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WhySSRI: Relearning my body and mind

duloxetine Cymbalta clonazepam Klonopin cold-turkey

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#73 WhySSRI

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Posted 13 April 2017 - 10:59 AM

Hibari, 

 

Thank you for your support.  Means a lot in these testing times.  Hope you're doing well.

 

Lex,

 

Thanks Lex.  Your words means a lot.  How are you managing in your wave?


2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg
2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg
2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
Mar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
July 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds
 

- BE HERE NOW -

 

My Intro


#74 WhySSRI

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Posted 13 April 2017 - 11:07 AM

My symptoms have morphed again.  Ever since the late night panic attack, I've been struck with constant anxiety.  By reading past threads I knew that my anxiety would return but I wasn't expecting it to be this intense.  This anxiety accompanied by really loud tinnitus is my cross to bear at the moment.  I find myself pacing around my house like a mad person.  Oh Lord please give me the strength to make it out of this.


2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg
2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg
2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
Mar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
July 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds
 

- BE HERE NOW -

 

My Intro


#75 LexAnger

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 04:30 PM

How are you WHY?
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#76 WhySSRI

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Posted 19 April 2017 - 10:41 AM

Hey Lex,

 

Thanks for checking up on me.  Anxiety is at bay now.  These days my symptoms morph around hour by hour.  My tinnitus has been staying really loud.  No major improvements to report.  Still taking things day by day well I guess hour by hour now.  How are you doing Lex?


2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg
2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg
2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
Mar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
July 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds
 

- BE HERE NOW -

 

My Intro


#77 LexAnger

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Posted 19 April 2017 - 04:49 PM

That's a relief WHY that the anxiety calmed down. It sounded pretty tough. The change can be a good sign for healing and improving.  

 

I am going day by day and some days also hour by hour. Many days I think of you when I need to be reminded for needed endurance and patience. I am in the toughest time since got down to 0.06 mg about 2.5 months ago--paralyzed brain and body and severe needling pain, confused head and total hangover feeling.  I somehow visualize myself in the similar situation to yours from cold turkey. Thought about updose but too scared so most probably will continue holding.


<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#78 WhySSRI

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 02:16 PM

Insatiable hunger is killing me right now.  I've just now realized how much weight I've put on.  I really need to watch how much I eat.  I've been able to put a bit more strength when I walk.  Walking on the treadmill at 1.3 mph speed feels like I'm going to pass out.  But no matter how hard it is I'm pushing myself to walk.  My legs are still very weak and wobbly but the only form of exercise I can do right now is to walk.  I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror.  I'd make a pretty decent zombie in a walking dead episode.  Diet and exercise is my main focus now.  Need to get my face back to normal.

 

I've given up trying to explain what I'm going through to people around me.  No one around me understands what I'm going through.  I'm done trying to get some sort of human compassion out from others.  I don't have any friends left anymore and I can feel the strain on my family too. This is a lonely form of existence and I have to go at it alone and make it out alone.  But deep down I don't really know how to handle the longing for some sort of human companionship.  


2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg
2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg
2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
Mar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mg
July 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds
 

- BE HERE NOW -

 

My Intro


#79 LexAnger

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 03:01 PM

WHY, I know how you feel. We all feel pretty much the same in terms of the lonely war we are fighting! I do have friends understanding and being supportive listening to my agony, but deep down I know I'm the one and only to go through all the suffering minute by minute. I can't look at mirror either especially when the severe akathesia all over me like millions bugs and needling poking into my brain, head and whole body.

I hope you find a way to control your diet. Little walking is a good start. I found for long time since I got very sick in this process, I can only walk on the machine. It's very helpful especially I do it together with others in gym, a dark cinema room. I feel it must be the meditating effect.

Do you meditate? I never did until recently, but found it very effective in lessening some symptoms.

You are in my thought! I know you can do it as long as you believe it yourself. And you are not alone in this war, I always have an ear for your pain.

Hugs,
Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18





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