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Delia taking carbamazepine

escitalopram PAWS polydrug fast switch carbemazepine clonazepam alprazolam mirtazapine cold turkey irregular dose

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#37 savinggrace

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Posted 17 April 2016 - 08:32 AM

Hi Delia,

 

I am not a moderator, or an expert by any means.  I started reading your post and followed right up until the last one and even now I remain confused.  If I am confused, I can only imagine how confused you must feel!!  

 

Please understand that my intent is not to upset you; in 2002 I was EXACTLY where you are.  I was in a very high stress job and that is when I let my doctor put me on the cocktail of drugs I remain on today, desperately trying to get off.  Hindsight is indeed 20/20, but my husband and I agree, that had we known then what we know now (or even ten years ago) I should have quit my job right then, done what I needed to do to stabilize myself and my life w/o these toxic drugs, and then somehow get back to work when that happened.  Not making that choice has literally cost me my career/life.  It took me about ten years, and much research to realize that the drugs had, and were, only contributing to destroy my physical and mental health.  

 

Okay, back to you.  Do you write down your drug intake every day?  I read and re-read several of your posts and I was not sure even with the last one if you are still taking mirtazapine or not. (updating your signature when you have changed is important)  Perhaps if you write down, every day, when you take a drug and what dose you will be able to see more clearly what you are doing to yourself.  If you are taking meds at work, just keep notes on your phone.  I am currently doing this with my diet as I have severe digestive illness.  When I have symptoms, I can look back and see what I ate the previous few days, hours, etc. and try to connect it to what I am feeling.  When you try to keep this stuff in your head, especially in such a high anxiety state, you cannot possibly be clear in communicating to yourself or others what you are doing, and no one can help you.  

 

I think you have to make a plan, with the help of the moderators, and stick to it.  They can't help you if they don't understand what you are doing.  Your brain is so confused it can't stabilize because it has no idea what is coming next.  All the drugs you take, or have taken, are difficult tapers and need extremely careful tapering so steady blood levels can be achieved.

 

I do understand that quitting your job may not be an option for you.  That's what I thought too.  I didn't even consider it and I just kept letting my doctor manipulate my drugs/dosing so I could manage.  Maybe you could start trying to find a less stressful job.  I speak from the school of very, very hard knocks.  I made it through my last year of teaching but I never went back and had to retire, w/o pay, at the age of 48 because by the end of that year my brain could not handle much any more.  I loved my job, I was good at my job, and I lost it all ( including, to this day, any quality of life)  because of the drugs I so unwittingly allowed my doctor to put me on.  I trusted him.  In the end, it cost me more than had I quit.  I wish I had had contact with people such as those on this site back then...all I am able to do now is an excruciatingly slow taper that will take years and years.

 

Delia, you need help with this.  No one can help you if you keep changing your dosing, and don't make a plan and move from there.  If the plan changes every day, it is not a plan.  Sure, changes need to be made to accommodate tapering rates, but what you are doing is only going to make you worse.

 

I really am trying to help.  I know you don't need to be upset any more than you are. To the moderators, if this post seems too harsh or upsetting, just take it down.  I want to help Delia.  That's all.


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#38 Delia

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:18 AM

Hello, savinggrace. I am not upset at all about your post, I actually agree as sometimes I don't know where I am any more with the tapering, if it's safe or not. It is true, I must say I didn't take Mirtazapine at all, but for only three days, two nights ago I started taking half of the last dose, half being 1,87 mg and so far I respond well. It is the first time I am taking such a low dose of Mirtazapine. I have been taking 3,75 for almost a year. I am in sick leave until the 26th of April if they don't insist at work to get back earlier and I decided to stop Clonazepam completeley, and deal with Passiflora, until now, one pill of Passiflora in the morning. Evenings are hard to bear as I feel unsafe in the world and sad and anxious until I take my meds and pray strongly to fall asleep as soon as possible. As for the job, I decided to let them search for somebody else and give me unemployment so that I can receive a state facility until I get better, as I plan to continue in the future with an old dream unfulfilled, restart my autodidact studies, take some exams and open an association for translations from/in various languages.Until then I still have to go to work where I am now, as they don't give up easily and I can't quit ( if I quit I don't receive unemployment ), so I am gently going to tell them to let me go as I am not feeling very well. God will help me here also. Quitting my job has become a crucial option for the sake of my recovery, as I am nevertheless going to continue with tapering my last meds, which are right now Risperidone 1,30 ml and Mirtazapine 1,87 mg. I hope to end with the prescription medication for mental purposes by 2018.

 

I have a schedule with how I take my meds every day, yes, but only since I started to taper, I think since october 2014 (that's when I took Mirtazapine for the first time). I was prescribed 15 mg, but only took 15 mg for one or two weeks, and continued with 7,5 mg as the side effects were horrific. I stopped writing the exact schedule of administration this year, because I became severly worried about how I handle everything, tried Carbamazepine which made me so sluggish and blocked all my intentions. I ended that, nausea and harsh drowsiness turned me unfunctional.

 

I must say that I find Gaba very helpful to control anxiety and I hope 5htp will help me cope with depression. I am not in a worryingly low mood in present (my states would fluctuate day by day even when I was taking full amount of prescribed drugs), but depression accompanied me all my life, so I wish to block its full return.

 

Thank you for your intervention. All advice is welcome and necessary.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#39 Fresh

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:25 AM

Delia , you are more than likely to get extremely sick in the next few weeks after cutting your mirtazapine
by 50%.

