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nicolantana: Anhedonia- Recovery?

quetiapine Seroquel mirtazapine Remeron escitalopram Lexapro olanzapine Zyprexa rapid taper

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#73 scallywag

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Posted 30 March 2017 - 05:01 PM

How unfortunate that your doctor gave you more evidence not to trust his advice!  Or, maybe it's a good thing.

 

Glad you're noticing improvements, however slight.  Every step forward counts!


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, exact doses and dates in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15; 5.1 mg (47) Mar. 25; 4.9 mg (45) Apr. 5; 4.5 mg (42) Apr. 14; 3.5 mg (32) Apr. 26;
Current dose: 2.6 mg (24) 2017-May-17
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#74 nicolantana

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Posted 01 April 2017 - 06:48 AM

How do we feel about alcohol in all this....I occasionally have a couple of beers, and it seems the anhedonia intensifies in the following days...


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#75 scallywag

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Posted 01 April 2017 - 07:16 AM

What's important is how your body feels about alcohol consumption; if you notice stronger symptoms for a few days after drinking, then it's probably not a good idea until you've put withdrawal behind you.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, exact doses and dates in this post;
2017: 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22; 5.4 mg (50) Mar. 15; 5.1 mg (47) Mar. 25; 4.9 mg (45) Apr. 5; 4.5 mg (42) Apr. 14; 3.5 mg (32) Apr. 26;
Current dose: 2.6 mg (24) 2017-May-17
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#76 nicolantana

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Posted 17 April 2017 - 02:39 PM

Anymore theories on how long it might be until recovery? for a man on four powerful drug for 4/5 months and cold turkey/fast taper...

could it be years? three weeks without a good moment today....


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#77 nicolantana

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Posted 17 April 2017 - 02:41 PM

Also, had an interesting if somewhat irresponsible experiment at the weekend.

 

Some people I know cannot comprehend the situation (naturally, it's a very unique experience)...so I told a relative get out his whiskey and I drank half a bottle of whiskey straight. I'm not even a drinker, ordinarily one beer would knock me........reaction to half a bottle of whiskey? nada. No change in mood or behaviour and no hangover. Needless to say, people then understood and were shocked by severity of the situation. A one off unhealthy choice that might set my brain back, but a worthwhile action to convey the condition to people.

 

off alcohol now until recovery


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#78 powerback

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 11:28 AM

Also, had an interesting if somewhat irresponsible experiment at the weekend.

 

Some people I know cannot comprehend the situation (naturally, it's a very unique experience)...so I told a relative get out his whiskey and I drank half a bottle of whiskey straight. I'm not even a drinker, ordinarily one beer would knock me........reaction to half a bottle of whiskey? nada. No change in mood or behaviour and no hangover. Needless to say, people then understood and were shocked by severity of the situation. A one off unhealthy choice that might set my brain back, but a worthwhile action to convey the condition to people.

 

off alcohol now until recovery

 

Hi nicolantana ,I really feel your pain ,I am experiencing  deep crippling depression lately ,spent most of Easter in bed [everyday I at least walk].I'm off alcohol 2 years and its a big relief off my shoulders not worrying about the drama and hangovers. I think it best for recovery to stay away .

only in the last hour I have told a close friend how serious my depression is and he's compassion was really heart warming,  so people really do care even if they cant  comprehend the suffering .to be honest I think I was ignoring how serious it was myself ,I am trying to drop my ego and let more people in and respecting the fact for now I need support and help .

 

I wish I could tell u how long it will last ,id love to know myself but u are among and apart of  a great community of serious strong fighters .

I recommend reading the recovery stories ,filling the brain with positivity is a must  and I also watch comedy to get my brain in a different mindset

Keep strong and take care


June 2012 citroll 10mg

​July 2012 citroll 20 mg

​September 2013 Lexapro 20mg

October 2014 venlafaxine xl 75mg

January 2015 venlafaxine xl 37.5mg

April 2015 venlafaxine xl 75mg

June 2015 venlafaxine 37.5mg ..this is my current dose to this day at present

IVE had 2 unsuccessful tapers in the last year . 

 


#79 nicolantana

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Posted 23 April 2017 - 11:19 PM

Anyone have a spare window??? haven't had on in about month so if you've got one to spare...


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#80 bhasski

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Posted 23 April 2017 - 11:23 PM

I haven't have a single one yet... making me a long wait as if s1 is mocking u try hard .. u wait long.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda

#81 nicolantana

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Posted 24 April 2017 - 01:48 AM

I'm waiting nearly a month bro. which probably isn't that long. I'm off everything four months now and I've had a few windows.

 

How about? how long are you clean? what are your main symptoms??


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#82 bhasski

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Posted 24 April 2017 - 05:43 AM

I have been off since 13-14 months. Can't state that I have seen a window yet. I am living like stranger at my native.

I am still assuming it is withdrawal that have kept me aloof, anhedonic not that I am bipolar.

Though I have seen rare similarities 10 yrs ago where I felt strange when I came back home and forgotten lifestyle.... but then theres music , speech, memory , anger especially rage impairment weren't there. And ofcourse i could go out home.

But its a good sign that you are seeing windows... cheers

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda

#83 nicolantana

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:32 AM

oh it's May. I have just had my first full calendar month without a window! hooray! any rewards around here for endurance?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#84 KarenB

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Posted 08 May 2017 - 03:31 PM

Your chocolate fish is in the mail...How are things this last week?


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#85 nicolantana

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Posted 08 May 2017 - 09:43 PM

Ha cheers. Ah the same. Six weeks now of pure emptiness. I'm functional but empty. Like a robot

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#86 Kiaza

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Posted 10 May 2017 - 07:27 PM

Good that you are still able to function! Have you tried yoga or TRE movements to release the stress from your body? They could help you to feel something
Citalopram (Sepram): 2005 10mg, 2008 20mg, 2010 30mg, 2011 20mg, tapered 2012 for two months quit in August 2012, restarted Oct 2012 with 10mg, January 2013 20mg, February 2014 40mg, tapered in August 2014, quit in December 2014
Suprium: Oct 2012 50mg, cold turkey after one month, December 2015 50mg, quit March 2016
Xanax: Oct 2015 2mg used it when needed, quit November 2015
Opamox: January 2016 15mg 3x day, tapered in March 2016, quit April 2016
Tenox: 3 weeks in February 2016 cold turkey
Lyrica: One month in Spring 2016 cold turkey
Abilify: 2 weeks in Spring 2016 cold turkey
Mirtazapine: June 2016 - mid April 2017 cold turkey

#87 nicolantana

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 06:21 AM

No, I do yoga normally, but not really at the moment. I just go for walks and this and that


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#88 raven530

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 07:39 AM

I'm going to start yoga soon, anything that gets the brain more familiar with itself should be good


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#89 nicolantana

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 07:27 AM

are  constant heavy heads/stuffed heads.headaches par for the course?


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#90 raven530

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 07:44 AM

like a pressure? A feeling like the brain is a bit torn/numb, then yep, but I wouldn't describe mine like a headache


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#91 nicolantana

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 10:05 AM

hmm..yeah it's hard to describe. I use the word headache but I know that's not right. pressure/heaviness is closer to the mark.


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#92 Plshelp

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Posted 23 May 2017 - 08:34 AM

just an update.....there's been quite a dissipation of my condition in recent weeks. It's still torture but there are clear signs of progress.

I was thinking today: my experience on the medication (5 months)....was hell itself, with no relief, Finished meds at Christmas.
January was 95% hell, February was 90% hell and March has been 80% hell. Obviously these are random figures, but you get the idea...there is improvement, however small.

I met the pdoc for last time today. I asked him why I was on two anti psychotics,,,response: seroquel is not an anti psychotic, it's an anti-depressant. SHOCKING.
I corrected him on this, but he still denied and said seroquel is an anti depressant. Anyone with half a brain, and the internet in front of them knows that Seroquel is an anti-psychotic.

I have been met at every stage with severe incompetence.


Nic,

How are you faring today? Any improvements?
Dec 2016 Risperidone 1 mg
Jan - Mar 2017 paliperidone (invega) 6 mg
Mar - Apr 2017 aripiprazole (abilify) 10 mg
Apr 2017 - present olanzapine (zyprexa) 5 mg tapered to 2.5mg





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