maizeNblue81

MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

695 posts in this topic

Ok sorry to bother everyone this morning but my mom didn't get to read these post to me last night gonna try and get her to go back today and re read these but I'm really scared and struggling today even more than yesterday and this continues to get worse and I don't know what to do? 

 

The pressure numbness burning and pain in my head is so severe I can't hardly stand up. Extreme nausea light headed dizzy extreme anxiety now my nervous system is shot and I can't sleep or get easy at all and the worst part is the emotional symptoms and how they have changed and continues to get worse. 

 

I woke up up this morning literally feeling like I was crawling out of my own skin completely confused disoriented severe DP/DR and the evil place my mind has gone the horrible intrusive thoughts are about more than I can bare. I literally feel like I'm losing all since of myself and the reality around me and when I woke up in the state I was in I walked into the kitchen where my mom and dad was and nothing but evil harmful thoughts flooding my mind thinking crazy things like I would do something to harm my mom or dad and that's crazy.

 

I know everyone gets frustrated at me when I talk about these symptoms but they really have become that much more severe and have changed that much over the last month especially the last week or so the head pressure and physical symptoms in my head are worse and at a all time high and these emotional symptoms are so much more severe to the point I really am scared and it's hard to use and is getting increasingly harder to even use distracting techniques because of how severe they have become. It's so bad I'm telling the truth when I say it is as bad now if not worse than back in October when I went into the hospital and I really don't know what to do if this is a Benzo wave that will pass or the Zoloft turning on my or a combo of both but 6 weeks ago I would have thought I was over the worst but know I feel like the last 8 months have been for nothing and I'm right back where I started and I really feel like I'm having a complete psychological breakdown I mean even my vision has been effected and this severe pain in my head and the severe intrusive thoughts losing myself no cognitive ability at all no filter on my brain and this evil cloud in my head I'm losing it and I would go to the hospital right now if I thought they wouldn't just look at me like I was crazy and try to put me on more drugs. 

 

Is any of this normal at all? Will this pass? It just keeps getting worse. Is it safe to taper off the Zoloft now I mean if it's making me worse I don't see I have a choice? 

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Hey I would get rid of anything in your life to make u feel better.  If you feel work is braking you down then you have to quit.  If work distracts you and it's tolerable than stay.  Every one in WD is different and u have to do what u can with how severe your symptoms are. And do whats best.   Benzo wd can last a long time, much longer than 8 months . And at some point it will just start to get better and continue to get better. Nobody knows when that is.  

 

Usually people on here recommend tapering the ssri 1st and leaving the benzo last . But I'm sure many people have done what u have  done . The zoloft is tricky I won't lie about that.  To taper or hold?  I don't know .  It certainly didn't help to add such a big drug . But so many of us are stuck on other drugs while being in acute WD from another one.  It's pretty standard actually for what these docs due to people .

 

Somehow u have to have the will to survive and it's very difficult to go through. And yes WD can be much more severe for some . Symptoms can be much stronger . Not everybody gets akathisia or crippling pain etc.. It really varies from person to person .

 

Has any mod suggested  reinstating a small dose of the benzo to allivate the benzo wd?  And then tapering slowly when ready?  I haven't read through all the notes.

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No I'm not going back on any benzo and as far as the Zoloft everyone is telling me to hold for now until the Benzo symptoms maybe start to get a little better but I can honestly say this is the worst wave of symptoms in 8 months and the worst mental and physical suffering I have ever experienced.

 

a lot of people tell me about months 4-8 being the worst and getting hit with a massive wave of symptoms between months 6-8 then starting to get maybe some relief gradually in momth 9 but I'm doing all I know to do to survive even stopped working as I can't hardly leave the house now but if this wave continues to increase or last much longer I don't know how much more I can take both the physical symptoms in my head and the severe emotional symptoms are excruciating and the most intense they have ever been and I get hit right at the end of months 6 and then again majorly about a week ago now 8 1/2 months off benzos but still holding on the Zoloft and this is literally torture and I feel like I'm losing my mind and literally dying. 

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Very well understood,  im hoping you get some relief soon .

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Santino is another member who has realised the importance of acceptance.

 

13 hours ago, Santino said:

Hi Scallywag

I have been sincere all the time with my posts and to tell the truth even now i feel a bit scared reading all the messages that i have written into my topic.... :-)

My life last year was to say the least miserable. To imagine all my symptoms from benzo WD including terrible anxiety, akathisia, very deeeeep suicidial depression on some particular days, terrible sleep every two three days with horror dreaming and anxiety soo early in the morning... they seem to all be a thing of the past now. Meditation and acceptance have played a big role on it my friend. Your assistance too was great in my difficult times when i would really put in question my existence. 

Anyway i still have low motivation to do things at work, medium level depression, back pain and rumination accompained with brain fatigue on particular days but life is livable again. Last year i would come to work wait for the time and run to my home like a robot. Even when going out i would stay alone at my preferred bar near my home just drink my decaf and think nonstop how my life is finishing while my baby's daughter life was starting. I confess i would cry most of the nights before sleep just thinking i would not be able to see my daughter grow up. In contrast now i can feel for people, i can face some problems (not all maybe), i enjoy going for a walk with my daughter at the park, i can plan for my vacations next week and most of the time i enjoy staying with other people. These all bring a sense of normalcy to me which i almost lost totally last year.

