Dini, how long have you been going through the process of withdrawal? I wanted to read your history but couldn't see it? I have been going through a reinstatement at a small dose for almost a year now. I began my too fast taper, ten months before the RI. I am waiting for good and steady as I crashed. Not there yet. I know and I agree. These drugs are so powerful. The majority of MD,s have no clue, none whatsoever!!!!! The drug companies are making billions so they obviously have a very greedy interest to keep people on. Do you know I found that for the FDA to approve a drug to market, the drug company has to only provide 2 trials that show only. Modest improvement on the criteria scale they use, they can fail 20 trials on the same drug and just keep going until they show a modest improvement on something and also, there are no long term trials done the majority of the time. They file all the failed trials and no one sees them. Certainly not the community and neither the physicians. It is criminal as far as I am concerned!!!! Not sure what one does with it???? Takes all one has to get off at this time. Yes, you are right, we must walk through as hard as it is. I too do not tolerate the stress the way I used to. Not even close right now. I know what you mean One step at a time. I love what RCC said, we walk a thousand miles, one step at a time.
Hmm that's weird. I can post it here just in case you can't see it on my page.
Well, for me I was put on generic Zoloft (Sertraline) at 25mg while I was pregnant with my second baby. It was maybe two months before I had my second child, so around January 2014 or maybe even end of December 2013 I was put on Sertraline for "sleep problems and situational/anticipatory anxiety" that was making it hard for me to get enough zzz's and my doc at the time said sleep was extremely important due to my being pregnant. I cannot believe she actually thought putting me on an SSRI was ever a good idea, especially for the reason she did it. I never had depression or any mental illness. I would have anxiety during times of high stress (new baby, money problems, car broke down etc) but nothing I couldn't handle, and I always felt normal in the midst of that chaos. Oh yes I'd had some panic attacks as a child (due to religious ideation my parents raised me in), and one after a very traumatic experience where I was almost killed by an ex boyfriend years ago, but those were so rare, and they didn't get in the way of my daily life, and once the "threat" passed it was done. And honestly, while I was on Sertraline I didn't feel any different. I just felt super tired, unmotivated and less sexual. This was not at all like me. But otherwise it hadn't changed much, and actually I can recall it seemed to give me anxiety. I remember times where I'd freak out over a dark spot on a tooth fearing a cavity only to brush my teeth and realize it was from something I ate or drank. Stuff like that that was very out of character for me before Sertraline.
Long story short, I never needed a drug like Sertraline. I didn't know anything about it though, and I can't really say why I was so ignorant but I kept taking it and even took the higher doses my new doctor gave me, assuming I still needed it for some reason or otherwise the doc wouldn't keep upping my doses, right? Well, I figured out that Sertraline was messing with my hormones BIG TIME. Weight gain, insulin resistance out of the blue, (to the point that I couldn't diet on water and cucumbers to lose weight, it was pretty bad) my libido was shot the entire time I was on it, I was always tired on it too even if I took it at night, and I was starting to get strange cystic type acne. I've never had a pimple in my life, not even as a teen, so I knew this was really strange, it wasn't normal. I did some research on Sertraline and found out two years later it was an SSRI. I still didn't know what an SSRI was, though, because I'd google it but there was very biased info on it, as well as withdrawing, so I assumed "Oh ok I can just stop taking this stuff. No biggie." I spoke to my doc about going off of it and he had me on a 6-8 month taper. I can't really remember how long I tapered but it was extremely fast, and he had me just jump right off on 25mg and not even taper the 25mg. My last dose was sometime around the 1st of July 2016.
So I had withdrawal symptoms the entire time, even while tapering, but I didn't recognise them as withdrawal, and if I did my doc said they'd be gone in about 3 weeks or so, so I waited it out trusting his advice. Well... Two and a half months after my last dose, the major hideous withdrawals kicked in. My life crashed middle of September 2016. I had been dealing with a ton of extra stress at the time (and to be honest, was dealing with a lot of stress a couple months before too), and I believe that is what put my CNS overboard. At this point I didn't know anything much about withdrawal, and because my doctor assured me "it's just your symptoms coming back" I thought okay I AM just going crazy. I felt hopeless and scared and lost and confused for four months before happening upon an article I found through Google from a psychiatrist who mentioned SA in his article, and I checked it out and my jaw dropped to the floor. See, my doctor and his medical team had basically assured me numerous times that our brains are changing constantly and so of course I could develop OCD/Bipolar/panic disorder over night, because I mean that's their theory. It's such bologni. Especially if you have no history of this stuff in the first place prior to going on these drugs, how is it when you stop all of a sudden you develop all these symptoms that were never there before taking it?
I have no faith in the medical field at all. None. Nada. Zilch.
Because not only would my doc not reinstate Sertraline, he decided it'd be a good idea while I was in WD to start testing out other drugs on me. The first was Lexapro, the second was Buspirone. I had to beg him to put me back on Sertraline. It was ridiculous. I am just first stabilising. He then kept messing with my doses. Up, up, up, up, then up down, up down, up down. I finally put my foot down after learning about WD and am staying at 57mg right now. It's a pain in the butt cutting these tablets so precisely but I have to do it or suffer WD symptoms trying to get back to 50mg right now. I no longer have the crippling depression or the major panic attacks that came with WD before reinstating, and my sleep has greatly improved since. So I assume reinstatement is working. Finally. But I also know I am on way too high a dose too. But there is nothing I can do about that right now. When it comes to WD and treatment of WD, we have to be our own advocates or else we will suffer a ton more than necessary trying to get off this stuff. I am so glad I found SA, because it made me realize what went wrong, why, and how to fix it. I think the worst thing a person in WD can be told is "you developed a mental disorder and there is no cure, good bye." by their doctor. That's basically what I was told in September, and every month ever since. When I would question the drug (Sertraline) my doctor's response was that I was the issue, not the drug.
I just cannot wait to get all the way off this stuff. I have to keep reminding myself to be patient. :-/
January 2014 put on 25mg Zoloft (Sertraline) for what my OBGYN called "hypertension" because I was pregnant at the time she said to take it for sleep.
(This entire time, even while on it, I knew absolutely NOTHING about SSRIs or what they did or why I was even on it once my pregnancy was done).
New doctor kept titrating my dose every 12 months, (from 25mg for one year, to 50mg second year, to 75mg for 6 months or so) but I hated the side effects (fatigue and no sex drive etc) didn't need it so decided I wanted to get off of it.
April 2016: Started fast taper from 75mg Sertraline, then cold turkeyed off 25mg (per doctor's instruction) end of June 2016, one week before the fourth of July.
July 2016 - August 2016: Had a "honeymoon" phase with mild WD symptoms for 3 months, had my libido back and more energy to do things again etc.
September 20, 2016: Got hit with a massive wave and WD symptoms (did not know about WD at the time). Called my doctor who had originally taken me off Sertraline and his only response was "it's your symptoms coming back." I was refused to be reinstated on Sertraline, was put on Lexapro for two weeks instead, had bad reaction, was switched right to Buspirone 30mg for two weeks, had awful vertigo and nausea as side effects so begged doctor to allow reinstatement of Sertraline, was reinstated on Sertraline October 26 2016 started first week 12.5mg, while still tapering Buspirone, doctor ordered titration each week from 12.5mg-50mg, had awful WD symptoms for 3 months during reinstatement, just first feeling stabilization in month 4.