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Where are all the success stories? Does nobody ever heal?


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  • Moderator Emeritus

I also agree that the brain has a big recovery capability. There's a term called "neuroplasticity" that describes how the brain can heal from many forms of trauma and damage. 

 

Dr. Norman Doidge has been writing and lecturing about it. This is an interesting video about it: 

 

Dr Norman Doidge , The Brain That Changes Itself

 

He wrote a book called The Brain that Changes Itself and this is the PDF version:

 

The Brain that Changes Itself

 

There's a thread about Dr. Doidge here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8471-neuroplasticity-norman-doidge-md-interview/

 

So there's a lot of hope for us.  :)

 

 

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We will recover. One way or another. Shep is living proof. I know it for a fact.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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I think it is highly individual and  depends on a number of factors. Genetics, degree and type of damage which of course varies from person to person, damage by other drugs, age etc. There are people who recover in a couple of months and some that haven't recovered in fifteen years.  

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as for my own proof, i am severely damaged since 7 years off any med and know a few french damaged since 10 years now,

i know also personally  a few french in similar frame time damaged by benzodiazepines and they are the same

a few years ago i believed that  the brain has a big recovery capability with neuroplasticity, but with years, i slowly begin to doubt

 

we are still waiting neuroplasticity , even to function "normal", the question to be different is not actual for us

 

but i see some young who took short time and have fully recovered, why not neuroplasticity for all people, is neuroplasticity blocked for some?...

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

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I am six years off and still have big time sleep issues I have been unable to resolve that are severely affecting my life.   They started a year before I finished tapering and so far, I have been unable to make any progress.  

 

For lack of a better description, I call them narcoleptic like issues which David Healy agreed was a good description when I posted about it on his site.

 

Out of desperation, I have tried meds and light therapy to no avail.

 

I feel that being on meds long term damaged my sleep cycle big time.  I used to be optimistic that there would be improvement but I no longer feel that way.

 

I think icequeen and stan are right on target with their responses.  That doesn't mean that people starting out shouldn't feel hopeless as everyone is different.  In my own case, even though I tapered at the 10% method with the exception of Wellbutrin which I CTs without any problems, I wonder if I should have tapered even more slowly.   Maybe things would have different although it is obviously hard to say.

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I haven't experienced even a minute's break from severe dp/dr, so I do worry about the permanence of this state, especially since it greatly limits the type of work I can do and where I can afford to live. So these kinds of collateral damage issues all come into play, creating a form of depression that isn't directly caused by withdrawal but is the result of withdrawal. 

 

So taking care of healing the collateral damage in whatever way possible may help with the overall scope of damage. For me, that meant accepting that my profession was gone and my work would be different. That my home would be different. So there's a kind of "response mechanism" at play - even though this may not effect (or help) the healing process directly, it may effect our response to healing. And that can be profound in and of itself. 

 

When I "healed" my collateral damage depression with mindfulness and starting getting these "glimpses" of beautiful inner peace, it made my current work / living situation tolerable. So even though I didn't see one single ounce of improvement with dp/dr, I saw an overall improvement in my life that I hadn't seen in 30 years. Actually, it's something I've never experienced before. 

 

I do believe we can bring in these kinds of coping mechanisms and build on them. So there's this "compensatory" type of healing process that we might be able to use, especially since some of the damage might be quite pronounced and linger on for many years. 

 

That being said, almost all of my symptoms have been mental and having dealt with manic depression / schizo-affective disorder for 30 years, I came into this with a bit of prior work experience, so to speak. 

 

 

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Please see the new topic in the finding meaning section started by me.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello,

is there any general belief or scientific proof that once you start taking antidepressants you actually damage the brain and you can't recover form it once you stop?

I don't mean that you will never be OK again but that you actually change how your brain works and you will never be the same person again (if worse or better I don't know ;) )

 

My general belief is that one can always recover.  I don't think that there is scientific evidence of actual damage to the brain from AD's nor do I think that you can't recover.

 

I actually feel like a better version somehow of the same person I was some 30 years ago.  I'm not saying this to be conceited or full of self either.

 

Go slow zandro, or make up your mind as to which path you would like to follow.

 

Best wishes.

