Blondiee1915: 3 months off lexapro - does it get better?

[Blondiee1915]

Hi manymoredays - thank you for stopping by and for posting an encouraging post on my thread.  It is inspiring to know that it got better for you so perhaps I will be fine too.  I also love water,  it is soothing and relaxing...  I did take epsom salt baths in the winter,  now I am just too hot.  To be honest do not remember if it was helping or not.  

 

I do have a few vacation days and I am trying to save them for just in case.  I also plan on taking random days here and there for resting when fatigue becomes too much (like today).  As far as family and friends.  I do not have a big family.  I do have a few friends but I cannot open up to them I did open up to my best friend she was understanding but when we talk I do not want our conversation being depressing and me complaining about my problems as I do not want to lose her as a friend.  Plus my friends do not see me as struggling.  I appear pretty normal and functional and pretty outgoing in real life.  So I am not sure.  

 

I am praying for the best.  Yesterday was an okay day. I had an event to go to.  I did go even though it was crowded and I had pretty bad dizziness.  My fatigue seemed better.  I even worked out - 2.5 mile walk and 20 mins yoga and some arm work out via vacuuming carpets.  And today I crashed.  Getting all the rest I can for this coming week 

 

xoxo,

B.

[Happy2Heal]

hi Blondie, just stopping by to say hello and to see how you are doing.

I hope you can take advantage of those random days off, think of them as random acts of kindness toward yourself!

you deserve them!

 

<3

[SkyBlue]

Hi Blondie, 

 

It's definitely a  sharing with in-person friends and have them understand WD. It's one of those things you really can't understand unless you've been through it (or very close to someone who's been through it). I despaired of this before finding SA, and now it really means a lot to have you guys.

 

When we feel good we sometimes run around and do everything -- then maybe end up overdoing things and crashing. I can certainly relate! In my window a week ago I was doing sooooo much, then came back home and went to bed at 8:30 because I was wiped out. And came home to a message from Brassmonkey reminding me that a window can cause an almost hypo-manic state where we might overdo it and crash!

 

Someone I know "in real life" shared the idea of spoon theory with me, which pertains here. The theory pertains to chronic illness or disability but is definitely relatable to WD. The idea is that you have a certain number of spoons each day, which represent your energy level. Different activities use up different amounts of spoons. For some, they may have 16 spoons and taking care of basic self-care takes 6 spoons. So the idea is how can you be as engaged as possible in your life, without using up all your spoons by 2 pm.? 

I would make an addendum that as we progress through WD, we gain more spoons. So the number of spoons you have right now might feel very limiting, but you will likely gain more spoons in the future. 

 

https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

 

I'm off to rest in the hammock to accrue more spoons! Hugs and hang in there, sweetie! <3 

[manymoretodays]

1 hour ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Hi manymoredays - thank you for stopping by and for posting an encouraging post on my thread.  It is inspiring to know that it got better for you so perhaps I will be fine too.  I also love water,  it is soothing and relaxing...  I did take epsom salt baths in the winter,  now I am just too hot.  To be honest do not remember if it was helping or not.  

 

I do have a few vacation days and I am trying to save them for just in case.  I also plan on taking random days here and there for resting when fatigue becomes too much (like today).  As far as family and friends.  I do not have a big family.  I do have a few friends but I cannot open up to them I did open up to my best friend she was understanding but when we talk I do not want our conversation being depressing and me complaining about my problems as I do not want to lose her as a friend.  Plus my friends do not see me as struggling.  I appear pretty normal and functional and pretty outgoing in real life.  So I am not sure.  

 

I am praying for the best.  Yesterday was an okay day. I had an event to go to.  I did go even though it was crowded and I had pretty bad dizziness.  My fatigue seemed better.  I even worked out - 2.5 mile walk and 20 mins yoga and some arm work out via vacuuming carpets.  And today I crashed.  Getting all the rest I can for this coming week 

 

xoxo,

B.

 

Yah.......could be hormonal fluctuations too......some of the decreasing heat tolerance.  Lukewarm baths anyone?

 

Allow yourself to diverge from who you think you should be for everyone else.......or consider it.........Idk, that helped me alot.  I mean as long as you know it is temporary.......and it is.  Your friend may understand if you explain it to her.......may not either.........maybe give her the option.  None of us are all fun, all the time.  Try some of Brene Browns stuff on youtube about vulnerability and radical acceptance.  She has books too.  Another one of my many helpers in this journey.......and there are many........

 

I really admire your working on through this......I mean actually working for money and most likely doing a decent job of it.  Enjoy todays crash too.

 

You are doing it and getting there and wow.........

 

Love, hugs, peace,

 

mmt

[Blondiee1915]

HappytoHeal - thank you for stopping by, I am trying to be gentle on myself and not guilt myself into not doing anything except laying in bed today.  But it is hard.  I am praying it will get better.  Hope you are doing okay <3 

 

SkyBlue - spoon theory sounds interesting, and makes perfect sense actually.  I have to remember that next time I have more energy and not overdue it.  Hammock sounds so nice and relaxing.  Enjoy!

 

mmt - working is truly a challenge, sometimes I dont even know how I do it.  But I honestly feel like I have no options.  I am praying I am truly healing and getting better.  

