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Aissela Back to life.


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#1 Aissela

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Posted 11 February 2017 - 07:39 AM

Hi all, I'm 24 from Italy and I'm sorry for my English, I'll do my best. I want to share my story because I think this could give hope to other people.

I've been on fluvoxamine for six months in 2013 and stopped in the early 2014 and after a months my first withdrawal started. At that time I didn't know anything about withdrawal and my doctor told me I was bipolar. So, after three months of strange symptoms, he decided to put me on Paxil. The symptoms subsided very quickly and I took Paxil till February 2015 and again, after a months with no med, I had my second withdrawal. But this time fortunately I found this forum and i've been able to understand what was happening to my body. I said good bye to my doctor and I started my healing process alone.

I had a classical withdrawal with the pattern of windows and waves and all those symptoms morphing month by month: Panick attacks, DP/DR, anhedonia, weight loss, couldn't go out, memory loss, mood swings, sensation of burning brain, no libido, insomnia but also lethargy, light sensitivity and so on...The first year I've been like a vegetable, in my bedroom all the day, unable to function and also to empathize with my family or my dog. But I have to say that my first window started very soon, maybe after three months in the withdrawal and I've seen a lots of improvement also during the first year. Slowly the windows have become frequent and longer while the waves have become less intense and shorter. Anyway i'm not able to tell you specifically how my symptoms have changed every month because I can't remember and frankly, I prefer to forget it. All I can say is that during the second year my emotions started to came back and the panic attacks subsided completely, but i've seen also a constant improvement of all the other symptoms.

Now I'm on month 23 and I can go out when I want, I'm doing sport, I have my sexuality back, I can empathize with people, I'm sleeping very well. I can hit a short wave every two or three months, especially after a stressful period. It last one or two weeks and generally my only symptoms are extreme tiredness, fatigue and low moods. Of course I'm not completely recovered but I'm also doing a very slow benzo's taper and I'm sure that part of my residual symptoms are from it.

So, all I want to tell you is that there is hope. It is a long and painful process but as I've seen, the brain is really able to heal itself and time will adjust everything.

#2 Hibari

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Posted 11 February 2017 - 08:48 AM

Thank you for posting and great to hear about your healing.   I was just thinking how tired I was today and it was validating to read that part of your process has been extreme fatigue.

 

Wishing you continued healing and success with your benzo taper.

 

Hibari


September 2013-April 2014: After the death of my mom in July 2012.-became very depressed in September of 2013. Given a series of antidepressants very quickly from about 4 different psychiatrists in a 6 month period. Each one was from 1 day to 10 days at the most. My body could not handle it-I had Zoloft 4 days, Lexapro-1 day, Nortriptyline-10 days, Liquid Prozac, 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

December 2013-September 2014: Put on Xanax after a reaction to the Lexapro, averaging .50-1mg per day. Switched to Clonazepam-midway averaging about 0.25-0.50 daily.

June 2014: Jan/Feb 2015: Put on 7.5 Remeron titrate up to 41.25mgs

September 2014-July 2015: Put on 25mgs of Lamictal titrate up to 200mgs daily. Also stopped the Clonzepam- never felt the wd I had experienced when I tried to stop it before (knowing nothing about withdrawal) because the Lamictal calmed me down.

 

Currently: Tapering both medications together using micro cuts. Started tapering Remeron in January 2015, Started tapering Lamictal July 2015 Main wd symptoms-sweating, nausea, headaches, deep crying, anxiety. 12/21/16 Remeron 1.6 Lamictal 22.50 mgs 1/19/17 Remeron 1.2mgs, Lamictal 22.50mg 2/12/17 Remeron 1.2 Lamictal 21.25 mgs 3/4/17 Remeron 0.85 Lamictal 21.25 3/14 Remeron 0.85 Lamictal 20mgs 3/22 Remeron 0.45 Lamictal 20mg 3/25 Remeron 0.45 Lamictal 18.75mgs 3/30 Remeron 0.025 4/7 Lamictal 18.75mgs Remeron 0.025

 

4/7/2017 Remeron Free stopped at 0.025mgs

 

Additional Support: Acupuncture with Reflexology, Alanon, L-Theanine for anxiety as needed, Estradial patch 0.025, Bio-indentical Progesterone cream 150-200 Armour Thyroid 90mgs.


#3 bhasski

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Posted 11 February 2017 - 03:19 PM

Wish you very best and healthy future.
Can you tell if any sort of supplements help you as I am going through severe insomnia , fatigue, low blood pressure, apathy etc.

Its been 13 months that i left paxil and overall 10 months of any psych meds..

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda

#4 DrugfreeProf

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Posted 11 February 2017 - 04:18 PM

Thank you so much for sharing that good news about your recovery. It confirms what all of us are hoping for and believe will happen--that the windows will become longer and more frequent, and the waves shorter and more infrequent. Slowly but surely, improvement seems to come.

I will say again--my own philosophy is that, in withdrawal, measure progress in thimble-fulls not in measuring cups.


Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.


#5 LexAnger

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Posted 11 February 2017 - 07:23 PM

Thank you so much aissela for sharing your healing progress and success recovery! It gives hope and strength to So many of us here to continue the battle!

How was your congnitive function during the WD?

Wish you all the best and continuous and speedy healing!

Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#6 Aissela

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Posted 12 February 2017 - 01:17 AM

Hi Lexanger, thank you for the reply. I think I had a lot of cognitive problems. My memory first, then my brain was very slow in processing the information. I wasn't able to think clearly and to speak properly. I've lost my sense of humor and it was surely linked to my temporary "stupidity" . I also had and partially have, some problems with the inhibition and other behavioral abnormalities. Especially in the interaction with people. Something in the ability to understand others and to be understood is not working, but I don't know how to explain it. The I had problems with my eyes, it was like to look at the world in low definition.

#7 LexAnger

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Posted 12 February 2017 - 10:27 AM

Aessela,

You are so kind to take time helping out!

I am so familiar with what you described and still experiencing them everyday. Are those all gone now? When did you start getting back your congnitive thinking back to normal?

Best wishes,
Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#8 Aissela

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 12:20 AM

LexAnger,

helping people in wd is a pleasure and a duty for me. Anyway, I started to see cognitive improvements on month 5/6 but it is very hard to remember every step of the process. I think you know how it works, you can have a new symptom on month 9 and then it just disappear. All I can say is that I had constant and gradual progress, especially in the second year. Now I have my sense of humor back, my brain is doing well but not as It was before. I think is 70/80%. But as I told you, I'm tapering my benzos and getting symptoms from it, mainly cognitives. So, I'm not completely recovered but this is not entirely related to the WD.

#9 raven530

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 09:18 AM

Wow you seem to have had my exact symptoms. I'm a year into withdrawal from Sertraline, an I am functioning better cognitively but haven't seen much improvement in libido or anhedonia. Your post gives me hope. Did you have any problems with imagination?


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#10 Madeleine

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 10:16 AM

How long did you taper?


March 15/2017: 3.75 zyprexa; January 16/2017: 6.25 mg; down from 10 mg December 2016
200 zoloft. Tapering that next.


#11 powerback

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 10:48 AM

Well done on your recovery aissela .I have many of the same symptoms as u do

I said good by to my doctor  ,I love that bit of your post .I believe this was a huge positive change for myself ,getting away from my doctor and taking my power back ,I'm a long way from 0 drugs [on 37.5 at the moment].

knowledge is power,i wish for everyone on this site to read or listen and learn everything about there situation it can only help and empower them .

thanks for sharing .


21​/06/2012 citrol10mg for stress, constant urination ,diazepam 2mg 26/07/2012 .12/07/2012 citroll 20mg,

​24/09/2013 Lexapro 20mg.didnt take them for a week during this year felt extremely strange ,had no idea down to drugs at the time .

​20/10/2014 venlafaxine xl 75mg.09/01/2015 venlafaxine xl 37.5. questioned doctor about drop in dose ,I was told no problem.

​13/04/2015 venlafaxine xl 150mg NEVER TOOK THEM getting wise?.20/04/2015 venlafaxine xl 75mg.19/08/2015 Xanax 250mcg [agitated]

​10/06/2015 venlafaxine 37.5mg.02/03/2016 five beads out for taper only lasted till 06/06/2016 extreme irritability and anxiety. 

​11/11/2016 Xanax 250mcg took them for few days ,fairly distressing time [working nearly impossible].11/11/2016 I was given a prescription for  Zyprexa 2.5mg AND DECIDED  NOT TO GET IT FROM CHEMIST.[my doctor gave them a great sales pitch ,talking about other patients that have benefited ,in witch it just annoyed me ]


#12 LexAnger

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Posted 13 February 2017 - 04:34 PM

Thank you again aissela for responding to my questions!
It gives me hope too. My congnitive problem is the most worrisome symptom of all, even the others are lots more tourturing.
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#13 Aissela

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Posted 14 February 2017 - 01:51 PM

To Raven530:
what do you mean exactly with "problems with imagination"?

To Madeline:
If you're referring about the Paxil taper, I did it in one month.

To LexAnger:
I'm really sorry for your situation, I would like to help you but I can't. The only think that I can tell you is that there's hope and I'm the proof, I'm sure it will get better for you too. Anyway, how long have you been in the WD? Which kind of cognitive symptom are you experimenting?

#14 raven530

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Posted 15 February 2017 - 04:15 AM

Troubles with visualisation, like I used to have vivid immersive daydreams nonstop, but now when I try to even picture an every day object like an apple in my mind it's blurry


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#15 Deise

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 04:56 PM

Hi Aissela :)

I am relatively close to you since I am from Portugal and I am taking fluvoxamine.
Did you also have anhedonia while on the meds or just withdrawal?
That is what bothers me most but I am still taking fluvoxamine. I sometimes can't feel anything for anyone and no purpose because of the lack of emotions.

Glad you recovered :)
2001 - 2004 (9yrs to 12 yrs old): Clomipramine (don't remember dosage).
2013: Sertraline on September but stopped after two weeks. Xanax for 3 months (late september to december). Two days of terrible withdrawal insomnia and panic but stopped.
2014 - 2015: Luvox 50mg (february 2014 to june 2015).
2015 - 2016: Luvox 25mg (june 2015 to april 2016). Started to taper in April, taking one every other day for a week, one every two days. Severe dp/dr, anxiety and panic attacks.
2016 - 2017: Reinstated Luvox 50mg in June. Started to feel very depressed and anhedonia. Thoughts of suicide that scared me.
January 2017 - present: Tapering Luvox. 37.5mg at the moment. Feeling better!

#16 Aissela

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 01:17 AM

Hi Deise,

thank you for the reply.
I didn't have anhedonia when I was taking the fluvoxamine, but my personality was really changed. Infact I had bipolar hypomania and lack of appetite. I was very angry and couldn't spleep. My anhedonia stated only during WD.

#17 theloneranger86

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 10:00 AM

Hi all, I'm 24 from Italy and I'm sorry for my English, I'll do my best. I want to share my story because I think this could give hope to other people.

I've been on fluvoxamine for six months in 2013 and stopped in the early 2014 and after a months my first withdrawal started. At that time I didn't know anything about withdrawal and my doctor told me I was bipolar. So, after three months of strange symptoms, he decided to put me on Paxil. The symptoms subsided very quickly and I took Paxil till February 2015 and again, after a months with no med, I had my second withdrawal. But this time fortunately I found this forum and i've been able to understand what was happening to my body. I said good bye to my doctor and I started my healing process alone.

I had a classical withdrawal with the pattern of windows and waves and all those symptoms morphing month by month: Panick attacks, DP/DR, anhedonia, weight loss, couldn't go out, memory loss, mood swings, sensation of burning brain, no libido, insomnia but also lethargy, light sensitivity and so on...The first year I've been like a vegetable, in my bedroom all the day, unable to function and also to empathize with my family or my dog. But I have to say that my first window started very soon, maybe after three months in the withdrawal and I've seen a lots of improvement also during the first year. Slowly the windows have become frequent and longer while the waves have become less intense and shorter. Anyway i'm not able to tell you specifically how my symptoms have changed every month because I can't remember and frankly, I prefer to forget it. All I can say is that during the second year my emotions started to came back and the panic attacks subsided completely, but i've seen also a constant improvement of all the other symptoms.

Now I'm on month 23 and I can go out when I want, I'm doing sport, I have my sexuality back, I can empathize with people, I'm sleeping very well. I can hit a short wave every two or three months, especially after a stressful period. It last one or two weeks and generally my only symptoms are extreme tiredness, fatigue and low moods. Of course I'm not completely recovered but I'm also doing a very slow benzo's taper and I'm sure that part of my residual symptoms are from it.

So, all I want to tell you is that there is hope. It is a long and painful process but as I've seen, the brain is really able to heal itself and time will adjust everything.

hey 

So happy to hear about someone recovering. Just a question on how things began to come back . Say for example sexuality, did it return overnight or were there gradual improvements over time  ?



#18 Aissela

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 11:54 PM

Hi theloneranger86,
everything has come back very gradually, emotions, sexuality, energy ecc...Even now that I'm recovered, I can see new little improvements month by month.

#19 Aissela

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 11:57 PM

To Raven539

Maybe my imagination/visualization was compromised, but not as your and surely it wasn't my main concern.