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nicolantana: Anhedonia- Recovery?

quetiapine Seroquel mirtazapine Remeron escitalopram Lexapro olanzapine Zyprexa rapid taper

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#1 nicolantana

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Posted 07 February 2017 - 04:05 AM

Hi folks,
 
First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me..
 
But here's my story...
 
I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia.
 
Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal.
 
I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would  never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep.
 
By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything.
 
There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia.
Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six  months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months...
 
I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week.
My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend.
 
However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc...
 
I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all.   Feedback welcome!!

Edited by scallywag, 04 March 2017 - 03:05 PM.
tags

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#2 Madeleine

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 12:20 PM

Dear Nicolantana: Welcome to the forum.  You wrote:  "I cried for the first time in six  months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... " -- so it sounds  that you are to some extent at least recovering and getting back your emotion.  Give it a bit of time and don't focus on the lack of emotion, just take it day by day and accept how things are for now, and I think you will see recovery. 


March 15/2017: 3.75 zyprexa; January 16/2017: 6.25 mg; down from 10 mg December 2016
200 zoloft. Tapering that next.


#3 KarenB

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 05:36 PM

Hello Nicolantana,

 

Your doctors sure have a lot to answer for.  So sorry you've been put in this position.  That was an extremely fast taper off a lot of drugs all at once - I'm not surprised you haven't been feeling great.  As a comparison, we suggest people taper one drug at a time at a rate of 10% of your current dose each month.  This allows your brain time to adjust as you go, and lessens any withdrawal. 

 

I see that anhedonia is your main w/d symptom.  Are you still feeling suicidal?  How are you sleeping?  It's a very good sign that you've had some return of feelings, and that the headaches have stopped.  Healing can be very gradual, so small signs are always good.  Healing also happens in windows and waves, which means you'll get good weeks and then worse weeks again.  Being prepared for that can help you to get through them. 
 

For now you may like to try Fish oil and Magnesium which many people find useful during withdrawal.   

Keep it Simple; Keep it Slow; Keep it Stable

Non-Drug Techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

Symptom Checklist

 

We have a thread that discusses reinstatement here:http://survivinganti...rawal-symptoms/  If you decided to reinstate, it would be of a small amount of one of your drugs, and once you were stable again you could taper off according to our 10% monthly guide.  We find that this is more conducive to stabilising than trying to out-run a too fast taper.  Have a look and see what you think.  

 

Have a read of those and then you can come back to this thread to discuss things further.  This can be your journal to record your tapering and healing progress, and to ask questions. 

 

Welcome to SA,

Karen


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#4 LexAnger

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 08:41 PM

Hi nicolatana, I'm very sorry you were put through such a horror by being given so many dangerous drugs all at once! From what I read, you had a severe reaction to Lexapro then got all messed up even more by the additional meds added on. It seems so far you are. Recovering from the drug reaction with those symptoms lessening, and with probably the only headache as the withdrawal symptom which is stopped a week ago. There is a so called protracted withdrawal meaning some people may experience withdrawal weeks or even months after stopping meds. Not everyone has withdrawal problems from stopping these meds, and no one knows if you will have protracted withdrawal later.

Your emotional symptoms are obviously from the drug reaction, which will get better over time away from meds. Those symptoms will only get worse if you get back on meds. So in my opinion, if these are your only concern, reinstate is most probably not the best solution. Otherwise, if you feel what you are dealing with now is more like from stopping the meds, or if you worry about the protracted withdrawal in future, the information provided by karenB has good details.

Regardless what decision you will make, you want to consider it as the most critical decision as one tiny bit difference can lead to a huge consequence so be very cautious before any action, be sure to put your best critical thinking.
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#5 nicolantana

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:58 PM

Thanks for feedback guys!

 

My docs certainly have a lot to answer for! I was too.out of it to complain at the time.

But being on olanzapine seroquel mirt and lex at the same time seems crazy.

 

Anyway, don't think reinstatement will help. Life was not life on these drugs. I stopped being suicidal the week I began to reduce these. There has been improvements since withdrawal; sleep quality improving, energy improving, cognitive function improving, windows of emotion. So don't think reinstatement will do much for me?

 

I know there are improvements but yes the main complaint is no emotion , and lack of creativity/imagination/memory. It's a hugely frustrating process and I fear that this could take a long time??


