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Agoraphobia


Denstar51

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I just read through this post and Dani you sound like me! I am now just going into my 3rd month off.  Did it get better for you?  How is everyone else doing?

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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  • 1 month later...

Dani I am going through Zoloft withdrawal now and can relate. I'm supersensitive to sunlight and have a hard time leaving my home. It's almost like I can't stand being seen by other people and it creates a bizarre fear, like I'll be attacked. So, fear paranoia, inexplicably so at times. I think our entire physiology has been severely compromised by wd from this evil drug. Only place I feel safe is in bed.

off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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Also, I experienced quasi psychotic depression two months in Zoloft wd. I'm now seven months off and psycho depression has lifted, only because I started latuda I think,10 mgs. Won't comply with crazy doc and take 20 or 40 mgs of this stuff. I take just enough to somewhat abate my symptoms

off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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Thank you. It's anxiety/fear commingled so I am effectively disabled. I'm going to go live with family and I need to pack and throw stuff out I'm having a hard time leaving my bed to do anything because bed is where I feel safe. I feel so unsafe

off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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My fears and agoraphobia started at a young age and it was situation-specific. My meds escalated the fears and agoraphobia and ssri use made these almost permanent fixtures in my brain.my nervous system and neurotransmitters have been hijacked I know it. I'm fearful of going through paperwork!

off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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This seems to be a "withdrawal symptom". I know I have it , as well.  For me it seems to wax & wane , according to "windows & waves".  Sometimes, it's not a problem to go out, & other times, it's "unthinkable".  It makes life , very hard.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Are you afraid of people like me? See, it's situation specific with me. Now that I'm going through wd this fear and paranoia (that I believe was caused by childhood bullying) has become a present trauma

In effect I am afraid of being attacked.

off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Some posts were moved from this topic to: Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • 7 months later...

I feel slightly better after reading these comments. Before this drug interaction, I would say I have had a touch of agoraphobia, eg. when I went overseas. But it has never impacted on my daily living. 

 

I think what is happening to me is what neuroplastic has said. Because I have been suffering from DP/DR the last couple of weeks (never had it this severe before). I just can't cope going out. I find it incredibly frustrating because going out and going for day trips has helped my recovery. I tried to force myself to go out, but it was like this major sensory overload. Have never felt like this before. Hopefully once the DP/DR settles down It will slowly improve.

[*]At 15 years was put on 50mg of Zoloft for generalized anxiety and panic disorder.

[*]2006 Tried to withdrawal from 50mg . Doctor told me I would have no trouble. I tampered over about a month (50mg-0) which left me with severe and debilitating withdrawal symptoms. Doctors put my dose up to 75mg mistaking my withdrawal symptoms as a relapse. Stayed on Zoloft 75mg since 2006.

March 2015- adverse reaction between Zoloft (75mg) an antibiotic and anti nausea drug resulting in debilitating symptoms/recovery identical to withdrawal. Have not altered or changed dose since 2006.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm struggling terribly with agoraphobia. Sometimes even the stimulation from looking out the window can send my anxiety through the roof. That seems to have gotten a bit better recently though.

 

I'm fortunate to have a dog and when I am the only person home I have to take her out to go to the bathroom. Sometimes I do ok and other times I can't wait to get back inside.

 

I try to go out in the evenings when it isn't as bright out or hot out and then I try to stay outside for as long as I can. I have also started trying to make myself take our dog for a walk around the block. I make it a goal but I can't always go through with it. I'm hoping that the more often I can accomplish it the less agoraphobia I will have and the more often I will be able to complete the task. Hopefully it turns into a kind of snowballl and the agoraphobia itself will receed. Unless it's just a withdrawl symptom that is purley based on time. It never hurts to get outside though.

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

 I tried to force myself to go out, but it was like this major sensory overload. Have never felt like this before. Hopefully once the DP/DR settles down It will slowly improve.

 

This is what caused my withdrawal related agoraphobia too and as my withdrawal symptoms have been diminishing, its been getting easier to go outside.

 

I've had problems with sensory overload, neuro-emotions and DP/DR, so going outside was an experience similar to what I imagine a bad drug trip would be like. Until I found this site, and learned what was happening to me, I forced myself to go out and 'face my fears', which I regret doing, because now I'm having to overcome the trauma and bad memories of how awful it was. It never got better by forcing myself, in fact it caused more stress.

