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Delia,

 

I think Brandy might have found a possible source for your high anxiety.  You have been taking clonazepam off and on since May of last year, but it seems that you have taken it at least 2-3 times a week and possibly every day for some time.

 

All it takes is a few days for the brain to start to building tolerance to benzodiazepines.  You could consider Brandy's suggestion that you spread out your current dose so that you keep your blood level constant by taking a bit every day.  That  would keep you from going in withdrawal between doses if that is the cause of your increased anxiety.  The half-life of clonazepam is listed as being from 30 to 40 hours so that you might only feel the full withdrawal from it after a couple of days, and that might explain why you were able to take it only every third day.

 

Taking a bit every day would be an easy test to do and would not increase your overall dose.

 

I hang out in the benzo forum of Surviving Antidepressants and don't spend much time on the main forum unless someone tags me, so if you want me to suggest a slow taper rate, we could work on that together.  Here is the link for that forum:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-forum/

 

In the meantime, you could have a look at the Ashton manual, it's an excellent reference manual worth every minute of reading.  You might be able to validate whether your symptoms are typical of benzodiazepine withdrawal from it.   Here is the link:

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

I do not have a medical background, any opinions are my own.

 

I took zopiclone ( z-drug) for situational insomnia. Three weeks later I was having panic attacks. I was given Benzos, A/D, anti-psychotics, "mood stabilizers" and I kept getting worse and worse. I got very sick.

 

I have been off all drugs now for over 5 years and I'm healing nicely.

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HI Delia,

 

I am not a benzo coach, but I am a bit of an expert on the damage these drugs can do to one's body/brain.

 

For several years I was on 1 1/2 mg. clonazepam daily.  I then switched over to diazepam (valium) as it has a longer half-life and is supposed to be an easier taper.

 

Two things...though 1 mg. clonazepam doesn't sound like much, did you know it is an equivalent dose of 20 mg. of valium?  That is not a small dose.  Though you have said you are not dependent on it, meaning you absolutely wish you didn't have to take it, you are depending on it to get you through every third day at work.  I am not saying that you should stop taking clonazepam right now, but I think you should listen to the experts here that are telling you to spread that 1 mg. out over 3 days.  The 12.75 mg. valium I take supposedly has a very long half-life, but if I were to skip a couple days and take it every 3rd day I would be completely bonkers.  My brain is so sensitized to the drug it feels a very tiny cut overnight (last time I tried I was drenched in sweat the first night)

 

Here is something to consider...if the clonazepam every third day makes that day more tolerable, then perhaps spreading it out over 3 days will make every day a little more tolerable....maybe not as much as the way you are currently taking it; but Delia, your brain is confused.  It is trying to adapt to so many changes.  Our brains want homeostasis, steady blood levels.  Believe me, if I could go back 20 years, and someone had enlightened me the way I have been in the last 7-8 years on these forums, my life might just be normal today.  As it is, I really don't have much hope for a recovery.  You are young enough to recover, Delia. Listen to the people who know.

 

Also, it is very very likely that soon that 1 mg. every 3 days will not give you the same calming effect that it is giving you now, and then you will be tempted to up-dose.

 

If you do consider spreading this dose out over 3 days, do it knowing that it will take some time before you feel the positive effects of the change.  I always hesitate to give time parameters as they vary so much with individuals, but I wouldn't be surprised if it took a few weeks.  Just consider that you might feel better EVERY day rather than every third day.

 

Please accept my suggestions as being given with a caring and concerned heart, not with any judgment, just a person who attended the school of hard knocks and has never really graduated, but I keep studying!

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Delia, I'm concerned that we haven't heard from you recent days. I hope you're OK, and I hope what Grace and Wellness and I wrote didn't upset you or make you discouraged. I was very grateful for their wise input.

 

I want to make sure you know I absolutely don't blame you for taking the clonazepam, and that I am not suggesting you stop taking it. I also don't think you should taper it yet if your body needs it at this time. What we're suggesting is a way to help you feel better. We certainly don't want you to feel worse!

 

It's very late at night where I am and I'll post more very soon to explain why I think evening out your dose will make you feel better. I do want to say that if you decide to try doing that, that you adjust your dose schedule gradually. We can help you do that. (Many people, including myself, have had to change the schedule - not the amount - of their doses to keep their bloodstream levels of the medication more even. It's always best to change it gradually so you don't have the kind of problem you're concerned about, of suddenly getting less when your body expects more.) When you do the change as slowly and gradually as your body needs, you should find problems start getting better, not feeling worse. It's amazing what a difference a seemingly simple thing like that can make! But don't make any more abrupt changes of any kind. Sudden or too-large changes can sometimes help people feel better for a little while but then feel worse. What we're trying to do here is to help you feel better long-term, not just briefly.

