MirtHurt: Too fast Mirtazapine taper, when might I stabilise after reinstating?

[MirtHurt]

Hi there,
I was put on Mirtazapine last year during a disastrously fast Diazepam taper that literally almost killed me. My WD symptoms were misdiagnosed as conventional anxiety and depression. They kept pushing the Mirt dose up until it reached 45mg, as of last April. In August I stopped tapering the Diazepam at 3mg (I had come from 35mg), and stopped having any benzo WD symptoms and I haven't had any since. I know far, far too much about benzo WD and 'tolerance withdrawal' etc and I am SURE that what I am currently going through is NOT benzo related. Until my shrink put me on a Mirt taper at the beginning of Feb I was rock solid. No WD of any sort. This is NOT benzo WD, just making that clear so we don't go down that rabbit hole
I wanted off the Mirt so he put me on a reduction schedule which was to alternate from 45 to 30 daily first week, then 45 one day, 30 two days second week. I made it half way through the second weetk when I started to get side effects: adrenal surges, dizziness, anxiety. I reinstated to 45 by the weekend so the taper only last about 11 days. Since then I have continued to have symptoms, most days, coming in waves. They're two fold: anxiety / dread feeling in the pit of my stomach, depersonalisation. And flu like symptoms: pounding head and feeling feverish, face gets very hot and visibly blotchy. I get some periods of relief like last night was pretty much symptom free...but back again today. This has come at a disastrous time for me, I have several meetings set up I must go to, as I have a chance of getting my beloved job back which I lost during the benzo hell. I desperately need to get back to where I was before the Mirt taper, when I was FINE. No symptoms at all. I know the taper was far too aggressive, I just couldn't believe I'd get unlucky with 2 different drugs. So I won't make that mistake again. I just need to get back to the point I was at before the taper. I was rock solid and had been for months and the only thing to change was the Mirt so I KNOW it's not anything else...I'm trying to avoid stress and not panic but that's easier said than done sometimes...I really don't need to hear any horror stories, I'm quite vulnerable and impressionable at the moment. Other forums have assured me I WILL stabilise and get back to where I was, if I just hold it at 45. I am praying that is the case. If I can't get stable again, I'm going to lose everything. Any chance of resuming my career, possibly home and marriage.
Thank you all for your time, I'd really appreciate your support and expertise.

Edited March 8, 2017 by scallywag
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[Santino]

Hi MirtHurt

 

I am writing to you in the other forum as well... :-) from your second to last sentence i notice a sense of catastrophic thinking... Why should you worry yourself that you will loose career and then home and marriage...??!!! You are just haveing a rough spot buddy. I think you will be stable soon. It is just a difficult moment and time in your life but IT WILL PASS.

I think some moderator will offer you help here soon but just try to enter as less as possible in the forums. When this all started i was a full time browser in different forums and this thing made the things worse. Try to avoid horror stories and remember you have not used Mirtazapine for a long time so it will be easier for you to get off. Now just focus on stabilizing. Every bad day will pass, it has no chance. You are doing quite good actually, aiming for your job as well. 

Good luck buddy

[MirtHurt]

Thanks. I know it might seem like catastrophic thinking but the benzo WD hell was so bad that I nearly did lose the lot...I lost the job, and it was an amazing one I'd done for 20 years...and I really thought I was finished. But then when I'd recovered from the benzo taper and thought I'd hop off the Mirt, BLAM! Right in the middle of a series of meetings with work I'd set up when I felt good enough to go back freelance...I will only get one chance at getting my job back. It's the only job I CAN do and I'm v good at it. It's an amazing job. It tore me to pieces to lose it and I'm amazed my marriage survived. It won't survive another period of me being horrendously ill in WD (tho the Mirt WD isn't as nightmarish as the benzo WD which was pretty much impossible to describe adequately) and if I don't get the job back, we could lose the house. That's why I'm spooked. If it seems like catastrophic thinking, that's because I've been through one utter catastrophe already...I can't face another. My taper was only 11 days all in, and yes it was BIG cuts...but I'd really hoped that 3 weeks after reinstating I'd be doing better than this. I can't believe after all I went through before I listened to another doctor. What was I thinking of? At least this guy completely accepts it IS due to the taper...that's a first in my saga. And supported me in reinstating as soon as it got bad.

[MirtHurt]

(Another first)

[MirtHurt]

I just read this on the stickied topic and it has frankly terrified me. I know I can't face years just to recover from this taper. Can't do it. Have been through too much.

 

'A big dose or big change probably will cause a worse bad reaction than a very small dose or change. You can injure your nervous system pretty badly with a big change -- it might take you months or years to feel better.'

