mFrustrated

mFrustrated: Need insight - Zoloft withdrawal

94 posts in this topic

Hi Coop-

 

So what are you taking now?  Just the 25 Zoloft?  Weird intrusive thoughts are definitely a w/d occurance.  Give us more details please.

 

Prayers,

 

Steve

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Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate it so much. This whole thing is so strong and I just feel so helpless. Just when I think im doing better my mind will say no youre not and you are a terrible person etc. I try to fight the thoughts and im so tired.

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Coopergirl, same here. I've been dealing with it since March. You can read my story, but I had a terrible reaction to just a few pills. It's horrible. Hang in there. They say that with every wave, comes a window where we feel better.

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Coopergirl, I just found an app called mindshift that I'm going to try. Check it out. It helps with mindfulness and dealing with the stress and worry of anxiety.

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mFrustrated:  The brain and the rest of the central nervous system are connected to both the endocrine system (thyroid, adrenals, ovaries/testes, pituitary) and the immune system. Signals, hormones or transmitters, from one affect the others.

 

It's entirely possible that your monthly fluctuations of estrogen and progesterone have caused some new or worsened symptoms. Pretty much the only thing you can do is track the symptoms and the days of your cycle. After a while, you may see some relationship between symptoms and the hormonal shifts.  There's lots of good information online about when the female hormones go and down through the cycle.

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Thank you Scallywag. This wave has seemed more intense than before and has lasted over a week...more than waves before. I hoping it ends soon, and I can get relief. Nothing like feeing hopeless and no sign of feeling better in sight. My mind is still blown that it's been 5 months, I'm still struggling, and there is nothing I can do. How can doctors not know the impact these meds can make on people? I did not have these issues before meds. I just don't get how they don't know. It's so dangerous.

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Well guys, I'm a week away from starting my period and this month I've developed quite a bit of fatigue before my period. I can barely function and tonight had to come back to my room and just let my husband do bedtime with the kids. Caffine doesn't really help and I feel like I'm in such a fog. Not sure if this is a wave with new symptoms or what. I'd love to start seeing some improvements instead of feeling like I just keep developing new symptoms. Any words of encouragement or advice is welcomed. I'm so ready to feel like myself again.

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Is there anyone that felt like they started seeing improvements after being 6th months out from having a bad reaction to meds? I thought I was doing much better after 3 months off, but the past 2 months have been rough. Trying to be positive, but I'm really struggling. The end of August makes 6 months after trying 3 different SSRIs. Does anyone find being busy helps in the healing process? I'm a teacher and have been home or traveling all summer, but I've found when I'm trying to relax the intrusive thoughts are worse. I do so much better doing the school year. I'd love some feedback...

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Anxiety is through the roof today and has been the past few days. Just finished an antibiotic, Keflex, for an infection under my arm. Wondering if it was the cause of my increased physical and mental symptoms. I also doubled my probiotic intake bc I was on the antibiotic. I've read so many feeds this week on here with people still really bad off 2 years after meds. I'm not feeling very hopeful today. Thankful for Farout, as she is the only encouragement I've received and seems to be the only story I've read on here of someone who has recovered. Don't understand how I was feeling so much better in May and all of the sudden June and July were horrible...August doesn't seem to be any better. When will I experience a positive window again? ????

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Sorry things have been tough for you lately. It's good that you can remember windows do exist.

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Thanks Scallywag. I know I sound so pitiful, just really would love a break from all of this. I wish knew why I've seemed to go backwards all summer and not forward like I was. I hate reading about people that are 2 years out and haven't made progress. It makes my anxiety worse. How it is possible? I've read about people that have it way worse than me, so I'm thankful but also just want out of the madness in my head.

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I'd love for someone to share info with me on severe reactions to meds. I'm really struggling with why I saw improvement and now I'm not at all. I'm about 5 months in and I'm miserable...symptoms include jitters, insomnia, lots of intrusive thoughts and panic emotions.

Edited by JanCarol
Moved from Self Care forum, personal question

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Hi Frustrated,

 

Although I rarely come onto this forum I do get email notifications for a few different threads and saw your comment in one and just wanted to give you some reassurance.

I'm over 2 years free from antidepressants after taking them for 15 years!!  Although I still have some residual side effects such as poor stress tolerance,  I'm improving with each day and feel 80% back to normal ( I would say my usual self but was on the drugs for so long, I don't actually remember what my usual self was)  so please be reassured that it does get better. 

Hang in there. 

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Hello there. I'm not totally off of meds yet ~ but have to say after a crazy couple of years with cold turkeys & rapid tapering, I'm in a pretty good place. I credit the DARE response with help in dealing with thoughts and physical sensations. Very helpful. I highly recommend the book. The author also has some great recordings to help you face the anxiety. Anyway, always support your body with good nutrition as well. Hang in there. It will get better!! ????

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Thanks everyone for your support. I talked to my chiropractor (holistic wellness Doctor as well...Maximized Living Doctor for those of you in the US) and he really thinks the antibiotic I was on probably impacted me a lot. I've taken 2 this summer, so it's possible. He gave me some good probiotics to help my gut, and I've dropped caffine/sugar this week...basically eating clean. He wants me to try a detox that I did back in the spring, but I'm being very cautious because it didn't sit well with me in the spring...and he knows that.

 

I also thinks reading horror stories from people who also had a bad reaction to antidepressants and sitting around my house with my 2 small children hasn't helped the what ifs and the ocd like thoughts. I really struggle with the what ifs of "what if I never get better and end up disabled like these people that haven't recovered." This is where I am at the moment...I keep telling myself that surely can't go backwards...especially with the chiropractic care/wholistic eating/care.

 

Today we took coffee to some of my teacher friends already in school and ran a few errands. I don't feel nearly as bad today as I did yesterday. It's really helpful to get out of the house, and I think it helped a lot with my healing back in the spring when I was out the house every day. I hope going back to the classroom in a few weeks helps get me back to where I was. Looking forward to being healed more and enjoying each day...not dreading them.

 

I really appreciate the encouragement from everyone. I didn't mean to sound "woe is me...," but it sure is how I fet yesterday.

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Yes, many have reactions to antibiotics that seem to exacerbate the nervous system upset from psychiatric drugs.

 

You will slowly improve in the waves and windows pattern. Are you taking fish oil and magnesium?

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Alto, thanks for taking the time respond. I am taking omega 3's, but can't do the magnesium. It's too much for me...I do take Epsom salt baths when I can.

 

I'm also noticing my issues seem to be very OCD like...so I've done some reading on CBT and OCD therapy. Today was better in that I was able to enjoy my family despite the intrusive thoughts. I'll take a better day even if it's not an anxiety free day.

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Alto, thanks for taking the time respond. I am taking omega 3's, but can't do the magnesium. It's too much for me...I do take Epsom salt baths when I can.

 

I'm also noticing my issues seem to be very OCD like...so I've done some reading on CBT and OCD therapy. Today was better in that I was able to enjoy my family despite the intrusive thoughts. I'll take a better day even if it's not an anxiety free day.

 

Hi Mf just came across your thread, I had mild ocd then I took lexapro and it made it way worse then effexor which stabilised me, but it turned me into a zombie, so I am off all meds a year, and the symptoms come and go.I have good days bad days, but I wouldnt go near any of those meds again. Mindfulness meditation and cbt helped with intrusive thoughts for me.

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Hey mFrustrated, how are you going?

 

did you do another detox with your Maximized Living Doctor?  (detoxes are scary in withdrawal)  I went looking for Maximized Living, and I'm wondering why you've chosen this protocol?  I'm wondering if this chiro is really serving your needs?

 

It's hideous that the pills are handed out so casually, and yet the docs don't have a clue about the 10% of the population who cannot even metabolize them (the genetic mutation thing) - not to mention the 50% (or more) that they don't work for.  And that last statistic isn't really known, because how many of those who get better on the drugs - would've gotten better anyway?  Plus, it's short term.

 

I saw one study which compared standing on earth and grass for 5 minutes a day to be as effective as antidepressants.  Another study which showed that 10-15 minutes of sunshine per day - as effective as antidepressants.  Same with talk therapy, CBT, prayer, exercise - these things are the way to get well.

 

All doctors should take the drugs for 3 weeks, then quit CT, before they are allowed to prescribe them.   Sorry for the rant.  I'm just checking in with you to see how you are going.

 

What does your day look like?  Maybe there are still some stressors you could work on, to help your healing?  Are you sleeping?  Eating wheat & dairy?  Do you take cholesterol drugs or stomach-acid (PPI) drugs?  Are you able to stop - in a moment - and appreciate the feeling that you are alive, the miracle that is this life?

 

If you visit, could you please put update your signature to put the dates of your doses?  They just have "total days taken," but now it's been several months, and we'd like to see at a glance, how long it's been without looking up your initial posts.  Just the month and year would be fine, thank you.

