MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[ChessieCat]

We know you are suffering and we know you don't know what to do.

 

Some of the mods and members have been through similar so they do understand.

 

What we are trying to do is help you find ways to hold on and get through this tough time.  When we offer suggestions about distracting etc, we aren't trying to minimise or trivialise the suffering you are experiencing.  The suffering is real.  We don't know the answer to what you should do about it regarding drugs, but the people here who have managed to get through similar suffering want to support you and suggest ways which might help you too.

 

However as already said by a few of the mods, only you can do it.  We understand that it is hard but there is a way through and if you do your part by trying some of the things which we suggest, you may find that for a few minutes you can take your mind off your suffering.

 

It is going to take time, but instead of trying to work out what has caused it you need to find ways which work for you to get through each moment of the day.  As each moment adds up you will get through one day, and then because you know you have done it once, you can do it moment by moment the next day, and by distracting it will help your body not be as stressed (the stress that you add to it by worrying and focussing on your symptoms) and as the days go by healing will be happening.  Little by little, so you probably won't notice the improvement at first, but in a few weeks' time you will hopefully be able to look back and think, oh good, this symptom doesn't feel as bad as it did.  Focussing on your symptoms will not make them go away, in fact my opinion is that the stress of focussing on them slows down the healing process.

 

Time is what is going to heal you.  You just need to find ways to get through this time.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes ma'am I understand and I try to distract myself constantly but it's gotten so bad nothing is helping!

 

This all seems to have broke loose 2 weeks after the drop in Zoloft and I'm sure the inconsistency of the dose isn't helping and I don't think I have the ability or what it's gonna take to do the whole liquid thing and the only thing I know to do is just go back up to the 100mg tablets cause atleast it would be a consistent dose and the only other option is to go down to 75mg which is another drop I could get that pretty accurate but if it's this bad after the drop between 75mg and 100mg I don't think I could handle another dose decrease right now!

 

This is so bad and I really don't understand why or how it could get so much worse after all this time and I literally feel like I'm dying and the suffering is so much worse than before!

 

If it's benzo WD the only thing to help benzo WD is another benzo and I'm not doing that! If it's the Zoloft and the inconsistency of dose then the only thing I know to do is go back up and be consistent but I honestly believe knowing Zoloft is activating it could just be making things worse anyway but after all this time I'm stuck because I couldn't handle the WD from that and the benzo WD at the same time which I think is completely complicating things now!

[ChessieCat]

You say that you have been trying to distract yourself.

 

What things, exactly, have you been trying.  We are trying to help you but need to do your part.

 

Please make a post telling us ONLY what sorts of things you have been trying to help distract yourself.  Please do not post what you can't do.  Please do not post anything about the drugs or the symptoms JUST post what sort of things you have been trying.

[maizeNblue81]

But the Zoloft is a big deal and I don't know what to do about it? And their has to be a reason for the exasperated symptoms!

 

I don't won't things to keep getting worse and something has to give!

 

I watch tv and play games on my phone and I try and go outside for a few minutes and I try and do small chores around the house it's all I have

[maizeNblue81]

Is this benzo WD which I can do nothing about or is this Zoloft related or a combo of both? What do I do or what can I do to stop the bleeding? I'm sorry I'm just so scared and it's gotten so much worse over the last week and I've tried to explain all the symptoms and all the changes and everything that's happened since trying the drop and much like I found tonight I'm not gonna get much help elsewhere and I'm just trying to make sense of it all and do what needs to be done to stay alive and keep it from getting worse!

[mammaP]

"When I'm not crying like at the hospital I would cry in complete agony and pain" 

 

Did you cry in the hospital MB,  did they see you the same as you are at home?   

 

This is not going to go away, for a while but it will get easier. You have to go with it and wait for it to get better. Crying is distressing your parents and draining your energy. I have no doubt that your parents were hoping the doctor would keep you at the hospital because it is every parents nightmare when their child is suffering and they can do nothing. We have had thousands of people here who have been brought to their knees by withdrawal. High profile sportsman,  firefighters, police officers, all strong people who have been in so much pain and suffering who have got better and moved on. Many people find this site invaluable and get hope from being here, but you have to work with it and stop thinking it will be forever, because it wont. One of the people who were very badly affected is Monica, of www.beyondmeds.com she couldn't lift her head or clean her teeth at times, but now she is getting on withher life and inspires so many others. She kept a blog which is now huge and has lots of advice and ways to cope. Check it out and see how she did it. 

