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CJAJ16: So scared and lost - Escitalopram Withdrawal

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#145 Pepita

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Posted 21 November 2016 - 01:17 AM

Generally I got the impression that the windows start to become longer. The waves are still different all the time
for me at least. Sometimes I feel panicky and unreal, sometimes I feel very sensitive with noise and light, sometimes I feel really depressed..but somehow it's never everything at once (thank god:D) I also got the impression that intense stress can trigger a wave really quickly. generally I am still very very sensitive to ANY stress... and by any I mean it does not matter if it's positive or negative stress. Being really happy to meeting someone I have not seen in a long time can cause panic, sleep troubles, sadness,... it's really weird (and mostly annoying of course) but with the time (if you're able to be nice to yourself) you will be more understanding of the situation and be more kind to yourself and your "hurt" nervous system.

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015


#146 AliG

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Posted 21 November 2016 - 04:02 AM

Hi CJ.

 

Can waves and windows last weeks not just days? Reading the thread on this topic ppl talk about it in terms of days.

For ppl that stuck with remaining off the SSRI how long until the waves stop?? Or how long until the waves got shorter and easier??

 

I have found that windows and waves can last many months and as you start to heal that is the pattern, for myself at least and many others here. I have just had a wave seemingly strike out of the blue after almost 6 months in a lovely window that I thought was permanent.

 

I had been "cycling " in and out of waves & windows quite extensively as I headed towards healing. I think it was almost weekly at one point but then became monthly.

 

My pattern overall has been longer windows and less waves until you are in a seemingly permanent window. I was surprised with this last one as I thought I was " over it all "  but it has a habit of rearing it's head and knocking you sideways all over again. Oh, the joy. Sigh ...

 

I have found it to be an overall upward trajectory, with steps forward and back along the way. The windows get longer and the waves much shorter. 

That is at least how it's been for me.

 

I would agree that " extra " stress can set off a wave. Something to watch out for but not necessarily avoidable. Life happens ! :huh:

Ali


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#147 Junglechicken

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Posted 21 November 2016 - 06:04 AM

Generally I got the impression that the windows start to become longer. The waves are still different all the time
for me at least. Sometimes I feel panicky and unreal, sometimes I feel very sensitive with noise and light, sometimes I feel really depressed..but somehow it's never everything at once (thank god:D) I also got the impression that intense stress can trigger a wave really quickly. generally I am still very very sensitive to ANY stress... and by any I mean it does not matter if it's positive or negative stress. Being really happy to meeting someone I have not seen in a long time can cause panic, sleep troubles, sadness,... it's really weird (and mostly annoying of course) but with the time (if you're able to be nice to yourself) you will be more understanding of the situation and be more kind to yourself and your "hurt" nervous system.


Hi Pepita,

This is absolutely true for me as well - positive and negative stress can trigger a wave.

I remember before meeting up with some friends we hadn't seen for a while, I was experiencing adrenaline rushes through my body and heavy legs similar to a hypoglycaemic event. It was very strange.

My usual attitude these days is to dread social events as my life is not what it was, and I can't hold down a regular job. I also find being social very hard work and get tired out very quickly.....just want to be in bed really. When we go away to, say a party over a weekend and have to stay somewhere, I will make sure the guest house is close to the friend's house so I can go off to bed.

Still, I have experienced a long window, but am currently going through a series of shorter waves.

Will have to see which way the tide turns.

JC
Feb 2014 -Cipralex/Escitalopram 10mg dailyJune 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 daysSept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering.Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms disappeared over a few days.Have been on this dose ever since and am experiencing "windows" and "waves".Nov 15th 2016 Re-start regular counsellingJan 19th 2017 Start CBT<p>Plan to re-start taper (liquid Cipralex/Escitalopram) Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 4th Jan 2017.

#148 Pepita

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Posted 21 November 2016 - 06:28 AM

Hi Jungle Chicken,
when I am in waves I as well try to avoid exciting social events at any costs! Just meeting my closest friends then is effort enough. sometimes I convince myself to still go somewhere- let's say the big party- and afterwards I am glad I went but I am also tired as hell because it costs so much energy to just be there :D it is soooooo weird.
what happens to me as well is that when I am being in wave my brain seems to forget that I habe been in waves and windows before and that it will pass. With every new wave I tend to get desperate and scared that it will never be different again and suddenly a few days later the coin flips and booom-all the dark thoughts and worries are gone. I think thats a pattern you can see in my thread ;) sometimes I write very desperate, sometimes hopeful. WD is soooo tricky. But it alwayyyyys helps me when I tell
myself that at least I am not damaging my brain any
more, I am drug free and that's worth something, even when I'm
miserable

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015


#149 CJAJ16

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Posted 30 December 2016 - 06:34 AM

Is it time to give up??

It's been 8 months now. Still unable to work, crippled by anxiety and depression. I'm a burden on everyone, I'm broken and lost, I feel dead inside. I have had windows but they haven't lasted. I can't live like this.
I really wanted to believe I could do this and live my life without drugs but maybe that's not a reality for me.
It'll break my heart to go back on the drugs but this is no life. I could just ask for Sertraline and run the risks of taking it if I get pregnant.

Has anyone else had to give up giving up and realised a life without drugs is a nice fantasy but not possible for them?
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#150 Pepita

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Posted 31 December 2016 - 12:18 AM

Hey there CJAJ- first of all, I am terribly sorry that you're going through this really rough time! I, we all here can refer to how you're feeling. Specially concerning those "should I go back on meds" topic. This is truly the hardesr part. Never knowing if this will just ever end... I am telling you one thing: If you have been fine pre meds (or at least ways ways better) - then this is wirhdrawal. And WD does not last forever! I habe had a really tough wave about 9 months into WD where I was overthinking the whole ad topic again.But it ended. and for 2 months now my
life almost feels normal again. I know there might still be some waves ahead of me. I found that in so many books there was an 18 months mark mentioned. Saying that it's normal for WD to last about 18 months. I even found it in my heart to talk to my GP ( i mostly don't talk to doctors about this any more) and he confirmed that the nervous system takes a lot of time to heal. He congratulated me
for lasting this long. You can be very proud of yourself and what you have mastered so far! I totally understand that you rather go back on meds than suffer this way- but maybe it helps if you set a time-limit waiting at least for 18 months? sometimes recovery comes very sudden:) the windows become longer, waves less intense. I believe you can do it:) got support at home?
best wishes,
Pepita

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015


#151 nz11

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Posted 31 December 2016 - 01:05 AM

Is it time to give up??

It's been 8 months now. Still unable to work, crippled by anxiety and depression. I'm a burden on everyone, I'm broken and lost, I feel dead inside. I have had windows but they haven't lasted. I can't live like this.
I really wanted to believe I could do this and live my life without drugs but maybe that's not a reality for me.
It'll break my heart to go back on the drugs but this is no life. I could just ask for Sertraline and run the risks of taking it if I get pregnant.

Has anyone else had to give up giving up and realised a life without drugs is a nice fantasy but not possible for them?

 

So sorry you are struggling CJAJ.

You are 8 months drug free you are doing so well.

Listen this is not the time to give up. Dont give up. You can do this.

You are getting windows despite them being short in duration and frequency that is something to hang on to. That in and of itself is a sign you will improve. The windows in time will lengthen and strengthen as the cns heals.

I'll tell you something at 14 months i decided i would give up the fight id had enough. I walked into the doctors clinic to see the doc the secretary said he was all booked up today and i would have to make an appointment for another day.  I said thanks and left. I never went back again and carried on surviving. I'm so glad he was booked up that day. And im so glad i pushed on drug free. In just two more months from there i experienced a receding of the morning 'hell' and at about 2 yrs it then  became manageable.

Its hard to describe but i could suddenly walk from my bedroom to the bathroom in the mornings without shaking and crying and without  overwhelming intrusive thoughts pushing me to cut my wrists or hang myself.

It has taken me 6 yrs to be able to return to work. So you are not alone.

Many times after 2-4 year period  i would still cry and say im not going to make it. But i kept on. Slowly very slowly windows became longer and more stable.

Distraction i think is key. There is heaps of stuff here on this site about that. Also when things got real bad i would lie down and keep still. Sometimes thats all one can do.

 

Don't give up many report improvements in yr 1-2 and even more in yr 2-3.

