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rowinghippy

Need strong catharsis

4 posts in this topic

Not a classic self care/symptom, but felt it fit in this section regardless.

 

Long story short, I'm so incredibly angry to my core that my life is in shambles and that I'm in agony everyday. It's made me depressed and suicidal.

 

Historically, I'd vent whatever anger I had through physical activity, but in my present state exercise is not really an option, as it would just make symptoms worse. Things like meditation, yoga, etc. are fine and good, but not cathartic.

 

I really need a way to release this bottled up anger. I (figuratively, please don't read this literally, I'm not violent) want to kill something because I'm so angry, but obviously my anger has no target.

 

I don't know what to do. My anger leads me to be depressed and ruminating, and fills me with self hate and hate for my life. I hate myself for not being able to give up and kill myself (although I've been close).

 

So much anger, how do other people deal with it? It's not like withdrawal, this drug, or my anger are leaving soon.

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Put it in physical action like working out.  Anger is energy and you can transform that energy into something good by action

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I've been known to throw dishes, glassware and ceramic flower pots on the tiled kitchen floor or concrete floors in the garage/basement. It's one way to make use of broken or unloved items.

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Hi rowinghippy

 

I was very sorry to hear what you have been going through. For me, one thing that sometimes helped was writing out all my feelings and anger. I typed it out on the computer. I also tried to validate my feelings, to allow myself to have them and I used to tell myself it was totally understandable under the circumstances.

 

I know you mentioned that physical exercise can exacerbate things for you but what about walking? Obviously not the same as a good run but it might still release some pent up tension.

 

Punching a pillow also occasionally helped.

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