 

An easy way to make the liquid. Get a bottle, or jar/tub with a lid. Measure 100ml room temperature or warm water into it. Drop in a tablet. Leave it till your next dose is due.Shake it well to ensure it is evenly distributed.  Use a syringe to remove 10ml and throw it away. If you don't have a syringe yet use a 5ml medicine spoon. Take the rest, which will be 90mg It seems like a lot but is easier than trying to work out ratios when your brain is not functioning well. 100mg = 100ml When you have taken it, immediately measure 100ml of water, drop in the tablet and put on the lid ready for the next dose. This will become as routine and is so easy. No need to cut up or crush them. If it isn't dispersed give it a good shake. 

 

( I use a kids medicine bottle, they come with a 5ml syringe. I bought the bottle of kids medicine then threw away the medicine and removed the label to avoid confusion) . Going to 90 will be less of a shock than jumping back to 100, see how it goes. 

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah I completely broke down in the hospital while we were waiting for the results from the test they did but I tried to keep calm while the doctor or nurse was in the room but it was hard!

 

I really don't know what to do? These symptoms have gotten so much worse and I've suffered for so very long I'm struggling to hold on or have hope I'll get better or have any kind of a future that doesn't include more pain and suffering!

 

I don't know what to do with the Zoloft and I can't tell whether this recent change and increase of symptoms is Benzo WD or the Zoloft or a combo of both but it's hit me so hard I'm losing hope!

 

I don't really know how to do the liquid or all the stuff to get consistent dose on the Zoloft and I'm sure that hasn't helped my cause any and I'm really scared and don't know what to do?

 

The head pressure and physical symptoms are so severe and have gotten so much worse! The confusion DP/DR extreme mood swings and horrible intrusive thoughts have come back I feel physically sick and extreme fatigue I'm really struggling and yes it's hard for my parents cause they don't know what to do but the bad thing is neither do I!

 

I have a Appointment to see my PCP on the 3rd and the ER doctor wants me to see a neurologist as well but I don't know what to really do with the Zoloft as that's the only meds in the equation and what ever it's doing to contribute to my situation good or bad it is effecting it and my overall health and something has to be done and something has to change!

[ChessieCat]

MammaP has explained how to dissolve the tablet and how to get the dose.  (I use a kids medicine bottle, they come with a 5ml syringe. I bought the bottle of kids medicine then threw away the medicine and removed the label to avoid confusion).

 

If you aren't able to follow her instructions, you could get one of your parents or your sister to get what you need and show you what to do.  These are the instructions broken down into steps:

 

1.  Get a bottle, or jar/tub with a lid.

 

2  Measure 100ml room temperature or warm water into it.

 

3.  Drop in a tablet. Leave it till your next dose is due.

 

4.  Shake it well to ensure it is evenly distributed.

 

5.  100mg = 100ml - Use a syringe to remove 10ml and throw it away.  Or use a 5ml medicine spoon.

 

6.  Take the rest, which will be 90mg

 

7.  When you have taken it, measure 100ml of water, drop in the tablet and put on the lid ready for the next dose.

[maizeNblue81]

I can try right now the head pressure is so bad my whole forehead and even my face is numb my vision is off I can't think I cant hardly breath or stand up!

 

What's happening to me? Why has this gotten so bad with the head pressure and the emotional thoughts?

[ChessieCat]

"If you aren't able to follow her instructions, you could get one of your parents or your sister to get what you need and show you what to do."

 

What is so hard about asking your parents to help you take an accurate dose of Zoloft?

 

They were willing to take you to hospital.  They want to help you.  Once you have the tools and are shown how to do it you will be taking an accurate dose and it will be easier than cutting up a tablet.

[maizeNblue81]

My mom said she would try and help me tomorrow look over what can be done but I reall am scared and I'm really trying to figure out what's going on with me!

 

In the past week as I've mentioned the head pressure, burning, numbness and severe pain in my head has doubled and gotten so much worse and like right now I'm laying here in bed and I feel physically sick very nauseous the head pressure has moved to the side middle and back of my neck and I'm telling you the emotional symptoms especially the horrible evil cloud the intrusive thoughts have come back full force again to the point I had to stop watching the movie I was watching and post this!

 

I'm for real it was this bad before I started messing with the Zoloft especially the thoughts!

 

I had severe SU/HM ideation towards the end of the taper of the Xanax which is what drove me to the hospital and after awhile it got better and went away now it's back and honestly it's been only over the last week since all this got worse that it's hit me!

 

Ok scared these benzo WD are nuts I don't know what the Zoloft is doing to my brain but between the physical and the emotional symptoms I feel like I'm dying and I'm back to having a psychotic breakdown!

 

If the Zoloft is causing some of these rebounding symptoms like the intense intrusive thoughts what do I do?

[maizeNblue81]

Bottom line is and I know everyone gets mad at me and please forgive me but before I started messing with the dose of Zoloft the worst symptom by far was the head pressure and physical stuff but now the emotional stuff is getting just as bad and it's getting worse by the day!

[maizeNblue81]

 

Right now my main symptoms and source of suffering is the relentless intense dibilatating head pressure burning numbness and physical pain in my head and it gets so bad I can't stand or walk and all I can do is lay down. It feels like something is pulling me from the head down straight to the ground and their is so much pressure in my forehead, above my eyes, to the middle part of my head down into the back of my neck that I can't hardly breath or function at all at times and it feels like my head is burning and going to explode!

 

The emotional symptoms are getting pretty bad again too, severe confusion, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts cognitive issues it's all bad and I'm honestly sacred I will never recover or ever be the same ever again! I've been off Xanax now 19 weeks and no improvement at all and now getting worse!

 

So I feel like I've never left acute benzo WD or I'm still having major symptoms with no waves or windows just constant suffering and pain! And I don't know what the Zoloft is doing but I don't think it's good with how bad things have gotten since messing or dropping the dose 3 weeks ago and I just feel like my brain has been damaged forever and their is no hope!

 

I can't even hardly raise my eyes or even close them the head pressure is so bad and I don't feel normal like myself and these worsening emotional symptoms are scaring me more and more everyday!

[maizeNblue81]

Why is this getting so much worse now? The head pressure is so bad I can't smile, raise my eyes, yawn and my whole face forehead middle down into my neck is completely numb and burning and I literally feel like my head is gonna explode!

 

It's effecting my vision I can't hardly walk without feeling like I'm gonna fall over and pass out I'm so weak and I can't take this torture and suffering anymore! 19 weeks no improvement no signs of getting better and now I'm getting worse by the day!

 

I got my scrip today for the 100mg tablets and a syringe with a bottle that measure 100ml and I put one of the tablets in their but it looks like it's not desolving evenly so I don't know?

 

The syringe I got measures to 2 tsp and then the other side is to 10ml so I'm not sure what I'm saposed to do?

 

With the constant head pressure extreme confusion fatigue DP/DR and these intrusive thoughts I feel like I've been damaged forever and I will never be normal again and like I'm literally dying and having a complete breakdown emotionally!

 

I need help this can't be! 19 weeks off xanex and no better getting worse and still having major acute symptoms!

 

What if this is the Zoloft what is it doing to my brain? How do I survive this pain and torture it's getting to the point I feel literally crazy and psycho and always in extreme pain 24/7!

 

I understand a few months of bad symptoms but this is crazy!

 

I went to the store today since didn't feel like I was even in reality anymore not normal at all couldn't hardly walk and crazy stuff going on in my head and this is not me!

[mammaP]

Well done for going to the store! That is step in the right direction and a distraction.Give yourself a pat on the back! It will get better. 

[Shep]

I got my scrip today for the 100mg tablets and a syringe with a bottle that measure 100ml and I put one of the tablets in their but it looks like it's not desolving evenly so I don't know?

 

The syringe I got measures to 2 tsp and then the other side is to 10ml so I'm not sure what I'm saposed to do?

 

 

 

 

Hi, Maize. Like MammaP just posted, well done for going to the store.

 

Once you have your liquid ready in the 100 ml container, use your syringe to remove 10 ml. You state that your syringe is 10 ml, so remove 10 ml of the liquid and throw it away.

 

Drink the 90 ml that is left. 

 

100 ml - 10 ml = 90 ml, just like Chessie wrote out in this post here. 

 

This 90 ml of liquid equals 90 mg.

 

After you do this a few times, it will become habit. 

 

Concerning your question about the fact that the pill is not evenly dissolving, you may need to give it more time to dissolve. Also, please see the below post from the section of the Liquid Titration thread that addresses this very concern.

 

 

 

 

What if my medication is "insoluble" in water?

About solubility or insolubility, our esteemed member Rhi, who has lab experience, has made many, many homemade liquids:

.... I just wanted to toss in my usual bit on the subject of making preparations for liquid tapering, which is: I personally don't worry about solubility.

 

None of the meds I'm tapering are actually soluble in water. But the pills dissolve into small enough particles that I can stir them up and keep them suspended in water while I measure them out, and that seems to work for me. I stir well before I measure, I stir a little while pipetting them up; I dissolve the pills in glass and pipette out of glass so that I can see visually how evenly everything is suspended, and that's good enough for me.

 

I use water as a medium because I like it that I can easily see for myself how evenly the little particles are suspended or if they seem to be settling out. Also because it's handy and cheap and I don't have to carry it with me if I travel.

 

Mostly I would just say, I don't think it really matters if the medication is soluble in whatever vehicle you're using, as long as it can be evenly distributed. What really matters is that it be evenly distributed and that your method be repeatable and consistent.

 

[maizeNblue81]

Well I tried it last night followed the directions given and did the best I could and hope I did it right but I don't know?

 

I hope I'm not screwing this all up and making this worse and I do worry about how much of the medicine I'm really taking and how much I'm getting in the the syringe!

 

I just don't understand the head pressure is unbelievable and my whole face around my eyes my forehead my temples into the middle of my head down into the back of my neck so much pressure pain and burning it's so bad I think it's effecting my vision I can't hardly walk without feeling like I'm gonna pass out I can't hardly hold my head up or even think I can't even raise my my eyes because of all the pressure in my head and I don't understand why it's so bad after 19 weeks off and getting worse?

 

The emotional are pretty severe to extreme confusion DP/DR, intrusive thoughts extreme fatigue is this gonna make me worse?

 

Will this ever end?

[maizeNblue81]

I tried the liquid thing again to night except this time I poured the liquid after it was dissolved into a clear glass bottle stirred for a few seconds then measured out 10ml to make the 90ml left and drank that.

 

I'm scared I don't know if I'm doing this right or how much I'm actually taking of the Zoloft and I'm new to this.

 

Is anyone still their? Has everyone giving up on me?

 

How can my symptoms be still this bad after 19 now almost 20 weeks off?

 

How can the head pressure and physical pain stil be so relentless and getting worse?

 

Is this liquid thing gonna make it worse?

[ChessieCat]

It takes about 4 days for the drug to get to full state in the blood after a change in dose.  It takes a few more days for it to register in the brain.  It is the consistency of the dose, not the dose itself, which is important.  Provided you are doing the same thing each time you should be getting a consistent dose.

 

Please keep daily notes on paper. You may be asked to post these so that your situation can be assessed by the mods.  Here are the instructions:  Keep Notes on Paper.

 

Rate Symptoms Daily to Check Patterns and Progress Doing this can help you to see improvements that are small and you may not notice or feel.

 

There are several versions of checklist here Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

Please read the following carefully.  It is part of a post by Alto Strata, the site's owner, which you can find here:

 

“People are doing something here that involves some risk, their health and well-being is at stake, and it's very, very important that anyone tapering or dealing with withdrawal syndrome maintain a balanced view of their symptoms -- and not exaggerate them.

 

This is not only for the person's own self-care, as you can easily make your symptoms worse by obsessing over them or stoking your fears of catastrophe.  It is also because I and the staff need accurate information to make informed guesses about what might help.

 

When someone joins us and starts a long history of over-dramatization of symptoms and clamors for attention by various means, that makes me nervous.  I worry that I might not be able to understand the person's situation and help the best way I can.  Dramatizing, catastrophizing, and making an uproar for attention means possibly not providing accurate information as the basis for next steps.

 

This is dangerous and worries me terribly.  Tapering is not easy.  I would rather the person not take on the challenge of tapering than go into the process with an attitude or habit of expression that will magnify every little bump into a disaster.  This is not good for anyone.”

[maizeNblue81]

As far as the dose I have done as instructed and I picked up a bottle with a lid that measured 100ml and a 10ml syringe from the pharmacy when I picked up the new scrip of Zoloft 100mg I got from the ER.

 

I have done as asked and filled the bottle to 100ml the last two nights then dropping a 100mg tablet into the water and letting it completely dissolve over night then when time to take my next dose I pour the 100ml of water with the dissolved 100mg tablet into a clear glass measuring cup stir then remove 10ml with a syringe and drink the rest as suggested and by the instructions I was given.

 

As far as overdramatizing the situation I really am scared and have tried to be as descriptive and accurate with my symptoms and situation!

 

I have now been off Xanax from a CT Detox since October 20, 2016 so about 4 months or so and the benzo WD is still quite severe and really scary that some of these symptoms have lasted this long with no windows and waves just constant suffering!

 

I also have told everyone that when in the hospital I was intitialy put on .5mg of resperdal which took for two weeks and as soon as I got out of the hospital I dropped it to .25mg for two weeks then got off that mess as soon as I could!