 

I'm hoping that your absence means you've been having a window, feeling better, and engaging with your family in a positive way.  Either way, please let us know how you are going?

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Hi JanCarol. Thanks for checking in on me. I've been doing pretty well. I decided to take a break from the forum for a while bc reading stories of other people who have had bad reactions like me and haven't recovered after a few years was super discouraging for me. Farout has really encouraged me and she and I connected through email...which has been helpful. I was coming to the site to read encouraging posts and would find myself reading old posts from people who are just miserable...I think it actually made the anxiety worse for me too. I'm a teacher and school has started back, so being back in the classroom has helped me a lot. When I'm at school, I'm able to focus on my job and most of the time forget about this horrible experience I've had. When I'm home with my family or not at school, I do think about what I'm going through and find it hard to relax. It seems to be getting better again, so I'm starting to enjoy life again. The summer was rough I think for many reasons...I took 2 antibiotics, tried BuSpar, and ate horrible bc we were traveling a lot. Also, I have 2 kids under 5...so that's naturally stressful as it is. I was home with them everyday with no plans, and I'm a planner and someone who thrives off of interaction with people...so everything just built up.

 

As far as Max Living...my sister in law works for the doctor we see. She has chrones disease and was on 15 meds when she started seeing our Doctor a few years ago. She is now med free and rarely has issues with her chrones. I've always seen a Chiro for aches and pains, so when we started going to him I wasn't completely on board with their practices, but certainly agreed with some of the things he does. The more we go to the office and the more time we spend with Doctor Livingood (that really is his name...ha), the more I know that he genuinely cares about what I'm dealing with. He knows my full story and has been super supportive in helping me recover. He 100% agrees that this medicine can be super dangerous and has created this mess for me. He does however believe that this stuff can build up in our cells and that's why the detoxes are so hard for me. Looking back, I agree with him. Although the month that I did the detox was terrible, I felt so much better the next month. I haven't done any other detoxes since April, he agrees that my system can't handle it right now. Instead I've focused on clean eating (advance and core plans...these are max living diets)...basically no dairy or white grains...we do grass fed meats and organic foods as much as possible. We stay away from processed foods and chemically altered foods. When I feel waves coming on, I stay away from caffine and when I can, I exercise. My sleep has increased significantly, I only struggle with sleep a little the week before my period and sleep most nights through the night otherwise. The buzzing in my head has completely diminished, headaches are gone, my period is actually more regular than it's ever been, and my digestive issues are way better as well. My only issues now are the depressive/OCD/intrusive thoughts, some depersonalization, and feeling hopeless occasionally...all of which come and go throughout my weeks... I feel like I'm healing, slowly, but surely. I've also learned a lot about the dangers of medication in general. Everything makes so much sense with max living now that I've been through this ssri hell.

 

The idea that our spines connect to our nervous system and any bone that is out of place can hinder our nervous system from working the way it should or healing in my case, just makes sense. I know this board isn't a place for promoting anything, so I'll stop...but long story short, it has helped me a lot.

 

Between Dr L and this site, I am so grateful for the knowledge I have gained this year. I soooo pray that one day I will be back to my normal self and all of this will just be a story to tell. It's been a roller coaster of a year, that's for sure!

 

Thank you so much for checking on me! I hope this post encourages someone who is in my shoes...waves and Windows, but your nervous system will heal! Mine is!

 

Ps-I'll work on my signature. Sorry for the long post, but wanted to share.

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In a bit of a wave currently...just posting to document my healing process. Digestive issues, weird headaches, physical anxiousness and just feeling blah. New symptoms...weird shooting pain in head with swift movement and difficulty seeing to drive at night (hope that one passes soon). Anyone had those symptoms before? I'm assuming the issue is from this recovery process and nothing else...

 

I've eaten terrible over the past few weeks and just had my period. Wave doesn't seem as intense as it was a month ago. Thankful for the window I just had and the support of my family. Here's to a new window coming soon, I hope!

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JanCarol, I'm curious to know why you wonder if the Max Living protocols are the right treatment for dealing with what I'm going through?

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Just checking in to document my progress, or what seems like lack of. Had a small wave in Oct and it didn't last but a week or so. It was followed by an ear infection for my daughter and a small cold for me. Probably some connection there. Currently in one now that seems as bad as when all of this all first started. Terrible intrusive thoughts, feeling like I just can't keep going and that I'll never heal. Just frustrating. Wishing for the days when I feel like myself again and wondering when all of this will end. I miss my productive, never anxious self. I'm coming up on 10 months since I took meds that basically were like poison to my body. This is such a nightmare. Just feeling so discouraged.

