Croy1983

Croy1983: Prozac (prior drug Paxil)

72 posts in this topic

So I believe this very strange feeling I been having for over 4 months now since withdrawl is depersonalization/ derealization.. I'm not sure how I got into this state but extremely horrible. I feel brain dead, spaced out, faint feeling, dont feel like myself like somthing has changed. In just not there at all.. extreme whole body weakness. The weird thing is I have gotten off and on these meds probably 6 times in past 12 years But never even close to this withdrawl. My original reason going on these meds when I was 20 because generalized anxiety disorder, health anxiety... Now I also have extreme obsessive intrusive thoughts, depression, dp/dr, paresthisia, neuropathy, muscles weakness, muscle spasms/ quivering, extreme hair loss, sensitive ears and eyes.. Is this really normal? I don't see how you can recover from this.. The dp/dr and obsessive intrusive thoughts are most distressing symptoms.. I don't know if I can go years like this or be permanent.. Never had any of this before.. Just my normal anxiety that was tough but liveable.. Any one help...

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Croy1983 -

 

How long have you been off Prozac?

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I was off about 7.5 weeks. Then reinstated October 7th .8mg just under 1 milligram in liquid form.but nothing got better. So tried to go down a notch the smallest amount possible other day and got really bad neuropath, My skin burns

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I was off about 7.5 weeks. Then reinstated October 7th .8mg just under 1 milligram in liquid form.but nothing got better. So tried to go down a notch the smallest amount possible other day and got really bad neuropath, My skin burns

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Croy1983 -

 

Happy New Year!

 

You asked if all your symptoms could be from withdrawal and I would say yes.  I have had about every symptom that you listed.  Some have improved, others are still a constant struggle.  I would have never thought that I would still be struggling this much after 16 months off. 

 

I went on Prozac for panic attacks/anxiety.  Now it seems that my anxiety is so much worse then before I even took Prozac. 

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O2bhappy thanks for reply the anxiety being worse I can understand I think that will take the longest to get better. And with proper therapy. But the depersonalization, burning skin, neuropathy,etc all those symptoms are what I dont get..

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Croy1983 -

 

It is amazing what our bodies go through in withdrawal.  I have been off Prozac for 16 months and I am still getting new symptoms.  I would think after being off it that long that your body would start adjusting. 

 

I understand about the anxiety being worse, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.  How do you "manage" your anxiety?  All the other symptoms I get I try to remind myself that this is withdrawal and it will get better, but sometimes that is difficult to do. 

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O2bhappy, I don't know the secret trick but I know I have 2 options give up or fight.. And although fighting is what we naturally do. I think we need to get to the point of letting go. Except where we are. Someone told me you will never get better until you stop trying to get better.. We are fighting against something we can't win.. When our minds heal so will our body.. I believe we make this withdrawl process so long because we are so focused on all of our symptoms our stress is 24/7 never giving our body and nerves the rest they are begging for to heal.. Plus I know this all has to do with fear.. Fear doesn't come from god Satan wants you to believe this is permanent, your a victim to anxiety and these drugs.. Its all a lie we buy into.. Your body is amazing and a gift from God.. Just get to the point you don't care what your going through. Do your best for right now. Because It will pass. And you will be stronger then you ever have been after this.. I'm only 4.5 months into this and trust me it's bad but I'm more than a conqueror, I will be healed, I demand healing.. Focus on the truth.. I know it's tough but very tough but it's what we need to do retrain our brains start speaking possitive, stop letting all these symptoms control our lives, confront the anxiety.but be its friend work with it and Force yourself to get up and go do somthing.

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Croy1983 -

 

Someone told me you will never get better until you stop trying to get better...WOW.  That statement makes perfect sense.  That is exactly what I have been doing the past 16 months.  I have been trying to get better and wanting to get better.  I do spend 24/7 focused on how I am feeling and I know that is not a good way to live.  I also notice that I complain about how I am feeling all the time.  I am sure that is only reinforcing how I am feeling, which isn't good.  I re-tell the same story over and over.  How do you get to the point that you don't care how you are feeling?  For some reason I equate happiness to feeling good.  If I feel good I am happy, if I don't feel good then I am not.  How do I change that thinking pattern?  I think all the negative thinking I am doing is making my anxiety worse.  I do need to focus on speaking positively and not so negative.  I also need to do something because there are days when it is easy to just stay home.

 

Congrats for being 4.5 months off.  I know it is difficult, but like you said we will heal.  I love that you demand healing!

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Croy1983 -

 

Someone told me you will never get better until you stop trying to get better...WOW. That statement makes perfect sense. That is exactly what I have been doing the past 16 months. I have been trying to get better and wanting to get better. I do spend 24/7 focused on how I am feeling and I know that is not a good way to live. I also notice that I complain about how I am feeling all the time. I am sure that is only reinforcing how I am feeling, which isn't good. I re-tell the same story over and over. How do you get to the point that you don't care how you are feeling? For some reason I equate happiness to feeling good. If I feel good I am happy, if I don't feel good then I am not. How do I change that thinking pattern? I think all the negative thinking I am doing is making my anxiety worse. I do need to focus on speaking positively and not so negative. I also need to do something because there are days when it is easy to just stay home.

 

Congrats for being 4.5 months off. I know it is difficult, but like you said we will heal. I love that you demand healing!

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I'm just like you I obsess about how I feel and what I'm going through which is like throwing gas on the fire..this is the anxiety trick we need to learn to overcome. I'm 33 year old male been dealing with this since I was 20 really bad. But just like how I got to this point we can undo this pattern. With patients and hard work.. For me I try to focus on God's promise and understand fear and worry and my mind is Satan's weapon. The battle is in my mind never in my circumstance. So let's say I wake up and I instantly think great another bad day of suffering and I don't have w y motivation I'm anxious depressed and start ruminating about how I feel. I'm so intune with how I feel... I say screw you anxiety even get mad and say nope I'm going to push myself to face my fears and I pray I ask God to give me the strenght and I push on.. I put on worship music, I have notes everywhere I go literally everywhere. That say I am getting better, more than a conqueror, I own fear, I'm the head and not the tail, I'm healthy, I won't waste my talent and blessing because of fear. Etc. We have to make up our mind that we need to change our mind and have faith. And believe these statements about ourself. Speak it over our life.. Shrink the fear.. Some of not most days I still crawl into that self pitty mode but that's ok. I'm a work in progress but the more I stay the course and put these tools to practice I believe I will get better and so will you.. Your not brain damaged from anxiety or the medication.. Your nerves and brain just need to heal .. So start living like your healthy and the body will follow

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Croy1983 -

 

I like how you say screw you to the anxiety and that you push through it.  I like the notes idea, I am going to have to try it.  I know one of my biggest problems is that I am obsessed with how I feel.  I have it in my head that feeling good equals happiness and feeling bad equals unhappiness.  Since I have felt bad for so long I just constantly feel unhappy.  I know that I am doing this to myself.  Another problem is that I have a lot of free time and all I do is think about how I feel and how I ended up in this place, instead of doing anything productive.  I get upset that I have to live with anxiety, I know it could be worse.  I should think of myself as very blessed if the worse thing I have to live with is anxiety.  Over the past twenty years I have let my panic attacks rule my life. 

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How long were you on prozac? Did it help you and things got worse when you got off?Whats your story?

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How long were you on prozac? Did it help you and things got worse when you got off?Whats your story?

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Croy1983 -

 

I was on Prozac for 12 years. Before that I actually took Paxil for a year, and that was hell getting off. I think taking Prozac helped but only because I was numb on it. It didn't teach me the coping tools I needed to help with my panic attacks. While I was on it I gained a ton of weight, had massive headaches and restless leg syndrome. I guess because of my drugged state I never thought about it being from side effects of Prozac. Since I stopped Prozac all those symptoms went away. Then I was left with all the withdrawal symptoms.

 

When you have time you should read my intro.

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Posted (edited)

Well I'm not sure exactly what to think for me or anyone else. Some people can go off with minimal problems. But I have was on paxil 9 years had paresthisia when tapered so doc put me on prozac then lexapro back to prozac.

 

Then 2 years ago I got off had 2 months of minor side affects then felt like my old self when I was in high school but the anxiety was still there but liveable.

 

Decided to go back on prozac only 2.5 mg. Worked good for last 2 years. Then decided to quit it cold turkey thinking such a low dose shouldn't be that bad. Boy was I wrong.. I'm very sensitive to anything that affects my seratonin and will get side affects on less than 1mg. But I messed up because these meds arent ment for long term use. Especially for sensitive people..

 

So now I believe we are paying the price thinking these magic pills were not that bad.. I truly believe we will heal. But its not going to be a quick fix. Everyone is different. I kind of have gotten to the point where I say well nothing I can do about it No matter how hard I try. My brain chemistry has been altered, my nerves got shocked so I just hold on for the ride. I may get some things that stick around for years but in the big picture someday I will be better..

 

I know a few people personally that went through this exact thing and the hell it was. But they recovered and they check on me regularly and keep me positive when I'm ready to give up.. They overcame all this 10 years ago when doctors or anyone knew anything. They had to do it alone. No internet sites nothing. This site is good and all but I noticed I get sucked into all this negativity and horror stories that make me conviced I have all these symptoms etc.. I try to put my phone down, quit obsessing to look up everything wrong with me and just except no matter how weird or painful my symptoms are they will heal. God never wastes a hurt. Someday you will be able to help someone with a similar experience. You, me will be stronger people because of this.

 

In mean time everyday do breathing exercises, do mindfulness meditation. Try to eat the best you can. Make it a daily habit. And you know what even if we never heal fully At least we did everything possibly could.. That's way I look at it. All of this In life is temporary. Heaven is eternal life with no pain or suffering. Thank God everyday even in your pain. He knows your struggles and will give you strength when we fix our eyes on him and only him. His word keeps me grounded to the truth gives me hope and life..the devils only weapon is through our mind to keep you suffering and focused on our problems and full of fear. He's a liar and thief.. Believe that just believe. Sorry if I'm preaching But I just sharing what I believe and where my healing comes from. I struggle everyday but I'm learning if I want to beat this I need to change my mind and renew my mind daily. No matter how hard or bad I feel I'm suffering.. I pray right now that you will be healed and I'm speaking God gives you wisdom and strenght to ensure any hardship in your life.

Edited by scallywag
paragraph breaks for readability

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Croy1983 -

 

I agree that we are paying the price for these so called magic pills.  You have a good mindset about how you are thinking and dealing with your withdrawal.  I need to remind myself that I did take the medicine for a long time and that it took a toll on my body. I am working on accepting and allowing the feelings that I am having, but it isn't easy. 

 

When I first went off Prozac I was constantly searching the internet for answers.  What I was looking for was something to make me feel better.  I wanted to go from one magic pill to something else that was magic to just make me feel better.  Then I came across this forum, which has been a blessing.  It is sad to see so many people suffering, but it is nice knowing that you are not alone in this struggle. 

 

Thank you for your prayers.  I greatly appreciate them.  

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Oh I agree I do same thing, I suffer daily many days I struggle just to not check myself into a mental ward or throw the towel in. if someone told me to eat dog crap every morning for this to go away I would.but im giving it my all

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Croy1983 -

 

I understand about eating dog crap to feel better.  I know I was so desperate to feel better, especially in the beginning.  You realize that you are in withdrawal, but there is nothing you can do about it.   No doctors believe that you are in withdrawal especially so far removed from taking the medicine. 

 

I am glad to hear that you are giving it your all.  I know that is really all we can do.  Nothing is going to make us better except for time and how we react to feeling bad.  I am still struggling with my reactions to how I feel. 

 

Hopefully we are learning to become stronger through this process.

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Yeah theese meds can cause alot of problems. I know they have for me. I drew the lucky card with extreme hypersensitivity to them. They aren't ment to be taken long term so now I'm paying the price. They are worse than heroin or any other drug in my opinion. I was only on 2 mg and that cold turkey off that little shocked me beyond what I thought humanly possible. I have got off and on probably 6 times in last 12 years and never did this to me. This time was another world. Then I reinstated to .8 of a milligram after 2 months which was the worst thing this site recommended. Made things worse now having to come back off in even a extreme sensitive state. Never reinstate unless your under 3 weeks. Once the shock and damage is done in my situation sure as heck don't reinstate.

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Croy1983 -

 

I would say that I fall into the hypersensitity with medicine. I think I became more sensitive from taking Prozac.

 

Three months into my withdrawal my doctor thought it would be a good idea to go back on it. Not know anything about the proper way to reinstate to just took my full dosage of 15 mg. I only took it for three days and it made me so sick. I regretted taking in the moment I swallowed the pill but was so desparate to feel better.

 

There were several months during my withdrawal that I thought about going on something else just to feel better. I am so grateful that I didn't and that I have stuck it out cold turkey.

 

There are some days when I tell myself that I need to just embrace the suck.

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I know This whole thing is tough, toughest thing I ever experienced in my life by far.. I thought the chemotherapy I went through from testicular cancer in 09 was tough. This is worse.. Did you ever feel like a zombie, emotional numb, and just out of it like your cognition just isn't there? My vision is weird too not sure if it's lightheaded or dizzy or what but it's bizare. I have had it since a week into this whole thing 5 months ago.

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Unfortunately you're not alone in feeling like a zombie or out-of-it, Croy. Many of us get that during dose reductions or after the last dose, especially cold turkey.

 

A few discussion topics related to what you've mentioned:

Dizziness, lightheaded, vertigo, etc.

What to do for dizziness, lightheadness, nausea.

Anhedonia, emotional numbness.

 

You may find some helpful ideas on how to cope with these $&@# rotten symptoms.

