jeancine Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 Hi! I'm from Philippines, 20 yrs. old, female. 3 yrs. ago I develop depression due to severe stress. It lasted 6 months. Now, again because of so much stress, I develop Mania, got delusions and psychosis. So I was admitted at the hospital and got injected that make me sleep.That was Feb. 2016. When I wake up, I feel nothing. I lost my personality, got anhedonia, lose focus and concentration! I wonder if anyone got there emotions and their normal life back. It's so frustrating cause Here I was, “The Joy Engineer” of all things, who could not feel joy! It was the ultimate irony. : ( 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
andy Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 I had the same when I was put on quetiapine ,your emotions come back but only when you quit the drugs and then it takes a long time so you have to be patient you will get better hang in there 2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013 December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey 2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey 2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reducedMay 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted May 19, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 19, 2016 Hello Jeancine, It must have been very distressing to wake up that way. You might find it reassuring to read about neuro-plasticity and brain restoration. It gave me a lot of hope when I first came here to know that brains do heal. Do you know what you were injected with? I'm also wondering if you took any drugs when you first had depression 3 years before. Would you be able to fill out a signature – drugs/dates/dosages etc - for the last few years until now, so we can see your situation easily whenever you post, and help you more accurately? Thanks. Many people find Fish oil and Magnesium useful during withdrawal and to support their healing. When we have the answers to those questions, we'll be able to help you more. Welcome to SA, Karen 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
jeancine Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) Why taking antidepressants? if there's a horrible side effects like this. 4 yrsg ago i got depression but within 12 months, my mood lifted. Back to my normal self again. I dont take any antidepressants that time all i do is form a support group. But this feb. 2016 ive gone manic. i was so much in a stressful situation . 1 thing maybe that cause me manic was an inappropriate course for me. I'w taking BS Biology but my real desire is BA Fine Arts. I got hospitalized and got injected by a antipsychotic, i dont know if its haloperidol. After that i felt no emotions. I was diagnozed having bipolar thats why they put me on risperidone and lithium. I take it for 3 months but i stop taking it bcos i realized i had no problem with mood disorder anymore but with this emotional anesthesia. Sorry for my bad english, not my mothertongue though. Im from Philippines anyway. Edited June 30, 2016 by scallywag moved from another member's intro 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
jeancine Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) Im 21 yrs. old, female. I used to be a joy engineer . I just cant imagine now what will be my future now if i stayed this for years. I'm the eldest among our five siblings and employment here is really hard. Now Im disconnected and feels like theres a barrier in me. I want to feel love again, crack some jokes, watch some porn just kidding. Watch some movies, feel music etc. right now im not afraid of death. haha this is so ****! Life is unfair. :-( Edited June 30, 2016 by scallywag moved from another member's intro 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
jeancine Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) Depression if not treated can last 6-12 months.Mania if not treated can last 3-6 months.Its better to suffer to that mental illness within that range than to suffer from side effects of psychiatric drugs that last for several years. If only i am literate enough about these, Maybe I am aware. No! if only im pessimist before, and just an optimistic person and accept things as they are, maybe i dont get any mental illness. and wasnt put to any of these poisons. Some of my friends are now a succesful engineers, but here i am. Laying on my bed all day long. waiting for my emotions to come back. Edited June 30, 2016 by scallywag moved from another member's intro 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted June 30, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 30, 2016 Hi Jeancine, I'm sorry that this happened to you, being forcibly injected and waking up like that must have been awful. You may also be suffering from withdrawal after quitting risperidone and lithium, but all this will get better. Your brain and nervous system will heal in time. Take good care of yourself , and try not to rush the recovery. Exercise when you can, but don't overdo it, gentle walks in the park or on the beach will help a lot. Avoiding caffeine helps, and recreational drugs could trigger mania and make the symptoms worse so best avoided. ( Not suggesting that you have been using drugs! ). Try and avoid stress, that isn't always possible but if you can keep the stress levels down it will be better for you. Your feelings will come back, they might come back gradually, so you barely even notice. Or you might suddenly find yourself crying at something, or laughing and being surprised that you laughed, or cried. I remember when my feelings started to come back, I cried at something on tv, then cried happy tears because I was crying! It can feel like you are being overwhelmed by emotions but it is the brain rebalancing. Scallywag moved your posts to your topic because they explained your situation, and help us to understand what is happening. You have a lot in common with Darksoul, you are both young and suffering from the effects of prescribed drugs, you can compare your recoveries. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
jeancine Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 Depression if not treated can last 6-12 months. Mania if not treated can last 3-6 months. Its better to suffer to that mental illness within that range than to suffer from side effects of psychiatric drugs that last for several years. If only i am literate enough about these, Maybe I am aware. No! if only im NOT pessimist before, and just an optimistic person and accept things as they are, maybe i dont get any mental illness. and wasnt put to any of these poisons. Some of my friends are now a succesful engineers, but here i am. Laying on my bed all day long. waiting for my emotions to come back. 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
jeancine Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 Thank you mammaP! ) Anyway, sorry if i placed my situation into other's intro. I just dont know much how to manage this homegroup since im just using mobile phone. 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
PoetJester Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 Hey Jeancine, I had a horrible time with Haldol and resperdal, too. The Haldol made me lose control of my mouth and tongue where I couldn't talk for a day. The resperdal gave me brain damage and made me walk in circles all day for 6 months. I had no sexual function and couldn't get an erection no matter how hard I tried. I agree it's probably better to let depression or mania heal on it's own and not from drugs. Like you, I also had depression one winter that cleared up on it's own. I had gotten depressed from having a bad job and drinking too much. After being depressed in the winter, my mood became good again once spring arrived. I had the same problem the next winter only this time they put me on anti-depressants (Zoloft and zyprexa) which did nothing for me. My mood lifted again the very second I was let out of the hospital after 2 months and was allowed to walk on grass again and breath fresh air and see trees again, not from the anti-depressants. I hope you start feeling better and see some improvement. derek ps your English is pretty good. Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96. developed severe akithisia and brain damage. Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day. Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time. My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds. On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014 In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004. Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify. Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014 Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt. Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away. However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue. Link to comment
jeancine Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 haha thank you! Hope you're doing fine too. Much appreciated, jeancine 4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar. Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition. March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
PoetJester Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 jeancine, I sent you a personal message. check your personal messenger. It's the little envelope in the upper right hand corner. Poetjester Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96. developed severe akithisia and brain damage. Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day. Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time. My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds. On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014 In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004. Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify. Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014 Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt. Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away. However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue. Link to comment
nicolantana Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 how are you now late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery...... BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. Link to comment
Zharul Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 How are you janice.. did you feek weak? July 2017 - 3 shots = one of them haloperidol and only olanzapine 20mg for 2 weeks , weight gained August 2017- waiting recovery from haloperidol , drug tapper 10mg ,weight gained , weak muscle September 2017- drugs tapper 5mg weight gained , weak muscle October 2017 - drugs free , no improvment from haldol , weight gained , weak muscle November 2017 - waiting haldol recovery since , weight gained , weak muscle Link to comment
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