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Ladybug's Pax-hell Journey


ladybug

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Wanted to add that I am very sick of all of this. I first started tapering from 40mg in 2006! Yes, 2006! I think I may hold the record for slowest taper ever, so why do I still feel so awful? Things finally started to look up a bit this year and now I feel like it's coming down all around me. I just want to be a healthy, normal person. It's so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when you've been doing this so long. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see so many people begin and end their tapers AND heal from it all while you are still just trudging along, no end in sight. Now that I am heading into what everyone says is the hardest part of a taper, AND being expected to work during that I don't know how I'm going to manage. This is so hard. :(

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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.I know...how long does this have to drag on for...but  you're going the right direction..from 40mg to 5.1mg is no small feat.. Im so impressed you took that job, and I still say your systmem will settle in time, I think the sleep pattern change alone is a biggie for your body, let alone the pressure of a new job. Give it time. It doesn/t necessarily mean a horrible long wave. 

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Thank you, Aberdeen. :wub: I just haven't felt like this in a while so my mind can't help but go to worse case scenarios. Especially since I really like and really NEED this job. Sigh. One day at a time. ((HUGS))

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Ladybug, I'm sorry you're going through such a bad wave. And I relate so much to your general frustration. But, when I read your post, mostly I feel so proud and happy for you. You have accomplished so much! Graduated from college, started a job, and started dating: that's a LOT. Could it be that some of the stress from all that is affecting your withdrawal? Because we all know how well withdrawal and stress go together. But I really hope you can be proud of how far you have come. You are so brave in so many ways. For example, I would never have the courage to talk to some random clueless guy about withdrawal. I am super reserved and have hardly told anyone about it. But it's so good that you do talk about it, because that's how the word gets out. By the way, I too demanded to be put on Paxil, because I had two friends who were on it and they seemed to be doing well. Almost as good a reason as yours!

 

I also want to reassure you about the below 5 mg thing. I really think that how you taper down to 5 mg makes all the difference in how it's going to go once you get under 5 mg.  I think those of us who crashed under 5 mg were really experiencing cumulative withdrawal from many many drops. Songbird and I both crashed hard going from 5 to 4.5, but then had very little trouble going back through that same dose range because we took it so much slower. You are already going so slow that I don't think you'll have any extra trouble at all below 5. I have been tapering down from 5 mg since the summer of 2012, and I can honestly say that every year since then has been better than the last. MUCH better, in fact. It's only when I forgot about percentages and let my drops get up to 17% that I crashed - plus I was usually only holding 4 weeks, so I had that much more cumulative withdrawal catching up with me. I know you won't make those mistakes and I think you are going to feel better and better as you get under 5 mg. You are a withdrawal warrior and an inspiration to me. I know you can do this!

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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Thank you, Rachelina! Reading your post meant the world to me today, it was just what I needed to hear. I'm so bad at comparing myself to other normal, healthy people my age so when I do manage to achieve something I instantly downplay it by saying "Yeah I guess that's good, but it's something you should have accomplished in your 20's" etc. I need to have some compassion for myself just like I urge others to do. I hope you are right that under 5mg won't be as bad as I've heard. I think I've been dreading this part of the taper since I started! But I have to remember we all have our own unique experiences and the best I can do is take it day by day and not "borrow trouble." I hope you are having a better day today, Rach.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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  • Administrator

Ladybug, so good to hear from you. Congratulations on getting your degree and finding a good job.

 

You might find meditating a good way to deal with anticipatory insomnia. After a while, you train your nervous system to calm down.

 

Very sorry to hear about the nausea. Is this a good time for another hold on tapering?

 

Paxil is a curse upon humanity.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks, Alto. The funny thing about the anticipatory insomnia is that most of the time I feel relaxed, it's just that my mind won't shut off as it usually does. I will look into the meditation. I always do it more in rough patches, and when I start feeling better I stop practicing. Not good.

