235 posts in this topic

Delia,

 

I see in your signature that you took clonazepam doses up to 4.0 mg/day. Changing dosage frequently in 10 days is going to cause you problems.

 

Questions for you:

  1. When was the last time you reduced dosage of risperidone?
     
  2. When did you last reduce mirtazapine?

We've posted before that adding medications to treat withdrawal symptoms is not a good idea. It may help for a short time but will only make things harder for you in the long term. Your CNS (central nervous system) is destabilized from the many changes you've made. Have a look again at the chart JanCarol made of your medications and doses since January 2015. post with chart of Delia's medications and doses.

 

You have had symptoms. You have had anxiety. Taking medications has not helped you in the past.

 

In the future, you are going to have symptoms and you WILL experience anxiety again.  You know that the medication doesn't help you. What are you non-drug techniques are going to use to cope with it the next time?

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Thank you for being here.My last Risperidone reduction happened 4 weeks ago,from 1,45 ml to 1,40 ml.As for Mirtazapine still four weeks ago I started taking 1,87 mg two times a week,3,75 mg the rest of the week.The fact is during the holiday I felt well and calm,starting a new year stressed me a lot as I could only think of new problems.Should I stop taking the Carbamazepine?I started to go to the gym to cope with stress,but it is very hard to feel energized for that,mentally and physically.I started to go to church and I am trying to pray.I do everything with very big efforts.Staying to work has become a struggle also.

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I don't know about the carbamazepine. You'll have to decide whether to stay at 200 mg of that, to decrease dosage or to discontinue.

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I took Carbamazepine for three days only: first 2 days I took 200 mg/ day and the 3rd day I took half, which is 100 mg. The 4 th day I took nothing ( and I had a headache the whole day ), now I am in the 5 th day still taking no Carbamazepine or Clonazepam and not feeling the need to. Did Carbamazepine get out of my system? What about Clonazepam? The last time I took Clonazepam was January 19 in the morning 0,5 mg. I will not have them prescribed and I will not use them any more, meaning I won't rely on them like before, especially after the last failure. The unpleasant symptoms I am experiencing are continuous fatigue for years, anxiety coming and leaving and feelings of low mood most of the time, sometimes I get very scared of living, very pessimistic and gloomy. I also experienced SI, I hope it doesn't come back. The last week I slept badly ( and my face itched a lot at night ), since I reduced Mirtazapine I am waking often during the night, but going back to sleep, sometimes I feel awake the whole night, even when dreaming, strange. I don't mind too much, as long as I can keep anxiety under normal levels. It is usually exacerbated by my personal view on life and instead of driving me to solve problems, it blocks me and keeps me frightened and stressed. I am dealing with acceptance, reminding myself the whole thing, and low self-esteem is also a big problem I have always had. I only feel content and hopeful when fully rested, but that seldom happens.

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Delia, the problem isn't about whether the drugs are still in your bloodstream. The problem is that the changes are destabilizing to your body and specifically CNS (central nervous system), both of which NEED stability.

 

I'm really very sorry that you are feeling all those neuro-emotions and having fatigue and difficulty sleeping. Use the times when you feel a bit better to learn about and start non-drug techniques.

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I tried to gather myself together, so for 2 weeks I didn't add any Clonazepam or other med to the combination, but two days ago I couldn't stand the inner restlessness and sufference, so I started to take Buspirone. I've read it may start working after about 4-6 weeks. Although I am taking it early in the day, it interrupts my sleep frequently, so I wake up very tired and remain tired until noon, when I start to feel much better. As an immediate result I am very energetic, but only after I recover from the morning fatigue due to sleeping so badly and less than usual. I didn't want to add any medication, but after lowering the doses of my other drugs memories from the past started to come back to me and although they hurt, I believe it is normal to have memories. Still, memories like the smell and taste of the bagel I was having in the primary school shouldn't be painful, but they are. Everything is painful to remember, I don't know how to explain this except if it is related to my low self-esteem and I can't stand anything of myself. Anyway, I added this Buspirone because I also remember being always anxious and frightened in school, which worsened in the teenage years, before ever taking any med, I was overwhelmed by fear and I don't want to go back there never again, which is surely coming back to me day by day. Beside being the neuro- emotion exacerbated by withdrawal, it is also a fact of my entire life before ever taking any drug. I am not trying to convince myself, I wish I could remember myself otherwise, but these anxieties overtook my existence since I was a child. I am not very receptive at the non-drug techniques. Being constantly tired I could barely think to get up and stay at work, I gave up everything, even the gym, because it would exhaust me. One session of physical exercise would bring me down and make me feel physical pain for many weeks afterwards. I will exercise again, but for the moment it is not a viable technique. I am praying, but again, I am not receptive, still I continue. I tried Q-gong and I would get stressed while doing it, so I stopped. Ever since I have been taking Mirtazapine, I stopped exercising, reading, studying or holding a purpose to live for. I have become lazy, with physical pain and sleepy, with almost mental shut-down.

Since this drug Buspirone has been giving me positive energy so far- I hope the side effect it has on my sleep will subside with time and I also hope that I will be more calm within myself after a month. I am aware no drug is healthy, if it works less than expected or deteriorates my health, I will most certainly stop it.

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I am seriously thinking of stopping all medication completely starting right this evening,or I will move around it all my life.

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I realised I wasn't thinking clearly because I couldn't relax, so I started eating better last evening and I actually felt more clear after that,so I decided to stop the Buspirone and continue the normal schedule of tapering without making other changes in it. The Buspirone triggered more anxiety in me and if I could deal with that I could do it without drugs better. My back was tense all the time after taking that pill.

I must have grown up since my teen years,so I will deal with anxiety and rumination somehow. I don't know how or what techniques might work for me, so I will take one day at a time as long as I can. I guess I am desperately trying to encourage myself after realising that I cannot mentally and physically accept new drugs any more in my life to help me deal with the inner torment and life challenges.I am starting to be very lucid in my struggle.

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Delia. Your sentiments are interesting  and I agree but stopping Buspirone suddenly is not advised. How long have you been off it ? 

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Delia, please re-read your introduction topic from the beginning.

 

You'll see that many moderators have suggested that you keep your medication consistent:  don't add new ones, don't stop the ones you're taking, don't change the doses.

 

Last year JanCarol made notes of all medication changes you've made and created a graph that illustrates the wild swings. 

 

Keeping your medications the same for 6 months might make a huge difference for you. What do you think about that?

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It is no problem with Buspirone any more. I have only taken it for 3 days and stopped. It has passed a week since then.

Scallywag, I have long and well thought about your suggestion to keep the same doses of the medications for 6 months without making any change in this period. I am finding it a very wise suggestion, because the state I am in now can only bring me back in a relapse if I continue right now, so I should stop for this while, to feel better again. Only then I can say I have made a progress by feeling well at the doses I am at. I also decided to stop decreasing the Risperidone forever and continue taking it maybe for an unlimited period, because some of my hallucinations returned, which is a sign that more than that can return and disrupt my senses. So, after six months of much-needed pause, I will continue to decrease only the Mirtazapine. Meanwhile, I will also try to stay away from Clonazepam which I find hard, considering the anxiety, rumination, the whole inner upheaval. Thank you all the moderators for the wonderful, blessed interventions you made whenever I needed the most. I have never known such wonderful people like you in my life, to use their time and help needy strangers. I see you all as true angels. God bless you all forever!

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Nice to hear from you Delia. :D Let us know how things go for you over the next 6 months when you make NO changes to your doses.

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I am probably writing here for the last time. I have just had a mental breakdown this morning from sleeping only two hours at work last night and having to solve some problems in town for 4 hours this morning. I didn't succeed, although it was very important and I prepared the documents with care and it wasn't even my fault. The tiredness made me collapse mentally at home and I am taking the decision to start taking Anafranil. so i am not a success story and never will be. I give up, I am sorry. Thank you all for being so nice to me all this time!I wish you all happiness, peace and love. God bless you!

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As you will see I have been using Anafranil in the last 3 weeks, but beside reducing my rumination and inducing loss of appetite and weight loss, it has made my anxiety worse and I couldn't stop the benzos due to that. My doctor prescribed it in order to replace the Xanax that I only use occasionally, but the situation after these three weeks brought me on the verge of a panic attack. I don't know which is the cause, having reduced Mirtazapine while adding Anafranil or the Anafranil itself. I want to add that every morning after taking the Anafranil I experience a rise in anxiety. Plus at night I fall asleep easily but wake up after exactly 4 hours, at 3 in the morning, full of anxiety. I am finding myself at a loss. I only took Anafranil to help me against the horrible rumination, the painful thoughts and low self-esteem and also to reduce anxiety, but in this latter case, it didn't help at all, but worsened it. After the incidence with the panic attack I decided to stop, continuing like this might cause me to lose my job if I ever get into panic and I don;t want that. It is very important to keep my mind safe and still, but also lucid. So, starting tomorrow, after three weeks, I will not take Anafranil any more. What is to be done to help myself against anxiety and a healthy mind in this situation? Will I experience withdrawal after only 3 weeks of use of Anafranil?

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I know I blew it the last time I was here by not listening completely to your experienced advice, but I really need support and help to manage this situation I am in. to know how to continue and be safe, even with the price of losing my job to go through withdrawal, although I wouldn't want that, but I would do it if you say it may be necessary in order to succeed this process without adding anything else to my cocktail to resist.

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Having taken Anafranil for three weeks haa helped me half the dose of Mirtazapine.After the three weeks I stopped Anafranil and continued for more three weeks with the half dose of Mirtazapine which was 1,87 mg,six weeks in total.After the six weeks I stopped Mirtazapine for the first time and after a week from this moves my withdrawal symptoms are nausea and itchiness.I add that anxiety has diminished considerably and I am also not using any benzo whatsoever. My medication in present is only: 1,30 ml Risperidone and 600 mg Pramiracetam and I am more stable than ever.

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May 2017 has concluded my long experience with antidepressants, I survived antidepressants and what has left now is to survive anti psychotics. Which may probably be a tougher journey. I decided to start tapering the Risperidone maybe from August or December after I have completely stabilized from the antidepressants withdrawal. It is going very well so far, better than I have ever hoped. 

Thank you for keeping close.

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Delia, It's good to read that you've decided to wait at least 2 months before starting to reduce the dose of risperidone.  Your CNS will appreciate the time you're taking to stabilize.

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Congratulations on being AD free.  I hope things continue to go smoothly and that the APs don't cause any undue problems.

 

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

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