Edited by ChessieCat, 09 February 2017 - 03:24 AM.
removed obscenity

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#6 AliG

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 02:53 AM

Nicolantana.   While I agree to a certain extent with the above from Lex , I think it would pay you to at least perhaps try / think about a small reinstatement. You can always stop if it is unsuccessful but it might just turn things around for you.

 

I wish I had known this information at your stage in the process. 

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 

 

 Have a read and see what you think . 

 

One more thing  - it can seem to be so much better initially ( first few months) before the long term pain sets in. It's just something to think about. 


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
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             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#7 nicolantana

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 03:16 AM

I'm not sure you guys are understanding me. Suicidal thoughts and anhedonia was my experience on the meds. The meds did not help me. I had a minor bout of depression which exploded DUE to meds. I did not have ONE good moment on meds. I'm not going through withdrawal. I had an extremely quick taper I know. I have had improvements since going off meds...only withdrawal symptom being headaches....I'm just concerned if I can recover from the dulling of mind and emotion....

 

Sorry if I came across as antagonistic....still open to advice...would you still suggest RE instatement?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#8 AliG

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 03:33 AM

Suicidal thoughts and anhedonia were my experience on meds too. The meds don't help anyone really and depression can explode due to the meds.

 

How do you know you're not in withdrawal after only 6 weeks ?

 

I would still recommend reinstating a small amount. If you're interested please let us know and we can recommend a starting dose.


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#9 nicolantana

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 03:35 AM

Lex anger...thanks for your advice...

 

What do you mean by "protracted withdrawal in future" do I sound like a candidate for that? Does this mean a return of pre med issues (bear in mind I had very few!)


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#10 nicolantana

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 03:41 AM

Alig....I am not currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms is my point. The only things I have experienced are actual improvements of physical, emotional and mental issues caused my meds. So I still cannot see why going back on will help

 

Do you think that going back on meds will somehow reduce anhedonia in long run?

 

(Don't worry I don't intend on taking any action without consulting doctors)


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#11 LexAnger

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 08:30 AM

Nicolatana, protracted withdrawal is withdrawal that starts after weeks or months stopping meds. No body knows who is a candidate of it and when it mat start for each individual. Like I said, I have friends who never experienced withdrawal by cold turkey meds and they just got better with drug reaction being off meds.

I will see if I can find the complete info about protracted withdrawal.
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#12 KarenB

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 04:24 PM

Nicolantana, here is a symptom checklist. 

Symptom Checklist

 

  Crying spells Worsened mood Low energy (fatigue, lethargy, malaise) Trouble concentrating Insomnia or trouble sleeping Change in appetite Suicidal thoughts Suicide attempts Anxious, nervous, tense Panic attacks (racing heart, breathless) Chest pain Trembling, jittery, shaking Irritability Agitation (restlessness, hyperactivity) Impulsivity Aggressiveness Self-harm Homicidal thoughts or urges Confusion or cognitive difficulties Memory problems or forgetfulness Elevated mood (feeling high) Mood swings Manic-like reactions Auditory hallucinations Visual hallucinations Feeling detached or unreal Excessive or intense dreaming Nightmares Flu-like aches and pains Fever Sweats Chills Runny nose Sore eyes Nausea Vomiting Diarrhea Abdominal pain or cramps Stomach bloating Disequilibrium Spinning, swaying, lightheaded Hung over or waterlogged feeling Unsteady gait, poor coordination Motion sickness Headache Tremor Numbness, burning, tingling Electric zap-like sensations in brain Electric shock-like sensations in body Abnormal visual sensations Ringing or other noises in ears Abnormal smells or tastes Drooling or excessive saliva Slurred speech Blurred vision Muscle cramps, stiffness, twitches Feeling of restless legs Uncontrollable twitching of mouth  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Reading over your posts, it seems you are experiencing some of these, but not many and not badly?  Headaches and lack of feeling? It's true that these can take a long time to heal.

 

I'd like to clarify reinstatement.  It would be of a very small amount in order to help you stabilise and thereby heal more smoothly.  This is different to going back on a larger or even full dose that would set off your side-effects of suicidal thoughts and anhedonia. 

 

However, if your withdrawal is now fairly minor as you describe it, then you may be better continuing to ride it out instead.  Reinstatement is to try to ensure that w/d does not turn into a horribly protracted event.  Each person needs to weigh up the pros and cons and try to make the best decision they can for their individual circumstances. 

 

Please continue to discuss this if you like - we do want to help you reach a decision that you are happy with.


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#13 ChessieCat

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 05:48 PM

You might find these links helpful:

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?


How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

Brain Remodelling
 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#14 nicolantana

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 09:54 PM

Thanks guys,

 

I read through all of that. The when I first started reducing I experienced Hallucinations sweats and flu symptoms...but since coming fully off all I've experienced are headaches which have now dissipated.

 

Yeah lack of feeling is the primary concern.

 

Overall, I guess I'm doing quite well.

 

I've gone from getting out of bed at three pm on meds, with no desire to get up; no energy, doing nothing , eating crap, etc......now I get up on average 10am....eat well throughout day, walk at least five miles, occasionally enjoying music and I've got back reading...about ten pages a day which isn't much but is progress.

 

But still feel I'm might have a long time to wait out.

 

And how about these horror stories? People never recovering or taking five years to recover? Are they extreme situations?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#15 nicolantana

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 09:58 PM

Thanks Chelsie cat will look at them shortly


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#16 LexAnger

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 12:31 AM

That's fantastic news! I'm so happy for you that your WD is minimal and short lived!
Everyone is different, giving how well you are doing in terms of WD and rather fast recovery from reaction, I would think you will continue healing quickly!

So focus on your well being and feeling well. You most probably a lucky one in terms of WD.

Best wishes,
Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#17 nicolantana

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 01:27 AM

Cheers,

 

yeah it sounds alright on paper and I will focus and remain upbeat.

But lack of emotion is a huge challenge...it basically means an inability to connect with people, an inabiity to enjoy things and inability to work

(I teach, so you definitely need emotions/personality for that!)

 

Is anhedonia common in people's experience?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#18 nicolantana

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 03:56 AM

And thanks Chelsie cat for links...very helpful. I particularly like the idea of the brain healing like a rubix cube....you have the occasional moment where things feel almost right and then it all disappeared again to resurface god knows when


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#19 nicolantana

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 09:02 AM

sorry for all the questions....but I guess that's why we are here..

 

supplements? is there suffficient evidence to support the claim that omega 3 and magnesium enhance recovery?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#20 scallywag

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 10:36 AM

With respect to Omega 3 and magnesium supplementation, we're telling you what other members have found useful. I don't recall any links to research in the SA topics on these supplements,however it's been several months since I've closely read the discussions. Most people eating typical "Western" diets are deficient in both nutrients because of food choices and agricultural practices.
Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil).
Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15;
Current dose: 5.1 mg (47 beads) 2017-Mar-25
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#21 SkyBlue

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 01:13 PM

There is *absolutely* hope for recovery from anhedonia. I hadn't really experienced it before withdrawal, 

and hadn't realized how absolutely scary it was. 

 

Nicolantana, it's difficult to say whether there is "sufficient evidence" that anything (like fish oil and magnesium) helps withdrawal, because unfortunately, medicine does not acknowledge that withdrawal is a "thing," so there's not going to be much research done on it. Thankfully, that's where this site comes in. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence of what works for people. Now, what works for one might not work for another, and as a friend of mine said, "what works for me doesn't always work for me." Magnesium has been exceptionally beneficial for me -- but pls do your own research and careful experimentation, and maybe check out the Magnesium thread on this site. Some people really don't tolerate it. 

 

I wish you the best in your continued healing.


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: March: 0.82 mg Paxil. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.* 


#22 nicolantana

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Posted 14 February 2017 - 09:36 AM

Any one else specifically on anhedonia ? I had my first window in two weeks this weekend for 36 hours or so.   .now flat again.....does it ring through that you have occasional bursts now and then where everything feels normal....only do disappear and let more despair in?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#23 nicolantana

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Posted 18 February 2017 - 02:37 AM

Lifeless week.

 

 

is it possible to recover properly?? (pre med self)

 

and is leaxpro 20, mirt 30, olanzapine 20 and seroquel 125 a scarily powerful mix. I hear of people having huge problems recovering from one...but all four??

 

I guess there is an huge mess in my brain which may take a very, very long time to fix


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#24 AliG

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Posted 18 February 2017 - 03:57 AM

Nic.