 

While in the hospital they also put me on 50mg of Zoloft to start then before I left they bumped it up to 75mg and I stayed there for about a month then on my month follow up I was bumped up to 100mg and stayed at that dose for 9-10 before coming here and thinking the Zoloft was making it so much worse so I started to cut back to see if it helped as suggested and used 50mg tablets and a pill cutter for 3 weeks to get to 87.5mg or as close as I could get it and after two weeks of that my symptoms became much more severe or got worse and I didn't know what to do and of course as noted before ended up in the ER were the doctor their didn't want to put me on anything else but recommended I go back to 100mg and that is what led us to the liquid version and trying to get to 90mg with that!

 

I really hope this doesn't just mess me up more and put me in a even worse spot than I already am!

 

No joke about my symptoms and when I say I'm so tired of suffering that's an understatement!

 

Again my symptoms are not exaggerated they are what they are pure misery!

 

Extreme intense pressure burning numbness in my head and face, so bad to the point I can't hardly function at all walk talk or do anything and it is the worst symptom by far and seems to be common with benzo WD but doesn't usually last this long and isn't this bad so that's the worst!

 

Confusion, DP/DR, dizziness, nausea, extreme fatigue, and horrible intrusive thoughts have all been major symptoms too and really seemed to get so much worse after messing with the dose of the Zoloft!

 

I literally set here in pure torture and misery everyday and I lay in my bed and cry in complete misery a lot of the time especially with the head pressure and I've tried to explain all of this as best I can and yes I am sacred and I'm tired of suffering and I wish I would have stood my ground and not let the doctors put me back on anymore drugs but here I am

[maizeNblue81]

Ok one thing I will tell you today I noticed a big increase in the intrusive thoughts that are really scaring me! I feel like I am really going crazy and the horrible evil in my brain is getting worse that and the head pressure are the two worse symptoms and today both have been off the charts!

 

I was literally setting in my chair earlier with the head pressure being so bad I couldn't even raise my eyes! And I was just setting and talking to someone earlier and the things coming out of me in the conversation was the real me but the evil going on in my head was someone completely else and it hasn't been this way since I went into the hospital and all this is coming back!

 

I'm really worried about this liquid and dissolving the Zoloft and making things worse and I'm wondering if just going back down to 75mg pill or going back up to a 100mg would have been better because all this is not working and with the liquid I worry about consistency and how much I'm getting and taking even more!

[Shep]

No joke about my symptoms and when I say I'm so tired of suffering that's an understatement!

 

Again my symptoms are not exaggerated they are what they are pure misery!

 

 

 

Just a few thoughts, here, Maize. Please take them as helpful advice, as you are wearing out the moderators.

 

You are definitely exaggerating. Several times, you have claimed to be on your deathbed (you use the word "dying" or that you are too sick to get out of bed). And yet in the very same posts, you are able to get out and go to the store in this post here and in this post here. 

 

You've been using the word "dying" since you came on the forum two months ago, so we are having a very hard time understanding where you are with your symptoms. I did a quick "finder" function and found over two dozen times where you claimed to be "dying". This is exaggeration. If it isn't, please seek on-the-ground support, as we are a peer-run support forum and we cannot help this type of medical crisis. 

 

Also, your posting style is very high-drama. Lots of exclamation points and lots of repetition. We understand you are in pain and are suffering, but you've made 150 posts in only a few weeks and all of them are very anxious, using a writing style that adds to a triggering and "shock" value. 

 

Please go back to this post by JanCarol here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13732-maizenblue81-tapering-zoloft-during-severe-acute-xanax-wd/?p=273246

 

Taking an epsom salt bath is a great way to get relief. Doing the videos like Jan listed is also a great way of finding relief.

 

You won't find immediate relief in anything, but when you're in a crisis state, you have to take it one day and sometimes, one minute, at a time. Adding in these kinds of non-drug coping skills will build up and over time, you will feel better. This is something you can control. 

 

You'll find that your mind will relax as you let your body relax. 

 

So, here is your homework:

 

1.  Epsom salt bath or simply use a bucket like JanCarol writes about in that post I just linked.

 

2.  Video that she linked. I'll also link it here. 

 

3. And I'm going to add a very short breathing exercise that I've been using with great results. Again, doesn't work right away, but in time, you'll learn how to relax even when you're struggling:

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen

 

This is a bit longer, but it explains how and why this type of deep breathing works:

 

The 4-7-8 Breath: Health Benefits & Demonstration

 

4. Make sure you're eating throughout the day. Low blood sugar can mimic withdrawal in many ways, including making anxiety and intrusive thoughts worse. A low-sugar diet with plenty of protein with several healthy snacks throughout the day is important. 

 

Once you've done these 4 things, then post about how you feel about them.