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Sucks I feel like I will never heal. I got off to get healthy and be my old self again and now it's like I have permanant disability symptoms. I been pretty healthy my whole life now I'm a vegetable. With 20 horrible symptoms and I'm only 33.. I force myself to work every day because I refuse to let this beat me But it's very difficult. I see People saying years and years before they got much better it's scary to say least

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You will heal Croy! I have muscle pain, burning skin, sensitivity to light and sounds. We have a lot of the same symptoms. You will heal and so will I! We will get through this!! Keep your head up! 

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I hope so chicago77. The only hope I have is for every suffering in this crazy life is a bigger reward. Suffering from adverse ssri has to be up there with one of the worst totures possible. I have days where I pray God would just take me give me a terminal illness because the suffering is so strong. Typing symptoms on these forums does no justice. Although we all going through it. No human should ever have to live like that. Its not like I picked up a heroin needle and decided to be a drug addict. My doctor gave me poison that left me in a way worse state then before ever went on. Its hard to except suffering. For me it's probably worse because i have battled health anxiety, chronic anxiety, obsess so every symptom is a 10 to me which keeps my stress through though the roof. The depression and anxiety .depersonalization, derealization, spaced out feeling brain dead and dizzy vision burning skin, neropathy pain, ear fullness, extreme sensitive to noise. Obsessive intrusive thoughts. These are my worst symptoms I have never experienced until withdrawl.

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I know! I try to explain to my friends and family what's going on and I say the exact same thing. It's like being tortured every day. How many months off meds are you? Have you had any windows with no symptoms yet? I haven't had a day without any symptoms yet, but I have had days where they are less intense. I've also had some symptoms disappear completely, which is good. The intrusive thoughts, irrational fear, extreme anxiety has gone away, so I can say that I have seen improvements. 

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I was only off for 2 months didn't know what was happening was desperate so reinstated to .8 of a milligram hardly anything. Stayed on that for 2 months nothing really changed some things got worse some got better. So for past month or so I been weaning back down the burning skin is back. I had this reaction in 2012 from coming off paxil my sensory nerves were extremely hypersensitive. That's what It is. But nobody knew what it was. So the doctors were bouncing me around on different meds. Finally after I got off everything it went away but went through a year of it flaring

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I had a adverse reaction from going from 30mg to 20mg ever since then till this day all ssri gave me this burning, sensitive skin reaction. Was so bad for 6 months I couldnt wear pants because my legs were the worse. It went away when I got off. Then in 2014 I got back on 2.5 mg of prozac didn't have the skin nerve reaction so stayed on for 2 years then when I cold turkey from 2 mg all hell happened. Shocked my system bad. Beyond what I thought humanly possible. So at this point I know I got a ways to go to heal. But I'm scared everyday I played around with these meds for to long that this time I won't ever heal and they did to much damage..I have gotten off and on 6 or 7 times in last 12 years. Nothing even close to as bad as this time

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Hello cory1983,

 

How are you doing? I read your posts and I'm going through the something. The hardest thing is waiting.

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Hey Croy,

 

I'm in the same position too. I am 4.5 months out from a CT of Prozac. I was only on it for a year with varying dose changes (10 to 20 to 40mg and then back down to 20 and finally 10mg). My Dr never told me about weaning off slowly or tapering. I don't have all your mental symptoms but I definitely have ALL your physical symptoms. The burning, tingly, itchy skin is the damn worst. Even right now, I am having major tingling in my throat and mouth. It's so annoying and awful. I am planning to reinstate because I can't take it anymore! I'm praying this reinstatement will work. 

 

Hang in there, please! We'll get outta this together.

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Need some help and opionion? Its been 7 months since my withdrawal I reinstated. To 1mg about 5.5 months ago and down to .4 of a milligram now. Today at a new doctor visit I told him something happened to me and I have been a severe mess for 7 months. He said that medicine changed my brain that's insane what your going through.. I don't know what to even think by his remark. Am i a changed person and brain for good. That really scared me bad

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What exactly did the doctor say?

 

It's extremely unlikely that the drugs permanently changed your brain.

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He just looked at me and said That **** changed your brain/ chemistry.. I didn't ask what he meant but. I'm assuming it has I can tell. Its probably no different then a meth addict the drugs change and alter your brain. Once they get off the drug it takes awhile to repair. But I don't know just scares me what if they did change my brain for good

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I mean they are mind altering drugs so they do change the chemical and chemistry I believe that but permanent I don't know. I know people personally say they experienced it some severe some moderate. But they healed. They say you will heal you just need to get off completely it's going to be tough but you will heal

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There are changes that occur when the drug is introduced and continued. The body works hard to be well -- the changes aren't usually permanent.

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