 

I've been wondering - is it possible to take sick leave from work for a couple of weeks or so, to take the pressure off for a little while while still keeping your job? I think you're amazing that you've been able to keep working, but a little while of reducing that stress and effort might help your healing, and also to permit you to not worry about work as you gradually even out your doses if you want to try that. (I apologize if you've posted about that previously and I didn't see it. I'll catch up on all your posts as soon as I can.)

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Hello. I am sorry I haven't been present for a while. I was over anxious, but I've been doing a lot of thinking about your suggestion on evening the dose, really not knowing how to resist at work with a smaller dose. I took the decision, therefore, to reduce the dose that day at work, to take only 0,75 mg.

 

I will probably go from here to splitting this dose and spreading it over three days. It has been a very hard decision to make, because the stress at work is more than triple than the stress at home, so equalizing doses doesn't make my brain adapt to the same level of stress evenly anyway. But if that's a possibility to reduce anxiety I want to try it. I am at work now and took 0,75 , but feel I miss the 0,25 left. Still I am going to continue this way.

 

I can't have another sick leave because I just got back from one, but I will try to deal with this while working and the moment I feel I can't do it any longer I think I might quit my job. I am determined to do it if I can't handle without the Clonazepam because I realised from your posts the severity and the danger of benzodiazepines more than ever, I even entered the benzo forums Wellness suggested and got really aware of how much damage they may have caused me without knowing. The days off are still so difficult, so I am going to take your advice, not being sure at all I will handle at work like that, but, as I said, I might, probably today tell my boss to start searching for somebody else. It's time I start healing from this crap and get rid of it. It has all been a huge mistake ever taking it. I am saying that under the effect of the Clonazepam feeling as good as possible, but remembering the last few horrible days without. I can't go on like this.

Edited by JanCarol
admin - highlight drug changes

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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I still am sure the lack of Escitalopram is an additional culprit to my anxiety, as since I ended with it, all the ordeal started.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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You mentioned about a schedule of evening out the Clonazepam. I would be very grateful if you could help me do this, when should I start, is it ok to start from 0,75 mg as it is easier to splieint in three? I hope I won't be "screaming "from the restlessness during the program. What should I expect? Can I work during this or is it that bad to make me want to crawl out of my skin like in other situations?I haven't expressed my gratitude to you all for being so present to help me go through these difficult moments.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Hi Delia,

 

Sounds like you are trying to do the right thing. I know trying to level out your benzo dosing is really hard, but try to stick with it, and please resist the urge to up dose. I guarantee that will bring very short-term relief, at best, and then worse problems.

 

I like hearing that you are keeping an open mind about quitting your job. No job is worth taking pills for. I wish someone had said that to me 35 years ago!

 

Hopefully someone will come along soon and give you more specifics about your dosing.

 

I know you are doing the right thing by trusting the support you are getting here.

 

I am rooting for you.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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You mentioned about a schedule of evening out the Clonazepam. I would be very grateful if you could help me do this, when should I start, is it ok to start from 0,75 mg as it is easier to splieint in three? I hope I won't be "screaming "from the restlessness during the program. What should I expect? Can I work during this or is it that bad to make me want to crawl out of my skin like in other situations?I haven't expressed my gratitude to you all for being so present to help me go through these difficult moments.

 

Hi, Delia,

 

I'm thinking on how to more gradually (gently) do the transition to equal daily dosing, without lowering or increasing the amount of clonazepam you're presently taking (just evening it out for more steady levels in your bloodstream). I'm asking some people more experienced than I am for their input.

 

The easiest way to divide doses is to make a "virtual solution" by diluting the 1 mg. pills in homogenized milk. Are you able to get homogenized (NOT the ultra-pasteurized process or raw) milk where you are.? (That information should be listed on the milk container.)

 

I think you'll start feeling better soon, but if only to ease your mind about the transition, can you arrange to take about a week of sick leave from your job? That would take the anxiety off you - it might not be necessary at all, but a week's "vacation" might be welcome given all the stress you've been under. And as I said, then you wouldn't have to worry for a little bit about your body adjusting, without losing your job at this point. Sometimes people need to take short periods of time off work for medical issues they have to take care of. I don't know whether your bosses at your job would work with you on a temporary short sick  leave. If you take one week (presumably five work days) off, that would actually give you nine days off when you include the weekend days.

 

Let me know if you can get milk (just small quantities are fine) that is definitely homogenized. Many people here say that is not necessary, but at least with clonazepam (I'm still on 0.5 mg/day after having been on much larger doses of benzodiazepines as well as SSRI withdrawal) I found that using milk rather than water makes a very noticeable different in how I feel. But don't worry if you can't get that particular kind of milk; there are other ways to divide your tablet, and liquid is easy to measure into the exact amount you need at any given time. Splitting pills is not very exact, while liquid can be measured (with oral syringes with very tiny measurement markings) can measure very precise doses of any amount very evenly. Much better!