" I must say I didn't take Mirtazapine at all, but for only three days, two nights ago I started taking half of the last dose, half being 1,87 mg and so far I respond well. It is the first time I am taking such a low dose of Mirtazapine. I have been taking 3,75 for almost a year. "

It's a foolish thing to do. I would go back up to your usual dose asap.
1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg
2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg
Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta
Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.
July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.
Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.
October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.
March 2016 , 21mg

#40 Delia

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 03:51 AM

I understand , Fresh. But how should i taper it? 1,87 mg once a week for two weeks, then two times a week for two weeks and so on...would it be ok?


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#41 mammaP

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 05:51 AM

You need to stay at the same dose for a few weeks to stabilise before you start to taper again because you have changed things a few times recently. Keep the doses stable then start to taper by NO MORE than 10% of the CURRENT dose with at least 4 weeks between cuts. If you continue to cut by skipping days or making big cuts you will make yourself ill. 

 

http://survivinganti...on-mirtazapine/


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

See how to create a signature here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Many drugs for many years, prescribed diazepam first 1973, took occasionally. 3 or 4 tricyclics  for short periods.

1993 had a breakdown leading to 10 years of drug experiments with all classes of psych drugs.

2002  effexor. 

Tapered by counting beads from March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

 

Also tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg -hold- Feb2016 46mg  March 8 2016 45 April 44mg  May 11  43mg June 14 42mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, pro biotic.

 

My story http://survivinganti...king-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

Following every sunset is a brand new day


#42 Delia

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 07:00 AM

Thank you for the indications on how to proceed. I was looking forward to receiving an answer and I feel grateful.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#43 mammaP

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 09:13 AM

Let us know how you are getting on, I hope things settle for you soon. We've all done this and lots of us ended here after doing it wrong! 


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

See how to create a signature here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Many drugs for many years, prescribed diazepam first 1973, took occasionally. 3 or 4 tricyclics  for short periods.

1993 had a breakdown leading to 10 years of drug experiments with all classes of psych drugs.

2002  effexor. 

Tapered by counting beads from March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

 

Also tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg -hold- Feb2016 46mg  March 8 2016 45 April 44mg  May 11  43mg June 14 42mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, pro biotic.

 

My story http://survivinganti...king-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

Following every sunset is a brand new day


#44 savinggrace

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Posted 18 April 2016 - 09:59 AM

Hi Delia,

 

I am glad you received my thoughts and suggestions w/o upset.

 

You mentioned that you stopped clonazepam.  It is not clear just how often you were taking that.  If you were taking it regularly, even intermittently, that can have its own w/d syndrome.

 

I was thinking about your obvious struggle to quit caffeine.  I have been on that journey for a very, very long time.  I used to be a diet coke freak, and for health reasons, slowly weaned myself off that over several years, only giving in a couple of times.  I switched to de-caffeinated coffee many years ago, and until I was recently diagnosed with severe GI disease, I was drinking a Starbucks iced-decaf almost every day and so now I have had to give up that little bit of pleasure (and the small amount of caffeine that was in in it) as well.  Sometimes, when I smell my husband's coffee, I submit to a few sips but honestly, it stimulates me so much it just isn't worth it any more.  Caffeine is a powerful drug; socially acceptable but a neuro-toxin for the brain, especially hard on those of us with other brain alterations. 

 

My discontinuation of caffeine, first diet coke, then coffee, then de-caf coffee took decades, but I was able to do it.  It was not a linear process; I had many "relapses" along the way, but I am just about over it right now and I know I am doing my brain a big favor.  I have actually been experimenting with herbal teas, and though many of them interact w/ my drug metabolism, some of them don't, and I am coming to enjoy this tea habit in lieu of the coffee.

 

With all the ups and downs your brain is struggling with, it seems like cutting caffeine is probably the easiest thing you could do to help yourself.  I didn't mean easy, but easier than the drugs.   When I was regularly consuming caffeine with diet coke and regular coffee, I believe I stopped feeling the energy boost and stimulation it can give. Now that I seldom have even a few sips, I feel adrenaline rushes through my body, telling me just how powerful it is.

 

I sincerely hope that your employers will let you go in the way that is most beneficial for you financially so that you are able to proceed down to the road to recovery that you described.   Sounds like a good plan!

 

Wishing the best for you.

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#45 Delia

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 06:18 AM

Hello. I reinstated the last dose of Mirtazapine I have been taking for a year and I hope to feel better by next week when I get back to work. The last two days it has been again enormously difficult for me to handle anxiety, more than depression and I am thinking it might be that I hadn't been taking any Clonazepam since Saturday the 16th of April. Lack of proper doses of Mirtazapine and abrubtly cutting Clonazepam have brought me to this point I can't bear existing and barely do anything. I forced myself today to take my cats to the vet for the annual shots. I did nothing the rest of the day, not a thing which is absolutely disappointing. There is so much to do and solve and feeling so low and tense, like nothing is worthed, my body aches (I tried praying in the morning and couldn't knee of exhaustion), I also can't focus well and am extremely impatient. I craved for Clonazepam today, but I truly want to follow a path without benzodiazepines.More, when I'll be at work who knows what might trigger the need for it and better resist at least for a whole week.

Grace, I was taking Clonazepam at need, but mostly every third day at work since May 2015, beginning with 0,5 mg and ending the year with 2 mg, Getting to that I stopped Clonazepam in December and took Carbamazepine for a month until January 2016 when I stopped Carbamazepine, but its effects prolonged until I restarted Clonazepam every third day, or when too overwhelmed some other days too. If I took it now, for example, for a good effect I might need to start with 1 mg up. My doctor prescribed 0,5 mg two times a day, but I am not following the schedule fearing addiction.

