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☼ Introducing Jemima


Jemima

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A little over a year ago I had a depressive crash and had to be hospitalized. I'd been depressed before, but nothing like this had ever happened.

 

I blame it on two factors, and I do wish doctors, especially psychiatrists, would pay special attention to the first one: extremely low cholestrol (134) due to Lipitor. The second factor was having to work under the supervision of a man who was stupid and lazy and believed in resolving his personal inadequacies by blaming his staff. My self esteem has never been all that sturdy thanks to an overly critical father, and it was all too easy to become convinced that *I* was the problem.

 

My personal doctor had given me a prescription for Lexapro, which I didn't continue taking because my prescriptions come by mail, and by the time my three weeks of samples had lapsed I was non-functional. After being hospitalized, my psychiatrist at first went along with Lexapro at double the dose, but for reasons I'll never understand, decided to put me on Pristiq instead a few days later, and a few days after that he added Remeron to the mix. I took Lorezapam throughout for anxiety and sleep. I was in the hospital ten days.

 

No one bothered to tell me that Pristiq and aspirin don't mix, or that Remeron causes flu-like side effects, so within two months of returning to work, I began coughing blood and had to take more time off until the "lung infection" was diagnosed. So I ran from one test to another and one specialist to another until I got fed up to there with doctors and tests, particularly the lung specialist who had me nearly convinced that I had esophageal cancer. (The scary "tumor" was, I believe the brass button on my high-waisted L.L. Bean jeans. I was told to strip only to the waist for the scan.) However, nothing was found during an Upper G.I. with Barium nor was anything found during a follow-up CT chest scan, to which I made a point of wearing khakis with a plastic button. As for the "lung infection", no one ever figured out what I had had nor considered the medications I was taking as part or all of the problem.

 

In the meantime, my personal doctor had helped me get off Remeron altogether and switch from 50 mg. of Pristiq to 10 mg. of Lexapro. That worked up until I retired in September. Then my stress level dropped so quickly and so radically that Lexapro was making me manic and unable to sleep. And so I've been tapering off since mid-September and took my last 1/4 tablet (2.5 mg.) on December 14th. I'm just now becoming able to sleep without medication. It's been a hellride and I no longer trust doctors or prescription drugs *at all.*

 

Thanks for being here.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Good morning Jemima love the name cute!I too am trying to get off cipralex.Have been on it over 5 years.Have tried many times to come off with th help of docters only to find the withdrawel hell and would go back on.Thanks to this site i know now i was doing it way to fast.A few times different docters added wellbutrin to the mix.I am now going very very slowly.I am off wellbutrin all together and now down to 15mg of the cipralex.Feeling ok.I have totally given up on docters.I have decided to take care of myself.I am also going to a 12 step program to help me with my emotional needs and that is helping alot.hang in there!

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Congrats on being off meds!!

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • Administrator

Hi, Jemima! Thanks for checking in here and adding your story.

 

It sounds like you've been off Lexapro for two weeks. Did you have any withdrawal symptoms while reducing? How do you feel now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good morning Jemima love the name cute!I too am trying to get off cipralex.Have been on it over 5 years.Have tried many times to come off with th help of docters only to find the withdrawel hell and would go back on.Thanks to this site i know now i was doing it way to fast.A few times different docters added wellbutrin to the mix.I am now going very very slowly.I am off wellbutrin all together and now down to 15mg of the cipralex.Feeling ok.I have totally given up on docters.I have decided to take care of myself.I am also going to a 12 step program to help me with my emotional needs and that is helping alot.hang in there!

 

Thanks for your post. Jemima is actually the name of an ancestor, although I'm not sure exactly where she was on the family tree. She was an artist and a cousin sent me a photo of her studio, which I intend to visit someday. My Bachelor's degree is in Fine Arts and up until I took my most recent job as a auditor for the state insurance department I did quite a lot of painting and sold most of my paintings on eBay. Looking forward into getting back into it.

 

I wish you the best of luck on reducing your meds. I was once given Wellbutrin when it was rumored to help in smoking cessation. It didn't do a thing for me for that purpose nor did it affect my moods at all. I'm not familiar with Cipralex, but I'm sure all the antidepressants are dangerous drugs. Take it easy, and when things seem screwy, remember - it's not you, it's the drug!

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Congrats on being off meds!!

 

Thank you!

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Jemima! Thanks for checking in here and adding your story.

 

It sounds like you've been off Lexapro for two weeks. Did you have any withdrawal symptoms while reducing? How do you feel now?

 

Hey, Alto!

 

I've been tapering off Lexapro since mid-September. I retired on Labor Day weekend and within days began getting manic-y. Saw the doctor in mid-month and she cut my dose in half, from 10 mg. to 5 mg. I tried that for another month or so, but it was still too much, so I cut back to 1/4 tab. I saw Doctor Dearest again at the beginning of this month and inquired as to what to do should the 1/4 tab be too much (it was), and she advised me to take the 1/4 tab every other day and then stop. My last dose was on December 14th.

 

Despite what I read on the 'Net about Lexapro's half-life (27 to 32 hours, or 4.5 to 5 days for it to be undetectable

in the bloodstream), the effects have lingered much longer than that. One of my main problems with Lexapro was insomnia, and I think I'm only beginning to catch up on the sleep deficit. I've stayed in bed for days, dozing on and off. I developed restless leg syndrome while tapering off and got sick from taking too much magnesium so I could sleep. Some nights I still have to take Lorezapam (1 mg.) to knock myself out. Some nights I'm able to sleep without chemical assistance, but I only seem to sleep for five hours and then get drowsy an hour or two after waking and have to sleep a few hours more. (A normal night's sleep for me is 7 to 7.5 hours.) I've had several scary dizzy spells which apparently are caused by sudden drops in blood pressure. The last time I had the wits to check my pressure and it was 98/62. I'm still experiencing periods of not being able to focus and brief memory lapses, but thank God that's gradually getting better. I am extremely irritable. Lexapro is strong stuff, and I'm grateful to God that I was on antidepressants for only 16 months, instead of going through years of hell on them like so many people on this forum. The one thing I'll probably never get over is my anger at the medical establishment.

 

Overall, I'm feeling better, but it's a slow, take-it-one-day-at-a-time process. I look back on some of my behavior while on Lexapro and recognize a certain zombie-like quality that's frightening. The antidepressants really do change one's personality, although it may not appear that way to others.

 

Again, thanks for being here. I doubt that Big Med recognizes post-antidepressant syndrome and would deny it if they did. For anyone who's interested, there's another website called "The Road Back" with a very interesting booklet that can be downloaded for free. They seem to be pushing their own supplement program, but if you can ignore that the information is useful: http://www.theroadback.org/

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Hi... do you mind if I ask how you knew you got sick from taking too much magnesium and what you felt? How much were you taking? I upped my magnesium about a week ago, and in the past couple of days I've felt strange, like I have low blood pressure, and wonder if maybe I'm overdoing it...

 

Thanks.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • Administrator

Despite what I read on the 'Net about Lexapro's half-life (27 to 32 hours, or 4.5 to 5 days for it to be undetectable

in the bloodstream), the effects have lingered much longer than that. One of my main problems with Lexapro was insomnia, and I think I'm only beginning to catch up on the sleep deficit.

The SSRIs have a bad effect on sleep architecture. Good to hear yours is readjusting.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi... do you mind if I ask how you knew you got sick from taking too much magnesium and what you felt? How much were you taking? I upped my magnesium about a week ago, and in the past couple of days I've felt strange, like I have low blood pressure, and wonder if maybe I'm overdoing it...

 

Thanks.

 

That's an easy one. I got a very bad case of diarrhea. :blush: I'm not sure how much I took to get there, but likely 750-1000 mg. I have 500 mg. caplets that I've broken in half because the full dose at one time definitely gives me the "trots". I just kept taking one half caplet after the other to stop that need to move my legs.

 

Magnesium is a calcium channel blocker and so are many blood pressure medications, such as Procardia. If your supermarket has a pharmacy, they may have a machine where you could check it yourself. I've been on blood pressure meds for years, although a minimal dose, so I bought my own blood pressure monitor about a year ago. I'm considering trashing that as well, since retiring seems to have completely cured the stress in my life.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

I was able to take only 50mg-75mg of magnesium at a time. Individual tolerances vary greatly.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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That's an easy one. I got a very bad case of diarrhea. :blush: I'm not sure how much I took to get there, but likely 750-1000 mg. I have 500 mg. caplets that I've broken in half because the full dose at one time definitely gives me the "trots". I just kept taking one half caplet after the other to stop that need to move my legs.

 

Ah, OK! Luckily I seem to deal with oral magnesium chloride really well! I finally figured out it wasn't the magnesium, anyway. Who knows what it was! I have a tendency to low blood pressure anyway... Thanks for the response.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ugh. Just when I think I'm getting better, along comes an after-effect of Lexapro.

 

I felt pretty good when I first got up this morning, and then the Lexapro Trots arrived. This isn't diarrhea, it's numerous bowel movements that continue off and on for one to two hours. Eating restarts it. I'm skipping dinner tonight. (Please note that I'm not a big eater at 5'2" and 125 lbs., and I eat as healthfully as I know how.)

 

Between insomnia and the Lexapro Trots, I'm unable to plan much of anything. I've got a list of things that I need to get done within the next six weeks and I don't know how I'm going to manage them because I can never count on getting up at a reasonable hour or being able to do much regardless of when I sleep or how much sleep I get. I've got to get my car inspected, first and foremost, or I won't be going anywhere by the end of February. My cat is way overdue for her annual checkup and shots. My doctor expects me to get a full panel blood test and probably thinks I'm being stubborn, but my sleep cycle and dietary habits have been so abnormal I'm sure the results will be skewed. I have a prescription to see a PT for the pain and weakness in my arms and shoulders (largely caused by Lipitor) but I haven't made any effort to start a PT program because of this unpredictability.

 

Technically speaking, this stuff was supposed to be undetectable in my blood stream five days after my last dose on December 14th, but that is apparently another medical lie. So maybe it's not in my bloodstream, but it sure is SOMEWHERE IN THERE.

 

A friend sent me some great graphics this morning, and Alto, if you think this is inappropriate, feel free to delete. One of them was a photo of Sigmund Freud smoking a cigar, and the caption read, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes." I'm going to print that out and frame it.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Very amusing Freud image!

 

(I combined your topics, Jemima. In the Intro forum, it's one topic per customer.)

 

A lot of us have had gut problems from withdrawal. Restricted non-irritating diets seem to help; for example, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/890-scdgapspaleo-diets/page__p__7709__hl__paleo__fromsearch__1#entry7709

 

Don't be surprised if blood tests etc. are completely normal. Because the withdrawal problems are in the autonomic nervous system, they often don't show up on any tests.

 

The drug is completely out of your body, but the ways it changed your neurons may take some time to correct.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks very much for the info, but... please, don't take away my chocolate!!!

 

I'm not sure how to post an update to my situation, if not to the Intro section. Would you help me out here, please?

 

The Freud graphic really got to me because my depressive crash was a combination of being surrounded by idiots and cholestrol that had dropped way too far, thanks to Lipitor. (I think that makes my doctor one of the idiots.)

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Oh, your Intro topic is for Updates, too. That way, your progress is all in one place, like a journal.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Well, the diet doesn't look so bad after all. In fact it may help to uncomplicate my life in addition to improving my health. I'm gluten-intolerant (self-diagnosed in 2005) and have spent a lot of time and money on gluten-free ingredients and making gluten-free bread, muffins, and casseroles. Since the diet blows carbohydrates away, I won't be slaving over the oven for a while.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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One of them was a photo of Sigmund Freud smoking a cigar, and the caption read, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes." I'm going to print that out and frame it.

 

Awesome.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

One of them was a photo of Sigmund Freud smoking a cigar, and the caption read, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes." I'm going to print that out and frame it.

 

Awesome.

 

I finally figured out how to upload a graphic. The real thing is at http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1327-being-realistic/

 

Even better "in person"!