 

The difference between regular agoraphobia and the kind most of us get in withdrawal is this...

 

Regular agoraphobia is based on an irrational fear, like the fear of a particular place that is actually safe, the fear of having a panic attack in public, the fear of something bad happening and not being able to escape and numerous other imagined horrors. And because these fears are based on something not real, CBT and graduated exposure can often work to cure or minimize this kind of agoraphobia.

 

But in withdrawal, agoraphobia is usually based on something valid, there is a good reason why going out is difficult. Extreme symptoms make it very uncomfortable, increased sensitivity to light, sound, movement and temperature changes can be almost unbearable, so we end up feeling more stress, which then increases anxiety levels further causing even more hyper-sensitivity. Cognitive issues can make it difficult to drive, find our way around, manage tasks and communicate with other people. Our very real emotional and physical state and problems with functioning in a normal way, can make us feel vulnerable and at risk of not being able to cope with whatever we might encounter while being out of our controlled environment at home.

 

I remember one morning trying to force myself out for a walk. I didn't want to leave the sound, light and temperature controlled environment of my room. But I told myself it was good for me and forced myself to get dressed and go out. It was hot and my body wasn't regulating temperature well, so my stress level increased. It was too bright outside, even with sunglasses, I couldn't see properly, everything looked weird increasing my feelings of vulnerability. The sounds of cars seemed magnified and they made me jump. I got to the park and looked down at the ground and saw a swarm of ants circling around the entrance to a nest, it triggered a huge neuro-emotion, a wave of fear completely out of proportion to the ants, then my thoughts and anxiety started spiraling out of control and I got images of ants swarming over everything, infesting every nook and cranny of the world, and this image and fear accompanied me the whole time I was trying to do my little nature walk. When birds flew overhead, I jumped and the movements of leaves on trees startled me, my nature walk was far from relaxing, it was traumatizing.

 

But these days, I'm not so sensitized, especially later in the day and my DP/DR has reduced, so going outside generally doesn't make me feel worse now, unless I'm having a particularly bad day. But because I spent over a year, forcing myself to get out there and just get on with it, in spite of it making me feel worse, I'm now having to work to overcome the bad memories and trauma of that.

 

So my advice is if you have withdrawal symptom induced agoraphobia, be gentle with yourself, don't do anything which makes you feel worse. When you recover and feel better, you will be able to do more.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for this topic. Rhi, I agree with you that sometimes I need to push myself to get out. And Petunia I agree with you too that to push myself too hard often feels counter productive.

 

I didn't really experience much agoraphobia until my "get off meds" experience in 2014. Since then at times I feel it mildly, like a discomfort perhaps due to increased sensitivity of my senses. But I've also experienced it in a much more paranoid way (I guess is how I would describe it) like the world in general just is not a safe place and somehow I'm a target.

 

Petunia, you also also said something that I haven't heard anyone else say before. You said something like agoraphobia being like what you would imagine a bad trip being. THAT is how I have tried to describe my panic attacks to people, very much like a bad trip on a halucinegen (which I have experienced). I don't worry about having a heart attack or suffocating (no physiological fears like that) for me my brain fogs over and it feels scary, like I'm going insane, and like it won't ever end. I assume this is what others experience when using the term derealization? I'm going to do a search on that topic and explore further, but thought I'd note here since you mentioned it here.

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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Petunia,

 

Your description of withdrawal agoraphobia is so eloquent. It describes exactly how I felt when I first went into withdrawal. I don't know how you were able to force yourself outside. I hid in our basement which has no windows and dimmer switches on the lights. I only went out for doctors appointments. I was so hyper-sensitive to the light that I couldn't open the shades on the windows to let the sun in. 

 

I have been fortunate to have some windows that have allowed me to go outside recently but I find I still have to be careful because I am easily overstimulated. Just yesterday I became overstiumulated and found myself dealing with anxiety for the rest of the day and today I am back in the basement. Of course I was in a wave already when I went out yesterday but it is amazing how quickly we can go from feeling like we are doing ok to feeling overwhelmed and needing to extricate ourselves from the situation we are in, which isn't always easy.

 

I also find that evenings are the easiest time to go outside especially if I am in a wave. 

 

Elbee,

 

I've never experienced a bad trip but I have had many panic attacks. I never worried about it being a heart attack either I was just terrified and couldn't figure out why. Sometimes I felt like there was some darkness that was trying to get me, a sense of doom. Always wanted to run away or for someone to help me, save me.

