Waiting12

Waiting12: Needing advice!

183 posts in this topic

Thanks PB and flowers for the encouragement. I hope you both are seeing positive improvements.

 

I apologize in advance for being rather gloomy on this post but I am in need of a pep talk. I hit a fairly large setback about 10 days ago. I think it was caused by trying to do too much too soon. (4th of July, long boat rides, traveling etc)

 

I am 7 months out now. Could relief be just around the corner? Could this setback with old symptoms worsening be the last bad one or boost me into better healing? I am feeling so stuck! I have been seeing maybe 5-10% improvements each month with a worsening during my pms cycle, but this setback wasn't cycle related so it's out of the wd norm for me. 

 

Before this setback I would've thought I was about 50% better on a good day, now not so much. Insomnia is back along with intrusive thinking, restless feelings, & other bizzare mental & cognitive stuff. The constant chemical anxiety feeling is well.... constant. Blunted zombie emotions and man am I tired. 

 

I never had any of these symptoms before until 3 hours after trying to reinstate Zoloft last July. Altogether I have been sick from these meds for 17 months. 6 months of tolerable wd in early 2016 just dizziness and brain fog- but didn't know what the cause could be. Tried reinstating different meds for 5 months (this is when everything fell apart) and now 7 months of recovery. That seems like an eternity at my age when I'm watching my friends around me getting Into careers, getting married, starting families and I'm just a sitting duck. On a positive note I can say this isn't as bad as how I felt in January through march, but it's very discouraging to go backwards a bit. 

 

I get a lot of hope from a thread by a girl named lov4k9s since we have a common history. I think it took her about 14 months to feel good after her adverse reaction upon reinstating. I know I shouldn't compare stories but I'm trying to keep the hope alive. When is this darn nervous system going to settle down? I sincerely hope my next update is a good one. Maybe I'm closer than I think and just need a half time pep talk.... any coaches out there?

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never apologise for a start ,we are so tough to put up with this living hell ,I'm particularly bad myself today ,very paranoid and constant intrusive thoughts[mindfulness helps me get out of it but vicious cycle ] ,anxiety off the scale ,yesterday I put so much energy into a walking meditation video just to get some peace in my head .

don't get me started on the comparing myself to peer groups ,I wonder if I was on the moon would withdrawl be quicker .

 

I've started making my own kefir lately and I'm questioning that also if it affects me

ide recommend just giving into the tiredness when you can ,fighting everything is hard ,I personally have cut exercise down ,I just do nice walks for now .

we got to believe were are  healing all the time buts its so hard sometimes .

I often dream of being "normal" in the future and having the silly annoyances  like who left the toilet seat up or fridge door open .I promise they wont when I'm well again:D.

Take great care and wishing you peace

PB

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Hey, Waiting!

 

Setbacks happen when going through the healing process. I, too, am going through them, almost the exact same as your own. I woke up today feeling like I was going to have a panic attack for the first time in a long while. It was so scary! And this period cycle is the worst one yet! But we have to remember that this is the brain healing, this is what happens. You have made it through worse, you can make it through this. You're strong! Remember that! Try to get through your days and hang in there, it will get better for you. You've come a long way, just look at where you used to be in the beginning. Look how far you've come! Try to remember the good days when you have bad ones and remember that another day will come. Just get through this wave of hell right now and you'll see the sunshine again. Hang in there!

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