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Radical, Transformative Healing of Body/Mind/Spirit


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#37 GiaK

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Posted 07 November 2016 - 12:39 PM

oh, you're welcome. I never really went anywhere, but I do want to slow down and do other things...but then as I said, I find that I can't even do that as much as I'd like really...

 

today...when I wrote that, I had succeeded in doing a cycling spin class (for 15 minutes before I had to go) but my brain felt like it was opening up in to realms it's not been in for decades...it was emotional to just peddle that damn bike at a high speed...I was a cyclist and an athlete at one time before drugs...my body (MY BRAIN!!) ceased to be able to do stuff like that...and it's coming back...and it's still shocking to me...all these years out...

 

anyway...for those who've not seen it this is it:

 

What will it take to wake up these hacks? – Everything Matters: Beyond Meds https://beyondmeds.c...e-up-the-hacks/


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#38 Chicago77

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Posted 09 November 2016 - 12:35 PM

Gia, 
 
I was on your website again this week and I stumbled upon piece you wrote on CFS. It was very interesting because I feel I don't suffer anymore(or at least haven't in the last 6 months) from the emotional part of withdrawal(anxiety, depression, panic, etc) that so many do on this website.

 

One might think I would be relieved by that and yes I am a little bit, but it's also concerning that I fit right into the Fibro/CFS box and that maybe I'm truly not in withdrawal. My persistent symptoms are pain, brain fog, and chronic fatigue. It's bad!  I can barely concentrate on anything and I feel as though my body is filled with sand.

 

A lot of people that never took psych meds have Fibro/CFS. I sometimes wonder if I'm not in WD and these symptoms were all covered up by the Lexapro that I was on for 15 years. I wonder if this truly will go away with time? Other people who weren't on these drugs have it, aren't necessarily getting better.

 

You talked about the book "CFS- Unravelled" that I'm going to buy today. It looks very interesting and from what you posted it seems as though the author acknowledged that it's possible to develop "Fibro/CFS" when getting off these meds. 
 
Did you have these symptoms as well earlier on in WD?

Did it get better with time?

Did you feel it was definitely related to getting off the meds? 
 
Thanks!  :)


Edited by scallywag, 19 November 2016 - 07:53 AM.
added paragraph breaks for readability

Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 


#39 GiaK

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Posted 09 November 2016 - 03:38 PM

it's all the same stuff with some twists on the manifestation part...that's really what I try to get at...chronic illness...after a certain point has all sorts of the same stuff going on with unique variations that end up getting different diagnosis but are still essentially the same thing at foundation...these are illnesses of autoimmunity and nervous system dysfunction...all of them...they have tons of crossover...it really doesn't matter what you call them. we are not the only ones being poisoned by a toxic environment and a world filled with trauma and abuse. these are mind/body/spirit illnesses and they impact our entire beings...physical, mental, spiritual etc...and they often morph...your experience is not at all unusual...my manifestations have morphed more times than I can count at this point. 


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#40 Chicago77

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Posted 17 November 2016 - 11:38 AM

Thanks for your reply Gia. I'm trying to eat right, exercise and stay away from stimulants, so hopefully my body can heal from this disaster that Lexapro has caused. I guess time will tell. 


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 


#41 btdt

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Posted 18 November 2016 - 07:59 PM

... One might think I would be relieved by that and yes I am a little bit, but it's also concerning that I fit right into the Fibro/CFS box and that maybe I'm truly not in withdrawal. My persistent symptoms are pain, brain fog, and chronic fatigue. It's bad!  I can barely concentrate on anything and I feel as though my body is filled with sand.

 

A lot of people that never took psych meds have Fibro/CFS. I sometimes wonder if I'm not in WD and these symptoms were all covered up by the Lexapro that I was on for 15 years. I wonder if this truly will go away with time? Other people who weren't on these drugs have it, aren't necessarily getting better. ...

http://survivinganti...fatigue-prozac/

 

I took prozac two wks got cfs/fibro dx... 

 

DR Joseph Huggins

"A variable imbalance of three neurotransmitters,serotonin, noradrenalin and dopamine were found to be responsible for generating and sustaining most of the symptoms and signs associated with fibromyalgia." Dr Huggins 

 

I have the pamphlet in my had I got it from a hospital last month.... the only reference I can find to him is here

http://classify.oclc...ins, Joseph E."


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#42 GiaK

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Posted 20 November 2016 - 05:06 AM

Fibromyalgia and bipolar — what’s the link? the drugs – Everything Matters: Beyond Meds https://beyondmeds.c...fibrobipolar-2/

 

that article is from 2011 and still relevant...I saw lots of people coming off drugs getting fibro and CFS diagnosis...they're really garbage pail terms...it's largely why I stayed away from doctors almost entirely. I knew what was wrong with me and I needed to take care of it as I saw fit. Getting my head full of ideas from them (and also from others with the diagnosis) wasn't a good idea...though I've always learned most from those of us with such phenomena going on. But it's also why I always moderated the time in  withdrawal groups as well. Despair is contagious. We need to fuel hope and be with people who give us that too. 


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#43 Chicago77

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Posted 20 November 2016 - 10:31 AM

Yeah I can definitely get a Fibro/CFS diagnosis as well. In fact, two doctors suggested it to me. I understand what you are saying Gia about calling the symptoms whatever you want, but the real question is what is causing or caused these symptoms. I truly believe in my gut that getting off Lexapro caused chronic fatigue, muscle pain, burning skin and brain fog. I NEVER had any of these symptoms prior to meds or during meds. I guess the thing I worry about is if your body can truly heal from these symptoms. Can they go away on their own? Can they go away with time?

 

Did your fibro symptoms eventually go away with time? 


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 


#44 GiaK

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Posted 20 November 2016 - 12:16 PM

we need to learn to listen to and cooperate with our nervous systems...and heal...in the way that they dictate. 

 

these articles might help...but to answer your questions, yes, we heal, it takes time and it's rarely something that happens quickly once we are gravely impacted. I am still healing...I am always getting healthier in ways that actually astonish me...in some ways I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life...in others I still have limitations people would consider being "sick"  ... that doesn't really make sense to me anymore because of the ways I'm healthier than ever...I have a sort of mental clarity that is priceless. ...even while continuing to have physical issues (mostly in the fall and winter -- not as much in spring and summer)

 

Dietary healing has also been critically important for me...again, everyone is individual in their needs so I don't get too specific really...these are some articles about my trip with it: Healing with Whole Foods  -- there are additional links with more info in some of those posts...also look at the top of the site at the drop down menus in the chronic illness section...

 

we need to learn how to live well...frankly none of us know how to live like the part of nature that we are and it's why we end up here in the first place...getting healthy means learning how to be a successful human ANIMAL...society doesn't support that. We need to find it. Anyway...that's what works for me...again, we are all different and what is resonant and works for you will be somewhat to very different. Trust the pull of your heart...it will take you where you need to be to heal. We do need to learn to cooperate with our individual healing process however...that's true for everyone. 


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#45 WiggleIt

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Posted 22 November 2016 - 02:59 AM

<3

-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in October 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014, off-label for pain

-Meds were prescribed for an "autoimmune chronic pain disease."  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but did not find out until AFTER meds had caused total damage.  All med tapers & cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline from May 2012 - Dec 2013

-Desipramine from Jan 2014 - October 2014. 60 mg reduced by 10 mg each month. Held 30 mg for 3 months. Rapid taper over 1 week from 30 mg down to 20, 10, 0

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night in 2011. In 2012, used 1 mg per month or less.  Lorazepam on & off Dec 2013 - Aug 2014, did not exceed 1.5 mg, did not exceed 3x a week

-On desipramine had muscle tremors & rigidity. Were they side effects or withdrawal effects as I reduced desip throughout 2014? Or was I in WD from nortrip as I was on desip? First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs were too stupid to help me figure it out

-Last dosage desip 10 mg on Oct. 29, 2014. Last dose lzpam 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Paradoxical reactions to benzos after quitting TCAs

-Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7 off meds: hair falling out; no improvement in vision; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8 off meds: thrown back to acute, including Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9 off meds: tardive dystonia worsened, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat.
-Month 13 off meds: Back to total acute, brain zaps back, plus developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs are now damaged


#46 Chicago77

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Posted 28 November 2016 - 12:56 PM

Thanks Gia for your insight and the links to the posts on the autonomic nervous system. I need to learn to be patient with my healing which is soooo hard at times. Withdrawal is a scary thing. This is by far the hardest thing both physically and mentally I've ever been through. I will never be the same after this...but maybe that's a good thing.  :)


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 


#47 GiaK

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Posted 29 November 2016 - 05:16 AM

"I will never be the same after this...but maybe that's a good thing."  -- that's pretty much what I've concluded and why I call this a transformative process rather than a recovery process. Recovery implies going back to something that was sound and good...this is far different than that, and for me, far better. I didn't have anything so great before the drugs...not really...most of us that get significant psychiatric labels are in that boat...healing is about transforming (but I think it's true for folks who don't get those labels too, I'm just talking about myself in that instance).  :) 


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#48 Chicago77

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Posted 01 December 2016 - 08:01 PM

Yes I 100% agree this is a transformative process. Even though I'm in the middle of withdrawal I still can tell that I see life, people, experiences completely different than before or during meds. I have such a deep appreciation for life now. Every moment I get that is "pretty good" I cherish and hold it close to my heart because I'm not sure when I'll have it again.


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 


#49 Asjf

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Posted 01 December 2016 - 08:32 PM

That's beautiful. Thanks.
On Zoloft 150mg-200mg from 1991-Nov. 2014. Weaned off over 40+ weeks (too fast unbeknownst to me at the time) Protracted withdrawal began in Jan. 2015 Currently weaning off Lyrica (pregabalin). Started Apr. 2015. titrated up to 400mg/day. <p>"The quality of your life is determined by the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with" -- Anthony Robbins

#50 brassmonkey

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Posted 01 December 2016 - 11:41 PM

"we need to learn how to live well...frankly none of us know how to live like the part of nature that we are and it's why we end up here in the first place...getting healthy means learning how to be a successful human ANIMAL...society doesn't support that"

 

You've nicely summed up 90% of the problems in the world, and stated the answer to them.  From an early age I have strived to "walk softly upon the earth" and been "outcast" for it. But because of it I am happier in my life than most everyone I meet.  Every experience we deal with transforms us in some way so we can never return to being the person we were just five minutes ago.  Accepting our place in the circle of life and working to be content with it will diminish the grief we suffer at our own hands by trying to fight our very nature.


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.16mg 12-31-2016

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#51 GiaK

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Posted 02 January 2017 - 05:32 AM

New Post:

 

Healing a brain injury can hurt very badly. Delusion and dissociation. Herbs, herbs, herbs. – from Everything Matters: Beyond Meds https://beyondmeds.c...g-brain-injury/


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#52 GiaK

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 12:05 PM

Physical, mental, emotional – all ONE (Chinese / Ayurvedic systems have known this for millennia)https://beyondmeds.c...ntal-emotional/


Beyond Meds: http://beyondmeds.com/

I withdrew from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

I took a bit over 6 years to do it. Finished on Feb 9 2010. I'm still recovering from iatrogenesis.


#53 manymoretodays

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 09:19 PM

((((GiaK))))))  Thank you.  I always go and read your stuff........ :blink: :blink: :)


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once?, Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= approx. 1200/day. Magnesium citrate orally,diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C and E.  B12, melatonin 3mcg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=300 mcg. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.

 


#54 Marsha

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 02:57 PM

This process is confusing to me to say the least.
<p>It all started with hashimotos thyroiditis.1994-2012 all the different kinds of antidepressants. 1997 xanax 1.5 klonopin 2006. Geodon started 2003 160 mgs. Many neuroleptics. Seems like l have been on everything. gabapentin 900 mg 2013-present.
librium 75 mg then 60mg 5/15 Tapered trazodone from October 2014 450 mgs to march 2015 0 mgs. Geodon reduced from 80 mg 8/2014 to 0 12/19/15. switched to 3 mgs of clonazepam 11/15. 12/16 2 mg clonazepam. Stopped 88 mcg levothyroxine. Introduced 32.5 mg nature-throid 12/20/16 Horrid reaction to Nature-Throid. Stopped taking after accidentally taking 15 mg clonazepam in stupor. Tapered prevacid 8/16 after 6 six years use.
Supplements:D3 2000 iu. Digestive enzymes, probiotic. No grains, gluten, sugar, dairy.

#55 Mort81

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 05:15 PM

Beyond confusing
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#56 Asjf

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 05:45 PM

I think your ideas on this are absolutely brilliant Monica.
The work you've done during your own recovery has been a constant source of inspiration for me. I've learned a lot from your posts and many of them have led me to look through doorways which have led me to my own personal discoveries.
Thank you. I hope that perhaps we have the opportunity to meet one day and talk in person.
On Zoloft 150mg-200mg from 1991-Nov. 2014. Weaned off over 40+ weeks (too fast unbeknownst to me at the time) Protracted withdrawal began in Jan. 2015 Currently weaning off Lyrica (pregabalin). Started Apr. 2015. titrated up to 400mg/day. <p>"The quality of your life is determined by the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with" -- Anthony Robbins

#57 Mort81

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 06:09 PM

It's the non linear process that makes this so confusing. One day u can walk, the next u can't, 1 day u can talk the next u cant and etc... Round and round we go when this stops nobody knows
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#58 Marsha

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 06:19 PM

GiaK I love reading your info on your site but as with SA i get completely lost and confused and forget. So in order to survive this iatrogenesis of my own I am going to start with Jon Keys. I tried Paul Pitchford but I really need some close supervision and gentle approaches. This is gonna take a while.
<p>It all started with hashimotos thyroiditis.1994-2012 all the different kinds of antidepressants. 1997 xanax 1.5 klonopin 2006. Geodon started 2003 160 mgs. Many neuroleptics. Seems like l have been on everything. gabapentin 900 mg 2013-present.
librium 75 mg then 60mg 5/15 Tapered trazodone from October 2014 450 mgs to march 2015 0 mgs. Geodon reduced from 80 mg 8/2014 to 0 12/19/15. switched to 3 mgs of clonazepam 11/15. 12/16 2 mg clonazepam. Stopped 88 mcg levothyroxine. Introduced 32.5 mg nature-throid 12/20/16 Horrid reaction to Nature-Throid. Stopped taking after accidentally taking 15 mg clonazepam in stupor. Tapered prevacid 8/16 after 6 six years use.
Supplements:D3 2000 iu. Digestive enzymes, probiotic. No grains, gluten, sugar, dairy.