 

Gave myself all the rest today.  Hopefully will be good to go tomorrow, with this WD you just never know. 

 

Yours, B 

[Frogie]

Blondiee:

 

Just wanted to stop by and say I hope you are feeling better.

 

Hopefully, you'll get some rest this weekend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Frogie - thank you for stopping by and checking in.  I am doing so so .  Fatigue is crushing and making it difficult to function .  

 

Sorry for not positive updates 

 

i did receive my blood work results and I tested 2000 in vitamin b13 so I decided to take a break as this is way out of range 

 

hope you are doing well 

b 

[Frogie]

Hi Blondiee:

 

Hopefully cutting off the vitamin b will give you more energy. They say not enough, no energy. Maybe you are the opposite. Wouldn't that be nice.

 

I'm really tired, but I haven't stopped since Memorial Day weekend. It's been one thing after another. And a taper in between, but no nausea thanks to Apace41 (Andy). He has really helped me a lot.

 

Hopefully you can get some rest this weekend.  

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[PatriciaVP]

Hi Blondiee,

 

Sorry to hear that you are still struggling with so much fatigue. I know it can be immensely difficult to keep going when your body feels like it just wants to shut down.

 

Glad to hear that you decided to forgo the med that your doctor was offering for the tiredness. Sounds like it might have had some pretty nasty side effects. I've discovered that the better a drug company tries to make it's poison sound, the more dangerous it is. Although I do understand what it's like to feel desperate and willing to swallow almost anything for a bit of relief. Good on you for resisting that temptation.

 

I've been feeling pretty discouraged myself lately. Ready to give up entirely. If only I knew what that meant.... But we don't give up do we? Everyday we keep putting one foot in front of the other - keeping an eye out for those fleeting signs of healing that we know are there.

 

Peace and rest be with you, Blondiee. You are not alone.

[apace41]

10 minutes ago, PatriciaVP said:

I've been feeling pretty discouraged myself lately. Ready to give up entirely. If only I knew what that meant.... But we don't give up do we? Everyday we keep putting one foot in front of the other - keeping an eye out for those fleeting signs of healing that we know are there.

 

PatriciaVP, 

 

You hit the nail on the head!  What does it mean to give up entirely?  If there was a sure-fire solution, many would probably go for it, but the uncertainty of any option leaves you in the dreaded "limbo" we are in.  I have ZERO desire to be on antidepressants or other psych meds but if someone could GUARANTEE me I'd feel "normal" (whatever that is) it would surely be tempting.  Of course, there are no guarantees so soldiering on and trying to remain optimistic to the extent possible is the best choice I suppose.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Skeeter]

On ‎5‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 9:32 AM, ShakeyJerr said:

I have been using the adrenal fatigue cocktail when I wake up in the morning (the 5am wake up, not the 3am wake up).

 

4 oz. orange juice

1/2 teaspoon of cream of tartar

1/2 teaspoon of sea salt

 

Some people do it before bed. I have not tried that yet, but I think I will give it a go Friday night (I like to start new things on Friday night or Saturday morning just in case I have a bad reaction to them; gives me the weekend to adjust/recover).

SJ

 

MODERATOR’S NOTE REGARDING THE “ADRENAL COCKTAIL” FOR THOSE WITH HEALTH ISSUES:

If you are healthy, cream of tartar (aka potassium tartarate) at 1 tsp/day total = 500mg (1/2 tsp 2x/day) with OJ should provide no harm at all. Daily amount needed 3400mg.
Those suffering from Addison’s disease, diabetes, acute renal failure, are on dialysis, or for those undergoing treatments that prevent the excretion of potassium from the body through urine should not use cream of tartar.  If you suffer from any cardiac, kidney, or electrolyte issues, or suffer from severe low blood pressure, or multiple health conditions you are medicated for, you should consult with your doctor/HCP before adding extra potassium bitartrate to your daily diet. When speaking to your HCP, please give both names: cream of tartar, & potassium bitartrate.

[Blondiee1915]

It has been a while and I decided to post an update on what is going on with me .  My fatigue was getting the best out of me and it felt as it was not getting any better 8 months after reinstating and 6 months after switching to Luvox .  I know the best thing to do is do nothing and maybe 6 months time frame does not seem that long of a time but being exhausted constantly made me pretty desperate for solution .  I thought that perhaps I need to remove Luvox completely and bridge to something else .  Which is what I am trying to do now .  I am sorry friends for dissapointing you all but I just could not handle this fatigue any longer .  

 

I decreased luvox from 35 mg to 30 mg (started in the beginning of June every few weeks).  Each time I dropped a dose I got bad tinnitus as well as other familiar symptoms .  At the same time I cross tapered to nortryptoline TCA started at 2 mg on June 9 and now at 8 mg liquid.  I have tried this medication in the past and tolerated it okay thus the decision .  I also want to stay far away from SSRI as possible and I am hopeful with introduction of nortryptoline I can withdraw Luvox quicker and just stay on nortryptoline until I am ready to withdraw that .  I also struggle with severe dizziness and after doing some research on nortryptoline it appeared that it helped some individuals with that (my wishful thinking) 

 

Things are overall okayish.  I do experience nortryptoline side effects such as dry mouth and constipation (TMI) and when I sleep sometimes I feel my heart beating weirdly (maybe it is anxiety).  I am sleeping okay and I do not have pm anxiety as I did before where I would lay in bed and contemplate and worry about making it at work, so I do think nortryptoline helped me with that .  As far as dizziness that did not lift.  The fatigue is still pretty apparent .  Last week I did have a few days in the beginning of the week where I felt not as fatigued for which I am thankful.  My DP DR is still bad and I just try to breathe and take it a day at a time .  Dizziness and disbalance are pretty annoying too .  Tinnitus and the feeling of my ears full is there as well and I hope it will go away soon .  