 

Any one else specifically on anhedonia ? I had my first window in two weeks this weekend for 36 hours or so.   .now flat again.....does it ring through that you have occasional bursts now and then where everything feels normal....only do disappear and let more despair in?

 

This is the usual pattern . It's windows and waves. This has been a withdrawal symptom of mine also but it tends to come and go eventually lightening up with time.

 

There is a discussion  here :

http://survivinganti...ional-numbness/

 

I hope it eases soon. It can take some time though. Patience is needed. 

Ali


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#25 nicolantana

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Posted 18 February 2017 - 06:55 AM

Thanks Ali G,

 

it's a tough process. Nobody I speak to, professional or otherwise has an insight into this condition.

Yet it is all over this website. It's a great source of validation.

 

In all my reading I hadn't come across that link, will glance now


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#26 nicolantana

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 01:45 PM

Can neuro leptics cause permanent brain damage??? Do they kill neurons???


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#27 nicolantana

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 11:50 PM

Hi folks,

 

I recently posted an introduction. I didn't get too much reaction so just gonna post from a different angle under a different title having done more research and become clearer on my condition

 

Please don't suggest reinstatement as I have improved without meds.

Also, I'm aware of the suggested supplements and all the usual links so no need for links unless it's not one of the usual ones, cheers!

I'm aware of brain re modelling, windows and waves etc!....Finally, my condition is not linked to a mental illness but rather the meds....so that suggestion would also be shot down!

 

so here we are. Last July I had a mild bout of depression. To put things in perspective, in May I was training for a marathon, on an enjoyable holiday in Amsterdam, on some good dates, working 9-5, socialising....living a pretty decent life. A few situational factors came together to send me downhill a little (and don't worry, I have worked/am working on the solutions/psychology factors here to avoid a repeat)

 

Anyway, during this downturn, I went to the doctor who suggested lexapro 10. The first night I took this I vomited everywhere and lost control of my body (tried to get back into bed one occasion, collapsed against bed, left nose pumping blood)

 

Lexapro did not go down well. a couple of days later, doc gave me seroquel 25 'to balance out things'. Within a day of this my hands were shaking and I felt worse than ever, I could not sleep. I seemed to lose all emotion and thoughts apart from feeling suicidal.

So I spent a few days feeling suicidal before being admitted to hospital. In hosptial, I complained of stomach problems and lack of emotion primarily. The docs thought I was delusional and pumped me full of meds,,,,,zyprexa 20, seroquel 250, mirtazapine 30, lexapro 10......I was on this combination from mid august until the end of November....

 

while on these meds, I felt absolutely nothing. No emotion whatsoever. My cognitive function was also severely impaired. I seemed to be stuck in the present moment...no memory, anticipation, creativity, imagination, visualization, etc....

 

By November I had realised that the meds destroyed/were destroying me. I demanded a reduction. The doc immediately cold turkeyed mirtazpine, halfed the rest. I was off all drugs by christmas day, partially my own doing. I know that this is an outrageous taper, equivalent to a cold turkey.

 

However, I'm definitely better without the meds, however marginal.

A week after going off the meds I cried for the first time since early july. a few days later I laughed for the first time since july.

In the last seven weeks, I've had maybe 7 or 8 moments of strong emotion.  a couple of hours  where i was sad/angry (naturally)

and a few hours of laughter, real enjoyment etc...

 

also, I've had very brief moments where I could read, watch tv walk in nature and actually connect with these activities...(I do these things most days but 99% of the time I'm not engaged)

 

So I have a tiny bit of life in me as opposed to NOTHING on meds.

 

But the the amount of times where I've felt strong emotion and/or high levels of engagement would add up to about 24 hours I'd guess. So that's 24 hours of life in the last 8 months!!! but those 24 hours have come in the last eight weeks since going off meds so I know there is fragments of hope....

 

Thoughts/suggestions...??

 

Is it possible to be permanently damaged?? Anyone experiencing similar situations?? success stories???

 

having read other stories that mix I was on...olanzapine, seroquel, lexapro, mirtazapine sounds fairly outrageous

 

Thanks in Advance,

 

Nick 

 


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#28 ChessieCat

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 12:37 AM

Hi Nick,

 

I have moved your new topic and joined it to your Intro/Update topic.  Each member has 1 Intro/Update topic where they can ask questions about their own situation and journal their progress.  This also keeps your history and the answers to questions in one place.

 

Here are some existing SA topics:

 

Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal

 

do-you-believe-in-chronic-damage

 

finding-out-neutransmitters-damage

 

Non-drug techniques to cope


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#29 nicolantana

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 01:45 AM

Can I at least change the title????!   Anhedonia is a little known word. Forgive my attention seeking but I'd like to hear from a few different voices...


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#30 ChessieCat

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 02:00 AM

Believe or not, anhedonia is a well known word in the world of AD withdrawal!

 

Here is a topic about it:  Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness

 

I suggest you make the same post you made (post #27) in another area of the site: Symptoms and self-care

 

To look for existing topics I use google and type in survivingantidepressants.org + topic. For example survivingantidepressants.org anhedonia


Podcasts:    Let's Talk Withdrawal

 

Antidepressants:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft; Cipramil CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks soon after)

Pristiq:  50mg mid 2012, 100mg beg 2014 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)     Current:  Pristiq 28mg (from 3 March 17)

 

Tapering history & graph

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

 

I've still got a way to go ... but I've already come a long way!!!

 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.


#31 nicolantana

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 02:44 AM

Thanks for your suggestion! I'll go ahead with that .and thanks for the search idea..

 

As for anhedonia, I live in the Irish countryside, I guess we're more ignorant of world affairs. But I've spoken to an awful lot of people around here, a few of whom were on ads......nobody has heard of anhedonia . Thank goodness for this site!


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#32 nicolantana

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 02:53 AM

Hi folks,

 

I recently posted an introduction. I didn't get too much reaction so just gonna post from a different angle under a different title having done more research and become clearer on my condition

 

Please don't suggest reinstatement as I have improved without meds.

Also, I'm aware of the suggested supplements and all the usual links so no need for links unless it's not one of the usual ones, cheers!

I'm aware of brain re modelling, windows and waves etc!....Finally, my condition is not linked to a mental illness but rather the meds....so that suggestion would also be shot down!

 

so here we are. Last July I had a mild bout of depression. To put things in perspective, in May I was training for a marathon, on an enjoyable holiday in Amsterdam, on some good dates, working 9-5, socialising....living a pretty decent life. A few situational factors came together to send me downhill a little (and don't worry, I have worked/am working on the solutions/psychology factors here to avoid a repeat)

 

Anyway, during this downturn, I went to the doctor who suggested lexapro 10. The first night I took this I vomited everywhere and lost control of my body (tried to get back into bed one occasion, collapsed against bed, left nose pumping blood)

 

Lexapro did not go down well. a couple of days later, doc gave me seroquel 25 'to balance out things'. Within a day of this my hands were shaking and I felt worse than ever, I could not sleep. I seemed to lose all emotion and thoughts apart from feeling suicidal.

So I spent a few days feeling suicidal before being admitted to hospital. In hosptial, I complained of stomach problems and lack of emotion primarily. The docs thought I was delusional and pumped me full of meds,,,,,zyprexa 20, seroquel 250, mirtazapine 30, lexapro 10......I was on this combination from mid august until the end of November....

 

while on these meds, I felt absolutely nothing. No emotion whatsoever. My cognitive function was also severely impaired. I seemed to be stuck in the present moment...no memory, anticipation, creativity, imagination, visualization, etc....

 

By November I had realised that the meds destroyed/were destroying me. I demanded a reduction. The doc immediately cold turkeyed mirtazpine, halved the rest. I was off all drugs by christmas day, partially my own doing. I know that this is an outrageous taper, equivalent to a cold turkey.

 

However, I'm definitely better without the meds, however marginal.

A week after going off the meds I cried for the first time since early july. a few days later I laughed for the first time since july.

In the last seven weeks, I've had maybe 7 or 8 moments of strong emotion.  a couple of hours  where i was sad/angry (naturally)

and a few hours of laughter, real enjoyment etc...

 

also, I've had very brief moments where I could read, watch tv walk in nature and actually connect with these activities...(I do these things most days but 99% of the time I'm not engaged)

 

So I have a tiny bit of life in me as opposed to NOTHING on meds.

 

But the the amount of times where I've felt strong emotion and/or high levels of engagement would add up to about 24 hours I'd guess. So that's 24 hours of life in the last 8 months!!! but those 24 hours have come in the last eight weeks since going off meds so I know there is fragments of hope....