As for caffeine, immediately as I read your post about your caffeine story, it inspired me and gave me the urge to stop immediately again the caffeine consumption, so I put back my full coffee cup and prepared cereal coffee replacement instead.

I am only hoping to keep strong with the medication and don't up the doses, as now I am feeling so stressed and down that I am at times tempted to let meds kill my inner self once again. Still, I know I have come far and I shouldn't give up this time, as hard as it is.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#46 Fresh

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 12:17 PM

Delia , I'm going to ask one of our benzo experts to advise about clonazepam .... whether it's better to stop
it or to continue with a small dose. The last thing you need is w/d from that on top of the rest.

Hopefully , you'll feel more settled in the next week as your updose registers.

To help Wellness / Skyler , please could you note your clonazepam use over the last 2 weeks (as best you can).

Thanks Delia , Fresh
1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg
2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg
Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta
Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.
July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.
Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.
October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.
March 2016 , 21mg

#47 Delia

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Posted 20 April 2016 - 08:09 AM

Hello, Fresh. Thank you for your involvement in my situation. I could really use some proper advice on how/if to take any Clonazepam. At least for this week, as since Monday I am going back to work until they find somebody else and I might need it badly. The last two weeks I took Clonazepam in the following way: April 4,5,6 - 0 mg, April 7- 0,5 mg, April 8,9 - 0 mg,

April 10- 4,5 mg (divided in three doses), April 11,12,13,14 - 0 mg, April 15 - 1,5 mg (divided in three doses), April 16 - 0,5 mg, April 17,18,19 - 0 mg. I feel the need of taking it  at present in order to clear my mind and succeed at accomplishing something during the day, but most of all to ease the tension I am feeling all the time. I started waking up every morning really unhappy lately, which to me is a sign of recurrent depression. I don't know what to do any more, having become so divided between the desire to free from meds and the huge need to feel better. I keep wondering now even if I will ever feel better in life, living, with or without meds. Which is the better option? I have been taking medication since 1999 ( Zyprexa for 14 years ) and it has always been a struggle. Still, I find myself worse than before changing medication from Zyprexa to Risperidone; and adding Mirtazapine turned me into a veggie. I would find resources before, even the energy to force myself into doing stuff. It may be an age crisis added here now, but I don't visualise my inner life present or future in a decent shape and have become pretty insolent when it comes to doing anything, not finding any felt reason for it, or at least physical power. I fear doing anything and this fear doesn't leave me. I don't like where this change brought me, but I wouldn't go back to Zyprexa, as I went through hell with its side effects on me; for this reason I tried to stop it abruptly many times and the hell enlarged.

I feel like saying "show me the path", but who can? I don't even perceive the horizon.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#48 Wellness

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Posted 20 April 2016 - 01:53 PM

Delia,

 

adding clonazepam is really asking for trouble.  The good thing is that you have been taking it occasionally for a short time, and that is a good thing.  If you had taken it daily for as little as two weeks, you could have built tolerance.  Clonazepam is a very powerful drugs.  If you take it, you will feel better, that is for sure.  But the effect won't last long and in a matter of weeks/months it won't work anymore and you could feel strong withdrawal symptoms that could include anxiety, depression, suicidality, insomnia, paranoia, pain, and more.  The withdrawal symptoms are similar to the reason you initially took it for, in your case anxiety, except much worse.  The longer you take clonazepam, the more anxiety you are likely to experience.  It is typical to feel the more intense withdrawal symptoms in the early morning. 

 

The withdrawal process for clonazepam can take several months and up to a year or more just to get off the drug all the while experiencing withdrawal symptoms and then you may continue to have withdrawal symptoms once you are off the drug for 6 to 18 months, or more.  You would do yourself a huge favor by not taking anymore.  

 

Regarding mirtazapine, I am not an expert but from my personal experience with this drugs, I had to dissolve the drug in water and reduce my dose by 0.02 mg every day and I had very strong withdrawal symptoms, anxiety, trembling, shaking, nausea, headache, insomnia all the while I was reducing the dose.  All this from having taken it for less than 5 months.  In my short lived experience it took about 10 days for the worst of the symptoms to appear after a reduction in dosage, so I'm not surprised that you felt you had to reinstate the drugs. 

 

Although you have had anxiety for a very long time, it looks like you have also been taking p-drugs for a long time.  At this stage, it may be difficult to know how much anxiety is caused by the withdrawal symptoms you may be experiencing from going cold turkey off of one drugs and starting another, how much anxiety may caused by a dependence from any of those drugs, and your normal anxiety.   Also, in my case, mirtazapine caused a lot of anxiety, a feeling I have rarely felt unless I was taking the drugs.

 

it seems to me that unless you are off all drugs for at least a year or two, you won't know how much natural anxiety you really have but you will need to go off the drugs in a very slow and controlled manner to become drug free.

 

Please consider offering the clonazepam to the gods of the garbage bin as a good option for your clonazepam.


I do not have a medical background, any opinions are my own.

I took zopiclone ( z-drug) for situational insomnia. Three weeks later I was having panic attacks. I was given Benzos, A/D, anti-psychotics, "mood stabilizers" and I kept getting worse and worse. I got very sick.

I have been off all drugs now for over 5 years and I'm healing nicely.