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Time can only tell. I know people over ten years off and still pretty damaged. I know for me the damage is pretty severe so full recovery seems unlikely - I have severe reactions, long time use and poop-out.....I know from how the brain is functioning, the total deadness of the frontal lobe etc that this is going to be an on going battle with maybe a life of depression and other disabling symptoms.

 

I have read about many people who have been on multiple drugs and come off and healed. It all depends on the individual.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Time can only tell. I know people over ten years off and still pretty damaged. I know for me the damage is pretty severe so full recovery seems unlikely - I have severe reactions, long time use and poop-out.....I know from how the brain is functioning, the total deadness of the frontal lobe etc that this is going to be an on going battle with maybe a life of depression and other disabling symptoms.

 

I have read about many people who have been on multiple drugs and come off and healed. It all depends on the individual.

How long have you been on ADs?

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I've been off 21 months

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Sorry - I was on the antidepressant for six years

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Read his thread when you have time. He spent 2015 in bad WD while working and improved slowly over the course of the year updating us along the way. I exchanged emails with him in January and he was even doing better. I consider him a success. Piscesrising is another. Uncomfortably Numb is back to work and also doing well. Angie07 I believe is also doing well I think. Just trying to help the cause. Not sure what the criteria is for a success story.

hi,

For me the criteria is the people concerned write their success story, not other people speak on their place, Angie never write her success, you cannot speak on her place, same as Numb , apparently he is a success, but a success has to be followed over years with many datas, not only speech without details, on web, all is not true, espescially on a forum with psychotropics brains altered, we have to be careful, it is not first time i see in success people who were in a window, write a success, then wave, and after years i meet the people, and learn they have several heavy problems, so careful, careful to not discover lies sometime spoken honestly by the writer, having enough to suffer and wanting to make an end on this while writing

do not forget on the forums, there are people who have been put on psychotropics because they have a mental illness, even i , you don't know if i have a mental illness if i don't tell you, if i am ashamed to write it

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

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If you know of people who have recovered but haven't posted their success stories here, please invite them to do so.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hey Stan,

 

I mean no hostility with this post. I know you are still suffering greatly, I have seen other posts by you and I am sorry for what you are going through. This is just my opinion but this part of the forum is really peoples place they come to for hope. I don't think reading something to the effect that people tapering or people in the midst of cold turkey withdrawal will never recover. I have been on Paxil for 11 years and in the process of tapering, that is an extensive amount of time to be on this drug. But I know I will get through this, I do not know what lies ahead with symptoms I am not fooling myself in thinking this will be a cakewalk. I have the hope though I will know a life without this drug in my body. Reading posts like yours though only give me a feeling of doubt and uncertainty that I will recover. I am not saying you are not warranted in what you are feeling, but I just don't think this is the appropriate place for posts like that. 

 

There are stories on here about people recovering though and doing OK with 5 year updates. I have talked to people not from this forum that have been on various psych drugs for an extensive amount of time and they are doing better after tapering. All I am saying is please don't take the stories of others and put them to the majority of people currently tapering or in withdrawal. I believe in the body's power to heal it was one of the first things told to me when I came to this site in disarray. I hope you are doing better and if you ever want to message me I would appreciate it, I think you have a vast amount of experience and I would like to talk to you.  

 

All the best,

Paxil 20-30mgs since 2004.

Three previous withdrawal attempts 2008,2012 and 2015 all cold turkey.

Reinstated 10mg February 20th 2016

3/20/16-9mg 4/5/16-8mg 5/5/16-7mg 5/25/16-6mg 6/25/16-5mg 8/7/16-updose to 6mg 9/7/16 5.5mg 10/10/16-5mg 11/10/16-4.5mg

One thing that helps me is to see your withdrawal process as your own personal journey. Do not internalize someone else's withdrawal as your own. 

  

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."  - Maya Angelou

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Just out of curiosity, how long have you had the severe DR/DP?

 

I haven't experienced even a minute's break from severe dp/dr, so I do worry about the permanence of this state, especially since it greatly limits the type of work I can do and where I can afford to live. So these kinds of collateral damage issues all come into play, creating a form of depression that isn't directly caused by withdrawal but is the result of withdrawal. 

