journey: introduction

[journey]

Hi everyone, 

 

Just found this forum and it is so awesome.  I want to come off of my medication and have started a taper of the antidepressant.  I have come off of this before and when the taper was about complete I had a massive bout of anxiety and mania.  Now I realise that this must have been a delayed reesponse to coming off of the medication.  At the start of coming off I felt very vulnerable and raw and this slowly built up to sessions of sobbing and then came the anxiety and panic, constant worry and paranoia, never have I experienced anything like this!!! It got to the point nowhere I did not want to live anymore because I could not handle living with adrenalin waves surging through my body all day long.....seemed to be able to sleep though which was strange.  Luckily I had a unused tray of previous antidepressants in my drawer, started taking them again ( I was too paranoid to go to the doctor) I believe this saved my life at the time.  after a few months of antidepressant I was high as a kite...it was pretty fun, but got to be a pain after a while.

 

Then enter the psychiatrist, which my mother paid for because she was sick of me ringing up every day and sobbing on the phone.  Got diagnosed with Bi polar.  Its all through my family.  The doctor upped my initial dose and I started having 2 hour long panic sessions, hiding in my bed.  Then came the mood stabilisers.  This calmed down the panic and my rollar coaster mood swings.  I was able to parent my children and work, so I am grateful for this, but always in the back of mind I wanted to come off.  

 

I have found that my impulsivity and lack of wanting to deal with reality, has led to illicit drug use on top of psych meds to self medicate.  I am scared that if I dont sort my self out that I will end up in a very bad way. I am clean off of all ilicit drugs for 3 months now and feeling like my normal medicated self.

 

At the moment I am pretty up and down with my mood (4 seasons in one day)  I would like to come off because I seem just as mental as I was before I started and my doctor would like me to switch to something else.  Oh to be off this stuff, Im really excited to find some great online support.  Im just about to leave my really stressful job working in mental health (funny isnt it), so I will have space to w/d in peace.  I would value advice on which to taper first antidepressant or mood stabiliser. Also how do I do a signiture? 

 

watch this space Journey

 

med history

 

2006  august started Paroxitene titrated up to 40mgs

2009 tapered off of Paroxitnene taper finished taper 20011 in january

2011 back on Paroxitine 2011 added lamictal 200mgs

2012 valium (dont know dose got from my mother)

until 2017 used prn for back sleeping nights

2017 feb started taper of 1/8th off paroxitine of my 200mgs

Edited March 4, 2017 by scallywag
tags

[ChessieCat]

Hi journey and welcome to SA,

 

As you have already discovered this is an excellent site, both for information and support.

 

I'll give you some links to check out and you can then ask questions and journal your progress here in your Intro/Update topic.  Click "Follow" top right and you will be notified when someone responds.

 

Instructions for signature:  Withdrawal History in Signature.  Please include details for the last 12-18 months of  all drugs, dates, doses and discontinuations & reinstatements.  If you can't remember dates, please write it as "early March" or "mid-August".  Please provide a summary of any drugs prior to that which can just be listed with start and stop years. Please include all prescription, non-prescription drugs and supplements you are currently taking. If you are using a phone there are instructions in Posts 9 & 10.

 

Before you begin tapering what you need to know

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?
If you're not having an adverse reaction from the other medications, taper the most activating drug first. This is usually an antidepressant or stimulant (ADHD drug).

 

Tips for tapering off Lamictal (lamotrigine)

 

Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

 

You might find these topics helpful:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

These helped me to understand SA's recommended 10% taper of the previous dose followed by a hold of about 4 weeks to allow the brain to adapt to not getting as much of the drug.  They have also helped me to stay patient:

 

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

[Altostrata]

Welcome, journey.

 

Are you taking 200mg Paxil? How often do you take Valium, and at what times of day?

 

Please keep daily notes on paper of your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. This will help determine what's causing what.

 

Do you still have surges of anxiety, and when?