Should i be proud of myself...???!!!! I am not sure as i still struggle here and there but life goes on as a train and i am trying to clinch my hands on my wagon... I know i have gone a bit fast with the cats but i was not a long time user and as long as i was feeling wd subside i would go for another cut. Currently at 1.2 and hopping by the end of autumn to be there. If i feel destabilizing i do not mind stopping cuts though. Anyway i am still far from a success story but acceptance plays a big role. Once i followed you guys advice and accepted my situation things became easier. Still very very tough but livable and now i feel the difference.

Thanks to all of you and i will continue to update my signature time after time until i reach the 0 level. I am hoping Altostrada will not mind putting into my topic the here comes the sun symbol soon... hahahah :-)

Hugs for everybody and believe in yourselves. I know many of you need these reassurance on the bad days. I still do need it some times, but the good days tell me that i need to push forward. And I WILL DO.

Santino from Albania

 

 

 

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Ms Cat I'm so sorry my symptoms have increased to the point I can not read this I haven't even been on her in the last couple of days as this wave has intensified yet again and I've been doing all I know to do to hold on but it just keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do even having a hard time writing this. I'm gonna try and get my mom to read all this to me today but they have been busy with a member of their church being killed in a car wreck.

 

I really and struggling more than ever before and I try constantly to distract myself and do whatever I can do to make it through but I'm finding it increasingly harder and harder everyday to survive with my symptoms continuing to increase to levels I've never experienced before at any point in the 8 1/2 months I've been off Benzos.

 

Its gotten to the point nothing is working anymore and I literally feel like I'm losing my mind completely and having a psychological breakdown and I don't know how much longer I can hang on if this continues to get worse? 

 

The head pressure burning numbness tightening in my head is so severe I can't think have no cognitive ability at all I can't hardly drive anymore I can't eat or sleep or find any kind of relief at all and these emotional symptoms are so very scary and between the severe confusion DP/DR and horrific intrusive thoughts I feel like I'm completely losing my mind and find it hard to function in anyway with these increases in my symptoms brings severe anxiety and panic and I find it hard to distract myself and make it through at all with how severe they have become I feel like I'm literally crawling out of my skin both the physical pain in my head and the severe increase of emotional symptoms reached and all time high even worse than after Detox and the first few months and I haven't even been able to measure the Zoloft out with the syringe as planed just try to get it as close to the 100ml line on my bottle as I can but even have a hard time doing that and have to have my mom ck it to make sure it's right on it because it's like my brain want even read what my eyes are seeing anymore. I feel completely lost and losing more of myself everyday giving way to these horrible and very scary symptoms and I'm trying to hold on but this is really scaring me how severe it has gotten and how much these symptoms have changed and increased even just over the past week or even the last few days especially the pain in my head and the severe intrusive thoughts and emotional symptoms are still climing and getting so much worse. 

 

It worries me because I'm being told these kinda of severe increases and major waves of symptoms or common in the time frame I'm in between 6-8 months with Benzo Being the and some relief starts to come in months 9 but it is so bad I'm barely hanging on and I still wander if the Zoloft is making all this worse or what role it is playing in this but I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going crazy and losing my mind. 

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"have no cognitive ability"

 

If you had no cognitive ability you would not be to compile the very detailed and long posts that you are.  By saying that you "have no cognitive ability" is being dramatic.

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Just a quick note Maize to tell you that I am rooting for you, cheering you on, and hoping you get better soon -- and I am sure many on this forum are too.  Hang in there! 
Wishing you well,

M.

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just breathe Maize, breathe

 

you are going to get thru this.

 

 

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I'm the same way emotional symptoms like the thoughts of harming others and many more of horror thoughts take up my whole mind through the day and night and seem to be getting worse with that feeling of loss of the way you used to be never coming back and the fear of the thoughts getting worse afraid of living the rest of our life like this I just hope for you and me it gets a lot better

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I'm now a week away from 9 months out and I feel like all hope is lost and there is no coming back from what these drugs have done to me! This can't be just Benzo WD after 9 months and this wave that hit me right at the end of month 6 now almost at 9 months continues to increase and change in intensity! 

I literally feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin and losing my mind or having a complete psychological breakdown it's so bad and severe more so now than even when I went into Detox which is very scary and hard to understand how I could get hit like this and be this bad at almost 9 months! 

Even just over the last week all my symptoms continue to increase and becaome so much worse than ever before! The most consistent and constant symptom the head pressure burning numbness tightness and physical pain in my head especially in my forehead behind my eyes in my temples the top of my head down into my ears the right side of my head and into the my neck is so severe I can't even function have had to quit work and cant hardly drive or even leave the house anymore when 2 months ago I was working and at least able to function somewhat although still suffering but nothing like this! 

On top of the physical pain the emotional symptoms are getting to hard to ignore or distract from! Severe DP/DR, confusion, brain fog, can't think or remember what I'm doing half the time and the increased level of anxiety insomnia and horrific intrusive thoughts and changes in mood are getting so severe I can't hardly take it or distract from it anymore! 

About all I can do is lay in bed and suffer or stand out on the porch and suffer or just pace around the house going completely crazy and in so much physical torture! 

This is insane I will be 9 months off this coming Thursday and yes I'm still on Zoloft but I've been holding staeady for over 3 months now so no major changes in meds and o really feel like I'm dying or completely losing my mind! 

What is this? Why is this wave continuing to get worse when I'm not doing anything to push myself at all! Is any of this normal or is this just simply Benzo WD and a major huge horrific wave that is continuing to get worse and last forever?

 

I just stood in the mirror for 20 mins I bet shaking feeling like I was having a nervous breakdown and losing my mind and couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror I'm losing it 

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