MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[Altostrata]

If you are feeling you want to do an exploratory decrease now, Maize, that's up to you. There's no rule you can't.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[maizeNblue81]

Do you think it's safe or ok knowing my symptoms and where I'm at? That's why I try to update everyone here on my symptoms and how I'm doing on a regular basis and I've been as open and honest with them as I can so what's the suggested action here?

 

I'm just trying to do this right without making it any worse than it already is.

[Altostrata]

We're back to your usual question. It's up to you to make the call. If it doesn't feel safe, don't make the change.

[maizeNblue81]

I'm sorry I'm trying so hard here and I don't know what to do? I know the head pressure numbness and physical stuff in my brain is benzo WD but I really can't tell what side effects or even when I decreased before the Zoloft is having but I know the longer I take it the more damage it's doing so I'm lost.

 

I'm trying so hard with work and everything else to be patient and try to focus on the good and that one day I will get better but this is so hard and the symptoms are still so bad I don't know what to do?

 

I'm 6 months off benzos now and that means I've been on Zoloft about as long.

 

I've made it through the first 3 weeks of a new job but it's still a struggle and a fight everyday but I'm trying I really am trying but these drugs especially xanex just did so much damage to me and I don't understand why it's still so bad cause I've officially been off now as long as I was on 6 months and still no relief.

 

Am I ever gonna heal?

[Altostrata]

If you look back on your Intro topic, you will see you've asked the same questions perhaps 2 dozen times.

 

Yes, you will heal. It will take time. Further drug adjustments are up to you. We can't foretell what will happen. 

[maizeNblue81]

Well it will just be going from 87.5 to 80mg and that way I can get it situated to where it's more accurate and prepared to taper later on down the road. Is 7.5mg gonna make that big a difference after 8 weeks this way?

[Petunia]

The only way to know if and how its going to effect you is to try it.

 

If you feel you are stable enough now, then make the decision you feel is best. We don't know what's going to happen, so we can't tell you what to do.

 

Please let us know what you decide to do.

[maizeNblue81]

I guess my question it's knowing my symptoms but not knowing what's the cause of all of them still in the early stages of my new job and taking everything into account what's the best choice here?

 

I don't want to make things worse and I want to be smart about all this cause my symptoms are still so severe but if the Zoloft is making things worse then I need to slowly ween off it but my brain can't handle much more I can't handle much more so I feel like I'm in a lose lose situation now .

[ChessieCat]

Something you might consider is doing a smaller reduction than 10%, perhaps a 5% drop.  For a 5% reduction you would remove 1 1/2 syringes or 15ml.

[peng]

I am not a doctor, but have almost 40 years experience of being on varying amounts of tranx (ativan) then ADs.  For 20 years, or so, of the period 1977-2001, despite having some time off with illness, I held down a fairly taxing scientific job, (even appearing in court from time to time as expert witness - [tough going!]), raised 3 children to adulthood with my wife, and paid off our house.  There were extremely distressing times, but I survived.

Personally, I would not reduce the dose of Zoloft (whatever it is) - in my experience you sound in such a poor state of stability you deperately need a platform to rest on.  It has to be your own choice, of course, as Altostrata and others say.

 

Also, re sinusitis, ideally, you should not have ceased the full course of the relatively mild antibiotics.  I have just had the worst 3 months of suffering from sinusitis in my life.  It took 3 courses of antibiotics, each one stronger than the previous.   Amoxycillin is the 1st one to be tried IME, but is relatively weak.  Sinus infections are deep seated, often, and with little blood supply going to them, they can be stubborn to kill.  Believe me, sinusitis is a complaint I have had since childhood and despite being against the overuse of antibs, they are mostly the only thing that can shift my infection.

 

It is easy when you are severely overwrought and stressed, to blame something like, say, an antibiotic or a food, shampoo, dry air at work, etc, etc, as the cause of a perceived worsening of your illness, which feels real enough, but often we are being tricked by our nerves into that conviction.  Many of us on here have been there several times.

