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Alice1: Lexapro Withdrawal

escitalopram Lexapro

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#73 Alice1

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 07:36 PM

Blondiee - did you really have pizza for lunch ? I'm totally afraid of pizza. I'm afraid my head will blow up if I eat one slice. In fact my family and I went to the local pizza joint and I had a dumb salad. I'll never go on meds again .. In fact I'm not sure they did anything for me. I remember the start up anxiety lasting for months. My doctor told me that was normal and prescribed Ativan as needed. I had a friend who went through benzo wd so I was reluctant to take any. Never did , but I remember thinking "holy cow I need to suffer though this so called start up anxiety to get the therapeutic effect of this crap" ..it lasted for like 5 months. I'm not even sure it wasn't a bad reaction my body just eventually dealt with. No way did i think ADs were like benzos otherwise i would have tapered longer. .Ya. Facebook sucks right now. Everybody all happy and everything. ..puke. No I'm sorry. I'm being neg. Stop it Alice. BUT when I see a tough guy actin all tough and stuff I wonder how tough he would be if he had some DR/DP going on. And if he could still go to work with it plus 20 other symptoms like my friend blondiee does ;) .. You've actually inspired me to suck it up and work doing something. Light retail at the moment. My friends jewelry store. Lol. I used to be a kick ass contractor .. Building cool stuff. Working with tools. Arr arr arrr. Now I sell jewelry :-/ Oh well. Sending healing to ya.

SJ. - ya , that's a sad one. If I didn't have my daughter this would be a lot easier for me. Meaning I might not feel like such a failure right now but we will heal and get through this. I just know it. Sending healing.


Cat - yes I'm definitely looking for that balance that is tolerable..I believe it will help me heal better. Not sure if any faster but better. Thanks for the prayers. Sending healing.


Well folks I went to work and went on a sloooow smooth walk today. After 2 weeks of giant waves pounding me into the dirt today seemed a little more baseline .. Usual morning - feeling like I'm going crazy, tapering into restlessness and anxiety by lunch , easing up to DR by dinner and wearing off by bedtime. So let's do it again shall we. do we have to ? Yes we do !! Lol. ACCEPTANCE !!
December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg
August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

#74 LexAnger

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 08:49 PM

Hi Alice, I have been following you the whole time only that I have been too unwell to post. a bit better today feeling like to let you know that you have been very strong and you will be getting your health back just keep pushing each day like you did.

I survived all these years and still hang in all because I can't fail it completely for my son. Your love to your daughter will pull you out of the most difficult time even you feel impossible. I totally know how you feel about not being able to do much for her, but just being there for her is very important.

You are still a great dad with all your love even you can't do much as you wish to, and will be a greater dad when you get your health back after this experience.

Hugs,
Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#75 catnapt

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 04:00 AM

 

Well folks I went to work and went on a sloooow smooth walk today. After 2 weeks of giant waves pounding me into the dirt today seemed a little more baseline .. Usual morning - feeling like I'm going crazy, tapering into restlessness and anxiety by lunch , easing up to DR by dinner and wearing off by bedtime. So let's do it again shall we. do we have to ? Yes we do !! Lol. ACCEPTANCE !!

love your attitude Alice

 

I hope I can offer hope, I am now about er, 7  mos out from a bad crash after a cold turkey and reinstatement and am now slowly slowly tapering and I'm having shorter and shorter periods of that morning anxiety and longer windows. wish I could say it happened quickly, BUT the good news is, at least for me, the progress towards better days has been pretty consistent. I've had some waves but nothing like the horrible stuff I went thru back last fall- not even close. I'm very grateful for that, and I pray that your journey is as consistently positive, or more so

 

 


1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs

2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as  high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs

June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015:  found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs 

Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.

Oct 26 2016  reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves

Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)

Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15

Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia

March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20

March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)

Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine 


#76 Alice1

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 06:48 PM

Thank you Lex. Yes our children give us strength indeed. Although a lot of my depression is caused by not knowing when I'm going to be back to full daddy mode. Ya know ? Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you for the good vibes and prayers Cat. I really glad you're seeing improvements. I really appreciate it.


At work again today. Morning was a tiny bit better than usual but my night has been very fearful. Really trying to implement the mental activity and physical activity on a low level and build from there. Slowly.
December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg
August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

#77 Blondiee1915

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 10:16 AM

Hi Alice1 - how are you doing ? My mornings are usually rough and it typically gets better towards evenings .
  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other medications: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  
  • MOI Nardil  2014 - 2015
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid -June'16 with last dose in in July. Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

 

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, then increased to 5 mg  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, DP/DR

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety, DP/DR

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM.  Main symptoms: FATIGUE, dizziness, DP/DR, anxiety 

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate, Mitochondiral NRG (for fatigue)


#78 Alice1

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 01:40 PM

Hi blondiee
The last couple of days have been bad. Very disoriented and light headed .. I think it's DR but there's this difficulty focusing on anything thing going on. Lately I've been buying into my fears that this won't improve and that creates panic and despair. My rational mind says "relax , you're 8 months into CT withdrawal . Just hold on " but my irrational mind keeps saying "you CT'd you're doomed ".

I've read several stories saying that 9 months is when the serious stuff started , but when in the moment I have a hard time relaxing and going with the flow.

I don't want to be somebody who needs constant reassurance but I really really could use it right now. Especially from Alto and company.

How's blondiee doing ? I'm really glad we're friends on here. :)
December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg
August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

#79 Blondiee1915

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 02:02 PM

I think you are doing well . You had few good days which means they will come back . It is not like you CT and didn't experience any Windows but you have and you should try to remember that . It will definitely come back . Sometimes reading stories can be not so encouraging . I find myself doing that and thinking I am doomed . But in reality it is so individualistic and also dependent on how you handle WD . Are you going to sit and do nothing and wait for it to pass ? Are you going to try to stay positive do light exercise focus on positives eat healthy ? I think a lot of what we do and our attitude affects WD duration . It does not mean that you need your rest and be in bed and get emotional sometimes . But we do have to work hard to be healed . So I think you are over analyzing and getting ahead of yourself. You can't change the future and by worrying about it nothing will change, you will just create more anxiety . Are you doing any journalizing ? Sometimes it helps to see these small differences .
Here is more encouragement - you have been on medication for only few years, you are healthy otherwise, you started working , you even chain sawed 2 days ago (whatever the term is ), you had windows of clarity ! And you have your daughter to be that rock for you .

Blondie is doing so so . Today back at work also can't concentrate on things, restless , dizzy and tired . I was googling benefits at work today to see how many days I can get just in case . So normally I would be freaking out omg can I make it to work tomorrow bla bla . But now I am thinking I will see what happens tomorrow . I will do my best . I also have dp - it is scary . Try reading Shep's thread she had it very bad. Her writing is inspiration and encouraging . I had that pizza on Friday it was a big no no . Major headache the whole weekend, but better today . Back to the salads .
  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop.  Most lasted 3 months, was forced to reinstate due to severe symptoms 
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other medications: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil (each med about 2-4 months).  
  • MOI Nardil  2014 - 2015
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 

Started to withdraw from Vibryiid around mid -June'16 with last dose in in July. Felt pretty good for the whole summer. Some anxiety, dizziness, short fuse, some weakness but okay overall. Comes October - dizziness, spinning, off balance feeling, FATIGUE, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, insomnia, DP/DR

 

Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, then increased to 5 mg  Some relief, sleep better, severe DP/DR decreased.  Still very anxious, exhausted, dizzy. 

Switched 12/26/16 Luvox 50 mg (25 mg am and 25 mg pm).  Dizziness, exhaustion, anxiety, DP/DR

1/13/17 switched to one dose of Luvox 50 mg before bed.  EXHAUSTED, dizzy, weakness, off balance, anxiety, DP/DR

1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM.  Main symptoms: FATIGUE, dizziness, DP/DR, anxiety 

 

Supplements: iron, fish oil, vitamin D, methyl folate, Mitochondiral NRG (for fatigue)


#80 Alice1

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 08:17 PM

Ahhhh. Restless and dizzy. My two most pronounced symptoms. DR is always in there too. It's been awhile since I had a window. About 16 days. By tomorrow it will be the longest window drought of my experience which makes me nervous. Speaking of nervous ,I'm experiencing some internal shaking lately. It's almost like every nerve in my body is agitated. It's almost like my nerves are "charged up" with excess energy. I'm not sure if it's restlessness or hypersensitivity. Or both. It started two weeks ago around the chainsaw event. In fact this whole thing escalated big time after the chainsaw event. 4 days ago I thought this wave was dying down back to my baseline. Then I had an argument with my father. We argued for 20-30 minutes. Then this wave came back again. I'm still walking but only 15 minutes twice a day. Gentle gentle walking. Like a old man. My neighbors all know I'm sick but they don't know what from. No ask no tell. Let them guess. I just don't have it in me to stay in bed all day. I just can't do it. After reading CGs checklist I'm thinking I have to sedate my nervous system by locking myself up in my dark room for a year. Can't do it. Just can't. I'll go crazy. First year is the worst ? I guess. I've read so many stories from people who recovered or are recovering saying after 13-14 months they saw small progresses. This gives me the will to keep going and to plod along...
December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg
August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

#81 LexAnger

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 09:47 PM

Hi Alice, You mentioned in your initial post that you had burning. How is that going ?

Wish you faster healing and another window soon!

Lex
<p>2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg, first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, slight improvement with pain2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR2016 Feb., started fast taper for the drug toxicity caused by the one dose of 4.2mg, dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, sliding Down to 0.13mg by 2/13, then 0.07mg since 2/18, 0.06mg 2/20-3/17, 0.13mg 3/18

#82 Alice1

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 05:20 PM

Hey Lex ,
Hope you're hanging in there buddy. My symptoms change and morph everyday . However I haven't noticed the burning in a while , but wouldn't be surprised if I have it tomorrow . You know what I mean ? I do get aches and pains though.One day I'll be dizzy and depersonalized , then the next i'll have anxiety and restlessness .. Today I was ZONED OUT beyond belief , but only for the morning . That slowly turned into more of a despaired anxiety feeling . Now I'm in bed watching the Yankee game with a heavy head and shaky legs. Thank you for the window wish. I need one bad. Wishing you and everybody well ..
December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg
August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)





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