TryingToHoldOn

TryingToHoldOn: Sertraline - protracted w/d 6 months after last dose?

59 posts in this topic

On 6/11/2017 at 10:42 PM, jenthorz said:

When I was in my early 30's I went through this with Paxil. It was ripped away from me due to losing insurance and terrible loss of finances. My stomach cramped viciously every night for months. I lost 40 pounds. Leaving me at 98 pounds! That being said I want you to know it DID end. Slowly I had more good days than bad. Bit by bit the brain zaps we're less until there were none. I began to hold food down way more. It will get better. Hold on.

How long did this last?  Did you have any other symptoms?

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Update: 3 months med free

 

The saga continues.  Waves and windows.  The never ending hell.

 

Questions I repeatedly ask myself:

Am I insane?

Will I ever stop crying?

Will this torture end?

Will I heal?

How long will this last?

Why do I keep having suicidal thoughts?

When will the insomnia end?

Is it productive to visit this site?

Will it help my healing to 'push' myself?

Am I permanently brain damaged? 

How do I survive this?

 

The answer to my last question is quite simple...you just do.  Whether you want to or not.  I guess that's good and bad.  No effort on your part needed, yet paradoxically,  all the effort in the world required.

 

 

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47 minutes ago, TryingToHoldOn said:

How long did this last?  Did you have any other symptoms?

6 months. 3 first ones sucked the most. I did have days that weren't too bad. The stomach cramps were the worst part. 

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Trying,

 

You are off all meds.  Take heart in that.  Healing will come, but I know it's hard to see that when you are in the thick of it.

 

Am curious, when you rapid tapered setraline in the past (2014 per your signature), how long did it take you to recover?  Maybe look to that to give you some confidence that you will recover.

 

All the best.

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On 6/15/2017 at 10:02 AM, Survivor1 said:

Trying,

 

You are off all meds.  Take heart in that.  Healing will come, but I know it's hard to see that when you are in the thick of it.

 

Am curious, when you rapid tapered setraline in the past (2014 per your signature), how long did it take you to recover?  Maybe look to that to give you some confidence that you will recover.

 

All the best.

Survivor,

 

I am actually in protracted WD from my sertraline that I took from mid 2014 - July 2016.  My WD symptoms didn't start until 5-6 months after my one month taper in June.  I'm pretty sure that I'm also experiencing WD from the latuda as well since I was instructed to taper over 6 weeks, so I really don't have a baseline for recovery time yet. 😕

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Oops...meant my taper in July 2016

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Sorry to hear that.  I can only imagine what you are going through.  It has to get better, that is what I tell myself when it gets tough.

 

All the best.

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Hi.  I just need some support and reassurance.  i've read about windows & waves, meditation, mindfulness, take magnesium and fish oil, postitive thinking, etc.  in fact, I devour all the information I've read on this site, put them into practice and yet I still struggle so so much.  

 

It it blows my mind how parents can take care of their kids, how those without children can work a full time job, or go about their lives (errands,  family functions, 'living').  I can do that SOME of the time, but some days I am just rendered non-functional and I'm scared.

 

There are so many strong people on here and I feel like I'm missing something.  I know time is the ultimate healer and answer, but in the meantime how do I get to a place where I can be like the strong individuals who trudge through each day like a warrior?  Certain individuals that come to mind are: shakeyjerr, coldturkmama, pepita, waiting, and many many more.  I envy those who were able to reinstate and can now slowly taper.

 

Would love advice on how to make it through the really tough moments that leave me riddled with fear, panic and sobbing in bed.  I hate those days.

 

I pray for everyone's recovery and your strength to endure.  

 

Thanks for listening.

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Hello TryingToHoldOn,

I know what you mean, some people go through major trauma and still seem to have it all under control.  My first suggestion though would be don't compare your recovery to others' recovery. We all have different reactions to medications and different physical and emotional makeups. You are doing the very best you can do.  The fact that you are suffering and still posting on this site, and trying to get through each day makes you special in your own way.  I feel you pain. Know that you are appreciated for just being you and you will get through this.

Many kind thoughts and warm wishes,

RachelSusan

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Posted (edited)

I wanted to add something else.  For someone to experience Serotonin Syndrome is a huge deal.  You also have two young children you are caring for.  You have a lot going on in your life. Please recognize what you have been through and appreciate the enormity of it. It will take time for you to heal, but you will.

RS

Edited by RachelSusan
Forgot to add something

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I also wanted to thank all the moderators for their time and dedication to this site.  It takes a special person to help others especially when dealing with your own personal WD.

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32 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Hello TryingToHoldOn,

I know what you mean, some people go through major trauma and still seem to have it all under control.  My first suggestion though would be don't compare your recovery to others' recovery. We all have different reactions to medications and different physical and emotional makeups. You are doing the very best you can do.  The fact that you are suffering and still posting on this site, and trying to get through each day makes you special in your own way.  I feel you pain. Know that you are appreciated for just being you and you will get through this.

Many kind thoughts and warm wishes,

RachelSusan

Just posted on your thread.  You are a lovely person.  Thank you for your support.  

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Hi Trying

 

I know exactly how you feel as am going through the same right now.

 

Each day is a huge battle to get through and I look forward to late evenings when the symptoms subside a little.

 

But you are off the drugs and will gradually heal I am sure. Just take one day at a time. We mustn't lose sight that there is always hope for recovery no matter how long it takes.

 

In my thoughts.

 

Flowers xxx

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On 6/18/2017 at 1:53 PM, Survivor1 said:

Sorry to hear that.  I can only imagine what you are going through.  It has to get better, that is what I tell myself when it gets tough.

 

All the best.

Thank you.  One day at a time...:)

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On 7/3/2017 at 2:51 AM, Flowers said:

Hi Trying

 

I know exactly how you feel as am going through the same right now.

 

Each day is a huge battle to get through and I look forward to late evenings when the symptoms subside a little.

 

But you are off the drugs and will gradually heal I am sure. Just take one day at a time. We mustn't lose sight that there is always hope for recovery no matter how long it takes.

 

In my thoughts.

 

Flowers xxx

Thanks for you words of wisdom, Flowers.  I know that we're all in this together.  My pain is your pain and I've versa.  I hope that you're having better days and can't wait to celebrate with you when we've recovered. 🎉  IT WILL HAPPEN!

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IMG_4670.JPG

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After I had a c-section with my second child my doctor was called to an emergency situtuation.  Due to these unforeseen circumstances, she neglected to put an order in for pain meds.  I was taken to the recovery room and had to move myself onto a hospital bed. My epidural had worn off and I had not been administered any medication for pain.  It was an experience that I will never forget, but it was brief agony; and I survived.

 

 I would gladly subject myself to the above over and over again than endure this UNENDING WD torture.  It is too much.  I can't cope.  I just pray for the day to end and hope that I don't wake.  

 

I keep telling myself that this eventually ends and we all heal, but what if we don't?  Am I the only one who is scared beyond belief that this will never end?

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TryingToHoldOn, So many others here are frighted beyond belief. You are not alone.  I know I can't compare my situation with yours because I was able to reinstate, however I can share my experience.  Even after reinstating I went through the worst thing I ever went through in my life for another 5 months. It was indeed torture and I was frightened out of my mind.  I told someone close to me that it was a pain so bad that I couldn't even explain it.  For me the pain was on some deep molecular level that I couldn't even put into words.   I did recover however.  I am still on the Zoloft but down to 5.75mg.  However every single time I reduce I quake in fear that the symptoms will return.  I know it doesn't help you with the torture you are going through now, but know you are not alone.  Again my situation is a little different that yours but it did involve Sertraline (Zoloft), and I did go from the worst place possible to having a lot of healing. Hang in there, I really believe you will heal.

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Stay in the moment Trying. Nobody can cope with the future because it's imagination that can take you anywhere. Luckily you'll never have to deal with it. You only have to accept the current moment. If you live in synchronicity with life this way, you will heal faster. But again, get out of your mind to the now!

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Trying, I've just been reading your story, you were so kind to me a week ago when I needed to talk out loud, that's the hardest part, when you want to scream out loud about what you're going through, that this isn't you, that your brain is damaged and that you're scared, but you can't do any of those things because.. you're doing an amazing job, do you recognise the difference in space between th waves and windows? I have days when I can't even remember my wave a day prior, and then the wave returns.. I've had 3 waves this week, they always begin with anger and then a feeling like my brain is exploding, then tears, so much tears and the pain of the wave as it envelopes my body, it's nothing anyone could understand, I bite my lip until it bleeds and I imagine stabbing my leg to change the pain, then the calm comes and I forget.. I hope your windows are longer for you.. and by the way, your babies are just fine, they have their mummy xxx

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On 7/12/2017 at 0:58 PM, RachelSusan said:

TryingToHoldOn, So many others here are frighted beyond belief. You are not alone.  I know I can't compare my situation with yours because I was able to reinstate, however I can share my experience.  Even after reinstating I went through the worst thing I ever went through in my life for another 5 months. It was indeed torture and I was frightened out of my mind.  I told someone close to me that it was a pain so bad that I couldn't even explain it.  For me the pain was on some deep molecular level that I couldn't even put into words.   I did recover however.  I am still on the Zoloft but down to 5.75mg.  However every single time I reduce I quake in fear that the symptoms will return.  I know it doesn't help you with the torture you are going through now, but know you are not alone.  Again my situation is a little different that yours but it did involve Sertraline (Zoloft), and I did go from the worst place possible to having a lot of healing. Hang in there, I really believe you will heal.

RS,

 

I am so happy that so much healing has occurred for you.  It gives me great hope that I, too, will eventually get to where you're at in a much more convoluted way. :)  Thank you so much for taking the time to read my thread and offering encouraging words.  Xoxo

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On 7/12/2017 at 2:16 PM, miT said:

Stay in the moment Trying. Nobody can cope with the future because it's imagination that can take you anywhere. Luckily you'll never have to deal with it. You only have to accept the current moment. If you live in synchronicity with life this way, you will heal faster. But again, get out of your mind to the now!

miT,

 

Thanks for your wise words.  I will try to hold onto them at the height of my waves.  Hope you are doing well and thank you so much for the support.

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On 7/15/2017 at 4:47 AM, lookingforrainbows said:

Trying, I've just been reading your story, you were so kind to me a week ago when I needed to talk out loud, that's the hardest part, when you want to scream out loud about what you're going through, that this isn't you, that your brain is damaged and that you're scared, but you can't do any of those things because.. you're doing an amazing job, do you recognise the difference in space between th waves and windows? I have days when I can't even remember my wave a day prior, and then the wave returns.. I've had 3 waves this week, they always begin with anger and then a feeling like my brain is exploding, then tears, so much tears and the pain of the wave as it envelopes my body, it's nothing anyone could understand, I bite my lip until it bleeds and I imagine stabbing my leg to change the pain, then the calm comes and I forget.. I hope your windows are longer for you.. and by the way, your babies are just fine, they have their mummy xxx

I hope you are doing well.  Did you reinstate?  I do get times when the symptoms lessen and I can 'live' a somewhat normal existence.  They are short and I am always terribly disappointed when they pass.  Hopefully, more windows to come with longer durations as well.  Wouldn't that be lovely. :)

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