oh wow thank you everyone for all the responses. means alot <3
ChessieCat - I will check out those links. I think it is a combination of the 3 - agoraphobia, DP/DR, and sensitivity to light/sound. I was reading online how the best thing to do for derealization is to meditate and do yoga and with time it should pass. It is comforting to know it is not dangerous and not harmful in any way.
LexAnger - I am sorry you are dealing with this as well. You are right it is horrible. I sure hope it will pass soon for both of us.
Hi Alice1 - I am doing okay. A bit worse for the past few days, but hanging in there. Pretty bad fatigue, dizziness, and now this weird realization/agoraphobia constant feeling which is overwhelming and scary at times. I do think it is triggered by stress so I am going to work on some stress reduction. I will stop by your thread to see you are.
Julz82 - Happy Easter to you too! You described my symptoms exactly. The over stimulation, things being too bright or weird and the fatigue def makes it worse. You are right knowing it is not harmful is helpful. I think when those feelings increased for me I immediately assumed I am getting worse and this is a sign of not healing but of "there is something wrong with me". I remember in one of the therapy session I was given advice to focus attention on something present and try to be in the moment. I guess more of get our of your head kind of thing. So if there is a painting in the room focus on that instead go in your head with what is wrong with me. Oye really hope this will get better. So glad you stopped by Hopefully you are doing okay
Catnapt - thank you so much for such a thoughtful insight. I actually thought that by feeling these things it means I am not improving but going into the rabbit hole. It did not even appear to me that by feeling these things my brain is actually working and figuring out how to function without the meds. This is much better and gives me more strength and acceptance and peace of mind. You are describing exactly what I feel. Like walking to the park and the trees are big and wow so green and it is overwhelming. But it does make sense though. I was on lexapro 20 mg for a steady few years and I was numb. I did not really cry and I did not really laugh. Just on auto pilot. I remember talking with friends and trying to laugh as hard as they are on some jokes or stories but it was so unnatural. Everything was faded and just there. Few nights ago I was talking to my dad and he told me a joke and I was laughing so hard. I almost cried because it felt so good to just laugh and not to force it. It felt amazing. Sorry I am all over the place.
I did not read that thread and I will for sure. I love the way you write Catnapt. Oh and I am going to look up those body scanning meditations. Thank you so much for caring <3
ShakeyJerr - you will be okay! It is just anxiety. What helped me with those situations which I learnt in CBT was to think of it in a logical way/doing this CBT exercise. I have to find this CBT worksheet paper and share it on here maybe it will be helpful for someone. Basically you start with a fear statement such as "I am afraid I will pass out while driving" and then you say ok what are the chances of this happening? and you list bullet points such as I feel anxious and breathless and my heart beats and I feel like I will faint. On the other side you list the reasons why it will not happen such as "I felt like this before a million times and it never happened", another point "I had a physical done and there is nothing physically wrong with me" and another bullet point" noone ever fainted from a panic attack" and so on. So you look at both of these possibilities of happening of this fearful event and not and realize that the there will be more bulled points on the "this will not happen" list. Also, the reasons for a fearful event happening or not need to be logical/rational. The final step of the exercise is to imagine the event actually happening. You imagine it and then list how you will cope. For instance. You will pass out while driving. But then the cars will stop and someone will dial 911. You will get the help from the ambulance and you will be okay. The more of these exercises you do the more you train your brain to thing differently. Anxiety is fear of the future event so when we get to the point of omg I cannot let this happen we do not think about it happening we are going into fear mode and do whatever we can to prevent it from happening. But when you accept and imagine it is happening the fear kind of fades. Not sure if this is helpful but thought I'd mention. And I hope it makes sense as I am a bit out of it