 

When you let me know if you can get homogenized milk, I'll explain how to do the diluting (titration) and measuring. It's very easy!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Hello, Grace. I do trust the support I find here,no doubt about it, I only fear that it is hard to work on benzos seeing what have done to me lately, but I am pronto to fight. I read the Anatomy of an epidemic today and that only strengthened my reasons to go forward with the tapering as soon as it is possible. I must find out also which one is better to taper first from the ones I am on, not before getting steady with the Clonazepam doses. I am helping myself with the herbs a lot so as not to up the dose when I am really down and edgy. I am hoping to do this without too much pain expecting me.I am starting from tomorrow to even the dose of Clonazepam,hoping on Monday at work I will be fine with 0,25 mg and herbs. Thank you, Grace, for the kindest words. It does a lot in these times.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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One more thought. It would probably be a good idea if you start a thread in the members-only benzo section on this site. People who are familiar with and dealing with benzodiazepine issues (such as clonazepam) often read and post there even if not often on the rest of SA, and they might have helpful suggestions about your clonazepam questions. (Keep using your Introduction thread for your general withdrawal questions and update, of course. The benzo section is for questions and concerns specifically about benzos, and is only for SA members who are dealing with multiple meds like you are.)

 

You don't need to do the work of explaining all your meds in your first thread in the Benzo forum. Just briefly explain that you are dealing with a history of multiple meds/withdrawals, then include a link to your Intro thread. You can put that link in either the body of your post in the Benzo forum, or in your signature. If you do start a thread there, please mention it in a post here in your Intro thread so we can know to look there for your questions and advice given you re the benzo (clonazepam), OK?

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Hello, Brandy. I haven't heard of homogenized milk,right this term, I don't drink milk, but here I find ultra pastuerized milk in stores and natural milk in the countryside, not even boiled (harder to get). I will look on the shelves though, but can you please explain me how to dilute Clonazepam into water and measure the proper dose?

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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0,25 mg clonazepam a day is easy to take without diluting, the tiny bit left is harder to obtain for certain, that if i must get to the 1 mg spread on three days, not the 0,75 mg as I intended to ease the splitting.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Hello, Grace. I do trust the support I find here,no doubt about it, I only fear that it is hard to work on benzos seeing what have done to me lately, but I am pronto to fight. I read the Anatomy of an epidemic today and that only strengthened my reasons to go forward with the tapering as soon as it is possible. I must find out also which one is better to taper first from the ones I am on, not before getting steady with the Clonazepam doses. I am helping myself with the herbs a lot so as not to up the dose when I am really down and edgy. I am hoping to do this without too much pain expecting me.I am starting from tomorrow to even the dose of Clonazepam,hoping on Monday at work I will be fine with 0,25 mg and herbs. Thank you, Grace, for the kindest words. It does a lot in these times.

 

I suggest you wait until your clonazepam dosing is evened out before you start tapering any medication (clonazepam or any other med). It's important to be gentle with our nervous systems! One thing at a time, with intervals between each change, because not all symptoms (or improvements!) happen at the same time.

 

Doing things one at a time and waiting til you're ready to do the next thing, not only helps you feel as well as possible when tapering or in withdrawal, but it also gives your body the best chance to heal and return to normal functioning. Don't overwhelm your nervous system with too much at worse. Once you're getting stabilized on the clonazepam would be a better time to figure out which medication would be best to taper off of next - and when.

 

Getting off meds faster does NOT always make you heal and feel better faster! That's a ;mistake most of us have made. The reason for tapering slowly and carefully off these kinds of medications is to let our bodies heal from the changes the meds have made in our bodies. A careful longer period of time tapering at a rate that supports your body's healing will actually help you heal faster than if you go too fast and then have years of recovery afterward. That is what happened to me (far too many times) and so many other people here, who didn't know that until we found groups like SA. I went through years of needless suffering because I didn't know what I've learned in withdrawal groups. Now many of us who had that happen try to help others avoid such needless suffering.

 

And we'll help you through all this. We understand, and we care!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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I will update my situation on the benzo section, as you suggested, Brandy, to keep receiving more information regarding such situations. I will give you a notice as soon as I do this. It is night time here now, I will do this in the following days.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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I assure you I will do the tapering very slowly as you said, I am determined to heal and not suffer to the extreme. Thank you for caring!

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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I'm thinking on what would work best for you. I have to return a call to my doctor's office (about non-w/d medical appointments) and other businesses because the business hours are ending soon here and it's Friday. But I will write back more this evening, OK?

 

If business hours are still open where you are, you might try calling dairies who make the milk in your stores, and ask if they have whole milk that is homogenized. (Homogenized is the most common process where I am in the U.S., so sometimes they don't even label that it is homogenized. The dairy would know which process they use on which kind of milk. You would need "whole" (full-fat, NOT reduced or non-fat, milk.) If it takes a while to get that information, we'll think of what else would help you measure doses temporarily, but do get started looking for whole milk that is homogenized. (You will only need small amounts - like you, I don't normally drink milk, but buy it just for diluting my doses.)

 

I'll write more very soon. You're doing great - you're learning a lot about these meds that will help you a lot as you recover and get back to health!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

Link to comment

I assure you I will do the tapering very slowly as you said, I am determined to heal and not suffer to the extreme. Thank you for caring!

 

Just don't change your total dose! If your body is used to getting 1 mg every three days, you need to get the same total amount over three days, even though we will be working on getting it to more even doses (0.33 mg) each day. We'll do that gradually and then pretty soon you should start feeling better. But be sure you're getting a total of 1 mg every three days. Don't do a drop in total dose, especially when your body is as sensitive from your other withdrawal(s). Our bodies don't like big sudden changes, which is the reason for slow tapering. I'll explain more soon!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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You're welcome Delia. I go back and forth between here and the benzo forum as well as I have been poly-drugged.

 

I am intrigued that the herbs are helping. Are you keeping track of your symptoms and writing them down? It's funny how quickly we can forget these things. Perhaps making notes as symptoms occur would be a good idea. It may help connect the dots if you are unsure about what is causing what. It also actually eases my anxiety when I notice a symptom and then when it happens I know it will pass.

 

Good job reading that book for motivation. I haven't read it yet.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Delia, I haven't forgotten you! I got too sleepy to reply last night. But also I've contacted some people who have more expertise than I do about evening out doses. I will post more soon, and I also want to give you the best possible advice.

 

Do let me know what you've found out about the milk available in your area. Other people use other ways of diluting the pill, so we'll find out which method is possible for you. Also, you might want to call your pharmacy and see if liquid clonazepam is available in your country. (It's not available in the U.S., and isn't in most countries, so that's not often mentioned on this group, and various ways of turning a tablet into liquid work fine for many of us.) The advantage of liquid, whichever method we use, is that we can create whatever dose works best for our body at any given time, and not be reliant on the limited selection of tablet doses available. Using liquid is a much more accurate way to measure any dose than cutting tablets.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

Link to comment

Hello :)  . I have good news. I took my Clonazepam dose evenly every day 0,33 mg in the last three days. I split the dose as good as I could, but I still need the secret for dilution in milk or other liquid for successful results on the long term. The results so far are amazing as I feel very well, I haven't felt this way in months, normal. If you hadn't made me see what I was doing wrong I wouldn't have gotten here and I feel enormously grateful for your suggestions. I am very glad I listened because now I feel good every day, the fear is a shade now. I found out that most milk on the market is homogenized, so I am buying it on Wednesday and hope to gather some information from you about the titration process. Thank God I found this site and you and retrieved balance.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Oh Delia. That is so good to hear. Great job. I am not an expert in liquid titration, but I am sure someone will come along soon to help. It's so good to hear you sounding so much better.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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I'm so glad you're feeling better!!!

 

I just have a moment right now, but before you shop for milk I wanted to mention a couple of things:

 

Make sure that the milk you get is "pasteurized" NOT "ultra-pasteurized," as well as homogenized. I think pasteurized and homogenzied is the most common, but at least in the U.S. where I am, ultra-pasteurized is being used more often than it used to. (And I don't think any raw milk could be homogenized.) So definitely homogenized, but very important that it be pasteurized but no "ultra" pasteurized or ultra heat process.

 

And if you don't drink milk you won't need much. If you can get the right kind in a pint, that will be enough. You'll only be using a very small amount each day. Where I live I can only get milk in quarts, and I often have to throw out half or more of the quart. I hate to throw away food, but only a small amount is needed, and it makes such a difference in measuring - and also how I feel, I've learned.

 

In a while you'll need a 30 or 60 mL oral syringe, but that can wait a bit. Since you're not tapering yet (I think you should hold to make sure you're stabilized at 0.33 mg/day before tapering, if others agree), you don't need that quite yet. You can measure closely with a measuring spoon til you get the syringe, so I'll explain about that tomorrow or the next day.

 

But you will need some small jars for dividing your doses. Just regular glass jars or jelly (canning) jars. They need to have tight-fitting lids (that screw onto the jar) and they need to be clear or light enough in color that you can see the milk in them (to make sure the doses are evenly divided). You'll need three that are the same kind and size, that are very small - large enough to hold about 30 mL milk plus at least that amount of space above the milk so the dose won't spill when you pour it in or when you shake it very slightly to make sure the milk is dissolved. (Though don't shake the jar once you're measuring doses. You'll just swirl it around in a circle a little bit, without tilting it. But you want to make sure it doesn't spill out or get on the lid too much.)