 

So taking care of healing the collateral damage in whatever way possible may help with the overall scope of damage. For me, that meant accepting that my profession was gone and my work would be different. That my home would be different. So there's a kind of "response mechanism" at play - even though this may not effect (or help) the healing process directly, it may effect our response to healing. And that can be profound in and of itself. 

 

When I "healed" my collateral damage depression with mindfulness and starting getting these "glimpses" of beautiful inner peace, it made my current work / living situation tolerable. So even though I didn't see one single ounce of improvement with dp/dr, I saw an overall improvement in my life that I hadn't seen in 30 years. Actually, it's something I've never experienced before. 

 

I do believe we can bring in these kinds of coping mechanisms and build on them. So there's this "compensatory" type of healing process that we might be able to use, especially since some of the damage might be quite pronounced and linger on for many years. 

 

That being said, almost all of my symptoms have been mental and having dealt with manic depression / schizo-affective disorder for 30 years, I came into this with a bit of prior work experience, so to speak. 

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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Vigor,

 

I have a different take as one who is still suffering big time even after being off of meds 6 years.   I read Stan's post not as being negative but as simply pointing out that people mentioned as success stories by a poster haven't chimed in themselves and it was important to keep that in mind.

 

To address your other concerns about keeping negativity out of this forum, in my opinion, the stories of long term veterans like myself and Stan are just as important as the folks who are successful.   I have never tried to claim that just because I am still struggling, that is going to be everyone's fate and I don't think Stan has done that either.

 

Instead of telling us to go elsewhere, why not learn from our experience and see if there are any lessons that might be applicable to newcomers.   For example, in my own situation, I wonder if I would have done better with a microtaper vs. tapering 10% of current dose every 4 weeks.  It didn't seem like it at the same but I feel something happened being on these meds and getting off of them that severely disrupted by sleep cycle to the point.  Or maybe I was going to have these problems no matter what I did but my point is that instead of shutting down issues like this, we need to have an honest discussion.

 

Regarding posts like Stan giving you feelings of doubt, I don't feel that is Stan's fault as we all are responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

 

I also mean no hostility.

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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NoMeaning25, I've had problems with dp/dr off and on for 30 years, depending on the drug cocktail I was on. Unfortunately, it was misdiagnosed as being a part of schizo-affective disorder. When my diagnosis was changed to manic depression (bipolar type 1), I had an additional diagnosis added for schizoid personality disorder. 

 

I've had dp/dr at an extreme level for over 3 years now, starting when I came off my last SSRI cold turkey in 2013 and then after a rapid taper from benzos in 2014, I went into almost a complete shut down from dp/dr. I've been trapped inside my head ever since. 

 

But this week, I started getting these "glimpses" of it leaving.

 

And I now know that it wasn't any of those prior misdiagnosis - it was dp/dr and it was caused by the very drugs being used to treat it.

 

I'm exploring dp/dr in my Intro thread (link is in my signature), since it's my worst symptom. 

 

 

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Man this topic scares me....I started crying.....I don't wanna think this will never end....I will not be able to survive in this ***** state of nothing.god help me

Edited by JanCarol
language

3 weeks on haloperidol

1.5 months on seroquel

1.5 months on triftazin or so I cant rember very good.That was the medication last year in the beggining of 2016 then I left cols turkey then after a year again on risperdal 1 month on 4 mg then 2 months on 2 mg at the day and wanna quit cold turkey

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Thanks for the response - Ive had extremely severe DR DP with no let up for 4 years so i know exactly how you feel - Its my worst symptom too and i think its been chronic becasue of the emotional abuse ive had to endure for 3.5 years. Ill read your intro. Good news that you have had glimpses of it getting better. Gives me a lot of hope

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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Hi my first post, phil here from n.ireland. I was put on SSRIs when I was 17 started on citalipram then onto Prozac and finally sertraline, when I found out about the damage they can cause I tapered myself off them, I'm clean now about 8 months and I am still a mess, my stress tolerance is very low and I'm either depressed or on level ground, I never feel happy or excited about anything I've tried green tea chamomile 5htp valerian etc. I have 3 young kids and am afraid of having an impact on there life, I'm hoping I haven't done permanent damage but atm it's not looking good

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Phil, 8 months is still early into the recovery period, hard as it may be to believe.  It takes time for your CNS (central nervous system) to adjust to the absence of an SSRI. People experience waves of symptoms and windows of symptom-free time during acute withdrawal and thereafter. For most, the waves become shorter and less frequent and the windows stronger -- more "normal" -- and longer. 

