squirrel

Derealization or Depersonalization

173 posts in this topic

I can relate to a lot of what has been posted but I also have another problem that I think is related. Does anyone with dp/dr also have periods of time that seem to be "missing"?

 

It's like I can sit down at the computer and start to read something and then a half an hour will disappear? I'm still looking at the very same paragraph, but time has simply vanished.

 

I think it ties in with the dp/dr that I have but I'm not sure.

 

I don't drink or do recreational drugs. My only med is 6.25 mg of Seroquel at night. I've had this for the past 8 months, but I'm wondering if it's connected to coming off of Klonopin too quickly in June. I also had it after a SSRI cold turkey last march in 2013.

 

Does anyone else have this?

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I don't know if it's the same, but it feels like whole years are racing away without me!

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I think the five months that I have been off the Paxil have been nothing but a blur. I feel like I go through the motions in an empty shell with someone elses hands. It is like being trapped inside myself. I Cannot imagine living like this for years.

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I lose time too, it just seems to go and I haven't a clue what day it is or how long it is since I went out.

Not so much now but it still happens in a wave.  Through the 20 odd years since I entered the maniacal psych system

and it's torturous treatments I've lost big chunks of time. Some holidays I cant remember, whole holidays and we didn't

have many then! Family occasions, some very traumatic events that happened to people and I can't remember. It can

be very embarrassing when they look at me and say they can't believe I can't remember THAT incident.   

 

I also know that feeling like you have somehow been carried through, not being aware enough to get through it yourself. 

It is all very surreal and to be honest I'm glad now that I can wonder where the time went, I don't really want to dwell on

it, just glad that it has gone and my healing is moving forward getting better all the time despite the waves that come

along and knock me off my feet sometimes.

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Glad it has gone for you too, thank you for all your kind words also mammap xx

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Is depersonalization the same thing as messed up depth perception?  Everything looks too far away.  I know that people are here, and I know that I am here, but everything looks too far away.

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Depersonalization as I understand it is a sense that you aren't yourself, like you aren't connected to your body.  I'm not sure if this is part of the technical definition but I also didn't feel human when I had it.  People often get derealization with it, which is a sense the world isn't quite real, like it's been distorted in some way, like it's a dream (or more like nightmare.) They are both dissociative states. 

 

What you are describing maybe would fall under derealization.

 

I had lots of experiences where things seemed too far away or too close, or too big while I had DP/DR.

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I totally relate to this - especially Shep. After dr. quack cold turkeyed me @massive meds, i had intense + incredible "blank-outs". I knew I hadnt blacked out b/c I would've been injured or crashed my car. I would just become "aware" on the side of the road or at home/work while performing a task. I'd look at clock + it would be minutes or hours later. I'd walk my dog + end up at a different park from where i'd started. Entire days would be missing. I was scared + dont know how I made it. Its been a few years since that horror, thank goodness. It does seem different than DP/DR, which I still get occasionally...especially during high-stress. But I will read those links to learn more. Strangely, no p-docs (past or present) seem willing to discuss it.

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My DR/DP has increased to such an intensity since I had to take PNC in Jan of last year.  I have a very complicated drug history but I just don't know how to endure the constant escalation of this.  The whole world inside and out is unreachable.  And because my brain is constantly shrinking the space, everything is getting closer and closer.  I just don't have any coping skills for this.  I have been thru horrendous years of recovery from a bad c/t benzo w/d but that was doable because it remained constant.  I have to find some reason to get thru today, to get thru the next minute. 

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Depersonalization as I understand it is a sense that you aren't yourself, like you aren't connected to your body.  I'm not sure if this is part of the technical definition but I also didn't feel human when I had it.  People often get derealization with it, which is a sense the world isn't quite real, like it's been distorted in some way, like it's a dream (or more like nightmare.) They are both dissociative states. 

 

What you are describing maybe would fall under derealization.

 

I had lots of experiences where things seemed too far away or too close, or too big while I had DP/DR.

I just saw this.  At least I know that what I have is in the same neuro pathway! 

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Is depersonalization the same thing as messed up depth perception?  Everything looks too far away.  I know that people are here, and I know that I am here, but everything looks too far away.

 

The first day I woke up with depersonalization/derealization I felt like my eyes were further back in my head. The fan above my bed looked further away and everything looked 2d. People looked smaller as well. The more familiar or emotionally attached to something (like a family member or my bedroom) the more odd looking and distressing it was. This makes logical sense that if you have lost your sense of self all of the things that were important to that identity would return, visually, to a significance level that other people see them as. For example my car appeared smaller than it did before, but other people's cars did not seem to change. I realized that this was because my car normally appeared bigger to me because it had a great significance to me. (I was practically in love with it). There is a great overlap with the visual system and emotion centers in the brain. Some people with severe DP/DR have benefited from moving.