 

In addition to those three small jars (which need to be the same size and kind), you'll need two more slightly larger - about 6 to 8 ounce size. I don't really know the metric system, but I think it would be about 100 - 250 mL (?). These two don't have to match and be the exact same size. If you have 5 of these you can use all the same kind; the other three I mentioned don't have to be smaller - just small enough that you can pour about 90 mL milk (which is what you'll dissolve the 1 mg. tablet into) into three divided equal doses into other jars, to take one each day.

 

This sounds much more complicated than it is! It's easy and quick to do (I'll explain how when you have the milk and jars) and becomes a quick routine once you get used to it, like brushing your teeth! It's just more complicated to explain than to do, so don't worry!

 

So - homogenized pasteurized (not ultra-pasteurized or UHT) milk, and small jars. Soon the oral syringes (without needle), which I'll explain about soon. That will make for even more precise measuring and a smaller one will measure for tapering - but please don't taper just yet! Let your body stabilize; slow tapering works best when people are as stable as possible on their dose, I'm told.

 

(I apologize if I made this sound needlessly complicated. I need to get some sleep now!) And until you have the milk and the small glass jars, keep doing what you're doing since it seems to be helping already!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Delia, I was very sleepy when I posted last night. So I decided to write down what I do now to make sure I explain it right. This will sound very complicated, but I'm trying to explain it a bit and make sure I don't leave out anything. It's really very simple and quick once you get used to doing it. I'll explain what I do to make even daily doses when not tapering. (I'll let others help you in the Benzo section of this site, when you're ready to taper. They can help you better with tapering than I can. But this will get you started on diluting your tablet and getting each daily dose as even as possible.) I'll paste in here what I just wrote down (I'm so used to doing it, I had to think about what I do!):

 

The suggestion I'm making for evening out the dose of a tablet over multiple days is based on what I do. It's not the exact method used for tapering with accurate measure of tiny drops in dose, but I'm not tapering at this time and others can give you more accurate information about how best to do that. (I've only done much-too-fast tapers, which I do NOT advise.) But I do think you should hold at .33 mg (1/3 tablet) per day for a while before starting to taper.  The following is what has basically worked very well for me in dividing a tablet over multiple days, and is based on what works well for many people when they need to dilute the dose of a fat-soluble medication like clonazepam:

 

This only works for fat-soluble medications like clonazepam. It's based on the principle that a very wise lady who had a benzo forum (which is no longer in existence, unfortunately) found - that homogenized milk dilutes fat-soluble meds into what is close to being an evenly-disbursed solution. (Not an actual solution, but works well like one.) It is NOT her brilliant method for tapering, and I am not able to help with that. But I simplified part of what she recommends in order to even out my doses and it helped me enormously.

 

Basically, I put the clonazepam tablet in a measured amount of milk and swirl it around in a jar just slightly, then let it sit in the refrigerator at least an hour or more. Different tablets dissolve at different rates. Mine seems to dissolve quite quickly, but I usually start dissolving it the night before, then divide the doses (into small equal-size jars) in the morning. But when I've forgotten to do that, an hour or even less seems to work and not cause me problems.

 

The jars you use would be regular glass jars with lids that screw on. You may already have what you need in your kitchen. Otherwise simple canning (jelly) jars will do fine.

 

Just as an example, I dilute my tablet in 30 mL (cc) milk per dose, because I do twice-daily dosing and that permits me to see that doses are equal when I divide them into jars for each dose. So I measure out 120 mL milk into a jar and drop in my tablet to make 8 doses to last 4 days. You can probably use a smaller amount, though this amount works well for me. Don't use more because clonazepam should be taken on an empty stomach (ideally, at least three hours after eating and one hour before). But the small amount of milk used to dilute the dose doesn't seem to affect absorption and seems to dilute the dose very evenly.

 

In your case you would be dividing your tablet for three days, so I think measuring out 90 mL milk would work well. I recommend an oral syringe (no-needle type) to measure it out, but since you're not tapering, I think you could just measure the amount with a measuring spoon until you get the oral syringe. Just be sure to keep the measured amount consistent each time.

 

As I mentioned, the milk should not be ultra-pasteurized or ultra-heat process. Regular pasteurized woks fine. It must be homogenized.
I pour what I've found to be slightly more than the amount I need into one glass jar, then measure from that (with the oral syringe) the exact amount and put that into another jar that is just large enough that I can swirl it around slightly when I first put in the pill and again when I go to divide it into daily (in my case, twice-daily) doses later. Don't shake the jar! The homogenization of the milk will dissolve it quite well, and it's best not to get it all over the jar or inside of the lid by shaking it. That will make it harder to measure out for your three-day supply of doses. But if that does happen, it's easy to take care of because after measuring out your three daily doses, you'll then put a tiny bit of water into the original jar and swirl that around slightly and divide that like you do the milk (evenly into each day's dose jar) to be sure you get all of it.

