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Managing work, other responsibilities, with withdrawal symptoms


elizabeth11

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How were you able to keep working through withdrawal?

 

I'm lucky that I'm self employed. When I cannot make it to work, my income takes a hit, but I don't have to worry about patients or a boss noticing any empty desk.

 

How do you/did you handle work? And keeping life moving along?

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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When I was tapering Lexapro, work was my Saving Grace. I 'had' to get out of bed, shower, make-up, clothes, take daughter to school. I looked forward the the distraction work brought although I suffered many a day there. It was better than staying home. When I am home I obsess, ruminate and worry.

 

I am self employed and this time around it did not stand in my way. However, this friday I knew I needed to get myself into the ER, and I had to reschedule two customers for Monday.

They were darling.

 

Honestly Elizabeth, working while w/ding is doable for me. But the Diverticulitis has been much more difficult.

 

Can you imagine that I actually said, divertic. was worse than w/d :o

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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That is a question I am asking myself now. I have not worked since mid Nov 2011. I have been living off what I called my slush fund, but now I am into my savings. It is time to go back to work soon. My plan is to start with a part time per diem position. The stress will be less than a committed position at an agency or hospital. I have noticed that stress exacerbates symptoms of withdrawal, so it is important I reduce it where I can.

 

I admit to be frightened about going back to work. I hope my professional self will get me through the day. But I also need a plan as to how I will manage the intensified emotions that may pop up. I hope I have the presence of mind to take a deep breathe and let them pass on through.

 

I think eating regular meals with snacks in between will help too. I don't want to put myself in the position of dealing with low blood sugar and any symptoms of W/D at the same time.

 

I also may also have to up dose the Effexor xr when I go back to work. I tapered faster than is recommended, having gone from 150mg to aprox 13mg in 32 days. At one point during my personal journey, I would not have been open to titrating up again. I wanted to be done with Effexor xr and that was all there was to it. But I understand now that going totally off the drug in less than a month like I was attempting to do, does not work for me.

 

Sorry for jumping around a bit. I keep revisiting my W/D. It may be because I am still pissed off that I have to go through this process. But pissed off or not, here I am....dealing with it the best I can.

 

Love and Peace

Effexor XL 2009-2012. CT 150mg Effexor XR  2012, Effexor XR  75mg  2012  then rapid taper to 0, Reinstated Effexor XR 13mg then updosed to 20mg, Tapered to 18mg Effexor XR 4/9/12, Off Effexor XL ?Reinstated  Effexor XL 150 mgs  August  2012, Crashed in November 2012, Prozac 40 mgs 2012 to Feb 2018, Buspar 60  mgs 2012-stopped 2015, Remeron 7.5 mgs as needed for sleep-stopped Feb 2017, Prozac 50 mgs Feb 2018 to March 2018, Lexapro 5 mgs March 18 2018 to May 17th 2018, Lexapro 2.5 mgs  May 18th to May 26th 2018, Prozac 10 mgs May 15th 2018, Prozac 5 mgs May 19th 2018 to current day May 28th 2018,  Xanax 0.25 mgs to 0.5 mgs daily for over 15 years. Increased Xanax to 1.5 mgs Sept 2012, Tapered Xanax to 0 mgs  May 2013.Reinstated Xanax Feb 2017 at 0.125 mgs as needed, Gradual increase of Xanax to 1.5 mgs daily till May 22nd 2018, Xanax 1.25 mgs daily. Holding

 

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I was not. Every w/d attempt (cold turkey of by alternating doses, I was not informed about tapering) I got so terribly sick by the lightning-fast withdrawal I havd to leave my working place. And was only be able to resume work after reinstating the drug.

After my last c/t I decided to hang on and eventually offer my job to it, still not knowing that w/d can be the utter hell for many many years, just to learn about it on the other site about 18 months in w/d... Now I am almost 4.5 years off the drug and 4 years unemployed due to w/d. Luckily I got paid until recently for illness, otherwise I would have hardly another option than ending it all.

The only good part is that I got so much time that during the windows I was able to study and fill up the knowledge gaps which were a culprit in my career as a computer specialist. And no, just befoe total recovery I hope, am better prepared for re-entry on the job market. But I know that working vcan be completely impossible during WD and that is probably the reason for so many suicides after quitting an SSRI...

10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again!

 

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It is interesting to read that so many people had such different experiences.

 

I think Nikki is right, that having work and a child can add needed structure for some to avoid the ruminations.

 

But I also know what it is like to feel like getting out and about is quite difficult, more like Claudis mentions.

 

Hope to hear from others on this board!

 

Thanks so much for sharing!!!

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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A therapist told me while working...during withdrawal....stick to the basics:

 

Eat well

Be compassionate with yourself

Rest,rest and rest

Support network

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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I just went back to work after 6 months. I am 3 months off lexapro. It is awful. I get dizzy at work. I am so exauhsted after work I can hardly function. I am not sure I can reallydo it. And no one understands either. My husband is always asking me why I'm so tired. I am in a world all alone struggling and suffering but I still do it to make money .... I am not sure if I can really handle it too much longer though....

Everything was ok. And then it wasn't.

 

Med History

11/2009- 50 mg Zoloft (1st ad ever) in combo w/.50 xanax for 2 weeks then use xanax as needed (1st benzo ever)

9 days on Zoloft, I was awake for 9 days straight C/T Zoloft

11/2009- trazadone to sleep for 2 weeks c/t Trazadone

12/2009 start 10 mg Lexapro w/ Xanax as needed

5/2010-3 week taper off lexapro

9/2010? back to Lexapro 10 mg after 5 or 6 weeks c/t leapro

12/2010-10mg paxil

5/2011-6 week paxil taper

8/2011 5mg lexapro

last lexapro pill January 7 2012

all this as per doc orders Thanks Doc!

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Ajnjj-

 

Pat yourself on the back for returning to work. :)

 

Is there anything particular about being back at work that gets to you? That makes it hard to do?

 

I don't know if jobs that involve a lot of human contact make it easier/harder because we have to get outside of ourselves (which can be great and very healing) or can be frustrating as a source of stress because we have so much to deal with-people are so conflicting and sometimes hard to be around.

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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Ajnjj...

 

Are you able to sleep at night? If so, can you pick an early bedtime with a ritual before- hand, like a hot shower, good book/reading/journaling (it is a great release).

 

Would your husband be interested in viewing this site, in particular, the topics of the effects of WD? He may be able to gain a better perspective.

 

It took me 2 years to get over the EBV. Preiodically it re-activates from stress and lack of sleep. I get rid of it by laying down with a comforter with the TV on and I go to sleep and recharge my batteries. It causes migratory aches/pains/melancholy.

 

You really do have a viral infection in conjunction with the ssri issue. I read a few books on EBV and how to bounce back holistically....check out amazon.com to see if there is anything.

 

Hang in there....eventually this will work it's way out.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Thank you ! Unfortunately, I am a part time bartender , late hours! and I have 2 babies. I get no rest, which seriously amplifies my symptoms. My husband has read a lot about it but I think in his mind , he doesn't believe in long withdrawal processes. The EBV is what I am currently trying to figure out. Doc says High numbers from past infection, could indicate chronic EBV. Told me to get b12 shots eand get rest. I will check out books on the EBV like you suggested. The neuro symptoms are the worst for me though....hoping you are well!!!

Everything was ok. And then it wasn't.

 

Med History

11/2009- 50 mg Zoloft (1st ad ever) in combo w/.50 xanax for 2 weeks then use xanax as needed (1st benzo ever)

9 days on Zoloft, I was awake for 9 days straight C/T Zoloft

11/2009- trazadone to sleep for 2 weeks c/t Trazadone

12/2009 start 10 mg Lexapro w/ Xanax as needed

5/2010-3 week taper off lexapro

9/2010? back to Lexapro 10 mg after 5 or 6 weeks c/t leapro

12/2010-10mg paxil

5/2011-6 week paxil taper

8/2011 5mg lexapro

last lexapro pill January 7 2012

all this as per doc orders Thanks Doc!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I just finished reading Whatever's recovery story. Wonderful and full of info. She said her Job History was ruined. I didn't want to post this there to take away from her message. I have a nagging thought everyday that I can't seem to escape. It drives me crazy and affects my self esteem. I lost my job in 2009. I liked it and was very good at it. That place felt like my second home. Co-workers were really nice. Major lay off. I was terribly depressed and nervous. I just finished a Lexapro taper and was weaning onto Imipramine. Ex-spouse lost his job. (affected alimony big time). I made a commitment to find a job. I did. I was a lousy job (only thing available) and I knew it would be temporary. I was quite depressed. Found another job in a hospital. Was surprised I was hired. I am not a medical coder/biller. The hospital uses outdated software and the job itself and the manager were a nightmare. There was really not much training. I knew I didn't belong there. I was having panic attacks for hours-on-end. I was unable to retain information. Within 2-3 weeks I was fired. I was relieved in one respect - but - my self esteem took a major nose dive. Back to looking. Found a job at Hospice. I put so much pressure and fear onto myself to make this work. It was a 12 hour shift - Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The job was the height of insanity. Above of it was very, very sad. I cried everyday as patients passed and their families needed consoling. I was a Secretary. I felt myself spiraling downward. Again I was terrified of making a mistake. Guess what? I made mistakes. The head secretary did give me a hard time. She had an overactive thyroid and was Obsessive Compulsive. What a nightmare that was. I have excellent customer service skills, manners and etiquette. She and the other secretary were told they needed to learn from me. They didn't like that much. I knew I was going to get fired again, and I did, however this time, they told me they would like me to stay in Hospice but in a Customer Service position. None were available. I had to see an EMDR therapist. I could not stop crying. I get choked up thinking about it now. I obsessed over what I did wrong, why I could not do those two jobs. Were they lousy employers or was I just an anxious, over- wrought loser who is incapable of learning and retaining. I made the decision to go back into business for myself. I have a terrible fear of returning to 'corporate America' and a desk job. Everyday I think about what happened? It still bothers me. Was it me or them? Why was I such a wreck? Lots of shame, self doubt and anxiety. And then there was Occupy Wall Street, and I felt a little better. Employers treat people like garbage. Whatever you can share I would appreciate. I have anxiety even looking at Craigslist. In business for myself I am not anxious, love my clients, and above all there are not 'head trips.' Thanks guys:)

Edited by KarenB
merged similar topics

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Hi Nikki,

I am sorry this is bothering you. I work in a field where I have had lots of experience counseling managers and employees about how things go at work. I can tell you that it's not always just the employee who if failing when things go bad. One of my favorite sayings is "poorly performing subordinates are a reflection on the supervisor." While sometimes there are people who do bad things and should be fired, when it comes to performance issues, it sounds like your manager in the billing job made some bad choices in even bringing you on for the job if you were surprised you got the job. Once on the job, we're you supported in being successful and getting what you needed to get the job done? I am guessing not, and it was a nightmare all around, so the manager took the easy way out and fired you rather than deal with what it takes to get things on track. In the situation with the catty coworkers, count yourself lucky to be gone. I see that very often in work situations, and in several different kinds of organizations. I am trying to say that it's not always just your fault. Good, happy, successful employees are not just islands, they grow in good organizations, with good bosses, and good coworkers.

 

If you do think about going back to work, maybe try to look at the culture of the organization before applying. People often only think about what they will get paid, but also think about how you will feel working there. I like to ask questions in interviews like " why is this job open", it will sometimes reveal what's going on. Also if you can interview with future peers, even better, ask what is it like to work for the boss, and for the organization. You will hear what is going on. If its good, people will say a lot. If they clam up, run!!

 

Anyway, I just wanted to offer a hug and some words to clear your head from thinking its all you. It's never ALL the employee's fault, but firing the employee is usually how it plays out. Everything is complicated by withdrawal.

 

R

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Thank you...

 

At the hospital my computer didn't work for the first week. The second week I did not have a working phone. The tutorials for the some of the software was discontinued. While I was there two people transferred. I could sense the tension/stress amongst the employees. To admit one patient for a simple blood test required 3-9 different applications. The Jupiter Medical Center only uses 1. State of the art facility. The major admitting program was in DOS...the dinosaur age. They were being denied Medicare payments or receiving only partial payments because they had not switched over to the newer universal applications.

 

Yes they were a nightmare. Thank you for helping me to see what I was dealing with.

 

Hospice is a no-no for most people. The money was good as were the benefits, however a Hospice facility is just too sad. I had to contact the funeral homes, etc.

 

In my heart, I know they were not very good jobs, and they really weren't for me, but during the height of the recession, it was "take what you can."

 

As for me.....the anxiety I had was there from a lay off and the ensuing problems. I had terrible panic attacks and I had a hard time retaining info.

 

I somehow think I may have been led to going back into business for myself. I make more money per hour and I enjoy what I do. No pressure. I do carry my own health insurance and dental insurance and will probably never let go of that again. It gives me independence. Some days I check out Craigslist and get this awful feeling.

 

Thanks again

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • 5 weeks later...

Is there anyone on this board that is currently holding down a job while going through discontinuation syndrome? If so, how do you cope? I'm trying to enlighten my sister-in-law on how long it takes to be healed, as she is one that thinks 2 weeks should suffice. I'm trying to impress on her the damage this poison does to your brain, and it may take several years to recover from the damage, if at all. (This is the sister-in-law with 2 autistic children)

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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Is there anyone on this board that is currently holding down a job while going through discontinuation syndrome? If so, how do you cope? I'm trying to enlighten my sister-in-law on how long it takes to be healed, as she is one that thinks 2 weeks should suffice. I'm trying to impress on her the damage this poison does to your brain, and it may take several years to recover from the damage, if at all. (This is the sister-in-law with 2 autistic children)

 

From the few people that I've seen here that lists the drugs they've taken in their signature, I can assume the average period of consumption (for lack of a better word) is 15 years. I'm trying to impress this on my sister-in-law why it is so difficult to get off this poison. I am attempting to show her, after taking these drugs over an extended period of time, our brains have been rewired, and possibly permanently. Each withdrawal has to be custom, considering it is our individual bodies telling us when to make the next move. Is this information not correct?

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic speaks about the increased disability that correlates to increased psychotropic use over the years. That may be a place to start.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic speaks about the increased disability that correlates to increased psychotropic use over the years. That may be a place to start.

 

Thanks for the reference. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law is not convinced about the damage this stuff does. Her line, like the rest of the family, You've only been on this junk 6 months, you should be off it and getting your arse out the door to find work in a week. I've tried to explain that I've been on 5 other antidepressants over 15 years, and the results are cumulative. Brain cells do not regenerate overnight. But just like the rest of the Pennsylvania Dutch, you can not convince them no matter what you do (unless you threaten suicide, then they're liable to had you the tools. I'm not talking about the Amish and Mennonites at this point: at least they care.) She know what kind of damage this stuff would do to an autistic child: whey she doesn't make the connection for adults is beyond me.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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Perhaps this has been discussed... there have been successful lawsuit because SSRIs cause birth defects including autism, I believe. I hope I'm not misstating that. Just thought I'd mention.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Perhaps this has been discussed... there have been successful lawsuit because SSRIs cause birth defects including autism, I believe. I hope I'm not misstating that. Just thought I'd mention.

 

She was never on an SSRI, if anything she pushes a naturalopathic diet.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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It might not be as much of a stretch for her to understand that these drugs cause toxicity in adults if she is aware that they cause autism in utero. I find that coming from a 'common ground' facilitates dialogue.

 

EDIT: I'm sorry, Meistersinger, I see you've stated this exact thing in original message.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Work was and is still a saving grace for me. I was only on one drug each time, not cocktails.

 

I would not have been able to work if I attempted to get off paxil. It was totally incapacitating, so I elected to take Lexapro and do a crossover. About 4 months after that crossover I was out looking for a job. I was okay.

 

When I was doing the Lexapro taper I was not okay. The thought of staying home made me feel even worse. I had the anxiety in my home, so going to work helped alleviate it or distract me.

 

I worked at a Country Club, so in the mornings, I would shower, do my hair, make-up and wear very nice clothes. I was dressed very well and it helped me. Going to work gave me a sense of purpose in the mornings. I would wake up, dry heave, cry, have terrible anxiety, BUT I somehow pushed past it and went to work. By the time I got there I would feel better.

 

At time I was agitated, jumpy, dizzy, nauseous, diarrhea, aches & pains, head pain, anxiety & depression, insomnia..........it was a juggling act, but somehow I did it.

 

For me it was better than staying home alone and ruminating on how awful I felt. If I stayed home I would have been suicidal.

 

Again I was not tapering from several drugs.

 

PS....I had problems with memory, forgetting, and I made mistakes as a result, but it was a very nice environment and I had a terrific boss.

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Share on other sites

Nikki,

I believe losing my sense of purpose/career/reason to get out of bed and house was what put me over the edge and into psychiatryland. I was on antidepressants before then, but lots of time on my hands.... idle mind...devil's playground.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I'm not trying to do a job and my heart goes out to any/all who are working. It's not easy for me to just manage housework while WDing. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. My son and his GF tell me that I'm a control freak BC I worry about them when they are an hour late coming in...usually don't answer when I try to contact them. They think I should be able to control my emotions and not worry or whatever.

 

One couple I've confided in, thinks I should go to rehab for two weeks and just be done with it. I can't get anyone to understand what I'm going through. This makes me feel so alone! This makes me value this forum! I don't think anyone can possibly understand what we are going through.

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I am working but it's a struggle. Have been very open with my bosses and they have been understanding. I often feel exhausted and have memory problems. Sometimes I can get a bit stumped trying to solve problems. I think some of this is due to the mirtazapine but it has been highlighted and exacerbated by withdrawals

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Tezza,

RE: detox. BaaaHaaa!

Awhile back, I called Betty Ford Center (among others) and asked about their program for detoxing from ADs, knowing they would NOT understand but worded it assuming they WOULD as the preeminent detox center in the world. The response was funny. I could feel their eyes glazing over! I was transferred to about 4 people then told someone would call me back. Never did, of course. There was 1 detox facility in West Virginia who understood although they did not have a formal program because it is such a long process. I may try to contact them again just to get names of people/doctors who acknowledge the complexity.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Tezza,

RE: detox. BaaaHaaa!

Awhile back, I called Betty Ford Center (among others) and asked about their program for detoxing from ADs, knowing they would NOT understand but worded it assuming they WOULD as the preeminent detox center in the world. The response was funny. I could feel their eyes glazing over! I was transferred to about 4 people then told someone would call me back. Never did, of course. There was 1 detox facility in West Virginia who understood although they did not have a formal program because it is such a long process. I may try to contact them again just to get names of people/doctors who acknowledge the complexity.

 

Heh, I wonder if there will be a separate section in the new DSM for AD withdrawal... I don't remember all the categories they propose, but I'll bet this is not there! Would that be poetic justice, or injustice?

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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BaaHaaa! Is there a code for benzo withdrawal yet?

Edited by KarenB
merged similar topics

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 3 years later...

Are there any current members on here who would like to chime in regarding work? How has it been for you? How did you explain or approach having been out of work for such a long time? A teacher at the career center I went to said I should say I was dealing with family affairs. I'm just curious how people's personal experiences have been with all of this.

 

A huge mixture of factors is keeping me from work, withdrawal being the biggest one of course.

 

I'm also lacking confidence because I haven't worked much in my life, spent most of my time in school and volunteering. Ended up failing out/dropping out of a master's program, so that doesn't help my confidence much either. 

 

On days that I'm more functioning, I'm able to get a fair amount of housework and errands done, but always have the freedom to take breaks when symptoms arise.

Last taper was off of Lamictal (Lamotrigine): Started drop from 225 mg in April 2014 by going down 25 mg every 2 weeks. Then to 12.5 mg every 3 weeks. Then 10 mg every 3 weeks. Then 5 mg after 3.5 weeks. (using the chewable, dispersible pills) I had gone down to 30 mg, but was far too sick and went back up to 35. I then dropped back down to 30 mg, then 1 mg drops until 25 mg. Dropped off completely at 25 mg because the symptoms from taking the pills were becoming more unbearable than the withdrawal at times. Completely off as of 5/11/15. Update 10/28/15: Reinstated 0.0625 mg, meant to take 0.25, measured wrong. Only took 2 days.

I've gotten off of: Abilify, PRN Klonopin (0.5-1 mg) - no taper as took it infrequently, and Effexor (300 mg). Abilify and Effexor were rapid tapers around the beginning of 2014. After tapering Effexor and Abilify I tried taking Remeron and Topamax for a short time with very bad side effects. (I have taken numerous psych drugs over the years (starting in my early teens), but these were the ones I was on when getting off completely).

On 2/9/15, received a Promethazine injection for nausea, which caused pain, numbness, burning, shooting pain and was prescribed pain meds (made me sick and didn't help), 5 days of Prednisone, and some sort of anti-inflammatory. I had been doing somewhat better with Lamictal taper until this point.

Current Supplements: Omega-3 with Co Q-10: 1000 mg x 2, Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids and Rose Hips: 500 mg x 2, Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotics

 

Dx: Asperger Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD), GAD, and PTSD

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Yes, saying it was family matters is good BUT make sure you let them know that they have been RESOLVED, otherwise they may think they may crop up again.

 

Volunteering is excellent for gaining you confidence.  It also shows a prospective employer that you are willing to work.  Also doing some study, even if it is online, shows that you are willing to learn.  Every little bit helps.

 

CC

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the advice, ChessieCat. I've done a little bit of volunteering here and there, but nothing consistent. 

 

I'll make sure I say things are resolved. The idea of lying in a way, by saying it was a family matter to a potential employer, makes me anxious. Since other people who are more knowledgable think that's the way to go, I'll trust that it's a good response :).

Last taper was off of Lamictal (Lamotrigine): Started drop from 225 mg in April 2014 by going down 25 mg every 2 weeks. Then to 12.5 mg every 3 weeks. Then 10 mg every 3 weeks. Then 5 mg after 3.5 weeks. (using the chewable, dispersible pills) I had gone down to 30 mg, but was far too sick and went back up to 35. I then dropped back down to 30 mg, then 1 mg drops until 25 mg. Dropped off completely at 25 mg because the symptoms from taking the pills were becoming more unbearable than the withdrawal at times. Completely off as of 5/11/15. Update 10/28/15: Reinstated 0.0625 mg, meant to take 0.25, measured wrong. Only took 2 days.

I've gotten off of: Abilify, PRN Klonopin (0.5-1 mg) - no taper as took it infrequently, and Effexor (300 mg). Abilify and Effexor were rapid tapers around the beginning of 2014. After tapering Effexor and Abilify I tried taking Remeron and Topamax for a short time with very bad side effects. (I have taken numerous psych drugs over the years (starting in my early teens), but these were the ones I was on when getting off completely).

On 2/9/15, received a Promethazine injection for nausea, which caused pain, numbness, burning, shooting pain and was prescribed pain meds (made me sick and didn't help), 5 days of Prednisone, and some sort of anti-inflammatory. I had been doing somewhat better with Lamictal taper until this point.

Current Supplements: Omega-3 with Co Q-10: 1000 mg x 2, Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids and Rose Hips: 500 mg x 2, Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotics

 

Dx: Asperger Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD), GAD, and PTSD

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I can understand your concern but think of it this way, it was a family matter regarding a very close family member!!! ;) ;)

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Mentor

funny, I was laying in bed last night, unable to sleep but knowing that I could get up at noon or later (and did, I got up at 12:30!) and wondering how on earth people with jobs make it thru this.

 

My hats are off to you, it can't be easy. I feel I'm having an easier time of things, but when I imagine that I had to go out and 'do stuff" and not JUST take care of myself, and then the things I'm currently dealing with don't seem so little.

I haven't worked in a long time, but I remember how hard it was dealing with it all. Bless all of you who are dealing with W/D and work as well. and that includes the job that is seldom called work but is probably the hardest job of all, being a parent. you should really be proud of yourself, I think.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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I have a job with 75% workload at the moment, I have been doing this for a year. and it seems I just can't handle it anymore - cannot tolerate so high workload and stress. I'm so tired all the time and at the verge of a burnout. I made a cut several months ago but I'm just not stabilizing, the tiredness with this workload is awful.

 

I may have an opportunity to go back to project based work, working at home with a very small workload. Pay is also very small. it would mean that my boyfriend would have to start supporting me quite a bit. we have only been together for 6 months, everything is very good between us and he is very supportive. but I don't know, I feel quite guilty that he would have to work all days and I can just be. at the same time I don't think I will ever get healthy with this workload. 

 

just wanted to share..

in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg. Jumped off fluoxetine 1,4mg due to pregnancy in July 2019. Oct 2019 severe withdrawal syndrome started.

Took mistakenly a complex for hormonal support that included pregnenolone dec2019-april2020. Stopped it april 2020 and immediately severe akathisia started. Have had life threatening akathisia since, 100% disabled, suicidal, very hard to hold on. 

 

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At the beginning of wd (I went off ct) I lost my job. In hindsight I can say: thank god!!! Just thinking of any commitments was killing me. After 8 months I start working as a freelancer for 1-2 hours per day. Now I am working the 13th month. The main time it works very well but there are still days where I have to cancel all my dates. Last summer I quit working for 4 weeks because a bad wave was hitting me. That's the big advantage of working freelance. I can quit for a longer time if necessary.

My experience is that it works better than expected if I just do it. The best way for me is to have no time thinking about it..

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yea, I'm also trying to get back to project based work and freelancing. it's much more flexible and suits me better in withdrawal...

in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg. Jumped off fluoxetine 1,4mg due to pregnancy in July 2019. Oct 2019 severe withdrawal syndrome started.

Took mistakenly a complex for hormonal support that included pregnenolone dec2019-april2020. Stopped it april 2020 and immediately severe akathisia started. Have had life threatening akathisia since, 100% disabled, suicidal, very hard to hold on. 

 

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I've worked full time with the exception of a few months off during this. There were days that I honestly don't know how I made it through. Sometimes though just knowing I had to get up and get dressed/ready helped me push through. Although, I do have to say that at the worst of the ct WD symptoms ~ I had no idea that's what was wrong!!! Not until I found this site a few months ago that I was able to connect the dots. The one thing that did help was my boss wasn't in much so if I was having a really bad day, I could take it easy.

On Zoloft for 10 years (50 mg) for GAD & panic attacks

Weaned off fall of 2013, terrible set back in Feb '14 back on 100 mg & trazadone to sleep.

Did CT off of Zoloft in May 2014 - bad decision!

Back on 50 mg Zoloft & Xanax as needed (was upped to 75 mg by doctor in Feb 2015)

Started to wean off of Zoloft in April 2015 ~ totally off Zoloft in Oct 2015 and now am on Buspar 11.25 mg to help.

I was on a 50 mg pill & 25 mg pill - I cut the 25 mg pill in half (12.5) and took that with the 50 for 6 weeks - 1st week June 2015

 50 mg for another 6 weeks. 25 mg in half and the 50 mg in half (37.5), 25 mg mid Sept for about 2 weeks.,1/2 of the 25 mg last week of Sept/1st week of Oct then off.

Update** 9 mg Zoloft reinstated early Nov 15, along with 1.5 mg Buspar daily. On .50 of Buspar & 9 mg of Zoloft. Oct '16 - off of Buspar, Nov '16 - down to 7.5 mg Zoloft. March'17 - 4 mg Zoloft. July'17 - 2 mg, Sept 1 mg. Oct'17 - off! Done!

I also take magnesium, L theanine, Gaba Calm, L Glutamine, Vit B complex(for methyl issues), Liver & Gall bladder support, Zinc, Whole Food Vit C & Fish Oil. DARE & the bible are the tools I use to help navigate this  process.

 

 

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