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I think the Lexapro hold has finally broken, much like a fever. I swear I felt it go two days ago and have been feeling much better since. Last night I was able to get to sleep without Ativan and woke up at a reasonable hour of the morning. I still seem to tire rather easily, but I expect that will go away, or perhaps it's simply that I'm not artificially energized from Lexapro any more. There is also some unusual irritability remaining, especially in the morning, but it's getting slowly better. The stomach upsets have tapered off.

 

WHEW. If nothing else, this experience has taught me a lot about patience. My tapering off started September 2nd when my doctor suggested cutting back from 10 mg. to 5 mg. I just got off altogether December 14th, which means the drug would have been out of my system five days later. It's been a pretty miserable month, but I'm glad I did it.

 

I just learned to my horror that one of my best friends, who is seventy-five, has been on Prozac for the last twenty years. Her doctor, who I'm beginning to think is a horse's ass, gave it to her for Mononucleosis. When she asked to stop taking it, he advised her not to do so. This jerk also recently gave her antibiotics for flu and then put her on four other medications for what he thought was Thrush and has now decided is Geographic Tongue. He's had her on so much crap that she developed high blood pressure and I assume she's now on medication for that as well. What a racket!!! I looked up Thrush and Geographic Tongue and I think I could tell the difference at a glance.

 

My disgust with Big Med and Big Pharma knows no bounds! :mad:

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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After suffering with extreme irritability every morning, I finally figured out it's that rise in Cortisol that's been doing me in. I just haven't been reacting with panic or dread like so many others. This morning I left the shades drawn and am planning to curtain some windows that are now either bare or covered with frosted Contact paper. Whew. I hope this eliminates the need to take a quarter tab of Ativan every morning. I just read an article on the benzo-whatchamacallits on Benzo Buddies written by Dr. Peter Breggin and it scared me half to death. No one told me how addictive those drugs are or how bad withdrawal can be.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

It's amazing, sometimes you can do simple things to alleviate symptoms.

 

Love this in your sig: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Jemima--

 

Thanks for your story and congrats!

 

I've heard and read a lot about cognitive side effects of Lipitor. They really push those cholesterol-lowering drugs even though there's not a lot of solid evidence that cholesterol is that big of a problem for people who don't already have heart disease.

 

And the brain is MADE of cholesterol. Literally.

 

Especially for older females, I think taking a cholesterol-lowering drug is highly questionable. Higher cholesterol is associated with BETTER cognitive status: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15673620

 

I'm 57 and I actually try to keep my cholesterol at or above 200. (It tends to be naturally low.) I also like my BMI of 28, to reduce my chance of osteoporosis. The women in my family have no history of cancer or heart disease but we do have a high incidence of osteoporosis. One size literally doesn't fit all.

 

Frankly, I take most medical advice with several large grains of salt, and if it involves a profitable prescription drug I tend to assume it's drug company propaganda. I wasn't always like this--it's an attitude I've developed due to sad experience.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Oh, ps, watch those benzos. Benzos had a bad reputation for being hard to quit long before we discovered the same about ADs.

 

Lorazepam is short-acting and can actually CAUSE anxiety and withdrawal symptoms in between doses. If you're going to take it daily it's best to break up the dose and take it regularly throughout the day. And when you're ready to quit you absolutely must taper.

 

Like Alto said, it's not really so much about half-lifes of drugs. That's not really what causes the withdrawal. The thing is, the drugs disrupt your brain function. Your brain responds by changing itself. You destroy some receptors and build new ones; neurons get killed and other ones grow. All of this is concrete and takes time. It involves genes being turned on and off, which doesn't just happen overnight.

 

So reversing all of this doesn't happen overnight either. When you take a drug that alters neurotransmitters, your brain shapes itself around that drug, like a plant on a trellis. When you remove the drug your brain's not its right shape any more and it takes a while for it to reshape itself back to normal. Meanwhile it's lost the trellis it was leaning on.

 

And the same thing happens with hormones and the HPA axis, which also reshape themselves around the drugs.

 

Most doctors don't understand this. They learn everything they "know" from the drug companie$. (Seriously. I'm not just being a radical. It's true. Even the guys who write the textbooks they use in medical schools are being paid big bucks by pharmaceutical companies. If you want to know more details about that I recommend the book Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.)

 

So don't let all that half-life stuff confuse you. It's not really relevant.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Jemima--

 

Thanks for your story and congrats!

 

I've heard and read a lot about cognitive side effects of Lipitor. They really push those cholesterol-lowering drugs even though there's not a lot of solid evidence that cholesterol is that big of a problem for people who don't already have heart disease.

 

And the brain is MADE of cholesterol. Literally.

 

Especially for older females, I think taking a cholesterol-lowering drug is highly questionable. Higher cholesterol is associated with BETTER cognitive status: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15673620

Absolutely. Lipitor has only been proven effective for men over age 35 who have had a heart attack. I'm a 66 year old woman and the only relative who ever had a heart attack was an uncle who had a stressful job and drank and smoked heavily. What was my doctor thinking?

 

 

I'm 57 and I actually try to keep my cholesterol at or above 200. (It tends to be naturally low.) I also like my BMI of 28, to reduce my chance of osteoporosis. The women in my family have no history of cancer or heart disease but we do have a high incidence of osteoporosis. One size literally doesn't fit all.

I had a blood panel done about six months after tossing the Lipitor supply in the trash. The overall number was 204, which pleased me, the good-to-bad ratio was excellent, and my tryglycerides were in the low normal range. What was appalling was Quest Labs' "normal range" for cholestrol levels: 125 to 200. 125??? Mine was at 134 when my depression felt like it froze in place.

 

 

Frankly, I take most medical advice with several large grains of salt, and if it involves a profitable prescription drug I tend to assume it's drug company propaganda. I wasn't always like this--it's an attitude I've developed due to sad experience.

 

I'm with you.

 

Thank you for your post, Rhi. We seem to share a lot of the same views of the medical establishment, and I enjoyed reading what you have to say.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh, ps, watch those benzos. Benzos had a bad reputation for being hard to quit long before we discovered the same about ADs.

 

Lorazepam is short-acting and can actually CAUSE anxiety and withdrawal symptoms in between doses. If you're going to take it daily it's best to break up the dose and take it regularly throughout the day. And when you're ready to quit you absolutely must taper.

The Peter Breggin article scared me so badly I haven't taken Lorazepam since and haven't experienced any withdrawal symptoms. WHEW.

 

Like Alto said, it's not really so much about half-lifes of drugs. That's not really what causes the withdrawal. The thing is, the drugs disrupt your brain function. Your brain responds by changing itself. You destroy some receptors and build new ones; neurons get killed and other ones grow. All of this is concrete and takes time. It involves genes being turned on and off, which doesn't just happen overnight.

 

So reversing all of this doesn't happen overnight either. When you take a drug that alters neurotransmitters, your brain shapes itself around that drug, like a plant on a trellis. When you remove the drug your brain's not its right shape any more and it takes a while for it to reshape itself back to normal. Meanwhile it's lost the trellis it was leaning on.

 

And the same thing happens with hormones and the HPA axis, which also reshape themselves around the drugs.

 

Most doctors don't understand this. They learn everything they "know" from the drug companie$. (Seriously. I'm not just being a radical. It's true. Even the guys who write the textbooks they use in medical schools are being paid big bucks by pharmaceutical companies. If you want to know more details about that I recommend the book Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.)

 

So don't let all that half-life stuff confuse you. It's not really relevant.

 

Thanks again, Rhi.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Many thanks to the info that's been posted on Cortisol levels and how to deal with levels that are too high, I'm now getting a decent night's sleep without pills or alcohol, six and a half to nine hours a night. That is helping *immensely*. I didn't think I'd be able to tolerate a sleep mask, but it's now one of my most prized possessions. I leave it on for a few minutes after I wake up and mentally prepare myself for the bit of light that leaks in around the room-darkening shades and curtains. I keep sunglasses handy, especially at the front of the house, where sun just blazes in from early afternoon to sunset. Eventually I'll get all of these windows curtained or shuttered but I can't handle doing all of it at once.

 

The tinnitus hasn't improved much, but it's more tolerable now that I don't wake up irritated at the world because of too-high Cortisol. I'm wondering if it, too, is related to Cortisol, because it goes away on its own in early afternoon.

 

I'm also learning to take things more slowly and not get uptight if the "Do List" doesn't get done. Hardly anything is urgent and that message has finally begun to filter from my mind to my emotions.

 

Things do get better in time. :)

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Thanks for the great news, Jemima.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

And many thanks to you, Alto, for all your hard work reseaching Cortisol. Had it not been for the articles you posted I might have gone on suffering for many, many more months.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Awww, shucks.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Jemima ~

You mentioned in another thread that ADs made you "hyperactive and zombified" at same time - very interesting that you identified what seem like opposing feelings or states -

I apologize if you've talked about this previously - it just jumped out at me and I wanted to mention -

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Jemima ~

You mentioned in another thread that ADs made you "hyperactive and zombified" at same time - very interesting that you identified what seem like opposing feelings or states -

I apologize if you've talked about this previously - it just jumped out at me and I wanted to mention -

 

I'm sorry I didn't respond to your post sooner. I just went to add an update and noticed that there are now two pages to my intro, and there you were.

 

The 'Night of the Living Dead' part is even scarier now that I know one out of five people in this country is on an AD. We are apparently a nation of zombies. It explains a lot, but makes me quite uncomfortable.

 

I have an older friend whom - at one time - I envied for her childlike faith in Christ. A few months back she told me she's been on Prozac for decades, which really blew my admiration away. No wonder nothing worries her! She's ZONKED!!!

 

The experience of being hyperactive and zombified simultaneously didn't seem strange at the time, but it sure does from here, almost four months off of Lexapro. I think if I would have continued the drug I would have ended up in the hospital from exhaustion or otherwise wrecked my life because I was too numb to be alarmed at much of anything.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

At the risk of jinxing myself, I've had a pretty good month with more good days than bad, and even the bad days are better than the "good" ones when I was in the throes of withdrawal. Sensitivities are lessening: today I was able to go outside in bright sunshine (wearing sunglasses, of course) and spend a couple of hours pruning an unruly Butterfly Bush. I'm still easily irritated and the tinnitus has been bad the past two days, but at last I have some energy and I'm sleeping well every night. The tinnitus now comes and goes instead of being a constant that made me dread getting up every morning.

 

Thank God. It really does get better.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Thanks for sharing that most excellent news, Jemima.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Had a few not-so-good days starting off this week, but mostly due to hay fever, I think. Today started off a bit better - the tinnitus started going away earlier in the morning for one thing - and then something changed around 11:00 AM and I wondered what this strange feeling could be. Omigosh, I felt HAPPY and normal! I had forgotten what it was like! And the tinnitus was gone all afternoon! (It's back a bit tonight, but with a very low and ignorable noise level.)

 

Two things I've done that may or may not have helped: one was taking a supplement called Phosphatidyl-Serine (this is the brand name for Olympian Labs' version; it may go by just Phosphatidyl in other brands) and taking two herbal supplements for hay fever, which are Jarrow's AllerTame, and Feverfew (name of the herb, not a brand name). I've been taking the Phosphatidyl for a week to ten days and the herbs for four days or so. The Phosphatidyl is supposed to help with memory and concentration, and I believe it has. AllerTame is a mixture of herbs, all of which are antihistamines without the side effect of drowsiness, and Feverfew is an herb with a long history of being useful for sensitivities. The feeling of having an inflated balloon in my left sinus hasn't been there since late morning and I'm hoping at least it is gone for good.

 

My withdrawal symptoms aren't all gone (my left eyelid started twitching under the bright flourescent lights in Rite Aid this afternoon), and I doubt that I'm totally back to normal just yet, but it sure is good to see me again!

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Jemima-->Congrats on getting of the meds..

 

Hope you feel better soon...

 

Overly critical mother or father can definitely have a huge impact on self esteem..

 

Hopefully by the passage of time,everything will be reversed.

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