I do wish I have found this site prior to quiting last year CT.  I also have a lot of what ifs in my head (what if I stayed strong and did not reinstate) but I cannot drive myself crazy and just have to focus on the present and hope for the best .  

 

I will update my signature later as I am trying from a phone .  For now I will continue to withdraw Luvox and stay on nortryptoline and hopefully stabilizing .  

 

I truly hope one day I can be me again ❤️

[Frogie]

Hi Blondiee:

 

I think everyone on the forum wants to see you feel better. At least I do.

 

You didn't fail anyone, especially yourself. You gave it your best. I don't think I could have done it as long as you. You are incredible!

 

I really hope this new med will help. Get off the other and stay on it for a long time. 

 

You will be you again. That's what I keep telling myself. Maybe it will help if we tell each other.

 

I've had some nausea last week a couple days, and yesterday. But I had dental work done, and I think it was nerves. Novacain always makes me sick even when I wasn't on this horrible Lexapro. Now today, I'm feeling really bloated and not hungry at all.

 

Keep your chin up. You're doing great.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Happy2Heal]

as Frogie said, you didn't disappoint anyone.

You need to do what is right for YOU, that's the most important thing.

 

I hope this change helps you and that you are feeling more and more like yourself every day.

It already sounds like it may be a good switch for you.

 

I don't know how you've managed as long as you have, you've had the dizziness and fatigue for so long. You're doing great, you should feel good about how well you've done, keeping a job thru all this and keeping it together

 

I think most of us wish we'd found this site sooner!! but we can only go forward from where we are now.

 

[LilyBlueRose]

I really hope you feel better soon! I am in a wave of bad dizziness and as usual my ears are still congested. I think about u often since our symptoms are so similar and truly hope we feel better soon!! 

[Blondiee1915]

Happy2Heal & Frogie - thank you so much for your kind words.  I know I have to remember that I am doing the best I can.  I am just so hard on myself.  I know I will be okay.  Step at a time.  I have to remember to be less judgmental and more accepting and nurturing of myself.  I hope you are doing good.  I am sorry I have not stopped on your threads lately but I will l make sure I do.  

 

Kalinia - thank you.  Sorry you are struggling as well.  Oye I know how it feels the dizziness and the ears.  Once my ears bothered me so much I put some cotton balls and slept like that.  Not sure if it helped though.  I do too hope we will feel better soon.  I think we have similar symptoms as we were both on pretty much the same drug.  

[SkyBlue]

On July 25, 2017 at 0:33 PM, Blondiee1915 said:

 

I truly hope one day I can be me again ❤️

 

Hi Blondie,

 

I do believe you will be "you" again. I hold that hope for you!

 

Your decisions are your decisions and please don't feel like you disappointed anybody. We all have to do what's best for us individually.

If there was a one-size-fits-all to heal WD, wow--that would be so amazing and simple! 

So it is all trial and error. The Dp/dr is very weird and I hope that gets better soon for you, along with everything else. <33

 

Hugs!

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Friends - 

 

I have not posted in a while as I did not have much to report.  I tried to stay off the forum to give myself a break and sort of forget this withdrawal even though it is so present.  I finally updated my signature.  

 

I am down on Luvox from 37.5 mg to 29 mg and I am planning to continue to withdraw slowly.  I remove one bead each 2 weeks.  It is going okayish.  The major symptom that I feel with each drop of Luvox is tinnitus.  Even with 5% -7% decrease I feel it each time I remove that tiny bead.  What a powerful medicine.  And then I get a bit irritable and short fused.

 

As far as Nortryptoline goes I think it is helping me sleep and it did remove that anticipation anxiety.  The side effects - constipation, some dry mouth, and at night I feel my heart beat a bit fast for a few minutes.  It is concerning and I hope it will go away eventually.  Some nights I sleep and do not feel it and some I wake up to it.  

 

I had a sleep study done because my exhaustion was so terrible.  It was an overnight sleep study.  The results came back fine.  There is nothing wrong - no apnea, no narcolepsy.  I have a follow up appointment later in the month to discuss.  I am happy everything is fine, but on the other side I was hoping if I had apnea it could have explained my fatigue. 

