O2bhappy

O2bhappy: 9 months off Prozac - does it get any better?

382 posts in this topic

anongrl5590 -

 

I totally agree that the whole process of w/d is weird and crazy.  I understand the fear about the future and are things going to get worse.  It is awful.  I know the body takes a long time to heal and recover and I just hope that is what happens to us. 

 

I haven't taken anything for my sleep, but I have nights when I think about it.  Last night I manage three hours of broken sleep.  I am exhausted today and it is making my w/d symptoms worse.  I have been crying on and off today.  I think the song looping and the weird desire to cut my hair are invasive thoughts.  It is just frustrating to have them.  I have had other weird invasive thoughts during withdrawal.  If I told someone who wasn't going through w/d they just wouldn't understand. 

 

Please let me know the results of your MRI. 

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I have been trying to keep up with people's posts and I did notice a  while back you mentioned the hair cutting thing, but I had too much going on with my son (and still gong on) but anyway, I also had same desire and I actually shaved all my hair off and I did that every year for 3 years!  I think it is out of total desperation, not being able to control anything else in your life and grief!!!  It has just grown back now so i don't look like a boy anymore!  I also had the singing thing that drove me quite batty, it was like a male heavenly choir that went non-stop and was torture.  I had no other thoughts during that time as it was continual.  I had it again recently, but just for 1 day.  Keep turtling on, that's all we can do!

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grandma D -

 

I am sorry to hear that you are still dealing with things with your son.  I understand that can be time consuming.  I hope things get better soon.

 

I am sorry to hear that you had the same desire to cut you hair, but glad I am not the only one.  I almost didn't write anything about it because I thought it was so weird to have those thoughts.  I never thought about it being a control thing, but that makes perfect sense.  I try very hard not to hold onto those thoughts, but it isn't easy.  The constant song looping just started in the last couple of months.  I guess I will chalk that up to another weird w/d symptom. 

 

The other day I was having a rough time and I thought to myself I need to keep turtling on. :-) 

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Today marks 19 months being off Prozac.  What a long miserable journey this has been.  I am frustrated with how long the healing and recovery process takes.  I know I was on Prozac for a long time and it will take a long time to recover but I am just ready to be in a place to write my success story.  There are days when I think that will never be possible.

 

I still struggle everyday with some sort of withdrawal symptoms.  To this day I haven't had a window of feeling 100% better. 

 

I am still struggling with: crying, depression, anxiety, being scared, insomnia, fatigue, internal shaking, DP/DR, smell hallucinations, hot flashes and night sweats.

 

I try using coping mechanisms to help my symptoms, but I have days when my w/d is so bad that I can't even think about a coping mechanism to use. 

 

I am still missing/grieving that happy go lucky person I was while on Prozac. 

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A few more things I forgot... 

 

My memory is awful.  I struggle throughout the day trying to remember what I have done.  I need to set reminders on my phone otherwise I forget to do them. 

 

Even though time is moving fast it also seems like it is standing still.  The days drag for me.  I will look at the clock thinking that an hour has passed and only 10 minutes has passed. 

 

I still am struggling with getting excited about anything in my life.  I have a few things coming up that I should be getting excited about and I am not. 

 

I still feel like I am just existing and not living my life. 

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ChessieCat -

 

Thank you for sharing the topic on distorted time. I thought it had to do with the fact that time was/is going slow because of how bad I feel. I hope it is like all w/d symptoms and it will eventually get better.

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O2bhappy, I hope you are feeling better!

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mustangwoman -

 

Unfortunately, I am feeling much worse.  I am not sure what is going on with me.  I think it must be a wave.  All I know is I am done feeling bad.  Who would think 19 months off Prozac and I am still feeling bad.   

 

How are you doing? 

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I am 19 months off Prozac, almost 20 and I am feeling awful.  I actually am feeling worse then I did several months ago.  Besides the internal shaking I physically feel okay.  It is all the emotional and psychological symptoms that have taken hold and will not let go.  Is it "normal" to have a bad wave this far off Prozac? 

 

I am living in constant fear right now.  I am scared that I am not going to get better and I am scared because I have feelings of wanting to hurt myself.  These feelings come out of nowhere.  I feel like I am completely spaced out and not present in the moment at all.  My life is passing me by and I am just sitting watching it. 

 

I get these weird impulses come over me.  While standing in line I had this weird desire to touch the woman's face in front of me because her skin looked so soft.  I have never had a thought/impulse like this before.  What is happening that is causing this? 

 

I am getting all these new emotional and psychology symptoms that I didn't have months ago...why is this happening now? 

 

I am really struggling right now.  I have even thought about going on a different antidepressant, which I know isn't the answer.  I am just in so much psychological pain and I want to feel better. 

 

All I seem to do is ruminate about how bad I am feeling, which I am sure doesn't help.  How do I break this cycle?

 

Any advice, suggestions, support would be greatly appreciated.

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Can anyone offer suggestions regarding my last post. (April 17th).  I would greatly appreciate it.  I am really struggling right now. 

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Hi 02.

I was on Prozac for many years like you, I have been off for over 3 years. I'm still very very ill but one thing that has improved is the intrusive thoughts, well I still get them but I'm not scared of them anymore and I pay them no attention. Like you I have never has a window just constant suffering.

 

It's very hard with the thoughts but not giving them attention helps, open the door and invite them in, they soon loose their power.

 

Good luck on your journey.

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Happy. I'm so sorry you are experiencing this . However, it's completely normal in withdrawal. I sometimes struggle even now after almost 3 years. It is not uncommon to have " windows and waves "  at this point. I find it's still constantly changing and evolving.

 

It takes so much extraordinary patience . What can you do to stop ruminating and break the cycle ?

 

Try and take a deep breath and go back to practicing the non- drug coping skills that  have helped you this far . Diet, Deep breathing , Yoga  Walking  Meditation , Sun , Music, Magnesium baths etc - whatever works best for you. Sometimes you have to try a few things before you find what helps you but mostly it's a combination.

 

I have found when I'm struggling that it helps to just - get to the next day . It's usually better. One day at a time . You sometimes have to dig deep, carry on and have faith that it will get better given more time.

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Eleven10 -

 

Thank you for your response.  I think I am hurting myself more because I am constantly thinking about how bad I am feeling.  I am having a hard time breaking this thought pattern, it is awful.  I am so aware of every little thing going on with my body.  I blame either w/d, menopause, my thyroid or grief from losing my golden retriever.  I just can't accept that I feel this bad. 

 

I use to get constant headaches when I was on Prozac.  I would take medicine and my headache would go away.  I just want something to take to make this all go away.  I know there is no easy fix, but I am just done feeling bad.  I know we are all suffering and it is awful. 

 

I

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AliG -

 

Thank you for your response.  It seems like my waves have gotten worse.  Yes, I have noticed a few things that have improved but I also notice things that have gotten worse.  It is the emotional/psychological symptoms that are bringing me down.  I have numerous things against me...w/d, menopause, my thyroid and grieving for my golden retriever. 

 

It does take a tremendous amount of patience, which I think at this point I have lost.  I know I should be doing all the things that I have learn from my coping strategies, but at this moment I just want to feel better and not struggle anymore.  I know we all feel that way.  I think I have dug deep so many times, that I can't really dig anymore. 

 

I am sure my attitude towards how I am feeling is making things worse on me.  I love your quote about finding joy and joy will burn out the pain.  I think that is another problem.  I haven't experience joy in a long time. 

 

Thank you again for your help and support!

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It's perfectly natural to want to take something to fix this 02, as humans we look for solutions you should not feel bad for that. I wonder everyday if meds would pull me out of this hole, I wonder if my kids would have a mom around if I did but then I remember how unbelievably ill they have made me and fear stops me. I hope you find some peace

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Eleven10 -

 

Thank you for telling me it is perfectly natural to want to take something to fix how bad I feel.  I know Prozac stopped working for me and going back on it is not an option.  At this point, I am too scared to try another a/d.  I had a lot of side effects while on Prozac and I didn't realize they were from taking the Prozac until I stopped the Prozac.  I am very sensitive to medicine so staying away from them is best.  Just wished there was an easy answer. 

 

Have you ever thought about hurting yourself during withdrawal?  It scares me when I have these thoughts.  I think I have them sometime because I want something to take away the emotional and psychological pain. 

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Eleven10 -

 

Have you ever thought about hurting yourself during withdrawal?  It scares me when I have these thoughts.  I think I have them sometime because I want something to take away the emotional and psychological pain. 

Yes - and then I remind myself that there is hope for healing, and how horrible it would be for my wife and kids if I did hurt myself.

 

So my fervent advice to you is - don't hurt yourself. You will heal. And you are loved. You have value and worth and deserve to live.

 

SJ

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Hi 02. Yes I have had those feelings a lot. There was a time I would look at my children and think "you will be ok without me" I was in a very very bad place then and suicide scared the hell out of me, it's not until you stand next to a river in that place that you realise how unbelievably scary it is and that your children would never be the same.

 

I'm so sorry you gave those thoughts but they are just thoughts they do. Or define who you are and they do not control you. Are you in the U.K.?

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Hi O2, I don't have any advice to give you but just wanted to let you know I'm here if you need me and I'm going through the same thing at the moment too. I'm not coping very well at all. At nearly 20 months out I was hoping things would be looking better for both of us by now, only 4 more months and we'll have been free of Prozac for 2 years. We might not feel much better but we've come a long way.

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ShakeyJerr -

 

Thank you so much for your advice and reminding me that I am loved.  I do think about the hurt I would cause my family if I did do something to myself.  I wouldn't want them to suffer.

 

It is weird that I don't have constant thoughts of wanting to hurt myself, these thoughts come over me like a wave.  Like I said, it is an impulse that comes over me.

 

Stay strong!

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Eleven10 -

 

I tried to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I don't want to act on them.  I know it is from withdrawal.  It is just scary to get these thoughts.  Why can't withdrawal cause happy thoughts. :)

 

I live in the US. 

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keepinghope -

 

I am sorry that you are suffering too.  I was hoping we both would be doing better after 20 months off Prozac.  The worst for me now is the emotional and psychological symptoms.  I am still dealing with the internal shaking, smell hallucination and my head is burning right now.  I also have menopause symptoms, which have been made worse since I am no longer on Prozac.   I know we are much better off being off Prozac, but there is times where I wish there was a magic pill to help us heal.  I feel like I have lost so much time dealing with withdrawal.  I see my family and friends enjoying their lives while I sit and suffer.  It would probably help me if I changed my mindset and thought about this differently.  Just not sure how to do that right now.  My mindset tends to be negative.  My body is probably reacting to my mind.

 

Thanks for being here for me, I greatly appreciate it.  I am here for you as well.  We can get through this together!!!

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You are most welcome, O2bhappy! You are right, we are going to get through this together.

 

I personally am having a rough symptom day. My "electric" body is zapping my arms and legs, I am one part restless and one part in despair. I am even finding it hard to pray - something that has almost never happened to me before.

 

I need a breakthrough, some relief, a rainbow, a hug...

 

I'm not thinking of harming myself in the classic sense - but boy, on days like this I think about going to the doctor and going back on the meds - which could be great harm indeed!

 

SJ

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ShakeyJerr -

 

I am sorry you are dealing with a rough symptom day.  I am hoping that the "electric" body zapping in your arms and legs is better today.  I understand the being restless and being in despair.  I am sorry you are finding it hard to pray.  I will add you to my prayers.  I would appreciate it if you did the same for me.  I certainly can use some prayers.

 

A breakthrough and some relief would be wonderful.  I would like to find my joy and happiness again.

 

I agree that going back on medicine would cause great harm.  I have thought about it and it has even been suggested to me.  I am almost 20 months off Prozac and the thought of taking another antidepressant scares the hell out of me.  I just want something to make me feel better and I know the answer is time, but when you feel awful you just want to feel better now.  I have conditioned myself that when I have a headache I take a Tylenol, when I have a cold I take cold medicine and here I feel awful from w/d and there is nothing to take to make you feel better. 

 

Hugs to you and I hope you have a better day.

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Thanks for the prayers. I have been praying for you too! I took a Tylenol PM because my back hurt and I thought maybe the benadryl in it would me relax. I do not like how it made me feel at all. I feel all kind of floaty, but not in a good way. I was laying down for a while but forced myself to get up because while laying down it felt like my body was just going stop in a bad way, like it would turn off and I would die.

 

I do not know how much more of this I can take.

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ShakeyJerr -

 

Thank you for the prayers.  I haven't taken a Tylenol PM in years, but I use to take it all the time while I was on Prozac.  I can understand how it is making you feel bad.  It is scary thinking your body is going to stop, but it isn't going to stop.  I have had times where I thought I was going to stop breathing.  It is scary.  I even bought a pulse oximeter to check my respiration rate. 

 

It is awful with how bad going through withdrawal makes you feel.  You have to have patience going through withdrawal and it is so hard because you just want to feel better.  In the beginning of withdrawal I would always ask when am I going to feel better and everyone would tell me it is going to take time.  I didn't like that answer because I wanted to feel better at that moment.  It didn't matter what I did, nothing made me feel better. 

 

I know you are struggling and so am I, but we can get through this.  I am here for you!!!

 

Hugs!

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I'm still in the midst of what is close to the worst, if not the worst, sustained anxiety attack I have had. I know it is a combination of my broken body chemistry and neuro-emotions. I know that nothing is actually "wrong" to make me anxious. But still, I am suffering. I do not know if I can face the rest of tonight or tomorrow if it is going to be like this.

 

Agin, I would never hurt myself. But this is just so horrible right now. I feel like I will never be fine again. And I hate that my poor wife and daughter have to be dragged through this hell with me.