#49 savinggrace

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Posted 20 April 2016 - 04:55 PM

Delia,

 

it made me happy to read that I inspired you to cut the caffeine.  Yeah!!!  You may relapse, but you are on your way by throwing out that full cup of coffee you referred to.  Your brain is thanking you.  It doesn't need any unnecessary stimulation.  It is excited enough by all the medicine and w/d.  BTW, what is cereal coffee?  is it chicory or something?  i crave coffee like crazy...cannot believe I gave up my 13 year Starbucks habit, but my brain is happy I did (and so is my wallet :))

 

When you said you took the cat to the vet, but did nothing else the rest of the day, i thought, "Yes, you did. You took care of yourself."  Delia, that is what you are supposed to be doing.  Sure, distraction w/ activity is good, at times, but sometimes the very best thing you can do is give in and rest.  Your body and your brain are working hard to take care of you, so help them and try to lower the expectations you have for yourself for purposeful activity.  Taking care of yourself if your job right now.  Give yourself a break.  Believe me, I have to tell myself these things almost every single day.  Some days the only thing I do is go for a short walk....that's all.  Yesterday,  I was too tired to even talk on the phone to two friends who called or even watch tv.

 

If the benzo coaches are saying don't take the clonazepam, then get rid of it.  If you don't have any, you can't give in to it.  If someone had told me this a few decades ago, my life would be markedly different now.  Trusting my doctors back then was the biggest mistake of my life.  Trusting the people thing is the smartest thing you can do.

 

Delia, hang in there.  I am rooting for you.  Try taking a hot bath.(epsom salts are nice) It's my "go to" for agitation and stimulation.

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#50 Fresh

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Posted 20 April 2016 - 06:28 PM

Don't worry about the horizon for now .... just deal with what's directly in front of you. The horizon
will come into view when you're ready for it.

"Please consider offering the clonazepam to the gods of the garbage bin as a good option for your clonazepam."

So this is the advice: hang in there until the updose kicks in WITHOUT clonazepam. You have enough on
your plate with risperadone and mirtazapine.

You've talked alot about how the coffee makes you agitated and tried stopping it a few weeks ago. Please
take the idea of cutting it out permanently seriously.

bw ,
1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg
2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg
Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta
Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.
July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.
Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.
October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.
March 2016 , 21mg

#51 Delia

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Posted 21 April 2016 - 09:14 AM

Hello.I owe big thanks to all of you trying to help me so much with the information, advice and support. It's all coming into a very needy time for encouragement and acknowledgement. Reading your answers made my day, so to say, gave me hope and strength to make good decisions last. Therefore, I decided to hang in to where I'm heading in life without Clonazepam, letting myself feel the proper emotions of life, tempering myself through self-consciousness and acceptance of my true self, which is not that wretched to be put to silence.
Living the present moment is the best if one does not have to try that hard into anything. I am visiting my grandmother today and took a walk in the countryside.I didn't have the courage to do that, but forced myself into it, knowing the benefits of walking in nature altogether.I wanted to give myself my own example to follow, that it is doable. Did I feel insecure? Yes. Even melancholic passing by places of childhood forever gone and still feeling unhapiness inside about what's to come.

 

But I recalled of the present moment which showed me the beautiful surroundings filling solitude with colours.I still haven't gone too far to feeling joyful,but I realised better some things that I found essential :I am seeing more clear everything around, I am not stiff into wanting to enjoy and I am asking myself geography questions. All these findings encouraged me to pursue the decisions following your answers. The mind is clear!!!!!

 

I had a better day,accompanied by anxiety, but letting myself feel with courage, experience doing things through fear without panicking. It was easy today as I am in a familiar loving place. But that is what was given.
Grace, your support restarts me,thank you. The cereal coffee I am consuming is made of 93% toasted barley and rye, little chicory and beetroot-toasted.It is called Inka and it's cheaper than pure chicory coffee replacement.

 

I am taking rarely the hot baths (with vervain oil),when I feel sure I can stay in without feeling too tired which gets me panicky. Tireness usually triggers fear into doing anything. I'm working on it with the acceptance of rest at its time.

 

I am still done with coffee.

 

I barely helped myself by now not to mențion my worries about how I will resist at work "by myself". But I will.
I think that not feeling guilty about self-care will be of major help, as increasing my self-esteem always made me cope better with reality. It might be as simple as ending with guilt could release my soul. I always saw the day ending without meaning whenever I allowed myself into pampering and ending too soon, so I started to fear helping me by any means. I guess I will consciously try to change that. Do you think it might be an issue for being so insecure and fearful of acting the feeling of guilt and worthlessness to self -indulge?


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#52 Delia

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Posted 21 April 2016 - 09:54 AM

I am still very much aware all the time of what I don't do instead of what I do good, which I don't know how to work on properly.I have the example of my mother in front of me all the time being so energetic and doing so much,while on medication herself. I know it may be the way she was raised, and being super active comes as instinct, but while admiring her,I feel so wrongly mannered about not helping with anything that she's not even expecting.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#53 savinggrace

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Posted 21 April 2016 - 03:08 PM

Hi Delia,

 

It's nice to know that someone really listens when anyone takes the time to write.  You do a nice job of acknowledging people's responses.  THAT is indeed something you did well today.

 

I don't know about the insecure thing.  I suppose I have learned to live w/ the feeling of worthlessness and seeming "self-indulgence" because this life of just trying to get through the day and take care of myself has given me no choice.  I try hard not to dwell on this.  Just the other day my husband had to convince me to take a day off from my daily walk...I was too fatigued and sick.  I don't take myself off the hook easily, and it doesn't sound like you do either.  On good days, you can't stop me.  (I might have to post about that some day...mania almost?)