[MirtHurt]

If there is any reassurance to be had out there, I could sure use a little, after reading that..

[MirtHurt]

Just another thing... I am obv taking 45 mg daily. I will soon run out of 45mg tablets, and will only have 30mg and 15mg tablets which my shrink gave me to taper with. The 30 and 15 pills are made by different manufacturers, and in turn the 45s by another manufacturer...my shrink thinks I will be fine just taking a 30 and 15 together to make up the 45. He laughs at any suggestion the different manufacturers might make a difference to how I feel...what do you think? It's adding to my stress :/ thank you

[scallywag]

MirtHurt -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

It's good that your doctor was responsive to your report of symptoms with the alternating doses. You may not have difficulty when you take the 2 generic tablets (30 mg and 15 mg). Some people are sensitive so we mention it as something to watch for. You might try the combo for a few days while you have a week or 2 of the 45 mg tablets on hand. That way if you have a reaction, you can switch back and call or meet with your doc for a new prescription. Here's hoping it's clear sailing for you.

 

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
• You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
• If you are using a phone or mobile device, you need to switch to the "full" or desktop version of the site. Instructions are in Post 9 and Post 10

A few links:

Before you begin tapering -- what you need to know.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.

Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

 

Please have a create a signature, have a look at the topics I've posted. Let us know how things go for you.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Mirt.
 
It may take some time for your nervous system to settle down from the attempted taper uproar. Most likely, the bad waves will get less severe and less frequent. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Please take care of your nervous system by not taking on too much at once. If you go back to your job, don't overdo it and your other responsibilities. Do it in a measured way, don't overextend yourself as might have before. Listen to your body and let it be your guide.

 

Be mindful but try not to worry. Meditative breathing can help you get through this.

 

Many people do better with these supplements

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

Try a little bit of each separately at first, to see how they affect you.

[MirtHurt]

Thanks for the replies. I did add my drug history in the box when I registered but I'll have to update it properly as you recommend.

My current objective is not to taper any of the drugs I am on, I just want to get back to the place I was before that disastrous Mirt taper was abandoned. I was doing great. I absolutely must get back to work in the not too distant future. My family's future depends on it. I was doing so well until I decided to try that taper and it's really flattened me that this has happened. I need to stabilise and live my life again (back to work)...then at some point I will reconsider tapering, but only at the very slowest rate possible as I must remain functional. I'm dismayed that ten days of alternating doses still has me suffering so much more then 3 weeks after I stopped. It seems my anxiety is a little less but it's been replaced with, or rather joined by a depression which is equally unpleasant. I'm taking cod liver oil and omega 3. I can't believe after all I've been through before that I thought I could trust a doctor again! Sheer idiocy on my part. I'm paying a heavy price.

[scallywag]

How are things going, MirtHurt?

[MirtHurt]

How are things going, MirtHurt?

Hey there.

 

Still not right. Not at all sadly

Symptoms dominated by a sense of 'spaciness', DR/DP, dizziness (or 'Boatiness as some call it), anxiety in mornings...symptoms maybe slightly less severe than when I posted. Still bitterly regret being so damn stupid with that taper. It's cost me hugely. Just hoping and praying that I will finally stabilise and get back to where I was...thanks for asking

[scallywag]

MIrt - would you please create a medication and withdrawal history signature?

 

A request: Please summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
• You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
• If you are using a phone or mobile device, you need to switch to the "full" or desktop version of the site. Instructions are in Post 9 and Post 10

[MirtHurt]

Ok there's my sig. I'm also on BP meds (ibersartan) and have been on and off a statin Atarvostatin, should they be in there?

 

All of the psychiatric drugs which were prescribed to me were because of varying degrees of benzo WD. I only worked that out too late and the doctors I was dealing with didn't recognise benzo WD. They were trying to treat 'conventional 'anxiety', ''depression' and insomnia. I was stupid to allow such a battery of drugs to build up but at the time I was EXTREMELY sick in benzo WD and took anything that was given to me. I was desperately ill, vulnerable and ignorant.

I've only continued to take all those drugs because I'm terrified what would happen if I stopped them. Then I found a very supportive private specialist who got the benzo thing but convinced me that the Mirt taper he was proposing was 'slow and steady wins the race'. I can't believe I trusted him. I just wanted to get off the drug before going back to work. I should have left everything as it was, I was absolutely fine from the time the Diaz taper ended until the Mirt taper began. Several months absolutely symptom free.