 

Interestingly when I first had panic attacks I was agoraphobic for a short while, about two weeks. I was just terrified to leave the house. I guess that's why I recognized that this agoraphobia was different and due to the hyper-sensitivities I was/am experiencing. 

 

As far as my current agoraphobia I find that even with being less sensitized I have a hard time going anywhere by myself. I agree with NJJ, it is very frustrating because I am an outdoorsy type of person who loves to go for bike rides, kyaking, hiking and I like to travel as well. Sometimes I watch TV and I feel so jealous of the people outside enjoying life. I want to be out there doing those things too, but the idea is terrifying. Lots of emotions just from watching a TV commercial!!

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for sharing your experience with this tntd. And yes, I too can relate to experiences of agoraphobia focussed on sensory overload (as opposed to perhaps more generalized fear).

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 Sometimes I watch TV and I feel so jealous of the people outside enjoying life. I want to be out there doing those things too, but the idea is terrifying. Lots of emotions just from watching a TV commercial!!

 

Yes, its the same for me, I can't handle the waves of envy, anger, confusion and anxiety I get, just from watching a 30 second ad for a car, and its got nothing to do with the car, I'm sure this is part of the reason I've stopped watching TV completely.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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 Sometimes I watch TV and I feel so jealous of the people outside enjoying life. I want to be out there doing those things too, but the idea is terrifying. Lots of emotions just from watching a TV commercial!!

 

Yes, its the same for me, I can't handle the waves of envy, anger, confusion and anxiety I get, just from watching a 30 second ad for a car, and its got nothing to do with the car, I'm sure this is part of the reason I've stopped watching TV completely.

 

 

The way I have found around this problem is that I watch TV with my smartphone in hand and during the commercials I do something else so I don't notice what is going on. Also I watch Netflix which has no commercials. 

 

I an unfortunately in a pretty bad wave and though I have a goal of walking my dog everyday I have become housebound again. Hiding in the basement.

 

My psychologist said he thinks that the hypersensitivity is cumulative when I'm feeling ok so even when I feel able to go out I need to be careful not to overstimulate and put myself into another wave. Does anyone else find this to be the case for them?

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • 6 months later...

Well it's a new year and things have gotten worse for me. I was starting to get lots of windows and was starting to enjoy life again and then around the end of September, the begining of October everthing went downhill. It was like I was cold turkeying again. I have only had about four one day windows since October so I have been in the house except when I leave for dr appointmens. Unfortunately I couldn't even make myself go to my dr appointments yesterday. 

 

I'm starting to feel very isolated and lonely. I'm not sure how to combat feeling lonely. I spoke with my sister on the phone all day yesterday but I am still really lonely today. I have started tapering my benzo because my dr and Wellness thought that I had reached tolerance and it was making things worse now and not better. Unfortunately because of the cold turkey I did my CNS is so sensitive that I can only taper tiny amounts occasionally. It looks like it may take many years to taper off of the benzo. That wouldn't be so bad if not for the agoraphobia. Being housebound is making it extrememly difficult. I don't know what to do. 

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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There are days when I can get out and about around town with very little trouble at all, other days I have moderate anxiety and some days I can't even face the door at all. According to Claire Weekes this falls within the definition of mild agoraphobia. I note that some people on here are so sensitive they can't even face bright sunlight, I must say I've never been affected by this but noises such as car horns etc do rattle me to the core at times.

May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

 

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.

March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.

23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg

23.07.16 40.5mg 23.08.16 36.45mg 27.09.16 34.65mg 24.10.16 32.90mg 28.11.16 31.26mg 04.01.17 32mg 25.02.17 31mg 22.03.17 30mg 14.04.17 29mg 09.05.17 28mg 07.06.17 27mg 08.06.17 26mg 13.07.17 25mg 07.08.17 24mg 24.08.17 23mg 13.09.17 22mg 12.10.17 21mg 10.11.17 20mg 04.12.17 19mg 01.01.18 17mg 25.01.18 15mg 22.02.18 13.5mg 25.03.18 12.15mg 

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Well it's a new year and things have gotten worse for me. I was starting to get lots of windows and was starting to enjoy life again and then around the end of September, the begining of October everthing went downhill. It was like I was cold turkeying again. I have only had about four one day windows since October so I have been in the house except when I leave for dr appointmens. Unfortunately I couldn't even make myself go to my dr appointments yesterday. 

 

I'm starting to feel very isolated and lonely. I'm not sure how to combat feeling lonely. I spoke with my sister on the phone all day yesterday but I am still really lonely today. I have started tapering my benzo because my dr and Wellness thought that I had reached tolerance and it was making things worse now and not better. Unfortunately because of the cold turkey I did my CNS is so sensitive that I can only taper tiny amounts occasionally. It looks like it may take many years to taper off of the benzo. That wouldn't be so bad if not for the agoraphobia. Being housebound is making it extrememly difficult. I don't know what to do.

Hi tntd

 

I am not sure of the area where you live but are you able to go out somewhere peaceful like a country or park walk? I think that this is a lot to do with overstimulation so anything noisy or crowded with people wouldn't help. It sounds like you feel safe in your basement.

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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There are days when I can get out and about around town with very little trouble at all, other days I have moderate anxiety and some days I can't even face the door at all. According to Claire Weekes this falls within the definition of mild agoraphobia. I note that some people on here are so sensitive they can't even face bright sunlight, I must say I've never been affected by this but noises such as car horns etc do rattle me to the core at times.

Hi Lakelander

 

I am just the same with regards to dealing with going into town. When I am in a wave I cannot tolerate noise just from the TV. Fast, noisy motorbikes or like you car horns send me reeling! I think it is because our nerves are all jangled and we don't want it to get worse by going outside where we are not in control.

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Hi Flowers,

 

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm one of those people that has trouble facing the door and even trying to leave the house. You are right though that it is due to overstimulation. 

 

My daughter has been telling me about a park she thinks I would like. I will have to ask her how busy it is and how noisy it is. I live in a big city and can't seem to get away from the noise much. We just moved from a smaller city and it was quiet almost everywhere compared to where I live now. 

 

Yes, the basement has no windows so it is very quiet and it is a place to get away from the activities of my family if I'm having a bad day. 

 

When I'm in a window I can go out without any problems but I haven't been getting windows for awhile now. I think I may have had one a month for the past four months. It's been over a month since I had one now though. 

 

Hugs and healing 

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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Hi Flowers,

 

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm one of those people that has trouble facing the door and even trying to leave the house. You are right though that it is due to overstimulation. 

 

My daughter has been telling me about a park she thinks I would like. I will have to ask her how busy it is and how noisy it is. I live in a big city and can't seem to get away from the noise much. We just moved from a smaller city and it was quiet almost everywhere compared to where I live now. 

 

Yes, the basement has no windows so it is very quiet and it is a place to get away from the activities of my family if I'm having a bad day. 

 

When I'm in a window I can go out without any problems but I haven't been getting windows for awhile now. I think I may have had one a month for the past four months. It's been over a month since I had one now though. 

 

Hugs and healing

I understand totally how you must feel living in a big city. So hard to find solace. One day you will get a window and feel like exploring the park. I am in a wave too and it limits me to what I can do as can't stand much going on around me. I hope you have a window really soon.

 

I wish you hugs and healing too.

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Hi Flowers,

 

Thank you for your support. I'm sorry to hear you are in a wave too. Not being able to stand much going on around us really makes things difficult. 

 

I hope your wave is short and you can get back out and doing things. 

 

Do you work?

 

Hugs to you and always healing energy.

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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I dislike large cities, went to NYC for a holiday once and couldn't wait to get out of it. Far too manic and helter skelter for my liking. Smaller cities like Belfast or Dublin aren't so bad. I like living in my small town of 2800, it's got two major outdoor facilities close at hand that cater for water sports and equestrian but also the general runner, dog walker or mountain biker. In May time the two places are blooming with wild garlic and various wild flowers and in September/October the Hazelnuts and Chestnuts have fallen off the trees and the blackberres are ripe for picking.

In my opinion, large urban areas are much tougher on our nervous systems especially those in withdrawal from Psychiatric medication.

May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

 

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.

March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.