 

Please consider starting a topic for yourself in the Introductions Forum so that you can get answers to questions about your situation.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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I am struck by the title of this topic. Because you "believe in" something, does it exist?

 

Not always, but in this case, because these symptoms affect your nervous system, and your nervous system is also affected by your thoughts, opinions, prejudices, feelings, etc., believing that you are going to have "chronic" problems is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

(To medical personnel, "chronic" means lasting more than 6 months, not "permanent.")

 

It's best for your nervous system to have positive expectations for healing and to assess your symptoms very realistically and not through a pessimistic lens, which tends to make make problems even bigger and more distressing.

 

This is not to say some people can have significant symptoms for a very long time -- they do. But whether that will be you in the future, no one can say unless they can foretell the future. (If you can do this, please contact me, we could make a lot of money together.)

 

Don't hurt yourself by writing your future with an expectation of doom. We encourage people to maintain an attitude of taking care of yourself the best you can and recognize your improvements instead of adding grief and self-recrimination to your injuries.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Time will only tell whether the damage is permanent or not.

I hope not. Wait and see.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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I'm taking zyprexa, which is an anti-psychotic. I've read here from a member that they cause brain damage - shrinking part of the brain & are considered a chemical lobotomy. I hope that is not true. I certainly have had memory problems while taking this drug and I used to be more clear in the way I expressed myself. I was more articulate before and less scattered. I don't know if this will go away after I am done with this medicine or not.

Medicine History

June 2011 I was put on 10 mg Olanzapine. I stayed on that for 7 months then went down to 5 mg for 3 months and then went down to 2.5mg and slowly went down to less than .3 every few days. I have tried to come off 4 times, each time getting down to less than .3 before having to go back on at 5mg or 2.5mg. I would cut by 50% each taper. From Jan 2015 to June 2015 I reduced from about 5mg to .3 mg. This last time I went on 2.5 mg last June 2015 until July 2, 2016. July 3, 2016 I went down to 1.25mg - withdrawal hit. Up dosed to liquid 2 mg July 23, 2016.

Medicine Current

2 mg Olanzapine as of July 23, 2016

Supplements

Omega 3 1000mg, Vitamin E 400 UI, Vitamin C 1000 mg Time Released, 200 mg Magnesium Bisglycinate, Multi Probiotic, .25 mg melatonin for 3-5 days as needed

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I'm with Altostrata, I dislike threads like this because they're inherently negative and sow seeds of doubt in everybody's minds. My hunch is that there is no such thing as permanent damage. Look at the number of people who have severe brain trauma/stroke and who go on to make a full recovery. The brain has remarkable powers of recovery. I would have been the first to have been extremely pessimistic about the prognosis for someone who has taken SSRIs for a considerable length of time , this was primarily caused by my own reactions to a drastic 50 % cut in my dosage. I would jump down people's throats for no reason, jump out of my skin at the least stimulation/sound etc on this large cut and basically just be a non functional mess. Now I'm Cutting gradually via the 10% method, I'm invariably more mellow, not jumping at people, not depressed and my nervous system isn't on a knife edge the whole time. I seem to be only experiencing windows and next to no waves, is this even possible I ask? I've only made my second cut last Saturday and I realise there is a long way to go but I can only assume that my system is healing even at this stage.

May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

 

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.

March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.

23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg

23.07.16 40.5mg 23.08.16 36.45mg 27.09.16 34.65mg 24.10.16 32.90mg 28.11.16 31.26mg 04.01.17 32mg 25.02.17 31mg 22.03.17 30mg 14.04.17 29mg 09.05.17 28mg 07.06.17 27mg 08.06.17 26mg 13.07.17 25mg 07.08.17 24mg 24.08.17 23mg 13.09.17 22mg 12.10.17 21mg 10.11.17 20mg 04.12.17 19mg 01.01.18 17mg 25.01.18 15mg 22.02.18 13.5mg 25.03.18 12.15mg 

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The book I am reading

 

"psychopharmacology for mental health professionals by Carl Rak and Elliot Ingersol" says that auto-receptors for the neurotransmitters adjust from downregulation and become de-sensitized/produce more receptor sites etc etc. to cope over time to cope with the drugging and this effect I believe doesn't die away. and it is i imagine a learnt protective mechanism for survival to ensure it can cope with this kind of drug abuse again!

 

Yes my whole nervous system damage including ridiculously swollen bowels, numb genitals and inability to regulate hyper-vigilant response is permanent damage after 6+ years of being off "medication"

 

facing reality isn't avoidable pessimism however if this offends anyone i suggest they cut their genitals off at 20yo and laugh. dont be sad

 

the rats study on long term sexual effects after being given these drugs as children doesnt make me blame the rats for being pessimistic. I know that is not where you are coming from at all but most people do imagine I am just being pessimistic about being steralized and im not making them happy

 

I know this is not what you are saying but it got me riled lol

 

on another note the neuroplasticity book i picked up the other day suggested that sunshine was the biggest factor. Blue lamps on the internet are too small and expensive grrr I hope they make bigger ones soon! makes me think it has elements of another scam industry

Cocktail drugged since 9

Genitals went numb

Extreme intestinal gas and pain

Extreme anxiety cant concentrate

All permanent

 

Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD)

http://pssdblog.blogspot.com

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Here's the thing no matter what early symptoms are they will improve how much and how fast we don't know we do know some people heal others limp along for a good while years. 

We can always hope for the best and on the days we can't go to bed and rest... feel glum if we must nobody would blame you for that... the catch is not to get stuck there too long it is a form of grieving for your past life and your hopes and dreams maybe we need to allow a bit of that as it is a very human thing to do.  At the same time those of us who have been around this stuff for years and years have seen some people suffer needlessly because they got stuck once they went too far down and could not get out.  I do wonder if this is a healing stage as it seemed to be when I went thru months of being stuck in stark naked dark negativity... 

 

Whatever I had to face  before that state was bad enough the negative state make all things worse and I stayed there for what seemed like forever tho it was maybe 8-9 months.  If it is not a stage that cannot be avoided I would encourage all to avoid it if they can... if that means not going to that place of grieve or allowing oneself to slip or get pushed there.. then that is what needs to be done.  IF it can be done and I am not sure it can.  One thing I can say for sure is that I figured out rather early on I personally could not afford the luxury of negative input... many things would get me down... I would go down too far and be looking suicide in the face again... I know when I am at risk and when I am not if there are any psychotic type fringes I am at real risk... early on I noticed this pattern of getting down and slipping quickly into a psychotic state... fringes... it scared me enough I knew if I was going to survive I had to limit the input.... so I did just that... no violence no indulgences I could not afford.  I made a routine and tried to stick to it... 

 

I went searching in that bleak time for things to life me up to heal me I looked at everything and found the power of now helped me.. the idea that the past and the future have no power the only things with any power is the now this minute is what is vaulable to any human... I changed how I thought about things to reduce my suffering as I figured I had suffered enough... I did what I could and it was not easy. 

 

We cannot afford to go down too low we cannot afford to get stuck even if our bodies are stuck at the moment of choice choosing well can make all the difference... 

 

I have been doing this for a  long time... I am not thinking as well as I would like and math is not strong just now.. I think it is 8 years maybe... almost 9... I could have had 9 years of tragedy to others looking in it may well seem I have but I have also had loving moments and healing times... I have had amazing talks with people here who have lightened my load and helped me carry on.  I am not saying I am not pissed or that I do not miss the human parts of being alive that I can't have like sex...for me I passed the 10 year mark of no sex last month... I miss a lot but I cannot afford the luxury of getting stuck if I am going to stay in a state of least suffering... I do not want to suffer any more. I have done enough more than enough.  So get mad if you need to cause a change hell start a riot if you can... but protect yourself in the process.  If we heal completely or if we don't we still have life and it is to me and to those who love all of us a very valuable thing even if we cannot see it at times. 

