yyeehhaaww: How do I keep going ?

[Shep]

yyeehhaaww, I'm sorry for all you're going through with your family and home life.

 

But as your wrote in an earlier post, you have a home, food, money in the bank, and from what I've read so far, you're dealing with withdrawal compounded by the fact that your daughter is estranged and no one in your family understands. 

 

This is so common for so many of us. We have an illness that is blamed on us. Drug withdrawal alone leaves us feeling unable to handle any form of stress and completely isolated.

 

My advice is to find ways of self soothing. Many of us never learned this as children, but we can learn this as adults. It's really important that you spend some time learning some self soothing skills. Once you've learned to take care of yourself, you'll be able to reach out more to your family, and they will be more likely to respond. 

 

You've survived an enormous amount of drug induced trauma, so now it's time to nurture and protect your very raw and sensitive CNS.

 

Some ideas:

 

Non-drug Techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Neuro Emotions

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

I know being isolated, having severe GI problems, and all of the other symptoms can take their toll, but for now, for the next 5 minutes, read about mindfulness in that first link.

 

Read about neuro emotions in the second link.

 

And if these don't help, that last link, change the channel, will give you ideas of what to do next.

 

We can't fill up the void of your daughter not being here for the holidays or of other family members not understanding, but you have a home, you have good food to eat. And you're safe.

 

These are the things that can fill the void until other life-repairs can be made once you're feeling better.

 

This pain is temporarily. Please use your time wisely. If none of these coping skills are working, learn to distract. Here is one of my favorite online puzzle websites:

 

http://www.jigsawplanet.com/

 

I like to play guided meditations in the background while I work a puzzle or play a game of sudoku. Letting your CNS be surrounded by things that are "calming" is the best way to heal. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. 

 

[yyeehhaaww]

thank you shep for your amazing kindness to me   cannot tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to respond as am so isolated and alone.  welcome the input and suggestions and compassion.  Not functioning at all.

 

Have been ignoring a pain that is in the space between my left breast (above it) and arm (it is swollen) and arm for over a week or two???.  My mom and sister breast cancer.  Does anybody have any ideas what that is?  lymph nodes... too weary and scared to search.

 

The change the channel overwhelms me... and I beg y'all to forgive this rant... cuddle children that very word and how mine is gone out of my life. pain..cannot cuddle husband he is still mad at me,  call a friend.... wished I had one... they are all gone.... not even sure really had one... simple taking a walk.... hip pain so cannot do even a simple walk on street ... look at trees, flowers... stupidly cannot because of light sensitivity ... sun........crazy have put sheets over curtains to block out excruciating bright light.......gardening not able to do as no strength barely can go to kitch and bathroom... not even brushing teeth...go to store... cannot take stress of crowds, lights=== light hypersensitivty === noise of people and music sound hypersensitivty... wished I could read or even watch TV... husband tried earlier today and I could not take any of it... too much talking... too much music noise...UGH...  already do deep breathing but tired of even that... going to try to take a bath... do not do that but once a week or more days ....try to distract with computer but even that is a lot.... so messed up... do not know how to keep going on with all the pain .  sorry y'all... I know everyone is struggling.  I do not not know how to keep going  

[ChessieCat]

"Have been ignoring a pain that is in the space between my left breast (above it) and arm (it is swollen) and arm for over a week or two???.  My mom and sister breast cancer.  Does anybody have any ideas what that is?  lymph nodes... too weary and scared to search."

 

Because there is a history of breast cancer in your family I think the first thing you should do is get this checked by a doctor.  At the moment you are worrying about it.  Don't waste time and energy googling.  It will only add to the stress.

