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Managing work, other responsibilities, with withdrawal symptoms


elizabeth11

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I'm so lucky I work from home. But I will have to travel soon and the thought of being on an airplane with this anxiety and inability to concentrate properly scares me. If this doesn't clear up soon I might have to look into disability. 6 weeks into WD plus reinstating again! Luckily I can sleep again after two weeks of insomnia.

Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs.

Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010.

Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues.

Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until

12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges.

Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016.

Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016.

2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days

6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron

10/11/16: Off all psych medications

 

After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue.

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Work has been a very stressful topic for me. At first during withdrawal I was in acute pain and discomfort. Somehow I managed to work 2 or 3 days a week for 5 months. It was hell. I think only because of the severe pain. My body was going into shock from my taper. Ive been almost off work for a full year and although I'm improving I need to get much stronger before I can have any kind of schedule. My family sees how difficult this is because Im not doing any of the my leisure activities either like sports and exercise that ive loved my whole life. Honestly if I were strong enough to exercise and work withdrawal wouldn't be so tough for me. My symptoms are still way too strong. Not making any money or collecting disability has been the roughest part. Even when i gently push myself it backfires, I end up in bed for a week. Hopefully this year the strength comes back.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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I've been going through both benzo and antidepressant withdrawal, all the while staying on a full time job.  I have a VERY UNDERSTANDING boss.  It wasn't easy in the least. But I kept going, because my family needed me to provide. I seem to be through the worst of it, and have been enjoying a significant improvement in my symptoms due to a lightbox.

1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15

Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84

Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. 

Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist.

 

My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health.

 

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just curious if anyone out there filed for work disability. Its one thing sucking it up and going to work with the anxiety. But my brain is like 70% now not to mention the insomnia. My Psych today said she can type up a work disability request. But she isn't saying I have WD of course. It's GAD. Does that fly with employers ?

Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs.

Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010.

Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues.

Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until

12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges.

Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016.

Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016.

2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days

6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron

10/11/16: Off all psych medications

 

After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I think it depends on the symptoms you are having, and their severity.  Some people find having to work helps them by taking their mind of their symptoms, while for others it is impossible.  When I crashed I had to take time off work, and then went back part-time at first, for just a few hours a day, which I found very difficult, as I had akathisia and anxiety, so it was almost impossible to sit at my desk and concentrate. 

 

For years I worked in a high pressure IT job, and over the years the stress and pressure got worse and worse - stress from this job was how I ended up stuck on an AD.  After my crash when I had updosed and stabilised and started tapering again, it dawned on me that I was never going to be able to get off the drug as long as I stayed in that job.

 

I now work part time in a completely different job, and I'm sure there is no way I could do my old job now.  I have so much fatigue, I don't think I could manage working full time.  If I work a full day now, I tend to be exhausted the next day and need to rest and recover.  While in IT I had to be really sharp to manage multiple projects and complex technical designs, but I couldn't do anything like that these days with my memory problems and cognitive fog.  I now have the stress of trying to survive on hardly any income, but I have less stress in other ways, and the hope of being able to get off the drug eventually.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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I am in the midst of filing my papers. My pychologist is the one who diagnosed this as WD and labeled it SSRI discontinuation Syndrome. HE also sent a letter to my new GP , the old one I fired who got me into this mess, than denied it and treated me awful.  But he sent the letter to the new GP with Evidence and Scientific Articles backing it up. The GP is the one filling out the forms and I dont know If insurance will allow it anyway.  Im not sure if GAD and Depression could fly with insurance companies but Im pretty sure any WD related issues are just as easily dismissed.  One of the harder things we have to deal with during WD is the lack of medical and financial support. In this regard we really do get the short end of the stick.  Its possible its best for a doctor to put Chronic Fatigue or something better understood . Maybe GAD will be good enough . Let us know 

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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I have read insomnia might work online. I would think the WD diagnosis might work better than GAD. Though hard to get I am going to try and see a Dr that was posted on this site that can help treat WD. My work disability plan explanation has a stipulation that you cant be awarded benefits for mental illness if it can be treated with SSRIs and/or therapy. A GAD filing wont work then but WD might.

 

Anyone else out there have any experience with filing for work disability?  It seems based on the little response folks either toughed it out and worked or had to quit work and live from savings, credit cards or perhaps friends and relatives.     

Lexapro: started in 2002 at 10 mgs.

Ambien: started as a as needed sleep aid in 2010.

Quit Lexapro cold turkey in June 20015 due to contributing to low sodium issues.

Restarted Lexapro in late November for a week (only 5 mgs) but quit due to dizziness side effects. Side effects worsened for 3 weeks until

12/24/15: Protracted WD hit, experienced extreme anxiety, insomnia lack of full concentration and social challenges.

Reinstated Lexapro on 1/1/16 at 5 mgs. Increased per Dr to 7.5 MG. Tapered off Lexapro in March 2016.

Started 50MG of Seroquel in late January 2016 for bedtime to help in eliminate Ambien. Tapered off both Seroquel and Ambien in March 2016.

2/14/16: Prescribed both Remeron (15 MG) and Temazapam (15 MG) for sleep. Also use Klonopin and Ambien again in place of Temazapam to avoid addiction. However I did take Temazapam 60 straight days

6/15/16: Stopped use of all benzo's and now use Belsomra 1-2 times a week. Still on 15 MG of Remeron

10/11/16: Off all psych medications

 

After kindling, trying to regain my strength suffering from severe mental and physical fatigue.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I haven't worked since June 2015, and since our relocation back to the UK am now in the process of finding temp admin work until I can get permanent/contract work in my field.

 

This is scary (definitely).  I'm not concerned about temp admin work, but I am about returning to my regular work which is highly stressful.

 

I agree that going to work is a great and productive distraction from the constant health anxiety ruminating; which like a lot of others on this website; I am the first to admit I do.

 

Wondering how my body will react to being back in the office environment.  Will I be dealing with even more aches and pains in the months to come????

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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From the time I started my taper to 2 weeks go, I've had no w/d symptoms.  It's just with my last drop that I've experienced some symptoms but nothing significant.   Work is crucial so it's important for me to taper very, very slowly and in small fractions each time. My job isn't very stressful and I have been coping well but I find the w/d symptoms a distraction which I don't like.    I'll know better how I feel with the next taper which I won't do for another 2-2-1/2 months.  I plan on microtapering with 2-3 months holds in between to stabilize and feel strong and good again.  I don't feel anxious about getting off meds fast.  Hopefully, this works.

.5 mgs. Risperdal, Feb. 1/16 10% cut or less., mild w/d symptoms (cut too much), Apr. 1/16 5% or less cut, no w/d symptoms, May 15/16 5% or less cut, no w/d symptoms, Sept. 1/16 less than .25 mgs., no w/d symptoms, feeling great.  Risperdal tablets are disintegrating so shaving tiny tiny amounts is how I do it.

 

2012 to Aug./15 tapered 75 mgs. Effexor to nothing, felt great for 3 months then hit an anxiety patch late Oct., couldn't sleep, shaky all the time, couldn't concentrate. Nov. 1/15 reinstated tiny fraction, Feb. 1/16 8 beads, June 1/16 4 beads, Sept. 1/16 3 beads, no w/d symptoms, Feb. 10/16 2 beads, great no w/d symptoms, taking this really really slow.

 

200 mgs. Trazodone for sleep.  Will taper very slowly when Effexor and Risperdal are done with proven stability.

Taking Magnesium Citrate, Omega 3 Fish Oil  and Ashwagandha (has calming effect, promotes good sleep & feel energized)

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This is a question I'm am asking now, because I will be beginning work training soon. It seems like it will be a good distraction based on your experiences.  I fear though because I remember the days when I was depressed and couldn't make it to work.  Withdrawal symptoms have been different though, and so far not severe like a full blown depressive episode.  But still.  Somewhat traumatized from the early experience.  This time around, I have a husband supporting me but I hardly want to bum around all day while these symptoms go on.  Like others have said, I too tend to ruminate.

29y.o.  Started Lexapro, 15mg in 2013 for anxiety and depression.

9/28/15- Started taper, went down to 10mg, then 5mg by 10/31/15. 

1/2016-  anxiety, nausea, fatigue, crying spells, sadness, by January. Reinstated back to 10mg.  Leveled out.   1/1/2018- Began further taper, down to 0mg by 1/31/2018.  Last dose was 2.5mg. Feelings of dizziness during taper recommended by pdoc.  Slowed down taper, but still had symptoms of stomach upset.

2/12/18 - Dealing with symptoms of dizziness, anxiety, sadness, stomach upset.  2/20/18 - Reinstating medication with .6mg.  2/21/18 - Emotionally feeling better.  Dizziness much improved.  2/24/18 - Went to sleep with extreme feeling of chills.  No fever.  Fatigue.  3/19/18 - Increased anxiety.  5/1/18- Began therapy.  Have trouble with anxiety and GI symptoms.  9/22/18 - Decrease to .5mg.  Anxiety, GI, chills.  9/26/18 - back up to .6mg.  10/31/18 - app Curable, feeling distinct change in outlook and anxiety levels decreased.

2/1/19 - not seeing improvement in anxiety.  started 10mg Prozac  2/7/19 - up to 20mg Prozac, experiencing chills, tiredness  2/21/19 - tapering down to 10mg

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  • 4 months later...

Hi everyone...

 

I am still working in community mental health and made a choice to leave. The added stress of this field is way too much for me.

I have been at a couple interviews and may be taking a position in a hospital.

This job will be working with a team in children's O.R. My people contact would be with staff and not patient contact. More of a working with "things" job as opposed to "emotional people".

 

My question for anyone is this: This will be an afternoon shift. Is there a possibility that I may function better because of morning cortisol spikes?

Also, would the time of my cortisol spike change due to a different sleep schedule?

 

Any information or feedback would be greatly appreciated,

Cheryl

I was on Lexapro 10mg, once a day for about 8 yrs combined with Abilify 2mg, once per day and Klonopin ,25-.50mg up to 4 times a day. Prior to that multiple trials of various SSRIs and low doses of unsuccessful various mood stabilizers in anticonvulsant category with the same dose of Klonopin for a total of over 16 yrs.[/font][/size]Withdrawal from Abilify around Aug. 2015 and slow taper of Lexapro began late Jan. 2016. As of January 2017 I am 11 months full withdrawal from Lexapro and was .25mg of Klonopin at night.(went to .25 klonopin at night only somewhere in October)<p>**Update with my Klonopin taper. I was on .25mg at night and .25mg in AM with varying doses of .125mg during day, maybe once or twice on as needed basis. Starting in early September 2016 reduction of .125mg day dose was decreased to only .25mg AM. Over 2-3 weeks was down to .125mg AM for about 3-4 weeks. As of sometime in October down to only .25mg at night. As of 1/7/17 I am updosed to an additional .25mg at night, for a total of .5mg. As of June 23, 2017 I am on a liquid tapered dose of klonopin. Current dose 4.1ml as of February 21, 2018**

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Hi I finished tapering my meds recently I am working as a computer programmer. Feel as if the cognition fog has damaged my self confidence a bit i'm worried about whether or not I have brain damage,

and if I am going to have the same learning abilities I have had before. Part of it may be anxiety because of my illness which made me take these poisons in the first place. 

 

Definitely a big challenge dealing with all the w/d symptoms as well as the relapse of old emotions/obsessions/thoughts. 

Came very close to quitting my job because of it a couple of times.

Trying to remind myself this is only temporary and will probably get better as time goes on.

In short mainly trying to survive by forcing positive thoughts through such as the above another example would be that even if 

I have some sort of damage it is something that probably can be repaired.

But it's definitely hard.

Since about 2010-2009 up until 2016 I have been on 200 mg seroquel and am not sure if 50mg serenada or 100mg. At the beginning of 2016 I dropped the serenada and During March 2016 began lowering dosage in seroquel. ever since may 2016 completely clean thank god. :)  

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Work (and specifically, not working) is probably what I stress about the most. The crazy part is right now I have savings and I'm fine for a while. But I can feel my anxiety build whenever I start thinking about work (even volunteering). I think my fear is of failing and/or not being able to function at the capacity I have previously. i created and owned a company for 15 years. It did well for a while, then ultimately I had to shut it down. I partly attribute the failure to my decreased capacities (my meds "pooping out,"). There is no way I could operate in the way now that I did then. Confidence? Clear decision making? Leadership? Strategy? Negotiations? I can barely decide how much green there should be in the bananas I buy!

 

I'm just SO scared to be in a position where people are counting on me, because I don't know "which me" will show up day to day, hour to hour. I've found a way to "push through" (both acedemically and professionally) since I first started having panic attacks in college. Maybe the meds worked better before? I "self medicated" with alcohol as a supplement but I quit drinking 2 years ago and I keep that off the table, but perhaps historically that "helped?" I was younger? IDK. I just feel like I don't have the push in me anymore. And I am definitely much more limited mentally and much more emotionally raw / volitile than I was.

 

Is some of this a male / man (U.S.?) thing? My ego keeps saying I need to just suck it up and pull my sh*t together. I see people all around me with who knows what problems and they are working. And my gosh, how some of you push through and do what you do with the symptoms you're experiencing!?!? Again, that inner voice starts shouting that there is SOME type of work I could do, even if it's the type of labor I'm not accustomed to . . . my pride is getting in the way.

 

I've gone on way too long. I'm hoping to get this thread active and hear more from others on how you have dealt with this. Thanks to those of you who have commented previously.

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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I will likely start working beginning of August all things going to plan, lol.

 

It's been a year since I last worked in a high pressure environment which is the nature of the work I do.

 

I will need 'ramp up' time to get up to speed and performing at the level I was previously. However, I really don't know what to expect in terms of how my mind/body will react to deadlines and pressure again.

 

I have just had a week of interviews which I found very stressful.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • Moderator Emeritus

elbee, 

 

"Is some of this a man/male(U.S. thing?)?"

 

No, I don't think it is just a male trait anymore........this need to work for money.  For me........I know it defined me........or I let it define me as someone better somehow.......someone with these great skills and natural talents.  Someone who could multitask and do it all.    Easy for people like me to do......and others with low self esteems to begin with.........that "what you do is who you are" type thinking.  "Disability" is tough as well.......I mean continuing to get the payments as my main means of having the money to live.  So many stigmas around it.  It certainly isn't the first thing I share about myself with others.  And hey, is it okay to try and take a vacation every now and then and receive disability??  I mean........judgements around it maybe instead of stigmas.    Sure hope I can find that mostly "funnish" job to help make ends meet before 2016 is over.  It would sure give me less time to think........LOL.  As far as big time earnings(even a livable wage) and career type work for someone like me.........now...........I remain skeptical..........maybe that will change with healing and neuroregenesis.

 

Junglechicken, best of luck!

 

Hope and healing to us all,

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Thanks MMTD! x

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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Ya good luck Junglechicken!

 

MMTD thanks for sharing your take on this. I was raised with the idea that work defines who I am and it's really hard to shake that. I know I can't perform right now in the ways that I have before, and, well I'll just say it even though it's ugly, my ego kicks in when I think about taking a "lesser" job. I also feel like SOME type of work, even part time or volunteer to start might be good for me ... a "lesser" job that perhaps allows me to build confidence and perhaps even a sense of community in a work environment. Info try to keep my eyes and ears open for something to cross my path that "feels right" but perhaps I need to be more proactive. But like today, I started thinking about the idea of work and I could feel my anxiety rising almost to the level of panic. I swear it's like a phobia. Or perhaps my eventually "losing" my business I experienced as a trauma I haven't fully dealt with? It built a very successful business, brought in the wrong business partner in the wrong way (and I think I was in a functional decline too) and then it was gone. Omg even with all the successes it had, in the end I feel like a failure. I think in terrified to feel that again. I really don't know what to do.

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yup, same kind of deal for me.  The anxiety.......then to nearly paralyzing panic used to occur with every new career/job start about the time the orientation period was over and when I was left on my own. 

 

This after my last career job loss........which was quite awhile ago, more due to a merger and me not bringing in enough for them financially, with me "practicing" the way I did, in the hours I worked(having a young child at home and having worked out a schedule with my preceptor that fit to allow me to get him off to preschool......then school .......and rush on home on time to be there when he arrived home)..........also not having worked out with the new reception area people just what type of ?clients I liked to deal with.......had confidence dealing with, etc.  I also had a boss/preceptor who seemed to think I should stay home with my child more often or create a larger family.........lol.........something like that. 

 

Oh.......I had respectfully(thank you employers) lost another position prior to the one where I got laid off for "financial" reasons........given a really good lay off package deal including pay for a couple of months on that one......the one above.   A fine reference letter too.

 

The other job loss involved the "paralysis" effect as well.  I just didn't show up for a mandatory training after getting constructively criticized for a work situation where I should have performed more professionally, not as some artist/creative type........lol again.  And not being totally aware of my words used and the "whole of the situation" that I was in.     .........  I didn't show up for a dog/cat lab........that was held really just for me.......I mean seriously.......I messed up......I didn't cause a death or anything and did do the right thing in calling someone in to the scene I was at, but it reflected poorly on my employers and the boss, etc.  Anyway........this lab I missed........involved putting the cats and dogs we practiced on out of their misery when we were done.  :(  That was their final straw with me.........after close to a decade of employing me in that role.

 

So much for employers really valuing employees in those days.......but I did play my role as well in these career jobs' losses......not one I wish to repeat or am particularly proud of.

 

Hey, at least I can laugh.  I'm just not all that marketable like I used to be after so many years.  In my old career of choice.  Time for something new???  I don't know yet.  I haven't been windowing along for very long this time........I do have time.

 

But yah.......I know the terror and panic pretty darn well that goes with working in an area where I feel like I really and truly failed.  Failed myself.  Failed being perfect?  I don't know.  And it crosses over, with me, to even any job where I start to feel overwhelmed somehow.  Just prior to approval for disability.........I started and left about 10 different jobs in a 4 year period!!!!!!!

 

Yup.......I can volunteer again for a trial of my new self or do the not "lesser" but perhaps "better fit" for me now job that pays.  That "better fit" for me now job?????  Going to have to chance it and trust the universe a bit if something comes up or I find something.  For now...........well, in the near future..........I think getting my papers and such in order..........getting/being "ready to go" with references and such and previewing answers to those infernal interview questions.

 

We'll get there my friend.  Wherever there may be.

 

Thanks.  Good discussion.  Relief.  Breathe in again..... :)

 

Hope, health, and healing,

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Thanks for sharing about the challenges you faced manymoretodays. For me, I think the root issue has to do with my self esteem issues. I think that take explains a lot for me (lack of confidence, fear of failure). I guess the confidence I used to exude must have had some holes behind it? Perhaps I can learn to better love myself and that will have positive effects is a number of areas. That's my hope :)

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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  • 1 month later...

Does anybody knows this as a wd symptom?

Since 2 weeks I have a massive panic to go to work. That's why I took a break. Just thinking about my job drives me crazy. I remember the same feeling in my early wd as I had overwhelming panic if I see high buildings or a railroad line because I thought I could kill myself. My boyfriend and me had to leave our flat in the 2nd floor because I could not tolerate being that high.

 

I would love to get some answers. Best wishes.

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Hello Rocksie,

 

I read your history. Are you taking any medications at the moment? It just seems to me that that 2 weeks is a very short time period to withdraw from any psychiatric drug. It is possible that you are suffering withdrawal symptoms as a result of tapering off the citalopram so quickly.

 

I don't really know anything about citalopram unfortunately so I can't really give you any advice although maybe reinstating and then withdrawing more slowly might be a good idea.

 

How are you feeling at the moment by the way? Do you have people (your boyfriend for example) around you a lot of the time? 

 

Perhaps somebody more knowledgeable here might be able to give you better advice as regards medication. For now, try to stay safe and if you have disturbing thoughts make sure to talk to somebody straight away.

 

I wish you well.

 

Blazes.

Previously - zopiclone, risperidone, lyrica (pregabalin), ativan (lorezapam)
01/Aug/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
12/Aug/2016 -  75mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
03/Oct/2016 -  70mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
29/Oct/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
25/Nov/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
25/Dec/2016 -  60mg effexor, 3.6mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
18/Jan/2017 -  60mg effexor, 5.25mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
27/Mar/2017 -  54mg effexor, 5.25mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
23/Apr/2017 -  54mg effexor, 7.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
09/May/2017 -  75mg effexor, 7.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
08/Jun/2017 -  75mg effexor, 6.75mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
18/Jul/2017 -  75mg effexor, 6mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
Sometimes valium. Not daily. Supplements - Sterols and Stanols.
Note : I would really hope that nobody uses my tapering history as a guideline. It might not work well for somebody else tapering similar medications.
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Dear Blazes,

 

thanks for your answer. I'm off of citalopram 25 months now. Since 2 weeks I'm in a bad wave and the worst (new!!) symptom is this panic of working. I just want to know if anybody knows this as a wd symptom?

Yes I have support and people I can talk with.

 

Thank you and all the best for you!

 

Rock Sie

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  • 4 weeks later...

I had to leave College in about February/March this year due to a cold turkey from two Psych drugs (details in my signature), and I've recently just started College again.

 

I'll be honest, it's a huge struggle for me, Iv'e been coming home most days with really bad TD, Parethesia, bad Histamine Intolerance symptoms (High Pollen atm) etc.​ I feel as though could have waited a little longer to recover at home and this really stresses me out but I find that staying indoors nearly every day without a reason to get out was makes me quite pessimistic and makes me focus on my situation more than I needed to, so there's a good side to everything.

 

Plus the college have been so kind and supportive by putting various things in place for me and I get to see my friends who I haven't seen in a while, that in itself makes me feel brighter during the day.

2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal.

2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015.

Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs.

Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope.

Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine.

Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance.

Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable).

10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016.

 

Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness.

 

"Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron

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Currently working and attending school in the midst of a very slow taper.  I spent a significant amount of time unemployed and have gaps in my work history, some due to work related stress and hospitalizations. During that period, my pdocs placed me on high doses of various drugs, which intensified my angry/rage feelings. Now that I am on a much lower dose of Abilify, I am able to tolerated setbacks and focus somewhat on difficult materials.  I still struggle with reading comprehension at times, but not to the point where I cannot function at school or work. Focusing on positive outcomes and possibilities keeps me grounded in the work place, although I have days when I get very hard on myself for making mistakes that I (erroneously?) believe I wouldn't make if I didn't take Abilify. 

 

Pluck :D and luck worked the most for me during my job search.  I shared my complete story with someone and the person referred me to my current employer. That referral changed the direction of my career trajectory, all while titrating from absolute poison and dealing with itinerant sleep issues.

 

Surviving and perhaps even thriving in the world of work during withdrawal can happen, while others must do everything possible to focus on the slow taper and the adaptation process. If you feel inclined to work during this process and fear that gaps will hinder your efforts to find meaningful work, I found that authentically sharing one's enthusiasm for working yields results.

2006-2009 Zyprexa and Wellbutrin (dc Wellbutrin cold turkey, dc Zyprexa cold turkey with disastrous results) 2009-2010 Transitioned from Zyprexa to Abilify 2010-2015 Reduced from 20 mg of Abilify to 8mg. Cold turkeyed once during this period but finally learned my lesson.  12/2015 -  8mg of Abilify.  04/15/ 2016 -  7mg of Abilify. 09/15/2016 - 6.3mg of Abilify.  11/2016 - 5.7 mg of Abilify.  11/30/2016 - 5.1mg of Abilify. 01/2017 - 4.6mg of Abilify,  02/2017 - 4.1 of Abilify, 03/2017 - 3.8 of Abilify, 04/2017 - 3.4 of Abilify, 05/2017 - 3.0mg of Abilify, 07/2017 2.7mg of Abilify, 8/2017 2.5mg to 2.3 of Abilify , 9/2017 2mg to 1.8mg of Abilify, 10/2017 400mg of Abilify Maintena, unknown amounts of paroxine (sp), geodon and unknown benzo (forced), 11/2017 Abilify 6.0mg , 12/2017 Abilify 5.5 , 1/2018 Abilify 5.0mg, 3/2018 Abilify 4.5mg, 10/2018-1/2020 Abilify 15-20mg, other inpatient drugs, in and out of the hospital at this time, given tons of nonsense that I don't remember,  1/13/2021 - 3/31/2022, Abilify Maintena ?, Haldol Deca (injectable)250mg, Cogentin 5mg, Tergetol ? (inpatient), 4/2022 - 2/22/2023 Haldol Deca 200mg,  March 25th, 2023  Done! Last injection in February!!!! I am finally free after more than 16 years of psychiatry!  Let's Goooooooooooo! 

 

It's always darkest before dawn.

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  • 1 month later...

Lasted a month in a stressful job then quit.

 

What really didn't help was that the management attitude was to let new recruits "sink or swim".

 

Will have to find something slow and steady next time round.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • 1 month later...

I may have to quit my job and get one project based work that allows me to work at home, is more stressfree and less workload. also it means a lot less money, my boyfriend will have to support me. this decision is really tough :( has anyone had to do something similar? do you think having less stress would make recovery easier?

in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg. Jumped off fluoxetine 1,4mg due to pregnancy in July 2019. Oct 2019 severe withdrawal syndrome started.

Took mistakenly a complex for hormonal support that included pregnenolone dec2019-april2020. Stopped it april 2020 and immediately severe akathisia started. Have had life threatening akathisia since, 100% disabled, suicidal, very hard to hold on. 

 

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  • 3 months later...

I'd like to revive this thread, not sure I see it addressed elsewhere. I have been "working" very sporadically the last three years after a breakdown of sorts at a very high-stress job. I got some long-term disability pay from that, but my application for Social Security Disability is stuck in the appeal stage, which can take 1 1/2 years?

 

Meanwhile, I have done some art designs and sold them online, but I can hardly count on feeling stable enough to keep up with orders if it got busier. I leave myself a few days to get things done. I don't have a regular schedule at all. I have thought about a part-time job but I feel safer at home and would rather cultivate more profits from my online sales.

 

I have used most of my savings but not my personal IRA. Financial stress and self-esteem issues from not earning a living are certainly a detriment to healing and feeling whole. This is one of the most difficult parts of the process for me. Does anybody else share these issues or have ideas about it?

2012: Diagnosed major depression: Prozac 40 mg daily use of Klonopin 0.5 mg 2014: switched to Ativan 0.5 mg 2014-15: tapered down Prozac and Ativan (unsuccessful) Chinese herbs acupuncture 2016: diagnosed major depression for second time, put back on Prozac 40 mg also various tiny attempts with other drugs  2016: Gabapentin 1800 mg for nerve pain in feet (believe related to meds) (B12 injections) Low mood, low energy, no motivation. Frequent anxiety between doses of Ativan. Diagnosed adrenal fatigue, supplements. // 2017: 40 mg fluoxetine // 1.5 mg lorazepam // 1800 mg gabapentin // supplements   Mar 2017: 40 mg fluoxetine // 1.33 mg lorazepam // 1800 mg gabapentin // only fish oil supplementation July 2017: tapered off fluoxetine 100 days // 0.25 mg lorazepam // 900 mg gabapentin Continuing nerve pain, intermittent severe depression

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14160-squeak-prozac-ativan-nerve-pain-gabapentin-enough/

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Hi Squeak,

 

Yes, kind of......I think I do share some of these issues.  I feel like I have been already retired at an early age and am getting close to finally ending that phase......I hope.

 

I am on disability.......the "good" kind as I, when I applied for it, had all the work credits paid into social security, and the years worked in my recent past.  I never, ever expected it to be anything but temporary help........so I am kind of wowed about how it has gone......  I also applied and then reapplied and then got it after my final appeal.  It was based on a psych label as my diagnosis.  I hope I can change that.......maybe someday........the label.......on paper and all because I no longer believe in it at all.......which IS ironic but trust me........I was real sick and unable to hold down any job for a long time.......I tried and tried too.......  The effects of the drugs on my psych and some of my other other life conditions(marriage, relationships including in the workforce, then finally divorce) got me way worse than I think I ever naturally would have been.  Very low stress tolerance as a result of treatment with drugs too.......easily overwhelmed.  Improving but still not par.....

 

Robert Whittaker talks about this.....in his book "Anatomy of an Epidemic".  When I read that book I felt like his poster child......and even though at the time I could barely cognate.........I sent him an e-mail and he answered!!!!  He basically said that I, and the many like me, were the reason he did all his research and wrote!!!

 

Oddly now......or maybe not so much....the oddly.......I am okay with it all........after all it's been and is my special journey and I am glad I had/am having it.

 

I did get close to 20 years in my chosen career and worked really from the time I was about 14 or 15 at this or that.........so, I just sometimes have to convince myself I am not a deadbeat sloth.........but no, I also can't expect to go full bananas on another career at my age, unless I want to give something else up, or find someone to run my home and other aspects of life for me.......not likely.

 

I also have more recently cashed in a teeny bit of my IRA and transferred another pension from an employer into that account as well.  Luckily or unluckily.........I think luckily.........I am now officially 59 and 1/2 and I believe there are some rules as to SSretirement payouts from SSdisability that save on some of the penalty payments for early withdrawal.  I think I have a great fund manager who is knowledgeable along these lines........so that is great.

 

I also, more recently, got some financial help from some family members.....something I was always way too proud to do for a long, long time.

 

I don't know if this is what you were looking for........I hope it helps.

 

I do expect/hope to work for $$$ again and maybe until I am 70 or something.......if I get my way.......one never knows.  I don't expect I will work 90 hour weeks though or make huge sums but I really do feel like I have got it left in me to contribute somewhere.  I do what I can, without pay.........when I can as well............as far as work goes.

 

Anyway........I think one of the big things I have learned through all this is.........that none of us can do this alone.........I mean apart(in isolation) from having some helpful, kind, giving relationships and possibly somewhere to get some financial/living assistance. 

 

It does appear that work can be a blessing for some, an actual stress reducer, as well, during the period of acute W/D so there is that too.........the possibility of doing something outside your "career" scope if you have one, for awhile........  something funnish but that pays or that suits for a time and helps pay the bills.

 

Best to you,

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hey guys,

 

maybe there is a topic about this already. I'm reading alot of stories good bad and ugly...and quite a few people seem to be working....

Are a lot of you working? This sounds crazy to me, if you have any of the withdrawal symptoms surely it's near impossible to function?

 

And with Anhedonia?? That's my situation and with Anhedonia, I struggle to DO ANYTHING, never mind work....

 

just throwing it out there...thoughts?

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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I've worked full-time throughout my withdrawal, apart from 3 months when I was signed off because I herniated a disc. I look back now and wonder how the hell I managed it that first year... It was hard. It still is very hard sometimes and I struggle to motivate myself, get up in the morning (especially after a bad night's sleep) and concentrate all day.

 

On the other hand, it gives me something to focus on other than myself, and it forces me to get out of the house and interact with people. And no matter how much I want to stay at home alone with the curtains drawn, I usually do feel better for having been out. That said, my main reason for working through withdrawal is necessity, bills won't pay themselves. If I had a bit of money to fall back on I think I might have saved myself a lot of stress during withdrawal by not working, and maybe healed quicker, but who knows, maybe pushing myself helped.

2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!
Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.
Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium.

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I've continued to work part time but only because I've had a very understanding boss and very fortunate work situation.  If it weren't for the flexibility my boss has allowed me I would not have been able to maintain employment. 

 

Whether or not it has been good for me to work or not work is another issue.  I've taken up to a month straight off and found that I did better overall just being able to control my environment and not have any stress.  If I had the financial means, I would not have forced myself to work during this period.

Year 0:      Social anxiety, obsessive thoughts, NO depression, NO suicidal ideations

Years 1-2: Ativan (benzo) <1mg as needed, not abused but developed physical dependence

Years 2-3: Paxil (20mg) augmented with Adderall XR (10-20mg) due to withdrawal from Ativan

Years 3-Present: Severe depression, headaches, psychiatric hospitalization, lost job, etc.

 

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Interesting.....I guess I should state that I'm from Ireland...which quite a generous welfare system (rightly or wrongly)..

 

I do get out daily and attempt to engage in a variety of activities...I have severe anhedonia so I think it just about makes work impossible, for now anyway

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello everyone.

 

So glad I found this. I've read through this entire post and found it very interesting with how many people are different in this. I haven't been off everything for long and I keep getting pushed to get a job. So Monday was my first interview and I did well. If I get this job I'll be working in a pet supplies store working part time, possibly get trained as a groomer. The scary thing is that the store is brand new and I'll have to help set up. This sounds like a LOT of physical work but going to at least try. There's so much to gain from this.

 

I'd like to say that the knowledge of having an interview drove me crazy. I felt so anxious and feared a panic attack was going to pop up during the interview. Panic attacks haven't happened for awhile but I heard they can come back? But it had to be done, plans were already made and canceling was out of the question. So I picked an outfit that gave me some confidence and went, heart throbbing, sweating a little, feeling light headed. I did surprisingly well, even remembered important dates! I left feeling happy and proud!

 

Then night came. Currently lying here in bed with my eyes burning from an out of nowhere crying spell, really bad chest pain, horrible DR, feeling sick and out of it. These are symptoms I normally have but they are so much worse now! I had hardly any during and after the interview. Beginning to wonder if I'll be able to handle the job but I have to try! Maybe, like some of you, it'll help me focus my attention elsewhere. I'm unsure if I got the job or not but trying is all I'm good at. And you never know until you try, right?

 

Lord, help me.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Hang in there. I think you can do it. The job sounds pleasant. People who have pets are often nice. The Lord will help you!

 

I am volunteering now. It's not for pay but it's still a commitment. I was a bit anxious at first but am enjoying it

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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I got a call today and got the job. As much as I should be happy, I'm rather terrified on how I'm going to handle helping to set up a store. Lord be with everyone who goes into work while going through this. Praying for everyone who is also considering going into work during withdrawals. Wish me luck and prayers!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Good for you Dez well done ,you have  the strength for this horrible  withdrawal so that's experience in its self  ,don't doubt yourself .have patience with yourself  .best of look

PB 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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