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Dawood: Hoping to save my marriage by spouse tapering off Pristiq

desvenlafaxine Pristiq spouse

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#1 Dawood

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 04:04 PM

Hi to all,
 
Posted in the "Marriages Destroyed by SSRI SNRI" thread in more detail...
 
Basically I stumbled across this forum after 18 months of increasing changes in our relationship dynamic, culminating in my wife wanting to separate/divorce me over the last few months. We have been married 12 years and have 2 energetic boys aged 3 1/2 and 2. I have reluctantly moved out of our family home due to her demands, and hate every minute of it.
 
Since she went on Pristiq (50 mg) around 6 months ago, the following has happened:
 
- I don't love you anymore / I've not loved you for years / I've never loved you
- We're more like flatmates / brother and sister than lovers and partners
- I need space to find myself and be free
- We don't have anything in common
- I want to separate / divorce
- She 'developed a crush' / or actually cheated on me with a male friend she was helping train as a personal trainer (evidence suggests it may have been more than just a crush)
- Osscilations between wanting to separate and not for utilitarian reasons (not feelings)
- Seeing me completely break down in front of her and our children, and literally feeling nothing, nor react at all
- She has gone from wearing her heart on her sleeve to being absolutely flat and uncaring towards me, often times being really derisive and rude/argumentative, which is extremely out of character
 
Even prior to that, there was definitely emotional blunting taking place on the Eleva (100 mg) she was taking for the year before the Pristiq.
 
I have somehow convinced her that she should consider the medication as being a factor, and she mentioned wanting to come off them anyway. She has started tapering her dose in order to be completely off them over the next few months.
 
Yeah, so that's why I am here, and am hoping to learn from you all and your experiences. Some of you guys seem really knowledgeable.

I wish you all the very best!
 
Dawood

Edited by scallywag, 04 March 2017 - 03:30 PM.
tags

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#2 Dawood

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Posted 31 January 2017 - 04:34 PM

Here is my more detailed original post in case anyone is interested:

 

Hi to all,

 
First post here as a new member. Thank goodness for the internet and all-seeing power of Google which brought me here! I finally feel like I am not imagining things and am not alone in having these medications almost end a decade plus long marriage, while I witness how they have changed my wife. It is currently severely on the rocks, no matter what I try to do.
 
Just reading your comments, the support given and experiences has already made me feel so much stronger and convinced of what is happening.
 
An overview of my situation - sorry for the length but thought it best to be specific:
 
We have been married over 12 years now, and have 2 boys aged 3 1/2 and 2. We knew each other long-distance for about 5 years prior to marriage, and spoke every day multiple times. My wife is from a background of childhood trauma (domestic violence and emotional abuse) but only (finally!) went to a counsellor after our second child was born. She suffered Postnatal depression after the first, but I was working from home so helped her a lot with that by essentially being the primary carer of the baby for an extended period. With the second, I was working full-time away from home so not around as much though provided primary care oround work. She had severe PND with the second, so went to counselling. They placed her on medication for the first time ever: 100 mg of Eleva (Zolof), which she was on for about a year, but was very lethargic from it. She has always been a fitness fanatic, so they changed her to 50 mg of Pristiq (Effexor) 6 months ago as it did not have the same lethargic effect. It allowed her to get back into her training, which we both thought was great.
 
Well, since that approximate 6 month period, the following has happened:
 
- I don't love you anymore / I've not loved you for years / I've never loved you
- We're more like flatmates / brother and sister than lovers and partners
- I need space to find myself and be free
- We don't have anything in common
- I want to separate / divorce
- She 'developed a crush' / or actually cheated on me with a male friend she was helping train as a personal trainer (evidence suggests it may have been more than just a crush)
- Osscilations between wanting to separate and not for utilitarian reasons (not feelings)
- Seeing me completely break down in front of her and our children, and literally feeling nothing, nor react at all
- She has gone from wearing her heart on her sleeve to being absolutely flat and uncaring towards me, often times being really derisive and rude/argumentative
 
Even prior to that, there was definitely emotional blunting taking place on the Eleva.
 
Just to give some background: Both of us had to struggle for many years for her family to accept her choice to get to know and marry me, and even after our marriage faced a lot of family stigma which we hard to work past together. It was a conscious decision and uphill battle from both of us to make a go of things and build a life together, which we were finally getting happy with. We bought a house a year before our first son came along, and decided we wanted another child.
 
Everyone who has known us in the last 12 years considered us a great match ('perfect for each other') and so on, and a really strong, stable couple. Yes, we had arguments and issues flared from time to time as they do in marriage (and especially when someone has unresolved childhood trauma), but by and large, we were inseperable from each other. I've done nothing but completely support my wife in any and all aspects of her life, e.g. when she decided that she no longer liked her job and wanted to change career to her childhood dream. This entailed an almost 50% wage cut, but we worked hard to allow her to succeed in this.
 
Now, just to give some other information: she did admit to cheating on me once way back in 2008, but was extremely remorseful, devastated and shocked by her action. Basically, from what I can tell, she had been played by a seasoned player, who took advantage of her naivity (she is from a very socially conservative family) and her need for validation (self esteem issues due to emotional abuse growing up). She is from a religious family, so it is completely out of character and something she knows is morally wrong.
 
However, this time, I noticed her behaviour change suddenly around 5 months ago and immediately called her out on it. How she dressed, spending an inordinate amount of time on her phone, going out a lot more 'with her sister' than usual, and so on. I asked her flat out 'Are you cheating on me?' (as I said I would after last time), and her immediate response was 'I think we need to separate.' That was in late October. She had absolutely no feelings at all regarding the situation, and definitely no remorse or empathy as to what I was going through. She went back to watching Netflix whilst I was numb, in shock, and then had a breakdown.
 
A little while after that, she told me that her counsellor was telling her that she needed 'space' to rediscover herself and find out who she is now, and so on.
 
By December, we had agreed to take the week off work before Christmas to spend together fully as both kids were in childcare. We had planned a number of activities during that time. But on the 19th, the first day of our leave, I dropped the kids off and rushed home to prepare to for our trip out. As soon as I had walked in the door, she sat me down and said 'Listen, we need to talk. You need to move out as we are separating.' Cold as ice. No empathy or understanding, or emotional investment.
 
I spent that week looking for apartments, and moved out on December 28. That night - the first night I have slept on my own without at least my eldest son beside me co-sleeping in 3 years - was like being in solitary confinement, or hell. The next day I was also on my own, and had a complete breakdown, panic attack etc. She called me on the phone when I said I was having a breakdown and asked me to come over. But there was no empathy or understanding at all. Just cold, and she knew that seeing the kids would help me.
 
She and our boys spent New Year's Eve at my apartment as you could see the fireworks from there, but besides that was cold as ice towards me still.
 
A marriage counsellor suggested that she could still have 'space' whilst we lived together in the same house, so I am now in the process of moving back in, as I've been spending most of my time there anyway with the kids.
 
She has moments where she says things, e.g. 'I've always said you're such a great father' and so on, but she does not want any physical contact at all, nor any 'imtimacy'. In her mind you can still have sex without being intimate in any way. And it seems completely reasonable to her.
 
It's a very convoluted and difficult situation, but since reading the accounts of you all, it has given me hope.
 
I have broached the subject with her and she has told me that she wants to come off the medication anyway, so discussed with her prescribing psych and is going through a weaning process starting this week.
 
I am really hopefuly that there will be some noticeable change in a few months from now, and that it has not been a permanent change. She is willing to 'try' it, but is not entirely convinced that it's the medication that is the cause of her change of feelings; this is even though so many of the narratives I shared with her mirror ours so closely.
 
Apologies once again for the length of my (first ever) post, but I just wanted to say thank you to you all again and wish you all the very best.
 
Dawood

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#3 scallywag

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 08:41 PM

Dawood, thanks for posting an introduction.
 
Most of us have trusted our doctors' advice about how to come off these medications.  It is important for your wife to get fully informed about what's involved. Here are a few starting topics:
Before you begin tapering -- what you need to know.
Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.
What is withdrawal syndrome.
 
And because Pristiq can be a tricky one to discontinue, the first post in this topic may be instructive:
Tips for tapering off Pristiq (desvenlafaxine)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15;
Current dose: 5.1 mg (47 beads) 2017-Mar-25
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#4 ChessieCat

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 11:07 PM

Hi Dawood,

 

Just popping in to say hello, and let you know that it is possible to taper Pristiq.

 

In Australia we aren't able to get 25mg but it is possible to get the tablets compounded with a slow release formula.  There are a couple of links in my signature that you may wish to check out.  If you do go the compounding route, make sure that you get quotes because some of them charge like wounded bulls.  If you need any more info please don't hesitate to ask. 


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#5 Dawood

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 01:30 AM

Many thanks for your responses, they are much appreciated.

Unfortunately our finances are extremely limited, so hopefully the compounding (if we need to go there) will not be too costly.

My main confusion right now is that whilst she's completely disinterested in me, has had a fling, and wants to show her athletic figure off to the world etc, she still shows affection to our 2 boys and says how much she loves them. Hates motherhood (i.e. the chores and parenting, cleaning poo etc.), but loves them. Even though I end up being primary carermost of the time and they favour me.

Is it possible for the emotional blunting to be more specific like this? I'm so confused.

Dawood

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#6 ChessieCat

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 01:52 AM

It may be that she has all round emotional blunting but that the children are like a security blanket to her.  It may also be that the natural maternal instinct is so strong that it is able to break through, if only partially.

 

I didn't realise how numb I had been feeling until my dose got lower.  Everything was such an effort.  Even thinking was hard work, and talking even harder.  I hadn't been able to laugh, and I had always been somebody who laughs out loud a lot. In fact over throughout my life I have had several people from different areas of my life call me Bubbles because of my nature.  I wasn't able to get excited and look forward to things.

 

It wasn't until I started laughing out loud again that I realised that I hadn't been laughing.  Now I'm able to laugh and enjoy and look forward things more than I have for a long time.

 

I'm feeling more like my old self than I have for a long while.  I've also realised that I will probably always suffer from bouts of depression (which I did whilst on the drug anyway) but I have decided that I will use non drug techniques to get through them because having a numb mind has made me miss out on a lot of my life and life has ups and downs anyway.     


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#7 Dawood

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 03:29 AM

Thanks again for that detailed response!

I'm so amazed that you've come through to the other side and can now reflect on it.

To be honest, I'm scared that she maybe *does* just not like me / has fallen out of love with me after 12 years. It seems so convincing and strong - if not for her becoming uncharacteristically cold and 'bitchy' towards me, with *zero* empathy at all, I wouldn't have even thought twice.

I literally broke down in front of her and our two toddlers when she sais she wanted to separate, crying my heart out, with palpations, and she gave me a hug like you give your football teammate when losing a match, before turning on Netflix and zoning out.

It's the hardest thing to deal with, especially when the focus is on all the little things wrong with me/us etc.

Thanks again for your response - it means a lot to me!

Dawood

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#8 AliG

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 04:18 AM

Dawood. I agree with Chessie. During this time we all can become " blunted " and most of us have experienced this at some point , as it is so common in withdrawal. In essence it can be like a " chemical lobotomy " and acting " out of character " can become the norm.

 

There are so many factors at play here that it can become extremely hard to know what is happening at any particular point in time.

 

Is there any way your wife could carry on her thread from here ? If she could it would be helpful . If she could fill out her signature that would be great. It appears below each of her posts and then we can see her drug history at a glance. 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

Is she interested in becoming informed of the withdrawal / tapering process ?

 

If she's not at this point - you can still do the research . You could look up Robert Whittaker's " Anatomy Of An Epidemic ".  There are You - Tube videos if you don't have the book.

Also Dr Peter Breggin .He has a series of You - tube videos that also help to explain the process.

 

If you know what's involved then you can help with some insight.

 

Sometimes , husbands / partners can be at a loss as to how to help but with some extra information it can become clearer and a little less overwhelming.

 

Support through this is so important.


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#9 powerback

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 05:36 AM

Hi dawood sorry for your troubles,from my experience it's very complex my own girlfriend has had to put up with alot from me ,I can get in terrible humours and I'm paranoid and I feel guilty, I'm too tired to do anything it's tough at times but I try to communicate as best I can.

By reading your post the drugs have to be a factor I think,in my own case I drank like a fish on the first 2 years of my drugs ,it's only in the 2 years im off alcohol now, I realise it made me extremely impulsive and I was partaking in some risky behaviour .i liked a drink before on drugs but the drugs made me drink much more .

My advice is try not to take her actions of coldness or anything like that personaly,and b patient with yourself in trying to take in any new information.
This site will have a lot of great help and research .
Take care

21​/06/2012 citrol10mg for stress, constant urination ,diazepam 2mg 26/07/2012 .12/07/2012 citroll 20mg,

​24/09/2013 Lexapro 20mg.didnt take them for a week during this year felt extremely strange ,had no idea down to drugs at the time .

​20/10/2014 venlafaxine xl 75mg.09/01/2015 venlafaxine xl 37.5. questioned doctor about drop in dose ,I was told no problem.

​13/04/2015 venlafaxine xl 150mg NEVER TOOK THEM getting wise?.20/04/2015 venlafaxine xl 75mg.19/08/2015 Xanax 250mcg [agitated]

​10/06/2015 venlafaxine 37.5mg.02/03/2016 five beads out for taper only lasted till 06/06/2016 extreme irritability and anxiety. 

​11/11/2016 Xanax 250mcg took them for few days ,fairly distressing time [working nearly impossible].11/11/2016 I was given a prescription for  Zyprexa 2.5mg AND DECIDED  NOT TO GET IT FROM CHEMIST.[my doctor gave them a great sales pitch ,talking about other patients that have benefited ,in witch it just annoyed me ]


#10 ChessieCat

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 01:16 PM

Your Drug May Be Your Problem is an excellent book.  Chapter 3 in particular, titled Your Drug May Be Your Problem - But You May Be the Last to Know.

 

My daughter is taking Zoloft and I have noticed a big change in her over the last couple of years.  When I read this chapter it made me realise that she isn't aware of how she has changed.  I have provided her with the information but so far she just doesn't want to listen.  I'm just trying to be patient and hope that when she does realise that she will ask me for help.


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#11 Dawood

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 02:13 PM

Hi all, thank you so much for your replies.

 

Unfortunately, my wife has not come to the table as yet, but I am hoping that she may do so in the future. Right now she seems to want to be off her medication for her own reasons, but does not seem to truly believe that the medication can be having this effect. This even though she has remarked that the stories are so similar to what we have gone and are going through.

 

She even specifically said to me the other day:

 

Look i really hope you're right about all this because despite my current non feelings of affection towards you the last few months have been hell. I want nothing more than to justify my feelings or non feelings over last few months as false believe me. It sucks. Do you think i want to be a single mother? Or not happy with you? No.

 

But at other times, is the complete opposite, shut down, and not interested in anything besides herself and what she sees as her own benefits and interests. It's hard when you have a 3 1/2 year old and 2 year old. :-/

 

Dawod


My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#12 ChessieCat

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 01:40 AM

Hi Dawood,

 

I've attached the plan I used for calculating my doses to taper by 2.5mg every 4 weeks off 50mg.

 

Attached File  Pristiq capsules off 50mg x 2.5mg per 4 weeks.pdf   13.53KB   10 downloads


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#13 Dawood

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 01:45 AM

Really appreciate it, thanks!

Dawood

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#14 Dawood

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 08:41 PM

Hi all, just an update.

My wife has chosen to follow the Dr's advice and alternate days rather than taper ("too much work" - even though I offered to arrange all). She has had some real lows, and many symptoms which have affected her ability to work.

I have moved back into the family home following the advice of our marriage counsellor.

However - the most amazing thing happened yesterday!

As I was unpacking some boxes, my wife came up to me and said: "I want to try something". I said okay, try what? She said: "*Kiss*". I tried to make it lighthearted and was all - it has to be for at least 10 seconds to count... oops, that was 9 you have to do it again etc. (She did!).

But - that was the first time in over *6 months* that she has wanted to kiss me. And in fact, touch me in any way at all.

After that we had a relaxed afternoon and shared some jokes etc. before pucking up the kids from care.

In the evening she was back to feeling really low and wanted to be left alone. She even cancelled her prearranged plans.

Is this perhaps the start of the whole window vs. waves thing?

If so, I am hopeful that she can recover and come back to me!

Dawood

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#15 Dawood

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 08:49 PM

Oh, and just to give some context:

On Valentines Day after I did a number of nice things for her (not expecting a response at all but just to show I still care), she randomly told me flat out that the entire 12 years we have been married she has felt nothing for me, and married me out of convenience in order to escape her dysfunctional family. I countered by showing her the love poetry she wrote me in early July 2016, a few weeks before she began Pristiq! Yes, it was still emotionally blunted (no "love" mentioned, only 'deeply care' and that I'm her 'soulmate'), but a far cry from now where if I even brush my toe against her in bed it is WW3.

On top of that, she has been wearing a necklace since mid-November (before the affair ended) that I bought her over 12 years ago that she has not worn for a decade. It was hand-crafted in my village and a gift in our early years. She said that it is just because "it looks nice" and there is nothing else to it, yet somehow she dug it out of hibernation.

Very confusing signals!

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#16 Dawood

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 02:48 PM

Hi all,

 

My wife is currently going through the withdrawal process from 50 mg Pristiq. Although I advised tapering (based on the information in SA) and even offered to arrange these from a compound pharmacy, she went with the Dr's recommendation to do alternate days and is suffering the consequences.

 

Other reading that I have done suggests that taking amino acid supplements throughout the withdrawal process may be beneficial, but I just wanted to ask: Is it still safe to do so whilst still taking Pristiq once every 3 days or so? Or are they only suitable when completely off the drug? I have read conflicting advice.

 

It looks like supplementing 100 mg of 5-HTP for the serotonin and also L-Tyrosine for the dopamine are what is recommended when coming off SNRIs like Pristiq.

 

Does anyone reading have any experience with this at all and can give some advice?

 

Many thanks!

 

Dawood


Edited by scallywag, 21 February 2017 - 07:49 PM.
moved from new topic started in Tapering

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#17 scallywag

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 07:48 PM

Dawood, I've moved your post to the introduction topic you started about your wife's situation.

We have several topics about amino acids in the Symptoms and Self-care forum:
Amino acids.

L-taurine, an amino acid.

Sleep and amino poop-out rotate aminos.

You may find it helpful to use a search engine such as google to find topics already started about a particular subject. The way to get links to this site at the top of your search results is to include site:survivingantidepressants.org as a search term with the keyword/subject.

 

Google search results for site:survivingantidepressants.org "amino acids"


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15;
Current dose: 5.1 mg (47 beads) 2017-Mar-25
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#18 Dawood

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:22 PM

Hi Scallywag,

Thank you for that. However, I posted there because the forum seemed more active and I didn't get many responses to mu questions/updates on here.

It's all good! :-)

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#19 DrugfreeProf

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 06:52 PM

Dawood, it is flipping awful what you have been going through, all because of the casual indifference of our "leaders" to the suffering of the average person at the hands of the pharmaceutical industry.

My take on what you shared is that your wife's behavior is almost certainly being caused by the drug she is on. When someone behaves in a grossly indifferent, non-empathic way toward someone they love who is suffering, there is something very wrong with that picture. It is simply not within the realm of normal behavior. So either your wife is a psychopath or has severely deficient empathy--which would mean she has always acted like this--OR her behavior is coming from a chemically altered brain. I believe the latter is true--what do you think?

I went through something with my ex-husband 20 years ago, after he started on Prozac and Ritalin upon being diagnosed with ADHD and "depression," and it led to our divorce. We had a lot of problems related to his immaturity, refusal to earn money, and so forth, so the problems weren't necessarily only due to the drugs. It quite literally turned him into a psychopath.  He already was not functioning very well, but the drugs made him much worse. He began to get creepy and violent. He became and stayed emotionally and financially abusive.  I begged his psychiatrist to stop prescribing the meds, and he ignored me. The marriage ended, but I went through years of abuse from him regardless.

Your wife doesn't sound like she was anything like my ex before she started on the meds. I really think the meds are affecting her, and I really hope she will continue to carefully wean off of them.