 

I am doing okay overall.  The fatigue is still there but I am trying to just accept it and still manage to go to work and get through the days.  Some days I get home and I just collapse on the sofa and rest and watch tv, but I did have a day this week where fatigue was not as intense and I even wanted to go for a walk and exercise.  It was very nice and I was thankful

I am trying to exercise 30 mins every day and this week I managed to do that 4 days in a row, progress.  I am eating every few hours and try to be healthy - have proteins to stabilize my sugar, good fats, no sweets (with a few exception), and no simple carbs.  I started having cup of coffee in the morning also.  Few months ago this was not possible I was petrified,but now I seem fine.  I know I should stay away from it, but I do enjoy it and in the morning it helps to wake me up.  This torturous lethargy and pity feelings diminished.  I am learning how to accept myself and how to love myself the way I am.  It is like discovering myself as my emotions and feelings were so numbed for almost 10 years...  I still live a limited life where I cannot participate in many things, but I try to do little things here and there based on how I feel - dinner with a friend, trip to the park, shopping in town. 

 

I still struggle with my symptoms - I am never fully refreshed or rested, DP/DR are scary creatures, and anxiety is there too, I even had a panic attack in the middle of a store.  I was with a friend (new friend) and I do not think she realized.  I just kept thinking just breathe, you will be fine, and engage in conversation with store workers.  I was fine when I got home, but wiped out.  What helps me is remembering that prior to medication I was not like this.  I also have to reassure myself that there is nothing physically wrong with me - I had all possible tests done to rule it out.  And if I do suffer from anxiety there are other ways to overcome it.  

 

B.  

 

 

[apace41]

On 8/12/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

I still struggle with my symptoms - I am never fully refreshed or rested, DP/DR are scary creatures, and anxiety is there too,

 

I can so relate to all of these, Blondiee. So difficult to deal with day after day.

 

On 8/12/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

 

I had a sleep study done because my exhaustion was so terrible.  It was an overnight sleep study.  The results came back fine.  There is nothing wrong - no apnea, no narcolepsy.  I have a follow up appointment later in the month to discuss.  I am happy everything is fine, but on the other side I was hoping if I had apnea it could have explained my fatigue. 

 

None of the things they were looking for are good to have so it is good that you are negative for all (as someone chained to CPAP I can tell you it's not a walk in the park).  If you had an overnight you should get a copy of the results because they should have tested to see how much sleep you are getting at all of the different stages of sleep.  It would be good to know if you are deficient in any area of sleep (as opposed to simply if you are having apneas or hypopneas).  If you are not getting enough REM sleep that could account for your fatigue even if you are getting "enough" overall sleep.

 

On 8/12/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

I am trying to exercise 30 mins every day and this week I managed to do that 4 days in a row, progress.  I am eating every few hours and try to be healthy - have proteins to stabilize my sugar, good fats, no sweets (with a few exception), and no simple carbs.

 

That is great that you are doing that, Blondiee.  You should feel good about all of these lifestyle efforts you are putting in.

 

On 8/12/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

 I started having cup of coffee in the morning also.  Few months ago this was not possible I was petrified,but now I seem fine.  I know I should stay away from it, but I do enjoy it and in the morning it helps to wake me up.  This torturous lethargy and pity feelings diminished.

 

If you are tolerating it I don't see why you should not enjoy a cuppa in the morning.  As the mantra goes "listen to your body."  If it didn't want to have the coffee it would certainly let you know in the form of anxiety (or stomach upset).  There are plenty of people on SA who have been fine with coffee throughout.  No need to feel guilty.

 

On 8/12/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

 I am learning how to accept myself and how to love myself the way I am.  It is like discovering myself as my emotions and feelings were so numbed for almost 10 years...  I still live a limited life where I cannot participate in many things, but I try to do little things here and there based on how I feel - dinner with a friend, trip to the park, shopping in town.

 

All of this is very encouraging.  You are doing great, Blondiee.  Part of loving oneself is being a little self-congratulatory when the opportunity exists.  This is one of those moments.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Andy - thank you so much for your input, I really appreciate it .  I agree it is hard day after day with these symptoms sometimes better sometimes worse with patterns or not at a time.  

I am hoping and believeing that it will improve in time and that is still the effects of withdrawal and not necessarily me and my anxieties .  I so understand that feeling of despair and it will not get better during such difficult times but then feeling a tiny bit better and hearing that little voice inside saying it will get better it will improve 

 

Having an anxious morning with increased dp/dr and just out of it .  I have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me and it is not dangerous .  Hanging in there 

 

as far as sleep study goes I will make sure to get the results and see if there is anything in there indicating the reason for this fatigue

 

I am continuing with my regime of daily 30 mins exercise and meditation before bed 

 

I have another dillema with my father .  I live with my parents for now which is great most of the time, they are supporting and understanding .  My dad had a few panic attacks when he was about 45 or so and now he is having these episodes again .  He suffers from high blood pressure and is on medicine for that .  He was never on medication for anxiety and does not believe or understand the nature of panic disorder anxiety or depression . So every time he gets a panic attack I tell him to breathe relax but he freaks out and starts shaking and breathing fast and pacing around and even throwing up .  He is convinced there is something medically wrong with him and that is the cause .  I get frustrated and tell him just look at me I know what it feels like and I am trying to help you .  He just gets mad and thinks it is not true .  Any advice on how I can help him ? He is going back to the doctor in 2 weeks after having some blood work done . 

 

B 

[apace41]

47 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Any advice on how I can help him ? He is going back to the doctor in 2 weeks after having some blood work done . 

 

Hi, Blondiee.  Sorry to hear that you are struggling yourself and that you are trying to help your dad on top of that.  Make sure you take care of yourself first (the old "grab your oxygen mask first" mantra).