 

Hangin there.

nz11


2000 amitryptaline, nortriptaline venlafaxine clonazepam for  arm pain from keyboard use, told I had a chemical imbalance it would fix my arm was just a matter of finding the right med for me not informed of the nature of these drugs assured safe and not addictive, CT off Effexor after being told to double the dose on reporting adverse effects...later ..uncharacteristic psych panic tearful presented to doctor to get answers. Given paroxetine no questions asked 'safe and not addictive' next please.2001-2010 paroxetine (paxil) 2 failed attempts to quit, a learned helplessness set in. Feb 10 - Sept 10,  8 month clueless taper, hell. Doc said I had underlying depression .. I said that's not right' then found online support group and the truth!...overcome with inconceivable humiliation and outrage. 28 Sept 10 drug free ...  daily psych and emotional torture beginning in the waking hours of the morning receding somewhat in the evening only to start up again the next day. 28 Sept 12 (24 months) Stabilizing  (What an indescribable unimaginable non-functional nightmare). sleep issues start up at 3 yrs  waking daily at 2am -4.30am)28 Sept 15 (5yrs drug free), cf, cmw, insomnia  horrifying pssd continues, still feel Rip van Winkle-ish, cognitively doing heaps better. 28 Sept 16 after 6 yrs start working again on a casual basis.

 

The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.' - Thomas A. Edison

 

“Paroxetine is not safe, it is not effective and it meets every known definition of addictive.” McLaren, N, (2016) 'Psychiatry as bullsh*t’ p55..."Psychiatry is stuffed full of 'deep nonsense' better known as bullsh*t." McLaren 2016

 

"Within the first week of when you go on an antidepressant you may have a sexual dysfunction, it can go on forever, often only appearing when you go off the drug ...its extraordinarily common" Healy 2015

 

See  my intro post #451 for the xanax back story and for a CV -GSKs.  Come on guys get taperwise see a TaperMe Schedule

 For a staggeringly shocking 'prozac back story' see the truth post #523

 

"If I were an enemy combatant and the NZ army did this to me someone would be dragged to the Hague and jailed!"  nz11


#152 AliG

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Posted 31 December 2016 - 04:16 AM

CJ. This is the exact time you shouldn't give up . Sometimes when it gets tough is when you have to " push through " . 8 - 9 months can be excruciating but if you keep going then you can get through this eventually.

 

Sometimes when you are ready to give up is when you are just about to have a breakthrough, maybe. Hang in there. It gets better. How do you know if you're maybe almost there ? You don't so keep going . :)


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#153 CJAJ16

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Posted 31 December 2016 - 08:49 AM

Thank you all for replying to me, all three of your replies made me cry! You've all given me hope again that this is "normal" in WD and that I may still stand a chance of life without drugs.
A lot of ppl have been telling me to go back on the meds and that's it's "fine" to take them when pregnant. It's what's confused me. Left me thinking why am I suffering if I can just take the meds and the baby (when that day comes) will be fine!? BUT deep down that is not what I want at all.

Pepita- I dont remember how I was before this. I was only 14 when I was put on them and I took them for 19 years. I've never known myself without them and that is a very frightening thought.

Thank you again everyone you have all been my lifeline the last 8 months as I've entered a terrifying world of hell.
I'm going to try and keep going. I won't give up yet xx
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#154 Pepita

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Posted 31 December 2016 - 10:08 AM

Ohhhh my god, I did not know that, that's horrible!! Well I am pretty sure you were a lot better without meds and all this WD madness!!!! We all know how quickly you get prescribes meds and it's particarly cruel to do so to a child/teenager! Your brain has to find itself again after sooo many many years. you're really brave!!!!!

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015


#155 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 12:30 PM

I'm getting a bit anxious... has anyone experienced tingling crawling sensation on their skin?? It's in the same place beside my left eye, temple and cheek bone area, been happening for a few weeks now on and off. Is this withdrawal or something else??
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#156 Flowers

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 12:47 PM

Hi CJ

 

I did have a crawling feeling when WD first hit. It felt like I had ants or insects crawling on my arms and sometimes legs. It was very annoying but went of its own accord once things settled down.

 

I also had nervous tics on my face where I could feel muscles jumping around my eyes.

 

I hope this helps and that it goes away soon.

 

xxxxFlowers


15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.

JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs


#157 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:04 PM

Thank you so much for replying!
I'm 8 months since stopping is it still a withdrawal symptom at this stage or is there something really wrong with me?
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#158 AliG

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:22 PM

It's most likely still withdrawal . Happy days.  Hang in there .