 

The thing is, I know who I really am.  I am not (In my inner being) this person.  This is me on drugs.  This is not a choice I made; lying on the couch or in bed most of the time.  I was an over-achiever all my life.  My husband was constantly trying to get me to slow down.  In my head, I am still that person.  My body does not have that ability any more,  and so I have to make peace with it.  Taking care of myself (I have the luxury of an amazing husband who is retired) has to be my sole purpose right now.  I know that sounds selfish but it has become my reality.

 

I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you are much younger than I, and though it may not seem feasible in this moment, you have your whole life ahead of you.  First, you have to get well.  If you had cancer you would not feel guilty about doing nothing.  What's wrong with us is just as bad as cancer; maybe worse.  Taking care of yourself if very purposeful, smart, and the right thing to do.

 

Thanks for sharing about the coffee. I may try chicory.  I can't tolerate the other grains. 

 

Every day with less drug gives your brain more time to heal.  You WILL do this; i know it!

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#54 Delia

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Posted 21 April 2016 - 10:11 PM

Hello. I realise once again too much analyze is harmful to me and therapy has always brought me backwards into hopelessness.

 

Mirtazapine kicked in and I am calmer today, although in known circumstances which I cannot see that are to come when I'll be at work. I will start by doing my best to hang in without the Clonazepam at work, but if the situation gets too rough for me I'll simply try to hurry my way out. I have never anticipated well my reactions, but I know for sure I am always keeping strong in the beginning to only give up a bit later.That's a piece of me I have learnt about and cannot stand.But a whole life in stress is also out of the question so far as there is no lesson about handling stress to have worked by now.The fact is that in 24 H at row breathing deeply, positioning the mind into positive and praying, in one word focusing on calm, seems impossible when interrupted continuously. A successful minute fades in front of the rest of the day and night. I will do my best though.

 

Thank you for the encouragement, Grace. I would gave my young age with a low mood to an even very old age in good shape of mind

 

I guess I would give my years for older ones in any mood, as long as life is about to end finally. I see you had a long struggle too and that the fight is neverending and the mind keeps racing.It is just not fun at all accepting or not accepting an unhappy self.Results are needed anyway, but happy endings seem to lack in real life or are too isolated and extraordinary.

 

A friend of mine in a similar situation keeps asking me almost daily lately if this is going to end because she's asking all around the people at the doctor and she finds no hope,keeps thinking if when she doesn't take any meds will depression return in full?


Edited by JanCarol, 05 August 2016 - 09:21 AM.
white space

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#55 Delia

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Posted 26 April 2016 - 07:10 AM

I don't know any more how to handle anxiety and I am thinking once in a while of returning to Escitalopram. I am not entirely determined, but only thinking of anything that could help me except for benzodiazepines.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#56 Delia

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 04:48 AM

Again I find myself in doubt about what to do. I am newly thinking not to take any Escitalopram at all,but to raise the dose of Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to help me against fear and anguish.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#57 savinggrace

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Posted 29 April 2016 - 09:28 AM

Hi Delia,

 

Just checking in to see how you are doing?

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#58 Altostrata

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Posted 30 April 2016 - 11:11 AM

Delia, it is absolutely essential that you stop changing your drugs and dosing. You may be causing your symptoms.

 

Exactly what are you taking now, and at what times of day?

 

Please keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, your drug dosages, and when you take your drugs. This is important.

 

I am going to speak plainly: Your job is too stressful for you. It may be a good job for someone else, but it is not a good job for you. Do not feel bad about this. You need to take stock of your strengths and find another job.

 

Any job that requires you to take drugs in order to bear it is not the right job for you.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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#59 savinggrace

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Posted 30 April 2016 - 04:51 PM

Delia,

 

I am so sorry that you are suffering so much.  I know it only adds to the suffering to hear the reality and come to grips with it.  What Alto says is all too true.

 

I am 61 years old.  My husband and both agree that if we could go back 30 plus years, and we knew then what we know now, we would have taken really difficult steps (giving up my career; finding a less stressful job and/or not working at all) and taking the time and making the changes we needed to make so that I could be well in the long-term.  As it is, I got further and further into this psychiatric drug mess and it has RUINED OUR LIVES!)  If you think you can't afford a less stressful job, I assure you that this has cost us literally more in medical bills and premature retirement for both of us than had I not allowed myself to get so sick by not working at all.

 

My career was extremely stressful, and though I was really good at it, I just was not made for the stress.  (kindergarten teacher, sounds easy, right?  Try keeping the attention of 28 kids and teaching them to read/write!)  The point is, I loved my career, I wanted my career, but we were not a good match.  Sure, on the outside we were, but it took its toll on me mentally and physically.  I ended up on this horrid cocktail of drugs during my last year when I was hanging by a thread.  I had to retire at 48 and 13 years later, I am sicker than ever.  I wasn't even aware then that the drugs had ravaged my body and brain when I quit working.  I was just too sick to work.  Now, I look back with such clarity...

 

Have you explored if your place of work has short term disability to cover the time that you need to look for a less stressful job and get a bit more stable?  Legally, you cannot be discriminated against because of mental illness.

 

Thank you for the encouragement, Grace. I would gave my young age with a low mood to an even very old age in good shape of mind
I guess I would give my years for older ones in any mood, as long as life is about to end finally.

You wrote this just 8 days ago.  I was worried about you then, and I am concerned now.  Think ahead, Delia, to the many years ahead of you.  Try to enlist the support of someone you trust to help you do what you need to do now.  More drugs are not the answer.  I guarantee you changing drugs and/or increasing doses will only lead you further down the path that made you make the statement above.

 

This is not going to be easy.  Nothing important to one's life and well-being is ever easy.  This may be the hardest thing you ever have to do in your life, and at the same time, it might be the most important...

 

I am very sorry that this is so hard to accept.  If only I had accepted it 20 years ago.  Oh, how wonderful my life might be right now if someone had been so honest with me...

 

I don't know what your resources are. I know this is just one piece.  I know you need money to live. I know you want to hear what to do at this moment.  At this moment, I would say take it one day/ one hour/ one minute at a time.  I hope you have some family to turn to. Now is the time to lean on them. 

 

I think using this forum for support will help you if you allow the people here to do so.

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#60 Delia

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 12:18 AM

Hello, Alto, Grace. I feel grateful once again for your support. I started work the past Monday and it is indeed stressful to me, I told my boss to search for somebody else that I will stay until will they find, but she told me to keep strong because I have my qualities and she doesn't want to look for anybody else.

 

I haven't succeded to get rid of the anxiety, yesterday was the first day I felt good and even helped around the house which made me feel content. As you will see in the signature, I decided to up the Risperidone to 2 ml and the Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to cope with everything and I am taking 1 mg of Clonazepam every third day ( at work ).

 

I decided that because I realised that my anxiety had been caused by the lack of Escitalopram, so I might need this year to calm down my brain without Escitalopram.

 

As soon as I feel more stable, only then I will slowly reduce the Risperidone, thinking to keep Mirtazapine as the last resort.

 

My doctor is on medicating side, so I always need to do this by myself.

 

I started to feel better after upping these doses and the extreme fear hided somewhere, I function better, but I still need Clonazepam at work. I coped badly with anxiety even at home, felt like screaming and praying to end, I couldn't even pray well as I was feeling it mentally and physically. I used Xanax for three days at home before deciding to up the doses of the regular meds. I intend not to use Xanax again if the warm feeling comes back while at home.But at work my mind seems to perceive the environment as stressful even when nobody is around for hours. I fight as I can. 

 

It is important for me to have a job in order to feel useful, which is silly, but I really wanted to end this when I told my boss. Her answer and attitude were very warm and understanding, saying she understands, but she thinks I can because I have appropriate qualities for the job. 

 

I can handle in life without a job because I have a state facility if I don't have a job, due to my "mental illness" recorded from the teen years, I have my parents and I also have a good friend who is a benefactor that always helped me with or without a job. But i gave in when my boss talked so attentively. Even when she hired me she knew about my problem and still did it, as she is very open-minded. 


Edited by JanCarol, 05 August 2016 - 09:29 AM.
white space, dosage changes in blue

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#61 Delia

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 12:28 AM

I know I am making the wrong choice keeping this job. I am just waiting a little bit longer. Your advice has full meaning and is constantly on my mind, I believe in your words and I foresee what you mean when you intend to say how life could be better if I gave myself time to heal. I just don't know how to proceed any more, to get that courage to refuse and not feel bad about disappointing others and I am doing the best I can for the moment.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#62 Delia

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 01:29 AM

I have to recognize that if it hadn't been for this return to work, I wouldn't have upped the doses of the meds, in spite of all pain. I would have give myself time to heal until the next cut. Only that in those conditions I couldn't work, therefore this decision.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#63 mammaP

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 01:44 AM

Delia, you upped the doses because of what the drugs have done to your brain. You take clonazepam to help at work, but you are in danger of becoming addicted to benzos. You took XANAX for 3 days before upping your doses, another drug which is highly addictive. You will gradually build tolerance and need more to get the same effect and then it will start to CAUSE  more anxiety.  If you work alone, can you make your surroundings more pleasant to work in? 

When you start to feel anxious, can you relax, close your eyes, take some deep breaths and concentrate on your body. Relax your muscles and calm your brain. Just a few minutes of controlled breathing can work wonders. 

 

Try to think about the things you love about your job and focus on that. When you are doing what you love, concentrate on that and that alone. ( if it's possible ).

 

Your boss doesn't want to lose you, but you are more important than she is right now! 


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

See how to create a signature here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Many drugs for many years, prescribed diazepam first 1973, took occasionally. 3 or 4 tricyclics  for short periods.

1993 had a breakdown leading to 10 years of drug experiments with all classes of psych drugs.

2002  effexor. 

Tapered by counting beads from March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

 

Also tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg -hold- Feb2016 46mg  March 8 2016 45 April 44mg  May 11  43mg June 14 42mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, pro biotic.

 

My story http://survivinganti...king-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

Following every sunset is a brand new day


#64 mammaP

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 01:46 AM

The updose seems to have helped and that is good, you would be best to hold those doses for a month now to let your brain adjust. 


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

See how to create a signature here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Many drugs for many years, prescribed diazepam first 1973, took occasionally. 3 or 4 tricyclics  for short periods.

1993 had a breakdown leading to 10 years of drug experiments with all classes of psych drugs.

2002  effexor. 

Tapered by counting beads from March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

 

Also tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg -hold- Feb2016 46mg  March 8 2016 45 April 44mg  May 11  43mg June 14 42mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, pro biotic.

 

My story http://survivinganti...king-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

Following every sunset is a brand new day


#65 Delia

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 03:09 AM

Yes, I am sometimes alone at my office, but I am continuosly supervised by a video camera which since it appeared bothers me tremendously, especially since I heard that some of the colleagues in the other shifts are following me in my shift. It is terribly upsetting. I find myself so empty and without the inner power to search deep enough in order to find a piece of silence and peace that I could make grow into myself while at work. If I want to pray, I can't focus. I still am anxious, even with the Clonazepam, I am even a bit upset, but stronger to do my job, that's why I kept it. I don't mind the others that much, I don't feel harmed by the outer world, except by myself.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#66 savinggrace

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Posted 01 May 2016 - 05:08 PM

Delia,

 

Maybe you can start exploring your options for a different job while you continue with this job.  Nobody needs to know you are doing so.  

 

I would try not to take the clonazepam, or take as little as possible.  Did you know mirtazapine is more sedating at low doses?  For example, I take 4 mg.  I had trouble sleeping on 7.5.

 

Most importantly, try not to change anything more.  Try to be consistent.  Your brain needs to catch up to all the changes you have made.  You need to get stable on your doses.  

 

Maybe you can make yourself a half-caf for coffee?  I know this was one of my strategies when I was trying to quit.  Sometimes I would make it and just take a few sips but enjoy the smell.  It is very stimulating to a brain that is already over-excited.  Remember, I have been on this journey...I know how difficult this is, but it is probably one change that you could make the easiest.

 

Hope you start to feel calmer really soon.

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#67 Delia

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 01:47 AM

Hello. I waited for the changes to happen, at least to feel a bit calmer, but it seems to be more serious than that because my anxiety has gotten much worse. I am on the edge in such a manner that I cannot gather my thoughts, I cannot function in my spare time at all, I get angry easily and do nothing, have fear and tension in my arms and back neck. I am amazed at how the medication stopped working even after having upped the doses. I am going to forsake coffee once again,as I am desperate not to get to hospital, that tough it is right now. I hope it works, but I am not sure any more. I stopped taking any supplements a month ago, and I am thinking if that could be a reason for the never ending anxiety. I used to handle better even at lower doses of the meds. I became impossible in present, even for those around me, it is very painful to realize how bad I behave. The doctor wasn't at work today, I will have to wait until Monday, if by then I don't change my mind about consulting. Yesterday I thought I was literally going nuts, it usually is rough the second day after work, as I miss the night doses and take them the second day at home, but I haven't felt such panic and stress like yesterday since I don't even remember.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#68 Delia

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 01:55 AM

It is true, Grace, the Mirtazapine makes me sleep worse at 7,5 mg. I used to sleep better at 3,75 mg.

 

I don't want to up doses of the meds once again if the doctor says so and I also don't want another med added. Still I feel awful and fear I can handle my situation without additions only if I gave up the job.To me, situations that for the "normal" people are pretty natural to do without rumination and scars, such as letting someone down or giving up a job, seem tragedies and leave trace inside myself.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#69 Delia

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 06:11 AM

I decided to wait another month to seeing how I will be, asta I am convinced my brain needs to heal after missing the Escitalopram. In the meantime I am starting tonight an additional treatment with herbs from a naturopath who is aware of my chemical medication and has a wide percent of successful treatments,prepared especially for the patient's needs.The bright side is that I have faith to heal.

 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 


#70 savinggrace

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 10:10 AM

Delia,

 

Pay very close attention to your symptoms as you try any new herbal therapies.

 

One cup of licorice tea had me up all night; I had the same experience w/ any number of other herbs.

 

However, we are all different so maybe the herbs will indeed help.

 

Grace


amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent use of benzos.  Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2002-2010.  Dropped ambien in 2011 w/ updose of klonopin and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg.  Micro-tapering valium from 2011-2015.  Had to hold so started tapering trileptal.  cut 75 mg. in the last year and holding at 12.84 valium, 4 remeron and 219 trileptal. Began holding on all drugs May 30 2016 - ?


#71 Brandy

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Posted 09 May 2016 - 10:03 PM

Hello. I waited for the changes to happen, at least to feel a bit calmer, but it seems to be more serious than that because my anxiety has gotten much worse. I am on the edge in such a manner that I cannot gather my thoughts, I cannot function in my spare time at all, I get angry easily and do nothing, have fear and tension in my arms and back neck. I am amazed at how the medication stopped working even after having upped the doses.

 

...

 

Delia, I've been hesitant to offer you advice because I'm not familiar enough with many of the meds you've taken, and because I've been so busy I'm on SA only rarely now. But I do know a lot about benzodiazepines such as clonazepam, so I hope it won't upset you if I suggest that part of the difficulties you're having may be due to your many varied doses of clonazepam over time, and the recent update to your signature which says:

 

 

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. One cup of coffee a day.

 

I have never been clear whether your past sporadic uses of clonazepam might have caused you to become physically dependent on them (which can happen very quickly with some people, and even if you don't take it every day but take it regularly over time). My biggest concern is that if some of your symptoms are due to some degree of clonazepam withdrawal - or even if that isn't the case but your nervous system is highly sensitized due to withdrawal from other meds - that taking 1 mg. of clonazepam every three days (rather than taking your dose in equal amounts each day, and at about the same time each day) could be causing more withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety even if you feel some immediate relief soon after taking your dose.

I

mportant - if others more familiar with Delia's benzodiazepine history and with benzodiazepines disagree with my concern and suggestions, please post! I admit I'm a bit confused about how long and on what schedules and doses she has taken benzos in the past, and certainly do not want to cause her new problems.

 

I am NOT suggesting you increase your dose. What I'm suggesting is that you consider dividing your dose and taking one-third mg. every day and at about the same time each day. (We can advise you how to divide the dose evenly - I find using milk titration, when properly done with homogenized milk, works best. Other people here have found other ways to divide pills, though I tried last fall switching from milk to water as a diluent since I'm not tapering at this time, and within a few months I found I had developed neurological problems that are better now that I've gone back to using milk again.)

 

Let me explain my reasons why I'm concerned about skipping days, if I'm correct that that is what you're doing. The reason is that we can't just consider the immediate (desirable) effects of a medication like clonazepam where effects are felt fairly quickly. (Sometimes very quickly.) It still stays in our bodies for some time, and it can cause bad symptoms if the levels in our body rise and fall too much and too often.

 

I don't like advising anyone to take a benzo like clonazepam regularly, but it appears you are taking it regularly, just not every day. It's best to use a benzo (if one uses it at all) only very occasionally to avoid dependence. I repeat, I'm really not clear whether your body has already become dependent on it from past use. Some people get physically dependent on it quite quickly (within even just a few weeks), other people it takes much longer to occur. But if you are dependent on it from past use, you still need to take it if you are in withdrawal from another med. But in that case your body might need to take the same dose each day to avoid small withdrawals over the three days between doses. As I mentioned, having a fairly large amount (1 mg.) at one time, then none for three days, causes big fluctuations of levels in your bloodstream like a roller-coaster.

 

I hope that others here with a lot of experience with benzodiazepines will offer their input. I'm here so rarely I don't know if Rhi or Schuyler (Skyler?) or GiaK are active here at this time or not, but if anyone is in touch with them please ask them to read my post and offer input. (Forgive me if I left out any other benzo experts, but I know they give excellent advice.)

 

In the meantime, Delia, I hope you are keeping notes on each medication and supplement dose you take, noting the time you take it and the size of the dose. Please also note significant changes in symptoms and the time you feel those changes. Over time you may see patterns that can be helpful. (Only consider when there is a consistent correlation between changes in symptoms and when a med or supplement is taken. That takes time, but unless pretty consistent, changes in symptoms (good or bad) can be coincidence when one is in withdrawal. Please avoid making any sudden changes in your medication dosages or schedule. Unfortunately, our bodies don't like lots of changes. Changes should be carefully considered.


I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivinganti...nyone/?p=110343


#72 Delia

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Posted 10 May 2016 - 04:11 AM

Hello, Grace, Brandy. The herbs I am using are only for relaxation and I was assured they won't cause extra burden. I take hot baths with oregano infusion and thyme tincture and I am drinking a herbal tea that contains veronica etc and tinctures with valerian and other herbs, all to induce calm. It helps a bit. Beside the relaxing herbs and Passiflora, I am only using Aloe.

 

About the Clonazepam, I am only making a two days break between the 1 mg doses, but even if it helped with anxiety in the off days taking some Clonazepam, I would still prefer to endure and take it only at work as I know having that entire dose helps me cope. Less every day would cause a habit and a loss in the effect I'm searching for to cope at my job.

Nevertheless, I would like a lot to know your opinions about better options. The spare time is really difficult to spend without a stimulant. I am still glad the herbs I am taking help me some. I do write down all I take, even the Passiflora. I really don't know if I am addicted to Clonazepam because I don't yearn for it in my spare time, only when I am at work I feel a great need to take it because I perceive the stress all around and feel fearful and uncomfortable.


 

 1999-Zyprexa 5 mg, then 10 mg until 2013,little Haldol for short;Zyprexa with on and off periods, horrid withdrawal and back on,sometimes added Escitalopram(Cipralex)20 mg;2013-Risperidone 3ml,Depakine 300 mg,Escitalopram 20 mg,Levomepromazine 1 mg;at need Clonazepam(Rivotril) 0,5 mg;october 2014-2015 Risperidone 3ml,Mirtazapine-7,5 mg,Escitalopram-20 mg;2015-Risperidone 2 ml,Mirtazapine-3,75 mg, Escitalopram- tapered during the year;

may 2015(started work)-added Clonazepam 0,5 mg every third day;december 2015-Risperidone 1,5 ml,Mirtazapine 3,75,Escitalopram 5 mg;Clonazepam-increased dosage to 2 mg;

December 2015 until January 2016 added Carbamazepine 600 mg and gave up Clonazepam until March 2016-Risperidone 1,35 ml, Mirtazapine 3,75 every second and third day(schedule of tapering),Escitalopram-0mg,Clonazepam for a week every third day, then reintroduced Carbamazepine 400 mg for a week, then stopped Carbamazepine.

Since the beginning of april 2016 taking Risperidone 1,30 ml, Mirtazapine 0 mg for five days, 1,87 mg for two days, then turned to 3,75 mg every night, Clonazepam 0,5 mg .

April 27 - upped Risperidone to 2 ml and Mirtazapine to 7,5 mg to bear with the lack of Escitalopram that caused huge anxiety, Clonazepam 1 mg every third day. May to November 2016: Risperidone 1,50 ml(tapering from 2ml, started the taper may 2016); Mirtazapine:3,75 mg(tapered from 7,5 mg, started the taper may 2016); Clonazepam 0 mg(started the taper from 0,33 mg daily).January 2017: Risperidone 1,40 ml(tapering every 4 weeks); Mirtazapine 3,75 mg(tapering to 1,87 mg), Clonazepam(10 days): 0,5mg-0,5mg-1 mg. even 4 mg/day sometimes.January 19: added 200 mg Carbamazepine/day( not sure to keep this), off Clonazepam.

Supplements: Omega 3,Magnesium,D,B1, B3, B6, B12, Folic Acid.

 






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: escitalopram, PAWS, polydrug, fast switch, carbemazepine, clonazepam, alprazolam, mirtazapine, cold turkey, irregular dose