Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

bhasski: Damaged all over ... physically , mentally and spiritually


bhasski

Recommended Posts

MammaP,

I am sorry to hurt you or anybody but I need someone who is aware to talk to. My family is big , daily s1 come and go , my parents ask me the questions what do i think to do now , my interests while nothing I feel but anger. Same goes with friends. Some of whom I helped with academics most of the time, come and say that I am losing the will. Those big knowledgeable words.

I am unable to listen even if I try to. It hurts more.

 

 

If I tell them only time can heal ... but how much time ? What is the credibility of people I am talking to ? I m left with no answers.

 

I just know what doctors did was bad, not to prescribe medicines was not that bad but to ignore what I was saying to them.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

We are all aware Bhasski and we all understand how you are feeling. Unfortunately most people do not understand unless they have felt the same way. They can't tolerate people talking about withdrawal because they cannot do anything to help and it distresses them. They want us to see doctors thinking that they should be able to give us some pills to make it better, and don't realise that more drugs can make us much worse. We have to take care of ourselves and support each other here. Getting through each day by finding something that makes us feel happy is very important. The more happy thoughts we can find the faster we will get better. This is a proven scientific fact , the brain reacts to positive stimuli and produces hormones that make us feel better. 

 

You will get better, we all will, and have to help ourselves to get there. We are all with you. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

mammaP, you are a balm each day.  Thank you.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to comment

I understand what you going through to forget all these everyday things bring on horrific anxiety but I promise these things do get better and only time can heal . When I was in bad withdrawal I had all these symptoms. Some days are very hard but try stay calm .

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I still forget things. My head always burn with negative  thoughts of anger ... mistakes of mine and other... nothing feels good. 

Recently there are some serious property and finance issues popped up while I feel unable to handle those. I still cannot talk to people and cannot feel my words itself.

 

Also I joined a morning gym to get tired but its not helped yet. I find it very difficult to wake up and go due to sleep issues.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Physical symptoms. :

One major symptom which I am suffering from left side body uneasiness. Left leg is restless at nights, left hand gone ulnar neuropathy, heart area seems uneasy, left eye is too weak.. 

While right side seems to be have better ease comparitvely.

 

Resltess left leg doesn't allow to sleep.

 

Also shoulders  and neck muscles are stiff and cause pain and discomfort.

 

Emotional :

Cannot feel pleasure . Irritation .. anger.. memory.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Hi,

Can anybody tell me about successful recovery from drug induced restless legs?

It doesn't allow me to sleep and it happens almost daily that I could sleep after 4am coz of this.

 

I didn't had this before drugs but now off everything for more than 16 mos , i don't want to go back on them. It took me this much time to feel a little okay... 

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Where are all the moderators ?

Can somebody tell me sth natural to relax legs esp. left leg ... so that I can rest atleast ?

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Have you tried searching the site using the local search tool?  Have you tried using a web search engine? Use these search terms for google

"restless leg syndrome" and "site:survivingantidepressants.org"

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

Link to comment

Hi bhasski

Have you tried heat massage and cold massage on leg.Drinking big glass of warm milk before going to bed reduces leg pain and helps to sleep too.

If you check success stories ,it took more than 4 years any one fully recovered.I guess you too will recover fully with the time.

Sleep is necessary for day time function.If sleep is there we can face any other symptoms.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

@scallywag

Thanks.

I have searched over the forum. There is sth on quinine tonic and some links... 

But couldn't decide what to start with. For past 2 weeks the sleep is much disturbing.

I have started taking mucuna for rls that I had bought earlier but couldn't take due to severe sensitivity. I will report if sth goes better.

 

 

@rupa

I have seen the stories and thats the backbone giving me courage to stay even after CTed.  I agree sleep needs to be corrected, but i mostly lose to it and some days are worse, i feel it unbearable.

I had massages but not having for now. Also i take milk daily as habit but it has lost its sedative power .. ?

 

Anyways how r u doing nowadays... hope  it gets better for u.

 

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Bhasski

You are very brave.

I am functioning normal as I am getting sleep with low dose olanzapine.

