ShakeyJerr: Say hello

[ShakeyJerr]

15 hours ago, TryingToHoldOn said:

 Those bad waves can really bring you to your knees, but you're a survivor.  Hope you're having a better day!

 

Thanks. The anxiety keeps spiking, but I work my tools. It's the sudden crying spells that are really bothering me. That's one symptom I have not found a tool for yet, other than to just cry it out.

 

SJ

[TryingToHoldOn]

Unfortunately, that is one symptom that truly is uncontrollable.  You just have to cry and let it out.  It does get a little better in time: less intense, shorter duration, etc.  But, it's also a symptom that comes back and hits you out of left field.  I hope they are very infrequent for you, SJ.

[ShakeyJerr]

I hate that - at least for me - that withdrawal from these drugs often times exacerbates/enhances the worst parts of my personality. I am a chronic over-planner and I have a tendency to keep talking despite the requests of my loved ones to drop/table a discussion - both things that have become even worse during recovery. I suppose it is because anxiety causes the mind and the mouth to keep running well past the time that they should just stop.

 

SJ

[powerback]

4 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

I hate that - at least for me - that withdrawal from these drugs often times exacerbates/enhances the worst parts of my personality. I am a chronic over-planner and I have a tendency to keep talking despite the requests of my loved ones to drop/table a discussion - both things that have become even worse during recovery. I suppose it is because anxiety causes the mind and the mouth to keep running well past the time that they should just stop.

 

SJ

i can relate to this SJ .I found myself chatting too much to a sales assistant in the health shop yesterday ,but I said to myself that's enough leave ,I've read up on this and I'm practicing listening to people more than talking ,it takes  practice ,withdrawl definitely enhances this aspect of us .I've been working very hard on my moods also ,if I know ile be bad ile do everything to not expose loved ones to it anymore .

peace

PB

[ShakeyJerr]

1 hour ago, powerback said:

i can relate to this SJ .I found myself chatting too much to a sales assistant in the health shop yesterday ,but I said to myself that's enough leave ,I've read up on this and I'm practicing listening to people more than talking ,it takes  practice ,withdrawl definitely enhances this aspect of us .I've been working very hard on my moods also ,if I know ile be bad ile do everything to not expose loved ones to it anymore .

peace

PB

 

It brings me back to the question I posed in the thread on neuro-emotions: why are all of the neuro-emotions bad? Why don't we get neuro-peace, neuro-joy, neuro-rest? 

 

SJ

[powerback]

8 minutes ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

It brings me back to the question I posed in the thread on neuro-emotions: why are all of the neuro-emotions bad? Why don't we get neuro-peace, neuro-joy, neuro-rest? 

 

SJ

ye that's interesting ,humans seem to be hardwired to negative ,I think we have to learn to just find a more positive way and ignore certain thinking ,were do we start though ,ile have to watch loads of ted talks on it ,since the fact ile be off drugs and not drinking alcohol

witch was my way to cope for 15 years .

[Frogie]

Hi SJ:

 

I haven't seen you on in a while, so I was checking with you to make sure you are ok?

 

Have a great weekend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ShakeyJerr]

14 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Hi SJ:

 

I haven't seen you on in a while, so I was checking with you to make sure you are ok?

 

Have a great weekend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Hi Frogie,

 

Thanks for checking in! I've just been living life. Still get some anxiety symptoms. But I have been getting steadily better. Just trying to change my thinking by letting go of my "withdrawal identity" a bit. I still get triggered sometimes, so I have been hanging back from SA while trying to get to the next level of healing. I do read some people's updates, but have gone into a lurking mode.

 

Be well!

 

SJ

[Frogie]

7 minutes ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Hi Frogie,

 

Thanks for checking in! I've just been living life. Still get some anxiety symptoms. But I have been getting steadily better. Just trying to change my thinking by letting go of my "withdrawal identity" a bit. I still get triggered sometimes, so I have been hanging back from SA while trying to get to the next level of healing. I do read some people's updates, but have gone into a lurking mode.

 

Be well!

 

SJ

I totally understand. I haven't been on a whole lot lately either.

