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Blondiee1915: 3 months off lexapro - does it get better?


Blondiee1915

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Blondiee.  Thanks for the update.

 

On 10/15/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

Another random thought/observation.  I met up last night with my high school friends that I have not seen in a year or so.  It was nice to catch up and chat.  I was noticing that I could not relate to most of their conversation and wonder how we even ended up being friends in the first place.  They are good people, nice and chatty and outgoing.  The conversations were mainly about gossiping about others from school and what they are up to, talking about going out and drinking and partying and so on.  Maybe bc I have been struggling and so involved with this WD and became a bit of a loner the things they talked about just did not seem that important to me.  I do like gossip and so on but the whole get together and chat was almost pretentious.  I would have liked if we discussed what we can do together like go to a weekend yoga retreat or talk about travel and goals or something, but it was all about whose wedding everyone is going to and partying.  Maybe I have PTSD who knows and maybe if I never met SSRI and never experienced WD I would be just like that, I am not sure.  I wonder if anyone else experienced anything like that.  I feel that I am in this place where I am learning about me and getting in touch and trying to get grounded and be true to myself.  Maybe I can only be friends with people with similar experiences or people that went through some other form of hardship, I am not sure. 

 

I think that when we go through something as life-changing and all-encompassing as psych med withdrawal, life becomes far more "serious" for us.  This is positive in that we value life more and are not willing to simply live at a "surface level."  We want it to be real and have true meaning.  The negative, however, is that we find it very hard to simply live and have fun because sometimes silliness and things that are not deep and significant can be a great time.  I think that over time as you heal the ability to enjoy those things will come back somewhat but I think you will forever want most things to have more meaning because you have seen how fragile it all can be.

 

On 10/15/2017 at 9:47 AM, Blondiee1915 said:

One more thing I forgot to mention.  So I had to take 1/2 of 0.25 mg of xanax last night before I met with HS friends as I was travelling and anxious and nervous.  I was okay but this morning I woke up with what I can only call a hangover! Is this possible?  Last time I took a xanax was maybe a month ago and I did not feel like this.  My body feels heavy and my head is cloudy and I have this headache like I was drinking the night before.  I googled xanax hangover and some people have similar symptoms. 

 

I think the less frequently you take the Xanax the more of a shock it is to your system and that might explain the 'hangover" as it definitely sounds like the effect of the benzo to me.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator

Over the years I have found very little interest in reconnecting with BFFs from high school.  In reality we had very little in common except the shared experience of being teenagers.  It was fun, exciting and confusing to go through, but nothing I'd like to repeat.  The friends I have reconnected with have all matured in different directions, many of which are opposite of what I have. I would rather leave it in the past with a few fond memories than try to rekindle something that didn't really exist.  To me the teen years being "the best years of our lives" is a fantasy perpetuated by people who have never taken control of their lives and matured.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you Andy and brassmonkey for your input and sorry for delay in responding 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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I am having a not so good day .  I forgot to take Luvox last night and ended up taking it this morning .  It is extended release so not sure if that could make such a big difference and impact.  I am basically feeling very disbalanced and super dizzy, almost like vertigo and everything is spinning .  I am debating if I should go home or just suck it up for another few hours as I did take off few days here and there already and feel guilty missing work .  I did have a few stressful days last week so maybe that pushed me a bit overboard who knows . I am also considering possibly switching to regular Luvox so that I can measure my dosage correctly bc the beads in the capsule that I could do vary in size and that makes me a bit nervous .  

 

I an stulruggling with accepting the current state I am in.  I keep being hard on myself for not doing enough or accepting enough or not looking for other solutions .  I don't want to experiment with taking more medications or take some other medication bc I went through it few years back and it didn't go too well either - still anxious maybe happier a bit but side effects were not worth it .  I am going to look for a therapist and see if that could help me somewhat .  I am just puzzled as to why I feel this way - depression anxiety WD some other disorder .  I am looking forward to going home and just resting .  Few more hours 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sorry you are struggling today and overall, Blondiee.  I sympathize and empathize. This is not easy and not for the faint of heart.

 

The good news is that things tend to cycle and you can just as easily feel better by tonight and certainly tomorrow.  Given the placebo and nocebo effect that is in play with the meds it is entirely possible that the KNOWLEDGE that you missed the Luvox is partly to blame for the increase in symptoms.  I think it will settle down once you get home and into a place of relative safety.

 

Thoughts with you.  Hang in there.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Hi Andy, 

 

Thank you so much.  I can always count on your wise words and it did make me feel better .  I keep forgetting that part that things can get better bc I did have a few okay days and for sure they will come back .  And I probably will feel better once I am home .   Hope you are doing well 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
20 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I keep forgetting that part that things can get better bc I did have a few okay days and for sure they will come back .

 

One of the most insidious things about withdrawal is that when you are ensconced in a wave -- no matter how short-lived -- you are unable to see to the shore. It feels like you were never better and there is no hope that you will get better again.  This is all a big withdrawal lie but it feels so real.