 

As far as your dad is concerned it is difficult because you are the "kid" and he is the "dad" so what you say will be discounted unless and until he "buys in."  One approach would be to say to him "Dad, I know you are not believing me about panic and anxiety so I will leave you alone for now, HOWEVER, if the doctor tells you the same thing at your appointment, and assures you there is nothing else wrong with you, will you allow me to share with you some of the things I have learned in dealing with this for so long?"

 

That way, you don't have to try to convince him now, but you can build in a case for when he will be more open to hearing what you have to say and learning from you how to cope with the situation.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Hi everyone, 

 

I need some advice.  So I started nortryptoline in June and now I am up at 10 mg.  I think it is helping general anxiety a bit as far as anticipating events and worrying about them and I am sleeping better but it did not help with fatigue nor dizziness nor dp/dr .  I am nervous about this increased heart beat that I am experiencing as a side effect but usually at night .  Sometimes it wakes me up .  Do you think I should try to reduce it and see if that helps?  It is freaky . 

 

My initial plan was to switch to this medication from Luvox or decrease Luvox faster as I was having issues still on it and I was hopeful nortryptoline (TCA) would help plus I read some feedback about helping dizziness as well.  I dont think I am ready to be off medication completely.  I am still trying to stabilize and have some normalcy in my life .  Unfortunately I can't withdraw Luvox too quickly.  Every time I drop a dose (bead about 4%decrease ) the tinnitus increases a day later but then it gets better .  

I am continuing to exercise at least 4-5 times a week it is a big progress for me for sure .           

 

Mentally I am okay -  don't feel depressed just very very tired/fatigued dizzy and dp/dr seemed to increase (probably due to a very stressful situation that happened last week ) 

 

Any advice would be appreciated ❤️

 

Happy friday day and a good weekend to everyone 

 

B 

 

[Frogie]

Hi Blondiee:

 

I'm not a dr or a mod, so take my opinion very lightly.

 

Would it help if you took one med in the morning, and one med at night so you aren't taking them at the same time?

 

Just a suggestion. I know when I switched my Lexapro to morning I did a lot better.

 

Hope other than that you are doing well. I'm not going into my problems on your thread, stop by mine if you get time and see what's been going on.

 

Have a great weekend.  

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

[apace41]

Hi, Blondiee.

 

You sound like you are managing reasonably well and that the dizziness and dp/dr, while annoying, are not causing you to become depressed.  That is a big thing.  So long as your overall mood and outlook remain stable you will be able to ride them out until they start to lift.

 

Given all that, and the fact that the nortryptiline is only providing very minor (if any) help, my view would be to taper off it relatively slowly and consider it an experiment that had neutral results.  At this point you are about 2 months into that med and you will hopefully be able to get off pretty smoothly.  The longer you stay on it the more likely that you will have difficulty coming off of it and then you have 2 drugs to taper.  As you said:
 

21 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I was hopeful nortryptoline (TCA) would help plus I read some feedback about helping dizziness as well.

 

You were hoping the new med would accelerate your ability to taper off the old med and help with the dizziness.  Based on your post, you no longer believe that it will help you in either regard.  That means it is not serving your original needs.  If it makes you modestly less generally anxious it is hard to know if that is a result of the drug, a placebo effect or just the passage of time.  

 

In my mind the better course is to reduce your overall med load.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Frogie - thank you so much for your suggestion I will give it a thought and perhaps try one weekend to see how I react.  Hope you are doing okay .  I will visit your thread later to catch up 

 

Andy - thank you for stopping by specially since you are dealing with a wave yourself .  I was never on the depressed side anxiety and panic are my problem .  But yes I agree if I am emotionally stable enough I should try to decrease tiny bit and see if it helps .  I was laying in my bed listening to my racing heart thinking it can't be good for my body what am I doing ?  My fear is I am going to lose it being off everything specially reading some stories here .... but I honestly can say I am a tiny bit better compared to how I was during winter early spring months .  I still have some liquid and will go super slow . 

Hope you are feeling a tiny bit better .  Good luck with your daughters move .  

[apace41]

2 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I was never on the depressed side anxiety and panic are my problem .

 

Yes, I know that you have dealt with anxiety and panic.  My point is that I would be really more concerned if you had developed depression based on the introduction of the nortryptiline (but that hasn't happened).  I doesn't sound like there has been a "meaningful shift" in your anxiety from taking it -- only a modest improvement in thought patterns. That's not enough for me to recommend continuation.

 

4 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

My fear is I am going to lose it being off everything specially reading some stories here .... but I honestly can say I am a tiny bit better compared to how I was during winter early spring months

 

I'm not sure what you mean by "off everything".  You are still on the Luvox, right?  I don't see anything in your history that suggests you will "lose it."  You've dealt with a fair number of meds but you have done so responsibly in large measure.  I think you will be fine getting off the nortryptiline and, if you had a real problem, you could reinstate.  I think it is worth any risk to reduce the number of meds you are on.