 

Hope you are healing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[powerback]

3 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Hi Frogie,

 

Thanks for checking in! I've just been living life. Still get some anxiety symptoms. But I have been getting steadily better. Just trying to change my thinking by letting go of my "withdrawal identity" a bit. I still get triggered sometimes, so I have been hanging back from SA while trying to get to the next level of healing. I do read some people's updates, but have gone into a lurking mode.

 

Be well!

 

SJ

Hi SJ hope you well .good on you having a break your always so kind with your time and support .

i need to take your own advice and hang back a bit myself ,I'm full of triggers but mostly connected  to the physical world .

The main thing over anything else is we have to respect others and them living there lives first .

take care .

PB

 

[ShakeyJerr]

Figured I would check in with an update...

 

I have been away from here, mostly trying to not be triggered by things I read here, and also trying to change my identity in my mind, to see if I can distance myself a bit from withdrawal to aid my actual recovery. Some days it works, and some days it does not.

 

Overall, I have seen an improvement. But I still get waves of symptoms. I have been looking over my posts, and it appears that I have a cycle of sorts: early in the month things seem harder - more anxiety, more crying - but then they ease out as the month progresses. I suppose that is a marked improvement over the rapid cycling that characterized the first several months of my recovery.

 

I have made no changes in my supplement routine. At this point, I am happy where it is at, and I do not want to become dependent on making up-doses and adjustments like is done with the meds. I do still grab a Theanine on occasion "as needed."

 

Life stress continues to be the biggest trigger. My wife's work situation is still stressful, and I have been unable to find full time work still. Thank God that I at least have a temp part-time job!

 

My primary tools remains prayer and mindful breathing. I have also read Claire Weeke's Hope and Help For Your Nerves and McDonaugh's DARE. Both are extremely helpful and highly recommended to all here on SA. I highlighted huge swathes of both books and refer to them as necessary.

 

Keep healing, my friends! You are in my prayers!

 

SJ

[ShakeyJerr]

Hello to anyone who is reading!

 

It's been a little over a month since I have checked in here (though I do still follow a few threads, lurking in the background). So I figured I would post an update.

 

Things for me have been much improved. I do still get some anxiety in the mornings, but I work my DARE Response / Claire Weekes' method and move through it rather quickly. I also work those things if any situational anxiety pops up. I do also on rare occasion get some overly foggy thinking, but it too passes with relative ease. And I unfortunately have a daily trigger... My job situation - that is, being under-employed - remains in place, and sadly my wife just lost her job. So that is a daily concern/stress-point. I think if we could get full gainful employment, I could move even closer to fully healed. It is difficult to be full free of anxiety with such a worry on one's head.

 

I am still keeping to my healthy eating program - though I must confess to slipping with the rare piece of chocolate or dessert, or the occasional biscuit (bad white refined flour). But the after effects are nothing like they once were. I also take my supplements (see my signature for details).

 

Prayer remains my main tool each and every day. And I do include all of you in my prayers. I also do mindful breathing when necessary, which is rarely.

 

Stay in recovery mode, my fellow travelers! Each and every one of us will be fully healed.

 

SJ

[bubble]

Thank you for the update SJ. It's great to read about things having improved so much.

 

I hope it will work out on the job front too. I have a job but I'm having more and more difficulty working. Not sure if it is only WD but also the general saturation after 9 intense years... Taking a hard-won sabbatical soon.

 

Wishing you and your wife the best of luck and continued healing.

[MollyN]

Oh SJ what fantastic news in these last two updates - you've come such a very long way - brilliant! Even now with such uncertainty around employment for you and your wife, you're managing so very well, such a testament to your healing and resilience!!

 

I'm still unemployed which does me no good whatsoever,  but I also can't really cope with anything much in terms of stress, so it's a bind for sure. I love that the terrible agitation has subsided, you're doing great!

 

I have also needed to take breaks away from thinking on withdrawal, so have not visited our beloved SA for periods of time, then return either because I feel horrible again, or feel I have some energy to encourage others. Also it helps when I feel surrounded by folks IRL that underestimate or reject the facts these drugs are harmful, or give them to their kids etc, and I need to be around people who share my worldview. 

 

All the very best with what comes next for you two xxxmollyn (oh and thanks for the DARE and Dr Weekes recommendations!)

 

 

[bhasski]

SJ, 

What supplements are you taking right now ?

And which seems to benefit more for calm mind?