 

Trying to ride the wave into shore is the great challenge of withdrawal.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

On October 31 it was exactly a year since I reinstated after enduring WD from a CT for about 3 months.  Reflecting back to where I was then I am better now, but I did think I would be much better off today and it is disappointing.  I keep reading stories of individuals suffering for years with little relief and it makes me worries and scarred.  I feel like my progress is slow and I am still not out of the black hole that I felt I was in last year.  But..... I am better, even if it is a little bit.  I am learning I cannot be greedy.  I remember driving to work last year and thinking there is something terribly wrong with me and that the hospital is not too far away and I should just check myself in if I get to sick at work.  Now I don't have those thoughts.  

 

My biggest symptoms are the fatigue and dizziness.  The fatigue gets pretty bad and working full time is a struggle.  Sometimes I sit at the desk and I have no energy to get up and even go to the printer to pick up print outs.  It is even a struggle to take a breath my body feels heavy like I have not rested.  I need at least a day during the week where I lay in bed and just rest and sleep.  I take vitamins and eat semi healthy but the fatigue is not lifting much since a year ago.  I am not sure how this is possible.  I have not exercised in a week or so and I do know that exercise does help and I have to make an effort to do it.  

 

As far as my mood I seem okay.  I do not feel depressed or hopeless.  I do get sad when I think about my limitations and where I am in life but I do believe I will get better eventually.  So hopefully I will continue to improve.  

 

Here is another situation.  I met someone a few weeks ago.  He is a nice person and we have been texting and hung out a few times.  I do like him and I think he likes me.  But a lot of times I have to make something up if he wants to hang out and I do not know if I can continue.  How do I tell a person what is going on with me.  I am mad at myself for allowing this to happen and now I feel like I have to make something up to end what is going on.  I do not want to and I do have fun when we hang out and I actually feel normal after that I am not this handicapped person and someone can be interested in me.  But again I am so limited in what I can do due to this fatigue and dizziness.  I do not even know how to approach it with him.  For instance if he wants to go to a concert I cannot.  I still struggle with anxiety and social phobia and too many people or closed spaces are too much stimulation for me.  I know I should not worry about it and focus on my recovery and this is clearly not a priority.  

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Blondiee,

 

17 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Reflecting back to where I was then I am better now, but I did think I would be much better off today and it is disappointing.  I keep reading stories of individuals suffering for years with little relief and it makes me worries and scarred.  I feel like my progress is slow and I am still not out of the black hole that I felt I was in last year.  But..... I am better, even if it is a little bit.

 

It is good that you can look back a year and see improvement.  I know from personal experience that when you look back a year and it seems worse it is very deflating.  That's where I am now so at least you can look forward toward more improvement.  Of course, it always has to be considered based on where you are measuring from.  Since you had done a c/t you were probably in a pretty awful place so thankfully you are at least up off the mat.

 

18 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

My biggest symptoms are the fatigue and dizziness.  The fatigue gets pretty bad and working full time is a struggle.  Sometimes I sit at the desk and I have no energy to get up and even go to the printer to pick up print outs.  It is even a struggle to take a breath my body feels heavy like I have not rested.  I need at least a day during the week where I lay in bed and just rest and sleep.  I take vitamins and eat semi healthy but the fatigue is not lifting much since a year ago.  I am not sure how this is possible.  I have not exercised in a week or so and I do know that exercise does help and I have to make an effort to do it.  

 

It is amazing how these symptoms take hold of us and don't want to let go.  You say you have had fatigue like this for a year.  It's bizarre to me that a young, otherwise healthy person would have this happen from these drugs.  The more I see this the more angry I get.  Perhaps I'm just more angry today because I've been in a deep struggle but the fact that these meds are disabling people the way they are, without any informed consent, is really reprehensible.

 

18 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

As far as my mood I seem okay.  I do not feel depressed or hopeless.  I do get sad when I think about my limitations and where I am in life but I do believe I will get better eventually.  So hopefully I will continue to improve.  

 

This is a HUGE positive.  Keeping your mood positive will have a valuable effect on you as you go forward.  This is one that I need to keep trying to remind myself because I REALLY struggle with it to be honest.

 

18 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Here is another situation.  I met someone a few weeks ago.  He is a nice person and we have been texting and hung out a few times.  I do like him and I think he likes me.  But a lot of times I have to make something up if he wants to hang out and I do not know if I can continue.  How do I tell a person what is going on with me.  I am mad at myself for allowing this to happen and now I feel like I have to make something up to end what is going on.  I do not want to and I do have fun when we hang out and I actually feel normal after that I am not this handicapped person and someone can be interested in me.  But again I am so limited in what I can do due to this fatigue and dizziness.  I do not even know how to approach it with him.  For instance if he wants to go to a concert I cannot.  I still struggle with anxiety and social phobia and too many people or closed spaces are too much stimulation for me.  I know I should not worry about it and focus on my recovery and this is clearly not a priority.  

