Been quietly observing and reading other peoples posts and finally decided to post my story.
My path with AD started with a full blown panic attack.
I had never in my life experienced a panic attack so it was very difficult at the beginning. Everybody's different.
My panic attacks were debilitating lasting for several hours.
Went to see my doctor and was quickly put on benzos.
Started with xanax 0.5 mg and was quickly raised to 2.0 mg. Later it was switched out to klonopin 2.0 mg.
It did control my panic attacks and my anxiety attacks.
Later on I was told to add an AD to further control my panic attacks.
This was the fun part where I became my own guinea pig where I had to "FIND THE RIGHT MED" for myself.
Initially started with lexapro and was told that it could take up to 4 months for the drug to kick in.
4 months past by and it did nothing. lexapro had no effect on me.
Tried viibryd, celexa, paxil, and prozac.
Settled with paxil and klonopin for a long time.
Towards the end made the jump to cymbalta and klonopin.
If it wasn't for people around me telling me how I've changed, over the time frame that I was on these drugs,
I would have probably continued taking these drugs.
I've lost all emotions nothing in the world gave me any enjoyment. Started drinking heavily to the point where
I was drinking every day. Spent money like money grew on trees. I had no apathy at all towards others.
I became completely indifferent towards the entire world.
I have so much respect towards people here that are maintaining their strict taper schedule.
I tried to slowly taper from my drugs but I could never keep it myself. At the first sign of withdrawal I kept running
back to my drugs. I decided to throw all my meds out and go the cold turkey route. I fell into a dark abyss.
I didn't bother going to no doctor because I knew it was my fight and my fight alone.
Woke up with severe panic and dread. It was as if all my nerves were fired up. Every person was associated with
a flash back from the past with a very negative flash back from my past. For example, my dad was asking me how
I felt and I had a really bizarre flash back from the past where my dad was not so kind to me when I was a kid.
It was a memory from the past that I had forgotten for a very long time. This flash back resulted in me with a rage
like emotion towards him. Pretty much everyone I met, that had an unkind past with me, brought up these negative
Entire body feels numb. Light/noise sensitivity. Blurry vision as if I'm surrounded by fog.
All my muscles were sore, aching and shaking. Tingling burning sensation on the skin. Itchy anus.
Joint pain like I've never experienced before. Difficulty breathing. Flu like symptoms.
Severe headaches. Head felt really heavy as if there was a rock embedded in my brain.
Messed up sinus. Weak legs. Weak neck. Difficulty speaking. Difficulty balancing myself.
Coordination skills severely impaired. Severe tinnitus. Body feels heavy as if gravity increased.
One day I spilled my entire plate while eating and I could see my plate fall down in slow motion in 3-D.
One day I was cooking and accidentally burnt my hand and I could feel the pain from my hand travel all the way to
I'm pretty sure there were a lot more symptoms that I really can't remember them all.
It's been six months now that I've gone cold turkey.
I'm still a long ways from recovery but looking back sure as hell feels like I've made some progress.
Going cold turkey put my body in full reboot mode and slowly one by one I get to feel parts of my body come alive
one by one.