[yyeehhaaww]

please help me find what kind of probiotic alto used... saw it in one of her posts but cannot find it today

[doggiemama]

Hi how my heart breaks for you. This is a illness that very few people understand least of all close family. Because we can have 10 emotions in 1 day and we find it hard to handle so imagine how hard its for them.Family can cause even more stress because you feel you need to put on a front when you can't even worry about food cleaning and everyday life.Don't put yourself down we all have something beautiful in and about us when we in a wave nothing anyone says can change how we feel about ourselves is a horrific I just wanted to tell you it does get better.I still get bad waves and feel it will never end then the sun comes out and I feel I can beat this. Stay strong we can do this

[Shep]

please help me find what kind of probiotic alto used... saw it in one of her posts but cannot find it today

 

Hi, yyeehhaaww.

 

This is the probiotic thread:

 

Probiotics 

 

I'm not sure exactly which one Alto used, but it may be in one of her posts in this thread. 

[yyeehhaaww]

Doggiemama, thank you, thank you.  Just seeing words and that someone cares helps me.  

 

Shep, again thanks you are wo wonderful.

[Happy2Heal]

hi yyeehhaaww,

I've been following your journey in recovery a little bit, and just wanted to stop by and tell you how much I admire your courage and your strength

 

you may not see it now, but you are really doing well for all the stress and symptoms you have.

 

please be kind to yourself as your brain continues to do what it needs to heal from the drugs

 

be assured that it IS  healing, even though it doesn't much feel like it.

[yyeehhaaww]

oh, cat;;; I am crying after reading what you wrote me.  I so needed to some words of compassion and encouragement.  I was going to post and ask for some positive words as I am so messed up and so very overwhelmed.  crying more now.  I cannot thank you enough for taking the time and posting. You met my need when i so very much needed it.  May the Lord richly bless you today for reaching out to me.  I hope you have a WONDERFUL day.

 

I am struggling so bad.. my sister found it... trileptal side effect -- causes abdominal pain don't know how I missed it.  everyone thinks i am imagining it have had it since August... started trileptal in July..  that along with breast/arm under arm pain which is BAD, diarrhea which wears me out, and today nausea.  can barely eat.  trileptal, like benzos is a brake == read what alto posted about brakes and accelerators.  so after I stupidly cut 50% of 900mg on 11/10 and 11/15 and down to 450mg HOLDING... sleep is deteriorating.  Used to sleep 3 to 4 hours when it finally returned  and then eventually could sleep 2 more hours after last xanax taken 9/30.  Now back to 3 hours in last days. ... when woke up... debilitating anxiety just trying to rest and not even thinking....no thoughts causing it... just overtaking overpowering.... i could barely deep breathe.... prayer got me through... lasted for 8 hours.. eased up a little.  I do not know how I am going to get through this.  I just said a quick prayer for all who are suffering to be strengthened.  For those are not suffering.. continued healing  as you encourage many of us.  I so very much need it as I do not think I will ever heal.  I have lost hope.  it seems each day I look back and am worse.  So very sorry for this negative downer post.

[yyeehhaaww]

please forgive me for being so negative and needy.  today is my estranged daughter 17 months birthday.  I cannot even go there so must keep it pushed down and repressed.  I had wanted to get a card but could not deal with picking one out.  

 

 Have so much to deal with besides physical pain insomnia sleep deprivation anxiety and withdrawal symptoms THEN  childhood trauma and baggage.  I do not know how to make any friends anywhere.   i do wrong  unlikeable and how to make them.   

[yyeehhaaww]

does anybody know of anybody to help withdrawals = in dallas 

[Happy2Heal]

please forgive me for being so negative and needy.  today is my estranged daughter 17 months birthday.  I cannot even go there so must keep it pushed down and repressed.  I had wanted to get a card but could not deal with picking one out.  

 

 Have so much to deal with besides physical pain insomnia sleep deprivation anxiety and withdrawal symptoms THEN  childhood trauma and baggage.  I do not know how to make any friends anywhere.   i do wrong  unlikeable and how to make them.   

 

 

oh hon, you are NOT being needy nor negative!!  You are going thru a very difficult time and it's perfectly understandable to be upset by all the symptoms, plus all the life issues, as well.

 

You have NOTHING to apologize for!!

 

I am sorry you are not able to see or contact your daughter, that must be so hard. Hopefully when you are well and recovered, you can work something out with her, somehow.... but for now, it might be best to just accept that she needs time and so do you. YOu need time to take care of yourself and to heal.

that is number ONE on the list of things for you to do.

 

that is a big job all by itself.

 

what did you do for yourself today? be esp kind and good to yourself thru these difficult days

 

 

you are quite likable and I'm sure that when you don't have so much on your plate, you will be have the time and energy to make friends.

it's a hard thing to do while you're not feeling well, but you can try reaching out to people and let them in a bit, and see how it goes

 

((((hugs))))

[yyeehhaaww]

Big HUG to you Cat..... You ROCK.   Thanks again for your words......

[yyeehhaaww]

Could not sleep so stayed up till 4... BIG MISTAKE.  I should have gone to bed.  I learned that even if you do not sleep your body is still resting and probably is 30 to 40% of sleep.  Must do sleep hygiene and go to bed at same time every night even if do not sleep.

 

Managed to get through daughter's BD, but writing that causes pain.  Have to shut it down as cannot go there.

[doggiemama]

Hi YHW sorry you going though this its so hard not being in contact with a child . I have a middle child that also didn't talk to me for years but he is a drug addict and blames me for it which I know is not the case but that is what he thought we are friends now but he still does not contact me for weeks and then pops up and talks everyday then again don't talk so I've got used to it. It doesn't make it better but I have accepted it. My mom said years ago (my child remember he will need you before you need him so given time he will contact you) so my friend give it time.When we in withdrawal it makes our emotions so much worse. My sleep also went to pot when I stoped all meds but has got better. I now get into bed at about 9 and sleep till 4 am ,would love to sleep a bit later but I will take what I can get. Anxiety is for me the very worst symptom. What helps me as soon as it starts I rebuke satin and plead he blood of JESUS over my body and life and it helps me . I don't think I ave ever prayed so much in my life as these last 2 years and I believe it has carried me though.reading your post gives me the feeling you are also a believer so hang on to that for comfort. GOD BLESS

[yyeehhaaww]

What helps me as soon as it starts I rebuke satin and plead he blood of JESUS over my body and life and it helps me . I don't think I ave ever prayed so much in my life as these last 2 years and I believe it has carried me though.reading your post gives me the feeling you are also a believer so hang on to that for comfort. GOD BLESS

 

Oh, Doggie, my sister in our Lord.... so identify with your words.  I also pray for Satan to leave me alone almost every in Jesus shed blood.  I also have been at this for the last 2 years.  The worst 2 years of my life.  Losing all contact is by far worse than all the polydrug withdrawal madness hell.  May the Lord richly bless you today and meet all your needs.

 

Ephesians 6:12Amplified Bible (AMP)

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places.

[yyeehhaaww]

need advice on how long to hold on trileptal

[scallywag]

Your symptoms are your best guide about when to make a reduction.

 

If you have had

• no symptoms since your last reduction, 4 weeks is a decent hold until you have a good understanding of how your body reacts to dose reductions,
   
• symptoms that have been tolerable and stable since your last reduction, a 4-week hold is reasonable
   
• moderate to severe symptoms after your last reduction AND they have diminished to the point of being tolerable and stable, make a dose reduction no sooner than 2 weeks after the symptoms became tolerable and stable.
   
• moderate to severe symptoms after your last reduction that HAVE NOT DIMINISHED to the point of being tolerable, continue to hold and observe your symptoms.

[yyeehhaaww]

As always Scallywag, thank you.  You're wonderful.

[yyeehhaaww]

PLEASE HELP.

 

 just got back from pcp... he will do nothing not even prescribe psych drugs for me... I am too complex and he thinks I need to be on them.  only on trileptal.

 

 pdoc does not want me to stop lithium which I have... trileptal NOPE have to stay on it ... asked her in October.  Am scared I will not be able to get any more and will have to make do with what I have even though holding.  Last filled trileptal on 11/8 has no refills  but it is not eligible to be refilled until next week.  will ask cvs to contact her BUT WHAT DO I DO IF SHE DOES NOT CALL IN REFILL????? HELP... I know I will not be able to see her for a month at least too booked.  Then what do I do IF I do see her?  LIE and not tell her I have reduced it down to 450 mg.  

 

I AM IN PANIC OVER THIS  and my swollen lymph nodes pain ... having a mamogram tomorrow.  I was barely functioning any way and now this.  PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.  WHAT do I do?  where do I go... he said I might have to find a new pdoc.. there are none in dallas who will help me taper.  

also IF there were they would not be on my insurance.  What will I do?  a fast taper/withdraw????  I am not even stable yet.  will I just cut it by a whole pill (300 mg) so am only on 150 mg... PLEASE HELP ME.

[yyeehhaaww]

is it OK to alleve or advil for pain?

[yyeehhaaww]

dr told me to take alleve or advil for underarm/breast pain.  AM SCARED and worried.... which one or will they cause me more problems than the pain.  PLEASE ANYONE HELP ME.  i am hurting and don't know what to do?

[Mort81]

Hey I can take Tylenol or Advil for WD headache pain. Both haven't harmed me at all. Tylenol has worked Better for me

[Shep]

yyeehhaww, please use the Search box and you can find a lot of this kind of information. 

 

Also, if you go to Google and place "surviving antidepressants" and "advil" you can find a lot of information that way.

 

Here is the thread on pain relievers:

 

Painkillers in withdrawal: Aspirin, ibuprofen, paracetamol, acetaminophen, naproxen, codeine

 

Please try to calm down and breathe. Constantly going into panic mode can cause pain, too, so please try this exercise:

 

How to Perform the 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise

 

These types of exercises take time and practice, but it's well worth the effort.

 

This is another version. Sometimes I like a more lighthearted cartoon version:

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen

 

I hope this helps. 

[yyeehhaaww]

PLEASE HELP

 

What do I do ... how do I get trileptal?  how do I find a dr who will give it to me?

[yyeehhaaww]

thank you shep.... what do i do to get trileptal

[ChessieCat]

These topics might help you with talking to medical professionals:

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

GPs (in Australia we call them general practitioners/family doctors) are able to write prescriptions so you do not need to get this from a psychiatrist.  You are getting your mammogram and I assume that you will be going back to your GP to discuss the results of it.  You could ask for a prescription then.  Some members here haven't told their doctors that they are tapering the drug but just go in and request what they want.  The topics above may help you with the best way to make this request.

[yyeehhaaww]

PLEASE HELP.

 

 just got back from pcp... he will do nothing not even prescribe psych drugs for me... I am too complex and he thinks I need to be on them.  only on trileptal.

 

 

 

My pcp yesterday said I am too complex and need to be on psych drugs...will do nothing for any psych drugs for me....it seems like he may do for others but not me...he also does not think I am in withdrawal....does not think there are withdrawal symptoms from me cutting trileptal ... it is not addictive.... tried to discuss cns.... he did not agree.

 

My pdoc did not want me to get off of lithium even though only on 300 mg nor trileptal... this was in October.  She helped me get off the 5 off label drugs to help me sleep including xanax.... AND Belsomra although I was able to stop it pretty much myself.  She feels I am bipolar and will need to be medicated like my pcp for the rest of my life.  Lithium did not help or prevent or stop depression... neither has trileptal.  

 

So do I just go in and ask her about getting off trileptal and if she still insists I be on it... just get the script for trileptal and leave and not tell her that I have already cut it 50%?

[yyeehhaaww]

how do y'all get your meds?

[Altostrata]

 

PLEASE HELP.

 

 just got back from pcp... he will do nothing not even prescribe psych drugs for me... I am too complex and he thinks I need to be on them.  only on trileptal.

 

 

 

My pcp yesterday said I am too complex and need to be on psych drugs...will do nothing for any psych drugs for me....it seems like he may do for others but not me...he also does not think I am in withdrawal....does not think there are withdrawal symptoms from me cutting trileptal ... it is not addictive.... tried to discuss cns.... he did not agree.

 

My pdoc did not want me to get off of lithium even though only on 300 mg nor trileptal... this was in October.  She helped me get off the 5 off label drugs to help me sleep including xanax.... AND Belsomra although I was able to stop it pretty much myself.  She feels I am bipolar and will need to be medicated like my pcp for the rest of my life.  Lithium did not help or prevent or stop depression... neither has trileptal.  

 

So do I just go in and ask her about getting off trileptal and if she still insists I be on it... just get the script for trileptal and leave and not tell her that I have already cut it 50%?

 

 

You need a new PCP, someone who will cooperate with your desire to minimize psychiatric drugs.

 

PCPs are not qualified to diagnose bipolar disorder or any psychiatric disorder, really.

 

Any doctor can prescribe these drugs, it doesn't have to be a PCP or psychiatrist.

[yyeehhaaww]

Thank you as always Alto.  YOU are absolutely correct.   I do need a new dr.

 

They continue to botch stuff up.  My mammogram appointment that was made yesterday for today at 8:30 when I arrived for it, I learned it had been cancelled by his office yesterday??????? I went to see this dr. yesterday and apparently they cancelled it when I was there???? they could not get the order done correctly????   Last week problem with ct scan... A month ago blood work order.  I think they are trying to get rid of me.  

 

Now with his totally negative attitude about my psych med request.  Nope.  I am too complex were his exact words.  I have seen this dr for over 11 years and I pointed out and reminded me that I had never been like I had been in last 2 years and printed out all the meds I had been on during those 2 years.  He sees me as a very sick psych patient who needs to be medicated for the rest of my life.  I am rising up and will fight HIM ALSO.

[yyeehhaaww]

had a mammogram and then a sonogram because they found 2 areas of concern.  Had a biopsy today.  

 

I feel like I will never be well after coming off all these psych drugs and still have trileptal to do.... everything in my life is on hold now.... I see very little hope or future of getting well.  Sleep is still bad.... please someone tell me anything to help me.  PLEASE.... 

[yyeehhaaww]

PLEASE anyone help me ... very discouraged will never get well....  Have gotten worse

????????????????????????????????????????

 

ANYONE...

 

 I am terrified of being like this the rest of my life....

[Shep]

When will you get the results of your biopsy, yyeehhaww? 

 

You have been on quite a number of drugs and are now down to just one, so you're doing a lot better than you give yourself credit for.

 

Try to distract as much as possible. Waiting for the results of a biopsy is extremely stressful, so do what you can to self soothe. 

 

It won't always be this bad. It does get better. Sending healing vibes your way. 

[yyeehhaaww]

I got the results late Friday 

 

I have breast cancer

 

do not know how I will get through chemo or surgery or whatever 

 

what drugs will further kill me and my body and brain and cns.

 

I have no fight left in me to go through cancer... no reason to live ... I have been through so much pain and suffering for so long and cannot go through even more... no daughter, no friends.... just existing and now this

[Shep]

I'm so sorry to read this, yyeehhaaww. Do you know what your treatment options are? 

 

Are there any cancer support groups near you where you can get some on-the-ground support? Unlike withdrawal, people do understand cancer, and there are many support systems in place. My father belonged to one, and I've had several friends who fought cancer and belonged to support groups and found them helpful. 

 

Please take it a day at a time, a minute at a time, if necessary. The fact that you are down to one drug is to your benefit, as a lot of drug problems are actually interactions, so you've done an amazing job already of reducing your drug burden by quite a bit. You are definitely a survivor and you do have a lot to live for. A lot of what we have to live for as psychiatric drug survivors are things we've yet to do, so don't give up hope yet. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. I wish there was more we could do, but I do urge you to reach out for support on the ground and not to isolate.