Zeldazonk: AD induced bipolar 2 diagnosis?

[Zeldazonk]

Tumbleweeds....

 

So, it's a year since I started tapering! It's just a long horrible blur.

 

I'll be totally off Lovan in a month or so. At this point in time, I'm worse off than when I was taking AD's, I won't rule out going back on in the future but I've kind of exhausted almost all the options.

 

As I've said, TMS is my next step, and if that's not very successful I don't know. Maybe ECT or more drugs...

I'd like to give myself a good window without AD's though. Maybe I have to set a time period so I feel like I have some control.

 

Zel.

[Zeldazonk]

Just one more thought,

 

can anyone point me to a thread of someone who's had ongoing severe mental health problems, come off meds and has been able to manage or even been better without them medium to long term? It's hard to sift through everyone on this site.

 

I just realised I haven't had a period of hyper-arousal / wiredness for more than a month. Quite unlike me so I'll see what happens - fingers crossed.

 

I've decided to wait til October and reassess then - no other meds until after that.

By then the TMS will be finished & I'll have a good idea of how I'm travelling. I might just end up waiting & observing for another 6 months.

[Zeldazonk]

Hi,

 

I'll just keep writing this in case it's helpful to anyone in the future...lord knows no-one seems to be reading it now 

 

May 12th I stopped antidepressants. I was down to < 1 mg Lovan (solution) which I kept steady for the weeks I was doing TMS.

 

TMS was a total waste of time and money. Before I started, I was getting lower and lower & then went into agitated depression. Almost got admitted, but decided to do "hospital at home".

 

As I said above, before TMS I was not wired / over stimulated for 6 weeks which is some kind of record for me! I wondered if it was because I was almost off anti-D's. But then the agitation came and it's been with me for weeks.

 

It stayed right through the TMS and is still here. The TMS was very activating / overstimulating so now I'm wired again and agitated. Using Valium...

 

And wondering what the hell to do next. Will I make it to my October deadline before trying new drugs???

[Zeldazonk]

I don't know why my signature is in that pale grey, I did it in black.

 

Oh, it's changed now! 

[Zeldazonk]

Here's a question,

 

Should I be feeling better?

I took 14 months to taper and I feel a lot worse than I did before I started. I guess that's par for the course.? I just thought I wouldn't necessarily feel a lot better by now, but maybe not this much worse.

 

I've just been reading some posts which have reminded me that at least some of what I'm feeling is withdrawal - I think the long phase of agitation is likely withdrawal for instance, the crazy goings on of my inner thermostat certainly are (although I've had both these symptoms whilst on meds as well) and I guess the level of depression could be too.

 

How on earth do I tell though? I guess I'll wait as long as I can bare it. As long as I can stand the grief and guilt that comes with being severely depressed around a sensitive 12 year old who looks to me for everything...

 

I've just started on some L-Glutamine for my wired / hyperaroused / hypomania which is really helping, so hopefully a lot less Valium needed.

 

Z

[Zeldazonk]

Doh! Awful constipation from the L-Glutamine which I just can't have due to other health problems that I won't go into in polite company

What a bummer. No pun intended... it really was very effective.

 

Feeling very slightly better today... Lovely to be replied to by Powerback in another thread. Yes I do exist!!