Thank you for asking.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Here's what I found when I searched for quinine:

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

Link to comment

RIP Chester Bennington (lead singer, Linkin Park)

 

I am afraid that they have one more reason to push medicines unreasonably.

 

All in the media, head shrinks and their heads talking. Media houses , TOI n HT writing as they fairly believe what is told.

 

But they never talk that meds could also cause it.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
Added additional info

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Hi everybody,

I have very stiff neck and stretching pain at back of neck and shoulders along with fatigue.

 

 

Anybody who is facing same issues and have gone better pleas reply.. 

 

A surgeon who operated me for ulnar neuropathy gave me nortryptline 10mg/ pregabalin 75mg. I took it once believing him and the next morning i woke up pain free and relaxed.

From that day, i know its sth hormonal damage caused by ssris ans APs. I never took nortryptline again knowing its a atypical AD.

 

Please gimme sm solution to relieve pain.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Here's an SA topic:  Non-drug techniques for dealing with physical pain

 

And this one too:  migraines-headaches-neck-ache-pain-and-head-pressure (use Search at the top right of page and type in neck)

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

Dear bhasski

Use myolaxin ointment

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

Thanks rupa.

 

For past two days I am dread angry. Today afternoon I broke TV remote only to make my mother shut who was forcing me to go attend shop as I started and I was mad at my dad for some shop issues. I was literally shouting and shivering in anger and asking my mom to stop . It ended up throwing and breaking TV remote.

 

This is what is happening in anger... its.like I am boiling .. i cannot make arguments .. just shout.

 

 

My father chose to ignore what I say coz he did not seem concern or take action .. I told them a lot of time my disablitity to take actions in hand now and I m mad not going on my shop.

 

Other reason is that I feel stressful talking and my memory fails big time.

 

Edited by bhasski
More additional

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Dear bhasski,

I am very concerned of you.

What if you reinstate 5 m.g olanzapine to get controlled emotions and get good sleep.

Once you get stabilized as long as you needed,

You always have a choice to tapper from there slowly.

You are punishing yourself which is not good and may lead you to more severe problems.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

Thanks a lot.

I agree me being harsh on myself but I had carried it too long to go without allopathic medicines. 

What I see my new diseases given me as a part of those western medicines.

 

 

I am seeing a Ayurvedic doctor.  Its been a week and have taken 15 days of prescription. Still have not seen any benefits, but he has claimed big and charged a lot. May be I got conned again or not. 

 

I am trying to keep the option of Western meds closed as much as I can.

Wish me luck in this approach.

 

Anyways how u doing ?

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

I was a person who ruminates on the incidents which happened right from the childhood.

I was a person of immense anger on few near and dear [mummy etc]for the unkind things they have done for themselves ,which affected my life.

I never forgave anyone f or not providing me proper care.

My brain had to bear so much.

That may be the reason ,I fell into paranoid thoughts while using Internet.

I was feared and unable to control my brain.

That is when I had to see the doctor.

He made me use risperidone but not warned me about CT and withdrawal effects.

My brain permanently damaged and I lost my sleep and developed REM sleep condition. 

After experiencing immense fear of medicines,Now I am settled with olanzapine 5m.g

Now I have forgiven near and dear.

I am actually meeting them and being with them in special occasions.

There is no sign of anger in me.

I am dealing with situations very wisely ,in a peaceful,positive way.

I am watching movies and listening to songs.

I am making friends , conversating with them,smiling and laughing.

No sign of rumination over past.

I am  getting very thin,ineffective dreams early in the morning and getting peaceful sleep.

If my brain heals with time,if dreams disappear,that is when I will start tapering olanzapine.

Thank you for asking.

I do not like you depending on luck,and not caring yourself in proper way.

ayurveda is for normal people.It is not for the people like us who suffered with allopathy.

anyways please take good care of yourself.

Life is to live peacefully.

 

 

 

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

@rupa

You sounded your earlier version like my present. I ruminate over issues and its difficult for me to forgive but its all exagerated after stopping meds. There was a time when I was going smooth.

I ruminate for short but learnt to let go.

 

I have taken olanzapine and beared various side effects earlier like weight gain .. in much abnormal sense .. definitely people started commenting.

 

It raises female hormones like Progesterone , so created weird issues for me as a male. Thats one more reason I stay away from it though I never how it will effect me now.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Also I dont know how long I can give myself for these alternate treatments.. 

 

I wish that this time Ayurveda work ...

Patanjali, haridwar  also did help me that it let me out of my bed and lessened physical issues .. but financially it was out for me as I had spent my all job savings on different futile so called therapies.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

bhasski

how much m.g of olanzapine you have used?

This site is recommending very low dose for reinstatement.

I guess,I am at low dose of olanzapine now,that is why it is working me without any side effects.

Also my psychiatrist gave me ,very low dose of pacitane which stops the side effects of olanzapine.

Which city in north India are you  living in?

I dont why your doctors prescribed you so many medicines.

 

 

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

Hi rupa,

I had taken pacitane too (2mg) 10 years back for writers cramp. It was a high euphoric time for me. 

I certainly remembered that pacitane made me happy.. excited .. but i stopped as I had nothing for my writing issue. It was Pune then.  I crashed after stopping it. I was naive and didn't know then what caused it. 

I live in Bharatpur right now .. Its a small town now . But I had taken most meds in Mumbai while working.  I had taken trust on doctor there coz seemingly  he was aged .. doing private practice and senior consultant to hospitals, speaker and head of NGO. But he did cause me  a havoc .  You never know of doctors and they have escape of everything.

 

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Yes bhasski

You are living in Rajasthan,what a beautiful state that you are living in.You are surrounded by beautiful forts and temples.I visited patanjali ,haridwar two years back as a pleasure trip.Do you know about Gayatri teerth shanti kunj of haridwar.They say at shanti kunj stay is free.Why dont you go shanti kunj type of places in India and live some time there to heal yourself.

 

I feel so much grief about the doctor who prescribed risperidone and didn't warn me not to stop CT.

How can a doctor so irresponsible about these kind of drugs.

But again my present doctor,who has understood the situation and saved me from coping with permanent brain damage.If he wont reinstate with low dose of olanzapine,god only knows how I would have survive with sleeplessness and dangerous dreams,left brain pain,breath stopping etc.

 

 

 

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

Link to comment

Have been to Gayatri ShaniKunj on the trip. Then I stayed at Patanjali Yoggram. I was suffering  and still now also don't find peace añd feelings.

Yoggram was a natural scenic but I consciously felt missing the pleasure.

 

I missed those feelings which come with cool breezes of monsoon .. rain .. spring .. morning sunshine .. If I say it comprises of unnoticeable pleasures that keep anyone going.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Hi bhasski thought ide come to your thread and say hello .

ye these thoughts are horrible and the meds do twist our thinking ,the last year of them has turned me into a horrible demon ,like being posesed by the devil .some friends that know me 20 years are turning there back on me [but sod them i suppose ].

we need to actively find laughter and maybe watch the news less because i worry in withdrawl our brains are left open to being reprogrammed in a way to seek out horrible negativity .neuroplasticity in reverse so please be careful .I'm going to find some comedy soon myself .

Take care and oh i see you were on the devil venlafaxine also :angry:.

peace

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to comment
8 hours ago, powerback said:

Hi bhasski thought ide come to your thread and say hello .

ye these thoughts are horrible and the meds do twist our thinking ,the last year of them has turned me into a horrible demon ,like being posesed by the devil .some friends that know me 20 years are turning there back on me [but sod them i suppose ].

we need to actively find laughter and maybe watch the news less because i worry in withdrawl our brains are left open to being reprogrammed in a way to seek out horrible negativity .neuroplasticity in reverse so please be careful .I'm going to find some comedy soon myself .

Take care and oh i see you were on the devil venlafaxine also :angry:.

peace

PB

Thanks for posting.

Yes, I feel like possessed by bad thinking. Its like demons inside me. While I never believed such things earlier... but now there is a thought i try not to entertain.

 

 Laugher is miles away for me, when people laugh around, i don't get a gist... Instead the irritation of not laughing build up...

 

Waking up with such ruminants is more frustrating.. Each night I think .. it will be a next refreshing day... I will be better... But time moves and i remain still.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
1 hour ago, bhasski said:

Thanks for posting.

Yes, I feel like possessed by bad thinking. Its like demons inside me. While I never believed such things earlier... but now there is a thought i try not to entertain.

 

 Laugher is miles away for me, when people laugh around, i don't get a gist... Instead the irritation of not laughing build up...

 

Waking up with such ruminants is more frustrating.. Each night I think .. it will be a next refreshing day... I will be better... But time moves and i remain still.

Its horrible im exactly the same ,what in the world is it About these drugs that make the negativity into an actual character trait .

SJ said something interesting the other week about the neuro feelings and emtions ,its never nuero positive or happy emotions .

Im only geting a few hours without rumminations a week ,this is ridiculous .

But my quest to get better and show them dam ignorant doctors wrong  only grows so thats something .

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to comment

Beloved friends our condition is rarely seen therefore nobody understands us. Some of my friends are supportive but most forgot about me.

How can a healthy person get neuropathy. How can a healthy person feel needles in spine and arms.  We must have taken illicit medications and hiding it.

Please read below.

http://www.thepillthatsteals.com/useful-information/

  • July 2016: prescribed 25mg Zoloft, diagnosed with MDD. Developed severe reaction and taken to ER.. CSeroquel when not able to sleep, very small dose (12.5mg) but causing headache and dry mouth the next two three days, 

  • July - December 2016: 25+ 25mg, constantly in pain, had to go to ER once, 

  • January 2017: Still believing the doctors and thinking the meds are helpful, increased the dose to 75mg, had to go to ER three times, after drinking water non-stop.  

  • Realised that these meds are actually toxins and are very harmful. Looking for experts in the field, going to doctors

  • February - May 2017: 50mg, severe withdrawal symptoms, severe burning pain in chest, lower back, Seroquel only 12.5mg but not helping. Slowly developing OCD, as the headaches and heat flash can hit any time.

  • found SA site and started reading day and night

  • May-September 2017: 25mg, drinking lots of water, having great pain, not able to function, ER visits because of arythmia, hot flashes

  • October 2017: started tapering and feeling better, but the symptoms are there. 

  • Supplements: None so far, 

 

Treatment Outline.docx

July 23-30th, 2017.xlsx

Link to comment
39 minutes ago, virgo43 said:

Beloved friends our condition is rarely seen therefore nobody understands us. Some of my friends are supportive but most forgot about me.

How can a healthy person get neuropathy. How can a healthy person feel needles in spine and arms.  We must have taken illicit medications and hiding it.

Please read below.

http://www.thepillthatsteals.com/useful-information/

exactly virgo but its more ignored and dumbed down and buried from what I see but nothing will change until we stop going near medical doctors ,the only future is holistic and nutritional .if people are coming to this site for help in withdrawing from drugs and then in the future going back on them something is wrong .there needs to be  a massive approach taken to recovery and god only knows the damage these chemicals do to the brain .

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

There is a very important survey on drug WD at the moment. We might finally get some acknowledgement for all the suffering these drugs caused us.

 

Adding your experience would be very valuable. It only takes a few minutes. They extended it because they got so many replies after Alto mobilised our members here but the more people join, the more powerful we are.

 

I even invited my friends who are not on the forum and some of them were not even aware that what was happening to them was a WD... Every vote counts.

 

https://roehamptonpsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6gSHZN88sOmHDlr

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment

@bubble

Is it the same survey? If it is,

I had completed it  more than a week ago.

I also want people and agencies to be aware about the damaged they had done and doing to innocents.

Moreover, I like doctors to feel the guilt for they are acting like puppets of ego and big pharma

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

It is the same. The deadline got extended because so many of us took it. It is very hard to influence doctors.

 

They are also human and they believed they were doing their patients good as Pharma persuaded them. It will be very painful blow for their personal and professional arrogance to see the things for what they are...

 

Wishing you continued healing and recovery.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment

Thanks @bubble. I wish you same and hope we all heal and recover very soon. Its been a 2 year torture which is  still going on and the set back it has given is immense. I still dont know how to see it positively as people here say.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy