Jump to content

If you find useful information here, your gift would help keep this site going. Our staff is entirely volunteer.

Photo
- - - - -

Please help I have so much hate inside of me!


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 18 January 2017 - 08:55 PM

I'm almost certain it was drug induced and that the drug poisons played a role in this-sometimes I have a tremendous amount of hate in me and I'm not sure what to do about it. I use to view the world and my country in a fairly positive manner. Now, regarding in particular America, I have come to essentially hate it with a passion!!! Mind you, not everything about it but so much of it.

Everything is about race, gender, sexuality, age, etc. (you name it) It never ends as if America is still in the 50's or something!!! It is driving me INSANE and I'm not joking here. This is all I heard about for over a decade now!! It's one thing if someone or group says or does something racist sexist or homophobic but to constantly obsess about it is enough to make a sane person crazy!!I'm neither liberal or conservative and have come to hate both parties and what they stand for: either race/gender baiting "identity politics" liberals or greedy ultra wealthy capitalist silver spoons conservatives!! I have became extremely paranoid and most the time antisocial much of this due to the fact that I cannot seem to trust anyone!!! I really could use some advice thanks so much!
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#2 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 19 January 2017 - 02:49 PM

I take back most of what I wrote as I do not hate America. It is simply that if we could come together as a nation instead of being so divided at times!! Uniting instead of dividing.
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#3 Mort81

Mort81

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 790 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 19 January 2017 - 05:34 PM

It's very understandable and I can relate. I completely avoid social media and the news as it's 90% negative and not trustworthy to me, especially the major US networks. Since WD I have found myself getting extra mad at the current issues when I pay attention. I also hate both parties and think they are more like organized Gangs. This whole system is rigged for the Elite. After an experience like what we have gone through with the black hole of health care I couldn't trust anyone in Power again no Matter what. My best advice and what's worked for me is to do your best although hard to avoid the topics all together. Focus on how good you feel now and alternative things. Because the more your eyes are open the more you begin to see how much is wrong with the world. A small % is good and means well and that's what we have to focus on.
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#4 Mort81

Mort81

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 790 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 19 January 2017 - 05:40 PM

And Beleive me easier said than done it's so hard to avoid because it's everywhere!
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#5 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 19 January 2017 - 07:49 PM

It's very understandable and I can relate. I completely avoid social media and the news as it's 90% negative and not trustworthy to me, especially the major US networks. Since WD I have found myself getting extra mad at the current issues when I pay attention. I also hate both parties and think they are more like organized Gangs. This whole system is rigged for the Elite. After an experience like what we have gone through with the black hole of health care I couldn't trust anyone in Power again no Matter what. My best advice and what's worked for me is to do your best although hard to avoid the topics all together. Focus on how good you feel now and alternative things. Because the more your eyes are open the more you begin to see how much is wrong with the world. A small % is good and means well and that's what we have to focus on.

Thanks so much for the advice Mort, really appreciate it!! I'm going to follow your lead and make it my New Years resolution to just about avoid all media entirely-especially internet news sites, political channels, and newspapers. A few months ago I traveled to Minnesota to visit a friend and stayed for about 3 weeks. And each morning I would read the major newspaper there in Minneapolis.

I kid you not about 60-75% of it was always focused on something about race gender sexuality etc. in the most important sections of the paper. And rarely was it about someone saying or doing something racist sexist or homophobic. Rarely! Nor rarely about any proven case of discrimination! It just makes you believe that the elites in America are doing all this on purpose simply to divide poeple or make them go crazy so that all the money and power keeps staying in the top 1%. Also that liberal news outlets have nothing better to focus on these days. And again I'm not even remotely conservative saying all this.
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#6 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 19 January 2017 - 07:53 PM

I've had just about enough of it and would move out of the country in a heartbeat. But like you said there's good and bad people everywhere but the problem is with all of the divisions it makes you wonder who the hell you can possibly trust these days. Thankfully we have supportive message boards such as this one!!
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#7 Mort81

Mort81

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 790 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 20 January 2017 - 05:02 PM

Ya i don't doubt that for a second! It's like a race war is being pushed . Its tough to live in a bubble but I've found it's best for me. Too much anger like you said. Np it's a tough thing to avoid it takes alot of effort. But it can be done . Than maybe in the future you and I won't be as fired up about world politics as we are now and it will easier to expose oursleves to the nonsense.
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#8 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 21 January 2017 - 10:33 AM

Ya i don't doubt that for a second! It's like a race war is being pushed . Its tough to live in a bubble but I've found it's best for me. Too much anger like you said. Np it's a tough thing to avoid it takes alot of effort. But it can be done . Than maybe in the future you and I won't be as fired up about world politics as we are now and it will easier to expose oursleves to the nonsense.


I like your wise outlook and mindset Mort!! You've got a good head on your shoulders. This will most definitely help you beat your withdrawal symptoms and fully recover from the trauma of protracted withdrawal!!
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#9 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 21 January 2017 - 10:34 AM

I've never met you but from what I can tell if anyone deserves a full recover as soon as possible it's you man.
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.

#10 Mort81

Mort81

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 790 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 21 January 2017 - 09:29 PM

Thanks buddy really appreciate it :)
Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#11 Jayjohnny

Jayjohnny

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 94 posts
  • LocationIowa

Posted 25 January 2017 - 08:20 PM

You're welcome!
2005: Began switching from one ssri to the next. Very little tapering time was instructed by my psychiatrist. Tried just about every drug on the market. Some two or three times. Nothing reallly helped my moderate depression and anxiety. They only made things worse most of the time!!
2014: Began experiencing severe symptoms while still taking Zoloft, oddly enough. Was forced to quit drugs altogether.
2017: A new year begins having experienced substantial improvement. Still not sure if my symptoms were severe protracted withdrawal or a severe reaction to a med, or possibly a combination of each.