sadandconfused

1 year update

20 posts in this topic

Hey guys, i cannot believe it but it has been exactly one year since I started losing my feelings. In these past 12 months I've felt more emotional pain than I'd ever thought I'd have to. It's definitely been the strangest year of my life. I'm still not right. I will go through phases where I'll start to feel something and think okay finally I'm getting better, and then the next week will be back to square one and not even really wanting to be around my boyfriend. We had an amazing 10 months together and then I lost my feelings. While it's gone by fairly fast, I still feel like the days are dragging. I need reassurance that this will get better. </3 I can barely eat or sleep, I just wanna feel happiness again. It's horrible. I was only on the pills for 9 months and then I quit cold turkey. Should I be disappointed that it's been a year and I still don't feel like I love him? Thanks so much in advance. 

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Hey girlfriend..you know it does and will get better. Brass monkey felt the same way about his wife for a long time and eventually he felt for her again. Our feelings are masked and only when our brain goes back to normal will we be able to feel that way again. Your brain is still working on making back the dopamine the drug has depleted ❤️

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I'm confused by your post really. It seems that if you want to get your feelings back for your boyfriend then you must have some feelings for him, otherwise wouldn't you just not care at all.

 

My partner left me in February and I haven't heard s thing from her. Nothing. No chance of her seeing me or bumping into me, she has completely cut me off. I imagine because she has no feelings. 

 

So if you and Coopergirl have no feelings for your partners, what exactly is it that is making you recognise that and want to get your feelings back?

 

Do you both still live with or see your partners? And again if so, what is it that keeps you in their lives of its not feelings?

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By the way it's not a criticism, just curious.

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We both live with our boyfriends and the reason we have come to recognize this is because my boyfriend looked into S.A because he noticed strange behavior in me and I think sad&confused found this info online too. Henry is your partner still on medication? I didn't believe it was the pills at first. Also February was only a couple months ago your partner may soon realize the same thing and I sure hope so.

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Hi Coopergirl

 

Thank you for the insight. It really helps to know what people going through this think and feel. 

 

i don't know if she is still on the meds. She dropped from 100mg to 50mg two weeks before she wanted a break. She said she wanted a break about 18th Feb the same day the doctor told her to stop the Sertraline for a week and start Venlafaxine the week after. I never heard from her ever again. Her father said she reduced her dose around 4th April then stopped completely around the 20th April.

 

i don't know whether she stayed off them or started again and she is unlikely to tell her parents the truth.

 

thanks again for your honesty and candour, it really does help those of us on the other side of things.

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Hello, I could definitely see how my story could be confusing but to make a long story short I basically fell out of love with my boyfriend literally within a few days. I quit Lexapro cold turkey and about a month later I woke up one day and felt nothing for the man I had been so so in love with. I loved this guy more than words can describe. We talked about getting married, having kids, etc. I knew he was the one for me! Then suddenly all of that changed. When withdrawal set in, I completely changed. I didn't see him as the extremely handsome man I always had, little things about him would annoy me, I just really quit wanting to be around him. It was devastating for both of us. I pray that the love is still there but I cannot feel anything. I'm afraid I'm gonna push him away through all of this. </3 it's awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 

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Thanks Coopergirl!!

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Sorry Henry, I don't know if I quite answered your question but basically I just feel like if I loved him as much as I know I did at one point, the feelings have still got to be in there somewhere even though it's so hard to see now. A little over a year ago I would've be so so devastated if we would've broke up. I loved him more than words could describe and I couldn't wait to spend my life with him. I just feel like that feeling still has to be there somewhere. That's why I've held on so long. 

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Thank you for letting me know what's going on with you sadandconfused.

 

i know for sure how much my girlfriend really loved me but now it seems like she doesn't care or regret leaving me at all. She doesn't seem to see how much she loved me like you and coopergirl obviously do about your partners.

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Henry it could be because she is still on the medication or it could be because she hasn't done any internet reading on how these drugs can change people? 

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13 minutes ago, Coopergirl1 said:

Henry it could be because she is still on the medication or it could be because she hasn't done any internet reading on how these drugs can change people? 

Yes you are right. She told her parents she had stopped taking it back in April and said she didn't feel right. So she may have started it again and just not told her parents. She never told them when she was on it, it was only when she wanted a break that I convinced her to tell them so at least someone was aware.

 

who knows if she is on or off them? She seems to be enjoying her life and has completely blocked me on all social media. Is that the actions of someone who tells you that they love you to bits the day she wanted a break? Or is it the actions of somebody who says the reason she wasn't sure about the relationship is because we haven't been intimate for a few months. I mean we were together 11 years, of course intimacy declines.

 

i don't know, sometimes I think it's the meds, other times I think she is just plain old nasty and not the person I thought she was.

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No this medication can change people without   Knowing and then they think oh I just feel better and it's like no you don't all your symptoms are masked by this medication and so are all of your good feelings aka loving feelings are masked too. You should email her all the different articles and say I really hope you'll look into this more.

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32 minutes ago, Coopergirl1 said:

No this medication can change people without   Knowing and then they think oh I just feel better and it's like no you don't all your symptoms are masked by this medication and so are all of your good feelings aka loving feelings are masked too. You should email her all the different articles and say I really hope you'll look into this more.

 

I wish I could email her Coopergirl. I just don't feel like I can even talk to her anymore. :( its like we are strangers. So Sad

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Henry I'm really sorry you are going through this too. I really wish I had some more advice for you but since I'm on the opposite end and I'm the one who lost feelings it's a little difficult. I've come so close to leaving my boyfriend multiple times and everytime something just holds me back. I can't feel anything for him but I'm praying the feelings will come back, and I really hope your ex girlfriend will realize it's the pills! It may take a while but it seems like everyone has an epiphany eventually. 

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Thanks for replying Sad. I've something is holding you back could it not be love?

 

my girlfriend said she loved me to bits he last day I saw her and she said she wanted a break. I never heard from her again. She completely blocked me on all social media even though friends say her profiles are still littered with photos of us.

 

i don't get it. I never did anything to deserve to be completely shunned. Even people who fall out of love can remain friends at least on social media.

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22 hours ago, Henry said:

 

i don't get it. I never did anything to deserve to be completely shunned. Even people who fall out of love can remain friends at least on social media.

 

That's simple - side effects of SSRI. Bizarre, horrible, beyond reason...

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3 hours ago, Konjo said:

 

That's simple - side effects of SSRI. Bizarre, horrible, beyond reason...

 

I guess you are right. Unless for the 11 years we were together she hid her real personality from me!

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20 minutes ago, Henry said:

 

I guess you are right. Unless for the 11 years we were together she hid her real personality from me!

 

 

I had similar thoughts several years ago. But after reading so many same stories I know for sure that SSRI are real reason.. 

In case of my ex these side effects gave lasting effect, In 2013 she broke with me. In 2014 was our divorce and just several months after that she married new guy.

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17 minutes ago, Konjo said:

 

 

I had similar thoughts several years ago. But after reading so many same stories I know for sure that SSRI are real reason.. 

In case of my ex these side effects gave lasting effect, In 2013 she broke with me. In 2014 was our divorce and just several months after that she married new guy.

Yes, I am familiar with your story Konjo. I am sure you are right.

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