 

I know I shouldn't have got on all these pills but in 2016 in particular I can't over state how ill I was in benzo WD. I was acutely suicidal, every day was a further descent into a hell I did not know could exist. I nearly lost everything. I did lose my career. I was about to be given one last chance to get it back when the Mirt taper floored me. My marriage is hanging by a thread. My family is utterly broke, I was the main breadwinner.

 

I KNOW I shouldn't have taken all those drugs, now. I would just ask that anyone responding to this try to do so in as non alarmist way as possible. I have been scared to put this sig up. I know it's bad. I am again in an extremely vulnerable and suggestible state. If I can't arrest this Mirt WD I could lose absolutely everything. I have been through so much loss and pain through these drugs.

 

I don't want to come off any of these drugs any more, I dont care if l have to take them until I die, I just want to get back to where I was before the Mirt taper, when I could have worked again. I have lost too much of my life tapering drugs. Or at the very least, I need a period of stability where I can rebuild my life and then at some point in the future very, very slowly start to unpick them. Thank you.

[MirtHurt]

Tonight my main symptoms are dizziness, 'boatiness', flushed red face and ringing ears...and anxiety, but that's because of the symptoms and thinking about them, rather than 'chemical' anxiety...I'm dizzy even tho I'm sitting down!

[MirtHurt]

Sorry, I know all this sounds over sensitive, and actually ungrateful, i don't mean to. I'm just in a really bad state over this.

[Survivor1]

Hello MirtHurt,

 

Sorry about the hard times you are having.  I dropped a very low dose of mirt (from 2.4 to 2.23) and experienced SEVERE wd sx's.  Took me almost a month to stabilize after reinstating after just two days on lower dose.  You dropped by a large amount and was at a lower dose for several days, so it may take a while to stabilize.  

 

I wanted to let you know that YOU WILL STABILIZE.  My symptoms were so severe (anxiety and depression) that I could not see myself improving and felt I will never be better again, but I did improve. Hang in there, you will get better, but be prepared that it may take a while.

 

I know the place you are in, feeling that you will fall apart at the slightest touch.  Of all the drugs I am on, reducing mirtazepine has been the most hair-raising.  Be patient, you will feel better.

 

I wish you the best.

[MirtHurt]

Thanks it's just come at an absolutely disastrous time for me. But as long as I can believe that I will stabilise, I have something to aim for. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about and I desperately do not want to go to that dark place again

[MirtHurt]

Silver star did you do anything to help cope while you waited for stabilising?

[Shep]

Hi, Mirthurt.

 

Thank you for entering your drugs into your signature. This is very helpful. 

 

Please do add your blood pressure tablet and statin into your signature. It's best to have all of that information at a glance.

 

I placed all of your drugs in a drug interaction checker and pasted the information for:

 

diazepam

amitriptyline

mirtazapine

quetiapine
irbesartan

atorvastatin

 

 

You may be dealing with quite a number of interactions. 

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

Major amitriptyline  mirtazapine

Applies to: amitriptyline, mirtazapine

Using amitriptyline together with mirtazapine can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate amitriptyline  diazepam

Applies to: amitriptyline, diazepam

Using amitriptyline together with diazePAM may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate mirtazapine  irbesartan

Applies to: mirtazapine, irbesartan

Irbesartan and mirtazapine may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate quetiapine  irbesartan

Applies to: quetiapine, irbesartan

QUEtiapine and irbesartan may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate diazepam  irbesartan

Applies to: diazepam, irbesartan

Irbesartan and diazePAM may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate mirtazapine  quetiapine

Applies to: mirtazapine, quetiapine

Using QUEtiapine together with mirtazapine can increase the risk of an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious and potentially life-threatening, although it is a rare side effect. You may be more susceptible if you have a heart condition called congenital long QT syndrome, other cardiac diseases, conduction abnormalities, or electrolyte disturbances (for example, magnesium or potassium loss due to severe or prolonged diarrhea or vomiting). Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. You should seek immediate medical attention if you develop sudden dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, shortness of breath, or heart palpitations during treatment with these medications, whether together or alone. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate amitriptyline  quetiapine

Applies to: amitriptyline, quetiapine

Using QUEtiapine together with amitriptyline can increase the risk of an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious and potentially life-threatening, although it is a rare side effect. You may be more susceptible if you have a heart condition called congenital long QT syndrome, other cardiac diseases, conduction abnormalities, or electrolyte disturbances (for example, magnesium or potassium loss due to severe or prolonged diarrhea or vomiting). Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. You should seek immediate medical attention if you develop sudden dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, shortness of breath, or heart palpitations during treatment with these medications, whether together or alone. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

 

Moderate diazepam  quetiapine

Applies to: diazepam, quetiapine

Using diazePAM together with QUEtiapine may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

 

Moderate diazepam  mirtazapine

Applies to: diazepam, mirtazapine

Using diazePAM together with mirtazapine may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Moderate amitriptyline  irbesartan

Applies to: amitriptyline, irbesartan

Irbesartan and amitriptyline may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

 

[Shep]

In addition to the above drug interactions, it's possible that by taking 4 psychiatric drugs that are sedating, you may be getting a paradoxical reaction -  the nervous systems struggles against this because it's being over-suppressed. So instead of sedating you, it ramps up the nervous system, causing anxiety and insomnia. 

 

Please write out the time of day or evening you take your drugs and what symptoms you have. Please also include your blood pressure and any other drug, along with any supplements. Please use this format:

 

Keep notes on paper about your drug dosages and daily symptom pattern

 

This is important because you may be able to change the timing of your doses and lesson the paradoxical effect, but we need to have this information first. 

[MirtHurt]

Yeah I was aware there were possible interactions. But i was absolutely FINE before the Mirt taper. Honestly. No symptoms. Zero. I was myself.

[MirtHurt]

I'll do the diary - thank you!

Over how many days should I keep it before posting?

[Shep]

Yeah I was aware there were possible interactions. But i was absolutely FINE before the Mirt taper. Honestly. No symptoms. Zero. I was myself.

 

 

I think you rattled your nervous system when you did the alternative dosing. This may have happened anyway, as it's a clear signal that your nervous system was becoming more imbalanced. So any change - drug change, life stressor, etc. - could have caused this with the number of drugs added into the mix. 

 

It's important to pay attention to these red flags and take the necessary actions. It could save your life. 

 

Now you know that your nervous system is struggling, so you'll want to do as much self care as possible. 

 

 

I'll do the diary - thank you!

Over how many days should I keep it before posting?

 

 

Please go ahead and start it today and update it daily. 

 

I've asked the other moderators to have a look over your recent posts. Over the next few days, hopefully we'll have a better picture and can make some recommendations. 

 

Thanks again for adding this information. 

[scallywag]

MirtHurt - we ALL started taking these medications because we were in a situation that we found unmanageable and because we unquestioningly trusted medical professionals. Do your absolute best to forgive yourself and to let that decision go -- it's in the past.

[MirtHurt]

Can you see my point about the potential inter drug reactions tho? Honestly, I had not one single symptom between my benzo taper stopping and stabilising in mid August, and the Mirt taper in Feb. Nothing. Even tho i was taking all those drugs.

[MirtHurt]

Sorry I added the last post before realising you'd replied above.

[MirtHurt]

MirtHurt - we ALL started taking these medications because we were in a situation that we found unmanageable and because we unquestioningly trusted medical professionals. Do your absolute best to forgive yourself and to let that decision go -- it's in the past.

I know it's just that I was good to go with work, my last chance at it...I'd set up all these meetings with former colleagues while I was well and I've had to go through with them feeling really ill, but the whole premise of those meetings was that I was back, and well (and I was).

I have another on Thursday, then another next week :/

I definitely don't want to taper at the minute and I don't think I can. I have to stabilise. I can't express how profoundly the loss of my job hit me. I have to get well enough to be able to start again. I can't tell them I'm ill because of other pills. They bought the benzos story but really, different pills this time?

I need to just get my equilibrium back so I can have another shot at my job. I'll do anything to help myself get there.

[MirtHurt]

In addition to the above drug interactions, it's possible that by taking 4 psychiatric drugs that are sedating, you may be getting a paradoxical reaction - the nervous systems struggles against this because it's being over-suppressed. So instead of sedating you, it ramps up the nervous system, causing anxiety and insomnia.

 

Please write out the time of day or evening you take your drugs and what symptoms you have. Please also include your blood pressure and any other drug, along with any supplements. Please use this format:

 

Keep notes on paper about your drug dosages and daily symptom pattern

 

This is important because you may be able to change the timing of your doses and lesson the paradoxical effect, but we need to have this information first.

Insomnia hasn't been a problem thankfully. And my anxiety has been more of a reaction to the other WD effects and being in WD again...tho i do find if I try to have a long lie in, I am woken with surges of 'chemical' anxiety.

 

But constant chemical anxiety was the worst part of my benzo taper, it was crippling...thankfully I don't have that.

[MirtHurt]

The worst symptom is really this incessant dizziness / head swimminess / DP...and just being more 'on alert' than I was before. I guess that IS anxiety...

[MirtHurt]

I just have to stress tho, regardless of the drug interactions (which I've known about for some time) , I simply cannot taper anything until I have stabilised again. It's not practical. At the minute I am functional, just. I can't end up as I was during benzo WD, an invalid.

[Shep]

Many members go on long holds, MirtHurt, so please don't feel pressured to taper. 

 

It's important to get a list of your symptoms, though, as you are dealing with quite a large cocktail of drugs and as you've already seen, your nervous system is putting up some red flags already. If you do start experiencing more symptoms, it will be easier to handle if you can establish any patterns now. 

 

 

 

The worst symptom is really this incessant dizziness / head swimminess / DP...and just being more 'on alert' than I was before. I guess that IS anxiety... 

 

 

Here is some information on the dizziness-type symptoms. I'm not sure it's what would be called typical "anxiety", but rather signs of a destabilized nervous system and the effects on the vestibular (inner ear) system. 

 

 

Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness etc.

 

[Shep]

Also, dizziness can be from the drug interactions, as decreased blood pressure can cause this, as well. 

 

All the more reason to take charge and find out as much as you can about these drugs so you can make the best decision for now and for in the future. 

 

Please keep updating. 

[JanCarol]

Hey MirtHurt -

 

It sounds rough - personally, I was driven suicidal by the combination of a stomach acid blocker, a statin, and lithium.  You may believe that you were "fine" until the Mirt taper, but how much of your side effects from the other drugs might the Mirt have been numbing out, covering up?

 

The worst symptom is really this incessant dizziness / head swimminess / DP...and just being more 'on alert' than I was before. I guess that IS anxiety...          

 

Actually, if you look at / listen to this:

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

you can learn that physical responses - dizziness, heart pounding, nerves jittery, stomach tight - are natural cortisol reactions.  You don't have to diagnose that as "anxiety."  It's just your body reacting.  You don't need to react when your body does.  Just acknowledge, "My body is reacting" and be curious about the experience.  Get out your diary and write:  sweaty palms, dizzy head, faint when I stand up, whatever the symptom is that you are experiencing.

 

And remind yourself:  this is just withdrawal.  You can do this, and it does get better.

 

I see that other mods are recommending a hold.  I'm a big fan of holds, for stabilising symptoms and taking the reins back.  It's much better if you have the reins, and can steer your experience, even when the horse (your body) is a bit wild at times.

 

It does get better, and I hope you see the sun today!

[MirtHurt]

It sounds rough - personally, I was driven suicidal by the combination of a stomach acid blocker, a statin, and lithium. You may believe that you were "fine" until the Mirt taper, but how much of your side effects from the other drugs might the Mirt have been numbing out, covering up?

I guess that's impossible to say, but at least I did feel fine then...it 'worked', whatever was happening.

I'm definitely going to hold, until I stabilise again. Thanks for your reply.

[MirtHurt]

Today has been mostly spentt feeling like I've got a heavy head cold...that 'boaty', head bunged up feeling, with attendant dizziness.

I have a very important lunch tomorrow with someone from my old place of work...I really can't appear out of sorts at it. But because I'm anxious about it, that will make it harder :/ I set this meeting up before the Mirt taper made me ill and I have already postponed due to 'flu' once...can't back out again. The whole premise of the meeting is that I was ill from the benzos, but now I'm better (and I was). I just don't know what the hell to say! I'm not able to go back into my old employer as I am right now. I have no way of knowing when I will stabilise. It's like hideous external forces are trying to torture me to breaking point. When I lost my job it RUINED me. I nearly took my own life, I'm ashamed to say. I'd just been through so much hell with the benzos, desperately trying to get better in time, and I couldn't. Then I fell into a deep, deep depression, although all my WD symptoms had gone. And I tried to do that awful thing. Then in January I was persuaded that my career wasn't necessarily over. I told a lot of people what happened to me. They'd never heard of benzo WD, but because they trusted me (I was a full time journalist with one of the biggest names in broadcasting in the world), they bought it. But I can't now say that these OTHER drugs have made me ill, specifically the Mirt taper. Then it really will seem like I've just gone mad. All these people met up with me in January and went back to see my boss and said 'that guy went through hell, but he's himself again'. And he's waiting for me to call him. But I'm not well again and no one will understand. I simply could not have been more acutely psychologically and emotionally tortured by had someone set out to destroy me from the outset.

I'm not currently suicidal btw, so don't worry about posting any crisis line numbers or whatever. But if this episode of WD closes down my one last chance to get back to my job, a job I LOVED and which is the only thing I am good at (and I'm damned good even if I say so myself), I will go to an awful place. I just have no idea what to say to people, like tomorrow. They're gonna ask me how I am. What the hell do I say? That's rhetorical, there's no answer. I'm exhausted by this.