As you know, it's a very bad idea to use the every other day weaning technique. As the mods have often said, it throws the CNS into instability every other day.


Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.


#20 Dawood

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 08:19 PM

Thank you for that DrugfreeProf, and I hope you have also healed after going through so much.

 

Most definitely - before she went on the medication, she was the most kind-hearted and gentle-natured person I knew (one of the reasons I married her!). The type of person who would feel upset or cry when the neighbour's cat got run over or something like that. She comes from a domestically violent and emotionally abusive household (as the youngest girl was bullied relentlessly), and due to the trauma sometimes could get very angry and say nasty things to me. However, she would always apologise a short time later, and be back to normal.

 

The lack of empathy was something that completely crushed me. It is so not her. Like sure, after she suffered Postnatal depression after our second child, she was definitely needing her own space for a while and so on. But now that I look back, I can see the emotional blunting and detachment gradually becoming more pronounced over the 18 months or so culminating in all of this now.

 

The very fact that she could tell me "we need to separate / I want a divorce" so matter of factly, and then when I am on the floor bawling my eyes out, palpitations etc. with our 2 kids (3 1/2 and 2) consoling me and crying too, she just stared blankly at me. 10 minutes later she was back to watching Netflix like nothing had happened. I don't even think she remembers that happening, actually.

 

My biggest concern now is the healing process, and if I am actually going to be able to 'hold on' to our relationship over that period, as she's continued to be quite awful to me the majority of the time, with little glimpses of her old self, or at least a feigned interest in some ways.

 

Thank you so much for your response!


My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#21 ChessieCat

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Posted 23 February 2017 - 05:38 PM

Hi Dawood,

 

This graph in scallywag's topic may help your wife to understand the difference between taking her dose daily and skipping days.

 

scallywag-cymbalta-skipping-doses-didnt-work-time-to-taper


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#22 Dawood

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Posted 26 February 2017 - 09:51 PM

Thanks for that, ChessieCat,

I will pass along to her and see if it helps...

I am currently being blamed for all the withdrawal symptoms she has, even though she was the one who stated she wanted to come off her medication (to prove me wrong) and refused my advice to taper.

My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#23 Dawood

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 05:39 PM

Just updating my thread now...

 

My wife has continued following the Psychiatrist's recommendations on coming off Pristiq, and is now taking one 50 mg tablet then going 3 days without. She will be extending to 4 days from next week. She has suffered a multitude of side-effects from this method, which break my heart (everything from brain fog, brain zaps, neuro-rage, depression even worse than she had pre-meds, fatigue, hatred towards me... all manner of things).

 

There have been a few - very few - glimpses of her "old" self that have shone through for just moments, or a few hours at most. Although she is still adamant that she has no feelings for me - and is cold towards me more often than not - there have been examples of 'normal' things: a random heart-felt hug, her staring at me and smiling across the train carriage as she watched me do my usual morning commute routine, then beckoning me to sit beside her, her apologising to me for how she has been treating me, her even being intimate with me once like she was pre-meds.

 

However, I am still being blamed as the root cause of all this. She even said "I was sane and normal on the medication, and now look at me - all because you want me to love you again!", which really hurt. But I think the fact that she is continuing with the WD thus far through all the side-effects shows her commitment in some way. I don't think the motivation of 'proving me wrong' would be able to keep her going through these, as some have been debilitating and affected her work and home life.

 

Many thanks for your continued support,

Dawood


My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#24 Dawood

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Posted 13 March 2017 - 05:03 PM

Continuing my journal:

 

Yesterday was her first day at 4 days without medication. I expected bad, but not quite as terrible as it turned out to be.

 

Today, she has calmed down somewhat - presumably after taking the medication this morning.

 

I cannot believe this is the "official" and "prescribed" method to come off Pristiq - absolutely ridiculous!

 

She has become increasingly paranoid and sees me invading her privacy and spying on her around every corner one minute, then appears reserved and somewhat normal the next.