 

Being a car dealership service manager is a highly stressful job here in the UK, I would say.  The last angry sounding-off I gave to someone was to a cold caller who was a man in that position.  He was trying to get me to book my car into them several months before it was due for its annual service and MOT (UK Government road-worthiness examination for cars reaching 3 or more years of age).  He represented the main dealer  of the French brand in the county, but I have had appalling work done (not done?) by them since I got the car and prefer to use a local non-franchised garage within walking distance, with whom I have been, most of the time, for the last 30 years, or so.  Really, I would hate that job.  You certainly have been through the wringer, Maize, if you have had that position as a new job - and with new colleagues and managers - in your state of health.  Well done, you!!

 

Anyway, best wishes for your coming few days and weeks, man, and remember, this is not a reprimand, only trying to give advice based on having been there. As most of us will say, hang in there, it does improve!

[Lakelander82]

Peng I think you are on the money with regard to searching for small innocuous things to blame ie food,antibiotic,shampoo etc for the worsening of the nervous condition. I read of people blaming their anxiety on eating a chocolate bar or something sweet when in all reality the chocolate bar had absolutely no impact on their condition, but the rumination after most certainly did. I find diet makes little to no difference on me anyway, there are weeks upon weeks when I've ate exceptionally healthy and felt ridiculously anxious and depressed but paradoxically there are days when I've ate nothing but rubbish and felt on cloud nine!

[maizeNblue81]

Well as far as my symptoms today they have been really bad extreme pressure numbness and physical pain in my brain, extreme confusion, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts, fatigue are all my major symptoms and today it seems they are worse than even the last few days and on days like today I feel like I'm losing my mind emotionally and the fatigue pressure and pain in my head is so bad all I want to do is lay down and sleep.

 

As far as the Zoloft I just don't know what it's adding to my misery and it's hard to keep taking a drug after what I've been through especially if it's making these symptoms worse.

 

If I change to the more accurate way of measuring and just do a syringe and a half to make it 85mg from 87.5mg now to set a more accurate taper as I go down the road would that be ok?

[ChessieCat]

All we can do is offer suggestions which is based on our own experiences and knowledge.  Even with experience and knowledge we can't predict what will happen.  Nobody is able to do this.

 

Many members here face the same difficulty you have of not knowing what to do.  But it is up to you to make the decision about when you reduce your dose of Zoloft.

 

We, both mods and members, are not going to tell you what to do.

[maizeNblue81]

Well days like today make me want to give up and quit the symptoms are so bad and it makes me feel the idea of healing or ever having my life back is just not gonna happen.

 

So I don't know what to do? And the emotional symptoms with the head pressure confusion and fatigue has been more than I can bare today so I'm stuck

[ChessieCat]

You've managed to get this far when, several months ago, you didn't think you could.

 

We all get frustrated and feel hopeless.  All we can do is take one day at a time.

[maizeNblue81]

Forgive me but everyone keeps telling me it gets better and I will heal but after almost a year with this and 6 months off xanex and still no sign of relief or even improvement I'm losing hope.

 

My symptoms have been so severe today to the point it's got me in the floor crying in complete torture and agony and I just don't know how much more I can take?

 

I know I'm still dealing with and don't know what to do with the Zoloft but I've been off benzodiazepines now 6 months and the head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms are classic benzo WD and the emotional symptoms and fatigue DP/DR could be either but this is crazy and I'm trying really hard with working and everything else trying to keep hope alive but it's fading fast.

[maizeNblue81]

We figured my current dose at 87.5mg the way I'm measuring now but if I switch to the more accurate way of measuring and just WD 1 1/2 10ml syringes to make it 85mg to set up a more accurate taper down the road will that really hurt anything at this point?

[mammaP]

That should be fine Maize, it is a very small cut. 

[maizeNblue81]

Ok and I may have to finish the other half of these antibiotics because this infection want go away and it's down into my chest.

 

My symptoms are still so bad and this morning the head pressure and emotional symptoms are off the charts but I don't know what else to do?

[maizeNblue81]

Hi everyone I haven't had a chance to get on here lately with work and everything else but today is my only day off the rest of the week and I'm having a major uptick in symptoms and really struggling right now.

 

I have been off benzodiazepines now 6 1/2 months and I still have not changed anything with the Zoloft but to tonight I'm gonna change to the more accurate measuring deducting 1 1/2 10ml syringes to make it 85mg for now and give that at least 4 weeks then maybe down to 80mg from their.

 

This is my 6th week of work or since I started me new job and I'm working on average 48-52 hours a week as a service manager for a automotive repair facility and it is very stressful and a lot of long hours and today has been horrible with my symptoms.

 

The major symptoms I still deal with is the constant dibilitating head pressure burning numbness and physical pain in my head, extreme fatigue, confusion, DP/DR, and intrusive thoughts and horrible emotional symptoms that go with it.

 

I've noticed that after a long week ir stressful day the symptoms seem worse the emotional symptoms head pressure and extreme fatigue gets me to the point of on the floor crying and it feels like I'm gonna pass out and my brain is just gonna shut down and all I want to do is sleep it's so bad.

 

I'm trying to keep hope and everyone keeps reeling me it gets better and healing will come but this is crazy and 6 1/2 months with no relief, no sign of healing or getting better and to have days like today were they are so bad I can't hardly function at all is very disheartening and I don't know what to do or what to think or if healing will ever come?

 

I'm trying so hard and faking it till I make as they say but it's getting harder and harder to do that and act normal and hide the pain and destruction these drugs have caused in my life.

 

Just looking for some encouragement, some answers and hope that this is not the end and it will get better.

 

God Bless and prayers go out to anyone that has or is going through this misery and torture everyday.

[maizeNblue81]

On top of my symptoms being so severe I think I might have messed up tonight going to measuring the 10, 10ml syringes then deducted 1 1/2 10ml syringes to make the 85mg cause after I took the dose tonight it felt like their was more liquid that I drank so I measured it the same way and checked to see where it hit on my bottle after I took out the 1 1/2 10ml syringes and it hit right at the 100ml bar on my bottle which is where I started at before so in that case I took a little more than I should have. Is that gonna hurt me for one night? And I'm gonna measure again cause if that is the case then I took 1 whole 10ml more than I should have tonight. What should I do? Just take out two 10ml syringes and go from their?

[ChessieCat]

You have done well managing to work full time for 6 weeks, especially such long hours.

 

From what you have posted I can't work out what dose you ended up taking.  Hopefully it won't cause an issue and you could just start taking 85mg from now on.

 

Instead of "take out two 10ml syringes and go from there" it is important that you start with an accurate 100ml measure of water into which you put your tablet to dissolve and then take out and dispose of 15ml of liquid (to get 85mg).  And do it the same every time so you know that you are getting the same dose.

 

If you do it this way, you don't need to measure the amount you are drinking.

[AliG]

Maize. Well done. Awesome job. 

 

Accuracy is of vital importance. 10 ml is a significant amount. Please be so careful as this is your life.  Consistency is the most important thing.  Try not to go changing things around too much as this is what can lead to symptomatic waves.

 

If you do as CC suggests you should be fine.

 

This is a priority in your life presently and it is vital to be precise with your measurements.      

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so before on the Zoloft I was just filling up my sports bottle to the 100ml line then dissolving the the pill and then taking out 1, 10ml syringe to make what I thought was 90mg.

 

So I was wanting to make sure the measuring was accurate so I used the measuring cup and the 10ml syringe to measure out the 100ml and we found that the sports bottle wasn't completely accurate cause I was only getting 7.5 to 8ml syringes out by filling the sports up to the 100ml line so we left it that way all this time and I think we figured the math was around 87.5mg but I'm not sure that was right?

 

Last night I started using the 10ml syringes to measure out the 100ml instead of using the line on the sports bottle that wasn't actually accurate and so I took 10x10ml syringes and put them in the sports bottle and dissolved the pill and took out 1.5 of the 10ml syringes to make the 85mg as suggested and took that.

 

But when I drank the dose last night it seemed like more than I normally took so I did a test to see where I was at and once again I used the 10ml syringe to measure putting 10 of those into the sports bottle and then I withdrew the 1.5, 10ml syringes and checked the line on the sports bottle and it was right at the 100ml line on the bottle.

 

So what I'm saying in that case is before I was filling the bottle up and using or starting at the 100ml line on the bottle then withdrawing the 1 10ml syringe out before I took the dose but last night after I tested my measuring I found that basically after I used the syringe to measure into the sports bottle and then withdrew the 1.5 syringes so 15ml I ended up right at the 100ml line one the bottle with what was left so that means I basically took a whole 10ml syringe more last night than I normally take and that means I was talking before somewhere between 75-80mg nit 87.5mg as thought by my math.

 

I hope I explained that ok I'm doing the best I can and I'm worried cause I think I took more last night than I should have my symptoms are already off the charts and having a major uptick or wave or whatever you want to call it and I just need some help or advice on if my symptoms are normal is healing every gonna happen really and what I'm doing wrong with this Zoloft dose and where to go from here?

 

Stay using the 100ml line on the bottle or keep using the syringe cause it's more accurate but by my calculations I should be withdrawing at least 2 full syringes or maybe 2.5 not 1.5 10ml syringes

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I've held up pretty good till the last two days but I can honestly say my symptoms have doubled in the last 48 hours and are so severe that if I thought they could help I would go to the ER asap.

 

I'm really wandering at this point if my brain has not been permanently damaged and I just don't know how much longer I can hold on? I'm 6 1/2 months off benzodiazepines and I know I'm still dealing with the Zoloft but most of these symptoms did not start until after being detoxed last October.

 

Yesterday they were so bad I literally walked into the dollar store got to the middle of the store and my brain completely shut down and I forgot why I was even there or what I came for and when into a complete panic and then couldn't sleep at all last night.

 

Then today at work was so miserable I couldn't hardly stand up had extreme pressure burning and numbness in my forehead and above my eyes had extreme confusion disoriented and very light headed and dizzy and felt like I was gonna throw up very nauseous all day. A few times I was trying to talk to customers and my brain shut completely down and I lost all train of thought and had to fight my brain to push through and try and remember what I was doing. It was very scary.

 

I don't know if this is another massive wave of symptoms or what but before last night I hadn't changed anything with the Zoloft and my symptoms are always bad but the last two days have been off the charts to the point of me laying on my bed now and just crying in complete suffering and pain.

 

I'm really losing hope and this is very scary and I don't know what to do?

 

I've decided after today and how bad my symptoms are that now is not the time to mess with the Zoloft especially since I don't really know where I'm at with it and what I need to do to correct the way I've been measuring and the way I've been taking it? This is really bad I've been doing the Zoloft the same way for over 2 months now with no changes and again I've been off xanex 6 1/2 months which is now longer than I took it and the hope I have of healing is fading fast and I still think the Zoloft has made things worse but I feel like I'm stuck with it for now which sucks too.

 

Can someone please help me is this another wave of benzo WD? Is this Zoloft what's going on with my brain? And can someone help me figure out what to do with the measuring so I don't mess this up anymore?

 

I can't take anymore and I can hardly function the last two days and I'm really trying to stay positive and keep hope but it's getting harder than ever before and I don't understand.

 

One thing as far as the symptoms that I forget to mention is the intrusive thoughts and the dark mental state too which seems to be worse if I don't keep my mind busy on something else

 

Is any of this normal?

[ChessieCat]

In Post #279 it was mentioned that a graduated cylinder would be the best thing to use to get an accurate measurement of water.

 

Here is the link to one which has some good reviews and is cheap EISCO Graduated Cylinder, Durable Plastic (Polypropylene), 100mL, 0.1mL Graduations, Class B Tolerance, Hexagonal Base

 

Reviews:

 

Used these to taper off a medication slowly doing water titration. Worked just fine. Lines are clearly visible on the cylinder.

 

Nice, light weight and the inside is coated so that the liquid sheets off it. Makes it easier to clean.

 

No more expensive broken glass cylinders due to tip over !!!!

 

I am quite impressed with the functional design of this measuring tool. The cylidical shape in combination with the evenly space graduations makes measuring liquids between 1ml and 100ml not only a breeze, but an actual pleasure. The smooth polypropylene surface in combination with the rough raised graduations provides the perfect handling friction when using this utensil.

 

This is an excellent product at the price point. I tested it against a much more expensive glass cylinder that I own and it matched up nicely. I darkened the raised numerals with an indelible black marker so my old eyes could see them better. Overall this is hard to beat for the cost. The base is wide enough to be stable and as another reviewer mentioned the raised graduations also work well as a handling aid to holding it when your hands are wet. I cannot understand why anybody would rate this unit less than five stars. It is an accurate cylinder for a very reasonable price. What else do you want?

[maizeNblue81]

I'm gonna keep it the way it is for now with my symptoms being so severe and that really doesn't answer any of my questions on what dose I'm actually on or these symptoms?

 

I'm so confused

[ChessieCat]

From Post #279 it was estimated by JanCarol's husband that you have been taking 87.5mg.

 

As far as the questions about your symptoms, most if not all of these have been asked and answered previously.

 

I suggest you re-read your topic from the beginning.

 

During this time that you "keep it the way it is for now" it would be a good idea to buy a graduated cylinder in preparation for your next dose reduction.  As Ali said, getting an accurate dose is very important.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok well as far as the dose that's the problem I don't think it's accurate at all cause when I switched to measuring 10x10ml syringes and then WD 1 1/2 - 10ml syringes that put me right at the 100ml line one the bottle which the 100ml line on the bottle is what I've been measuring by for over 2 months which was to make the 85mg. And when I tried it two nights ago for the first time I know I took more than I should cause there was more liquid that I drank. So something is off and I'm gonna re measure this this weekend when I get some time to figure this out cause something is not right.

 

As far as the symptoms they have been extremely severe over the last 3 days now so and haven't been this bad in months and it's hard for me to believe how I can be having this severe of symptoms after 6 1/2 months off xanex which is longer than I took it on a daily basis which was only 6 months. So I'm not sure if this is another wave of benzo WD and if it is why is it still so severe after being off for this long and I just can't help but think the Zoloft isn't helping my situation but I'm going to continue doing it with measuring with the 100ml bottle for now cause these symptoms are so severe I don't want to mess with anything at all so I feel like I'm stuck.

 

I seem to be getting the worst of this and my family doesn't understand and looks at me like I'm crazy after being off this long and still having this hard of a time. It's been so bad the last 3 days I laid in my bed all night last night crying and it's taking everything I got to push through work and I'm really scared and concerned that my brain has been permanently damaged and healing just isn't gonna happen for me.

 

The head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms in my brain are so dibilitating I can hardly function and the emotional symptoms the severe confusion, DP/DR to the point I can't remember anything and I don't feel like I'm in reality anymore, extreme fatigue, intrusive evil dark emotions and thoughts my brain is really messed up and after all this time it's not getting any better I don't get any windows just waves then extreme waves like this and I'm just looking for hope but it's no their and I don't know how much longer I can hold on this is crazy.

 

I will update everyone when I can re measure this and see where I'm at I've also thought that since I've been using the 100ml line on the bottle can I not still use that and refuse by 5ml instead of ten to make up for it being a little off? I don't know but I don't think it's a good idea to mess with it right now being so uncertain and these symptoms being so severe

[maizeNblue81]

Is anyone there to help me with my last post?

 

These symptoms are so severe still and have gotten really bad again to the point I'm really wandering if my brain has not been permanently damaged.

 

This head pressure burning numbness and physical pain in my head is so severe I can hardly stand up. My head is on fire and if the burning wasn't enough the pressure in my head is so severe I can't keep my eyes open and it feels like my head is gonna pop wide open.

 

Then there is the extreme confusion, DP/DR, disoriented, and dark cloud and thoughts what is honestly happening to my brain and why are these symptoms so severe after almost 7 months?

 

I thought acute was only 2-4 months tops and here I am at 6 1/2 almost 7 and I'm still having severe acute symptoms 24/7 and when a massive wave hits me like this it just about takes me out and the last three or four days it's been as bad if not worse as it's ever been.

 

I'm really losing hope and my brain is really screwed up and I don't know how much longer I can survive this all the pain and suffering is too much and very scary.

[ChessieCat]

You are asking the same questions that you have asked before.  They have already been answered.  The answers are still the same.  Please re-read the responses you have previously been given by the moderators regarding the same symptoms and same questions.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes and I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a bother or get on anyone else's nerves but the symptoms not only are still severe at 6 1/2 months sometimes they can be even worse and I only took the drug for 6 months now I've been off longer than I was on and I'm sorry it's not like I've been through this before and how much suffering can one person take? And forgive me but 6 1/2 months with no improvement and windows just major waves and to have the symptoms get worse? Yeah that's more than a little scary and I still don't know what the Zoloft is really doing to my brain?

 

So I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I wouldn't wish this kinda of torture on anyone

[maizeNblue81]

I'm really fighting and I'm really having a hard time these symptoms are so severe physically and emotionally and I just can't understand how these are so severe the head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms and these emotional symptoms after almost 7 months and I'm gonna remeasure with the bottle and the Zoloft today to figure out where I'm at with that but I really need some help and to know my brain isn't permanently damaged cause this wave has about taking me out.

[ChessieCat]

Please note that I am not criticising you with this post but I am trying to help you by explaining what I think may be happening.  I do understand that you are experiencing extreme discomfort from your drug withdrawal and Zoloft.

 

However ADDED TO THIS I think you have become fearful of what you are going through, scared because you don't know what is happening and why it is happening and frightened because you don't know how long it will last or if you will be like this forever.

 

Unfortunately, other than time, not much can be done about the drug induced symptoms you are experiencing, BUT YOU CAN learn ways to cope better with the fear that has developed.  I strongly suggest you watch these videos by Claire Weekes.  The first one is only 97 seconds long on Bewilderment and Fear.  This YouTube member has posted 24 videos.  There are lots of other videos of her on YouTube as well.

 

I would love to hear what you think of Claire Weekes.  She was an Australian doctor who was born in 1903, so some of the terms she uses are a bit old-fashioned but she explains things in such a simple way.  Listening to her can be a bit like listening to an old Aunt or Great Aunt.  I realise that some of what she says may not be relevant to you but I hope by listening to her you can find something which helps you.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes ma'am and thank you for all your help but it is very scary what's happening to me and has happened to me over the last year and I can say it's very hard for me knowing that I've been off xanex now almost 7 months and I know and I have talked individuals that were on these drugs a lot longer than me and at much higher doses that did not have it this bad and symptoms weren't as severe and didn't last as long so that is very discouraging as it seems I have gotten the worst of it when it comes to benzodiazepines and the Zoloft was a horrible idea and that was the doctors and my family pushing me into it at the hospital and now I'm the one suffering for it and even though I didn't know then what I know know I knew it was the drugs making me sick.

 

To have this severe wave hit me like this over the past week has literally almost knocked me out for the count and I can say my symptoms are as bad and dibilitating as they have ever been and I'm trying so hard and pushed myself to get back to work trying not to let this control my life and doing the best I can with the hand I've been dealt.

 

This past week has been miserable and to the point just like today I went to church with my mom then took her and my family out to eat and then my girls to a movie and it was all I could do to keep it together to make it through and it's been so bad this past week I even told my mom if I didn't survive this to see another Mother's Day I loved her and she was the best momma and hand picked for me.

 

I can not begin to describe the severe suffering I'm going through. The head pressure numbness burning and physical symptoms in my brain are beyond word and something no human being should ever have to go through and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

Then you combine that with the emotional symptoms, the severe confusion, DP/DR, extreme fatigue and intrusive thoughts it's like I feel like I'm permanently damaged I'll never be the same the old me and ever see life the way I used too and all I wanna do is lay down and cry and give up.

 

So I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a bother and I know I'm repeating myself and I'm sorry if anyone feels like I'm not trying cause I am but this is so scary and miserable and I'm really losIng hope I will ever get better or make it through to the other side.

 

Please don't give up on me you guys here are all the support I have and I don't know what to do with this Zoloft and it's for sure delayed my healing and something else I have to deal with, these symptoms are very scary dibilitating and my family thinks I'm crazy and doesn't believe me when I tell them how bad it is after all this time and all the doctors do is look at me like I'm crazy too and want me to take more drugs when it's the drugs that have destroyed my life.

 

So please help me and don't give up on me it's 3am and I'm really scared and fighting to hold onto any kind of hope at all

[ChessieCat]

Have you watched any of the videos?