 

 

Here's the thing.  If someone could say to you "Blondiee -- you will be well in _____ (fill in a time frame)" you could delay things like this until you got better because you could adjust your expectations to meet that date.  But nobody can.  So, at the end of the day you have to live with this until it is better.  So, given that, why not try to have a life that you will enjoy in the interim?  If I were in your shoes, if I got the sense this was someone who cared and was really interested, I would broach the subject by just dipping a toe in the water.  Substance is for you to decide.  If you see him as being receptive I would then let out a little more until you are in a position to let him hear the full thing.  You might find he runs like there's no tomorrow, but if that's the case he wasn't the right person for you.  And, if he turns out to be receptive, you might have found a keeper.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
18 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

this is clearly not a priority.  

 

 

Oh Blondie but it is! I got married while in withdrawal :)

 

This is going on for too long to put our lives on hold. If somebody really cares about you they will accept you the way you are. If not, they were not worth to cry about but surely you have nothing to lose by seeing how things will develop.

 

I like very much what Andy suggested. You deserve something nice to happen! And even if it stops here it's already been something nice. But don't let WD get in the way!

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Andy and Bubble - thank you so much for your input, you cheered me up .  I will take it a day at a time and see what happens and how things go.  If he is the one hopefully he will understand and as Andy suggested I can always just dip my toes and not spell my entire drug history and the aftermath .

 

I started reading Clare Weekes book and I am pretty sure she is writing about me .  On every page I see myself and I cannot believe how long I waited to give it a read .  I am realizing that I do have an anxiety disorder which I never truly addressed.  I never accepted floated and let the time pass.  I believe in addition to the WD symptoms my anxiety intensifies the fatigue and dizziness.  My nervous system is sensitive bc of drugs and the anxiety as well .  I am going to implement some of her suggestions and I am actually optimistic about it.  

 

She talked about sedation in one of the chapters and how overly sensitized nervous system might need just that.  She discussed how a person advised by a doctor can desensitize its nervous system by taking sedatives for a few days or even weeks .  I guess it is bc the person is so desensitized that he or she cannot come down from anxiety symptoms .  I am wondering what everyone thinks about this ? To me it sounds like a magic trick - you take benzos for a week or two and then you are not anxious, then stop the benzo and work on non drug techniques going forward.  I am nervous that maybe desensitizing myself is not possible for me as I do feel anxiety on the daily basis and only have the weekends to rest and restore . And I am not certain I want to sedate myself for a few days either.  Or I might have to give myself more credit and belief that by continuously engaging in exercise, eating healthy, meditation and practicing acceptance and float my nerves will eventually desensitize .  But then again maybe it is not my anxiety that desensitized me but WD for which all I can do is wait ....   this is me just thinking out loud . 

 

I also made made an appointment to see a therapist tomorrow.  I hope I can connect with her and she can be helpful in my recovery .  

 

Thanks again bubble and andy, your nice words and support mean a lot .  Hope you are doing well / managing and I will make sure to catch up on your updates 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment

Bubble - that is awesome ! Maybe I will get married in my WD . Obviously not ideal but it's pretty encouraging that you can still do things and live some 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment

Hi Blondiee1915

 

I was just reading some of your thread. I ct’d 15mg lexapro in June, then reinstated 10mg a month later and halved to 5mg in Sept before I knew any better. 

 

But I’ve also been through two other cts in this time (pregabalin/Lyrica and Zopiclone, sleeping pill, and ended up on diazepam). 

 

I was wondering if things levelled out for you on the 5mg eventually?

 

My symptoms are severe. Akathisia, racing head, terror, anxiety and others. I’ve had some windows but not a lot. I also have CFS anyway which I had for years but am sure the lexapro didn’t help.

 

Nikki

2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. 

June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg

Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May.  Start June stop pregablin after two week taper.  End June.  Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July  returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end)

diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm

8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May  @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam)

2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut  to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg

2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg  clonazepam 0.80 mg  mirtazapine 15 mg

2019 October present drugs:  Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals),  clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018),  mirtazapine 15 mg

2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg

previous signature here  recent dosing and symptom logs here

 

 

Link to comment

Hi Nikki - sorry you are struggling.  To be honest I am still struggling but I am better than where I was when I cold turkeys and reinstated (which was a year ago).  I also did reinstate with lexapro but I decided to switch to another SSRI as I did not feel much relief and I do think bc I was on lexapro for so long and it popped out on me.   I would say it took about 6 - 7 months to feel somewhat less symptomatic.  I did try to eat healthier attempted to exercise when I had the energy and listen to meditations at night.  Some days are better than others.  My main symptoms are dizziness and fatigue, some dp/dr.  I do struggle with anxiety and panic attacks which is what put me on lexapro in the first place so I know I have to work on that 

 

Did you have CFS prior to starting the SSRI?   One of my biggest symptoms is fatigue and I suspect lexapro is the cause of that and now in WD it is even worse.  

 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hi Blondiee:

 

Just wanted to stop by and say hi.

 

I had a horrible anxiety attack last week when I tapered. No nausea, so I guess this is my new symptom.

 

Enough of me,  I hope you are a little better.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment

Hi Frogie - thank you for stopping by .  Anxiety attacks are horrible .  Sorry you had to experience that but I am glad that it passed . Good thing you have no nausea .  