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I have questions about depersonalization. I was on SSRI’s for 4 years and I stopped without proper taper (because I listened to my doctor). Now I feel like I'm on autopilot and then at times I feel this scary detachment sensation from my body, and also dizziness/vertigo. Like for a split second if im looking at the screen on my phone, or if i look at my hands, it feels like Im a different person looking at my body. Does this sound like depersonalization? Is this normal in SSRI withdrawal? How long could it last? Also it makes my baseline anxiety go really high, how do I stop this? I really need help and your responses are very much appreciated.

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Hi Daveguy, I replied in your introduction thread.

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DP/DR - I'm not sure if I have this but I feel totally dead to the world...no emotions or connection with anything. I get a doom feeling whenever I look at anything. Feels like there is nothing in my head. No anxiety etc...just dead??

 

Does this sound like DP/DR?

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Holy **** am I scared. I had quite bad anxiety all day yesterday and when my husband got home from work I literally felt like he was a stranger. I couldn't really recognize him and I felt like I didn't know how to act around him. This caused me to have a severe panic attack until I finally fell asleep. Begging someone for reassurance because I've woken up and the anxiety is so severe. I can't stand the thought of this continuing like why would God take from me the one person I love the most :'(

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Derealization seems to be my new symptom this week. Started last Thursday and is quite terrifying. Anyone here have updates and have gotten better?

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I used to experience derealization quite severely. It would become extreme whenever I left the house and it was with me at home all the time to a lesser extent. Before I found this site, I didn't know what it was, so it was both terrifying and confusing and I kept trying to go out and expose myself to things, thinking that's what I needed to do, so I further traumatized myself. But when I learned what was going on, I stopped forcing myself to do things which made it worse so that I could reduce the stress.

 

Things which made it worse included bright lights, crowds or even the presence of other people, noise, busy places. Just going outside on a sunny day would make it much worse, any kind of stimulation really.

 

I always felt better later in the day, so I would wait until then to do anything I needed to do. But I think this is the symptom which caused me to become agoraphobic because going out and having it amp up was just so awful.

 

Now this symptom is very much reduced. If it was as high as a 10 previously, now its down to between 1 and 3. I still don't like leaving the house, probably because of the bad memories, but the reality is, when I do, its nowhere near as bad as what it used to be like.

 

This is a common withdrawal symptom and it will go away by itself, knowing that means you don't have to be scared of it, even though its very unpleasant.

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I used to experience derealization quite severely. It would become extreme whenever I left the house and it was with me at home all the time to a lesser extent. Before I found this site, I didn't know what it was, so it was both terrifying and confusing and I kept trying to go out and expose myself to things, thinking that's what I needed to do, so I further traumatized myself. But when I learned what was going on, I stopped forcing myself to do things which made it worse so that I could reduce the stress.

 

Things which made it worse included bright lights, crowds or even the presence of other people, noise, busy places. Just going outside on a sunny day would make it much worse, any kind of stimulation really.

 

I always felt better later in the day, so I would wait until then to do anything I needed to do. But I think this is the symptom which caused me to become agoraphobic because going out and having it amp up was just so awful.

 

Now this symptom is very much reduced. If it was as high as a 10 previously, now its down to between 1 and 3. I still don't like leaving the house, probably because of the bad memories, but the reality is, when I do, its nowhere near as bad as what it used to be like.

 

This is a common withdrawal symptom and it will go away by itself, knowing that means you don't have to be scared of it, even though its very unpleasant.

Thank you, Petunia! That's makes me feel so much better. Great to hear this has lessend for you!

 

I try very hard to accept the feeling but even as soon as a wake up and put my glasses on my vision feels so distorted. This seems to be with me all the time and worse when something stimulates it, just like you said.

 

No matter how hard I try, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up which I know just makes it worse.

 

Hopefully with time, I will be able to focus on it less and it will gradually fade away. Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?

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 Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?

 

 

I wish I did, but unfortunately I can't say anything I tried helped with this symptom. As much as possible, avoid situations which make it worse, unless you can get used to feeling this way, I never did.

 

Your comment about your vision feeling distorted might not actually be caused by derealization, although it may make it feel worse. Withdrawal can have effects on vision too, causing blurriness among other things. I used to have this problem in the mornings also. I also had a lot of problems early on with my reading glasses and kept changing between different strengths because my vision would keep changing, but that has settled down now also.

 

See:  Eye symptoms: floaters, blurred or dimmed vision etc

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Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to lessen the severity?

 

I wish I did, but unfortunately I can't say anything I tried helped with this symptom. As much as possible, avoid situations which make it worse, unless you can get used to feeling this way, I never did.

