371 posts in this topic

Sorry you're going through this after you put in the time and effort to taper over 9 months. My best guess is that perhaps your withdrawal would be so much worse if you hadn't tapered at all or tapered faster!

 

I think perspective and distraction are vital to dealing with these mood changes. Yet, I find it almost impossible to handle the constant change. Yesterday morning was amazing then as the day progressed my wave appeared. Now I am barely functioning trying to deal with the aftermath of the wave and fearing the next one. Sometimes I am angry at the windows because they feel like false friends, they always disappear. It is so tiring dealing with the change. Acceptance doesn't come so easy when you're going through your nth transition from window to wave. 

 

I wish you all the will you need to avoid going back on an AD. I suppose in one sense I am lucky - the SSRIs never actually helped me. They made me sleep 12+ hours a day with lethargy in between. Sure, it made me less able to feel my anxiety but that was only because I was barely conscious. I still have such symptoms now but they are less due to a smaller dose. It is only CBT that has helped me cope with anxiety and depression; I still use it every day. 

 

Probably the only belief that keeps me going is imagining the wave as one step towards healing the damage done by bad tapering and withdrawal. Coming here helps too as I see hundreds of people going through pretty much the same thing as I am but in various flavors, intensities, and periods.

 

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I just wanted to express my frustration at the emotional changes involved with all this - they are iatrogenic which in my opinion makes them worse and so draining to handle!

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Sometimes I am angry at the windows because they feel like false friends, they always disappear. It is so tiring dealing with the change. Acceptance doesn't come so easy when you're going through your nth transition from window to wave. 

 

This right here - what you wrote, Kittygiggles - hits the nail on the head for me. I have been in a protracted anxiety wave of over a week now. But about 4 nights ago, something strange started to happen. After neuro-anxiety to the max all day, around 8pm I feel almost normal. Then it happens the next day. And the next. 

 

But it was a false friend who did not show up last night, In fact, last night I got an anxiety surge at the end of the night. There had been no change in my routine. BUT... my wife did ask if I would do a favor for her the next day (now today) that filled me with dread because it contained many triggers (change in my routine, an addition to my commute, and the potential to encounter a family member who might ask me questions I don't want to answer).

 

(For the full explanation of that, and some relationship questions, see my post at http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14533-what-do-you-do-when-they-dont-understand/#entry281679 ).

 

Anyway, I doubt my false friend named Window will be showing up tonight after I actually do the favor...

 

I need to remind myself to breath right now,

 

SJ

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I am new here, my name is Jodawoda. Neuro-emotion is a word I have not heard before, but I definitely understand the meaning. I am barely able to cope right now with primal feelings of rejection, helplessness and powerlessness. Oh yeah, add paranoid to the list as well. 

 

I don't know whether to go up or down of off meds (again) at this point. This feels a lot like a living hell and I have always considered myself to be a grown ass strong woman who can pretty much handle anything. 

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Why does it seem that all of the neuro-emotions we get in withdrawal are bad? Why don't we get neuro-happiness, and neuro-confidence?

 

Yeah, I know - that's mostly a rhetorical question. I know it has to do with the down-regulation of serotonin and norepinephrine. But I just wonder why, if our systems are in such a state of flux, we don't get the occasional up-regulation? I'm not talking so much like a window. I mean more like a goid neuro-induced emotion.

 

SJ

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SJ, you make me smile as I read this!!! Why? It seems I just asked our Lord this. I was feeling desperately sorry for myself and I said, why, why can't these neuro emotions be happy, good emotions??? I feel your question deep within. It sure would be nice wouldn't it!!!!

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Hi everyone, hope there is a ton of healing taking place for you. Haven't wrote on here in awhile but I do read and keep reading your helpful posts. I have to ask this question, in withdrawal do you think we can wrongly hear something or misinterpret something? My mind is coming up with a conversation that took place about 1.5 years ago and is now trying to replay it and remember details and because I can't remember them all it's making me so anxious. Any thoughts please. Thank you

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Don’t do this coopergirl. You’re just looking for a stick to hit yourself with. A mind set against itself will come up with interpretations that always justify the anxious state you’re in. It’s like an evil cooperation between mind and body. Don’t fall for it. Feel the anxiety, don’t analyze it.

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Thank you soooo much MIT!! I know you are so right it only feeds it

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Anybody ever get a neuro-hyper or neuro-manic?

 

I had my usual morning anxiety, a crying jag too, but now I am suddenly very upbeat to the point of thinking I am getting a bit hyper or manic?

 

Could it be that I'm just hitting a window and am not used to having energy and good thoughts? Or could this be a trick of the mind as it moves into some new phase of recovery?

 

SJ

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Have any of you had a feeling/state of afraid of being alone (like living/being home alone)? I'm not sure how to describe it - it's very scary, maybe it's a form of anxiety/depression?

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6 hours ago, marx said:

Have any of you had a feeling/state of afraid of being alone (like living/being home alone)? I'm not sure how to describe it - it's very scary, maybe it's a form of anxiety/depression?

 

Hi Marx -

 

This is rather common during withdrawal recovery. It's part of the anxiety, yes. The best way to combat it - other than going to find some people to be around, which is the best way - is to occupy yourself with whatever you can to help pass the time. I read a lot, or binge on Netflix. My suggestion is that whatever you chose to distract yourself, make it something that does not increase anxiety. Stay away from action shows, intense dramas, sad movies or books. Chose upbeat things.

 

Hang in there.

 

SJ

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