 

I am doing okay .  Some days are better than others 

 

I have this horrible cold sore that is not going away for a few weeks now .  I also have burning tingling sensations around the area and I was put on valtrex suppressive therapy for 30 days .  I feel like it is not working but I am trying to be patient and give it more time .  I read that stress can cause the outbreak and I am working on relaxing but easier said than done .  I had cold sores in the past but they lasted few days this time it is pretty bad and is not going away .  I read about Lysine maybe I can try that as well 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator
Just now, Blondiee1915 said:

Hi Frogie - thank you for stopping by .  Anxiety attacks are horrible .  Sorry you had to experience that but I am glad that it passed . Good thing you have no nausea .  

 

I am doing okay .  Some days are better than others 

 

I have this horrible cold sore that is not going away for a few weeks now .  I also have burning tingling sensations around the area and I was put on valtrex suppressive therapy for 30 days .  I feel like it is not working but I am trying to be patient and give it more time .  I read that stress can cause the outbreak and I am working on relaxing but easier said than done .  I had cold sores in the past but they lasted few days this time it is pretty bad and is not going away .  I read about Lysine maybe I can try that as well 

 

 

Guess anxiety is going to be my new tapering symptom. And I take Xanax. Oh, well.

 

I've never had a cold sore, guess I'm lucky. But I know people that have had them. They put peroxide on them and then Abreva. It seemed to work.

 

But I'm not a dr, so do what he says. He knows more than me.

 

Hope it goes away soon for you. Other than that, are you doing better?

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment

I am giving it until Friday and then will go see a doctor if not better .  

I am a bit better but I do have some bad dreadful days like today where fatigue and dizziness get the best of me .  I am hanging in there 

thanks for asking frogie 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator
6 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I am giving it until Friday and then will go see a doctor if not better .  

I am a bit better but I do have some bad dreadful days like today where fatigue and dizziness get the best of me .  I am hanging in there 

thanks for asking frogie 

 

What are you going to do? Whatever you do, please don't go cold turkey!

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

time for another update...

 

I had my 2nd therapy session and I left after crying (no self pity here).  I am not sure why I was this upset.  I struggled to explain that my symptoms are mainly due to long term SSRI exposure and WD, it is like noone understands.  I know the way I feel for over a year is crappy and talking to the therapist about my daily limitations and life on hold made me sad.  And the fact that I could not even explain fully how this is not just a typical anxiety or depression made me re-think the possibility that there is something mentally wrong with me.  I just felt so alone and misunderstood and I kept thinking how to this therapist I look like an easy fix - just call your doctor and get the meds and you will feel better soon.  It is not that easy and I did try for a while to find that magic pill that can help me.  Problem is I never found it and I do not think it exists. 

 

I am not fully anti-medication and I do believe that in certain emergency cases it can be helpful but it should not be long term.  I told her that I do not believe that in order to function in this society I need to be medicated.  Plus it is a shot in the dark and noone knows how these pills affect people and it is like a guessing game, plus side effects, plus long term side effects. 

 

I left feeling worse than prior to my session.  I am not sure if I should continue with therapy at this point.  It seems that no doctor understands it and it gets lonely and scary to deal with this alone.  I spoke to her about my non drug coping skills - meditation, yoga, vitamins, self help books, healthy eating, exercise, practicing acceptance being gentle etc.  She had nothing really to add. 

 

It seems that I know what to do and try to do that as much as I can but things are still rough.  Am I being greedy to want more progress?  I really thought a year later I would see much progress.  I know I am feeding more fear dread and self criticism that fuel my anxiety and depression but I am just having one of those days where I cannot be strong.  

 

One a positive - I had my physical today and my new doctor seems very caring.  I talked to her about my issues and she basically suggested resting, exercising, eating organic for my fatigue and trying rehab for dizziness.  She also said to stay away from stimulants which I do appreciate.  

 

Hope everyone is doing well 

 

B.

 

 

Edited by apace41
Too dense text -- made more readable

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Blondiee,

 

First off, I edited your post to put some separation in.  Not a question of grammatical correctness -- just readability.  It was all one big block and I think this will make it easier.

 

19 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I had my 2nd therapy session and I left after crying (no self pity here).  I am not sure why I was this upset.  I struggled to explain that my symptoms are mainly due to long term SSRI exposure and WD, it is like noone understands.  I know the way I feel for over a year is crappy and talking to the therapist about my daily limitations and life on hold made me sad.  And the fact that I could not even explain fully how this is not just a typical anxiety or depression made me re-think the possibility that there is something mentally wrong with me.  I just felt so alone and misunderstood and I kept thinking how to this therapist I look like an easy fix - just call your doctor and get the meds and you will feel better soon.  It is not that easy and I did try for a while to find that magic pill that can help me.  Problem is I never found it and I do not think it exists. 