 

The last drop I did was actually a half drop (1%), so I'm really at 5.15mg and have been holding on that for six weeks now. I was going to do another half drop, but with all the recent anxiety I have put that on hold. My experience with long holds is that they don't seem to work for me like they do others. I held for six months in 2013 and my sleep was the only symptom that improved, while others like DR seemed to get worse. When I started tapering again is when I began to see real improvement overall. It's strange and I don't know how to explain it. I'm definitely holding for now.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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My experience with long holds is that they don't seem to work for me like they do others. I held for six months in 2013 and my sleep was the only symptom that improved, while others like DR seemed to get worse. When I started tapering again is when I began to see real improvement overall. It's strange and I don't know how to explain it. 

Maybe the benefit of long holds is not that you are going to feel better during the hold, but that it gives you a chance for all your previous drops to catch up with you, so that once you start tapering again it will be easier. Just a theory. If you continue to taper for a long time without any long holds, do you still see the improvement that you see when tapering after a hold?

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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My experience with long holds is that they don't seem to work for me like they do others. I held for six months in 2013 and my sleep was the only symptom that improved, while others like DR seemed to get worse. When I started tapering again is when I began to see real improvement overall. It's strange and I don't know how to explain it. 

Maybe the benefit of long holds is not that you are going to feel better during the hold, but that it gives you a chance for all your previous drops to catch up with you, so that once you start tapering again it will be easier. Just a theory. If you continue to taper for a long time without any long holds, do you still see the improvement that you see when tapering after a hold?

 

Well I was doing less than 2% drops every 8 weeks for a while there, and then this year I "sped" it up to every 6 weeks. I would think that would be enough time for my body to adjust to every drop but who knows anymore. Any time I have done a long hold I did not notice the tapering become easier once I resumed. As for your last question, it's hard to say really since I tend to do long holds when I'm feeling worse than usual. I didn't do any long holds this year and seemed to do ok despite the new WD symptoms. I really just don't know.

 

Last night wasn't very good. Due to the increased anxiety of the past few weeks I've been trying to cut down my sugar intake but last night I got a craving for pumpkin pie. I had a slice at 10pm which was probably too late. I noticed I was having a bit of heart palps, not really racing but skipped beats and sensations that reminded me very much of the "whooshes" I used to get in poop out and in the very beginning of my taper. I tend to get weird heart stuff after my period, I'm still trying to get my iron levels up to an optimal level, but even so my levels are better than they have been in years, and this was different. Oh well, guess I'll continue to hold and hope things improve.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Paxil All of these friggin' antidepressant meds are is a curse upon humanity.

 

With all due respect, Alto, and I have the utmost sympathy for those of you on Paxil, I felt the need to modify your post!

 

Glad to hear you got your degree and job, Ladybug.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Ladybug, congratulations on getting your degree, a job and dating they are all milestones. Even though you have not been feeling well you still accomplished it and that says a lot. Sorry that you are in a wave hopefully it will pass soon. I can relate to having insomnia it pure hell this month for me has been the worst for me but we will continue moving forward. A slow micro taper is what your brain needs don't get too discouraged after all this it will be worth it. I hope you see better days soon.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Thank you so much, Purple. I pray your sleep improves soon. 

 

I managed to go into work today and was able to sleep at least a few broken hours the night before so that is good! Today was much better than yesterday, and for that I am grateful.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Feel so ill today. Unbelievable fatigue. I mean fatigue has been one of my major symptoms the past few years but it's worse the past couple of days. I've had an itchy throat for over two weeks now and it makes me cough like crazy. It seems to be getting worse instead of better. Don't know if it's allergies, reflux or an actual virus. Fatigued and achy like the flu but no other virus symptoms or fever. Still holding the dose (last drop was 1% two months ago) but don't feel any improvement, if anything I feel worse. Often times I wonder if I am slowly dying from some yet to be discovered illness. I know that sounds dramatic but I can't understand why I feel ill so often. I just don't see how this can be WD when I've been tapering less than 2% every six weeks! I've had a bunch of bloodwork done and it all came back fine so I don't freaking know anymore. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Hi Ladybug,

 

I'm very sorry you are feeling ill and fatigue lately! It's heartbreaking and disappointing given that you are tapering very slowly. I feel you completely as I'm doing through the exact same! I have been tapering less than 1% holding 2-3 weeks for the past year and hit a hard wall the last cut with one episode of sxs followed by another with different sxs added on during the long hold of 3 months this round. You may want to check my recent post to my thread to see how similar our situations are. Anyway, I wonder if you want to consider what I'm doing now to have a longer hold. It seems even the micro taper can tire the brain too much without a real long break for stabilizing.