 

Thoughts/suggestions...??

 

Is it possible to be permanently damaged?? Anyone experiencing similar situations?? success stories???

 

having read other stories that mix I was on...olanzapine, seroquel, lexapro, mirtazapine sounds fairly outrageous

 

Thanks in Advance,

 

Nick 

 


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#33 Farout

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 06:15 AM

Is this your first experience of ADs?

It sounds like a hideous adverse reaction. I had similar but managed to stay away from further from further meds in the recovery...and yes, sounds like a terrible mix. (I don't know anything about the actual mix, just imagining the impact of poly-drugging in an adverse reaction situation).

It's hard-core and may take a while to recover but you aren't permantly damaged.

It's a busy site and the mods work voluntarily. I'm sure one will stop by soon to advise on symptom relief. Meanwhile, and I appreciate that you aren't after links/advice per se, but read up on the waves and windows cycle of recovery. James Heaney's (npath) blog is a good place to start.

March 2003 took two sartroline tablets after a traumatic incident and had a reaction so stopped.  I am not sure now whether what I had for the next 18 months was WD after the reaction or the emotional fallout from the traumatic event.  Some of it was very similar to WD in hindsight.  

 

February 2014 - Took five pristiq (50mg) tablets and three Ativan and had a severe reaction.
Extreme withdrawal symptoms for three weeks compounded by visit to naturopath -

One week later took 900mg St John's Wort x 3 daily for six weeks - more negative effects and suspected serotonin syndrome - before tapering over three weeks. Last tablet late May 2014.

Waves and windows cycle of recovery with longer windows and manageable waves.

May 2015 - already in a mild wave, following a usual pattern, I took clarithromicin and amoxicillin for two weeks for a sinus infection which I also seem to have had quite a reaction to.

 

February 2016 - Feeling much better.  I still have waves and windows but they are manageable.  I'm largely enjoying life again.


#34 nicolantana

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 06:25 AM

Thank you Far out.

 

I've already posted in introduction area and got some feedback. I just have more clarity on the issue now and decided to move it over here.

 

Yes my first experience..

 

So did you experience/hear of people with Anhedonia...and/or empty minds....?

 

cheers, will look into that blog....I'm happy to take advice...just I've been given al the standard advice already....


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#35 Farout

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 06:38 AM

Yes. It's pretty common in withdrawal. That and derealisation/depersonalisation. And a weird sense of remorse and regret about things that you haven't even thought about for decades (they call it 'evil nostalgia'). And heightened anger....And quite a lot of other bizarre sensations.

I get it from time to time now but it doesn't bother me anymore. It's a nuisance and then it passes. Months can pass between waves, which are entirely manageable when they happen. I have seen enough recovery to know that, sooner or later, it will go completely.

I have just read your intro post and I'm concerned about the strength of your early reaction. Please listen to the mods. It's very difficult in adverse reaction cases - a few days and (based purely on my own experience) I would say steer clear but you were poly-drugged over several months. You may need a strategy to deal with and recover from that.

All that said, please, if ever times get tough and you doubt your sanity or recovery, be assured that you can recover from immense damage.

March 2003 took two sartroline tablets after a traumatic incident and had a reaction so stopped.  I am not sure now whether what I had for the next 18 months was WD after the reaction or the emotional fallout from the traumatic event.  Some of it was very similar to WD in hindsight.  

 

February 2014 - Took five pristiq (50mg) tablets and three Ativan and had a severe reaction.
Extreme withdrawal symptoms for three weeks compounded by visit to naturopath -

One week later took 900mg St John's Wort x 3 daily for six weeks - more negative effects and suspected serotonin syndrome - before tapering over three weeks. Last tablet late May 2014.

Waves and windows cycle of recovery with longer windows and manageable waves.

May 2015 - already in a mild wave, following a usual pattern, I took clarithromicin and amoxicillin for two weeks for a sinus infection which I also seem to have had quite a reaction to.

 

February 2016 - Feeling much better.  I still have waves and windows but they are manageable.  I'm largely enjoying life again.


#36 nicolantana

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 07:10 AM

cheers....how do you mean 'listen to the mods'

 

I think I am listening! Is there something I've been doing wrong/should do??


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: quetiapine, Seroquel, mirtazapine, Remeron, escitalopram, Lexapro, olanzapine, Zyprexa, rapid taper