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Djderek I had pssd!


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A year ago I came off effexor and Prozac. !! I developed insomnia, obsessive ruminations.. I felt very stressed!! All the time. Then one day I realized... I have no libido!! No sexual or emotional energy. I felt numb!! I tried suicide.. I somehow believed I was damaged. I went downhill fast. I quit my job, lost my fiance. I tried to end my life. I ended up in the psych ward.

 

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

 

Now,just in the past two months, my body has regained it's natural warmness. I feel once again , Pleasure! My body tingles with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever. I started feeling emotional last month . Someone in this movie was crying, and I felt his pain.. And I cried.. My stomach dropped and my breath left me. I let go.

 

My depression is almost gone too!! I find myself laughing..! Even smiling!! Loving. . feeling peace, at last. I haven't felt this in years..

 

When I used to participate in negative conversations, I became consumed with hopelessness. I negative feedback loop if you will. I bought into the idea that I was damned for life. My mind wouldn't let go of this idea, until I gained awareness of my mind and it's conditioned cycles of repetitive negative thought. Feeding my depression.

 

Now, I wake up, spend ten minutes watching what my mind comes up with, and I breath..gently.. And they come and go.. As I'm typing this, I have full bodily sensation. The nerves in my body feel alive.

 

Much love to everyone!! Never give up!!

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Hi, I'm so glad you are doing well. How long after taking your last pill did the insomnia to go away?

  • 1992-Feb. 2016- Took almost every antidepressant on the market. Cold turkeyed most of the medications I took.

Stopped taking Paxil February 8 2016. I tapered the dose from 50 mg to 0 over the course of about 10 weeks

On no medications as of Feb. 8, 2016

As of 10/23/16-Still unable to sleep more than 4 to 5 hours a night, sometimes less

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The insomnia lasted around five month's for me. It was followed by a chronically fatigued like state where I slept and slept . Thanks!

 

If you have insomnia, your either trying too hard to sleep, or your thinking and thinking over and over and over. Thats how it was for me. I eventually crashed .

 

Ill pray for you!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

H Djderek,

 

Welcome to SA.

 

It will be helpful if you would Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature.  Details of the 12 months prior to you stopping the drugs and a summary of anything prior.  Please include all drugs, dates and doses and how you decreased/increased your doses.  Did you alternate doses, alternate days or CT?  Did you do a Prozac bridge?  If it was a Prozac bridge, was it a cold switch or a cross-taper?

 

Also, what was your reason/s for coming of the drugs?  Were you experiencing side effects?  Also, did you follow a doctor's suggestion on how to get off the drug or did you do it on your own?

 

I am sure many members here will be interested in your drug history.

 

If you click "Follow" top right you will be notified when someone responds.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 2 months later...

DjDerek Would you recommend yoga for PSSD ? I dont think Psychiatrist know **** , and I have lost so much trust in doctors. Do you think it was yoga that cured you ?

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I'm not sure. I think time, rest, exercise and being active eventually changed things for me

 

I think this is the key. Also, listen to your body and care for it by giving it what it says it needs. Thanks for telling us about this, Djderek.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 9 months later...
Quote

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

This is astonishingly similar to what has happened to me in the 10 years since I've had this horrible affliction.  I remember three discrete times where I "listened to my body" or just "let go" and I had 100% restoration of my sexual function:

1) When my friend came to visit me in Texas circa 2007/2008.  I can't stress enough how healing this was to me.  I felt incredibly lost and lonely when I moved to Texas from Massachusetts after college.  Having him with me was like a connection to my past -- it was comfort itself.  I remember my sexual function -- MY DRIVE -- returned during that trip.  Then we he left, it left.

2) When I moved back to MA I rented a room from a disturbed individual with borderline personality disorder (I was in a nursing program and could not afford my own apartment).  Needless to say, it was extremely stressful.  Then he and his "wife" (long story) left for a week-long vacation.  ALl of a sudden I felt an enormous burden lifted.  I had the place to myself!  My sexual function returned with a vengeance.  I mean, I had some of hte strongest orgasms I've ever had.  They were exhilarating, they even left me mildly nauseous afterward they were so good! Then when these people came back, just like that my functioning was gone.

3) My last experience was when I moved to my new apartment in MA about 8 years ago.  I got into a deep meditative state and "accessed" the trauma and upheaval of the last three years -- I'll never forget it.  It was like the trauma was a boulder pressing against my face, threatening to crush me.  I awoke in terror, and had high anxiety for about half an hour.  But then an incredible sense of calm and acceptance came over me.  As you say, my body "[had] regained it's natural warmness. I [felt] once again , Pleasure! My body tingled with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever."  That's exactly what it felt like.  And to my delight, I woke up and I had 100% functioning again.  It lasted for two glorious days.  And I just felt MORE ALIVE -- I smelled things more acutely than ever before.  Things felt 3D -- I was completely within my body. It was amazing.
 

I also have begun yoga, as well as regular aerobic exercise with reasonable strength training.  It makes a difference.  Sometimes a shocking difference.  Yoga in particular has taught me that I never really knew how to care for myself -- to be compassionate.  It made me realize how negative a person I am, and how easy it is for me to get "locked into" negative thoughts and ruminating.  I find the slower/more gentler the yoga, the better.  It helps me be more mindful and compassionate.  Sure, it hasn't helped my PSSD directly, but I suspect it may take quite a bit of time to remove layers of negative thinking, deep, clutching terror and hopelessness accrued over years before these healthy habits get to the core symptoms -- my sexual functioning.  The relaxation that yoga, exercise and mindful breathing brings may make accessing these feelings of deep hurt and fear easier over time, and easier for me to access my trauma, which might set me free one day and get rid of this horrendous condition once and for all.

 

**I don't think it's entirely a coincidence that the more I withdrew into myself as the years passed and gave into horror and rumination, the less often these breakthrough moments of function restoration occurred, until they finally stopped.

 

PS: Hey Alto :).  So glad you're still doing what you're doing.  Keep up this essential work.

Been on SSRIs since 1998:

1998-2005: Paxil in varying doses

2005-present: Lexapro.

2006-early '08: Effexor AND Lexapro! Good thing I got off the Effexor rather quickly (within a year).

 

**PSYCHIATRY: TAKE YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND CHOKE ON IT!

APA=FUBAR

FDA=SNAFU

NIMH=LMFAO

 

Currently tapering Lexapro ~10% every month:

 

STARTING: 15 mg

11/7/10: 13.5 mg

12/7/10: 12.2 mg

1/6/11: 10.9 mg

2/3/11: 9.8 mg

3/3/11: 8.8 mg

4/1/11: 7.8 mg

4/29/11: 7 mg

5/27/11: 6.4 mg

6/24/11: 5.7 mg

7/22/11: 5 mg

8/18/11: 4.5 mg

9/14/11: 4 mg

10/13/11: 3.6 mg

11/9/11: 3.2 mg

12/7/11: 2.6 mg

1/3/12: 2.1 mg

2/2/12: 1.8 mg

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On 8/9/2016 at 7:23 PM, Djderek said:

A year ago I came off effexor and Prozac. !! I developed insomnia, obsessive ruminations.. I felt very stressed!! All the time. Then one day I realized... I have no libido!! No sexual or emotional energy. I felt numb!! I tried suicide.. I somehow believed I was damaged. I went downhill fast. I quit my job, lost my fiance. I tried to end my life. I ended up in the psych ward.

 

Long story short. I met a yogi. I was in a bad place in my head. Non stop ruminations. Chronic disabling insomnia. Complete numbness. I began to meditate and practice yoga. In other words, I gained awareness of my mind, and how it was making me sick. I abstained from masturbation for the past eight months. I've mastered my mind. I found God!

 

Now,just in the past two months, my body has regained it's natural warmness. I feel once again , Pleasure! My body tingles with sensations in which I thought I've lost forever. I started feeling emotional last month . Someone in this movie was crying, and I felt his pain.. And I cried.. My stomach dropped and my breath left me. I let go.

 

My depression is almost gone too!! I find myself laughing..! Even smiling!! Loving. . feeling peace, at last. I haven't felt this in years..

 

When I used to participate in negative conversations, I became consumed with hopelessness. I negative feedback loop if you will. I bought into the idea that I was damned for life. My mind wouldn't let go of this idea, until I gained awareness of my mind and it's conditioned cycles of repetitive negative thought. Feeding my depression.

 

Now, I wake up, spend ten minutes watching what my mind comes up with, and I breath..gently.. And they come and go.. As I'm typing this, I have full bodily sensation. The nerves in my body feel alive.

 

Much love to everyone!! Never give up!!

 

 

Hello Djderek! Thanks for sharing, that gives me hope. I have real bad PSSD.

 

Did you experienced penile atrophy (permanent penis shrinkage) and soft glans?

 

I think these are my worst symptoms. Penis shrinked so much in last year and glans never gets filled with blood. Btw i have no libido, no morning or spontaneous erections, water semen, numb orgasm, weak erection quality and genital numbness.

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  • 1 month later...

Djderik 

If you are active in this forum can you tell me what is your waves and windows pattern of pssd means for how much time you have get windows and for how much time you have get Wave during whole pssd recovery.I am asking this because I am on waves for a 1.5 months and I am scared that I will get my windows or not.Also tell me you have recovered about 95%  or  as a pre ssri state

Scallywag if he is deactive in this forum please ask this question to another successful person who have recovered

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hey djderek,

Are you completely healed from pssd now?

Did you ever have soft/cold glans?

how long you took the drug and how long since you quit it?

thank you

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax

Med free since Feb 28th 2017

Mostly experiencing PSSD

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update? 

Short Term Case: 7 pill of 10 mg of Modafinil in a 3 month span, but last 3 I took back to back causing severe withdrawals, lasting 3 weeks. Than 2 pills lexapro to help withdrawal lead to more withdrawal.  I have most symptoms Pssd, emotional loss, cognitive issues, nerve damage in legs.  Also 2 benzodiazepines.  Not much to damage me long term...

 

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Hey DjDerek,

i hope you are well 

how is your pssd now ? Is it completely gone ? Please let us know 

also, have you experienced soft glans ?

thank you 

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax

Med free since Feb 28th 2017

Mostly experiencing PSSD

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  • 2 months later...

Hi,

 

I really am more scientific than spiritual. I hate the hippy woo stuff and would take a scientific journal over some cosmic theory any day.

 

BUT

 

I don’t know about the yoga, but meditation seems to be helping greatly with my PSSD so I do totally agree with the original posters claims. When I meditate daily, even if it’s only for 15 minutes, I seem to get improved sensation and stronger orgasms.

 

i am by no means cured, but hope to continue improving using a mix of meditation, healthy diet, exercise and not putting too much pressure on myself.

 

I can seriously notice a vast difference in my sexual response when I’ve been consistently meditating compared to when I haven’t.

 

plus there’s science to back up the benefits of meditating...so that’s good enough for me lol.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have complete ED at the moment and I've just started my tapering journey. My worry at the moment is that this total, and I mean TOTAL inability to achieve an erection will stick around. Did you have any ability to have an erection on SSRIs.

August 17 Venlafaxine 1 week - Psychosis

August-17 to December 17 Commited to Hospital 4 1/2 months

Drugs administered include (had to look this up there because it was a blur no exact dates noted in my release notes):

Olanzapine, Lorazepam, Sertraline, Escilatropram

Mirtazapine, Lamotrigine, Venlafaxine (again!?)

2018 Venlafaxine/Effexor 225mg ; Mirtazapine/Remeron 7.5mg; Propranolol 80mg; Lamotrigine/Lamictal 200mg

Lamictal was tapered very quickly Dec/Jan 2018 with no strong side effects

Began Effexor tapering Jan 2018

Came down from 225 to 75 within a month

 TOO FAST!!

Reinstated with just over 75. Mirtazapine reduced to 7.5 for sleep

Current:  Venlafaxine 80mg; Mirtazapine 7.5mg; Pipamperone 20mg

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  • 10 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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