 

I am using this forum on mobile and it doesnt show signatures on mobile.

Thanks

[ShakeyJerr]

23 hours ago, bubble said:

Thank you for the update SJ. It's great to read about things having improved so much.

 

I hope it will work out on the job front too. I have a job but I'm having more and more difficulty working. Not sure if it is only WD but also the general saturation after 9 intense years... Taking a hard-won sabbatical soon.

 

Wishing you and your wife the best of luck and continued healing.

 

Thank you for the encouragement, bubble! Workdays can be difficult during recovery, especially when circumstances are also working against you. But do not give up hope!

 

SJ

[ShakeyJerr]

18 hours ago, MollyN said:

Oh SJ what fantastic news in these last two updates - you've come such a very long way - brilliant! Even now with such uncertainty around employment for you and your wife, you're managing so very well, such a testament to your healing and resilience!!

 

I'm still unemployed which does me no good whatsoever,  but I also can't really cope with anything much in terms of stress, so it's a bind for sure. I love that the terrible agitation has subsided, you're doing great!

 

I have also needed to take breaks away from thinking on withdrawal, so have not visited our beloved SA for periods of time, then return either because I feel horrible again, or feel I have some energy to encourage others. Also it helps when I feel surrounded by folks IRL that underestimate or reject the facts these drugs are harmful, or give them to their kids etc, and I need to be around people who share my worldview. 

 

All the very best with what comes next for you two xxxmollyn (oh and thanks for the DARE and Dr Weekes recommendations!)

 

 

 

Hang in there, Molly! Things will improve for you - in all areas!

 

Yeah, it gets tough sometimes to be around people who still champion these drugs. But I am finding more and more people who have been through what we went through - or know somebody else who has - and it has become affirming and uplifting. Something definitely needs to be done about these medications and how they are prescribed.

 

SJ

[ShakeyJerr]

8 hours ago, bhasski said:

SJ, 

What supplements are you taking right now ?

And which seems to benefit more for calm mind?

 

I am using this forum on mobile and it doesnt show signatures on mobile.

Thanks

 

Hi bhasski - 

 

I take 400 mg of Magnesium-Glycinate per day, split into 4 100mg doses: upon waking, at 10am, 3pm, and before bed.

 

I take 2 high-concentrate fish oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - 1 upon waking and 1 at bed.

 

And I take 1 vitamin c 500mg tablet after dinner (I used to split this into 2 250s, but changed that recently).

 

I very rarely reach for a Theanine capsule anymore.

 

When I was really in the throws of things, I would open up one of my mag-glycinates and a theanine and put them in my 24-ounce water bottle. I would take a nice deep drink to begin with, and then sip on the rest of the bottle over the course of a few hours. I haven't had to do that in about a month.

 

But for immediate calm, I work the DARE Response and take several deep, mindful breaths.

 

Be well!

 

SJ

[bhasski]

4 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

Hi bhasski - 

 

I take 400 mg of Magnesium-Glycinate per day, split into 4 100mg doses: upon waking, at 10am, 3pm, and before bed.

 

I take 2 high-concentrate fish oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - 1 upon waking and 1 at bed.

 

And I take 1 vitamin c 500mg tablet after dinner (I used to split this into 2 250s, but changed that recently).

 

I very rarely reach for a Theanine capsule anymore.

 

When I was really in the throws of things, I would open up one of my mag-glycinates and a theanine and put them in my 24-ounce water bottle. I would take a nice deep drink to begin with, and then sip on the rest of the bottle over the course of a few hours. I haven't had to do that in about a month.

 

But for immediate calm, I work the DARE Response and take several deep, mindful breaths.

 

Be well!

 

SJ

Thank you SJ.

 

[ShakeyJerr]

Hello to anyone who might still be following my thread!

 

I'm back with another monthly check-in. Things continue to improve - praise God! My anxiety and depression are pretty much situational only at this point - either triggered by continuing career issues, or if I get into a crowded/overwhelming setting.

 

I still do find myself to be of a nervous disposition overall, which is nothing like I was before taking the meds. But I suspect that could be triggered by the stress of the ongoing career issues as well.

 

Stay strong, my friends! I continue to pray for all of you. Work your recovery programs and you will heal.

 

SJ

[Blondiee1915]

Hi SJ - 

 

Happy to hear you are doing well! Glad things are continuing to improve and I do agree that we have to work on those nondrug coping skills in order to help with anxiety relief .  I just recently started reading Clare Weekes book and just ordered the Dare book, not sure if you have read those .  Hopefully things will continue to go in the positive directions for you , you deserve it ! 

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

Hello to anyone who might still be following my thread!

 

I'm back with another monthly check-in. Things continue to improve - praise God! My anxiety and depression are pretty much situational only at this point - either triggered by continuing career issues, or if I get into a crowded/overwhelming setting.

 

I still do find myself to be of a nervous disposition overall, which is nothing like I was before taking the meds. But I suspect that could be triggered by the stress of the ongoing career issues as well.

 

Stay strong, my friends! I continue to pray for all of you. Work your recovery programs and you will heal.

 

SJ

Hi SJ:

 

Nice to hear from you.

 

I'm glad you are healing and feeling better. They say everyday gets better.

 

Keep us up to date.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ShakeyJerr]

1 hour ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Hi SJ - 

 

Happy to hear you are doing well! Glad things are continuing to improve and I do agree that we have to work on those nondrug coping skills in order to help with anxiety relief .  I just recently started reading Clare Weekes book and just ordered the Dare book, not sure if you have read those .  Hopefully things will continue to go in the positive directions for you , you deserve it ! 

 

Thanks, Blondiee! I did read both of those books - and they are key to my recovery. I recommend them to everybody! I actually run through the DARE Response in my head whenever anxiety threatens.

[ShakeyJerr]

56 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Hi SJ:

 

Nice to hear from you.

 

I'm glad you are healing and feeling better. They say everyday gets better.

 

Keep us up to date.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

You take care also, Frogie! Every day does get better. Sure, there are sudden setbacks, but that is to be expected. That's when I work my tools - such as prayer and the DARE Response. We all are going to heal!

 

SJ

[Frogie]

19 minutes ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

You take care also, Frogie! Every day does get better. Sure, there are sudden setbacks, but that is to be expected. That's when I work my tools - such as prayer and the DARE Response. We all are going to heal!

 

SJ

I sure hope I'm going to heal after going through all of this lol...

 

I'm glad you are doing well. Miss talking to you though.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ShakeyJerr]

24 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I sure hope I'm going to heal after going through all of this lol...

 

I'm glad you are doing well. Miss talking to you though.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

Feel free to PM me whenever you want to or feel the need! 

[Frogie]

1 minute ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Feel free to PM me whenever you want to or feel the need! 

Thanks, just might take you up on that.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[grandmaD]

Good update, let's hope it continues!  The anxiety is a real bug bear, wanting to hang on for ages and ages by the look of it.

 

Thanks for your prayers, I pray for everyone also on here! 

[ShakeyJerr]

Hello fellow recoverers! I thought I would check in with some news and encouragement.

 

I had a setback the past few days. Okay, that's not the encouraging. But bear with me. I had 2 job interviews and some hard family stuff, and I ended up having some anxiety. It bubbled over yesterday while I was out shopping with my wife. Shopping/spending money can be a big trigger for me. I ended up having a crying bout in the store (no, not a tantrum - just stress tears).

 

And today, I am still feeling anxiety.

 

But here's the encouraging part: I know I will get through it! The stresses that other people glide through can be hard on us because we are overcoming organic/chemical changes in out bodies caused by the meds. But we do recover, we do overcome, and we do thrive once again. I am already calmer than yesterday, and I will be calmer as the day goes on.

 

I did have to work the DARE Response and Claire Weekes' floating method to help me calm down. These methods do work! So learn them and put them in your tool box!

 

Be healthy, my friends!

 

SJ

[Julz82]

Hi SJ!

I popped in to see how you were doing and am delighted to see that you are seeing healing happen! (We know it's happening but it's not always visible!)

 

I hope you are enjoying some of the holidays!

Keep taking good care of yourself 

Julz xx

[ShakeyJerr]

19 hours ago, Julz82 said:

Hi SJ!

I popped in to see how you were doing and am delighted to see that you are seeing healing happen! (We know it's happening but it's not always visible!)

 

I hope you are enjoying some of the holidays!

Keep taking good care of yourself 

Julz xx

 

Hi Julz! Thanks for checking in! I have been meaning to post an update.

My healing continues. I would say that I am mostly recovered. However, I still have a general nervousness about me that was not there before the medication or withdrawal. And I unfortunately did have one pretty bad bout of fear/anxiety mixed with crying and a large outburst of emotion last week. It was triggered by the stress of the holidays and too many things on my personal schedule. It felt like a relapse when it happened, but I have since recovered from the event.

 

I think my general anxiety is very much fueled by the employment woes of myself (severely under-employed) and my wife (unemployed). Jobs are so sparse where we are that we may have to move to another state, away from all of our family. That would be an anxiety-producing situation for anybody, but after withdrawal, for people like us it can be even more difficult.

 

Still, I expect to endure with the help of God and my family and friends.

Be well and healthy!

 

SJ

[ShakeyJerr]

Happy New Year to all of us! We are Survivors - Recoverers - and we will not be held down by the effects of these meds or held back by our pasts!

 

My prayer for us all in this new year is that we be free once and for all time of the depression, anxiety, and physical symptoms caused by our withdrawal. I pray that we each embrace recovery, and that we go on to new heights of happiness and success! Press into the Lord Jesus and He will show His strength, mercy, and grace to you! We will be well and fully healed!

 

Hugs and Kisses to you all!

 

SJ

[ShakeyJerr]

Well, another month has passed, and recovery continues apace! In fact, I rarely think about withdrawal at all anymore. For the most part, life is normal.

 

I do still get some anxiety from time to time that seems different from natural anxiety. When that occurs, I use prayer, the DARE Response, and Dr. Weekes' floating technique to calm myself - and they continue to work!

 

There is one thing of note - I may still be medication sensitive. I had the flu last week, and ended up taking a bit of Tylenol to help with the body aches, and 1 does of Mucinex-D to help clear my sinuses one night, and I did have some depression pop up a few times over the next few days. I can't say for sure it was the medications - after all, I was sick and so was my wife and daughter and that is depressing! - but I am still going to find myself wary of any medications going forward.

 

I continue to pray for all of you here on SA! We will all recover and thrive!

 

SJ

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, ShakeyJerr said:

Well, another month has passed, and recovery continues apace! In fact, I rarely think about withdrawal at all anymore. For the most part, life is normal.

 

I do still get some anxiety from time to time that seems different from natural anxiety. When that occurs, I use prayer, the DARE Response, and Dr. Weekes' floating technique to calm myself - and they continue to work!

 

There is one thing of note - I may still be medication sensitive. I had the flu last week, and ended up taking a bit of Tylenol to help with the body aches, and 1 does of Mucinex-D to help clear my sinuses one night, and I did have some depression pop up a few times over the next few days. I can't say for sure it was the medications - after all, I was sick and so was my wife and daughter and that is depressing! - but I am still going to find myself wary of any medications going forward.

 

I continue to pray for all of you here on SA! We will all recover and thrive!

 

SJ

 

Wow, such a great update Jerr! I wish I had gone your route and stayed off the meds when I quit, rather than going on and off and round and round. So happy to see you back on the site and doing well, hopefully sometime soon I will join you!

[powerback]

2 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

Well, another month has passed, and recovery continues apace! In fact, I rarely think about withdrawal at all anymore. For the most part, life is normal.

 

I do still get some anxiety from time to time that seems different from natural anxiety. When that occurs, I use prayer, the DARE Response, and Dr. Weekes' floating technique to calm myself - and they continue to work!

 

There is one thing of note - I may still be medication sensitive. I had the flu last week, and ended up taking a bit of Tylenol to help with the body aches, and 1 does of Mucinex-D to help clear my sinuses one night, and I did have some depression pop up a few times over the next few days. I can't say for sure it was the medications - after all, I was sick and so was my wife and daughter and that is depressing! - but I am still going to find myself wary of any medications going forward.

 

I continue to pray for all of you here on SA! We will all recover and thrive!

 

SJ

Brilliant update SJ ,I love the fact you don't think of withdrawl anymore ,I need this so bad in time also.

Keep well .

[grandmaD]

Great update!  Are you getting your life back?  This is so encouraging, thanks for keeping us informed.  Please keep letting us know how you are doing.