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newinghamsgirl: struggling after 5 months off benzos


newinghamsgirl

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I'm 5 months off Clonazepam. Was total hell! Was on only 2.5 months. Before that was Ativan. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I suffered almost a year on bad reactions from antidepressants and antipsychotics before being put on ativan then clonazepam. I'm in my 5th month of being off all the drugs. I'm wondering if anybody else has had a fear of never being able to drive again or being alone again? Does it go away? I tried driving by myself and it's really scary. It seems I can only get so far before fear kicks in. And I'm scared to be left alone. It seems like 3 weeks ago the bad anxiety and bad thoughts came back. I NEED hope!! I feel like I'm going to be like this forever!

Edited by scallywag
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Hi newinghamsgirl

 

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time.  I'm sure a moderator will chime in soon, but I just want you to know that you aren't all by yourself in this.

 

It does get better, but it takes time.  There's lots of good information here to help you cope.  You've made it this far!  Congratulations for getting free!

 

hacilar

21 years of various psych meds.

Currently experiencing 'withdrawal syndrome' from 14 years of 0.5mg Klonopin: 1 q hs

Tapered over a year and a half dry cutting.

Hx of Imipramine (nightmare) (1992) Zoloft,(1992) Paxil (difficult to d/c)(2000) Effexor(2004-5) (also very difficult to d/c) Lamictal(2004-6), Neurontin(2004-6), Depakote(2006-2012), Remeron(2007) Various sleeping pills at different times...

 

UPDATE

Month 40 post Benzo taper

 

there have been windows, sometimes weeks of feeling 'almost normal' and the BLAM

 

windows and waves, indeed

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  • Moderator Emeritus

newinghamgirl -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

Unfortunately the medical people who prescribe these medications and encourage or insist that you start taking them know very little about assisting you to STOP taking them. I'm sorry to read that you have had several negative experiences taking them and coming off them.

 

We suggest people reduce medications by no more than 10% once per month. You can read more about that here:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.

With benzodiazepines (lorazepam (Ativan), clonazepam (Klonopin)), people have had success making modifications to Dr. Heather Ashton's protocol. You can read more about that in this topic on our site:

Ashton and beyond in benzo tapering

 

Giving us more information about your medications in the last 12-18 months will help us help you. If you can remember them, please post doses and dates (start, change, and stop) of medications you took.

 

Then after you've posted that information, please provide the same details in a signature.

Creating a signature

Signature settings page

 

Once we have that information we can point you to relevant information and possibly suggest next steps.

 

Recovering from these medications and/or from discontinuing them takes time, possibly many months. :( The process is usually not linear where you are noticeably better each day or week; it seems to occur for most people in what we call The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization.

 

This is YOUR introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.

 

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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I'm 5 months off Clonazepam. Was total hell! Was on only 2.5 months. Before that was Ativan. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I suffered almost a year on bad reactions from antidepressants and antipsychotics before being put on ativan then clonazepam. I'm in my 5th month of being off all the drugs. I'm wondering if anybody else has had a fear of never being able to drive again or being alone again? Does it go away? I tried driving by myself and it's really scary. It seems I can only get so far before fear kicks in. And I'm scared to be left alone. It seems like 3 weeks ago the bad anxiety and bad thoughts came back. I NEED hope!! I feel like I'm going to be like this forever!

When I first started on antipsychotics, I was terrified. It went away when I switched to another antipsychotic. Then things were ok driving, but I have to pay attention lots, b/c my concentration is off.

 

Maybe your body is still adjusting to not being on antipsychotics?

Dec 2016 Risperidone 1 mg, Seroquel 25mg, Latuda 40mg 

Jan - Mar 2017 Paliperidone (invega) 6 -9mg, Zoloft, Mirtazapine, Proprananol, Ativan

Mar - Apr 2017 Aripiprazole (abilify) 10 mg

Apr 2017 - July 2017 Olanzapine (zyprexa) 5 mg tapered to 0mg

Oct 2017 - Present Effexor 37.5mg and Prozac 10mg 

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