 

Hope the bad wave is short lived for you and you feel better soon.

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Ladybug,

 

I'm very sorry you are feeling ill and fatigue lately! It's heartbreaking and disappointing given that you are tapering very slowly. I feel you completely as I'm doing through the exact same! I have been tapering less than 1% holding 2-3 weeks for the past year and hit a hard wall the last cut with one episode of sxs followed by another with different sxs added on during the long hold of 3 months this round. You may want to check my recent post to my thread to see how similar our situations are. Anyway, I wonder if you want to consider what I'm doing now to have a longer hold. It seems even the micro taper can tire the brain too much without a real long break for stabilizing.

 

Hope the bad wave is short lived for you and you feel better soon.

Lex

 

Thank you, Lex! It's so disheartening to be feeling so poorly even though you are tapering the "right" way isn't it? It boggles the mind. Lately I've been considering doing another 1% drop but I'm still not sure. The only reason I am considering it is because I've had more than a few times in my taper where I was feeling bad and then dropped a small amount and improved. The last long hold I did a couple of years ago was six months and I felt bad the entire time until I started tapering again. That's when I promised myself that unless I was totally non functional I wouldn't hold that long. Back then I was in the same boat going back and forth for months with "should I or shouldn't I?" My fear was of making a bad situation even worse and of course that is the same fear I have now.

 

No one can answer the question of why I sometimes improve with drops after trying long holds although Iggy did have an interesting theory explaining it that she PM'ed me once lol. Could it be that what I've always considered WD symptoms are actually side effects from the drug? I've been considering that lately. Anyway, right now it doesn't matter. I'm going to be safe and hold for a few more weeks and then reevaluate. Since the majority of people see some improvement with long holds, I think you should do the same. :) Sorry you are feeling so awful, but it's kind of comforting to know I'm not alone in this. I hope and pray that you (and I) start to stabilize soon!

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Completely agree with you on all your logistic, observation and feeling, ladybug!

 

I read your entire thread a few days ago and learned what you experienced about the long hold. I felt the same in the past year thinking more sxs are caused by the drug side effects rather than WD (all types pain allover, great energy, not much mental or psyc sxs) so I pushed through the taper (slow to avoid sudden WD) until recently I got all the typical WD Sx (irregular heartbeats, extreme fatigue, mental confusion, DR, some psych issue, dizziness) which I am guessing I reached a point more WD is taking over. Another interesting observation of my experience, that I had the best week or so right before that hit which kind of supporting my guess as I feel that week was when the side effects was about diminishing and before the WD started. Even though, I kept losing confidence about my guess as I kept getting more sxs over the long hold especially after reading your thread. I was constantly thinking going up or going down with dose. I'm glad I did not change dose as just today I had an almost good day. Also most new sxs are wearing or disappeared. You are at 5.1mg Paxil which is approximately equivalent to 2.5-3 mg lexapro. Have you seen the ssir dose vs. serotonin concentration curve? It shows the turning point of dose that makes the starting of the curve in an almost vertical line pattern, meaning tiny decrease of dose results in huge drop of the serotonin level. That is why most ppl have more difficulty tapering at lower dose. I feel I just reached/past that dose.

 

All is just guessing again unfortunately, from our best guessing ability.

I will try to find that curve for your reference.

 

Thank you for stopping at my thread. I feel we can watch each other closely and learn from each other.

