Santino

☼ Santino: How do i keep on the sane side?

228 posts in this topic

My Dear Friends.

 

 

Time for an update. As of yesterday i am legally at 4.5Mg. It is a very stressful period for me actually but i am trying to hold on and continue with the taper.

 

There have been bad days and good days but generally i have felt better. Today i have had a very stressful day and am continuing to struggle but i hope tomorrow will be better. I think that taper makes us stronger but we are very prone to stress and multi process thinking. Our brains tend to get tired very soon and this is something we have to struggle everyday.

 

Stay strong and fight friends.

 

We will make it.

 

Santino

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Santino -- thanks for updating us. Celebrate -- you've come a long way down on your medication and up with your coping skills!

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Hi Santino,

Good to hear that you are doing well.

Keep it up. Take care, Hopefull.

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Good for you Santino for getting down to a low dose (plus getting off the benzo).  I know how hard it is to get there. Please try to slow down a bit as you get even lower so you'll make a nice soft landing. Good luck!

 

Marie

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EMERGENCY SITUATION FRIENDS.... PLEASE HELP.
I accidentally chewed and swallowed a tablet of 30Mg. I am currently at 4.5Mg on my taper. After that went to the toilet and immediately vomited, I drunk hot water 3-4 times and then vomited all of it again until the vomit was clear....

 

Did somebody accidentally updosed in this way and what is the worse thing i can expect...????

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EMERGENCY SITUATION FRIENDS.... PLEASE HELP.

I accidentally chewed and swallowed a tablet of 30Mg. I am currently at 4.5Mg on my taper. After that went to the toilet and immediately vomited, I drunk hot water 3-4 times and then vomited all of it again until the vomit was clear....

 

Did somebody accidentally updosed in this way and what is the worse thing i can expect...????

 

 

not to be gross but were you able to see the tablet in what was vomited up? it sounds like you probably were able to expel the tablet, in which case there should not be any ill effects.

 

if you think you didn't get it all up, then well, it may not be all that bad, even so. I know there are ppl here who made similar accidents and were ok, they had a few rough days I guess but then they were ok

 

I hope it goes well for you. So smart to make yourself vomit, I don't know that I'd be able to do that, myself!

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Santino.   I'm sorry about your mishap. It sounds like you remedied the situation. You may be a little wobbly for a few weeks but hopefully it should be minor.

 

I would just proceed but HOLD for a few extra weeks to let the effects ( if any ) on your CNS settle down. It pays to be extra careful after an episode like this. I hope it goes well for you.

 

Ali

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Dear friends...

 

Thanks for your comments. Due to this mishap i had a very bad sleep last night. Maybe 3 hours of interrupted and today i am at work feeling spaced out.

Let me know whether i should continue at 4.5Mg as usual tonight...?? I hope i have not messed up my taper. I threw up 3-4 times yesterday evening immediately after i chewed the tablet. I was drinking 3 glass of warm water and then threw up fully. I repeated this process maybe 3-4 times. I think most of it has gone out but the lack of sleep and the very tired brain feeling today is really bad.

Help plsss....

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It makes sense to just take your next regular dose when you are due to take it.  That's what I would do.

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Catnapt, AliG, ChessieCat thanks for the answer my friends.

I was not able to see the tablet cause i chewed it as i was eating peanuts and completely forgot that i had the tablet in my hand. Only when i felt the taste in my mouth i became aware of the mistake. At that time i already swallowed most of it. I went to the toilet and spat it out. Provoked throwing up and after i threw up all the food, then i drunk 3-4 glases of warm water and provoked throwing up again. I repeated this process 3-4 times. Anyway after that i did not sleep properly at all and today i feel like damn tired and with a high degree of foggy brain. It is the same foggy brain i had when i was on 7.5Mg and holding at that dose. 
 

For sure tonight i will continue with 4.5 i have no intention to up dose and hope to have a good sleep. Normally it happens after the nights with bad sleep.

Let's see tomorrow how it will unfold. 

What a delusion for me. I was doing somehow normal and now Bam this thing strikes. 

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My dear friends.

My new dose has started since last night. Currently at 4.2Mg. I have had a lot of fatigue lately but i am hoping it will pass. I have also rumination periods but i am managing those somehow. In terms of anxiety and depression things seems ok right now but i am left with a high level of procrastination feelings which do not go away that easy. Fogy brain or sponge wet felt brain may have been present just for very brief moments. I don't get panicked when i sense them now, just wait them to go out. Another good thing is that i can find the forces and can argue with people over different matters... something it would look impossible to me 4-5 months ago.

This has been the worse period of my life... but somehow i have managed to work full time, contribute with as much as i can on growing up my little baby of 8 months already, starting a new small business at my hometown... and managing to only get 10 days of vacation for 2016... (i still have 10 days left to consume.. :-) 

I do not enter in SA very often because the negative stories have a lot of impact on me. Normally just come here to give an update after each drop and record the date of the drop at my signature.

To all the ones taking Mirtazapine... rest assured that healing through a slow taper exists. I am still nowhere near where i want to be but at least I AM A WAY BETTER... I have not seen a psychiatrist since July 2016 and i am not planning to see one in the near future. I am lucky on that direction because in my country i can get Mirt without the need to renew the prescription. Just show in the pharmacy my old prescription and they will just give me as much supply as i want.

Anyway i am continuing to fight my friends.

Be well and fight your fights... There is of course a lot of light at the end of the tunnel.

All the best

Santino
 

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Thanks Santino - these positive updates mean such a lot to all of us. 

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Great to hear Santino.  I too feel better as I get lower and lower on Mirtazapine.  Even though I feel the cuts when I make them, I am starting to feel like myself again though I am a changed person.

 

Keep the faith!

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Hi Santino,

thanks for your encouragement. I`m envious your original dose was only 15mg, I had to start to taper from 30mg. Tapering from higher doses seems to be easier, though. It`s been a piece of cake so far. I would be much better if I didn`t have tinnitus and balance issues. But the lower I get the more careful I must be. I can`t wait to be at 15mg, it is said not to work as an antidepressant at this dose. My pdoc doesn`t interfere in my pace of tapering and I wouldn`t let her either. I don`t even need her for prescribing, my GP can prescribe Mirtazapine as well.

It`s definitely a good idea not to spend so much time here reading horror stories. I don`t do it any more. It was very discouraging, frightening and making me super anxious. I wish you lots of healing all the way down to 0mg!

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Hi Hibari and KarenB

Thanks a lot for your encouraging comments. I am determined to continue and know you can do it. It has been an extremely tough year but i am managing it somehow. Worth to know that even while tapering i have continued to work full time... of course with some problems but can you imagine i did not take half of my vacation days for 2016...??!!! I still have 10 days which i can have this year... :-) I am not sure how i have reached up to this point and hopping to survive.

Aelius

Thanks buddy for your message. You are doing good in avoiding SA for the time being... try to concentrate on worldly things right now. Horror stories are never good. Acceptance of the situation is the key buddy. If you will read my whole thread you will see that in the beginning i was suffering tremendously because it was impossible for me to accept the situation. Now it is different... i notice when i am bad... i tend to ruminate but the "this too shall pass" mantra helps me tremendously. Normally my evenings are almost normal.

Be well and continue with the tapering according to what your body tells you. Remember it is not a race but it can be done. If you are lucky and have less physical problems do not surprise that you might even go faster.  As you might see i have not followed a perfect schedule, i have cut based on my situation and feelings and so far i have managed it. WD from three months of benzos last summer was cruel... i was s... most of the days. Now i am lazy, lack of motivation and feel tired but that's it no other symptoms for the moment. I hope these too diminish with the time. It is spring here and the sun is helping a lot i guess.

All the best

Santino

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Dear friends.

As on 23rd of March i am on 4Mg. I Had to treat myself with a drop for my birthday... :-)

Sleep ok... fatigue is a lot better, no depression, a lot of lack of motivation but i am trying to fight it off. Last week i had some business meeting and i faced the things quite well even though at the start of it i had a bout of intense anxiety that lasted some seconds.

I am starting to believe that things will be good again. A whole year gone for me in a terrible shape but i managed to hold together everything. I sense myself coming back. Of course i still have very bad days... but not as bad as in acute Benzo WD and beginning of Mirt WD.

Keep tight my friends... and continue with the tapering schedules. There is light after this... at least for me there is...

All the best
Santino

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Wonderful news!  And happy birthday too!

 

Thank you for updating your signature.

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My dear Friends.

Feeling better i thought i could handle another drop. Today is my second day on 3.7Mg and i am continuing with that. Second day and i already feel a bit agitated due to mostly situational factors and bad weather... (not sunny) :-(. A part from that the other things are OK. I feel a bit of lack of motivation, low levels of fatigue and pain in the joints and bones, but all those are passable.

Thanks a lot my friends for all the support. I do not know where i would have been without all of you. Sending healing vibes to all of you.

All the best

Santino





 

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You can do it Santino.  Trust your body and it will tell you when to hold and when to go forward.

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My dear Friends

Just a short update.

I am as on 14th of April on 3.4Mg ... i was in my hometown for Easter and i had two good days during the weekend. Okkk not terribly good but normal days. Things look a lot brighter for me.

Anyway today back at work and i already feel some level of tiredness and a bit of brain fog. When this happens i tend to get confused whether i am doing the right thing or not. Anyway currently the brain fog is a lot lesser than in the higher doses. The main problem currently is a lack of motivation and shakiness in the days 3rd up to 8th and 9-th after a drop. Depending on the stress level problems might last a little bit longer.

I am continuing with the drops anyway and i am glad i have reached at the 3.4mg level... last year i would never believe that i was going to make it living free from the meds. Today i see it possible. Anyway 3.4 on the other side is still quite high for me and considering the 10% rule i still have a long time to go. Anyway i am hoping that i will be free soon so i will continue with the taper even not taking the usual one month after each cut. 

Thanks a lot friends fro your support and we are going to make it... I believe

 

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I hear you Santino (thanks for posting on my thread).   I too had a similar pattern with Remeron with a delay in the real symptoms hitting later after I made a cut. 

 

Keep your faith and you will make it! 

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MY Dear Friends


 


I am slowly going down and i am currently at 3.4 hopping to go down to 3.1mg by tonight. It continues to be difficult yes but not impossible. The good days have started to appear more than before and this gives me hope that the end is near.


 


A lot of symptoms like anxiety, depression, non stop rumination, social fear, akathisia, brain fog and inability to take part in discussions have all gone away and i am left with only fatigue on specific days, body pains and some low level rumination on specific days mainly about my situation. On the other front i am continuing to maintain my family, work full time and also follow up my small family business.


 


We never know how strong we are untill we are put into this test. I still wished i never put my feet on that damn doctor's office but some things are written to be this way.


 


Please whatever you do... just try to listen your body. For me the slow taper is the best way to keep stability. I can see the end of the tunnel right now... and also the light just outside of it. I have fought hard for one year and i will stive have to fight hard for some more months but i will make it.


 


The supplements i am taking non stop are Magnesium and Vit c every night before sleep (plus one banana which is natural source of melatonine) and vit d and Omega 3 every morning. 


 


IT IS DOABLE... do not anticipate the fear of not being able to do it. JUST LIVE THROUGH IT.


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Good to hear you are making it through Santino.   You are going to make it all the way. 

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Thanks, Santino. You've learned so much about keeping calm since you started this topic. Good to hear you've learned to manage your taper and your anxiety.

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Hey Hibari

Thanks my friend... i think you are doing too well too. Hope you will be out the woods soon and live your life same as before. Keep on going what an accomplishment for you right now my friend.

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Hi Altostrada

I remember your words related to my job in one of the previous messages. I think you were right. Apart from the WD i know that not liking the job you re doing sooner or later takes its toll. Anyway i am continuing to fight with the feelings and even right now i do not have the net of xanax or alcohol behind me... i know i still can make it. It is extremely tough, but knowing that these thoughts and rumination is temporary helps a lot. The knowledge i have got here about this process is very good. Anyway i do not enter too much in SA nowadays ... just to follow some friends updates like Hibari above and update my signature.