 

Please do not use exclamation marks. Try to write "softer". The goal is to create a more calming environment so that your intrusive thoughts are less troublesome. You are not dying. You've been to the ER and got checked out. DP/DR will not kill you. And intrusive thoughts are caused by withdrawal - best to ignore them and distract. Constantly obsessing over them gives them more power. Doing breathing exercises can help with head pressure and other painful symptoms. 

 

And definitely, eat something healthy to keep your blood sugar up. 

 

Maize, we can only do so much for you over an online forum. If you can't do these simple tasks, you may not be a good candidate for coming off your drug in an online forum environment. Please see this post on your ability to self-manage.

[maizeNblue81]

I am trying so hard and this is the exact reason I did not want to be put back on anymore drugs in the hospital!

 

I still don't understand why I'm having acute symptoms after 20 weeks off xanex or why they have gotten so much worse over the past few weeks?

 

When I talk about my symptoms I don't believe they are exaggerated it's real and the symptoms themselves and the worsening over the last few weeks is real and very scary.

 

I don't think the Zoloft is helping and messing with these doses going from pill to liquid it's all just screwed up and now my brain and these symptoms seem to be getting worse and not better that's why I ask if going back to the pill at either 100mg or just down to 75mg which are bother doses easier to manage would be the best way to somewhat stabilize again for now with everything getting worse?

 

I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a pain it's just been so bad for so long and I don't get much support on the ground especially from doctors as most of them have no clue of what I'm going through or even what to do other than through more drugs at me.

 

So I'm trying I've done everything I have been asked to do here including going to the store switching over to the liquid trying to do that as instructed but I'm worried these symptoms are out of control and horrible from the benzo WD and whatever the Zoloft is doing to my brain it's just all messed up.

[Shep]

I don't think the Zoloft is helping and messing with these doses going from pill to liquid it's all just screwed up and now my brain and these symptoms seem to be getting worse and not better that's why I ask if going back to the pill at either 100mg or just down to 75mg which are bother doses easier to manage would be the best way to somewhat stabilize again for now with everything getting worse?

 

 

 

Maize, you are only two days into both switching to liquid and making that slight updose to 90mg.

 

As Chessie mentioned in her previous post, it takes at least 4 days for your nervous system to even register this change and then it can take several more days or even several weeks for your nervous system to adjust to it.

 

The reinstatement thread goes into the 4 day concept:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 

 

The more changes you make, the more you are upsetting your nervous system, even causing a kindling effect. If you do make more changes, you will likely cause more problems. 

 

Limbic Kindling -- Hardwiring the brain for hypersensitivity

 

This is a playlist of withdrawal videos. Watch them when you're feeling uncertain that what you have is withdrawal. 

 

Antidepressant Withdrawal 

 

My advice would be to re-read your thread and take advantage of the information on non-drug coping skills that have been linked, targeting your specific symptoms. 

 

You are having acute symptoms after 20 weeks off Xanax because you have psychiatric drug withdrawal. It's that simple. The drugs changed your brain.

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

 

 

When I talk about my symptoms I don't believe they are exaggerated it's real and the symptoms themselves and the worsening over the last few weeks is real and very scary. 

 

 

Yes, your symptoms are real, but again, you are not dying.  The symptoms may indeed be worsening. This could be a benzo wave (not unusual at 4 months off) or it could be the Zoloft change.

 

There is no way to know and making arbitrary changes to your Zoloft now will just confuse your CNS. I would stay at the 90 mg dose for several weeks and give yourself time to adjust. It's going to be uncomfortable for awhile. 

 

The only suggestion I can offer is to keep your dose steady and to work on the non-drug coping skills. 

 

You suffered a cold turkey benzo withdrawal and now are looking at a long antidepressant taper. If you don't learn how to self-soothe with the non-drug coping skills, you will likely end up back on drugs. 

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so just an update on where I'm at. I am on day 4 of switching to the liquid using the method and instructions given as far as the 100ml bottle with a cap dissolving a 100mg tablet of Zoloft overnight utill next dose time and then pouring the liquid from the bottle into a clear glass measuring cup then stirring the liquid to make sure their is no remaining particles on the bottom and then measuring out 10ml with a 10ml syringe and drinking the rest then repeat for the next night.

 

I wondered wouldn't you be able to measure 10 10ml syringes from the 100ml? Is this the best way to get an accurate 90mg dose? How long should I stay at this dose to know what the next step is?

 

Update on my symptoms:

 

Of course the main symptoms still continue to be the head pressure and physical pain in my brain and the intrusive thoughts are quiet worrisome and those are the two main symptoms I have noticed and uptick in since 4 weeks ago when I started coming down on the Zoloft and their seems to be an uptick in both of those over the last few days so I'm not sure what to think or do at this point cause it does seem to be getting worse and not better.

[maizeNblue81]

As far as the other I do my best to keep myself busy throughout the day with house hold chores and watching movies on tv and playing quite games on my phone and so what ever I can to distract from the symptoms and doing everything I can to hold on and taking the recommended action concerning the Zoloft and I'm trying I'm really trying but it's extremely difficult and like I said things seem to be getting worse and no better so I don't know what else to do?

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize, I'm really glad to hear that you have figured out the liquid thing.  It will make your journey so much easier.  Stay on a stable dose for at least a month, and hopefully the accuracy of the liquid will help you stabilise.  Accuracy is diminished with each use of syringe, so it is maybe more accurate to withdraw 10% and drink the rest (rinse the jar and drink that, too).  That's one use of a syringe instead of 9 x 10ml.

 

As for what else to do - you've got 7 pages of suggestions from several moderators.

 

How about you consider them a syllabus, and go through, re-read your thread, and try things that have been suggested to you, and report back here.

 

Not just TV (TV and radio can be disruptive, especially when you are having dark thoughts) or video games - but something - to actually address your situation, your suffering.  Finding a place of pleasure, and then appreciating it - is a key to lasting the time it will take to recover.

 

Have you looked at the video of Fresh?  And realized she recovered?  What do you think about that?  Does it give you hope?  Or do you just dismiss it as "not your story?"

 

Have you tried Epsom Salts?

 

Have you tried the breathing pattern that Shep gave you?  Did it give you a moment of relief?  Were you able to concentrate on it for 5 minutes?  Could you get lost in those minutes, or was it really hard for you?

 

What about the Chi Gung for head pressure that I gave you? (these are just the recent ones I remember - I'm sure there are more)

 

These are all short, simple things - but - we'd like to hear that you're trying them.  We'd like to know if they are working - or not - and why.  If they are not working, we might have some other suggestions - and if they are working - we might be able to expand on them.  But as Shep said, it's important that we get feedback in order to provide more information.

 

By our research and your feedback, we can achieve truth, or a path forward for you.

 

Thank you for your gentle posts here, it's much easier to read these last two posts.

 

I hope you see the sun today.

[maizeNblue81]

Well every day is really hard for me and it is really one minute one hour one day at a time and it's just so hard to believe I'm still having these kinda symptoms especially the head pressure and physical pain in my head after 20 weeks off xanex.

 

It's really frustrating to see how much life has been taking away and how much I've missed out on and things I'd like to do now like work or go to the gym but having your body and mind not be able to function to where you can do it.

 

Would it help at all to go to the gym and lightly work out? Would that hurt me or make it worse or could I handle that knowing my symptoms and how bad they are?

 

What about work and a job? I haven't worked in over a year and have had to depend on others to get by and that's pretty frustrating too so I don't know what to do?

 

Will I ever get better? It's hard to believe I'll ever be normal again going this long and seeing no improvement and even having things get worse it's very discouraging to say the least.

[scallywag]

Maize, it's good to see you looking for steps forward.

 

Regarding exercise, light workouts could be worth trying. Be sure to leave 2-3 days between your first few visits to assess what happens after.

 

Working, what's available in terms of flexible part-time work where you live?  You may or may not be ready to take on something full-time. Another consideration, volunteeering 1-2 times/week could give you a good opportunity to test how you react (and how to effectively deal with the reaction) to the stimulation of other people, noise, interruptions and an environment not under your control.

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah I'm checking into the work thing to see what might be available and I know I could not handle anything like I'm used to full time mainly in a fast paced sales environment not ready for that at all.

 

It would have to be something like you said part time a few days a week and I'm not sure I can even handle that. Just not sure if my mind and body is ready for it mainly because the head pressure and physical pain in my head is still so bad it makes it hard to function at all and the days it's so bad I don't get much sleep it's worse.

 

As far as working out I'm used to hitting the gym pretty hard which being realistic I know I'm not anywhere near that but I've gained so much weight and I've got to do something instead of setting around here driving myself crazy and smoking myself to death.

 

It's so hard because I'm trying and I'm so tired of waiting but I've got to do something.

[maizeNblue81]

All of this would be easier but the main symptom that really weighs me down is the head pressure

[AliG]

Maize.  I think it could be good for you to do some light workouts at the gym. It will possibly help clear your mind and give you a focus apart from the constant thoughts of withdrawal and the pain you're going through.

 

If you decide to this - then take it easy and slowly to begin with as you build your strength and confidence. When you feel more confident you can take it a step further. You can increase it incrementally from that point on depending on how you're feeling. If it feels too much - then stop. Don't give up though - just temper it - as in listen to your body and adjust accordingly.

 

Please let us know how it goes.

 

Often, if you get more busy with life the W/D symptoms tend to recede in a speedier fashion. I think it's a great sign that you are thinking progressively and also to the future.

 

Well done.   

[maizeNblue81]

I'm trying to hold on andnhave hope that I will get better and it's hard with all I've been through and it truly is day to day and I still don't understand how things can be this bad after all this time but I keep hoping that it will get better but the longer it goes on it gets harder to do that.

 

I've just been thinking about what I can do or what I can control while I wait and things that maybe I can do while waiting.

 

I hope going to the gym and working out is something I can do and I would like to get some kind of job tonatleast have some source of income and something to occupy my time but I just don't know if my mind and body could handle it cause it's still so bad and such a struggle everyday.

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize - I agree with Ali and Scally (poetic!) that light workouts would be good.

 

Here's what helps me:  I go to the weight room, I do some light cardio to warm up.  Then, I don't make any heavy demands - but I make sure I work all my muscles.

 

The important part is not how heavy the weights are (actually, lighter is better for this) - but the slowness, and mindfulness of the lift.

 

Breathe in as you lift, breathe out as you lower.  Use the breath to improve the resistance, use a slow arc - the slower the better - to activate your muscles.  Form, accuracy, slowness, mindfulness, breath, all combine to make a very effective mood stabilizing workout.

 

Combining movement with breath helps switch on your sympathetic nervous system, is very soothing.

 

If I were you, I'd start with the workouts, and when you get up to 3 a week (without crashing) - then - consider volunteer work.  Maybe there's something you can do at a local church or charity - soup kitchen, preparing mailings,   One step at a time, so that you can gradually build up to working again.

 

Also - walking in the light of day (even in winter, even under clouds) is very mood stabilizing.  It helps to do this every day at the same time each day, but doing it at the "wrong time," is better than not doing it at all.  Make it a mindful exercise, feel your feet on the ground, the force of gravity in your movement, hear your breath, look at the birds and plants and trees.  Seeing green space (plants, and trees) is a natural antidepressant.

 

Also:  have you investigated:  Magnesium and Omega-3 fish oil  ?  If you can possibly take the fish oil, it is so beneficial.  Unless you eat oily fish 3x a week, it is pure brain food.  And magnesium deficiency is the #1 mineral deficiency in the USA today.  (hence, why I keep pushing Epsom Salts baths or foot soaks!).

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah even thinking about going to work or the gym seems like a daunting task to say the least and I've heard it said that the mind is willing but the body is weak but for me it's the other way around.

 

My body is willing but my mind is so messed it it's hard to function day to day much less anything else.

 

I wander at times if my brain will ever heal or if I will ever be the same again? I'm not sure but I know I can't keep living like this and something has to change.

 

I just thought that maybe finding light work and going to the gym might help a little and I'm not sure it's gonna work out but I have to try.

[ChessieCat]

"but I have to try"

 

And that is the main thing, trying.  You won't know until you try what you are able to do.

 

I was retrenched from a job that I loved and due to that and several other things which happened in my life around the same time I ended up having a mental breakdown, even though I was taking an antidepressant.  That was in the last half of 2011.

 

I lost a lot of confidence.  In one year I had 12 interviews for jobs but never managed to get the job.

 

So I started volunteering 1 day per week on a short term basis inputting data.  I wasn't able to make phone calls even though that had been part of my previous job.  After doing that for about 10 weeks I found another 1 day per week volunteer role making phone calls, using a script.  I was gradually gaining my confidence.  I then got a bit bored doing that and found another volunteer role which I did for a few months.  I did manage to get 1 day per week paid employment through an agency for 7 months.  However it was only because my daughter was offered the role and said that she wanted full time but that her mum might be interested.  And I was travelling 1hr 45mins on the train each way plus a 15min trip each way to the station to do it.

 

I've also done a few courses since I lost my job and 18 months ago I started another volunteer role, again 1 day per week.  I have since increased that to 2 days (not long after I started they began paying me for some of the hours I work) as well as starting 1 day a week with another not for profit organisation.  I have now been doing 3 days per week for 1 year and really enjoy it.  My confidence has grown and I feel valued and feel like I have a purpose.

 

It wasn't easy, and it took time and effort.  I'm still struggling at times, especially on the days that I'm not working, but instead of having bad and worse days I am having better and not so good days.  And occasionally I don't feel like going to work, especially after having 4 days in a row at home, but I make the effort and usually find I feel better when I do.

 

If I hadn't tried I wouldn't have gained as much as I have.