You'll need three small jars with lids to measure out your three daily doses when the pill has had time to dissolve. They should be the exact same kind (same size and shape), because you'll pour the amount you dissolved into equal portions into the three jars. When they're even, put a small amount of water into the original jar and swirl it around and divide that into the three other jars til they too look as even as possible.

Once you get an oral syringe for measuring the milk, that should be for measuring the milk used to dilute the entire tablet only. You still divide the total into three little jars by pouring it. (When you're tapering in the future, you'll use a smaller syringe that can measure out the tiny amounts that you'll drop - but don't start tapering yet. Others here are much better at advising about how to drop in dose once you're stablized. I really recommend posting for advice on that in the Benzo section of this site, because there are people who mostly read there who are very knowledgeable about benzo tapering, and preventing the kind of problems you and I have had when tapering too fast or with uneven dosing.)

 

What I'm suggesting you do now (similar to what I'm doing) is much easier than it sounded. I just wanted to explain how you can make doses quite evenly divided. To others reading this, the milk method only works for fat-soluble medications. Clonazepam is fat-soluble, but some other benzos are not.

 

(Before I forget, when you do start using oral syringes in tapering, prepare them the first time by dropping in a couple of drops of liquid dish detergent and some water, then shaking them and then rinsing them very thoroughly. Probably a good idea to do this more than once. Just the first time you use them. Almost all oral syringes are coated with silicone which someone in that now-gone benzo forum I mentioned learned can absorb some of the milk liquid. Apparently the detergent helps get rid of the silicone coating in the barrel of the syringes. You don't need to worry about that now, I just wanted to write it down before I forget. Also, I can give you some tips on how to keep the oral syringe working well for quite a while and not sticking when you use the plunger. I don't want to confuse you or anyone with all that now. Remind me to post about it when you're starting to use syringes.)

 

Here's a summary of what I suggest now to make one tablet into three days' doses:

 

  • Measure out the total milk you'll need for the 3 days' doses into a glass jar. About 30 mL or less per day, multipled by 3 for 3 days' doses. (Write down the amount so you can keep it consistent each time you do this.) Then drop the clonazepam tablet into the jar, put on the lid, and swirl the jar gently to help the tablet start dissolving. Swirl it very gently in a circular motion; don't shake it.

 

  • Refrigerate the jar at least an hour, or overnight. When you're ready to take your first dose of the dissolved tablet, have 3 small (small jelly jar or even spice bottle is fine) jars in a row on the counter. Swirl the milk jar with the dissolved tablet like you did before, then remove the lid and pour the milk evenly into the 3 small dose jars. (You'll probably have to pour tiny bits of some into the other jars til you get it where it looks very evenly divided. With practice this will get easier; just pour very slowly.)

 

  • Then put just a tiny amount of water into the original jar and swirl it to "rinse out" the rest to get the entire dose.   Pour that remainer into the 3 dose jars so once again the 3 jars are even. This way you get the full 1 mg. over the 3 days and don't lose any.

 

  • Put lids on two of the jars and refrigerate them immediately, and drink the other as your day's dose. Again, after drinking the day's dose, put in a tiny bit of water, swirl it, and drink the "rinse water" so you get the entire .33 mg.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

Link to comment

Thank you, Brandy, for your effort on explaining in such a detail the process of dilution. I will certainly try it as I don't wish to increase the Clonazepam, but keep this dose for a while before tapering. My latest news are that since yesterday I've been feeling very down and the anxiety returned, though I can handle my job pretty well but I am deeply unhappy, not knowing what to do any more. Thinking that I am on a cocktail of meds and still feeling so sensitive and sad burdens my mind and soul even more. I keep trying to remember my self in the past before ever taking medication, and I used to hide a huge pain all the time. Therefore, I became aware, that with less drugs or with no drugs I will always be extremely sad, unfulfilled in my inner self and  prone to self-harm probably, not yet, have been in the past, but know it will return. I find myself in a losing situation back and forth and can't handle inside myself anything. I just survive in a terrible struggle where every second seems eternal. There is a pain in my back neck and arms almost unearable and a pressure on my head that sometimes makes me want to cry, but I can't. Sometimes I do if I remember the days I didn't take any meds and experienced deep moments of sadness in spite of everything being in its place. It only confuses me more and I know there should have been another way, other than drugs, but nobody knew that much around me. I have been having those moments since childhood, innocent situations used to harm my feelings way too much and would suffer in silence.

Probably this job is preventing me from having the courage to fight even more, reducing me to this military schedule and frightening me, as I am always afraid not to get tired to work, the day after work I find myself too tired and depressed, the day before work the scenery is me scared of the day to follow at work, will I resist mentally, will I do my job properly. It's nothing more in my life, other than these fears surrounding and suffocating me. The job is easy, I am aware, the schedule is a bit twisted, but I wouldn't do 8 to 4 anyway. I know I am the problem and the torture is I have no idea how to feel otherwise. I cannot simply convince myself otherwise. I have tried exercise, breathing, praying, sometimes I am too tired to even follow any program of these. Too little comes from the heart, the rest is forcing myself and suffering more once again. The need to rest robs the little time I have so I don't even know how to enjoy life, how it is done. It should be felt, but that's just enormous to me. If I didn't work I would still stay indoors, but resist to pain much better and wait for the healing to happen after every tapering, be more patient probably. 

I want to feel good, but I don't know which is the way, as I normally never enjoyed life, always felt down and disappointed by those around me and mostly by myself, for not being strong enough.

I am also full of frustration for losing my life to nothing and keep doing it without any power to do otherwise. 

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Hi Delia,

 

I am very sorry you feel so down again.  I can relate to the "was I ever really happy?" ideation.  When I look back over my life, I tended to be on the depressed end of the continuum.  I went through the motions of life but don't think I was born with the same "happy genes" that many are so blessed with.

 

My scary depression came on postpartum w/ my first child and I never really recovered, but I believe that is because I have been on an AD or some drug ever since.  I really think (perhaps naively) that I know now, clearly, how to "behave my way out of depression".  I don't mean to sound cavalier about that, but I do think these drugs blunt our ability to do the things we know will help our mood.

 

I try very, very hard to distract myself.  I know that is easier said than done.  I try to allow myself a certain amount of time to perseverate on my situation and what I am going to do next, and then I put my phone and computer aside (they allow me to dwell on my physical and mental problems; google is a blessing and a curse!) and just give myself permission to just watch tv or do a crossword puzzle, take a bath, or work on photographs (hobby) etc. I still find my mind wandering back to hysterical thoughts of "what am I going to do", but like meditation, you allow yourself those moments, and then try again to force that negative talk out of your brain.  If you have a plan for right now, drug-wise, you don't really need to think about what to do next, until you are stable enough to do something.  Try to engage in something you are good at or enjoy.  I find people to be such a good distraction; do you have friends that will listen to your problems, but then you can talk about regular stuff too?

 

Try to remind yourself to live in the moment.  On your days off, when you think about the next day, remind yourself that you will do what you need to do tomorrow, but for right now, you are handling today, and that is all you have to think about.  I may have written this to you before but I live by the mantra, "Live one day, one hour, one minute at a time."  I don't see any other way for us.

 

I hope this wasn't too preachy.  Someone probably needs to send this same message to me!  I know all of this , but I don't always listen to myself! :)

 

As long as you keep moving forward, even if you feel numb and don't want to, you will find your way out of the darkness.  You had a good day the other day. You have no reason to believe another good day isn't coming soon....

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Thank you, Grace, for the encouragement, it made me feel much better expressing my sorrow here after a long day and your words made me rethink my situation, as I succeed to work with myself better since I am on fewer meds, this is true and something very useful in my advantage to take into consideration during this battle, a continuum. I accept that when there are moments of relief as it started to happen lately. My mood has lifted instantly after I wrote down my thoughts here, it doesn't happen if I try to keep a journal though, I feel unnatural there, trying to fill in the blanks, not wanting to. But I adress to people with many perspectives here and this gave me confidence to share.

 

I don't have friends, not a single one, true friends I mean to meet with. I talk to a close friend through messages and over the phone, but don't have any friends to gather with and make time pass. I don't feel good in close circles. To me, is real struggle when the whole family gathers once in a year and it tires me very much the noise and the come and go or having to pay attention. I care about them very much, I am just insecure around everybody and don't feel I belong there, like an outsider. I never succeeded to be like them and they don't fancy about people like me, extremely introverted sometimes. We care about each other, but don't talk about it. My mother in the last few years started to express her love towards me, at first I felt uncomfortable, but now it just seems plain. I am not used to expressing verbally caring feeling inside my family. It takes an abnormal effort to do it and makes me feel awkward and wrong. We care about each other and we know it, but showing it is another level hard to reach. 