 

8 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Good luck with your daughters move

 

Thanks, Blondiee.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Blondiee1915]

Hello friends -

 

Today I took a day off work and decided to write an update.  It was nice to wake up and have no plans except for resting and enjoying this gorgeous day.  I am sitting with my window open having some am coffee, hearing my dog snoring near me - all is comforting .  I also have a massage scheduled this afternoon, looking forward to it as my body feels achy. 

 

Not too much has changed. I guess that is good news.  I continue to slide down on Luvox by removing 1 bead every 2-3 weeks and now I am at approx 25 mg.  The side effect I feel with that is increased ringing in my ears for few days, and some irritation where I do not want to be bothered and more fatigue.  But it is not too bad thankfully.  I am still on Nortryptoline and I am still indecisive on what I should do with that medication.  Around this time last year I was hit with severe withdrawal symptoms where I was terrified to walk, could not even drive myself to work on few occasions,  I was terrified of losing my job it was such a dark and intense situation.  I remember on weekends basically not doing anything, just laying on the sofa with TV on and sleeping.  So I am scarred of this fall/winter season because it is bringing those memories.  That is the truth.  So I am hoping to withdraw very very slowly on Luvox and not make any changes with Nortyptoline until early spring or if I feel much better.  

 

In general, I would say I am better than where I was last year.  I am not sure if I am doing this right and if I implicated my situation by restating with lexapro (my initial medication) than switching to Luvox, then adding Notryptoline, but I cannot penalize myself and I am learning as I go.  Of course I want to be off everything - that is the goal.  I am exercising more about 4 times a week.  That is huge for me.  I did not exercise at all while being on all these meds for 10 years.  So this is definitely progress.  My dizziness and dp/dr are still there and I notice if I am stressed or with little sleep it gets worse.  I guess I am just sensitive.  I experience little anxiety when walking outside with my dog or in anticipation of work week.  Before during those awful winter/fall periods I would get so anxious and tormented by thoughts how can I make it through the work week, I do not think I can do it.  But now I am okay.  T

 

The only hard part for me for dealing with work is the fatigue.  It is still here  .  The way it feels is that my body is heavy and I have some brain fog and I just need to lay down and rest.  My voice gets raspy sometimes too like I have not slept.  But I actually get 8 hours minimum of continued sleep a night. At work I feel like I cannot relax because if I do I am so tired I might fall asleep, I know that does not help my adrenals.  I even had a sleep study done (an overnight and a day sleep which included multiple naps).  The results were great.  I slept fine and the quality of sleep was good/normal.  Apnea and narcolepsy ruled out.  The doctor told me "You might not like what I will say but I recommend adderal".  I said no thank you.  The good thing is that if I rest alot I get sometimes a day or half a day in a week (usually on a weekend) where I feel okayish.  Still not refreshed but with a little more energy and can do things - like go to a store and meet friends.  So I am thankful.  I really hope the fatigue will continue to improve.  

 

Hope everyone is doing well and is okay <3 

 

B. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Frogie]

26 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Hello friends -

 

Today I took a day off work and decided to write an update.  It was nice to wake up and have no plans except for resting and enjoying this gorgeous day.  I am sitting with my window open having some am coffee, hearing my dog snoring near me - all is comforting .  I also have a massage scheduled this afternoon, looking forward to it as my body feels achy. 

 

Not too much has changed. I guess that is good news.  I continue to slide down on Luvox by removing 1 bead every 2-3 weeks and now I am at approx 25 mg.  The side effect I feel with that is increased ringing in my ears for few days, and some irritation where I do not want to be bothered and more fatigue.  But it is not too bad thankfully.  I am still on Nortryptoline and I am still indecisive on what I should do with that medication.  Around this time last year I was hit with severe withdrawal symptoms where I was terrified to walk, could not even drive myself to work on few occasions,  I was terrified of losing my job it was such a dark and intense situation.  I remember on weekends basically not doing anything, just laying on the sofa with TV on and sleeping.  So I am scarred of this fall/winter season because it is bringing those memories.  That is the truth.  So I am hoping to withdraw very very slowly on Luvox and not make any changes with Nortyptoline until early spring or if I feel much better.  

 

In general, I would say I am better than where I was last year.  I am not sure if I am doing this right and if I implicated my situation by restating with lexapro (my initial medication) than switching to Luvox, then adding Notryptoline, but I cannot penalize myself and I am learning as I go.  Of course I want to be off everything - that is the goal.  I am exercising more about 4 times a week.  That is huge for me.  I did not exercise at all while being on all these meds for 10 years.  So this is definitely progress.  My dizziness and dp/dr are still there and I notice if I am stressed or with little sleep it gets worse.  I guess I am just sensitive.  I experience little anxiety when walking outside with my dog or in anticipation of work week.  Before during those awful winter/fall periods I would get so anxious and tormented by thoughts how can I make it through the work week, I do not think I can do it.  But now I am okay.  T

 

The only hard part for me for dealing with work is the fatigue.  It is still here  .  The way it feels is that my body is heavy and I have some brain fog and I just need to lay down and rest.  My voice gets raspy sometimes too like I have not slept.  But I actually get 8 hours minimum of continued sleep a night. At work I feel like I cannot relax because if I do I am so tired I might fall asleep, I know that does not help my adrenals.  I even had a sleep study done (an overnight and a day sleep which included multiple naps).  The results were great.  I slept fine and the quality of sleep was good/normal.  Apnea and narcolepsy ruled out.  The doctor told me "You might not like what I will say but I recommend adderal".  I said no thank you.  The good thing is that if I rest alot I get sometimes a day or half a day in a week (usually on a weekend) where I feel okayish.  Still not refreshed but with a little more energy and can do things - like go to a store and meet friends.  So I am thankful.  I really hope the fatigue will continue to improve.  

