O2bhappy

O2bhappy: 9 months off Prozac - does it get any better?

382 posts in this topic

Hi:

 

Hope you are feeling just a little better.

 

We get a new sewer system tomorrow, on my birthday. My fiancé said happy birthday, you get a new sewer system. That's ok, at least I can take a shower and use a real toilet. No porta potty. I did laundry and took showers at the neighbors, which I'm thankful for.

 

Hopefully you're feeling better. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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O2. 

Yes I understand why you wouldn't want to reinstate. To be honest I didn't have many problems on Prozac, well I still had some anxiety and was often tired but nothing like I am now, I'm totally disabled. There is only one pro of coming off the med and that is I'm not as emotionally numb but I feel peoples pain far too much and spend a lot of time crying so to be honest I would rather be a little numb. 

If I had everything but the depression I would carry on, it is difficult to put into words the total feeling of hopelessness that I deal with on a daily basis and the constant unrealenting tinnitus.

i watched a video on beyond meds about the lady that took 6 years to recover and had many similar symptoms to me but from what she said she never doubted her will to carry and I don't, the depression sucks every part of me into a black hole where nothing has meaning. I know the meds have made the depression much worse than before but it doesn't matter what causes it's if I can keep going year on year out and I can't. 

Im terrified of going back to Prozac but I'm more scared of living like this forever. 

 

If your body has shown you any sign of recovery hang on and trust your gut. I wish you well. Prozac really is a evil drug I shudder when I think rhey actually give it kids.

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Eleven10 -

 

You were lucky that you didn't have any problems on Prozac.  At first my biggest problem was weight gain, but then all the other side effects started.  I believe that was when I started having poop out, but I continued to take it.  I would honestly still be on it today if I didn't have an issue with changing the generic.  It is probably a blessing that it happened to me that way, because I know it isn't good to be on these medicines long term.  I am the same way.  I was very numb on Prozac and now every little thing makes me cry. 

 

These withdrawal symptoms are very difficult to deal with.  I understand you wanting them to stop and that you are willing to go back on the medicine to try and get some relief. 

 

In the video you watched, was the woman taking Prozac?  Thinking that I could take many more years to recover does scare me.

 

My body has shown signs of recovery, but it has been very slow.  I think it is a good sign that my body is showing signs of healing, don't you?  I heard somewhere that when someone hit their 2 year mark off Prozac they started feeling better.

 

My biggest issues today are the complete brain fog and memory issues, fatigue and right now I am back to being nauseous. 

 

I agree..Prozac is an evil drug.  Being on it I thought it was a "happy" drug...being off it is hell. 

 

Please keep me posted on your reinstatement, if you decide that is what you are going to do!

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My biggest issues right now are brain fog, fatigue, nausea and lack of excitement in anything I do. 

 

The brain fog is awful. I cannot concentrate, I am not present, I can't remember anything, unless I write it down.  I just feel spacy all the time.

 

I have also been extremely fatigued.  I am actually getting sleep at night, but when I wake up in the morning I could go back to sleep two hours later.  I can actually fall asleep sitting up in a chair.

 

My nausea has come back after not having it for 8 months.  I am hoping and praying it isn't from withdrawal and will go away soon. 

 

I also have no excitement about anything I do.  I have some things coming up that should be exciting for me and I do not feel that way.  I don't feel like I get any joy out of anything.  Why is that?

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Over the past couple of weeks I have been having a lot of pressure behind my eyes. I have even had muscle contraction on my forehead and eyelids. Do I just chalk this up to a new withdrawal symptom. 

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Hi O2b

 

I have just spent a long time reading through your thread.

 

I am off cold turkey for just over a year since June. I really identify with almost all of your journal.  I feel much the same now as I did just over 12 months ago.

 

No interest in much and watching other people live their lives and feeling very envious of them all, I am sure the true story of other people is not quite that way at all, it just looks that way to us whilst we are suffering.

 

I am finding this constant recovery very hard to deal with and feel at the end of my rope some days.

 

I hope that you will have an ok day today, I find that ok has to be good enough as a great day is too much to ask for.

 

 

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Waves12

 

The constant recovery is difficult but I like how you said the constant recovery instead of constant withdrawal. I keep looking at it as withdrawal and I think that sets up negative thoughts. I go through phases where I call it withdrawal and recovery and healing. 

 

I am just tired of not feeling how I think I should feel. It's a real struggle. 

 

I woke up this morning feeling very emotional. I can tell the simplest thing is going to make me cry. It is so hard to control my emotions. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my intro and to respond. 

 

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Hi o2b

 

Great to hear from you. 

 

Today I woke up full of fear too and anxiety and sweating.  I  did not know how I would get through the day at first.

 

I decided to mow my lawn front and back and although I couldn't think of anything worse at the time I just got on with it and was so pleased I completed it.

 

I went to see a friend, an odd rare occasion, we had a nice chat and then I went for a walk to the beach, I am 5 minutes away in the car, it was a lovely sunny warm day and I normally would like to be by the sea but found it difficult watching all the families having a fun time and I again felt very alone which intensified my symptoms.

 

Another friend popped in to my house later on, I was expecting her, and we had good chat.

 

The overall end of today was that I felt ok and not so low or so lonely, therefore for me, it is good to be occupied and have some company, it certainly helped today.

 

I really struggle at home as live alone and don't usually see many people through the week or the weekends so a bonus today to see two friends.

 

It is very bad for me to spend so much time alone and easy to just stay home feeling bad which leads to feeling worse. I don't always have anyone to talk to about all this carry on off the meds etc and I think we do need people to talk to through the day/week.

 

Lets hope for a better week for both of us.

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On 28/06/2017 at 11:39 PM, O2bhappy said:

.  This past weekend I went out of town.  While driving it seemed like my brain had a hard time connecting with the new environment I was seeing.  It was weird.  It didn't happen on roads that I had been on before.  This happened on roads that I had never been on.  Even when we got to our destination my mind couldn't really engage and be present where I was at.  It scared me and upset me because this had never happened to me. It made it very hard to enjoy my trip. Was that part of w/d?  Has anyone else experienced anything similar?  

 

The first time this happened to me was so weird, I think that's why I remember it still, whereas I forget other things.  I felt like I was not part of the experience, but "observing" it all from way back in a dark cave.  It seemed unreal, yet I knew it was real but I couldn't feel like I was there or part of it, yes, very weird.  This happened a year after I began a slow taper.

 

It still happens, in fact just recently we went to a different town in the same day.  When we got there, I couldn't believe we were in a different place, it seemed unreal, it seemed surreal.  How did I get here?   This is strange, I thought, just this morning I was home and now I am here!  Definitely w/d related!

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On 07/07/2017 at 11:52 AM, O2bhappy said:

Over the past couple of weeks I have been having a lot of pressure behind my eyes. I have even had muscle contraction on my forehead and eyelids. Do I just chalk this up to a new withdrawal symptom. 

Sounds like a type of migraine?  I had a migraine for 3 days every week for the first several years, and after time went to 2 days and then 1 and now hardly ever, but still get headaches.  Yes, I would chalk it up to a new w/d symptom.  Just throw the dice and see what symptom comes up next in this horrible game of life!

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Waves12 -

 

It is awful to wake up and start your day feeling anxious.  It sounds like you managed to have a productive day.  It is wonderful that you were able to visit with two of your friends.  I am sure that brightened your day.

 

I can relate to watching families have fun while you sit back feeling awful. I understand how that can make you feel worse.  When you don't feel well it seems like everyone else is having a better time then you. 

 

I also think it helps to be around people.  I think being alone and isolated makes you think more and it makes it hard to get out of your head. 

 

I agree we need people to talk to about what we are going through.  That is why I joined this forum, because I knew people here could relate to what I was going through.  I also feel like my family and friends were getting tired of listening to me complain all the time. 

 

I also wish for us to have a better week this week!!!

 

Hugs to you!

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grandmaD -

 

Thank you so much for responding to my post.  When this happened it totally freaked me out and didn't know what was happening to me.  Feeling like I was observing the experience is exactly how I felt.  It did seem very unreal.  I kept telling myself to be present but it wasn't helping.  It was upsetting because I couldn't enjoy the experience.  I kept telling myself to look around and take it in.  I actually took a bunch of pictures so I could remind myself of my surroundings.  When we got home from our vacation it took me awhile to get

 

I wonder what is going on in our brains to cause this sensation/feeling.  I hope and pray it gets better.  I am going out of town next week to a new place and I hope it doesn't happen again.  If it does how do you handle it? 

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grandmaD -

 

I have been blessed and never had a migraine.  Can you have a migraine without a headache?  

 

It is hard to believe that after 22 months off of Prozac that I am still getting new withdrawal symptoms.  I wonder at what point do you stop getting new symptoms. 

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17 hours ago, O2bhappy said:

grandmaD -

 

 I actually took a bunch of pictures so I could remind myself of my surroundings.  When we got home from our vacation it took me awhile to get

 

I wonder what is going on in our brains to cause this sensation/feeling.  I hope and pray it gets better.  I am going out of town next week to a new place and I hope it doesn't happen again.  If it does how do you handle it? 

That is funny, because I took a lot of photos, also.  I remember thinking "this should look beautiful" but it didn't!  I think now, knowing what I have found out in hindsight is called some fancy pancy name but basically means you have lost the ability to "enjoy" or "appreciate" it and lose that "sense of pleasure".  Later on, when I saw the photos, I thought they were lovely!

 

These episodes come and go now for days,j sometimes months at a time.  I don't realise it is happening and I think now, it is those days I feel very low and despondent and get very discouraged and fed up and lose all hope.  I have been like that for almost 4 months now with the muscle spasms and aches and pains, but for 2 days now I have felt much more reasonable and today enjoyed going out for a coffee and a short drive.

 

I can't tell you how I handle it because I DON'T REALISE IT WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO ME!  When I am in that state, I forget to remember what iss happening and don't recognisde it.  It is only when I begin to feel more reasonable, like yesterday and today, that THEN I REALISE I have been in "that place agian"!  So, sorry, not much help, I guess you just have to accept it and if you can remember, tell yourself "it will pass"!!

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17 hours ago, O2bhappy said:

grandmaD -

 

I have been blessed and never had a migraine.  Can you have a migraine without a headache?  

 

It is hard to believe that after 22 months off of Prozac that I am still getting new withdrawal symptoms.  I wonder at what point do you stop getting new symptoms. 

A migraine to me is a headache, just a very severe one where I usually have to go to bed for 1-3 days.  Thankfully, these have improved heaps after 6 years and I might just get a bad headache now and still get an average of 2 mild to moderate headaches a week.

 

good question!  I got new symptoms for many years.  I didn't get insomnia right away or anxiety or palpitations.  I have never had the low back muscle spasms this bad EVER for SO LONG.  I still don't know if they are w/d related or osteo or the scoliosis.

 

What are your worst symptoms nowadays?

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20 hours ago, O2bhappy said:

Waves12 -

 

It is awful to wake up and start your day feeling anxious.  It sounds like you managed to have a productive day.  It is wonderful that you were able to visit with two of your friends.  I am sure that brightened your day.

 

I can relate to watching families have fun while you sit back feeling awful. I understand how that can make you feel worse.  When you don't feel well it seems like everyone else is having a better time then you. 

 

I also think it helps to be around people.  I think being alone and isolated makes you think more and it makes it hard to get out of your head. 

 

I agree we need people to talk to about what we are going through.  That is why I joined this forum, because I knew people here could relate to what I was going through.  I also feel like my family and friends were getting tired of listening to me complain all the time. 

 

I also wish for us to have a better week this week!!!

 

Hugs to you!

o2b

 

Hugs to you too!

 

How are you doing today?

 

Nice dark skies here in south of uk this morning, looks like no walk on the beach today.  We have had a good stretch of warm sunny days and I find sunny days help the mood.

 

I agree the forum is a great place to be as friends and families do get fed up listening.  I think they probably just don't know what to say anymore rather than being fed up with us.

 

Waves

 

 

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Hi happy,

I am sorry you are going through so much.

Is your sleep got any better or you still suffering with insomnia?

what are you using for sleep?

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grandmaD -

 

On ‎7‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 3:39 AM, grandmaD said:

That is funny, because I took a lot of photos, also.  I remember thinking "this should look beautiful" but it didn't!  I think now, knowing what I have found out in hindsight is called some fancy pancy name but basically means you have lost the ability to "enjoy" or "appreciate" it and lose that "sense of pleasure".  Later on, when I saw the photos, I thought they were lovely!

 

These episodes come and go now for days,j sometimes months at a time.  I don't realise it is happening and I think now, it is those days I feel very low and despondent and get very discouraged and fed up and lose all hope.  I have been like that for almost 4 months now with the muscle spasms and aches and pains, but for 2 days now I have felt much more reasonable and today enjoyed going out for a coffee and a short drive.

 

I can't tell you how I handle it because I DON'T REALISE IT WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO ME!  When I am in that state, I forget to remember what iss happening and don't recognisde it.  It is only when I begin to feel more reasonable, like yesterday and today, that THEN I REALISE I have been in "that place agian"!  So, sorry, not much help, I guess you just have to accept it and if you can remember, tell yourself "it will pass"!!

 

I wonder what in withdrawal causes us to lose our ability to appreciate and enjoy things.  It is very frustrating. 

 

I have noticed that when I am driving places I have been I don't have this disassociation.  It only happens when I go someplace new.  It is like my brain cannot wraps itself around the new sights. 

 

I am hoping this doesn't happen again, but if it does I will remind myself that this will pass.  I just want to be able to enjoy a drive to a new place without freaking out about it. 

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On ‎7‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 3:43 AM, grandmaD said:

A migraine to me is a headache, just a very severe one where I usually have to go to bed for 1-3 days.  Thankfully, these have improved heaps after 6 years and I might just get a bad headache now and still get an average of 2 mild to moderate headaches a week.

 

good question!  I got new symptoms for many years.  I didn't get insomnia right away or anxiety or palpitations.  I have never had the low back muscle spasms this bad EVER for SO LONG.  I still don't know if they are w/d related or osteo or the scoliosis.

 

What are your worst symptoms nowadays?

 

With the pressure that I am getting I don't get an actual headache.  I do have pain associated with it.  I am wondering if it could be related to my sinuses.  Maybe I should try a sinus rinse and see if that helps.

 

I have three things I am dealing with...withdrawal, menopause and hypothyroidism.  Each have symptoms that I am dealing with.

 

Withdrawal...Anxiety, crying, being fearful and scared, dp/dr, pressure in my head, brain fog smell hallucination, some nausea, insomnia.  Those are the biggest things in withdrawal.  I have other issues but they are minor. 

 

Menopause...hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, insomnia and crying

 

Hypothyroidism...extreme fatigue, brain fog, weight gain and hair loss

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Waves12 -

 

I am doing okay today.  I am just tired and frustrated dealing with these symptoms.  I am ready for a break.

 

Sunny days are good for the mood.  It is very hot today so I am trying to limit my outside time.  Makes my withdrawal symptoms and menopause symptoms worse. 

 

I am sure my family and friends don't know what to say to me anymore.  I wish they did because withdrawal is such a big part of my life right now.  I am sure they are tired of hearing me complain. 

 

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rupa -

 

I am still suffering with insomnia, but it has gotten better.  Of course some nights are better then other nights.  I certainly don't sleep like I use to when I was drug on Prozac. 

 

I am not using anything for sleep.  I don't want to take any medicine to help me sleep.  Before I go to bed I do listen to relaxation music.  That helps relaxes me but doesn't help me sleep. 

 

I have also found that I can't really nap.  I use to love a good nap, but not anymore.  I just can't sleep during the day even when I am exhausted. 

 

 

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Ho O2bhappy:

 

I was just reading your thread and noticed you are having a bunch of WD symptoms again?

 

I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I pray you have a speedy recovery from some of it at least.

 

Keep your chin up. It's really hard for anyone to understand what's going on with you when they have never experienced it themselves. :)

 

As good as my fiancé is, he still thinks I should be able to just pack up and go like we did before I started tapering. He figured it out on this last trip home.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

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