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Although it's hard to remember when we're in a wave and feeling discouraged, waves come AND they go. Hoping you see the end of this one soon.

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Thanks Scallywag. These waves really are a bummer. I'm in a really stressful season at work, have been eating terrible, I'm fighting a head cold, my stomach has been a mess, and I'm not resting enough. I wonder if it's causing this wave to be worse. I've read through Farout's feed a few times and my story is very similar to her's. Gastro issues were a problem for me before all of this, so I'm just thinking I'm gonna have to suck it up and do the best I can until this wave passes. My husband is aware and is so supportive. I just hate that it's the holiday season and I'm not able to enjoy it. I'd love to see a long window soon. Sure would be a good Christmas present. ????

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You've listed a few things you can work on -- how/what you're eating, getting rest. There are probably ways to simplify the food you eat and have available while also improving its quality.

 

In demanding times, I make sure I have fruit and vegetables that are easy to eat and transport. I'll splurge a bit on things like the prepared cut veggie trays with dip, pre-cut stir-fry veg mixes, and the small-batch "homemade" soups from local cookeries that come in mason jars.

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Thanks for the reminder. I started back with watching what I eat today. I'm 8 days out from a long break from school (I teach) for the holidays. Hopefully the rest will help.

 

I'm curious to know why some waves seem worse than others. This one seems like such a low dip vs. smaller ones I've had in the past. The OCD anxiety and depersonalization seems as bad as it was in March when all of this started. I am still so shocked that I'm 9, almost 10 months out from the last pill I took, and I'm still having issues. Just mind blowing.

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My daughter came down with an ear infection this week. Makes so much sense why I've been in a wave. I am feeling much more like myself today. I'm thinking that I may be following the same pattern as farout.

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And today I'm right back down in a pit, struggling with major intrusive thoughts, anxiety, can't think clearly, and not sure I'll make it through the school day. Why is this such a roller coaster? There has to be answers and there has to be a way for me to recover. Feeling very down and hopeless today.

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I hear ya barking I have been feeling not great since September mostly bad days just hanging tough, I have depression and anxiety. Add the intrusive thoughts and worrying and its a real mixed bag of crap. Just taking one day at a time.

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Dowdaller, I'm so sorry you're struggling as well. I do not know your story, so I'll have to go back and read it. They say that with time, we will improve. I have a psych doctor telling me the same thing, but it would be nice to have a window soon. Here's to better days.

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Wave has backed off a little...crying and constant intrusive thoughts have subsided. Still struggling with some intrusive thoughts, I've had to stop caffeine/wine intake again, I'm easily stressed. I have 2 more days of school before Christmas break. I'm hoping the rest and hanging out with family will help. Feeling super panicky tonight after a long day with students. I have a weird headache in my temple, trying not to let the intrusive thoughts take over my worrying about it.

 

If anyone has a success story to share about someone recovering from having a bad reaction to meds, I'd love to hear it. I haven't been able to find any on the forum.

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Christmas break was a nice relief for me and anxiety began to subside. The wave seemed to be going away and then this week, I am really struggling with OCD like thoughts of not being able to make it, what if I can't get better and am stuck like this forever, what if I am depressed, what if I do hate life...none of it is true, but it sure is exhausting. Not sure why I am struggling so badly or why I'm not able to completely come out of the wave. Looking forward to a window and a break...February will mark a year since this nightmare began. I took my first pills (Started with celiac, then Paxil, then Zoloft all within a month) in feb of 2016. Praying tomorrow is a better day...

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My daughter came down with strep throat soon after my last post. As soon as she was on the up and up, I started feeling better. Seems to be a pattern for sure. Thankful for better days. I have been struggling with the residual intrusive thoughts, but I've been able to deal bc I've been dealing well emotionally. I have had some pretty bad depersonalization the past few days. I assume it's just another step towards recovery? Anyone with bad reactions dealt with it in their recovery process?

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Finding myself in a wave of intrusive thoughts about "not making it, not being able to go on in this condition, etc. again. There's certainly no pattern to any of this. Frustrating for sure, but thankful for a few weeks of feeling a lot more like myself before this wave. Hoping it subsides soon and hoping for more recovery in the future. This week marks a year since this terrible adventure began. ????

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Hoping, right along with you, that a big window follows.

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