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potions: off Zoloft since August 2016


potions

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Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm an 18 year old girl, will be 19 soon, and I took Zoloft from when I was about 16 and a half to when I was just about 17, so a year and 4 months. I've been clean of the poison since August 28th, 2016, so ten and a half months now. Since I don't think the drugs were good for me to be on to begin with because they caused a whole host of strange behaviors and feelings, like sedation and mania at times, as well as periods of complete apathy and feeling sick, not to mention the sexual problems, I decided to get off of them. Here's how things went:

  1. Felt better when initially coming off Zoloft. Much better. Perhaps more negative, but more energy, felt more normal, looked better, etc. Less headaches and other side effects. Happier...almost manic sorta. Sex drive increase and no problems with prolactin overloads. Continued like this (with adaptogenic herb, B6, inositol, and other supplementation) until December 2016. Sometimes wanted to "crawl out of my skin" also and getting more frustrated when my best friend wouldn't call me, less worried about what he thought.
  2. December 2016, my life crashed. My best friend and I had a falling out and he was distant for a while. Worst depression I have EVER felt for 2 weeks straight. I was stuck in my body, it was the worst feeling I have ever EVER had, profound depression, profound pain, I could not deal with it..so incredibly horrible. Definitely would not have been nearly as bad if I weren't only 4 months off Zoloft. Probably wouldn't have been bad at all if I were still on Zoloft..scary. Extreme disconnection from the body. This scared me because the issue was generally pretty mild--a friend being distant. The fact that it caused such a terrible horrible depression made me realize how hard this journey was going to be for me...my ability to handle stress and emotions have been greatly diminished.
  3. January--February were blahhh. He texted me again, didn't switch schools, we were friends. I also started taking tryptophan for serotonin deficiencies and the pain went away but the horror of what had happened still lingered and left me exhausted and terrified of another episode. I felt extremely out of control of myself and my life. Never would have felt this way on zoloft.
  4. March was terrible. He ignored me again, again intense anxiety, worse than I could possibly describe. Literally horror.
  5. Started taking ashwaghanda which, along with him reconnecting with me, made April and May more bearable. Sometimes felt GOOD in those two months..other times not, but it was really not horrible. A couple periods of intense pain, usually from relationship stress, but I recovered when things went back to normal.
  6. June..was fine. I'm living. In college now. Was pretty intent on committing suicide a couple of days ago..thoroughly convinced myself that I would do it and that I need to do it. Didn't do it. Probably won't this week. Can't take the unbearable social pain any longer though..it's putting a hole in my heart.
  7. I refuse to go back on those meds. Ever. They're awful and they still are affecting my sex drive..PSSD is there. Realizing that I'm at the end of adolescence and never had a true, hormonal, exciting sexual experience and the ability to experience that kind of thing will go away when teenage hormones go away. I may never be normal again. I'm incredibly upset and worried and cursing myself for taking those pills. Also feel really alone because nobody understands and I can't talk to anyone about it. If I weren't in a fine mood, I'd be ready to pull the friggin plug. All of my sexual experiences are awkward and bad, make guys feel like rapists, never result in orgasm, always lose excitement once any touching of the genitals is involved, and end up very VERY bad. Masturbation is 100X better but it still takes longer and isn't as easy to cum.. I feel hopeless and screwed, scared and worried. The same mechanism affects your ability to fall in love..I need hope. When will these things get better?

 

Note: One thing I can say is the intense feeling of being disconnected from my body or wanting to crawl out of my skin has gotten better, which makes me realize that my brain is normalizing itself. I'm just worried that things will never be the same again, because of receptor problems or permanent brain damage, especially in the sexual department... Help?

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to potions: 10 1/2 Months off Zoloft
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi potions, welcome to SA.  

Let me reassure you that you WILL recover from this. you are young and your youth is on your side. This was your first psychiatric drug? 

What you are experiencing is the course that withdrawal takes. There will be times when you feel ok and others when you can't take any more. This is called the windows and waves pattern of recovery. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking that you will never get better. You absolutely WILL get better. Don't worry about not having exciting sex after your teens, that is something that teenagers often worry about but is unfounded. Sex can be a fantastic experience whether you are 16 or 70, in fact better as you get older so don't worry about that side of things. While you are healing the best thing is not to even think about sex. Trying to force feelings oly leads to more frustration. The feelings will come back as your nervous system recovers. Worrying about it will just slow down the process. 

 

Well done for sticking with your education, it must be hard but you are doing it and that shows you are a strong person and will get through this. When you feel suicidal it is not you, it is withdrawal. Let the thoughts come and go but don't let them stay. I have been extremely suicidal and still get those thoughts. I tell myself that this will pass, it is not real and get on with something that distracts from the feelings. They ALWAYS pass. 

 

You need to tale good care of yourself, eat good fresh food whenever possible, avoid caffeine and alcohol. ( It isn't forever  ;))They are stimulants that can make us feel worse in withdrawal. Sleep is important so if you can keep a good sleep routine it will be beneficial for you. 

You don't need toxic people in your life. If they make you feel bad let them go. I had to let a few 'friends' go when I realised their negativity was impacting on me. 

We don't recommend many supplements, often all they do is make expensive pee! We universally recommend magnesium and fish oil which seem to help many of us here. Most people are deficient in magnesium because of todays farming methods, it is calming. Fish oil is proven to be good for brain health and helps with the brain fog and electric type feelings. I am going to put up some links to topics for you that might help you to understand what it is that is happening to you. It is easier to cope with when you understand the process. Remember that THIS WILL PASS! 

 

WE ask all our members to put their drug history in their signature.. You can find instructions here..

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

Withdrawal syndrome

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

Windows and waves

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

Dealing with emotional spirals

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/

 

Magnesium

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Fish oil

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/?view=findpost&p=100596&hl=magnesium

 

 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Super advice from mamma!!! I just want to say Everything you are worried will get better.  A lot of research says that women's best times in that department are in their 30s not teens. So you have a  lot to look forward to. Focus on your studies and if possible find a couple of low maintenance friends who are nice people. And don't worry. Everything will improve

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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hi potions welcome ,you are so young [not patronising ] please believe me when I say that ,of course you'll heal ,its hard at your age you just want to fit in and give yourself credit for knowing you want off these drugs ,don't dwell on damage that mite be done without evidence ,trust me it sets us up for a spiral of toxic thinking/depression .

I also had horrible depression for months ,get journaling in a diary and become aware of your thoughts ,they can overpower us ,don't let anyone tell you any of this is to do with your character its the drugs/withdrawal .

we can get obsessive so be aware of this ,relationships with friends are hard at the best of times so learn serious compassion for yourself .

I get paranoid mixed with extreme sensitivity ,so I learned to ignore it but some days its tough .

watch here for what helps others and listen to the moderators and give yourself time to take it in and you've loads of it being young .

take care

PB

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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Thank you all so much for the helpful replies and reassurance! I'm hoping things will get a lot better soon.

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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Hey...

Before taking zoloft, i was a silly, awkward, energetic, nut who was fascinated with life. While on zoloft and after withdrawing from zoloft, my entire sense of self changed..for the worse. I've been borderline "anhedonic", just less involved with life, I feel like I'm barely even here. My sense of humor and feelings of engagement and excitement have shut down, as well as my sex drive which has been completely and totally damaged ever since I began taking zoloft and now has continued even after 10 and a half months of stopping. I don't feel like myself anymore, emotionally or otherwise. I'm worried that: 1) because I took an SSRI while my brain was still developing, I did some permanent damage to my brain, even moreso than I would have if I had taken it when I was an adult. 2) that I will never ever be the same again. I'm stressed because I'm looking for love but with blunted feelings and depersonalization as well as the sex drive problems that I STILL have, which are 100% caused by the zoloft that i took almost a year ago which are almost certainly tied to the same mechanisms that affect infatuation and love, I will never find love, nor will I ever be happy again. I'm extremely distressed because I don't feel like I've improved one bit since I got off the medication in late August last year..emotionally too. I can't handle anything. Nothing at all. Anxiety comes in intense, unbearable "waves" I guess, but I feel like I'm literally sitting in, seeping in, pain, unable to do *anything* about it. I have NEVER felt like that before I touched sertraline... I am so terrified that my entire life has been ruined. I'm sorry for the negativity of this post. I hope to be able to post in the near future with positive news, and will certainly update on any improvements I see, if I see them.

Edited by scallywag
merged topic

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

potions -- I've moved your post/question to your introduction topic so that all your information, questions and answers are in one place.  After you get this notification, you can find your post in your Intro. We ask that you post questions about your situation in your intro topic.  The benefit to you is that the Introductions forum has the most activity so people, including moderators, are likely to see your question sooner and respond.

 

We have a topic in the Symptoms forum on anhedonia: .Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness.

 

A tip:  Search the site for topics about symptoms with a web search engine such as google or bing.  Be sure to include site:survivingantidepressants.org  as a search term in addtion to the symptom "keyword", e.g. anhedonia.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • 5 months later...

Hi, it’s been a few months since I’ve posted on here and I’d like to share a few updates on my withdrawal disorder. I find today a particularly momentous day because today marks 1 year and 4 months off zoloft —exactly how long I was on it. I joined this site in July while I was in a horrendous wave with extremely devastating physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms including severe anhedonia, extreme akathisia and a feeling of needing to “jump out of my skin” 24/7, depersonalization, horrendous, extreme anxiety that I can’t even put into words, depression worse than I ever though humanly possible, headaches, insomnia so bad that I would get only a couple of hours of sleep a night if I was lucky but would get extreme nighttime exhaustion at around 10 pm (as if a brick had hit me), and worst of all: extreme genital anesthesia (PSSD).

 

The wave in July was awful and not unlike the previous waves I’ve had earlier that year in December 2016, March 2017, May, etc... But the windows have kept me going. I’ve found it helpful to calendar my windows and waves to see how my withdrawal disorder progresses. After the horrible July wave I noticed a serene and welcome sense of calm and a renewed sensitivity to worldly pleasures in early August. I was still numb sexually but the emotional relief was much needed. The window lasted around a week and a half before I transitioned into a bad wave again in mid to late August with severe symptoms... The horror of that wave lasted until early September when I transitioned back into a window for a week or so...but something was different about this window. I was sensitive in my genitals again for a week in this early September window. Unfortunately this did not last long and a week later I transitioned into a wave again with predominantly anhedonic and apathetic depressive symptoms, irritability, genital anesthesia, and a low lust for life.

 

This wave lasted from mid to late September to late October/ early November. In early November I noted a transition into a window that I’ve been in (relatively) ever since (with a few short dips). I’ve noticed improvements of all aspects of my withdrawal in these two months. Lessened anxiety, manageable insomnia and no nighttime exhaustion, manageable depression, significantly improved akathisia, and: improvements in PSSD 🙂.

 

Overall in these two months my anorgasmia has been better, sensitivity increased, and libido slightly better than it was in October, July, etc. There have been a few days where my libido has felt like it was back to pre-SSRI levels! Generally though I’m not nearly at the level I was before SSRIs, but I’m improved substantially (emotionally and sexually) from how I was this summer and in waves earlier this year. I’ve read on here that many people notice their withdrawal disorders starting to go away around 14-18 months off. I hope this is the case for me.

 

And as for PSSD, for some reason it got much much worse around 10-11 months off my medicine. But right now it is much better 🙂. I know I’m still in the depths of my withdrawal disorder from zoloft but I’m beginning to think I see the light at the end of the tunnel...  

 

On another note, I wonder if anyone can give me some advice about PSSD. Do you think this condition is permanent/do you think I will recover from it? It has taken up a significant portion of my mental energy in these past few months as I have been thoroughly obsessed with it and how to get rid of it. I wonder how long you think it will take for me to recover naturally (if that’s even possible). 
Thanks for reading.

Edited by Altostrata
added paragraph breaks

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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I Believe you will recover

I am tapering Lexapro even dow my sexual performance is the same or even better than before  but that is only happening because I am slowly tapering off 

it's no easy task

lots of mental torture but nothing compared to my Lexapro CT from 20 mg 

Lexapro is stronger then Zoloft 

Zoloft was my first  SSRI but never liked it 

you will recover just be patient and keep the journal it helps a lot and it's helping me a lot 2 

don't isolate, get out, exercise, but go slow on the exercise if you are having withdrawals 

and pls don't be obsessed with the PSSD distracting your mind will help and pls  let the body heal, I was like you obsessed whit PSSD and then I let it go and my libido went up like tons 

remember that SSRI withdraws and its recover it's not linear the more you worry the more stressed your mind gets, does slowing down the healing

I am going true some intrusive suicidal thoughts but I have learned to ignore them even dow they are a pain in the ass 

I get tons of low Bp

and the depression from this drugs are horrible but we have to keep going healing is happening 

when you taper its like not intense but constant misery until you stabilize after a cut on the dosage  but you are healing while tapering 

you whent CT soo you will take more time then me to recover i taked ssri for 2 years 

but dont worry i belive that you will recover becose peapol whit 25 + years of psychiatric drugs recover so me and you are like 99.5 % sure to recover 

 

Btw I am 19

how old are you 

 

  1. Zoloft(Generic)100 mg From 06/06/2016 to 02/10/2016                         
  2. Lexapro(Generic) 20 MG From 03/10/2016 to 05/2017                               Supplements: vitamin complex 
  3. Lexapro (Generic) CT 05/2017 
  4. 6/08/17- reinstated 10mg Lexapro(Generic)(50%of original doses )
  5. 02/11/2017- 9 mg Lexapro(Generic) (10 % rule) (Homemade)
  6. 04/12/2017- 8.75mg Lexapro(Generic)(BrassMonkey slide)
  7. 19/12/2017- 8.5mg Lexapro(Generic)
  8. 06/02/2018- 8.35mg Lexapro (Generic)
  9. 16/2/2018- 8.22mg Lexapro(Generic)
  10. 25/2/2018- 8.09mg Lexapro (Generic)-05/03/2018- 7.9mg Lexapro (Generic)-28/03/2018-7.75mg Lexapro (Generic)-04/04/2018-7.66mg Lexapro (Generic)18/05/2018-7.64mg Lexapro (brand Liquid)
  11. 28/6/2018 7.50mg lexapro (Brand Liquid ) 15/7/2018 7.40 mg Lexapro(brand liquid) 7.30 mg Lexapro(Liquid) 27-07-2018
  12. Forgot to update this but i continued to taper down until 21/12/2019 and final dose was 1.3 mg  Time since Stoping  3y and 4 mouths
  13.  xanax 16-01-2023 started 0.25 whent to 0.5 RX 1 week Back to 0.25 
  14. corrent dose 0.25 devided in 4 parts 
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Thanks Miguel, that’s really reassuring to hear. I have just been concerned about PSSD because I’ve read about some people who’ve had the condition for up to 20 years or longer...so I know that (full) recovery is anything but guaranteed.  As for the withdrawal disorder I have some more hope for that. I am 19 as well :).

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Altostrata changed the title to potions off Zoloft since August 2016
  • Administrator

Thanks for your beautifully written update,  potions. I moved it into your Intro topic. Please bookmark this topic or follow it so you can find it again.

 

Really good to hear you've seen some improvement. The waves and windows and frustrating setbacks are "normal" for withdrawal syndrome. 

 

You've already seen some healing of your PSSD. The healing will continue very gradually, try not to worry about it. 

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? These can support your system in healing. See

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

I am truly going insane. I have been in a wave for almost a month and my symptoms have gotten significantly worse in these past few days. Severe akathisia, severe inner torment and restlessness, I can’t get comfortable, my body feels like it’s jumping out of my skin. I’m completely anhedonic. Completely numb sexually and hopeless about improving/recovering in that regard because I’ve poured over maybe every single pssd story/blog I could find and the stories of long term sufferers (>7 years) significantly outnumber the success stories. There is absolutely no guarantee I’ll recover from pssd and anhedonia and those symptoms have made me not human anymore. Not even an organism capable of emotions. I’m a brainless jellyfish and all I feel is pain. The akathisia is getting to be too much. I can’t sit here, every movement I make is torture but sitting still feels much worse. My mind is a mess. I keep thinking about death. I can’t focus on anything and my grades are falling apart. My future seems extremely bleak at this point. I’m 17 months off sertraline. I wonder how much longer I will be suffering in this hell. This is a worse torture than anyone could possibly feel naturally. I’m numb to everything except for pain which is constantly piercing every nerve of my body and sending me into a spiral of extreme restlessness and impulsivity. I have no energy yet I feel absolutely unable to sit in one place with this overwhelming emotional pain. I just need someone to listen...thank you.

-Potions

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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Sorry. I am listening.  I can feel your pain. I hope someone can help you. It looks like you’ve had a few windows though. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Update: my akathisia has subsided and only lasted ~2 days. I feel a lot of relief with that but still feel derealization, depersonalization, anhedonia, and PSSD. I am relieved and anxiously awaiting my next window.

Best,

-potions

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to potions: off Zoloft since August 2016

This has been an extremely odd week of me experiencing every single symptom and every single window in a way that I had never experienced before. On Sunday I felt okay, standard, and normal (as if I was in neither a window nor a wave). On Monday I felt like I had gone into a total window: extroversion, confidence, pleasure in life... even pssd seemed to improve for a few hours! Then on Tuesday I experienced anhedonia, depersonalization, emotional blunting and all of those lovely symptoms that I am all too familiar with. On Wednesday—Thursday, I experienced severe hell and akathisia that I hadn’t experienced to that severity since October 2017 (four months ago). Now I feel normal again...back to maybe my mood on Sunday. I have never experienced symptoms fluctuating this quickly. Any thoughts?

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

From What is Happening in Your Brain:

 

"Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. "

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Hey. I have been extremely depressed and anxious lately. I recently became aware of a new (and probable) theory of PSSD that involves altered gene expression. I knew about this theory already but what frightens me is realizing how long it would take for research to be done on it and a drug to be marketed and available for prescription to treat it. I heard it takes 17 years on average for a medicine to go from medical theory to clinical usage, and 12 years for it to go from laboratory to prescription. I know that a scientist might stumble upon the cure for pssd accidentally but it seems unlikely to me. And with the number of long term sufferers of pssd I *personally* know (many....), many of which have seen windows but still suffer 8+ years out, I am hopeless, desperate, and angry. Pssd is connected to blunted emotions, anhedonia etc, all of which I don’t want to live with. I am so depressed lately that i think I might want/need to take buspirone. I’ve had social anxiety since I was 12 (which is why I started the poison sertraline) and general anxiety issues all of my life. Buspirone is antianxiety and can ease symptoms of pssd (but by no means cure it). I’m desperate and I think maybe I will end up ending my life if I don’t do this. I’m scared. Sorry if this post is against the rules. Please edit if need be.

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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26 minutes ago, potions said:

Hey. I have been extremely depressed and anxious lately. I recently became aware of a new (and probable) theory of PSSD that involves altered gene expression. I knew about this theory already but what frightens me is realizing how long it would take for research to be done on it and a drug to be marketed and available for prescription to treat it. I heard it takes 17 years on average for a medicine to go from medical theory to clinical usage, and 12 years for it to go from laboratory to prescription. I know that a scientist might stumble upon the cure for pssd accidentally but it seems unlikely to me. And with the number of long term sufferers of pssd I *personally* know (many....), many of which have seen windows but still suffer 8+ years out, I am hopeless, desperate, and angry. Pssd is connected to blunted emotions, anhedonia etc, all of which I don’t want to live with. I am so depressed lately that i think I might want/need to take buspirone. I’ve had social anxiety since I was 12 (which is why I started the poison sertraline) and general anxiety issues all of my life. Buspirone is antianxiety and can ease symptoms of pssd (but by no means cure it). I’m desperate and I think maybe I will end up ending my life if I don’t do this. I’m scared. Sorry if this post is against the rules. Please edit if need be.

Please don't end your life. There is an answer to this.  You have to do what feels right to you.

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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Hey i was on zoloft for 2 month's only. Am in the mist of withdrawal. 3 month's off going to 4 soon. You mention you had a symptom of being disconnect from your body. Well am having that issue. Like dr, feeling high which i honestly don't like. You say it did go away how long did it took you?

My first antidepressant ever.

Zoloft September 12, 2017.

First 3, 4 days on 50 mg. 

My doctor lower my dose to 25 mg later that week. September 19.

From September 19 till November 14 taking 25 mg.

September 14 started to taper of 25 mg to half the pill.

Did that for a week only

September 14 is when i decided to quit completely.

December 2 marks 18 days off Zoloft.

Zyprexa for one week, November 

Ativan 1mg for one week, December 

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27 minutes ago, Jorge24 said:

Hey i was on zoloft for 2 month's only. Am in the mist of withdrawal. 3 month's off going to 4 soon. You mention you had a symptom of being disconnect from your body. Well am having that issue. Like dr, feeling high which i honestly don't like. You say it did go away how long did it took you?

It hasn’t really gone away but I think it’s gotten better. I’m almost 18 months off but was on the drug for much longer than you. I think it will take a little more time for me.

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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28 minutes ago, potions said:

It hasn’t really gone away but I think it’s gotten better. I’m almost 18 months off but was on the drug for much longer than you. I think it will take a little more time for me.

Can you described It? For me it feels like if am high. Get a scary feeling then it calms down a bit. Are you able to watch t.v. i can't yet. Its ok it all ends sooner or later 

My first antidepressant ever.

Zoloft September 12, 2017.

First 3, 4 days on 50 mg. 

My doctor lower my dose to 25 mg later that week. September 19.

From September 19 till November 14 taking 25 mg.

September 14 started to taper of 25 mg to half the pill.

Did that for a week only

September 14 is when i decided to quit completely.

December 2 marks 18 days off Zoloft.

Zyprexa for one week, November 

Ativan 1mg for one week, December 

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36 minutes ago, Jorge24 said:

Can you described It? For me it feels like if am high. Get a scary feeling then it calms down a bit. Are you able to watch t.v. i can't yet. Its ok it all ends sooner or later 

I can watch tv I guess...mindlessly. Studying is difficult for me though. I don’t really know much about this symptom and haven’t really tracked it. But I do feel that it is better than it was last year etc. It feels a bit like my mind is disconnected from my body and usually accompanies intense emotional pain and/or shock type of feelings. I hope things improve for you

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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I just feel disconnected from my mind you know.  They told me am still in acute withdrawal since that can last up to 3 month's off. Hope you you get better

My first antidepressant ever.

Zoloft September 12, 2017.

First 3, 4 days on 50 mg. 

My doctor lower my dose to 25 mg later that week. September 19.

From September 19 till November 14 taking 25 mg.

September 14 started to taper of 25 mg to half the pill.

Did that for a week only

September 14 is when i decided to quit completely.

December 2 marks 18 days off Zoloft.

Zyprexa for one week, November 

Ativan 1mg for one week, December 

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Update at 18 months off: I’m feeling warmth in my body again. Loving feelings. Pleasure. Emotions, and a serene sense of calm and happiness. This is surely a window. Music sounds enjoyable again, I am deeply moved by movies and videos, I feel warm feelings for other people, I have a skip in my step. If I didn’t know about ssri withdrawal I’d think I was bipolar because just last week I was suicidal and numb. Also, my sensitivity in genitals is up!! I can’t believe it... I’m not quite where I would like to be but this is heaven compared to during waves. My genital sensitivity is maybe 6-8/10 (10 being pre-ssri), while earlier in February (and during waves earlier this year) it was 0-3/10. I’m shocked and thrilled. I am 18 months off an extremely fast taper of Zoloft. I hope these windows (both sexual and emotional) become my permanent state after a while. Thanks to everyone on this forum who helps me understand what’s going on in my body and gives me hope that I’ll recover.

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Wonderful news!  Thank you for coming back and updating.  It's great to hear good stuff :D

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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23 minutes ago, potions said:

Update at 18 months off: I’m feeling warmth in my body again. Loving feelings. Pleasure. Emotions, and a serene sense of calm and happiness. This is surely a window. Music sounds enjoyable again, I am deeply moved by movies and videos, I feel warm feelings for other people, I have a skip in my step. If I didn’t know about ssri withdrawal I’d think I was bipolar because just last week I was suicidal and numb. Also, my sensitivity in genitals is up!! I can’t believe it... I’m not quite where I would like to be but this is heaven compared to during waves. My genital sensitivity is maybe 6-8/10 (10 being pre-ssri), while earlier in February (and during waves earlier this year) it was 0-3/10. I’m shocked and thrilled. I am 18 months off an extremely fast taper of Zoloft. I hope these windows (both sexual and emotional) become my permanent state after a while. Thanks to everyone on this forum who helps me understand what’s going on in my body and gives me hope that I’ll recover.

Wow! Good for you. That’s great. It’s good you were helped by this site. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Super!! So glad to hear it!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thanks everyone. I am *far* from healed, but it’s these windows that give me hope in this withdrawal journey.

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It's heading in the right direction, that's the main thing.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 3 weeks later...

Update (18.5 months off): I used to be very religious pre-Zoloft, and I noticed that I had significantly reduced faith once I started Zoloft and while being off. I simply stopped believing (and also stopped noticing things in my environment that I thought were God speaking to me etc.) Lately, I’ve been getting more goosebumps while listening to songs and also feeling more religious (thoughts of God are sudden and more frequent.) I wonder if the drug affected the part of my brain involved in religious thoughts and now that part of my brain is finally healing? I’m thinking it might be connected to anhedonia due to the return of goosebumps during songs etc. PSSD/genital anesthesia is still very bad (even in windows) but emotional anesthesia seems to be better currently. Still in a window. But upset because even in this window I have numb genitals and no romantic feelings. I guess I need to give it more time for PSSD (perhaps decades of time lol.)

-potions

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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Also intense feelings of restlessness/agitation/severe anxiety seem significantly better currently and in these past few months than previously during WD

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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That is wonderful.  You are going to be fine, and I see no reason for the PSSD to take decades.  I think you'll be surprised, but I understand how distressing that must be.  You will be as good as new and much wiser!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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9 hours ago, potions said:

Update (18.5 months off): I used to be very religious pre-Zoloft, and I noticed that I had significantly reduced faith once I started Zoloft and while being off. I simply stopped believing (and also stopped noticing things in my environment that I thought were God speaking to me etc.) Lately, I’ve been getting more goosebumps while listening to songs and also feeling more religious (thoughts of God are sudden and more frequent.) I wonder if the drug affected the part of my brain involved in religious thoughts and now that part of my brain is finally healing? I’m thinking it might be connected to anhedonia due to the return of goosebumps during songs etc. PSSD/genital anesthesia is still very bad (even in windows) but emotional anesthesia seems to be better currently. Still in a window. But upset because even in this window I have numb genitals and no romantic feelings. I guess I need to give it more time for PSSD (perhaps decades of time lol.)

-potions

 

Its a good sign. Healing is showing up.

 

It is same for me. The new me has hate thought of God. Idk why.. but earlier I was little religious.. seeking spiritual peace... now I don't.

May be its like dampened with other emotions as well.

 

I know pssd sucks... i m too suffering .. the girl I was attracted to got married..  and I had not approached her since paxil and wdl.. almost 3.5 yrs.

Had to happen. Also I dont imagine living with pssd with a girl.

For me, my emotional and mental loss is big one. Sry... ranting me out.

 

But seems you are getting better.. may be I will too.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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Hey. You guys know better than any doctor. Do you think it's safe to take Adderall for about a week this semester to get through final exams? Or would it throw my nervous system totally out of whack even more? I'm almost 19 months off Zoloft and still suffering from anhedonia, amotivation, PSSD, etc and have taken mianserin in the past 6 months. I don't want to risk messing things up further but if it could be relatively safe I could use the boost in cognition. SSRIs have caused major brain fog and it's difficult to remain focused. Thanks in advance

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Is it safe to take Adderal for a short period of time during WD?

There is a member on this forum (who I will not out) who has been continually telling me that we are probably permanently damaged and PSSD rarely heals. He's told me he's read numerous books about the drugs and psychiatry and that almost all of them say the drugs permanently damage the brain and CNS. He says most people who "recover" don't go back to 100% and most people rarely even improve. He told me that humans are too stupid to treat PSSD so probably there won't be any sort of treatment for this condition for decades. We have been talking outside of this website. He is very negative and has made me cry. He recently told me that nobody goes back to 100% after PSSD and it's most likely permanent damage. This is where I'm getting all of these negative things from. I told him I didn't want to talk to him. I'm in distress now. I wanted to post about this. 1Day, I so hope you are right and this damage can heal. I'm surrounded by conflicting information and a s*%t ton of negativity. He keeps telling me to "Visit the yahoo group and decide for yourself if most people heal or not." I can't bear the thought of this being permanent or the thought that these drugs permanently damaged my brain or CNS. I have many other issues that I never had pre-SSRI that have made my life a living hell. I can't stand this. I'm so upset and scared and really just want to crumble. I can't find love. I can't feel love. I can't feel pleasure. I'm no longer natural in social situations due to my blunted emotions and delayed emotional responses (I noticed this during SSRI treatment and after SSRIs). Edit: I should move this to my intro topic. I hope a moderator will do that. This has no place for this here. I really feel hopeless. My brain is damaged. After SSRIs, I've become a terrible, lazy person. And my life will never be the same

Edited by potions
added some things, want to merge into intro topic rather than here

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
11 minutes ago, potions said:

We have been talking outside of this website.

 

This is a toxic relationship and is something you have control over.  I suggest you break all contact with this person because it is obvious that they are not helping you.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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