I have not seen a psych doctor since July 2016 and that is good for me my friends.

Good Luck and all the best

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Dear Friends

Another 10% jump... and i am down to 2.8Mg.

I know i am going a bit fast but for the moment the only symptoms i have are either lack of motivation and fatigue on days 7 and 8 after that i pick up again somehow. Anyway i can go a bit faster i guess because i only used Remeron for 50 days at 15 mg and after that i started this 10 months taper. I hope i will become better. Being around here and learning the basics was a bit help about me. Acceptance of the situation is a must and was advised to me time after time and i am glad i did follow this advice and not the doctor's one.

Good luck friends and keep on going. Slow tapering is the key... how slow it is yours to decide. Listen to the body and try to ride the waves.

All the best

Santino

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You are doing it Santino.   It sounds like you are listening to your body and you are going to make it.

 

Sending you good healing. 

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HI Hibari....

Thanks my friend. Be strong. We are going to make it. There are really bad days sometimes but the good ones are soo much worthy to continue the fight on the bad ones. When i see that i have reached 2.8 and feeling much better than in the higher doses... this makes me really happy. 

Benzo free since 9th of June 2016
Mirtazapine tapering from 15Mg in 2.8 in 10 months currently.  

From 6Mb of Bromazepam + 15 Mg Mirtazapine a day to only 2.8Mg Mirt and feeling exponentially better is a great achievement. I envy you at 0 though... :-))))

Good luck 

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You have achieved a lot.  Congratulations! 

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Hello my friends.

I think i am in a tough point right now. Two nights with just 2-3 hours of interrupted sleep. I know the general suggestion is to hold but i am not sure whether this is simply from WD or from a project that i started today at work and i was really dreading with a lot of anticipation anxiety. 

Please let me know what should i do bcs if this thing continues i know i might have problems. Anxiety is starting to go up and i tend to ruminate due to the project as well as the WD an situational factors.

Let me know what should i do at this stage. I do not want to take any benzo... and i am currently taking my normal dose with Vit C and Magnesium before sleep and i also eat one banana for the melatonin. The last two nights i have added a tea of linden and chamomile which helps me drifting off but dreaming and interruptions are a lot.

Please help.....

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It's true that holding is best.  Maybe find some way to work with the anxiety when it's still in it's early stages, and before it gets a chance to build up.

 

Brassmonkey's thread Dealing with Emotional Spirals would be a good read for that.  At times I"ve used EFT with a fair amount of success. 

 

Also, I'd take the vitamin C in teh morning as it's an energy-giving thing.  But magnesium is good in teh evening. 

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Santino, sounds like you are aware that you need to catch up to your cuts.   It is tough to feel anxious and tired but these symptoms are not permanent.  I have experienced them myself and they sound like wd.  

 

Remember you have had periods of feeling all right so you know your body can stabilize again.

 

You can do it!

 

Hibari

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Santino. Sometimes a very small dose of Melatonin can help to reset the sleep cycle. You only need a very small amount as less is more with Melatonin.

 

0.25 mg would be a good starting dose if you wanted to try it.

 

I found it helpful at various times although I didn't stay on it long term.

 

You may also want to try Epsom salt baths. They can help you wind down at the end of the day and induce sleep. 

 

Melatonin for sleep

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AliG hello my friend.

 

I followed your advice and added a plate of cherries in my list of intakes before sleep. Worked like a charm for the second night in a row. I am not out of the woods yet as rumination continues but I can live with that.

My situational factors are not favourable at all but I am pushing through. Let's see how this ordeal will uniwind now...

 

Hibari, KarenB thanks a lot for your inspirational comments. Good luck for you as well..

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Dear friends...

Continuing with another drop. It is less than 10% so i think i will handle it OK. Today my first day on 2.6. When i see my signature i notice how much forward i have gone but i also notice how many precious things i have risked loosing up to now and miraculously i have managed to keep all of them intact. Work, Family, Health, Money and so on are all managed with unbelievable strength and patience from my side. WE NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG WE ARE UNTIL WE ARE TESTED ABOUT IT.

Fight on guys... we will make it... Tough but not impossible.

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