 

Your comment about your vision feeling distorted might not actually be caused by derealization, although it may make it feel worse. Withdrawal can have effects on vision too, causing blurriness among other things. I used to have this problem in the mornings also. I also had a lot of problems early on with my reading glasses and kept changing between different strengths because my vision would keep changing, but that has settled down now also.

 

See: Eye symptoms: floaters, blurred or dimmed vision etc

Thanks, Petunia.

The vision thing is more like tunnel vision/things look far away. Kinda how you'd feel after a panic attack. From what I've read, seems like classic DR, but I don't know.

 

I love to exercise and this is the first symptom I have gotten which seems to be really aggravated by exercise which is really depressing and anxiety provoking.

 

The few moments of the day when I can distract myself, it does seem to get better. Unfortunately as you know, it's hard to not think about it when it's constant.

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This is by far my most distressing symptom. It's so hard to describe because I feel like I'm present except it always feels as if I'm looking through a fishbowl or behind a glass wall. The brain fog has lifted but it's impossible to ignore or not think about how everything looks.

 

Days when my mood is better and I don't ruminate over it, I do notice an improvement, but it's always there.

 

I don't know how people deal with this for long periods of time. I try to accept it but it's so difficult to not make anxiety worse, which fuels it.

 

Gosh I hate this. I can only imagine the only way it goes away is once our mood lifts and we are able to not obsess over certain symptoms, it will lift. Hopefully sooner than later.

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When I had DR/DP I found that having a conversation with someone in front of a mirror really helped to snap me back into reality. I discovered this technique by accident when I was having a haircut, I could see my facial expressions and my mouth moving whilst I was speaking, it felt strange at first, but it reinforced my connection with the world again. 

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These are my main symptoms right at the moment. They're very difficult to describe. I feel extremely mentally confused and everything seems weird and surreal and scary and not normal. I get surges of weird feelings overcoming me. Don't know how exactly to explain this, but it's terrible and makes it hard for me to function. I also feel like there's something wrong with the way my eyes process reality. My brain can't function properly. I feel like I'm in a daze. Is this common? It's very scary. 

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this is very common in withdrawal , I think it's called derealization , I had it non stop for several months ,  it's getting a tiny bit better . 

it's definitely very scary  and weird . 

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I also try to study, programming and writing..it's very VERY hard. This anxiety/sense of void makes my brain work sooo slow, I am also very confused,sometimes I also fail words when I speak.....and I do 20% of what I should do...at least low progress is better than no progress...but for me that I need to use physics and maths to work is a very HARD challenge...poor me!!!  :(

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This nasty sympton has just raised its ugly head again for me.I haven't had it for a good while and thought it was over.soo frustrating

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I get the same symptoms too i cant even look at ,my self in the mirror because i dont reconize my self and then my fear of going mad hits me really bad .

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These are my main symptoms right at the moment. They're very difficult to describe. I feel extremely mentally confused and everything seems weird and surreal and scary and not normal. I get surges of weird feelings overcoming me. Don't know how exactly to explain this, but it's terrible and makes it hard for me to function. I also feel like there's something wrong with the way my eyes process reality. My brain can't function properly. I feel like I'm in a daze. Is this common? It's very scary. 

I have this too and it is one of the most terrible side effects I know and most difficult to bear. I have this intensely right now.

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I have this too now. Started about 6 weeks ago at around 8 months off. I have experienced mild forms of this prior to drugs during the few panic attacks I had. Then it only lasted a few hours and I never really thought anything of it.

 

The Derealization I have experienced in WD varies in intensity but is constant and different. A glass wall feeling in my vision along with brain fog. It's very very annoying and has been constant.

 

From the good folks on here and everything I have read, it will pass in time, but can linger for quite a while.

 

It did lift for about an hour one Saturday when I was in what felt like a window and I forgot about it.

 

Here's to hoping this all passes sooner rather than later for us. It will in time.

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same here 24 / 7 over a year.

Not having controll over your thoughts and emotion, confusion, no inner monolouge in my head, absolutly dead inside, no personality, can't think about the past or the future, not able to sleep and if then waking up confused, not able to plan, no creativity... like my whole brain has been fried or cut out, my soul taken, my mind raped... whole day suicidal. Those is no ******* medicine, its a ******* torture, antilife, antihumanity, lobotomypill, or suicideidpill would be better name for them. Worst ******* possible death to every doctor who prescribing it like candy and endless suffering in hell with same symthoms, their families should be ******* raped and killed.

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I hear you helpless. I feel the same way about these doctors and their "medications". I hope they burn in hell for eternity. 

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Helpless, my symptoms are similar to yours but hopefully they will lift soon.

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Anyone get bridge of nose/head pressure with their derealization? Tends to make my vision worse which is already bad with the DR. Or could this just be anxiety which seems to be the basis  Derealization? Thanks!

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