 

Not all of us can afford to go there some of us will get stuck.... getting stuck can take life away for some who do not notice the psychotic edge that slips into the wd process... it can be dangerous especially to those who are new to the process and not aware it can happen.   

 

All in all chronic of course it is ... way past 6 months... sometimes much longer for some it seems to not be gone in ten years... but most are improved.  

 

Adding this extra thought to the newly suffering when symptoms are extreme and they have not adjusted to this new state of being is cruel... sometimes dangerous but it happens all the time.  I don't know how we balance it perfectly but we manage to keep going forward... maybe that is the point to go forward... 

 

The longer we live the better the chance somebody some place will figure this out... Alto has been trying to champion this research for many years now... if your well enough help her.  

 

Many came before us and we learned about taper and all the things you find here at SA... many are coming after you.. I encourage you all to add to the knowledge base if you can to push doctors and regulators to write letters .... when your well enough be heard for those that come behind you. 

 

mostly I wish you peace as peace escaped me for many years and is what I have learned to value the most... 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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The nervous system is vastly more complicated than simply serotonin receptors. There are also many types of serotonin receptors.

 

The concept of brain plasticity is based on different parts of the brain or nervous system compensating for others that might be out of commission, as well as outright healing of the tissues. This is how people with brain damage recover.

 

The evidence regarding serotonergic downregulation in mouse receptors is ambiguous (if you have these studies, please send them to me).

 

You can believe that serotonergic downregulation is permanent, or any other side effect of drugs or withdrawal is permanent, but how is this going to help your nervous system adapt? All it does is make you miserable and afraid.

 

If you want to stay in a state of being miserable and afraid, believe the worst in a situation that is ambiguous -- outcomes one way or the other are not assured, but most people tend to improve, slowly but surely.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I think I am a success story! I was on 50 mg zoloft for about 15 years. About 4 years ago i weaned too fast over 3 weeks and got severe discontinuation syndrome. So after being off it almost a month i had to go back on it. Then I developed neurological problems at that point which i have lived with 4 years about now. I developed something in the realm of parkinsonism, dystonia or dyskinesia, tic disorder, BFS. I do not have an official diagnosis. But I quit zoloft July 1, which was a month ago, and I did not get discontinuation syndrome (just some unpleasantness week 2 and week 3) and also all my neurological issues such as facial grimacing, twitching, and tremors are all disappearing. I haven't had facial grimacing in a few weeks! Fasiculations appear to be gone! No spasms. I dont feel the urge anymore like a spasm/tic/tremor whatever it is that i always tried to suppress is going to occur! That was an awful feeling.

My advice is for a drug like zoloft, you have to wean slow. As in for each 25 mg you drop stay there for 8 weeks. If it is a stressful period then do not drop further until that period passes. Get a good support group. You will need someone to unleash your feelings to at the end of the day, most days. Get a dry erase board and write the bad things about zoloft that it did to you. Erase and then write the good things about yourself. If you see it, it is easier to stay focused on the goal. Be prepared to be strong with no help from doctors. You can do it. Doctors in my experience are only there to push meds because they just don't have time or the knowledge to help. I am the first patient with a movement disorder from zoloft that my doctor has seen and he said it is now definitely under his radar to be aware of this in other patients (which is my goal, awareness). Do not succumb to thinking to take another drug or herbal supplement. You do not need that and that will worsen and prolong the cleansing process. Herbals are dangerous anyways and not regulated. Keep a journal. Practice yoga or preferably QiGong. Stay hydrated. Take hot baths with epsom salt. Lay down frequently with legs elevated to improve circulation. Avoid electronics and computers week 2 and 3. The focus puts too much of a strain and will get you too worked up. The confusion during those 2 weeks is intense so you need to treat yourself like someone with a concussion with avoidance of heavy brain stimulating activity such as being at the computer. Meditate. This is especially helpful weeks 2-3 when you may experience near syncope because as your body is adjusting for me it kept making my blood pressure drop 80/50 with pulse around 126. You just have to lay flat with legs elevated during that time period, it does pass. Eat a healthy whole grain diet with a lot of berries. Berries are high in antioxidants and that helps the neurotransmitters in your brain in my opinion, removes free radicals. Avoid refined carbs because the sugar rush they cause leads to anxiety. But eat lots of whole grains like brown rice and 100 percent whole grain wheat. Drink 2 cups daily of lactose free fatfree milk. Calcium has a soothing effect. Try to avoid additives and eat fresh made food. If you can take a month off work, do it. If you only get 2 weeks vacation time, take the vacation time starting day 4 to 5 off zoloft to well at the end day 21 off zoloft.

All these things help but the number one thing you can do is to wean slow! In January, i went down to 25 mg and stayed at 25 mg until end of April. Then i did 25 mg every other day until middle of June. Then for two weeks i did 25 mg, then skip 2 dAys, then take which brought me to the last pill i took was June 30, 2016. It is now August 1st 2016 and I never thought this would be possible but it is and it is possible for everyone out there! Just don't take other medications to help you wean down. Just wean down slowand be patient. Even if you feel ok you MUST do this slow weaning process.

On Zoloft 50 mg for 15 years. waa having basic stress and they said "here try this". Tried multiple times to get off and got discontinuation syndrome every time. Finally after weaning over 6 months I was able to quit Zoloft July 1, 2016. Doing well and finally did not get sick. Zoloft gave me neurological disorders which is why I got off... Fasiculations, resting tremors, spasms, facial grimacing, low BP (POTS), nocturia etc too long to list but now I am doing well and each day get better.

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Oh also i will tell you that throughout the 15 years of zoloft use i tried multiple times with improper taperings like only taking 2-3 weeks to wean down and so each time i got sick, nonfunctional sick, like not even trusting myself to drive and i would compare it to heroin withdrawal but that was my own stupid fault for not weaning correctly. So then after my super severe discontinuation 4 years ago i developed what i would consider PTSD (yes it was that bad) and that nightmare of me laying on the couch wanting to die basically replayed in my head over and over but now after tapering down over 6 months i beat it, did not get discontinuation syndrome, and everyone can do this as long as they taper slow and take as long as you need it to be. Back 4 years ago when i had the discontinuation i will tell you what happened: weaned off zoloft over 2 or 3 week period and i asked doctor for lowest dose zanax (BAD! That will mess u up further) so i took one of those per day about 40 days in a row. Stupid mistake! Made me have increased anxiety during discontinuation. Here were the sxs: explosive feelings in body like i wanted to rest because of how weak i got but laying still was impossible, diarrhea, muscle weakness and fatigue like flulike symptoms, couldnt eat and severe nausea so i lost 20 lbs in one month, severe dizzyness, feeling like someone was shooting a bullet through my head, major panic, faint. At one point i called the doctor in panic and he said i could try to start taking something else like lexapro (bad mistake) took one pill and had a 3 hour long panic attack. I was so ill. Then i felt guilty because I couldn't do anything with my children, missed christmas, my hisband said "i just want my wife back". It was hard on everybody. Also i had this horrible pain in my ear/jaw area/side of face that wouldnt go away. So after a month off i had to go back on zoloft. Then remember if u read my post above that was when all my neurological disorders started.

This time i avoided all that by weaning slowly and everyone can do it, too!

On Zoloft 50 mg for 15 years. waa having basic stress and they said "here try this". Tried multiple times to get off and got discontinuation syndrome every time. Finally after weaning over 6 months I was able to quit Zoloft July 1, 2016. Doing well and finally did not get sick. Zoloft gave me neurological disorders which is why I got off... Fasiculations, resting tremors, spasms, facial grimacing, low BP (POTS), nocturia etc too long to list but now I am doing well and each day get better.

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Hi Yogagirl38,

Your post is so refreshing !Good on you!

It is nice to read a success story.

I'm glad that you are doing well!

I also have long holds in between drops.

Your post gives me hope and I know that I will be Mitrazapine free soon. Best wishes to you and take care,

Hopefull. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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I think I just came to the end of a 2 month window and have now entered a new wave unfortunately.

 

Would you believe that the stress of deciding between 2 job offers (at opposite ends of the country) and staying with family abroad may have done this??

 

Anyway, I felt spoilt for having enjoyed such a long window, and now coming to terms with this new wave.

 

I re-instated 9 months ago and have stayed at the same dose 2.5mg (Cipralex) with a view to dropping by 10% in Nov/Dec time.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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In my community which is a small one (16,000 people) of just the people I know, I can tell you the following success stories.