23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg

23.07.16 40.5mg 23.08.16 36.45mg 27.09.16 34.65mg 24.10.16 32.90mg 28.11.16 31.26mg 04.01.17 32mg 25.02.17 31mg 22.03.17 30mg 14.04.17 29mg 09.05.17 28mg 07.06.17 27mg 08.06.17 26mg 13.07.17 25mg 07.08.17 24mg 24.08.17 23mg 13.09.17 22mg 12.10.17 21mg 10.11.17 20mg 04.12.17 19mg 01.01.18 17mg 25.01.18 15mg 22.02.18 13.5mg 25.03.18 12.15mg 

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Hi Lakelander, 

 

It sounds so beautiful. The "city" I just moved from was about 40,000 people so quite a few more but we lived near the lake which had a large park around it. We also lived on a dead end street. Most of my life I have lived in the country or small towns. I have never lived anywhere as large as the city I live in now so not only am I in withdrawal I'm trying to adjust to the noise and constant motion going on all around us. It's no wonder I have such severe agoraphobia. Even in my house I can hear the constant drone of vehicles and trains. We told the realtor we wanted to live in a quiet neighborhood but the market was moving so fast that every time we found a place like that it was gone by the time we could get in to see it. 

 

My husband doesn't mind so much as he grew up in a big city, or right outside of one, so he kind of likes it. I've always been noise sensitive and withdrawal has made it so much worse. I have to say I had six months living here before I went into withdrawal and I was starting to find my way around and the area we live in is nice, though noisy, and I was starting to enjoy it. I didn't have enough time to make close friends before I became agoraphobic though so the lonliness is killing me. 

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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Hi Flowers,

 

Thank you for your support. I'm sorry to hear you are in a wave too. Not being able to stand much going on around us really makes things difficult. 

 

I hope your wave is short and you can get back out and doing things. 

 

Do you work?

 

Hugs to you and always healing energy.

Thank you for your good wishes.

 

I was able to return to work a few months after WD first hit but have been unable to work during this wave. My husband and I are self employed so if I can't work it doesn't really matter. But I miss the company of others and the sense of achievement that my work brings. Just feel like a total failure at the moment but I am sure that is the neuro emotions!

 

I am able to get out for a short walk each day but where I live is very peaceful and coastal.

 

Hope you have a not too bad day.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Hi Flowers,

 

It sounds so beautiful where you are. 

 

I really miss being able to get out and around other people. I really think we need the interaction but I also think our bodies are telling us it's too much. I really know what you mean about feeling like a failure. I'm feeling the same way. I have been trying to crochet and make blankets for homeless shelters and batterd women shelters. That makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose. I have to be feeling well enough to do it though so it's slow going. 

 

What type of business do you and your husband own?

 

Hugs

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • 2 months later...

I'm going through a very difficult Klonopin taper and have been in tolerance withdrawal for a long time. At some point I developed bad agoraphobia and my comfort zone has shrunk and shrunk to the point where just leaving my bed is difficult. I have read that this can be a side effect of benzos that goes away once the taper and any withdrawal passes but I just wonder if there's anything I can do to deal better with it. For anyone who has experienced it, what did you do? Did you try exposure therapy and at least sitting outside? This in addition to my social anxiety getting much, much worse is taking a toil on me mentally and I hate feeling so powerless. I'm really just looking for advice as I have no idea how to deal with this.

Edited by scallywag
merged topics

Put on Ativan in December of 2012 and told to take three pills daily. I believe it was 1.5 mg's.

 

Switched to Xanax in April of 2013. I believe it was 1.0 mg's.

 

Switched to 1 mg Klonopin in August of 2013 gradually updosed until I reached 2.5 mg's in December of 2015.

 

Began 10% dry/liquid microtaper in February of 2016 at 2.5 mg's. I liquefied .5 mg's at a time in 100 mL's of milk while removing at first 1.2 mL's a day while taking the rest dry until arriving at roughly 1.75 mg's when I switched to .6 mL's a day.

 

10/31/16 - at 1.5 mg's. Currently holding taking whole dose dry. 11/03/16 - Bad side effects, updose to 2 mg's 11/30/16 - Failed substitution with Valium. Doctor wouldn't do crossover and did not give proper equivalency. Did not go well. Also briefly on Gabapentin for about 2 weeks at 150-300 mg's 12/04/16 - Back to 2 mg's of Klonopin 12/27/16 - Reinstated to 2.5 mg K. Symptoms at all time worst. Completely non functional.

 

Have been briefly on and off of many other SSRI's and psych meds including Prozac, Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Lamictal. They were all very low dosages and the only one that I was on for more than a few days is Celexa which I got up to 10 mg's for roughly two months and tapered off of.

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Hi Fuzzy,

 

Welcome to SA.

 

Every time I tried to go out and the terror attacks would hit me but I forced myself to go out anyway I ended up feeling worse the next day. I've read that some people think we should try exposure therapy but Dr Ashton said that in her experience it wasn't successful even with a therapist helping the person. Do you find that you are super sensitive to stimulus, like noise, light, motion? If so I think the agoraphobia is our body's way of trying to protect us from that.

 

Are you able to do anything? I know you said music is too stimulating, is that still the case? Can you watch TV or play non-violent video games? I found a stupid game that is really non-stimulating called Diggy's Adventure. It's on my tablet but my husband has joined me in playing it on his phone. Not a lot of thought to the game but it is helpful in distracting.

 

I really hope you get more input as you've probably heard enough from me. :D  

 

Stay strong.

 

Hugs and healing

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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Some days I am super sensitive to stimulus but overall I just am freaked out because everything and everyone feels so foreign because of the months/years of DP/DR. I used to try and force myself to take a wake everyday but it wasn't ever getting any easier so I stopped and any therapist I talk to doesn't understand benzo tolerance or withdrawal and just forces me to try exposure therapy which as you said does nothing for me in this state. It's so frustrating, I'm used to being so active so being sedentary is so hard to accept and I feel like I'm going crazy especially because lately I can't even comfortably watch TV or play video games or listen to music so I just sleep all day. I don't know how anyone can live this way. I'm so depressed, I just ruminate on every thing from my past that lead me to where I am now and how easily it all could have been avoided. 

Put on Ativan in December of 2012 and told to take three pills daily. I believe it was 1.5 mg's.

 

Switched to Xanax in April of 2013. I believe it was 1.0 mg's.

 

Switched to 1 mg Klonopin in August of 2013 gradually updosed until I reached 2.5 mg's in December of 2015.

 

Began 10% dry/liquid microtaper in February of 2016 at 2.5 mg's. I liquefied .5 mg's at a time in 100 mL's of milk while removing at first 1.2 mL's a day while taking the rest dry until arriving at roughly 1.75 mg's when I switched to .6 mL's a day.

 

10/31/16 - at 1.5 mg's. Currently holding taking whole dose dry. 11/03/16 - Bad side effects, updose to 2 mg's 11/30/16 - Failed substitution with Valium. Doctor wouldn't do crossover and did not give proper equivalency. Did not go well. Also briefly on Gabapentin for about 2 weeks at 150-300 mg's 12/04/16 - Back to 2 mg's of Klonopin 12/27/16 - Reinstated to 2.5 mg K. Symptoms at all time worst. Completely non functional.

 

Have been briefly on and off of many other SSRI's and psych meds including Prozac, Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Lamictal. They were all very low dosages and the only one that I was on for more than a few days is Celexa which I got up to 10 mg's for roughly two months and tapered off of.

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I was lucky, I got my therapist to accept that the agoraphobia was due to the benzo withdrawal. Of course I'm not his only benzo patient so he may have input from others. I still can't get my psychiatrist to accept it though. He wants me to do exposure therapy too. I also go to a DBT group and the psychologists think that exposure therapy works in w/d too. It is so frustrating.

 

I'm glad you can sleep at least. My anxiety is too high and I can't sleep. I have to distract myself. I've been holding for a couple of months now and things are a little better. I wish you could hold and find some relief too. 

 

Have you checked out the non drugs coping techniques in symptoms and self care? I don't know if you would find anything helpful but you never know you might find something that helps you. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

There's also this thread http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3533-acceptance/I find acceptance pretty hard but when I can manage it it really does help a lot. 

 

Rumination is part of the w/d. I think we all look at what happened that led us to where we are and wish we could change things. We just need to keep going forward. Are you still tapering?

 

I'm thinking of you,

 

Hugs and healing  

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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I'm just holding for right now. I had a failed attempt to crossover to all liquid last week as my body just doesn't seem to be able to handle it so I don't know what else to do besides hold. I was supposed to have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow but he texted me saying he hasn't recovered from surgery that he had on Friday and switched our appointment to this upcoming Thursday. I want to explore my options with him and talk about maybe trying a compounding pharmacy or a Valium crossover. I truly don't know what to do I feel very, very stuck so I just stay in bed all day sleeping or listening to podcasts/relaxation tapes. Barely eating, afraid to go outside, barely able to watch TV or use the computer for too long because of the light, avoiding contact with friends. It's a terrible way to live. 

Put on Ativan in December of 2012 and told to take three pills daily. I believe it was 1.5 mg's.