 

I checked our phone bill yesterday and saw she had a 34 minute conversation with the man I suspect her of having an affair with a couple of weeks ago, and asked her about it. After getting no satisfactory response, I called him directly to ask what was going in. He - of course - denied everything and told me that nothing had happened etc etc. She later got an extremely abusive message from him which escalated her mania. The upside is that she may now be totally "blocked" from him/partaking in his life, so this is definitely a plus in my book.

 

She went completely manic, asking for a divorce, wanting to separate, saying she hates me etc. But when I suggested that in this case - if she wants "freedom" and "space" that she leaves the house and I will look after our 2 toddlers, she somehow did not want to do so.

 

This morning she wants to "talk", and I made clear that it has to be either in a neutral space with a mediator (counsellor) present, or at least in a public space where she cannot act out.

 

Being on these medications and then coming off them are such a mess - I do not know how they have been made legal without any suitable warnings.

 

My thoughts are with everyone affected by these either through taking them, or indirectly through surviving being with someone who took them.


My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf


#25 triplem15

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 03:36 PM

Hello Dawood, my name is Jamie. I just want to say thank you for coming onto this site. How courageous of you to come and try to seek answers for your wife's suffering and your own. I am one who tapered about 10 mos, too fast from my antidepressant. I was not even off when I crashed. I did a small reinstatement and have been waiting for good and steady. Is your wife still on the SNRI at all? The journey, as I am sure you are reading and talking, are finding, is difficult for all involved. My own husband, though struggling due to the change in our lifestyle and the time involved, has been committed to this so far and says he will be. If she or you want to talk, I will help support. Our Aeroman thankfully is a wealth of information and now has come through these fires. Thank God. It is such a blessing to hear from those who have and can encourage us on our way!!!!

Edited by scallywag, 20 March 2017 - 03:46 AM.
moved from Aeroman's success story

I do take Flonase,also take Zyrtec on and off. Maybe twice per week. I am on Vit. C, B-complex, Vit. D, selenium, Vit E, fish oil, and l-lysine and thats it. No street drugs. No alcohol. 9/2006 Welbutrin XL 150mg, Began Weaning June 15, 2015, Alternating days, changed each mos. Oct 2015 switch to Immediate release 37.5mg. mid october 2015 down to 18.75, (9.37mg twice daily. stayed there one mos.) Dec 2015 down to 9.37mg in AM and 7mg in PM, January 2016 down to 7mg AM and 4.6mg in PM. 4/5/16 cut down what I thought was 2.5 to 3mg. From 4/16/16 until yesterday, was not doing well. 4/20/16, 37.5mg yesterday for first time. 4/21/16 Two days now on 37.5mg. 4/22/16 took monitors advise and dropped dose to 18.75, split dose ,twice daily, now holding.

#26 Dawood

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 05:20 PM

Hi Triplem15,

 

Yes, my wife has been recommended by the prescribing psychiatrist to do "alternate days" in order to come off the Pristiq. She is currently taking one pill, then 4 days before the next, soon to go up to 5 and so on. I advised her to taper, and was willing to go to a compounding chemist so she could follow the 10% reduction model, but the reason for her coming off was to "prove me wrong" - i.e. that her falling out of love with me was *not* due to the medication, and that we should separate as she asked way back in October. So she did not follow my suggestion and is now suffering for it.

 

Prior to her postpartum depression and the medication afterwards, our relationship was very close, and solid - for want of a better word. Yes, there were small issues (she has unresolved childhood trauma which has affected some aspects of her life), but on the whole was a highly functioning, caring individual. Since our second child (just over 2 years now), and her being on medication for 18 months, our life has changed immeasurably.

 

Now that he can talk and communicate, instead of crying non-stop for 5 or more hours per day for no discernible reason, I (and she) don't think she necessarily needs to be on the medication anymore.

 

But it is very early days yet, so we will see what happens.

 

And you are right: stories such as Aeroman's give me hope that my family can remain intact, and I can get my wife back!


My wife's medication and withdrawal process:

-----------------------------

 

July-December 2015 (approx):     Eleva (Zoloft) 50 mg

January-July 2016 (approx):         Eleva (Zoloft) 100 mg

July 2016-February 2017:              Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 50 mg

 

Introductory post: http://tinyurl.com/gqwpglf






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