Posted 14 November 2016 - 11:24 AM
Eleven10 , I hear you and feel you plight , their are many people who come on this forum and are happy in their lives wilst on a/d , and they feel it is the time to come of them , and through this site the are given valuable information on how to reduce in a safe manner and given the right methods to enable them to withdraw successfully and what to expect , for some of us though we are not so fortunate , our cns have allready been damaged , so wether we go slow or a slightly faster taper we are going to suffer either way , the slower we go the better chance our cns will recover , but to us this feels like an eternity , many people who come to this site are not in protracted withdrawel they are just looking at the safest way to withdraw and many succeed, not all , but some like us are going to have a hard time , i have questioned my position many times as to weather I need to try another med to get me out of this hell , and I have thought many times is it the med that has put me in this hell , do I actually need meds so I can live a life and have I suffered for so long when there is a med to lift me from this , I think you will find that most people who have been on this site for many years who are going through what we are have probably thought the same, I sometimes wonder if they found a pill tomorrow that would be able to cure all this suffering 100% with non side effects , how many people who have gone years without medication who have truly suffered would actually take one , some people will perhaps struggle on all their lives in hope that they will return to normal and maybe never will , I am not sure that person is me , I don't think I can go another 3 years of this and if I find the relentless depression does not lift , I may well have to try something , I like you have a family and I wish to spend time with them and enjoy some sort of a quality life with them ,this I haven't been able to do for the last 3 years , at some point I might have to bite the bullet and admit defeat and try to get some relief get to a better place , see some light and then when I am stronger , start a slow taper , but we should not forget that this site is for helping people who wish to withdraw from a/ds those that want to come of , there are many people happy on them and feel that they are going to be on them all their lives , we all have a choice , their are a lot of people who are on a/d who really shouldn't be , doctors given them out for stupid reasons , but some people do need them and they do work for them , we just have to work out is our quality of life worth taking them , after 3 years I was hoping for some relief I haven't found any , may be I am hoping for a miracle that is never going to happen , I hope you find some relief soon , and if you decide that you need some sort of medication to help you don't beat yourself up , we can only endure so much suffering , I keep thinking that if I give in I am a failure, and all this has been for nothing however if I decide one day that I can't take any more of this and do something stupid then all that my family has been through has been for nothing , and I feel I owe them something , it's a hard thing to keep going in hope , what ever you choose nobody will blame you for wanting to feel better , that's what we all want
100mg Effexor 2000 untill jan 2015 severe withdrawals . Tapered 4weeks.
Jan to end of Feb 4 weeks on 15mg mirtazapine 20mg quetiapine , tapered of both 2 weeks , severe withdrawals , still some from Effexor possibly
End of Feb 2015 to end of July 30mg citolapram tapered 2weeks severe withdrawal , anxiety high , bouts of sever depression , severe emotional moods
Currently on 30mg mirtazapine appx 5 months , high anxiety, March cut dose 22.5 mg going on to liquid still no improvements with the depression , also started sept 2015 200mg pregabalin , currently on 22.5mg mirtazapine tablet form doing really badly. Cut beginning of May remeron 20mg still bad anxiety,August 15mg remeron ,100mg pregablin , severe depression headaches anxiety , oct 2016 doctor stoped pregablin c/t , 15mg mirtazapine still no let up in physical symptoms ,high anxiety ,Nov 2016 remeron 13.5 mg , Jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped flouxetine20mg added by hospital admission, no choice , doing really badly , akathesia suicidel ,, Flouxetine c/t by hospital after 7 weeks 20mg daily , currently on nothing , God help me