 

Heather Ashton, in her epic work on Benzo withdrawal, said that it was useless to go for therapy during withdrawal because we are so unable to process in the manner that therapy is intended to help.  I do not believe that and go every three weeks, but I recognize that there are times when it is not very fruitful depending on how I feel when I go in.  In a bad wave I sometimes think I'd be better off not going.  There is nothing mentally wrong with you, however, "just withdrawal."  It is like nobody understands because most people -- including therapists -- don't understand.  If you are going to a therapist for understanding about this process that's probably not a great idea.  If you are going to understand the you that exists underneath (subject to the limitations you may have on reaching her in w/d) that's a good reason to go.

 

19 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I am not fully anti-medication and I do believe that in certain emergency cases it can be helpful but it should not be long term.  I told her that I do not believe that in order to function in this society I need to be medicated.  Plus it is a shot in the dark and noone knows how these pills affect people and it is like a guessing game, plus side effects, plus long term side effects. 

 

I am not anti-medication in the big picture but am becoming more and more anti-medication in the psych world.  Other than using sedatives when someone is in a self-harm situation I'm finding it increasingly difficult to see the value, certainly for the longer term as you say.  Reasonably minds can differ on this point, but you should not have to justify your views to anyone.  I fully agree that it is a crapshoot as to whether the patient responds favorably or not.  That is likely due, in most cases, to the power of the placebo effect in that patient.

 

19 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I left feeling worse than prior to my session.  I am not sure if I should continue with therapy at this point.  It seems that no doctor understands it and it gets lonely and scary to deal with this alone.  I spoke to her about my non drug coping skills - meditation, yoga, vitamins, self help books, healthy eating, exercise, practicing acceptance being gentle etc.  She had nothing really to add. 

 

If therapy makes you feel worse then I would certainly think long and hard about continuing.  If your therapist has "nothing really to add" I would not go back to her.  It could be that therapy is not right for you at this moment, but it also could be that this therapist is not right for you.  If you want to try it again with someone who perhaps "gets it" a little more, it might make sense to do a "phone interview" prior a first session.

 

19 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

It seems that I know what to do and try to do that as much as I can but things are still rough.  Am I being greedy to want more progress?  I really thought a year later I would see much progress.  I know I am feeding more fear dread and self criticism that fuel my anxiety and depression but I am just having one of those days where I cannot be strong.  

 

ALL OF THIS is part of withdrawal.  The anxieties and the self-doubt and the feeling like there is not progress.  It is insidious but there have been times when you have seen more progress in the past -- you just can't recall that right now.  And, be kind to yourself, as you are entitled to have "one of those days" or many of them if  you need them.  You are not being "greedy" to want more progress.  When you stop wanting more progress that is when you need to worry.  Don't put a time frame on it.  Someone can expect to see healing at one year and find it happen at day 366 -- when your healing has moved forward far enough you will see the recovery.  It is happening on some level within the deep recesses of your brain.

 

19 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

One a positive - I had my physical today and my new doctor seems very caring.  I talked to her about my issues and she basically suggested resting, exercising, eating organic for my fatigue and trying rehab for dizziness.  She also said to stay away from stimulants which I do appreciate.  

 

Having even one medical professional "in your camp" is a big plus. Frequently those people "flock together" and she might have a referral to a like-minded therapist.  Worth a call or email.

 

Hang in there, Blondiee.  Things will get better for you soon. This is just a blip.

 

Best,

 

Andy 

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hi Blondiee:

 

I saw that you went to therapy and it wasn't helpful. I go to therapy and it does help me a lot. BUT, it took me like 4-5 different therapists before I found one that understood me and my problems. This one is great. She isn't a medical dr or psychiatrist, but she has studied a lot about the meds and is helping me with my taper, along with this site and my dr allowing me to taper at my own speed. There are lots of times I sit and cry in my sessions, but she understands me now, and we are working on tools to help me. Like Andy said, you might have to go to a few therapists before you find one you mesh with.

 

I just wanted to know how you were doing? I hadn't talked with you for a while.

 

Let me know how you are and how the therapy goes. I wish you luck.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment

Andy & Frogie - thank you for your response and input.  I do agree that if the therapy sessions make me feel worse then I should probably not go or find another therapist.  I am going to try one more time this coming week and see what happens.  If it does not work out I am going to look for another therapist for sure.  I do think a right person can help me.  It is just the matter of finding that right person for me.  

 

I am managing.  I have been feeling pretty anxious lately and my anticipation anxiety is getting the best of me.  But I am trying.  I had an event to go to last night and I felt so anxious.  The anxiety manifested into this feeling of not being present, being in the head, detached, dizzy and even disoriented.  I tried to have a few sips of champagne to see if it can relax me but it gave me such a headache and I stopped.  Then the feelings of weakness and faintness overwhelmed me.  It was scary at times.  I tried to be present and I did manage to stay at the event for the whole 3 hours. 

 

I was getting jealous looking at happy couples enjoying the moment, drinking wine, and all that.  And here is me worrying about passing out or fainting or embarrassing myself in front of everyone and just trying to make it and not run away.   But I am glad I went and made it and that is the important part.  As they say fake it until you make it. 