 

Stay strong, it eventually improves somehow.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Yes, I have seen that chart, Lex! It definitely seems to explain why people seem to have so much trouble at the lower doses. The strange thing is the the toughest parts of my taper so far have been around 10-12mg and then again at 7mg. Whether this latest wave was precipitated by the stress of getting back to work after 5 years or if I was just due for another one makes me wonder. The fact that you said you had a good week before the symptoms hit piqued my interest. Before the rough patch I had around 7mg I had been having a great year! I was socializing more, applying to jobs, etc. Then the wave hit and it was a looong one. I held for six months and then started improving when I resumed my taper, but I felt pretty awful for 8 months and only went out for therapy appts., etc. I wonder if that is what is happening again? My worst waves coming after my biggest windows.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Interesting observation, ladybug! It surely is a constant learning from the most mysterious process! I will share my future experience see if a similar pattern. More I learn and travel, more I feel the lack of possibility to know a pattern for such a superdynamic and complicated situation.

 

I'm still holding, been a bit over 3 months now, feeling stabilization here and there one day or another. Fingers crossed this won't lead to another wave.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Interesting observation, ladybug! It surely is a constant learning from the most mysterious process! I will share my future experience see if a similar pattern. More I learn and travel, more I feel the lack of possibility to know a pattern for such a superdynamic and complicated situation.

 

I'm still holding, been a bit over 3 months now, feeling stabilization here and there one day or another. Fingers crossed this won't lead to another wave.

 

Oh don't worry about that. When I said my worst waves come after my biggest windows I meant in a general sense. Even during my windows phases I still have waves and windows throughout. It's certainly not a long all windows phase! LOL. I wish. Basically I refer to these long waves as "rough patches." They are worse and last longer than regular waves, but not quite as acute as a total crash.

 

I'm very glad to hear you are having more moments of feeling stable. I think that is a great sign!

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well the new year is off to an awful start. Had aggression and suicidal ideation during the day and high anxiety all night so that I couldn't fall asleep until 6am. I guess it's my "usual" post period meltdown since I am at day 7 in my cycle but it's usually at its worst day 11-13 so this is early. I'm so awful to anyone around me, but I feel like I can't control my emotions. I'm so bitter at the state of my life and I take it out on everyone else I guess.

 

Five years ago I was at the lowest point in my taper. Not sleeping for days, severe jerking when trying to sleep that made me suicidal. The only thing that kept me going was praying and the belief that I would be so much better in 3-5 years time, maybe even off Paxil finally. But here I am five years later, still struggling. How many more years of this do I have to look forward to? This drug has taken so much from me. Now I am 35 and will have to come to terms with the fact that I may never have a child because of this. If I ever am able to come off this drug I will be well into my 40s and it will be too late. So very depressed and hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Still holding.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Oh, Ladybug. I'm so sorry. And I relate so much, of course. I can't believe how much this drug has stolen from me.....how much life. Today I'm having an awful wave-within-a-crash, so it's hard for me to say anything encouraging. But I really believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even when we lose sight of it. I think you will turn a corner soon. I, and so many other people, have felt better and better under 5 mg, and I think this will happen for you too. I only crashed because I was feeling so good I thought I could taper faster than I actually needed to.

 

You've held for a long while now, even though you have said that you don't do well with long holds and usually feel better after a drop. Maybe it's time for a little drop?? Sending you lots of hugs!

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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Thank you, Rach. I'm so sorry you are not feeling better yet. Paxil is a monster. I can't believe they are STILL prescribing it. Get this: My cousin is a few years older than me and was having fibroid issues. When they checked her out they found possible precancerous cells so they sent it out for testing. But BEFORE they even got any results back guess what they prescribed her in the meantime? Paxil! And despite knowing what I've been through (well as much as she can through secondhand info) she took it. Unbelievable.

 

I'm glad to hear that you did feel better under 5mg until this recent crash. I hope I can say the same, but who knows. And yes, I am thinking of going ahead with another small drop in a week and pray it helps or at least doesn't make me feel worse. Thank you again for the support and hugs. It really does help. Hugging you right back!

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Im sorry Ladybug!! I agree...try a drop...if anything, you'll be moving forward and that alone can feel so good. I  know how you feel about being bitter...I was in a ripe mood with my family last night. Sick of it. And wth....fibroids...is Paxil supposed to cure fibroids now? OMG!!!  Keep on going...we're here together!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Thank you, Aberdeen! Just being able to vent with people who understand and are in the same place has already helped raise my mood a little. I love you, guys.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Gidday baby girl!  It's so good to find you again and see you are still crawling along - like a ladybug I guess, and me a turtle!  Look at you down to 5mg almost!  That is wonderful!  I couldn't wait to get down to 5mg (because I thought I would be good by then - much improved - like many say - the lower you go, the better you get!)  I guess we are just not all the same.  How is it going now, for you?

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Hi, Gran!! I am finally coming out of this latest wave so that is good. I just realized while updating my signature that I have only gone down 1mg two years. That is very disheartening but at least it's progress I guess. What are you down to now?

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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. :) To update, I have found that taking 500mg of Inositol seems to help all these symptoms I've been having about 75%. It's incredible. Still trying to hold on at 6.5mg but may try to drop .001g soon and see if it helps at all.

 

FROM GRANDMAD:  Just reading through your history and reminded how some of us got caught up in this drug for no good reason - you for social confidence and me for pain.  It is a sad, sad story, especially since, as you said they are still prescribing it.

 

I found I also have the shaking and dizzy feeling mid-mornings sometimes.  I usually try and eat every 2 hours, even if it is a cuppa and biscuit.  Has it happened again and was it low sugar or was it your thyroid?

 

What is Inositol and what are all the symptoms it helps with?

 

I don't know why my reply got put in with the quote!

 

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Been on this dose almost 13 weeks now. Well I made a .001g drop a week ago to see if maybe it would help any and it didn't. I feel I am slowly getting worse. I don't know if I should keep holding or what. Please tell me is there anyone at all that feels worse the longer they hold? I thought that was a possible symptom of poop out but I have seen people here on meds much longer than me who feel better on a hold. Could it be all in my mind that I feel worse when I hold too long? I'm too scared to drop and scared of getting worse when holding. I'm at a standstill. :(

Do you remember a few years ago at PP I was going downhill fast, so I stopped tapering.  I sat there for 20 weeks and saw no change and your advice was to taper again.  I agreed with that, but was too scared to - can you imagine that!  Anyway, I tapered by tiny drops.  I was doing a 2.5% taper and adjusted the drops by

weight, so not sure how it converts over, but each week after that saw some small improvement so at 25 weeks I did the usual 2.5% drop.  I think I was at the 5mg.

 

This year, at 4mg the same thing happened - I went downhill, downhill and stopped again for 6 months.  This time, however, I saw a dramatic improvement in many symptoms and only a few got worse.

 

My thoughts now, are it depends on what amount you are at, how long your tapers are and what is going on in your life at the time.  I also really believe that somehow, the processes can sometimes speed up and you are going okay, other times, they slow down you are going crap and your body just needs that extra longer taper to catch up.  I think you can sort of "store up credit" somehow also, because after the 6 month sitting still, the first taper was a breeze, something I have NEVER experienced before!  It caught up to me in the second one, which is where I am now.

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Been on this dose almost 13 weeks now. Well I made a .001g drop a week ago to see if maybe it would help any and it didn't. I feel I am slowly getting worse. I don't know if I should keep holding or what. Please tell me is there anyone at all that feels worse the longer they hold? I thought that was a possible symptom of poop out but I have seen people here on meds much longer than me who feel better on a hold. Could it be all in my mind that I feel worse when I hold too long? I'm too scared to drop and scared of getting worse when holding. I'm at a standstill. :(

 

Do you remember a few years ago at PP I was going downhill fast, so I stopped tapering.  I sat there for 20 weeks and saw no change and your advice was to taper again.  I agreed with that, but was too scared to - can you imagine that!  Anyway, I tapered by tiny drops.  I was doing a 2.5% taper and adjusted the drops by

weight, so not sure how it converts over, but each week after that saw some small improvement so at 25 weeks I did the usual 2.5% drop.  I think I was at the 5mg.

 

This year, at 4mg the same thing happened - I went downhill, downhill and stopped again for 6 months.  This time, however, I saw a dramatic improvement in many symptoms and only a few got worse.

 

My thoughts now, are it depends on what amount you are at, how long your tapers are and what is going on in your life at the time.  I also really believe that somehow, the processes can sometimes speed up and you are going okay, other times, they slow down you are going crap and your body just needs that extra longer taper to catch up.  I think you can sort of "store up credit" somehow also, because after the 6 month sitting still, the first taper was a breeze, something I have NEVER experienced before!  It caught up to me in the second one, which is where I am now.

Hi GrandmaD,

Wow, your comments and thoughts is exactly what I have been looking for in the past weeks as I am still struggling with the direction. I have been holding for 4+ months still suffering a lot with certain things better but others worse. This has been a constant game in my tapering.

 

I also read your intro, and really look forward to read your whole story especially your drug history from your signature!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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I would like to think that by joining up my posts can be of value to others.  After I posted the above, I went back to my journal notes and typed up exactly what improved, what got worse and how long it all took.  What I wrote above was off the top of my head and what I did today is more accurate and I will post it in my thing when I can.  basically, it took from 8 to 10 to 20 to 24 for various symptoms to improve.  That is my problem, with about 15 different symptoms, I had to focus on the worst ones and even then, like I said, some improved while others got worse! 

 

Do you keep a daily journal?  I have found it is very helpful because my memory is terrible.  At times I think I'm better and I look back and I am not and other times I think I am worse and look back to find I am better! 

 

I think from the 2014 taper it would seem that I was tapering too fast at 8 weeks!  Obviously when things improved at 24 weeks that's when I should be tapering, but what do you do about those symptoms that get worse during the 24 weeks!  It is crazy.  Not only that, there is the issue about how long it is taking already, without taking longer!

 

What are your symptoms that affect you the most?

 

I have yet to finish reading your posts, so keep on keeping on! God bless x

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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LexAnger, hi!  I thought I was replying to Ladybug, sorry!  Anyway, it could apply to both of you I guess!  Good to meet you.

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

Link to comment

Hello Grandma! Nice to have you here!

Thanks for sharing your brilliant insight!

 

I also saw more update from your thread and will be there for more :)

Hugs, lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hey Ladybug been reading through your thread...wow what a story....can you describe what you mean by the "jerks"?  I sometimes get what I refer to as jolts....feels like a zap of electricity very briefly in different parts of my body that for a split second causes my muscles to contract in that area.  Also, when you say jerks do you mean like arms constantly shaking and legs constantly shaking?  BTW you are one tough ladybug!

1995 - 2015 antidepressants and antianxiety medicine
Multiple failed attempts to quit/taper anti d/anti anxiety meds since 2008

June 17, 2016 began prozac bridge to get off of effexor xr, stopped effexor xr on June 24, 2016, could not tolerate prozac due to severe side effects so I had to stop it  Currently...300 mg ER of lithium, 1 mg of estradiol, 60 mg propranolol ER, Fish oil 2 x a day, Magnesium Glycinate,  zinc, vitamin c, vitamin d, NAC

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey Ladybug been reading through your thread...wow what a story....can you describe what you mean by the "jerks"?  I sometimes get what I refer to as jolts....feels like a zap of electricity very briefly in different parts of my body that for a split second causes my muscles to contract in that area.  Also, when you say jerks do you mean like arms constantly shaking and legs constantly shaking?  BTW you are one tough ladybug!

 

Hi, DG! Thanks for stopping by. I certainly don't feel tough but that is sweet of you to say.

 

My jerks were what are known as hypnic jerks. People who have never taken meds can experience them, but not usually to the crazy degree that can happen in WD. Basically, sometimes when you are falling asleep, your body jerks you back awake. Before meds, it would usually happen as I was just starting to dream and I would imagine myself suddenly falling in a hole and BOOM awake. I've read that it's possible they occur because your body relaxes too quickly and your brain interprets it as danger and jerks you back awake.

 

It's not the same as what you are talking about, those do sound like zaps or jolts as you call them. WD can sure cause some strange sensations. When I hit poop out and early in my WD I frequently got what I referred to as whooshes. A strange electrical whoosh that emanated from my chest and then went throughout my upper body. Once I got down to a certain dose they stopped and I really only get them around my time of the month, and nowhere as bad as they were.

 

It just occurred to me while typing that I read you are taking hydroxyzine. I was prescribed that once but I never took cause I react badly to antihistamines. When I take Benadryl I get awful electrical jolts in my body. The last time I took it (during that awful insomnia phase I talked about on your thread) I got one HUGE jolt that seriously felt like someone took a cattle prod to me. Thankfully, I don't have allergies but when I do get them I just have to suffer through it, that's how much I hate Benadryl. I never reacted that way to antihistamines before Paxil. Just some food for thought.

 

Hope this answers your question. :)

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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hi there ladybud

 

( on a side note,,, with regards tsh, my doctor told that the medical books state tsh should be between 0.5 and 5.0, however in her opinion for our thyroid to be working efficiently and our body to feel better she said it should be between 1.0 and 2.0) also my t3 and t4 were out of range..

 

you said your tsh was 4.9 which going by what she states is high even though medical books say that to be normal.. therefore It would suggest hypothyroidism.. however because it increased so much from 0.9 to 4.9 in three months it could also be hashimotos..((just my own opinion))

Mine went from 6.6 to 10 in four months 

 

Did you ever get your t3 and t4 checked or your antibodies test??

K x

Still reading thru your journal ... just for interest sake I checked up my thyroid results for 1995 and it was 1.1 and here in Australia they say normal is between .35 and 5.0.

In 2013 my result was 1.7 and now they say normal is .5-4.5.

How can you know what true "normal is when they change it?"!  I notice they have also changed the "normal" for glucose levels also!

Then in 2015 it was 1.3 with the "new normal" being .5-4.0!

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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Forgot to put that my TPO antibodies came out at 8. Under 25 is considered "normal." I finally got an appt. with an actual endocrinologist, but it's not until March!

 

Anyway, my question is: How do you know when to begin tapering again after a long hold? I have been at this dose range for six months now, and I'm still not as stable as I was in May, although I have improved. My sleep has improved the most as it was really bad for a while. The depression has improved greatly as well. Mostly my symptoms are a lot of mental anxiety and DR. If I dropped again it would only be the same amount I was dropping before, .1mg. I'm scared of making things worse, but on the other hand part of me wonders if a small drop might improve my lingering symptoms. This has been the case for me in the past, but who knows now. Patterns in WD seem to change without warning.

How long do you hold for and how do you know when to taper after a long hold, like 6 months?  A VERY GOOD QUESTION!

I note that this post was in 2013 and you were down to 6.3mg but the question is still a relevant one

Because:

you are now lower in dose and it is my opinion that for some of us, the lower we go, the worse it gets.

So:

I say keep holding until you DO see some improvement.

I will just add that, when I was at that dose, in that year I went from 6.6 to 5.6mg and overall it worse a worse year than the previous one.

The following year, overall was worse still.

The following year over all was even worse, so in other words, each year got worse and worse the lower I went.

So:

Again, I would say, hold longer.

 PS Like you, I have done .001 (by weight) drops up and down and it didn't seem to make any difference.

1995-2007      20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain.  Years of up and down doses

2008                Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!)

2009                20mg Aropax.  Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!)

                        2010                10mg.  10% taper.  Lasted 4 months. Crashed again

2011                5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!)

2012                2.5% taper.  6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable)

2013                5% taper.  Big mistake.  5.5mg – 4.6mg  (even worserer)

2014                2.5% taper.  4.9mg – 4.5mg;    2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg

2016                2.5% taper.  3.9mg  Feb 3.8   Mar 3.7  May 3.6   Jul 3.5

2017                2.5% taper.  Jan 3.4;   Mar 3.35;  Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9;

2018                2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3

2019                Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1;

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