 

CJ . what are your symptoms ?


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#159 Flowers

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:26 PM

Thank you so much for replying!
I'm 8 months since stopping is it still a withdrawal symptom at this stage or is there something really wrong with me?

Its nice to meet you CJ. 

 

I would think if you were still experiencing other WD symptoms then it is just one more to deal with  :(.


15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.

JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs


#160 Flowers

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:29 PM

Sorry CJ - just saw that AliG beat me to it! 

 

xxx


15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM
MAY 2014   Increased to 40mgs
SEPT-NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10mgs as per Dr's instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations
 Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.
DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes, limbs, muscle pain, fluct. temp,weakness,depression,anxiety,nausea,giddy,
Walking like I am drunk.
DEC 2014 Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.
DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.
DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. Haven't taken any BROMAZEPAM for 2 weeks +.
APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.

JAN 2016 CIT:Started taper. Reducing by 5%. 28.5mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs


#161 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:31 PM

At the beginning I experienced a whole tidal wave of physical symptoms they settled around the 4-5 months mark. But I've been crippled by the anxiety and depression and dangerous thoughts.

Recently I've had this tingling on my face and also nerve pain on top of my head. Do I just put it down to more fun and joy from withdrawal or be concerned?

Thank you both so much for replying to me btw xx
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#162 AliG

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:47 PM

CJA. It's most likely more : " fun & games "  as a result of withdrawal. I had exactly the same . Now - gone . It's all withdrawal !  


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
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             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#163 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 01:50 PM

You experience the same??
Thank you AliG!
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#164 AliG

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 02:01 PM

CJA.Yes, I did.  I had the " pins & needles" in the head , burning almost everywhere. I had all the same symptoms.

 

 It just disappears eventually. You have to " wait it out ". At the end of the day if this is your biggest symptom then you're doing ok even though it can be very disconcerting at times.  


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#165 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 02:06 PM

You're absolutely right! If I know it's just part of the withdrawal and not something like a brain tumour or disease I can stick it out.
I've had the burning too, on one side of my head which had me bed ridden for two weeks
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#166 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 02:47 PM

AliG- at what stage of your withdrawal did you experience this and at what stage did it stop?
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#167 AliG

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 03:52 PM

Most of my serious symptoms started at around 8 - 9 months from my last Cold Turkey. The " pins & needles" mainly in the head stopped at around 12 months.

 

I saw it as my brain healing.

 

http://survivinganti...-in-your-brain/

 

This thread helped me to understand and stay positive.


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#168 CJAJ16

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 04:06 PM

Thank you for the link I will have a read.
I had no option but to lock myself in a dark room I've never known pain like it! I was crawling the walls in agony. Only on the right hand side of my head, burning, stabbing, tender scalp, couldn't stand the light, so painful. The Dr said it was occipital neuralgia. Very fearful of it flaring my up again.
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#169 CJAJ16

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 08:38 AM

AliG - when you say it was around the 8/9 month mark things got bad for you do you mean this happened during tapering or 8/9 months being off the drug?
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#170 doggiemama

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 09:55 AM

Hi I just want to give you a bit of hope . Sweetheart these things you are describing are all normal. Have you been to a Dr to do tests? Sometimes it will put your mind at rest. I also have bad health anxiety but have learnt that when I'm in a wave I have very bad symptoms of every illness known to man lol. When I'm feeling better all these fears magically disappear. I've been off ADs for 2 and 3 months and I can promise you it does get better. If you can go psychologist it does help but tell them from the start your story and explain that meds are not a option , if they nag you to take leave and find someone else. I found quite a few were adamant that I needed meds to function but I knew that it was withdrawal and refused to take it again. But it really does get better. Try focusing on the baby you are planning to have start planning a room and general things that will get your mind off this hell you are going though now.

#171 Pepita

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 10:06 AM

Hi there! I had this exact same feeling - even on the exact same spots as you're describing several times in my life. 1) in extremely stressful times 2) in Withdrawal. As WD effects the nervous system it is extremely likely to experience this symptom! It will vanish sooner or later, just try not to focus too much on it:))

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015


#172 CJAJ16

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 11:07 AM

Thank you both so much for your reassuring replies. The fact it's lasted so long was really beginning to concern me. I wasn't sure if you could still experience physical withdrawal symptoms 8 months on. But you're all helping me to see that I probably am.
I'm starting therapy on 20th Jan, there's no way I'll be letting them put me back on meds, I've not come this far to give up now
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#173 CJAJ16

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 02:14 PM

Arghhhhhhhh 😩😩😩😩 I'm going Mad. My skin feels like is got insects crawling all over my face and head!! It's tingling in areas all over! What is this?????
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#174 CJAJ16

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 02:11 AM

8 month clear of Lexapro... thought I was through the physical symptoms.
My skin is crawling and tingling. Mainly on my face and head but it's happening all over. Reading what I can find most ppl who experience this have it at the beginning of withdrawal not 8 months in. Is it still possible for it to be withdrawal for me?
Can I do anything like take an antihistamine??

I'm thought the physical symptoms were over, this is so hard 😢😢😢
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#175 scallywag

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 10:34 AM

Yes, people often experience CNS (central nervous system) symptoms months after their last dose. The symptoms are different for each individual.

 

Anti-histamines are neuroactive medications, therefore taking them is risky when you're dealing with symptoms of a destabilized nervous system.  You may find some ideas to cope with the tingling and burning in this topic: Parasthesia: pins & needles, burning, tingling sensations.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
 
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016 20 mg - 7 mg, detailed taper doses in this post;
Current dose:  7.0 mg (65 beads) 2016-Dec-10, holding into February
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction Post

Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#176 CJAJ16

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 12:27 PM

Thank you so much for replying, it's really frightening how physical symptoms can still happen 8 months on.
I'm glad I waited to hear back from you before taking anything to try and stop it.
Started AD aged 14 (1997)
Stopped AD Escitralopram aged 33 (May 14th 2016) weaned down from 20mg to 1mg

I've been on AD since the age of 14, I'm now 33. I've failed many times to WD from each AD I've been on in that period.
I began on 20mg of Seroxat, when I failed to WD using the liquid I was put on Prozac 20mg. I was then left on Prozac for many years until I went through another episode of depression and anxiety. Drs decided Prozac had stopped working so was put in Citralopram 20mg, it made me feel hideous with a racing heart and palpitations. They moved me onto Escitralopram. I honestly can't remember how long I've been on that now but it's over 6 years.
I've been withdrawing for the last couple of years finding it easy enough to get down to 10mg. I stabilised on 10mg for about 9 months then began tapering again using the liquid dropping a line on the syringe at a time for 3-4 weeks. It was a 1ml syringe. I took the last dose of 1mg just over 2 weeks ago. Felt fine for a few days then the head and body shocks began. I've had many other symptoms also irritation, anxiety, panic attacks, vivid dreams, feeling disconnected, headache/migraine, feeling sick, loss of appetite, dizziness, palpitations, emotional, crying spells.
I was left to do this all on my own and my reason for doing this is because my husband and I want a baby but I also want this awful drug out of my system.

#177 AliG

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:24 PM

Hi CJ :

 

AliG - when you say it was around the 8/9 month mark things got bad for you do you mean this happened during tapering or 8/9 months being off the drug?

 

Sorry for not replying earlier. I only just saw this.

 

I did many cold turkeys over the years as I didn't like the side effects from being on the drugs so I was always trying to get off them but I didn't know about tapering or withdrawal.

 

I would manage to get to about the 8 - 9 month mark suffering mainly physical symptoms that I couldn't explain. It was usually about that time when the heavy duty depression would return and I couldn't cope. I would go back to the doctor for a script for a new antidepressant to try. I was looking for the perfect pill with no side effects. LOL.

 

I followed this pattern for years.

 

It was only after my last cold turkey off Valdoxan in May 2014 after I found SA that I realized what had been happening and that each time I had been in withdrawal . It wasn't my original condition returning as I had been told by doctors previously.

 

This time I knew what to expect and I was determined to just get through it. When the depression hit again around that same time I just kept going. I knew it was the only way off this merry go round.

 

It wasn't only depression. I had physical and emotional symptoms too. These changed in a windows and waves pattern throughout my withdrawal. During a wave they would usually all intensify.

 

I found it easier than before as I had the information.

 

I hope that answers your question. That was my experience but it's different for everyone. I hope you get some relief soon.

 

Ali


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell






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