 

Today I am taking it easy.  I do feel like I was hit by the bus from the whole week of work and last night's event.  I am watching Christmas movies with my dog and planning on taking a bath later and finishing up reading Clare Weekes book. 

 

Hopefully next week will be better. 

 

B.

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Two updates - a good one and a bad one. 

 

Will start with a bad one first.  My fatigue has been so terrible for the past few days.  Body is heavy like lead and achy.  Literary hurts to even breathe at times and walking and talking takes so much effort.  And again this spinning and dizziness constantly so present and with fatigue is even worse. I come home from work and just rest on the sofa.  Can this still be WD?  I sure hope so and believe it will pass soon.  I know anxiety can cause crushing fatigue and I am not really doing anything stressful or anxiety provoking.  I do not want to add a stimulant so I have no other choice than to continue on.  Right?  What else can I do to help this fatigue?  I keep looking on forum for similar experiences of fatigue that lasts this long but I cannot find any. 

 

I did get a massage on Saturday and the next day I felt like I was hit by the bus.  Could maybe that add to my fatigue?  Additionally, I stopped taking my Adren All supplement maybe that is also adding to that.  I am trying not to be discouraged.  Sorry for the rant.  Just sucks about this fatigue.  I feel like if it lifts I will be so happy and can actually participate in life.  I am dreaming of doing all the things I want to do and hopefully will start doing soon.  

 

Positive now.  This is not in regards to WD or my symptoms but I thought I'd share.  I passed my CPA exam :)  I cannot believe it.  I took all 4 parts within the last 16 months or so and I still cannot believe I pulled it off.  I remember while studying I was so exhausted that I had to do it in bed alot and also dizzy with eyes heavy and room spinning.  I felt so often that I was slow at processing the information and not being able to retain it.  But I did pass and all 4 on the first try and I am very proud.  I am self critical and hard on myself by nature and it is very unlike me to be proud of my accomplishment.  This morning I drove to work and cried in the car because I was happy :)

 

B. 

 

 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Will start with a bad one first.  My fatigue has been so terrible for the past few days.  Body is heavy like lead and achy.  Literary hurts to even breathe at times and walking and talking takes so much effort.  And again this spinning and dizziness constantly so present and with fatigue is even worse. I come home from work and just rest on the sofa.  Can this still be WD?  I sure hope so and believe it will pass soon.  I know anxiety can cause crushing fatigue and I am not really doing anything stressful or anxiety provoking.  I do not want to add a stimulant so I have no other choice than to continue on.  Right?  What else can I do to help this fatigue?  I keep looking on forum for similar experiences of fatigue that lasts this long but I cannot find any. 

 

I did get a massage on Saturday and the next day I felt like I was hit by the bus.  Could maybe that add to my fatigue?  Additionally, I stopped taking my Adren All supplement maybe that is also adding to that.  I am trying not to be discouraged.  Sorry for the rant.  Just sucks about this fatigue.  I feel like if it lifts I will be so happy and can actually participate in life.  I am dreaming of doing all the things I want to do and hopefully will start doing soon.  

 

 

B,

 

I'm sorry you are dealing with the fatigue, and I know you are trying to find someone "as fatigued" as you are, but I have seen SO MANY people complaining of "crushing" fatigue over the years that I truly believe this is a withdrawal symptom that will fade over time.  As hard as it is to believe, I think there will come a day when it will start to lift and you will never look back.

 

1 hour ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Positive now.  This is not in regards to WD or my symptoms but I thought I'd share.  I passed my CPA exam :)  I cannot believe it.  I took all 4 parts within the last 16 months or so and I still cannot believe I pulled it off.  I remember while studying I was so exhausted that I had to do it in bed alot and also dizzy with eyes heavy and room spinning.  I felt so often that I was slow at processing the information and not being able to retain it.  But I did pass and all 4 on the first try and I am very proud.  I am self critical and hard on myself by nature and it is very unlike me to be proud of my accomplishment.  This morning I drove to work and cried in the car because I was happy :)

 

 

What an incredible accomplishment given all you are going through.  Very proud of you and happy for you.  I'm glad you could feel the emotion and cry tears of happiness and pride.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator

Way to go Blondiee-- congratulations on passing all our exams.  Pulling something like off while in WD is incredible.

 

Constant fatigue is a hallmark of WD.  It can come and go in waves and windows, but it's one of the last symptoms to clear up.  WD is a very physically and mentally demanding process it takes all of our resources to get through it.  Get as much rest as you can and pace yourself the rest of the time.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Andy and brassmonkey -  thank you so much for your kind words .  This accomplishment in WD really feels amazing .  I keep telling my dog "see your mom is not a complete vegetable and is actually smart ☺️"

 

I have to continue to let myself rest and take it a step at a time .  The fatigue did feel somewhat better and only a few couple days it hit back in intensity.  I have to be patient and work on acceptance .  It is just as you think it is improving and then bam here it goes again leaves me scared and unsure .  Thank you for your encouragement and words of reassurance.  

 

b

 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hi Blondiee:

 

I posted on my thread on what's going on with me.

 

I didn't read your thread, but hope you are doing well.

 

Just wanted to stop by and say hi, and Merry Christmas!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator

Hi:

 

Just wanted to stop by and say hi.

 

Hope you are feeling better.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I had a panic attack today at work, it was scary.  I think what triggered it was that I put a wrong contact in my right eye (much weaker prescription) and when I got up and started walking to the kitchen at work I got so dizzy and then I started thinking my blood sugar dropped and I am going to faint and be humiliated.  And so the cycle continued, I felt myself going from dizzy to disbalanced to a complete detachment, feeling hot sweaty, very weak, and tight thinking the worst and ready to faint in any minute.  I felt like my tools that I practiced just went out the window.  I kept hearing the "I accept and allow this anxious feeling" but the other part of me kept saying "No, there is something wrong and you are going to faint".  Why can I not pass this fear of humiliating and fainting in front of my colleagues? I did stay with it and tried to be aware of my breathing and making sure it was not too fast.  I know the best way to beat this anxiety and panic is acceptance and just floating, but today I just felt like there has to be something wrong.  I am pretty sure it is all anxiety, but the fear was so intense and so real.  I am planning on bringing enough snacks so that I do not freak out about blood sugar tomorrow.  Also, I know I cannot run away from it and should really look at this as a way to practice acceptance and facing it,  I am just scarred, yet I refuse to hide.  As one of my therapists said you don't have to be fearless you just have to be brave.  The good thing is that it did go away,  and after I was able to have a somewhat okay day.  

 

Fatigue is still present, but has been a bit better the past few days (I am scarred to jinx it).  I notice when I stress out or overdo the next day I need to rest and just let my body relax.  I am hoping my adrenals are slowly recovering from all of this.  I make sure to do cardio 20 mins at least twice a week and yoga 20 - 30 mins twice a week two as I know that does help with stress and endorphin production.  

 

Dizziness/disbalance in conjunction with DR/DP.  I feel like this is a combination symptom for me.  It is all intertwined and makes it even harder to pin point what is what.  I pretty much still feel dizzy constantly (worst with stress and little rest) and this detachment feeling from surrounding and relatedness.  I do hope it will get better eventually.  I feel like it also contributes greatly to my anxiety and overall not participating in life as it is quite uncomfortable.  I question if this could be anxiety and if it is I am continuing to do all the good stuff that should help with general anxiety - yoga, exercise, good eating, meditation before bed, relaxing.  I am also implementing some dietary changes.  I cut out dairy and try to do less meat, and now no gluten.  It seems that the general anxiety should go away if I do enough of self care I am just not sure why this dizziness symptom is so persistent.  

 

Last night as I was falling to sleep I kept thinking where I am in my recovery and healing and I kept thinking how last year I felt like I was in this hole trying to crawl out and now I feel like I stand on the edge yet I still can fall all the way to the bottom anytime.  I am still scared and feel pretty traumatized by the WD experience, but I do see the light somewhere far or maybe closer than I think.  I hope things will continue to improve I just need enough determination to stay positive and continue in the right direction.  It gets lonely for sure,  I feel like I became a different person because of this experience.  Will I learn how to relate to people and be the person I was meant to be?   

 

Hope everyone is doing well 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi Blondie, sorry I haven't kept up with how you are doing

 

so sorry too, about your panic attack, that sucks!

Good for you, for not hiding and getting thru it!!

 

how are you feeling now?

 

I hope that the light is very close for you, that you will 'see the sun' as they say here, very very soon!
It seems like you have come a very long way and that you're kinda overdue!! ;)

 

Oh I hear you on feeling like a different person! I almost don't recognize myself any more!

my oldest friends are amazed and pleased with the changes, my newer friends don't know me from before so have nothing to compare to, thankfully.

 

I do still have a core of myself left, and I've got mixed feelings about that LOL I have some of the same old issues that probably led me to go on the drugs in the first place, like not being able to get someone else's opinions out of my head and thinking they are more valid than my own, stuff like that.

I got a new book that seems to be like cognitive behavioral stuff but not exactly... it's called The Emotional Toolkit

 

I'm working my way thru it. Some of the stuff seems so simple but when I go to put it into practice, it's tough. I guess I will need to work on it and eventually it will get easier.

 

nothing about this journey has been easy, though, eh?? it's the toughest challenge I've ever encountered as I'm sure it's been for many of us.

I pray that I never have to deal with anything this hard again, but- if i do- I know that I can get thru it. At least I've got that now!
I didn't have that before.
I thought I was weak and defective and unable to change.

 

boy was I wrong!!

I too sometimes feel scared and traumatized by wd/recovery but those feelings are fading.

I think you're well on your way to getting to that point as well. From the success stories I've read, this is something we all deal with as we recover, those fears. 


I'm trying to deal with my fears by realizing what it was that I lost in this process (while still honoring what I gained) I think that grief, real grieving, is healing.  when I cry about something I lost, or just cry about  how hard it all was, and how alone I felt, I always feel better afterward. 


I have gotten most of my feelings back and while there are some I'd be perfectly happy never to feel again, they come with the package I guess LOL so I will try to welcome the uncomfortable feelings knowing that without them, I'd have no joy or contentment, no feelings of accomplishment or pride, no peaceful feelings and no excitement.

 

I think the hardest thing to deal with is uncertainty. It's been there all along, I'm  just more aware of it now.

How do you deal with the "not knowing"??

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Hi H2H! Thank you for stopping by and saying hello :) I appreciate it.  I am so happy to hear about your progress and recovery.  I always thought you were so strong specially in the midst of the crisis, yet you manage to emerge stronger than ever.  And yes, I am overdo for a window or any small glimpse of normalcy, I do hope this is still possible.  

 

I am doing okay.  I had a family member scare on Friday night and spent 7 hours in the emergency.  I think it was too much for me, the ER was so crowded with people wearing masks some lady screaming in pain it was just not pretty and I wanted to get out and go home.  That experience sent me into more exhaustion.  I slept all day Saturday and pretty much half the day yesterday.  I am glad I have today off from work for the holiday, extra day is definitely helpful.  I managed to get out and get some fresh air while walking my dog.  I have not exercised in the past 3 days so today I am hoping to do some light yoga and meditation.  

 

I guess my body still needs time and rest to feel less exhausted.  Little stressful things send me into more exhaustion and my anxiety adds up to that as well.  It is like a vicious circle.  I am hopeful though that it will improve and with spring coming it should be a bit easier.  I wish I knew exactly what to do or had some sort of a map.  I found another naturopath and I am thinking of going to see her.  I am not sure if she can help.  A part of me thinks that I pretty much had all possible tests done and take the supplements I should be taking, so what else can she offer?  I feel like there are no doctors or specialists that are trained in WD and long term SSRI dependency and brain alteration.  

 

I was also wondering (maybe a moderator can help me decide) about my WD strategy.  I am currently on Luvox (22 mg) and Nortryptoline (10 mg).  My plan was to WD from Luvox completely and then start Nortryptoline taper.  I was wondering if I can also taper Nortryptoline at the same time?  I started Nortryptoline in June 2017 and not seeing much of a benefit.  I do experience heart palpitations at night though and this started when I introduced Nortryptoline.  

 

xox, b

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Blondiee.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are still in the same "treading water" stage that you have been.  I'm in the water next to you paddling away trying to keep my head up so you should know you aren't alone.  The "feeling like stress kicks your butt" sensation is also very familiar.  If the resting on the weekends to recuperate didn't go with a sense of guilt surrounding family (something that is on me and me alone and I need to address) it would be a lot easier.  But it is what it is and we need to continue to accept and move forward.  You are doing great even if it doesn't feel like it at times.

 

32 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I was also wondering (maybe a moderator can help me decide) about my WD strategy.  I am currently on Luvox (22 mg) and Nortryptoline (10 mg).  My plan was to WD from Luvox completely and then start Nortryptoline taper.  I was wondering if I can also taper Nortryptoline at the same time?  I started Nortryptoline in June 2017 and not seeing much of a benefit.  I do experience heart palpitations at night though and this started when I introduced Nortryptoline.  

 

We are big proponents of one med at a time when it comes to the tapering.  It is easy to get confused as to what is causing what when you do more than one at a time. Having said that, there have been several stories of successful tapers of several drugs at once.  For instructive information on the subject, read Rhiannon's thread.  I believe she simultaneously tapered 4 meds at the same time in micro-reductions.  Good info regardless of how you decide to proceed.

 

At the end of the day, as we always say, the decision is in your hands.  We don't advocate it but we understand why people elect that approach.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment

Hi Andy, 

 

Thank you so much for you input and support.  You put it perfect "stress kicks butt", this is how I feel completely.  Any stress I experience my body just gets hit like it was a major event, it is like I have no stress resistance left in my body.  It is comforting to know I am not the only paddler I just hope all us paddlers will get a break soon.  I also feel guilty when I rest on the weekends, I was in bed until 2 pm yesterday and was getting lots of concerning looks and what is wrong questions.  

 

I think for now I am going to hold off on tapering nortryptoline until end of spring and figure out then what the best approach is.  I honestly cannot wait to get off all these meds completely, but cannot rush it for sure. 

 

Hope you are doing well and are managing 

 

B.  

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hi Blondiee:

 

I went to the dr Saturday and he took my blood pressure. He said it was 90/70. I had an EKG about a year ago and it was perfect. He listened to me heart and didn't say anything so it must have been ok.

 

I was reading about low blood pressure and your name was there. Do you still have low blood pressure? What do you do for it?

 

Mine has always been in the 110's/60-70's, so I got kinda freaked out! 

 

Thanks for answering me. I really appreciate it.

 

Hope you are feeling well (or at least a little better).

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Hi Frogie, 

 

Good to hear from you, hope you are doing well 

 

For low blood pressure you should drink more water and also can increase your salt intake.  I also heard dark chocolate can help.  Mine is constantly 90/60 sometimes even lower.  Those the only things I have heard of and tried.  

 

 

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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