 

Switched to Xanax in April of 2013. I believe it was 1.0 mg's.

 

Switched to 1 mg Klonopin in August of 2013 gradually updosed until I reached 2.5 mg's in December of 2015.

 

Began 10% dry/liquid microtaper in February of 2016 at 2.5 mg's. I liquefied .5 mg's at a time in 100 mL's of milk while removing at first 1.2 mL's a day while taking the rest dry until arriving at roughly 1.75 mg's when I switched to .6 mL's a day.

 

10/31/16 - at 1.5 mg's. Currently holding taking whole dose dry. 11/03/16 - Bad side effects, updose to 2 mg's 11/30/16 - Failed substitution with Valium. Doctor wouldn't do crossover and did not give proper equivalency. Did not go well. Also briefly on Gabapentin for about 2 weeks at 150-300 mg's 12/04/16 - Back to 2 mg's of Klonopin 12/27/16 - Reinstated to 2.5 mg K. Symptoms at all time worst. Completely non functional.

 

Have been briefly on and off of many other SSRI's and psych meds including Prozac, Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Lamictal. They were all very low dosages and the only one that I was on for more than a few days is Celexa which I got up to 10 mg's for roughly two months and tapered off of.

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I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. 

 

I read something on another thread and it really spoke to me as I was trying to taper and moving doses around etc. I thought I would share it with you.

 

If you are attempting to stabilize on one specific dose for any given period of time and you choose to alter that dose (up or down), this has a tendency to 'reset the clock' in your nervous system so that any gains you may have made with regard to withdrawal symptoms improving or subsiding before you changed the dose are kind of 'wiped out' and you have to start all over again (at least this happened with me) 

 

I wish I could remember who wrote this so I could give them credit for it. 

 

I wish there was more I could do for you.

 

Hugs

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • 10 months later...

Wow, it's been awhile since anyone has posted here. I hope all are doing well and finding ways to heal.

 

I've had some windows that have had my agoraphobia almost completely gone. I still struggle with going to far from home, my safe space. So saying that my brother-in-law just passed away and we are going to go to his funeral/celebration of life. Not sure when it is yet as he just passed this morning. In any case we will have to fly there and it is way, way, way out of my comfort zone. I spoke to a friend who gave me really great advice on how to manage the agoraphobia, hypersensitivites, etc. I just wanted to see if anyone else has any thoughts on traveling with agoraphobia.

 

Big hugs,

T

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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5 minutes ago, tntd said:

Wow, it's been awhile since anyone has posted here. I hope all are doing well and finding ways to heal.

 

I've had some windows that have had my agoraphobia almost completely gone. I still struggle with going to far from home, my safe space. So saying that my brother-in-law just passed away and we are going to go to his funeral/celebration of life. Not sure when it is yet as he just passed this morning. In any case we will have to fly there and it is way, way, way out of my comfort zone. I spoke to a friend who gave me really great advice on how to manage the agoraphobia, hypersensitivites, etc. I just wanted to see if anyone else has any thoughts on traveling with agoraphobia.

 

Big hugs,

T

Hi Tntd sorry for your bereavement.

I suggest mindfulness ,be aware of your thoughts arising into panic ,bring distraction ,music, book anything to take away your train of thought .

I was on a short flight months ago and I had more than usual panic/intrusive thoughts  on that flight [albeit very short one 40 mins ] .I brought my attention to a little toddler that was oblivious to everything going on and basically not thinking of anything ,it helped a lot to understand we create a lot of our own crapy thoughts .

I don't know if drinking alcohol is the best thing if that's what you might be thinking to do .

I hope you are fine for your flight and keep busy a few days before hand ,so not to create anticipatory anxiety of flight day . 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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Thanks so much powerback,

 

I don't drink anymore, not with the tapering of a benzo. They don't go together very well! I've heard hydrating is great to help you stay healthy when on a flight with all that recycled air. 

 

I really like your ideas. I was planning on taking a couple of books. I like your idea of people watching. Fortunately I'll have my husband with me. Hopefully we can sit together. I've never had problems flying but I've never flown while in w/d either sooooo and especially not when dealing with agoraphobia. 

 

I'm crocheting a couple of octupus's for my daughter to attach to her luggage. She is going on a trip to NASA. It's been planned for quite awhile. So I'll be focusing on getting those finished quickly. I'll put on the tv and have two things going at once! 

 

Thanks again, I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.

 

T

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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