A) 75 year old man been on Paxil twice for approximately 4 years in total following a suicide attempt. He said they never helped him and he went off slowly over a year. That was about 6 years ago and he is fine.

B) a close friend of mine been on them twice. Had to ct once as pregnant a she said most horrific experience of her life. She went on them again for 4 years and weaned off slowly. She said for months and months afterwards it felt like her head was lifting off her scalp. She is doing fine 7 years later.

C) a member on here who has not posted her success story, too busy enjoying life. She was on pristiq 2 years weaned off over about 4 months and after a year of symptoms said she was finally living again.

D) a friend of mine on ads first Lexapro and then mostly pristiq 100mg for 3 years. Ct off 100mg pristiq and was terrible for about six weeks still suffers slightly but is doing great 1 year later.

E) a lady from my gym on zoloft for 2 years had to wean off due to pregnancy. 6 months off horrific initial withdrawals and now doing well.

F) a close friend on zoloft 15 years weaned off over a month that. Been off them a year still suffers horrible depression always will, insomnia, initial dizziness very bad but she is doing well despite that said she will never go back on. Credits the gym for helping her through. She did this with 5 kids to look after. She was bad on the drugs I remember one day meeting her at the park and she told me she had written suicide letters to all the kids and then burned them.

 

I know of others too probably at least half a dozen but they weaned off slowly and did not really suffer any withdrawal.

 

I come on these sites and I also look for success stories as a source of inspiration and hope during an awful time. The reality in my opinion is there are success stories all around us but many of them do not write on this forum. Those on this forum do not always come back either to write their success stories.

 

I tell everybody in my path about the horror of these drugs, and am astounded by how many people I have spoken to whom have had a negative experience with ads. Gosh even the shrink who writes my compounding scripts had an experience with them herself. Took 3 pills in two weeks became violently ill and had two car crashes!

<p>Various benzos 4 months for insomnia prior to Effexor 37.5mg may 2014 for two weeks, Mirtazapine 30mg june 2014 - feb 2015.Pristiq 50 mg Feb 2015. six weeks later attempted coming off with a six week taper. ten days off and it got ugly. Tapering now using compounded pristiq with slow release agent. 37.5 mg 3 weeks, 30 mg 6 weeks, 25mg 4.5 weeks, 20mg for 6 weeks, 17.5 mgs 7 weeks, 20 mg 8 weeks, 19 mg 3 weeks, 18 mg 3 weeks, 17 mg 3 weeks, 16 mg 3 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 14mg 2 weeks, 13 mgs 2 weeks, 12 mgs 6 weeks, 11mg 3 weeks, 10.5mg 2 weeks, 10 mg 3.5 weeks. 9mg 4 weeks. Jumped at 8mg currently 16 months free

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Thanks for sharing. I do find it hard to believe out of 16,000 members we only have a dozen or so success stories. Paxil Progress seemed go have a lot more for whatever reason. I know there are a lot more successes then the ones that bothered to share.

Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs.

Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010.

Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues.

Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until

12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges.

Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016.

Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016.

2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days

6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron

10/11/16: Off all psych medications

 

After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue.

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Hi Christian when I say my community of 16,000 that's the number who live in my town. Just to clarify.

<p>Various benzos 4 months for insomnia prior to Effexor 37.5mg may 2014 for two weeks, Mirtazapine 30mg june 2014 - feb 2015.Pristiq 50 mg Feb 2015. six weeks later attempted coming off with a six week taper. ten days off and it got ugly. Tapering now using compounded pristiq with slow release agent. 37.5 mg 3 weeks, 30 mg 6 weeks, 25mg 4.5 weeks, 20mg for 6 weeks, 17.5 mgs 7 weeks, 20 mg 8 weeks, 19 mg 3 weeks, 18 mg 3 weeks, 17 mg 3 weeks, 16 mg 3 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 14mg 2 weeks, 13 mgs 2 weeks, 12 mgs 6 weeks, 11mg 3 weeks, 10.5mg 2 weeks, 10 mg 3.5 weeks. 9mg 4 weeks. Jumped at 8mg currently 16 months free

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