 

Hope everyone is doing well and is okay <3 

 

B. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Blondiee:

 

I'm glad you took a day off to pamper yourself. You deserve it.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Blondiee1915]

I had to start taking an antibiotic for strep infection amoxicillin.  Does anyone know if that can effect the withdrawal ? I am feeling overall okay/ my regular normal.  But I did notice more tiredness than usual and more dizziness .  I was walking this afternoon and almost had a feeling I was going to faint and sort of a panicky feeling out of nowhere .  I have not had one of those in a while .  I was fine once I got home but still somewhat uneasy .  Maybe I am overthinking the antibiotic . 

Thank you !

[JJ33]

Did you try the Drug Interactions Checker?  I put in a few of the things you are taking and didn't come up with any results.  That doesn't mean it's not possible, of course.  Maybe someone will have a different story.

[Blondiee1915]

Hi JJ - thank you for the info.  I did read about interactions and didn't see any either .  I am still taking it just waiting for the infection to clear so I can stop . 

Hope you are doing okay ! 

B 

[bubble]

Amoxicillin is considered safe. SA has covered it all. You just google surviving antidepressants and anything you need to know and there you are:

 

 

[Frogie]

Hi Blondiee:

 

Just saw you were on an antibiotic. You are taking amoxicillin.

 

I went to the dr yesterday. I have strep like you. I'm allergic to anything to do with penicillin, so he put me on a z-pack. So far I'm ok. Took my 2 yesterday and 1 today. I don't feel any better though. But I'm sure it will take a few days.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Frogie - thank you so much for your input.  I am better and no more antibiotic.  I do not like taking any drugs these days unless I have to.  

 

 

 

 

[Blondiee1915]

Hi friends another update: 

 

I am down to 25 mg of Luvox and still on the same dose of Nortryptoline 10 mg.  I am planning to continue to decrease Luvox slowly and I am doing about 5% decrease every 2-3 weeks or so.  

 

My symptoms are still the same, and I wonder if this is my WD normal: 

 

1. Dizziness/spinning/off balance feeling.  It is pretty constant.  It gets worse with stress and not enough rest.  I wonder if this could also be a symptom of my anxiety as when I have to talk in front of people and be in a public place like a restaurant it seems to get worse.  The vertigo episodes that I had during winter months have not come back thankfully.  

 

2.  DP/DR and this general agoraphobic feeling, detachment.  Also worst with little rest and stress.  I also wonder if this is related to my general anxiety.  I have read that it can take sometime for the body to get back to normal after being in anxiety state and getting hit with DP/DR.  I am working on accepting and just continue on. 

 

3.  FATIGUE.  Still my biggest symptom.  I do think it is slightly better compared to a few months ago.  I actually was able to go to dinner on a week night this week and still managed to get through the whole work week even being tired.  Similar to 1 & 2 it is worst when I feel stressed and have little rest.  It feels like my body is so heavy and I am struggling to even walk, combined with brain fog and this need to just lay down and rest (not even sleep).  I do think if I have one day in the week where I can just rest up and do nothing my fatigue tends to be better.  I also wonder if this is anxiety related for me, who knows.  I reason that if it is anxiety related and if I continue to work on those coping skills meditation, exercise, diet, etc it has to improve.  And if it is indeed WD related it also has to improve, time heals everything right? 

 

4. Emotions.  I would say overall I am doing okay.  I do get discouraged often that maybe it is me and not the WD or medication and that I might not get better.  I have such a long history with SSRI that who knows how long it will take for me to get better.  But then I do have this part of me where I believe that it is possible that I will get better that I have to hold on and continue.  Just looking at my drugged up years it was like a blur.  Emotionally blunt and just not caring about anyone or anything.  Just now I am realizing how I was never present never me during those times.  There is so much I want to do with my life - I want to travel, meet someone special, get married, have kids and who knows what else.  I feel like my life is partially on hold mainly bc of the fatigue.  But I am learning to accept it.  It is limiting now, but I hope with time it will get better. Some people have deceases that permanently limit them yet they continue to live their lives, so this is what I have to do as well.  

 

Another random thought/observation.  I met up last night with my high school friends that I have not seen in a year or so.  It was nice to catch up and chat.  I was noticing that I could not relate to most of their conversation and wonder how we even ended up being friends in the first place.  They are good people, nice and chatty and outgoing.  The conversations were mainly about gossiping about others from school and what they are up to, talking about going out and drinking and partying and so on.  Maybe bc I have been struggling and so involved with this WD and became a bit of a loner the things they talked about just did not seem that important to me.  I do like gossip and so on but the whole get together and chat was almost pretentious.  I would have liked if we discussed what we can do together like go to a weekend yoga retreat or talk about travel and goals or something, but it was all about whose wedding everyone is going to and partying.  Maybe I have PTSD who knows and maybe if I never met SSRI and never experienced WD I would be just like that, I am not sure.  I wonder if anyone else experienced anything like that.  I feel that I am in this place where I am learning about me and getting in touch and trying to get grounded and be true to myself.  Maybe I can only be friends with people with similar experiences or people that went through some other form of hardship, I am not sure. 

 

One more thing I forgot to mention.  So I had to take 1/2 of 0.25 mg of xanax last night before I met with HS friends as I was travelling and anxious and nervous.  I was okay but this morning I woke up with what I can only call a hangover! Is this possible?  Last time I took a xanax was maybe a month ago and I did not feel like this.  My body feels heavy and my head is cloudy and I have this headache like I was drinking the night before.  I googled xanax hangover and some people have similar symptoms. 

 

Ok I am done with my rant for today.  Thanks for reading

 

B.   

[Frogie]

46 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Hi friends another update: 

 

I am down to 25 mg of Luvox and still on the same dose of Nortryptoline 10 mg.  I am planning to continue to decrease Luvox slowly and I am doing about 5% decrease every 2-3 weeks or so.  

 

My symptoms are still the same, and I wonder if this is my WD normal: 

 

1. Dizziness/spinning/off balance feeling.  It is pretty constant.  It gets worse with stress and not enough rest.  I wonder if this could also be a symptom of my anxiety as when I have to talk in front of people and be in a public place like a restaurant it seems to get worse.  The vertigo episodes that I had during winter months have not come back thankfully.  

 

2.  DP/DR and this general agoraphobic feeling, detachment.  Also worst with little rest and stress.  I also wonder if this is related to my general anxiety.  I have read that it can take sometime for the body to get back to normal after being in anxiety state and getting hit with DP/DR.  I am working on accepting and just continue on. 

 

3.  FATIGUE.  Still my biggest symptom.  I do think it is slightly better compared to a few months ago.  I actually was able to go to dinner on a week night this week and still managed to get through the whole work week even being tired.  Similar to 1 & 2 it is worst when I feel stressed and have little rest.  It feels like my body is so heavy and I am struggling to even walk, combined with brain fog and this need to just lay down and rest (not even sleep).  I do think if I have one day in the week where I can just rest up and do nothing my fatigue tends to be better.  I also wonder if this is anxiety related for me, who knows.  I reason that if it is anxiety related and if I continue to work on those coping skills meditation, exercise, diet, etc it has to improve.  And if it is indeed WD related it also has to improve, time heals everything right? 

 

4. Emotions.  I would say overall I am doing okay.  I do get discouraged often that maybe it is me and not the WD or medication and that I might not get better.  I have such a long history with SSRI that who knows how long it will take for me to get better.  But then I do have this part of me where I believe that it is possible that I will get better that I have to hold on and continue.  Just looking at my drugged up years it was like a blur.  Emotionally blunt and just not caring about anyone or anything.  Just now I am realizing how I was never present never me during those times.  There is so much I want to do with my life - I want to travel, meet someone special, get married, have kids and who knows what else.  I feel like my life is partially on hold mainly bc of the fatigue.  But I am learning to accept it.  It is limiting now, but I hope with time it will get better. Some people have deceases that permanently limit them yet they continue to live their lives, so this is what I have to do as well.  

 

Another random thought/observation.  I met up last night with my high school friends that I have not seen in a year or so.  It was nice to catch up and chat.  I was noticing that I could not relate to most of their conversation and wonder how we even ended up being friends in the first place.  They are good people, nice and chatty and outgoing.  The conversations were mainly about gossiping about others from school and what they are up to, talking about going out and drinking and partying and so on.  Maybe bc I have been struggling and so involved with this WD and became a bit of a loner the things they talked about just did not seem that important to me.  I do like gossip and so on but the whole get together and chat was almost pretentious.  I would have liked if we discussed what we can do together like go to a weekend yoga retreat or talk about travel and goals or something, but it was all about whose wedding everyone is going to and partying.  Maybe I have PTSD who knows and maybe if I never met SSRI and never experienced WD I would be just like that, I am not sure.  I wonder if anyone else experienced anything like that.  I feel that I am in this place where I am learning about me and getting in touch and trying to get grounded and be true to myself.  Maybe I can only be friends with people with similar experiences or people that went through some other form of hardship, I am not sure. 

 

One more thing I forgot to mention.  So I had to take 1/2 of 0.25 mg of xanax last night before I met with HS friends as I was travelling and anxious and nervous.  I was okay but this morning I woke up with what I can only call a hangover! Is this possible?  Last time I took a xanax was maybe a month ago and I did not feel like this.  My body feels heavy and my head is cloudy and I have this headache like I was drinking the night before.  I googled xanax hangover and some people have similar symptoms. 

 

Ok I am done with my rant for today.  Thanks for reading

 

B.   

I'm glad you got to go out and catch up with your friends. I'm sure it was nice, even though you kinda felt out of place. I know exactly how you feel. I do the same thing. I think it's all WD. You are lucky to be off the Xanax for the most part. I still rake 1mg 3-4 times a day. 

 

I'm glad you are feeling better. I still have 1 more pill to go on the z-pack and still feel like I did the 1st day. My throat is still the same, no fever though.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx