Posted 01 December 2016 - 11:09 AM
Like you, my family history is filled with various mental illness diagnoses, and for a long time I bought the lie that the "biological" and "genetic" nature of these illnesses meant that I had to swallow poison for the rest of my life. Then one day I discovered that there was absolutely no scientific basis for this story we've been told so I started my journey of tapering off 3 different medications. It's been hard, but along the way, I have picked up some great skills that I'm sure will make these drugs totally unnecessary after withdrawal.
You said that others think you are better on the drugs than off. I have to wonder if it's because YOU are better or is it because THEY have an easier time dealing with you. If it's the latter, I would say that's their problem. If it is the former, just know that there are a plethora of ways to deal with overwhelming emotions. Drugs are NOT necessary, but hard work usually is.
Rest assured, you can come off these poisons and have a wonderful drug-free life. Your biology and genetics have not doomed you to a life of pills as some would have you believe. Just be patient, take it slow and listen to the advice of Scallywag and the others moderators. We're all rooting for you.
Peace, love and healing.
PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro
Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.
Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg
Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013 750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.
Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.
Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.
"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim!" -Dory