I've spent so much money on therapy for this kind of thing , and I'm baffled on how HARD it is to apply the necessary strategies in early wd. I'm guessing it gets easier in later stages of wd .
Yah, what helps most is to build up a practice. The practice gives you a savings account at your wellness bank, to draw upon in times of stress.
It IS hard to do Mindfulness while thrashing about with symptoms. But the moment you start feeling better, start again to build up a practice so that the next time you fall down, you can withdraw from your wellness savings account.
Examples of things that I have heard people being sensitive to when in withdrawal: Light, sound, rhythm, music, TV (fast screen switches), news, Facebook, gluten, dairy, cheese, smells, exercise, caffeine, alcohol. In fact, ALL recreational mind altering should stop: no alcohol, no recreational drugs, until you are stable.
Like with a dietary allergy, you may be able to bring these things back into your life later. So it's not like you're never going to eat pizza again - just maybe not while you are in withdrawal! You say you are eating, but I'm asking you to look at what you are eating.
Some of us can have immediate reaction: that cottage cheese made me feel funny, or for some reason I really like hot tea right now. 90% of our body's serotonin is in the gut - so paying attention to your gut is a key piece to healing.
if I reinstate and it fails does that mean I'm going to be so bad I cant leave the house ? I know nobody can answer that ..I actually get tremendous hope when people say if they were me they would tough it out , and when people tell me they would reinstate I feel panic ..
This may be your intuition guiding you. I will play "devil's advocate" to see how it feels. If I can soothe your fears, then maybe it's just panic and fear, and not your intuition.
A trial reinstatment of 1 mg Celexa might knock you about for a week or two if it fails, and you just quit it, and will likely settle down. And you will know that you tried, and whether or not it's a successful strategy. There are quite a few who have been relieved from reinstatement, like Addax, Jemima, Bayboy, and Weebles - and it's not like going back to square one. Tapering off of 1 mg, is much better than tapering off of 10, or even 5 mg.
Please note that I am not recommending a reinstatement of Lexapro, like DrugFreeProf suggests. I would not recommend that at this point.
Here's a way to look at it. July 2016 you started your fast taper. If you had been tapering 10% like we recommend here at SA, you would be at a dose of Lexapro of between 6.9mg and 7.4 mg, or higher. This is equivalent to between 13.8 mg and 14.8 mg of Celexa. So you see how tiny a dose I am suggesting?
Does that reduce the fear?
It is awesome that you are seeing bright spots, areas of functioning. It's amazing how well we can get by on limited functioning.
It's your choice. Let me lay it out:
1. Continue as you are, ride it like a bad roller-coaster that you got on, but there's no way to get off until the ride is finished.
3. Reinstate 1 mg Celexa (not Lexapro) to see if it makes the bumpy ride a little smoother.
You can do #2 - no matter what you do - the reason I put it in options like this, is that the window of opportunity for reinstatement may be closing (we never know for sure when that is), and working with mag and fish oil - normally my first recommendation - may delay your reinstatment too long.
So - how do you respond / react to my "devil's advocate"? (I'm not telling you to reinstate, I'm asking how you feel about reinstating, with a little more information to guide you)
ALWAYS, as Shep says, work on your Non Drug Techniques for Coping with Emotional Symptoms - find what helps you to feel better, and you will use these skills the rest of your life.
I hope you see the sun today!