 

I did take that hydroxyzine at around 3:30pm - so that did cut the panic some. But it just never leaves :(

 

God, please make it stop.

 

SJ

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I'm still in the midst of what is close to the worst, if not the worst, sustained anxiety attack I have had. I know it is a combination of my broken body chemistry and neuro-emotions. I know that nothing is actually "wrong" to make me anxious. But still, I am suffering. I do not know if I can face the rest of tonight or tomorrow if it is going to be like this.

 

Agin, I would never hurt myself. But this is just so horrible right now. I feel like I will never be fine again. And I hate that my poor wife and daughter have to be dragged through this hell with me.

 

I did take that hydroxyzine at around 3:30pm - so that did cut the panic some. But it just never leaves :(

 

God, please make it stop.

 

SJ

 

hi SJ ,I agree with what u say ,the guilt we feel for bringing this pain to our loved ones is horrible .we need to keep this in check and get perspective ,we are victims of these drugs so we need more compassion for ourselves.

​I'm also in a very bad place at the moment  but  hope and spirit will never diminish .

Take care

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Take good care of yourself today, Powerback! I woke up with my anxiety greatly reduced, but still with me. Hopefully as our day unfolds, we will both get relief.

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Take good care of yourself today, Powerback! I woke up with my anxiety greatly reduced, but still with me. Hopefully as our day unfolds, we will both get relief.

 

hi SJ thank u for your kind words. in a perverse way I believe we never stop learning from our nasty experiences and when we take the power away from the doctors we can begin to heal .

I will try my best not to nap today ,want to get to sleep early ,up for work tomorrow .no sleep and work is the worst combination .[mostly get sleep but full of nightmare's lately.

​I have great support and coping strategies ,in a couple of weeks I will travel to visit my brother and niece ,I must say she warms my heart to the  point of great joy.

she will grow up and never realise the  warmth she's brought me in the past year she born.

Take care .    

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I have been pretty much in total anxiety attack all morning. It eased a bit when we went to get some breakfast. Then we shot up to a GNC to see if they had theanine or glycine, but they didn't.


 


My wife has been calling all around. She finally found a place with theanine 200mg capsules. She's going to get it now.


 


But I am on the edge of going to the ER. Not that they can do anything there but give me psych meds or a psych referral. Whole lot of good that would do. And if I went, I would just be causing more hardship for my wife and poor 10 year old daughter, who can't even begin to process what is going on with her daddy.


 


I am happy though that your niece is a source of joy. I hope to feel joy soon too.


 


SJ


 


SJ

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ShakeyJerr-

 

I understand about the difficulty of anxiety.  I live with it 24/7.  For me the internal shaking I have makes it worse.  I haven't found anything that helps me with it.  I just live with it, and let me say not very well.  My anxiety is worse when I leave my house so I have become pretty much a home body, which isn't anyway to live.

 

I am not sure if going to the ER would be helpful.  I believe that they would put you on some type of medicine.  I understand wanting to get rid of the anxiety.  I have tried coping strategies, but when my anxiety is at its worse, nothing helps. 

 

I understand how tough it is on your family.  My family has suffered because I have suffered.  I wish I had some helpful and healing words to offer, but right now I don't because I am struggling with the same thing.

 

Hang in there.

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Trying to hang in there, but having another very difficult morning. Plus, there are a lot of outside stressors on me. My 10 year old daughter is having trouble transitioning to a new school after a forced mid-semester change (too long of a story). She's missing her old friends and routine. And now my cat who has been with me for 16 years is showing signs of illness. If she dies, it is going to devastate all of us.

 

I just don't know why my family cannot seem to catch a break lately. God, where are You?!?!?

 

SJ

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Trying to hang in there, but having another very difficult morning. Plus, there are a lot of outside stressors on me. My 10 year old daughter is having trouble transitioning to a new school after a forced mid-semester change (too long of a story). She's missing her old friends and routine. And now my cat who has been with me for 16 years is showing signs of illness. If she dies, it is going to devastate all of us.

 

I just don't know why my family cannot seem to catch a break lately. God, where are You?!?!?

 

SJ

God is right there with you, holding you up as you get thru this tough time. (((hugs)))

 

so sorry you're all going thru such a hard time.

try to look for even tiny things that are going ok and hold onto them. they will help you get thru this.

 

and remember, the one constant in life is change. That means, even though good times will end, bad times end too. this is not forever, things will get better.

 

wishing you and O2bhappy some relief soon!!

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I needed to hear that, catnapt! Thank you so much.

 

O2 - how are you doing today?

 

SJ

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