 

I am strongly trying to heal through prayer, but if it happens to suffer a nervous breakdown like yesterday as I got upset too easily for something ordinary, I can't pray any more for a day or too as I feel unworthy and fake, just because I acted badly. We are supposed to behave in a proper manner and then come to prayer to helps us through hard times to continue to be dignified. If I am quarreling and can't make peace, prayer is not welcome. Still, this is my weapon as I am trying to strengthen my faith, to feel that I live with purpose and heal.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Delia,

 

You are among friends here, who care, and will listen. The people here will understand and accept you for where you are at the moment. You are right, I don't find writing in a journal meaningful either. It's like I am writing my own thoughts for myself to hear. It works for many people, but not for me.

 

So continue to write here on your good days, your bad days, and your days you will feel better by giving someone else an encouraging word or two. I have learned that friends don't have to be physically present to be friends. The best friends are the ones who don't go away, no matter what. People here are your friends.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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Delia,

 

You are among friends here, who care, and will listen. . .I have learned that . . . People here are your friends.

 

Grace

I wholeheartedly agree .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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I am at work, light work today, but I started to feel very anxious out of the blue. I am very tempted to take another dose of Clonazepam to end with this awful state. I hope I can resist without it, though it is very painful. Earlier today I was thinking to reduce the Clonazepam dose, I didn't do it, but thought about it after reading its harmful effects on the brain. I want to reach the 0, 25 mg before I get too addicted to the dose of 0,33 mg I am taking. I am still fantasizing I can deal without it, until I start feeling the pain in the back neck and arms and the inner tremor, the insecurity and fear. It's like I am another person without it. I just want to reach the 0,25 mg, then turn to the Mirtazapine and taper that one.I will never stabilise more than I am right now, that's what I am thinking, because I had better days before the anxiety coming back. I am still using caffeine as I am very sleepy during daytime and cannot stand that either. I just seem not to find a balance within.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Delia,

 

Please don't change anything w/o the advice of the mods.  I have lost track of exactly where you are in your taper, but I think it's too soon to even consider tapering the benzo any faster.  You will get much much worse if you go too fast.  Take a hot bath for the muscle aches.  It helps quite a lot for me.  Heating pads all over my body are comforting as well.  You can get microwaveable ones at CVS or Walgreens but I actually make my own.  Couldn't live w/o them.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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I feel well whenever I have less coffee and after a month of stabilizing it might be the proper time to taper extremly slowly the drugs I'm taking. I accepted to feel unhappy,even anxious on a daily basis and it's a good start for me, to let myself be. It will take years to rid the meds, even if I'm starting now. I may probably have this courage because I am fine now,but still want not to give up on trying.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Hello. To update my state, I want to say that anxiety disappeared completely and the pain it was giving me altogether. I am very content, and now I am taking: 1,95 ml Risperidone, 7,5 mg Mirtazapine (3,75 once a week for two weeks, after that will take 3,75 twice a week for two weeks and so on), and 0,30 mg Clonazepam(instead of 0,33 mg). Everything is working well and I rest fully.

Edited by JanCarol
Admin: highlight drug changes

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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  • Moderator

That's so good to hear Delia.

 

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thank you, brassmonkey . I know it won't be always like that, but i realise that almost 3 months have passed since I completely stopped Escitalopram and my brain can handle without it, so I went on to the next reduction ( the Mirtazapine ) which I will stop after the first phase and keep the same doses of the meds for 3 months and so on. I see it works better this way, giving time to the brain to adjust for the absolutely necessary 90 days.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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Hello. At work again, as every third day, I am starting to feel unpatient again to stay here for so long and feel the need to leave or take more Clonazepam which would be regretful. I am lacking energy and motivation to do anything and don't know what to do to feel more energetic and have the joy in doing things, not being so apathetic and slow. I keep wishing more and more to do something else than that, more than anything rest more. Mirtazapine drains my energy and doesn't give me anything instead. I was wondering what should I do with my jo when I will advance with the new reductions and I won't feel myself and I will suffer withdrawal from cutting back. I am not sure when to quit because 

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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I am not sure when to qui because I will have to stay put for a period until they find somebody else if I decide, so I don;t know when would be the proper time to take that decision. I will probably feel withdrawal after 14 weeks, should I announce now because here takes a long time ( so I heard) until they find replacement ( they pay awfully )? I don't have the energy to continue, that's for sure, but I feel a coward to tell.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. 4 mg/day for 3 days.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day(for 3 days), off Clonazepam.February 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(1,87 mg 3 nights/week), Buspirone 2 x 5mg(3 days,then stopped), Clonazepam occasionally (every third day usually 0,5 mg or 1 mg,hopefully I will stop); March 24th 2017: Risperidone 1,35 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg(0 mg every 3rd day); Anafranil 25 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg. April 18th 2017: Risperidone 1,30 ml; Mirtazapine 1,87 mg; Xanax 0,25 mg; Anafranil stop.May 6th 2017-present: Risperidone 1,30 ml.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium, Lavender (occasionally), Pramiracetam, Choline, A combo of Lemon balm and St John's wort.

 

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