[journey]

Thank you for the replies.  I get mainly anxiety first thing in the morning which wares off as the day progresses.  Then sometimes in the afternoon.  I have lost my mojo with medications.  I used to be incredibly fit and into adventure sports, but these days the couch/bed are my favorite places.  I really struggle to make myself walk or do anything physical. which is really frustrating for me as I love being outdoors.

 

I get Valium off of my mother when I am really low.  I am very affected by hormones and usually I get very low one or two nights a month.  The Valium ensures that I get sleep on those nights and everyone around me can tolerate me.

 

I am keeping a daily journal with the details of symptoms. So far everything is with in my normal range of mood. slightly more anxiety but that is easing.  One episode of flash anger.  

 

This forum is great, I thought I was really strange taking so long to taper off of medication and now I realize its normal!!

 

Thank you for all the hard work you all do supporting people and me!!

[Altostrata]

You're welcome.

 

How much Paxil are you taking now?

 

The early morning anxiety is caused by the normal cortisol surge, to which you have become hypersensitive. It is triggered by the sun coming up. You may be able to reduce it with blackout shades and curtains on your windows to keep out the morning light, plus using a sleep mask.

[journey]

hey there

Sorry for the late reply,  I have dropped down to 35mgs from 40mgs.  funny you should say about the black out curtains, I recently painted my room a darker colour and it has made a huge difference to my sleeping.  At the moment I have really bad jaw clenching, so I wake up with headache, sore teeth, sore face. I think im hunching my shoulders so my shoulders are aching all the time as well.  I have discovered I am clenching during the day and i didnt even realise it.  my sleeping is improving which is great, but sometimes not drifting off for a few hours.  Have you got any advice about the jaw clenching.  I am taking some omega oils and also magnesium.  which seems to help.  I used to get restless leg but that has more or less gone.

Thanks

Journey

[Altostrata]

If you further darken your bedroom, keeping out the early morning light, you may find you feel even better.

 

Please protect your teeth with a bite guard. The muscle tension and clenching are withdrawal symptoms. 

 

Acupuncture can help back pain. Are you spending a lot of time at the computer?

 

You may wish to take more fish oil and magnesium, see

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

The magnesium can help relax muscle tension.

[journey]

hey there,

I am taking flax seed oil as im vegan, but will take the fish oil if really need too.  I take magnesium.  At the moment I am getting restless leg and getting to sleep is very slow, not sleeping until 1 or 2.  I have just finished work so hopefully this will help.  I have just bought a mouth guard so seeing how that will go. ongoing headache everyday. I try not to spend too much time on the computer, why do you ask?  I have found that if I watch movies late then sleep is not good, someone told me it was the blue screen. Im really tired most of the time and life seems very dreary.  Having this site and the feedback is so wonderful.

Journey

[KarenB]

Alto was probably asking about time at the computer because if your posture isn't good, especially for longer periods of time, it can lead to back/shoulder/neck pain. 

[journey]

ok got the mouth guard and that is working, I am a lot more conscious of the clenching during the day so slowly getting better.  Thanks for the advice.  I seem to have stabilised from my last reduction its coming up time to reduce another 10%. I am worried about going down again.  I guess I am wondering about the next reduction.  Should I hold for a bit longer or taper some more?  I cant seem to get to sleep before 12 and wake up around 10 which I dislike because I usually like to get up around 6am it feels really strange getting up so late.  Maybe I am being a bit hard on myself.  I just hate missing so much of the day.  I have been exercising a bit more and that has been helping as well,  funny it coincides with feeling better.  Im so glad that I have found this site, so grateful to do this with good support.  Thank you all for the the comments and suggestions.  About to read anatomy of an epidemic.

Thanks again 

[Altostrata]

Don't worry about your next reduction. Do that when you've recovered from the last one and feel confident in reducing again.

 

How much magnesium are you taking, and when?

 

It sounds like your sleep cycle is a little off. You may wish to take a little melatonin at nightfall and turn off the lights to trigger sleep earlier. See 

 

What is the sleep cycle?
 
Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful
 
TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime
 

and other topics in Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems